stellarmeadow

30 day fic challenge

stellarmeadow — Tue, 06 Jan 2015 21:04:04 GMT

I'm starting a fic challenge on Monday, Jan 11. If you're interested, keep an eye on this blog:

http://30dayfic.tumblr.com/

This is a 30 day challenge with a twist. You start the fic the first day with one element. Each day you get a new element—a word, object, idea, or something that you have to incorporate into your fic as you go along.

The idea is to stir up your creativity, and energize your writing as you have to react to new ideas each day as you write. Need a kickstart to your writing at the start of the year? Give this a try.

The challenge starts on Sunday, January 11, 2015 at 9 am eastern US time, and the new word will be posted at 9 am eastern every day after for 30 days.

All you have to do to 'sign up' is follow the blog, but feel free to reply to it that you’re in as well. Then as you post, please tag your posts on AO3, LJ and/or tumblr with #30dayfic and reply to that day’s element with a link to it that day.

If you’d like to share it with other fans, please do. I’m trying to make the challenge elements as fandom generic as possible, so any fandom is welcome. Doesn’t have to be fanfic, either—use it as a chance to work on some original fic.

fic: 30 Day McDanno Challenge (1/30)

stellarmeadow — Mon, 24 Nov 2014 05:01:15 GMT

Title: 30 Day McDanno Challenge
Author: stellarmeadow
Fandom: Hawaii Five-0
Paring: Steve/Danny
Rating: R
Summary: Series of prompts (altered a little to fit McDanno), one a day for 30 days.
Notes: Full list is here. Try it yourself--you might like it! :)

Danny traced a finger along the back of Steve's hand, marveling at the beauty of it. It made Danny's own hand look pale where it lay against it, despite the perpetual tan Danny had after years of living in Hawaii.

The veins were thick, standing out against the skin. The leathery feel of his skin was at odds with the fine hairs that tickled Danny's finger as he ran it down to Steve's wrist, then back up to Steve's fingers.

His fingers were long and beautiful, and Danny knew the shape and feel of them intimately, had felt them in his mouth, in his ass, and all over his body. It was hard, sometimes, to reconcile the pleasure those fingers, those hands, could give, knowing that they'd been trained to do so much damage.

And yet they were so gentle, so delicate, when needed. He'd seen Steve take Grace's hand, which disappeared into Steve's completely, and inspire such trust and confidence in her. He'd felt Steve's hand when he'd needed comforting, a hand on Danny's shoulder, or his back, both hands gripping Danny's back as Steve enveloped him in a hug.

Always just the right amount of pressure. Always holding on, never letting Danny fall apart or stray too far from where he needed to be.

Except now.

Now they lay limp on the hospital bed, the fingers moving whichever way Danny maneuvered them, but not on their own.

"Steve," Danny said, eyes moving up Steve's arm until they reached Steve's face, still as the rest of him, his tan and dark hair a stark contrast to the white hospital sheets. "You've slept enough, man. You have to wake up."

The doctors had promised Danny that the wound wasn't fatal, not when he'd gotten treatment so quickly. But this level of stillness in Steve for so long just wasn't right. The man was energy itself in his own way, even when he wasn't moving a muscle, at least to Danny.

And Danny needed that energy.

"Seriously, babe, you gotta open your eyes. Come on."

He had to. Danny didn't know what he'd do if it took much longer.

Steve didn't move, and Danny dropped his head until his forehead rested against the back of Steve's hand. "Wake up, dammit," Danny said, no fire to his voice, more a plea than any anger.

He felt Steve's hand move, fingers twitching slightly, and looked up, tracking on Steve's face instantly. Steve's eyelashes fluttered, his hand clutching around Danny's, holding it fast as Steve's eyes opened and he looked around.

"Danny?"

"Yeah, babe," Danny said, not caring if his voice sounded watery. "I'm right here."

fic: Oblivion (8/?) (H50 Season 5 Coda Series)

stellarmeadow — Mon, 24 Nov 2014 04:53:04 GMT

Title: Oblivion
Author: stellarmeadow
Fandom: Hawaii Five-0
Paring: Steve/Danny
Rating: NC17
Summary: Season 5 coda series - think of it as Season 5 canon with a twist....
Notes: Chapter 8 - coda for ep 508. Missed previous chapters? Read them here:

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7

"Where is he?"

Wo Fat's voice was even stronger than his grip on Steve's head as he yanked it back, forcing Steve to look up at him. As if Steve could do anything at this point, so pumped full of drugs he didn't know what was real, let alone how to make his muscles work.

He was going to die here.

He was going to die, and Danny was going to find him. Maybe Wo Fat would put him in a barrel, because that would just be about Danny's luck, to find Steve in a barrel, the same way they'd found Matt.

"Tell me where he is," Wo Fat said again.

"I don't know. So kill me."

Wo Fat laughed. "Not just yet. I think I'll find someone whose potential death might be a little more motivating for you."

He let Steve's head go, circling the chair. "Joe White?" Steve stared straight ahead and refused to react. "Or the young Officer Kalakaua? Maybe Sergeant Kelly?" He stopped right in front of Steve. "Or maybe Detective Williams."

Steve tensed, even though he tried not to, and it was just enough that Wo Fat caught it, because he laughed. "Detective Williams it is," Wo Fat said, striding towards the door.

"Don't you touch him!" Steve screamed after him! "Don't you--"

"Steve." Danny's voice, soft and low, familiar as the hands on both of Steve's arms, keeping him from flailing around.

"Danny?" Steve opened his eyes, blinking at the bedroom. His bedroom, just starting to brighten with predawn light. Steve scrubbed a hand over his face, surprised to realize he was sitting up. "Shit," Steve said into his hand, before flopping backwards onto his pillow.

He opened his eyes after a moment to see Danny studying him. "Bad one this time?"

"Why?"

"Because you were halfway out of bed, yelling."

Fuck. He hadn't reacted that badly in weeks. But then Wo Fat hadn't threatened Danny in his dreams before.

He didn't want to think about what it meant that the dream was morphing like that.

"Sorry," Steve said again. As if he somehow still needed to apologize after at least a dozen nights of waking Danny like this. As if Danny wasn't still sleeping there any night he didn't have Grace for this very reason.

Not that Danny had said as much. Not that Danny had said anything about it. They hadn't talked about it at all. It had just become the new norm, routine for Danny to stay whenever Grace was with Rachel. If he had Grace, then Steve had dinner with them more often than not before going home, and when Steve woke up from a nightmare, there was invariably a text either already waiting, or within a few minutes. And a phone call often followed.

He'd been afraid to ask Danny if he'd put a camera somewhere in the room just to monitor him.

"Hey, Steve, you with me?"

Always that same, soft voice, every night, either in person or over the phone. "Yeah," Steve said, rubbing his face again. "Sorry, just...sorry."

"There are a lot of things you should absolutely apologize for," Danny said, "chief among them how you never let me drive my car, but this is not one of them." When Steve didn't respond, Danny leaned down, his face inches from Steve's. "Got it?"

"Yeah," Steve said. "I got it." He didn't, though. He had no translator for this strange language Danny had been using lately. It was like English, but not--the words were familiar, but the meaning was somehow not quite right.

Danny muttered something, but he seemed satisfied enough to flop back on the bed. Steve glanced at the clock, watching as it turned from 5:25 to 5:26. "I'm not getting back to sleep," he said finally, shoving the sheet off him and getting out of bed.

"You want some breakfast?" Danny said around a yawn.

"No, I'm gonna go for a swim. Get some more sleep. I'll fix something when I come back."

He grabbed his trunks and went downstairs, changing in the downstairs bedroom and grabbing a towel before heading out to the beach. The water was warm, embracing him, washing away the memory of harsher uses for it a little more each time he was out here. This was the ocean that had comforted him after loss throughout the years; he wasn't losing that to a memory.

For a long time it was the only comfort he had.

Now, though...there's Danny. Steve had seen the dark shadows for weeks after Danny had returned from New Jersey. He knew Danny wasn't sleeping through the night now, but the shadows were getting better. How little sleep had he been getting before if this was better?

Was that the reason he stayed without being asked, without discussing it? Because as weird as it probably seemed to anyone on the outside, it didn't feel weird. And Steve remembered the weeks of sleepless nights as he'd grappled with various losses; he was fucking grateful that Danny was there to at least let him sleep some this time.

He just hadn't considered that Danny might be getting some of his own healing from their odd little arrangement.

He should've seen it, should've pushed his way in without asking, the way Danny was doing now. This was Danny--he didn't know how to ask for help any more than Steve did, and he wasn't shy about pushing Steve without being asked. He also didn't complain when Steve did the same--well, he complained, he complained a lot, but he never meant it.

It was part of why they worked.

They knew without asking what each other needed, from sex to a shoulder. Not that they'd had sex, which was just another one of the oddities of this whole thing. But maybe that's how that worked, too, one or the other, anger needing a different outlet than pain.

It was one of those things he didn't want to examine too closely. Why fix what wasn't broken?

He cleared his mind and focused on his strokes, his own mental exercise to go along with the physical, repairing his mind as well as his body from the abuse it took as the sun rose over the ocean.

***

The sun was warm and bright by the time Steve got back to the beach. He dried off as he walked through the grass to the lanai. By the time he was in the dining room, the scent of breakfast drew him into the kitchen.

Danny was at the stove, watching a frying pan like he was auditioning for Iron Chef. Steve draped his towel around his shoulders and leaned against the fridge, watching for a moment before saying, "I thought you were going to get some more sleep."

"I tried," Danny said, looking over his shoulder, "but I couldn't, so I got up. Figured I'd make breakfast when I saw you heading back.

So he'd been awake all this time and watching. He didn't look as if he was exhausted, though. If anything there was a light in his eyes that had only lately started reappearing, set off by the bright morning sunlight and the deep blue of his shirt--one of the ones that had migrated to Steve's closet without discussion. It made sense--Danny was waking up there half the time, why wouldn't he have some clothes that stayed there?

"Have you managed to successfully mangle the eggs yet?" Steve asked, getting a bottle of water out of the fridge.

"Mock me and I will not let you taste my culinary genius, my friend."

Steve laughed, but the truth was that Danny had become a much better cook, and Steve had benefitted greatly from it the past few weeks. Danny might think there was something wrong with him if he admitted it, though, so he kept his mouth shut.

"I see you don't have a comeback for that one," Danny teased.

Steve shrugged as he downed the water. "I'm hungry," he said, tossing the bottle in the recycling bin.

"Here," Danny said, handing Steve a coffee mug.

After one sip, Steve's eyes widened--Danny had broken out the French press and everything. "What's the special occasion?" Steve asked between sips.

"It's breakfast," Danny said. "We get that just for waking up in the morning."

Which sometimes was a feat in itself, just to make it through the night and get out of bed the next day, so Steve supposed that could be a special occasion. He still felt like his English filter--or maybe it was just his Danny filter--was slightly off or something, but they'd been doing just fine not talking about anything.

Besides, he liked seeing Danny looking happy.

"You cook like this every morning," Steve said, "you'll make someone a great wife."

The joke left an odd taste in his mouth, but Danny just laughed. "You're hilarious," he said, backhanding Steve on the arm gently on the way to the fridge. "Go sit down. I'll bring the food."

Steve tried to find something to say in return, but couldn't, so he gave up and did as he was told.

***

Danny cursed the early lunch traffic as he waited to turn onto Beretania. He'd hoped to make it to his house and the dry cleaner's in time to be at HQ before the traffic got annoying, but they'd taken longer at the Kealoha house than planned.

At least his suit would be nice and clean for the wedding tomorrow.

Steve's paranoia over his aunt's fiancé was not exactly unexpected, given the number of family members telling him the truth was pretty low. If he was Steve he'd probably be wearing a tin hat by now. The fact that Doris was still hiding from him didn't help matters--if Steve didn't get some closure on that front soon, he'd be in danger of turning into Jerry.

Not that Danny wasn't doing his best to help. He'd pretty much moved into Steve's part time without asking, because he'd known what was coming, and he'd also known Steve wouldn't ask or tell unless Danny forced it out of him, or was there to see it.

And he was done watching Steve walk around like a zombie for a few months after catastrophes.

Danny felt better doing something for someone he cared about--it was a nice distraction. A different one than the bouts of sex they'd been using for temporary distraction, but one that was more sustainable and long-lasting.

Sex was fleeting.

He pulled into his spot and jogged up the front sidewalk, mulling over the Kealoha case until bright red hair caught his eye. "Deb?" Danny called out to the couple on the steps.

She turned, a smile lighting her face, reminding Danny of her nephew. "Danny!" Deb said, leaning in to give him a hug. "It's so lovely to see you again."

"You, too," Danny said, looking expectantly at Leonard.

"This is my fiancé, Leonard," Deb said. "We're getting married tomorrow--did Steve tell you?"

"Oh yeah, I just took my suit to the cleaners so I'll look nice for it." Danny shook Leonard's hand. "Nice to meet you."

"You, too."

Leonard's handshake was firm, and wow, Steve wasn't kidding about the hands. Smooth as a baby's bottom. "Wow, that's some smooth hands you've got there," Danny said, fishing as delicately as he knew how. "You're gonna have to tell me what kind of lotion you use."

"You'll have to ask the lady on the ship," Leonard said.

"What?"

Deb stepped in. "I insisted we get mani pedis the last day on the ship in preparation for the wedding."

Okay, Danny knew guys like Leonard--his dad had friends that could almost be the guy's clone. And if he sat through a mani pedi, he must be in love. "How sweet," Danny said. "Sounds like the cruise had everything."

He listened to Deb extolling the virtues of the ship as he escorted them through security and to the offices, almost falling all over himself to explain the soft hands to Steve. The guy had enough to worry about, hopefully this would take one thing off his plate.

Steve did look a little relieved at hearing the story, so Danny counted it as a win and went back to focusing on their new suspect. He waited until they were driving out to talk to Tai, Steve deciding to take his truck for once, to ask, "So, feel better about Leonard yet?"

"I don't know, man." The words were slow and halting. "Something still seems off."

Danny took a deep breath. "Maybe nothing's off," he said carefully. "Maybe it's just...."

Steve spared him a glance. "Just what?"

"Nothing." Danny nodded up ahead. "There's the rental place."

***

Tai Gable was a total brain trust, but once Danny met Tai's mother, he could at least see why. But understanding the reason he was the way he was didn't help their case any. Nor did the discussion on the way back to the car.

Steve's phone rang with what Danny hoped was a lead as he got into the car. It became obvious that it as a lead, just not on their case.

It was going to be really hard to break Steve of his borderline paranoia when he kept ending up being right.

Sure enough, the first thing Steve said after hanging up and getting into the car was, "I was right."

"What, when you took off without me at the scooter rental and left me to the mercy of Grover's driving?"

Steve rolled his eyes. "Will you let that go?"

"Grover's driving, Steven. He makes you look like Mario Andretti."

Steve gave him a glare and long-suffering sigh. "That was Jerry on the phone."

"Yeah, I heard. Leonard's a lawyer?"

"Mob lawyer," Steve said, starting the car and peeling off with more speed than was really necessary.

That explained the soft hands. "Who was he with?"

"The Leone family. He got Gino Leone off of three murder charges in ten years."

"Judging from what I heard of the conversation, it wasn't just his silver tongue that did the job?"

Steve gripped the wheel harder as he took a turn faster than Danny's stomach liked. "FBI wire tap has the Leone brothers talking about Leonard destroying a murder weapon."

"Okay. That doesn't mean he did it."

"Danny--"

"No, listen to me for a minute, okay? Two mob guys say on a wire tap that Leonard destroyed the murder weapon. They are not exactly what we would call star witnesses."

Steve rolled his eyes. "What reason would they have for saying it, then?"

"I don't know. Maybe they knew they were being recorded and trying to implicate him instead because he wouldn't do it. Or maybe they're idiots. My point is, just because they said it doesn't make it so."

He could see Steve trying to control his emotions before Steve finally said, "Okay, so then why is he lying to Deb?"

"Because he loves her?"

"And people lying to those they love never ends badly, right?"

Yeah, this was going well. "Look, think about this like a cop, okay?" Danny said. "What's his motive?"

"Motive?"

"Yeah. If he's doing this, he must want something, right? Does your aunt have any money?"

"Not enough that would matter, and she doesn't have a big insurance policy or anything."

"Then why is he doing this? Other than love?"

Steve sighed and watched the road, McGarrett speak for 'I don't have an answer.'

"The guy's dying, Steve. And he wants to marry the woman he loves before he does. People have lied for a lot less."

"Yeah," Steve said after a moment.

"So you gonna tell her?"

Steve glanced at him. "I have a choice?"

There's always a choice, Danny started to say, but he thought about who he was talking to, and realized that no, there really wasn't. Steve wasn't wired for this to be a choice--his parents had seen to that.

***

" Leonard isn't lying to me. I've been lying to you."

The words didn't make sense at first, but once they fell into place, he wasn't even that surprised. Lying did run in his family after all. Though she of all people should know how he felt about lies--the first thing she'd told him was that she didn't know where Doris was. Assuming that was true.

But no, he knew she wouldn't lie about that. She had her limits.

And her disappointments, he realized, as he listened to her talk about the things she'd missed out on. He got it, he did--she had finally found love and she had so little time left to enjoy it, she'd just wanted to avoid the inevitable fight Leonard's past would cause.

He didn't like it, but he got it.

"Steve, the one thing I never gave up on was love," Deb said. "And I guess it never gave up on me, either, because here he is. At long last." Her smile was radiant. "And now, you know, I can leave this earth, knowing that I have experienced the most profound and life-altering thing a person can. I just hope that someday you'll know how wonderful that feels."

She took his hand. "Steve, you're so willing to risk your life. When are you gonna be willing to risk your heart?"

"I did."

"Then where's Catherine?"

He'd been dreading this. He told her the short version of what had happened, and that Catherine was not coming back. She'd been very clear about that, and about Steve's need to move on. He thought about asking Deb what it was about him that made the women in his life choose dangerous jobs in foreign countries over facing him, but decided that might sound a little melodramatic.

And he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer.

He didn't want the sympathy in her eyes or her voice, either, as she said she was sorry. Didn't need it, in fact. He told her he'd trusted his heart, but the truth was, he hadn't. He'd kept part of it locked away, safe and sound, so it couldn't get hurt. He always did. She hadn't had his whole heart. He wasn't sure anyone ever would.

Maybe he wasn't built for that level of trust.

You trust Danny with everything, the little voice in his head said. Which was true. But that was different. Danny wasn't a risk. Danny was incapable of hurting Steve--he'd proven it time and time again. He'd defied Rachel to stay and help Steve when he was in trouble, then he'd defied her again to keep Grace and himself on the island.

Danny wasn't going to desert him, he knew that like he knew his own name. But that wasn't about love or a leap of romantic faith or something with hearts and flowers.

That was just incontrovertible fact.

***

They said their goodbyes to Travis and Jake, and a slightly more stiff goodbye to the lawyer--Steve still wasn't sure the guy hadn't at least known what Kate had been planning. He thought about ways to prove it all the way to the car, but came up with zero.

"What?" Danny said, as Steve pulled out into traffic.

Steve glanced at him. "What what?"

"That face. What's up?"

Steve sighed. "I just don't get how a mother could love her kids so much, and yet understand them so little. Those kids would've lived in a two bedroom apartment and not complained once if it meant keeping their parents. And she took that away from them for money."

"Most parents are hardwired to protect their children," Danny said slowly. "But that doesn't mean they always make the right decisions. Babies don't come with manuals." He shrugged. "Screwing up doesn't mean they don't love their kids."

Steve studied him for a moment. "I wasn't talking about Doris."

"Did I say you were?" At Steve's look, Danny frowned. "Did Deb have info on her?"

"No. Before I could even ask she told me she didn't know where Doris was." Steve tapped the steering wheel a few times, checking the rear view mirror with more care than it probably needed. "She has to know he's dead," he said finally. "Wouldn't that make it safe for her to come back? She could lie to me about the connection, and I'd never know--at least as far as she knows. Right?"

"Maybe not," Danny said. "She doesn't know what he might have told you. She doesn't know what she'd be facing if she came back."

"She knows she'd be facing a son who wants to see her."

Even to his own ears his voice sounded hoarse. He turned on the radio to cover the sound and changed the subject before Danny could say anything else.

***

Steve was just getting out of the truck when Danny pulled up to the house, despite Danny leaving first. He'd said he had to run an errand, and Steve figured he knew what it was when he saw the dry cleaning bag Danny pulled out of the back seat.

"What's in the bag?" Steve asked.

"My suit for the wedding. Just picked it up--all nice and clean for tomorrow."

"There's plenty of room in the closet upstairs," Steve said as he unlocked the door, "if you want to hang it up."

Of course, several of Danny's shirts were already in the closet, so he knew how much space there was. Steve just wanted to make sure he knew he was welcome to the space he'd already taken up and more.

He didn't know how else to say thank you, since he suspected Danny would have the same view of that that he did of saying I'm sorry.

"Thanks," Danny said, heading up the stairs. "What's for dinner?"

Steve thought about the energy it would take to actually make something. "Pizza?"

Danny looked down from the landing. "No pineapples."

"Have I ever forced you to eat pineapples on pizza? Other than making you try it once, just to say you did?"

"No, but it's you. Who knows what you might decide to do at any time? It's important to reinforce the limits."

Steve shook his head. "Go hang up your suit. I'll order the pizza."

He pulled out his phone, flipping through the contacts. Only when he'd hit dial did it occur to him how good the routine they had felt. Normal, almost.

"JJ Dolan's, how can I help you?"

Steve put the other thoughts out of his head and focused on food.

***

The door opened, and Steve saw Danny get shoved through, Wo Fat right behind him, a gun pointed at Danny's head.

Fuck. He hadn't wanted to pull Danny into this. "Wo Fat, I swear, I will kill you."

Wo Fat just laughed. "And yet I am the one with the gun," he said, shoving Danny to his knees, facing Steve, less than a foot away. "No more games, McGarrett," Wo Fat said. "Where is my father?"

"I told you, I don't know."

"Wrong answer." Wo Fat put the gun to the side of Danny's head. "Where is my father?"

"You kill him, and I will make you die the most painful ways I can possibly imagine."

Wo Fat looked unimpressed. "You have to the count of five. One."

"I swear to you, you will pay!"

"Two. Three."

"Let him go! I don't know where your father is!"

"Four."

"I don't know!"

"Five."

The crack of the gun woke Steve, and he looked around wildly, seeing Danny right beside him, sitting up, whole and unharmed. Steve let out a shaky breath, taking several more before they even started to calm down.

"You okay?" Danny asked after a minute.

Steve nodded, rubbing his face with both hands before looking up at Danny. "I'm okay."

"You wanna talk about it?"

"No," Steve said. "But not talking about it doesn't seem to be helping, so...." Steve sat up, the change in angle allowing him to see more of Danny's face in the moonlight. "The last couple nights it's been Wo Fat trying to get me to tell him where his father is."

"Is it like it happened, or different?"

Steve wondered at the question. "It's different. He...he keeps threatening you," Steve admitted in a low voice. "Trying to use you to get me to tell."

Danny nodded as if that made perfect sense. "After...after Colombia," Danny said, the words halting, "I had a lot of dreams. Still have them, but not as many. Most of them involved Reyes using other people to try to get me to find the money. Grace, my family...you."

"How did you make them stop coming all the time?"

"Time." Danny gave a half shrug. "And they don't seem to really hit when I'm here."

So he really was waking up with his own nightmares on the nights he was texting from home, then. "I can't decide if that makes me feel better or worse about waking you with mine."

Danny's smile flashed in the moonlight for a second. "Come on," he said, dragging Steve back down onto the bed. "We actually have time to catch a little more sleep before morning."

Steve shuffled around, settling in when his arm was pressed against Danny's from shoulder to wrist. The contact helped, almost as if some of the pain was seeping out of him and into Danny. It was easier and more painful than the other times, when he'd soldiered through deaths and loss. He was feeling the pain this time, and it hurt like hell. But the conduit to Danny was like some sort of painkiller, taking it away bit by bit over time.

He might be new to the concept of sharing his pain, but he thought maybe he could get used to it, if this was the result.

I can leave this earth, knowing that I have experienced the most profound and life-altering thing a person can. I just hope that someday you'll know how wonderful that feels.

Deb's words about Leonard floated through his mind, suddenly making more sense. It wasn't the same, this thing with Danny. There were no hearts and flowers, no romance, none of those things entered into it. But Danny had definitely altered his life in ways that Steve hadn't expected, had thought he didn't even want.

And his life was better for it.

***

"Deb looks happy."

Danny's voice sounded a little wistful. Steve watched Deb dancing with Leonard, their cheeks pressed together, and understood why. They looked more than happy. They looked ecstatic. The picture of storybook love, minus the happily ever after, at least long term.

But it didn't seem to bother them.

"Yeah, she does. I hope they get some good time together."

The song ended, and Deb gave Leonard a kiss and headed for Steve and Danny's table. "Sorry," she said, as she sat down. "If I'd been thinking, I would've invited some of the pretty girls who were on our cruise so you fellas would have someone to dance with."

"That's okay," Danny teased, "if I get really desperate I'll just ask Steve." He stood. "I'm going for a drink--would you like one, Deb?"

"Champagne, please?"

Danny nodded and walked off. Steve watched him go, buzzed a little on the combination of alcohol and the nice evening they'd had so far. No cases, no nightmares, just a celebration of family and love.

He turned, frowning at the look on Deb's face. "What's that look?" he asked.

She shook her head, her face smoothing out into a smile. "I was just wondering if you were going to take my advice."

"Huh?"

"Look...Mary told me a little about how you got that new scar," she said, pointing to the scar she'd so carefully covered with makeup so he wouldn't ruin her wedding pictures. "And I know you've had a few other close calls. So I'm here to tell you, kiddo, if you find love, don't fight it. No matter where you find it."

"That's a pretty big if."

"Is it?"

Before he could try to get her meaning out of her, Danny returned, a glass and two bottles in hand. He gave Deb the champagne, and put a Longboard in front of Steve before taking his seat. "We drink too many more of these," Danny said, "and we'll be staying at the hotel tonight."

"I'm fine," Steve said.

"This is your fourth," Danny replied. "Do we need a reminder of the staple gun incident?"

"That was six beers," Steve said. "And besides, I'm not driving a staple gun. I'm not driving anything for a while yet."

He saw the light in Danny's eyes, then, realized Danny was just having fun winding him up in front of his aunt. "And really, do you want to talk about the picture hanging incident?"

"No," Danny said quickly. "No, I do not."

"That's what I thought."

Deb was laughing at them. "The pair of you...."

"What?" Steve asked, because that tone was still there that he couldn't quite figure out.

"Nothing." Deb stood up. "The bride shouldn't sit out more than one song at her own wedding," she said, holding out a hand to Danny. "Care to dance?"

"Absolutely."

Steve watched them go out to the floor, saw Deb lean in and say something that made Danny laugh and look over at the table. He thought about worrying about what she might have said, but he was having too good a night to bother.

If Danny was laughing, it couldn't have been that bad.

***
TBC

fic: The Art of Choice (1/1)

stellarmeadow — Wed, 12 Nov 2014 03:21:07 GMT

Title: The Art of Choice
Author: stellarmeadow
Fandom: Hawaii Five-0
Paring: Steve/Danny
Rating: NC17
Summary: Steve gets a new tattoo. Danny's a little fixated.
Notes:Took me forever to write this because a) it's porn-heavy and b) every time I worked on it I desperately wanted a new tattoo. But it's done! Hope you like it! Huge thanks to smudgegirl and uxseven for the cheerleading along the way, and corilannam for the title help!

"You wanna watch?"

It takes Danny a minute to find his voice. "Do I wanna--uh..."

Steve's look makes Danny feel like a wobbly puppy. "My new tattoo," Steve said. "You want to come watch the guy work?"

Danny licks his lips. "Will he--I mean, is it allowed?" When he got his, they had a strict rule against it.

Steve shrugs. "I can't have a party, but one person, sure."

"Uh, yeah," Danny says, rubbing the back of his neck and hoping the heat he feels there doesn't mean he's flushed. "Sure. I...yeah."

Steve smiles, and Danny knows he's flushed now. That slow, knowing grin is going to be the death of Danny one day.

***

Danny's mesmerized by the needle, by how Steve holds himself so still as it buzzes across his back, by the little movements Steve makes to get more comfortable at first each time the artist pauses. Danny's also distracted by Steve's bare ass at first--after a couple of months of sleeping with Steve, he's come to accept that he'll never completely avoid getting distracted by that ass.

In his defense, it's a pretty spectacular sight.

The shop is air conditioned, but Steve's still showing a fine sheen of sweat across his back from the effort of staying still. After a while, though, Steve's stillness changes, less of an effort, more of a relaxation. Like it feels good, in the way a really good massage does.

Danny's only had the tiny ones on his hands, only just enough to get the tingle and the buzz of it. Whatever it is Steve's feeling from the needle, it's a lot better than what Danny got in a few minutes.

As the design starts to take shape, Danny can't help but think how hot it is, Steve marking himself low on his back, down onto his ass. It's not for him to see, or for anyone that he doesn't want to let see it. It's art, Steve's private collection, and right now Danny's the only one, other than the tattoo artist, who gets to see it up close.

Will be the only one who gets to see it up close ever again, if Danny has any say in the matter.

The lines are beautiful, intricate designs, and Danny can only imagine how amazing they'll be when it's finished. Danny can't wait to trace every one of them with his tongue, teasing Steve until he's begging for Danny's tongue in his ass.

The needle hits a sensitive spot and Steve hisses, his ass tensing up, taut and tight, the way Danny knows it looks when Steve is fucking him, thanks to a hotel with a rather large mirror that they'd enjoyed way more than they should've. He watches the shape move with Steve as he settles in again, and can't wait to see the whole thing under his hands, to watch his cock disappearing between it.

The mere thought has him half hard, and he shifts in his chair. Nothing he can do about how that for hours yet, he tells his dick, no matter how demanding it gets.

His dick doesn't care.

He shifts in his seat, looking up as he move, catching Steve's knowing smirk, and has to shift again. Danny raises an eyebrow, as if it's going to make Steve think that Danny's not sitting there, totally turned on.

He wouldn't put it past Steve to have brought him for that very reason in the first place.

***

Steve settles gingerly into the passenger seat of the Camaro. "So this is why you really brought me?" Danny teases. "So I could drive you home?"

"Hey, if you want me to drive...."

"That's big talk, but I don't see you actually getting out."

Steve puts his hand on the door handle, then shrugs and lets it go. "You're always complaining I never let you drive your car. Now you're complaining that I'm letting you drive your car?"

Danny thinks about that for a second, before starting up the car and driving off without another word.

***

They eat dinner and watch a hockey match that Danny really couldn't care less about, which is just as well. His mind is too busy replaying the mental video of Steve getting the tattoo. Every time Steve shifts to get more comfortable, or stands for a minute to take the pressure off the tattoo, the whole thing starts playing itself in his head again.

Steve's not the only one doing a lot of shifting to sit comfortably.

Eventually, Steve gets up and stretches with a grimace. "I think I need to clean the tattoo," he says, and Danny knows that look in his eyes. "Wanna help?"

Danny's off the couch before the sentence is over. He follows Steve up to the bathroom, watching as the tattoo is uncovered. The colors are far less impressive now, dulled by Steve's body's attempt to heal and some kind of goo that the tattoo artist had slathered on it. But it's still impressive, and it still sets Danny's mind back to watching it take shape.

"When are you going to finish it?" Danny asks, eyes still on the ink.

Steve shrugs. "It'll take a couple more sittings--just depends on when I can get back in." He grins at Danny over his shoulder. "It's not like we really have normal hours where I can plan ahead easily."

Steve steps out of his pants and into the shower, and Danny starts to follow, before realizing he'd been too busy staring to take off his own clothes. He disposes of them quickly and joins Steve in the shower.

Danny swallows as he watches stray drops of water run down Steve's back--a sight to behold all on its own--across the tattoo and down Steve's ass. Steve's facing the spray, his back mostly out of it, so it's only a little water, but it's enough. "How do you want me to...." Danny asks, hearing the hoarseness in his own voice.

"Here." Steve hands him some soap. "Just use that with your hands, and be gentle. Try not to peel anything off."

"Got it." Danny cleans the area gently, watches as Steve tenses occasionally, the sight getting him just as hard as it had when Steve was getting the tattoo itself. He rinses it just as carefully until it's as clean as it's going to get.

He can't help dipping his hands down, sliding them across Steve's ass, getting in one good squeeze before placing a kiss between Steve's shoulder blades. "I think you're about as clean as you're going to get."

"Thanks," Steve says, turning them both around so his back stays out of the spray, but Danny's under it. Steve's facing him now, leaning in for a kiss before taking his time to clean Danny up thoroughly, and if Danny hadn't already been hard as a rock, this would've done it.

He's almost sure he's not even going to make it out of the shower without coming, when Steve reaches around past him to shut off the water.

"Come on," Steve says, taking Danny's hand and leading him out of the shower. He dries Danny off with as much care as he'd cleaned him, and really, Danny's all fine with foreplay, but any second now his dick's going to shatter from being so hard for so long.

Danny takes the towel away, swiping at Steve until he gets to Steve's back, which he pats dry very carefully. "Do you need to do anything to it?" Danny asks.

"Yeah." Steve reaches into the cabinet and pulls out a tube and hands it to Danny. "Can you put it on?"

As if Danny wouldn't jump at the chance? "Yeah." He follows Steve to the bed, taking a moment to steel himself as Steve spreads himself out on the bed, face down.

When Danny doesn't move right away, Steve turns his head to look up at him. "Something wrong?"

As if that look and that tone didn't give away that Steve knew exactly what was going on. "No," Danny said, trying for nonchalant and falling very short. "Was just thinking I should go check on the score of the game."

Steve gives him a mock frown. "The game was over when we came upstairs."

Danny hadn't noticed. He gives up all pretense and gets on the bed on his knees, between Steve's spread legs. He could swear his dick was trying to pull him the extra distance until he can sink himself into Steve's ass, but that'll have to wait.

He uncaps the Aquafor Steve handed him and starts rubbing it into the ink, fingers tracing the lines. He wants so badly to trace them with his tongue, wants to do all kinds of things, so many things that he's making a mental list.

He'd be worried that he was hurting, as his fingers glide over the marks, but if Steve was a cat, he'd be purring. "Am I putting you to sleep?" Danny teases.

Steve's chuckle is low, the one Danny's used to hearing in this bed more than anywhere else, and it makes him even harder. "On the contrary," Steve says, twisting a little to look down at Danny. "I'm very awake.

Steve's dick is just visible with the way Steve turned, and Danny can see just how awake he is. "So I see."

"You done?" Steve asks.

Danny's reluctance to stop going over the tattoo, learning the new marks by heart, is not nearly as strong as his need to touch everywhere else. "I'm done," he says, wiping his hands on the sheet, earning him a look from Steve. "What?" Danny says. "Like you're not about to leave that stuff all over the sheets when you sleep on them?"

"It'll dry a little by the time I actually sleep," Steve says.

His tone is the same as that low chuckle Danny loves, and Danny's breath hitches just a little at it. "Planning to do something other than sleep?" he says, his voice coming out a little unsteady.

"Come up here and I'll show you what I'm planning."

Danny's dick actually twitches at that, and he can't do anything other than comply. He lets Steve manhandle him until he's placed just as Steve wants, on his back with Steve covering him as he traces his way down Danny's body with his tongue.

Steve settles in between Danny's legs, giving Danny a scorching look before ducking his head and all but swallowing Danny's dick. Danny's first instinct is to close his eyes, the feeling alone almost overwhelming.

But he can't. He needs to watch, needs to see that this is Steve doing this. Over-the-top-Super-SEAL-I-could-kill-you-with-my-pinky Steve, bent over Danny's dick, sucking it like it's the most important mission he's ever been handed and he's determined to exceed expectations.

And it's not like just that alone wouldn't be enough to get Danny off. But no, Steve, fucking Steve, over-achiever that he is, has to up the stakes. He's bent over Danny's dick with his ass in the air, that tattoo on his back in full display, moving with Steve's body as he writhes--there's really no other word for it--while his head bobs up and down over Danny's dick.

The sight, on top of everything else, is too much, and Danny can't stop it. He comes hard, pushing up into Steve's mouth, Steve drinking it down like a pro, leaving Danny wrung out and gasping for breath. And as if that isn't enough, Steve sits back on his knees, eyes dark and hot on Danny as Steve wraps his hand around his own dick, moving hard and fast, just the sight of it making Danny's dick twitch like it really wants another go right now.

Steve's eyes squeeze shut as his body goes all hard and sculpted, making Danny's mouth water as Steve comes all over Danny's thighs. Danny would really like another go at that right now, but his body is about ten years past the ability. It makes him a little sad that he didn't meet Steve sooner, but then if he had, he's not sure they'd have ever worked.

So he's happy enough to take what he has now.

Steve opens his eyes at last, already climbing up Danny's body for a kiss, wrapping his arms around Danny like they're still squeaky clean and not halfway to disgusting. Danny wonders if something's wrong with his brain that he finds that endearing.

After a moment's reflection, with Steve's head on his chest and Steve's hand snaking its way down to rest just under Danny's ass, Danny decides he doesn't really care if there's something wrong with him. As long as it doesn't decide to set itself right.

***

In what feels like months later, but really isn't nearly that long, Steve's checking the tattoo in the bathroom mirror one night after a shower, looking this way and that, making the tattoo move in ways that Danny still hasn't figured out how to keep his body from reacting to. "Hm," Steve says.

"Hm?"

"Looks like it's healed pretty well."

Danny blinks, his hand gripping his towel so tight his knuckles feel a little numb. "Healed?"

"Yeah." Steve's grin tells Danny he knows exactly why Danny is stuck on that word. "Why? Were you worried about it?"

"Healed?" Danny repeats. "You're sure about that?"

Steve nods. "You could do whatever you want to it," he says, the words slow and deep, a little breathless, and oh, yeah, he definitely knows what Danny's thinking. Or has enough idea about it that Steve's dick is getting hard already--Danny can see it under the towel slung low across Steve's hips.

Danny swallows carefully. "Maybe I'd better check more closely," he says, moving forward slowly, dipping his fingers into the tight space between the towel and Steve's skin to loosen the towel and drop it to the floor.

"I wasn't quite dry," Steve says, his voice making it sound more like an invitation than a complaint. Danny takes it as an invitation, picking the towel up and turning Steve around, carefully drying his back, leaving the tattoo for last, gentle, careful swipes over the ink, appreciating the brightness of it next to the stark, white towel.

That need to taste, never far from the surface, is almost overwhelming, and Danny needs to get Steve horizontal and himself on a flat surface where he doesn't have to worry about his knees giving out. "Bed," Danny says, pushing Steve toward the door.

"But I'm not tired."

Steve's tone is mocking--he's amused, the bastard--and Danny smacks him hard, right on the swell of his ass. He doesn't miss the way Steve's dick jumps at that, and the sudden flush that makes its way up Steve's body, and hey, look at that , something new and different he didn't know about Steve that they'll definitely have to explore one day soon.

But not today.

He pushes Steve onto the bed, taking a moment to appreciate the sight. Steve, all naked, toned six feet of Steve, spread out on the bed, face down, looking at Danny like whatever Danny's ready to do to him, he's more than okay with it. Looking forward to it, in fact, if the way his breathing is moving his whole body is any indication.

Danny wrangles a lid on his impatience. He's been waiting for this. He's not about to rush it now. He reaches down into the nightstand for lube and a condom, dropping both on the bed beside Steve, right in his line of sight.

Danny gets one knee on the bed before Steve reaches out, picks up the condom, and tosses it across the room. The look he gives Danny is challenging and turned on, all at the same time, and sure, of course, leave it to the master of not making mutual decisions to throw that one away--literally.

Not that Danny is complaining. It's not as though they don't both know they're safe--they've talked about it. It's more the way it smacks of some kind of commitment. Danny knows from almost a decade of marriage that sex is better with nothing between you. But the intimacy of that makes his heart beat a little faster just at the thought.

He takes a deep breath as his second knee hits the bed, settling himself in between Steve's spread legs. Danny runs his hands up Steve's thighs, grounding himself in the reality of the feel of Steve's skin--warm, rough with hair that gets finer and more sparse as Danny's hands move higher, a scar just under Steve's right cheek distracting Danny as it always does, inviting him to run a finger along the length of it.

The first time he saw that scar he fantasized about what it would taste like for months.

His hands glide across Steve's ass, tracing the lines of the tattoo from where it starts, far below where anyone but Danny gets to see. The colors are amazing up close, smooth and unbroken, like it had been painted on, not forcibly injected into the skin.

Danny licks at the lowest line, following it down, stopping just at the edge of Steve's ass, earning him strangled sort of gasp from Steve. He glanced up to see Steve's head turned, his cheek flat against the bed. Danny follows Steve's line of sight to the mirror over the dresser, Steve's eyes dark and hot as they watch Danny's reflection.

His dick jumps at the look in Steve's eyes, but Danny isn't going to be rushed. He leans down, his tongue dragging across the line of ink. It tastes every bit as good as expected--salt and skin and Steve, a taste that's been an addiction since that first time they ended up in bed together.

He explores every inch thoroughly before his tongue strays back down to the middle of Steve's ass, hands pushing to expose Steve's hole as Danny's tongue slides down to tease around the edges of it.

Steve hisses and bucks, pushing his ass back against Danny's face. Danny pushes back--he's not going to be rushed at this, either. He waits for Steve to settle before going back to work, tongue teasing now, wrangling such incredible noises out of Steve that he doesn't want to stop. Ever.

Danny pushes his tongue in further, having to hold tight to Steve's ass to keep him spread open, as Steve's ass clinches as he gasps. It reminds Danny of when the needle hit certain spots while Steve was getting his tattoo, and he has to pause to catch his breath before his tongue delves back in again.

Steve's hips are moving as much as Danny's hands allow by the time Danny reaches under with one hand, cradling Steve's balls. The move gets Steve's hips up, his ass opening further as Danny uses his other hand to slide one finger slowly inside, his tongue still teasing around the edge as he opens Steve up.

"Danny...fuck....please...."

Steve sounds utterly wrecked, his voice breaking, and it sends a jolt through Danny's dick. Its patience is running thin, so he reaches for the lube, opening Steve up quickly, coating himself so he can press inside as fast as Steve's body will allow.

The sight of his dick disappearing into that ass, surrounded by that art, has haunted Danny's dreams for too many nights. The reality of it is like a tiny nuclear explosion deep in his stomach, one that spreads out through his body until he's sure he's going to catch the bed on fire.

Steve's already on fire, hot and amazing around Danny and under him, the muscles of his flanks moving under Danny's hands, despite Danny's grip being tight enough that he swears there'll be bruises tomorrow.

The idea fans the flames throughout his body--finger-shaped purple bruises are the perfect final touches for Steve's new art. Maybe when Steve goes in to get the next bit done, Danny can talk him into having them permanently tattooed, too.

The idea gets him close to the edge, and he reaches around and circles Steve's dick with one hand, the other one still gripping Steve somewhere around his hip, or possibly his thigh, Danny's no longer sure. He's not the only one who's close; Steve is making those sounds that make Danny have to adjust his pants when he remembers them in the middle of the day.

Danny strokes Steve harder as he pushes in and out, faster and faster, determined to get Steve off first. He gets his wish as Steve's back arches, giving Danny the best possible view of that tattoo in action, Steve's dick coating Danny's hand.

Danny pulls out as Steve falls onto the bed, using his sticky wet hand to bring himself off, something far more satisfying about watching himself come all over that tattoo than he's completely comfortable with.

Sometimes it's better not to know too much about your real self.

His thighs give in, and he collapses, half on Steve, half on the bed, breathing so hard he thinks he might be moving the bed. Or maybe they both are; he's not even sure whose lungs are whose at the moment.

The bed finally stops moving, and Danny figures they both have their lungs back, so he tries his voice. "Why'd you get the tattoo?" he asks, and yeah, his voice sounds a little like he ran it through a grater, but it's there.

He's asked Steve a few times, and he gets the same shrug he has every other time, but he's not going to be put off anymore. "Why now?" he pushes.

Steve takes a deep breath before answering. "Because I'm learning to do what I want for myself," he says finally. "And not worry about what anybody else thinks or says."

Danny's read the Navy regulations on tattoos, and it doesn't take too much brain power to extrapolate that tattoos aren't the only things the Navy has ridiculous rules about that have dictated pretty much all of Steve's life. And they're not the only rules he's bucked in the past few months.

"Glad to hear it," Danny says, settling in a little more comfortably against Steve, his nose pressed into Steve's shoulder as he closes his eyes.

----
END

fic: Oblivion (7/?) (H50 Season 5 Coda Series)

stellarmeadow — Mon, 10 Nov 2014 05:18:29 GMT

Title: Oblivion
Author: stellarmeadow
Fandom: Hawaii Five-0
Paring: Steve/Danny
Rating: NC17
Summary: Season 5 coda series - think of it as Season 5 canon with a twist....
Notes: Chapter 7 - coda for ep 507. Missed previous chapters? Read them here:

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6

He knew.

Even before the phone call, Danny knew. But the moment he answered, when he heard "Commander McGarrett," he definitely knew.

Steve never missed a crime scene. And Danny rarely ever beat him to one, let alone had to go in before he could get there. He'd managed to block it out until the job was done, but when he'd answered the phone, he knew.

His brain had some excellent self-defense mechanisms, though, and he'd managed to convince himself that it was just an anomaly. Knowing Steve he'd stumbled over a crime or something else ridiculous.

Even when he'd seen the blood, Danny had thought maybe Steve had just been randomly injured. He was Super SEAL, after all--a three inch gash in the arm to him was a paper cut by anyone else's standards.

Tire marks. Of all things it had been tire marks that had forced his brain to believe what he didn't really even want to consider.

Steve had been kidnapped.

For all the people that they'd pissed off over the years, the list of people with the resources, knowledge and skill to actually kidnap Steve McGarrett was relatively small.

And one person was at the top of the list.

He'd done it before, in fact, and Danny only hoped that this time around Steve was at least still on the island. Not having to rescue him from enemy territory would be an improvement at this point. The idea that they wouldn't rescue him wasn't something Danny would even consider. He'd lost too much already.

He wasn't losing the closest family he had left.

Dangerous path, those thoughts, and he shut them off before they could overwhelm him. Consume him, like a fire that left nothing but charred remains in its wake. Some days his brain still felt like that--scarred, burnt out wood, black and brittle and ready to crumble at the first touch.

But he wasn't going to lose anyone. They'd find Steve. The guy would survive at the center of a nuclear blast. Maybe he had. Maybe that was why he was so strong, he'd soaked in all that radiation and become some mutant human. Danny knew that was a crazy thought, that the mere idea was nuts, but really.

It was Steve.

Fuck.

It was Steve. Missing. Kidnapped. God knew where going through God knew what.

Danny should have picked him up. They hadn't been carpooling--Steve's word, Danny referred to it more often as 'treating me like your personal driver'--as much since Danny had returned from Jersey. Danny needed some space and for once Steve was respecting that. If Danny had been there, though, Steve might have been safe instead of kidnapped.

"Danny?"

Kono's voice was soft, but urgent. He looked up from where he'd been staring at nothing on his desk. "Yeah?"

"We might have something on a traffic cam. Wanna see?"

"Yeah."

They were looking at a tenuous--and that was being generous--link when Adam came through the door with a solid lead. Anthony Shu and his huge dry cleaning facility.

Given the size of most dry cleaners Danny had seen, twelve thousand square feet seemed like it left a lot of room for a lot of things that had nothing to do with dry cleaning, and more to do with things like laundering money instead of fabric.

It also left plenty of room to house a kidnapped cop.

"Let's go," Danny said, heading for the door.

The lights and sirens were on and the Camaro's gas pedal was to the floor, but it still felt like an eternity before they made the relatively short drive over to Makaloa. The dry cleaner was about halfway down the small stretch of road, and Danny wasted no time in getting out of the car, motioning for the team to follow.

None of the workers challenged them as they moved quickly through the legitimate side of the business. It wasn't until they reached the back of the building that someone tried to stop them.

The jolt of pain through Danny's fist when he punched the guy out was more satisfying than it probably should have been.

The real challenges came when they got through the door. Danny pushed on, not really caring who got in the way. The familiar scenario of stairs and a gunfight to get down them lay in the back of his head, in that dark space where the voice lived that told him Steve was as dead as Matt.

He refused to give in to that voice. This was Steve, who'd survived kidnap and torture by Wo Fat once already, who'd barely escaped from the Taliban with his head still attached to his shoulders. For all that shitty things happened to Steve, he seemed to be charmed when it came to getting out of impossible situations with his life.

He was alive; Danny just had to find him. They were clearing rooms as fast as they could, taking down various people who were foolish enough to try to stop them as they went. The rooms were normal enough for a place like that, until Danny opened the door on a room with no windows, and no furniture, nothing but white walls, floors and ceilings.

He'd heard about rooms like this, and didn't like to think what this one was for, not if Steve was--

An object on the floor caught his eye, and Danny bent down to pick it up. A white tank top, the same brand Steve wore--Danny had seen them in his desk, had been with him when he'd bought some more than once.

It didn't mean anything--they were popular on the islands. It could belong to anyone. Just because it was Steve's size didn't mean shit.

But that buzz that he'd had since they'd gotten down the stairs, the one he couldn't explain, told him this was Steve's, and that he was close.

He went back into the hall, not quite meeting anyone's eyes as they moved on to the next room. Eight rooms later, Danny opened a door to a sight right out of his nightmares. Steve lay on the floor, unmoving, a gun halfway out of his outstretched hand.

Danny spared a glance for Wo Fat, finally where he belonged--on the ground with a bullet in his head --but his real attention was on Steve, so still and unmoving.

"Steve," he said carefully, waiting for Steve to move. A twitch, a cough, anything--some sign that he was alive.

The bastard remained totally still.

Danny moved faster once he passed Wo Fat--the team would make sure there weren't any other threats, but Danny needed to get to Steve. He knelt down, touching Steve, something unclenching in his heart just a little as Steve started and sat up.

***

Steve jolted awake, every muscle aching as it tensed up to continue the battle. Instead of punches or needles or cattle prods, however, it was a pair of friendly hands that woke him. Cops, he realized, from HPD. Captain Kelly and Danno, right, he knew them. They worked with his father.

"Where's my father?" Steve asked. His dad should've been there, leading the charge to find him. "I wanna see my dad."

Their expressions worried him. Had his father's injuries held some hidden problem? Had something else happened? Everything was so fuzzy, it was hard to remember exactly what had happened.

After a moment, Danno said, quietly, "Buddy, your dad died four years ago, okay?"

The words made no sense. He'd just seen his dad, he'd just been with him on the beach behind the house not long before. How could his dad have died four years ago?

But if he'd just been with his father, how was he here? And why was he wrung out, feeling like he'd gone twenty rounds with a wild boar?

Memories flooded back, fractured images all out of order, but enough that he pieced together reality. Right, Hesse killed his father. This was his task force come to save him. His team, his ohana.

"Yeah," Steve said, to let Danny know he remembered. But he remembered too well, and it was like it was all happening all over, and all at once, like getting his dad back and losing him again, and he couldn't stop the tears, no matter how fast he tried to put a lid on his emotions.

He grounded himself in the feel of Danny's hand on his neck, in the solid reality of Danny's warmth at his side, in Chin's presence close on his left and in Kono watching carefully from just behind Danny.

Steve grit his teeth. "Let's go," he said, letting Danny and Chin help him up. He couldn't leave, though, not without stopping to commit the scene to memory, to add that solid image of Wo Fat, finally out of his life, finally unable to cause him or anyone he cared about more pain.

Steve tried to picture his mother holding Wo Fat as a baby. He tried to imagine her, arms outstretched, as a tiny version of Wo Fat ran to her. Pictured her leaving Wo Fat, the same way she'd left Steve, Mary and their father.

So much pain and suffering that could have been averted if only once she'd chosen to stay instead of running and hiding, following orders, and leaving a trail of destruction in her wake.

He didn't regret his choice today. Letting Wo Fat live was not an option.

He just wondered if his mother ever regretted any of hers.

***

He didn't argue when Danny and Chin led him straight to the ambulance. The bright flashing lights hurt his head, and he needed the support of Danny and Chin a lot more than he'd liked just to stand, let alone walk.

The stretcher they put him on actually felt good, soft surface and clean, cool sheets against his skin, such a stark contrast to the last few hours. Or however long it had been--time was still this weird, fluid thing where one minute he was in reality, Danny by his side, his hand on Steve somewhere constantly, despite the EMTs fussing around him. The next he was back in some alternate world where his dad was alive.

Fuck. His dad was dead.

Steve tightened his mouth and swallowed down the wave of feelings that threatened to escape. He'd learned to live with that once. He could do it again. He just needed to be stronger.

Steve focused on the feel of Danny's hand, on the right side of Steve's head now, to stay out of the way of the EMTs, Steve assumed. He opened his eyes and looked up to see Danny's face, upside down, concern quickly hidden behind a crooked smile. "How you feeling?" Danny asked.

Like shit. Everything hurt, from his head to his toes, and twice as bad in between. He was going to be rubbing burn cream into at least six places on his torso for a week, and the side of his head that Danny wasn't touching felt like it was on fire. "I'm okay."

Danny's laugh had a hint of something other than amusement behind it. "You're okay?" He shook his head. "You're starting to grow actual gills," he said, waving at the left side of Steve's head. "You're okay. Right."

The mention of gills brought back a vivid wave of sensation of a cloth over his face, and water, and Steve closed his eyes, but it didn't stop. Water everywhere, pouring down his throat, he couldn't stop it, there was nothing he could do, he was going to choke to death on it, and he couldn't--

He couldn't stop the coughing fit, no matter how much it made his back feel like it was being pounded by tiny nails all over. Strong hands held him down, keeping him from sitting up, not Danny's hands, though, because Danny's were on Steve's head and face.

"Steve," Danny said, his voice a near whisper, and Steve opened his eyes, seeing Danny's pinched, drawn expression. "Hey," Danny said, his voice still quiet, somehow making it noticeable among all the noises around them. "You're all right."

Steve swallowed hard. "Yeah. I'm all right."

If he said it enough, maybe it would be true.

The stretcher moved, and Danny's hands let go of Steve. He tried to twist around to see where Danny went. "Danny?"

"I'm here," Danny said, as the stretcher bumped and lifted, and Steve saw the inside of the ambulance. But Steve couldn't see him, and he looked around, his heart beating wildly, until he felt Danny's hand take his, and Steve's eyes traveled quickly up his arm to his face.

Steve fought to control his breathing. "Stay?"

"Not going anywhere." He gave Steve some pale imitation of his normal cocky smile. "Grover's been itching to drive my car, now he gets his wish."

The words didn't quite make sense, but Danny was there, and Steve could feel and see him, he wasn't going to vanish into thin air and be nothing but a figment of Steve's imagination and Wo Fat's drugs, and Steve closed his eyes, holding tight to Danny's hand as he breathed.

***

The hospital wanted him to stay.

Steve was adamant about all the ways that was not happening before the doctor had even gotten the words out. He didn't give a fuck about dehydration or a head wound or whatever--he was not staying trapped in a confined bed with IVs sticking in him. Not after today. He'd sneak out if they didn't let him go.

He was tensing up for another fight he wasn't ready for when Danny's grip tightened on his hand. "Can he go home if someone stays with him?"

Danny, usually the advocate for listening to the doctors, helping--that was new. It made Steve wonder if he was still in that hellhole, drugged up to his hair and at Wo Fat's mercy. Was Wo Fat's death and Steve's rescue just another reality he'd dreamed up, one that was a little more realistic, and therefore his brain accepted more readily? Was Danny's support just a hint from his brain, a way of it telling him this wasn't real and he needed to wake up before he couldn't anymore?

No. This was real life. He took a deep breath, the sharp smell of antiseptic and the other unmistakable odors of hospital combining with the feel of Danny's hand in his, warm and callused, feeling almost a part of him, he'd been holding on so long, too real to be in his head. This was real. This was home.

"Hey," Danny said, his voice in that careful near whisper he'd been using every time Steve had tuned back in throughout this whole mess. "I need my hand back, okay? Just for a minute, to go talk to the doctor. I'll be right over there," he nodded to the other side of the bed. "Okay?"

Steve blinked, the words not making sense. "Huh?"

Danny squeezed his hand. "You've got a hell of a grip, partner."

"Oh." Steve let go, fighting the rising tide of panic as Danny's hand slipped out of his. He flexed his hand, feeling the cramping ease, wondering just how long and how tight he'd been holding on. He knew it hadn't been the whole time--Danny's hand had been warm on his head as they'd cleaned Steve up and stitched up and tended various wounds. But he'd still been holding on a while. Or maybe it was just the tightness that made it cramp like that.

His eyes followed Danny as he went over to the doctor, speaking so low that Steve couldn't catch a single word. He could tell, though, that the doctor didn't like what Danny was saying, but after a few seconds, the doctor nodded. Danny smiled and said something else before coming back to sit beside Steve as the doctor left the room.

Steve breathed easier when Danny's hand was back in his, which in itself felt almost like a different reality. He wasn't exactly the hand holding type, but it wasn't that kind of PDA that the Navy drilled out of them early on. It was different somehow.

When he was little, he'd brought a balloon back from a birthday party, bright blue, almost disappearing against the sky because of the color. He'd held onto the string all the way home, into the house, carried it out back to sit and watch it dance against the waves and sky, the play of colors mesmerizing.

He'd dozed just enough to let the string slip from his fingers and just like that it was gone, beautiful as it disappeared into the sky, but gone all the same. His first lesson in loss, but far from the last.

He squeezed Danny's hand. "Can I go home?"

Danny nodded. "The doc and I made a deal. You can go, provided you listen to every word I say and do everything I tell you. And if you show any signs of problems, we come back." Danny's eyes were serious. "Deal?"

Steve nodded. He'd have agreed to a lot more just to get out of this place, to go home. "Deal."

"Good." Danny's smile still seemed a little off, but at least it was a smile. "He's getting the paperwork. Let's get you into some scrubs so I don't have to arrest you for public indecency when we walk out of here, okay?"

***

The team was waiting when Danny wheeled Steve out in a wheelchair, the scene so reminiscent of the day of the drone attack that he had to wonder again if he was dreaming, if his mind was pulling up happier memories to comfort him because he was still trapped in hell.

And if he was, what did it say that the memory of being shot in the leg was a happier one?

Danny's hand was on his shoulder as he wheeled Steve out, the team making jokes for all that he could feel the combination of desperation and relief behind the laughter. Desperation that hadn't yet quite left them from the search, and relief that was over. At least for them.

Seeing the people he loved, those he'd chosen as family, was soothing, and jarring all at once. The slightly forced laughter felt wrong, another dreamlike moment that caused him to question if he was awake. He focused on Danny's hand, on his presence behind him, real and solid and true.

Adrenaline had left him, and the hospital had been reluctant to give him anything beyond ibuprofen for pain when the ER tox screen hadn't been able to identify half the drugs already in his system. His body registered how totally pissed off it was at him as he lowered himself into the car with Danny's help.

The pain was welcome, though. It reminded him this was real, that he was awake, because even his brain couldn't be so fucked up that this would be a dream he'd conjure up to keep himself from going crazy.

He dozed on the drive home, Danny close enough that, even though they weren't touching all the time, he still managed to keep Steve grounded in reality. His hands were still better, though, a direct link, like a tangible connection to the real world, as Danny helped him into the house and up the stairs.

Steve couldn't even look out behind the house yet, the memory--or faked memory, dream, whatever it was supposed to be called--of sitting out there with his father still too real, too raw, to be able to reconcile the view with what was in his head. Even in the dark, he didn't want to see it. Not yet.

He took in all the changes to the house, though, the difference in his room, from what it was like four years ago when he'd come home, studied them with a sharp eye looking for anything that might be off. But it was all where it was supposed to be.

"You want anything to eat before you pass out?" Danny asked.

Steve shook his head. The idea of swallowing food, let alone having it sit in his stomach, was too much to consider. "I want a shower."

He was prepared for a fight, but Danny just nodded. "Can you manage yourself?"

Steve thought for a second, then nodded. "If you help with these." He waved a hand at the scrubs--he wasn't sure he'd be able to get his arms up high enough to get the top off without some help.

Danny stripped him with quick efficiency, and helped Steve into the bathroom, turning on the water and testing the temperature before helping Steve into the shower. "I'll be in the other room," Danny said, starting to go.

Steve's chest tightened, and he swallowed against the rise of panic in his throat. "Danny." When Danny turned, one eyebrow raised, Steve nodded at the toilet. "Can you...." Steve cleared his throat. "Can you stay?"

Danny nodded, closing the lid on the toilet and sitting down. "I'll be here if you need anything."

Steve breathed a little easier as he slid the shower door closed. He could see Danny, more shape and color than anything clear, but still, he knew it was Danny, and that was enough. He let the hot water take a little of the ache out of his shoulders and back, and tried to minimize its sting on the burns on his torso.

When he felt like he'd washed the combined smell of the battle and the ER off his body, he stepped out to find Danny standing there with a towel. He dried Steve carefully, hands gentle, especially on the wounds and burns, before helping Steve out to the bedroom.

Steve stood by the bed, the last of his energy gone, leaving everything fuzzy and dreamlike--an unpleasant feeling given everything that had happened that day. Danny helped him into a pair of boxers, then looked up at him, as if judging the need to go back to the hospital.

"You want anything else to sleep in?"

Steve shook his head. He didn't want anything more constricting him, not tonight. He pushed the covers and sheets down on the bed, would have fallen onto the bed without Danny's hands to help him lower himself into it with a little less impact and jarring to his already aching body.

When Danny started to pull the sheets up, Steve pushed them down with his feet. "I don't...." He took a deep breath, scrunching his eyes closed. "It's just...."

"Hey." That careful whisper was back, and Steve opened his eyes, just able to make out Danny's face in the moonlight. "It's okay. I get it."

Steve nodded, grateful. "Can you stay?"

"Can I stay? Try and get rid of me," Danny teased. "I promised the doctor I'd keep an eye on you, didn't I?"

His tone was almost right, and Steve took comfort in the brief semblance of normalcy. "So I'm stuck with you?" Steve said.

"Afraid so. But I do need a shower," Danny said. "You gonna be okay for two minutes?"

Steve nodded, even though the thought of Danny leaving the room, of having nothing there to anchor him in reality, made his heart beat faster. Apparently he didn't hide it well enough, though, because Danny said, "Minute and a half, tops. Okay?"

With another nod, Steve watched as Danny stripped off his clothes, dumping them in the floor before disappearing into the bathroom. Steve used the sounds to keep him grounded--the water, the shower door, the change in patterns of the water hitting things as Danny moved in and out of it until it shut off, and the door slid again.

Then Danny was back in sight, and Steve let out a breath, watching as Danny stole a pair of Steve's boxers from the drawer and sat down on the bed next to Steve. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Steve said. "I know I don't have a TV in here, but...." He didn't know how to ask, didn't have the words, but he patted the space next to him on the bed.

"Yeah, of course." Danny laid down beside him, so close Steve could smell him and feel him, alive and warm beside him, so real it blocked out any possibility that it was a dream. Steve still needed more to ground him, though, reaching out to place a hand on Danny's chest, feeling his heartbeat faint beneath the hair and skin.

He realized that, despite having had sex more than once, he and Danny had never actually slept together, and now Steve wondered why. Because the heat of Danny, the soft breaths as he settled in, the rise and fall of his chest under Steve's hand, were a better lullaby than the ocean.

***

Steve's head snapped up, and he looked around, taking in the ugly green walls and dim light. No, this wasn't right, he'd been rescued from this place, he couldn't be here, couldn't be--

The door opened, Wo Fat stepping inside, his companion right behind him. "Good," Wo Fat said. "You're awake."

"You're dead," Steve said. "You're dead."

Wo Fat laughed. "You'd have to get free to make good on that threat," he said, crossing the room until he was out of Steve's line of sight. Everything went fuzzy for a moment, and when it snapped back into clarity, he was standing, his arms locked behind his back, and his feet shackled. There was a collar around his neck with a lead, and Wo Fat was pulling him along, the woman next to Steve, watching him closely.

"Where are we going?" Steve asked.

"You'll see."

They were suddenly in a loading dock, and Steve frowned, unable to remember how they got there. The light of daybreak was still bright compared to the room where Steve had been kept, and he squinted into it, making out the shape of a box truck. Wo Fat led him into it, locking Steve into a chair in the middle of the back of the truck.

Only it wasn't a regular box truck, Steve realized. The sides were all plexiglass or something like it, making the world visible to Steve, and Steve visible to the world. It wasn't exactly a secretive way to move Steve, but he didn't question his luck, as Wo Fat closed and locked the back door. Someone would surely see him and he'd be rescued.

The streets were relatively empty, though, and the few people here and there didn't seem to notice the strange truck at all, didn't see someone locked in the back. He yelled, but it did no good, no one heard him.

They were in Waikiki suddenly, driving down Kalakaua, near the zoo. Steve saw a family on the beach, realized it was Chin and Malia and two toddlers, laughing as Kono jumped up, her pink bikini painfully bright, grabbed her board and ran out to the surf.

He yelled again, but they didn't notice, and the truck drove on by, only to stop at a stoplight where a couple waited to cross. Steve looked closer, realizing it was Danny and Rachel, too caught up in their own laughter and kisses to notice the light had changed.

Steve yelled louder, but it did nothing, and they looked up and saw the light, and started to cross the road, walking away.

"Danny! Danny! Come back!"

Steve sat up in the bed, feeling strong hands on both his arms, as if trying to contain him. He fought against it until the urgent whisper finally reached his brain. "You're okay, you're home, stop fighting me," Danny said. "Come on, Steve. Calm down."

Danny. Right. Steve stopped fighting. He was home, he was safe there with Danny. And Wo Fat was dead.

And so was Dad.

He couldn't stop the tears then, the ones he'd held in since Danny had reminded him his dad had died. He felt the world tilt sideways and realized that Danny was pulling him back down onto the bed, into his arms, while Steve couldn't help crying, even as he knew he was probably soaking Danny's chest.

His dad was dead, long gone and buried, Steve remembered it in full detail, from the crack of the gun over the phone to the crack of the salutes at the funeral, each one straightening his spine and shoring up his strength at the time, but gutting him further now with the memory of every single shot.

His dad was dead.

And his mother was running--would probably never come back, not if she thought Steve knew the truth now. He thought maybe it was better if she didn't. He wasn't sure he wanted to know why she'd made the choices she'd made. Or whether or not she regretted them.

Maybe it was better just not to know.

He needed to stop. Crying wasn't helping, and he knew it was worrying Danny, who almost never saw him cry. He'd mocked him once about it, years ago, halfway through a fifth of whiskey they were sharing late one night, about being a robot with defective tear ducts. At the time, Steve had been proud of his strength.

Now he just marveled at his own ability to shove things down and not deal with them. He almost wished for it again, wished he didn't have to feel this pain that was like something splitting him in two, but at the same time he felt a little like the tears were washing some of the pain away.

He sniffed, wiping his eyes and rolling onto his back. He felt Danny moving, and a moment later a wad of tissues appeared in front of Steve's face.

Steve took them and blew his nose, tossing them onto the other nightstand to deal with later. He lay there in silence for a minute or two, getting his breathing back under control and trying to stuff what was left of his guts back inside his body.

He felt Danny move again and opened his eyes to see Danny propped up on an elbow beside him, face half shadowed, half open in the moonlight. "You okay?" he asked in that whisper.

Steve took a deep breath and blew it out slowly, deliberately. "No." Because Danny deserved honesty after all this. "But I will be."

"Think you can get back to sleep?" Danny asked. When Steve didn't answer right away, Danny said, "I know it's tough, with....everything all jumbled around up here," he tapped the side of his head, his eyes somewhere around Steve's navel, "but it'll help you deal if you can sleep."

"Yeah," Steve said. "I need to at least try."

"Good."

Danny lay down on his back, his arm touching Steve's as they laid there and breathed. Steve realized now why Danny had fought for him to leave the hospital. It wasn't just being trapped there with IVs and memories.

He'd known what the night would be like.

He knew the kinds of demons that attacked in your sleep after something like this, knew Steve would do better with someone there to fight off the nightmares, and like the world's best partner, had been there to have his back.

But who'd done that for Danny?

Steve's tears threatened to start again at the thought of Danny waking up like that alone after Matt. But tears wouldn't help anyone on that front. And Danny had pulled away, hadn't wanted anyone around, preferring to lick his wounds alone.

Steve had always been the same, before he'd come back and settled into his old home and made a new family, before he'd actually started to deal with some of the loss in his life. Even tonight he'd probably have preferred it if he hadn't been so terrified that he'd lose himself to that bizarre other world he'd dreamed up without Danny to anchor him.

He was glad now, though, that he'd needed that, glad that Danny was here. For both their sakes.

"Hey, Danno," Steve said, matching that whisper Danny had been using on him, "thanks."

He could feel how shaky the breath was that Danny drew in. "When I went into that room," he said slowly, "I thought...."

He didn't have to finish the sentence. Steve knew what he'd thought--he'd thought he would find Steve as dead as Matt. And Steve had seen the bullet graze on his head--he knew how close that had come to being the truth.

"I know," Steve whispered. "But you didn't. And I'm not."

So much pain and loss, for both of them. How much more did they have to suffer? But he didn't ask that question, didn't even say anything else. He just rolled over, pulling Danny close, and holding on until morning.

***
Chapter 8

fic: Oblivion (6/?) (H50 Season 5 Coda Series)

stellarmeadow — Sun, 02 Nov 2014 18:33:27 GMT

fic: Oblivion (5/?) (H50 Season 5 Coda Series)

stellarmeadow — Mon, 27 Oct 2014 03:27:00 GMT

vid: Til the End

stellarmeadow — Tue, 21 Oct 2014 02:27:14 GMT

Music video about Danny and Matt Williams to Remy Zero's 'Til the End'

fic: Oblivion (4/?) (H50 Season 5 Coda Series)

stellarmeadow — Sun, 19 Oct 2014 01:12:02 GMT

fic: Oblivion (3/?)

stellarmeadow — Sun, 12 Oct 2014 19:30:22 GMT

fic: Oblivion (2/?)

stellarmeadow — Sun, 12 Oct 2014 19:25:35 GMT

Title: Oblivion
Author: stellarmeadow
Fandom: Hawaii Five-0
Paring: Steve/Danny
Rating: NC17
Summary: Season 5 coda series - think of it as Season 5 canon with a twist....
Notes: Chapter 2 - coda for ep 502. Missed the first chapter? Read it here.

Danny watched, helpless, as Reyes got into his lawyer's car and they drove off. The smug fucker just casually mentioned he had Matt and then drove off, like Danny couldn't find him and put a bullet in his head if he wanted.

Except then he wouldn't find Matt.

Assuming the asshole actually had him and wasn't just bluffing. Hell, this was Matt. For all Danny knew, Matt could be working with the guy and hoping Danny would just track down a pile of money for both of them.

The fact that he even had to consider that as a possibility made Danny's stomach threaten to return what little was left of his dinner. He needed to find out if there had been any sightings of Matt, if there was any way this might be true. And he needed a plan.

And someone to keep him from tracking down Reyes and making the stunt with Bastille on the hood of Danny's Camaro look like child's play.

He got into his car and made a straight line for Steve's.

Steve was on the couch when Danny walked in. He looked up, frowning, as Danny walked over to the edge of the coffee table, and just stared at him. "What happened?" Steve asked, frown turning to worry, as Steve put his beer on the table and leaned forward. "Did something happen with Grace?"

"No, she's fine," Danny said, "though I sent a patrol car over to keep an eye on Rachel's place tonight, just in case."

"Reyes?" Steve asked.

Danny nodded. "Bail came through, and I was there when he got out." The scene played through his mind again, anger flowing through him once more.

"Danny?"

"Sorry. He..." Danny took a deep breath. "He says he has Matt. And that I'll never see him if I don't find that eighteen and a half million."

Steve opened his mouth, then closed it again for a brief second before speaking. "Are you sure he has Matt?"

The question was too careful, and Danny got the meaning just fine. "No, I'm not sure, and no, I'm not sure Matt isn't working with him, either."

"I didn't say--"

"You didn't have to. And it had already crossed my mind." The half laugh that forced its way out of Danny's throat hurt as he dropped down onto the couch. "How's that for a big brother, huh?" he said, picking up Steve's beer and downing it. "I'm sitting here wondering if my brother's life is in danger, or if he's colluding with the major criminal who's telling me it is."

He knew that particular tone of Steve's heavy sigh, even before he felt Steve's hand on his shoulder. "Does it matter either way?"

There was that laugh again, cutting at Danny's throat. "No. I gotta do what I gotta do, right?" He lifted his head to meet Steve's eyes, feeling a little better knowing he wasn't alone. "I need to find out first, though, if Reyes might really have him--whether he's there by choice or not--before I decide what to do next."

"Give me a few minutes," Steve said, getting up and pulling out his phone. "Let me make a couple of calls."

He gave Danny's shoulder one last squeeze before going out on to the lanai. Danny sat there drinking the beer and watching the baseball game Steve had left on the TV, focusing on the motion and the monotonous commentary without having a single clue what was going on by the time Steve came back.

He'd brought the rest of the six pack, which he put on the table, pulling one out and popping off the lid before handing it to Danny.

"It must be bad if you're giving me another beer before the news."

Steve sat back down, his leg pressing against Danny's. "There isn't any news," Steve said. "But a couple of leads that might give us info. I should hear something tomorrow, or the day after at the latest."

"I don't know if I have that much time," Danny said, taking a long drink. "I don't know how long this guy is gonna wait."

"So we'll put him off."

Danny took another drink. "And what if we find out he really does have Matt?" Danny asked. "Where the hell am I supposed to find that much money?"

"Well, I doubt we can steal that drug bust money again...."

It was a terrible joke, but it made Danny laugh all the same. He sobered, though, as the reality hit him all over again. "What am I gonna do?" he asked, eyes on Steve's. "I mean, I know what he's done, but he's my little brother."

"I know." Steve's voice was soft, his hand resting on Danny's thigh, a warm, comforting presence. "We'll figure it out."

The weight of everything hit him--the whole mess with Matt, now the new mess, what he was going to tell his parents, the thought that Reyes might go after Grace if Danny didn't respond to the Matt threat. And that was one thing he didn't need to think about, Grace in danger, not after the last two cases.

He didn't want to think about it. Didn't want to think about anything. He looked up at Steve, who'd done such an excellent job of driving everything out of Danny's head the other night. The method was a surprise, but not a bad one. Sex was definitely better for dealing with shit than, say, rearranging Reyes' face, for example.

Steve licked his lips, and Danny leaned into him just a little. "There's nothing you can do about it tonight, though," Steve said, his voice hoarse.

"I know. Hurry up and wait--story of my fucking life when it comes to my brother lately."

"Danny...."

He shook his head. "You're right," he said. "There's nothing I can do but think up increasingly bad scenarios all night about what might happen."

"What good does that do?" Steve said.

"None." Danny leaned a little closer. "So stop me."

"What?"

"Stop me from thinking."

Something flared in Steve's eyes, his hand tightening on Danny's leg. One corner of Steve's mouth lifted just a fraction. "Did you have something in mind for that?"

Danny didn't bother with a verbal response, choosing instead to turn sideways, lifting one leg over both of Steve's to straddle Steve's lap in one fluid motion. He captured Steve's lips before Steve could get a word out, chasing the mindless pleasure he'd found there before with his tongue. His hands were doing the same, undoing both their flies.

Steve's hands were on Danny's ass, holding him up just enough for Danny to get their dicks out, his hand wrapping around both of them. Danny stroked a few times, but the friction was too much, so he had to let Steve's mouth go long enough to lick his own hand.

At the sweep of Danny's tongue over his hand, Steve's eyes went darker, flicking between Danny's hand and his mouth. Steve's eyes stayed on Danny's mouth as Danny dropped his hand, until Danny squeezed both of their dicks together again, stroking them hard and fast, chasing oblivion.

It was tough to lose his mind completely, though, with Steve staring at him. Danny couldn't tear his eyes away, watching as Steve lost his mind instead, bit by bit, usually laser-sharp eyes becoming unfocused and finally fluttering closed as Steve groaned and came all over Danny's hand.

The sheer power of pulling that reaction out of someone who could, if he chose, probably kill Danny with his pinky, was enough to get Danny over the edge, oblivion finally reaching his brain and blotting out everything else there but pleasure.

The problem with sex as a coping mechanism, though, was that you had to come down eventually. There were worse places to do it than safe in his partner's arms, Danny supposed, but returning awareness also came with the knowledge that he was sweaty, sticky and a little disgusting, also in his partner's arms.

Not that said partner seemed to mind. Danny's forehead was resting on Steve's shoulder, and one of Steve's hands was at the small of Danny's back, the other at the base of Danny's neck. It was comfortable.

Too comfortable.

Danny made himself move, sitting up to give Steve a smile. "I should probably get cleaned up."

Steve nodded. "Me, too."

Danny removed himself, taking a second to make sure his legs still worked before disappearing into the spare bathroom. He could hear the water running through the pipes to the bathroom in Steve's room, and made sure he was out into the living room before Steve, finishing the beer as Steve came back down the stairs.

"You want to stay and watch the rest of the game?" Steve asked.

Danny hesitated. He did. But he didn't. "I should go," he said. "I want to check in with the patrol car at Rachel's before I go home."

"Okay. Let me know if anything seems off. Or if there's anything else I can do."

Danny ducked his head and laughed. "I think I've asked enough of you for one night."

"No such thing," Steve said. "Call if you need me."

"I will. Thanks."

Steve just shrugged, like it was nothing. Because he was Steve. "Night, Danno."

"Night."

Danny left without looking back.

***

Chapter 3

Fic: Oblivion (1/?)

stellarmeadow — Sat, 27 Sep 2014 05:53:05 GMT

Title: Oblivion
Author: stellarmeadow
Fandom: Hawaii Five-0
Paring: Steve/Danny
Rating: NC17
Summary: Season 5 coda series - think of it as Season 5 canon with a twist....
Notes: I'm back! I learned my lesson with last year's series, so this year's series will be all contained in chapters in one story, instead of separate fics. Hopefully I can make it through the whole season with one series again! Thanks for all the kind words last season, and all the encouragement over the summer to do it again--hope you enjoy it just as much!

Steve made his way slowly through the yard to the chairs by the beach. Danny was already seated, looking far too still as he stared out at the moonlight dancing on the waves. Whether it was exhaustion or reaction to the case, Steve wasn't sure--probably both.

He sat down next to Danny, putting the six pack of Longboards on the table between them, pulling out one and taking the top off before handing it to Danny, who took it without looking. Steve opened one for himself, watching Danny's face, as still as the rest of him.

"You okay?" Steve asked finally.

Danny shrugged. Steve knew it was a stupid question--the case had ended up being easy enough to solve, but the memory of walking into the scene early that morning and seeing two little girls, one of them in Grace's class, dead and bloody and on display made Steve's stomach turn.

He knew it had to be a hundred times worse for Danny.

"At least we solved it quickly," Steve said.

"I hope that bastard rots in hell," Danny said, before taking a long draw off his beer. Steve had looked the other way when Danny had taken the guy out, and if he'd gotten an extra punch or two in, nobody would ever hear about it from Steve.

"He will," Steve said, because he believed it, even if Danny professed not to. And most prison inmates were notoriously tough on criminals who'd done anything even remotely like this guy. "And probably soon."

"Good."

Steve took a long drink, still watching Danny, searching for a way to distract Danny from the dark thoughts Steve could practically see going through his head. "Did you talk to Grace?"

Danny nodded. "She called from cheer camp a little bit ago," he said. "I'm supposed to call her in the morning before we go to that thing."

'That thing' being their joint therapy session, which Steve was not looking forward to. "I still don't see why we have to go," Steve said. "We've already done our individual reviews. Why do we have to go in together?"

"Maybe she realized that you need so, so much help," Danny said.

Something in the way he said it was a little off, but Steve couldn't put his finger on what. "If that's true, she must think it about both of us, because you're stuck with it too."

Danny muttered something that Steve couldn't hear. "What?" Steve asked. When he muttered it again, Steve twisted in his seat, leaning closer. "Sorry, what?"

"I said," Danny replied, louder and with a resigned tone that made Steve think he might not like the rest of it, "maybe she thinks you and I don't know how to communicate."

Steve played that back in his head, but no, still the same words. "And where might she have gotten that impression?" Steve asked. "We communicate just fine."

"Oh, we do?" Danny turned in his chair to mostly face Steve. "Really? We do? Because if that's true, when I say 'I'd like to drive my own car,' why is it you always hear 'Please, Steven, drive my car! I hate driving!'?"

Steve stared at him for a long moment. "Just what, exactly, did you tell her, Danny?"

"I might've mentioned that you were a little bit of a control freak."

"A little bit of a control freak?"

"Okay," Danny said, eyes dropping down to his beer. "A giant, overbearing control freak who runs roughshod over everyone and everything to get his own way?"

Steve stared some more. He opened his mouth, then closed it again before getting up and pacing across the sand a few times, stopping right in front of Danny. "You are aware that this woman holds the key to us keeping our jobs, right?"

"Yes."

"And you are aware that if she thinks we're not fit for duty, that means we have no jobs?"

Danny waved a hand dismissively. "It wouldn't come to that."

"It wouldn't? I know a couple of people formerly in the Navy who might say otherwise. Note that 'formerly' there, Danny."

"This isn't the Navy," Danny said. "A fact you seem to constantly forget."

"I--" Steve stood there with his mouth open for a few seconds. "I am well aware this isn't the Navy," he said finally. "If it was, you'd have been court-martialed for insubordination years ago."

Danny laughed. "No, see, I wouldn't have, because they'd have court-martialed you for it before they got to me."

"So what else did you tell this shrink?"

"Just that you don't listen."

Steve blinked at him. "I don't listen?"

"No, you don't listen, okay? You don't!"

"Danny, all I do is listen. All day, you talk, you bitch about everything, and I listen!"

Danny pushed up out of his seat, getting up in Steve's space. "You listen, huh? You're gonna go with that?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna go with that."

"Okay, then, explain to me why the other day I told you that Grace rode a purple elephant and did a triple backflip off it and you said 'cool.'"

"What? When the hell did you say that?"

Danny's grin was triumphant, and really annoying. "See? You don't listen!"

"Well, great, now I guess I'll have to listen because you've put us both in front of a shrink so I have no choice!"

"Good, then maybe some of what I say will get through that thick, GI Joe skull!"

The last words were punctuated with a finger jab to Steve's chest. He grabbed Danny's wrist instinctively, ready to take him down in a move reminiscent of their first day together. He stopped, though, holding Danny's wrist trapped against Steve's chest, staring down at Danny, who was right there, so close, and suddenly looking just like what Steve needed after the day he'd had.

The day they'd both had, he reminded himself, which was the only explanation for what happened next. Steve leaned down, taking Danny's mouth in a hard, driving kiss. After a moment of being completely frozen, Danny got on board, kissing him back, pulling his hand out from between them to wrap his arms around Steve and pull him closer.

Some part of Steve's brain piped up with a red flag warning, and he told it to fuck off. He was no stranger to this kind of reaction after a bad day on the job, and Danny didn't exactly seem like he was a stranger to it either, not by the way he was unzipping Steve's fly and pulling out his dick. Sometimes the job made you angry, and you channeled that anger in different ways.

This just happened to be a more pleasurable way than, say, breaking your hand on a brick wall.

Steve managed to get Danny's fly undone and his pants out of the way enough that his dick was free. He pulled Danny closer, their mouths still practically fused together, trying to get their hips to line up, but it was no use.

Horizontal his brain supplied. Yes, right, horizontal. That would solve the height thing. He dragged Danny down to the sand, somehow managing not to injure either of them or stop kissing. Because he was pretty sure one of them, at least, would come to his senses if they stopped kissing and this had gone too far to hit sanity until it was done.

They went down on their sides, but Steve rolled until Danny was under him, finally, lined up just right, their cocks bumping against each other as they moved their hips. They were in sync, as always, driving hard and fast towards a release that came much faster than part of Steve's brain he wasn't listening to would have liked.

He spared a moment to catch his breath before rolling onto his back, his arm pressed up against Danny's. The stars were bright, and he had a fleeting memory of lying out on this same beach every night for weeks after his mother died, staring at the same view.

But not quite like this.

Danny sat up, looking down at Steve, his face hidden in the shadows. "So, um...that was, uh...."

Steve propped himself up on his elbows, trying to pretend he was just relaxing, and that his ass wasn't buried naked in the sand, and his dick wasn't hanging out to dry. "It happens," he said, pausing to clear his throat. "Rough day, looking for some way to affirm life, all that."

"That's, uh, deep," Danny said, a hint of amusement in his voice. "Maybe you should lead our little couples therapy session tomorrow."

Steve laughed at the thought. "But that would mean I'd have to listen, right?"

Danny's laughter was quiet, and faded quickly. "I know you listen," he said softly. "When it's important."

The quiet sincerity warmed Steve's heart. "I do."

Danny sniffed. "Okay, I'm gonna, uh, go home," he said, standing up, doing up his pants. "Take a shower, dig sand out of places it has no business going, all that."

He didn't sound upset about it, but it was hitting Steve that Danny might not have the same perspective on it he did, and that he wasn't really sure where Danny and Amber stood these days, either. Steve jumped to his feet, grabbing Danny's arm as he turned to go. "We're okay, right?" Steve said.

"When aren't we?" Danny said, one eyebrow raised. "Despite your penchant for driving my car, ordering me around, taking over my life--"

"All right, I get it," Steve said with a laugh. "Save the rest for therapy."

"Yeah, though I think I'll leave this," he waved a hand at the beach, "out of it."

"Hey, look, you can learn!"

Danny smacked him on the arm. "I'll see you in the morning, asshole."

Steve watched him go, staring after him for a long time before picking up the beer and going into the house.

***

Steve tested the dressing on his leg, wondering if he could walk out of the hospital on his own. He'd walked around on much worse, after all. He put his feet down and stood, pleased to see that the dressing was wrapped tight enough to support the injured muscles, and it would hold his weight.

He wasn't sure how comfortable it would be when the painkillers wore off, but again, he'd dealt with worse.

"What the hell are you doing?" Danny asked as he walked through the curtain, letting it drop behind him.

"I'm standing here."

Danny took the few steps to the bed, half-pushing, half-supporting Steve as he lowered him back onto the bed. "You do realize that the doctor's last orders to you were, and I quote, 'Stay off that leg, Commander'?" Danny said. "I leave for five minutes to get your clothes and you're ready to do jumping jacks?"

"Danny, relax. I wasn't going to do jumping jacks. I was just seeing how tight the dressing was."

Danny rolled his eyes. "So you could do jumping jacks."

"I promise you, there will be no jumping jacks, all right?"

"Sure. Whatever." Danny tossed the bag onto the bed beside him. "Here. You're so healed, you can get yourself dressed, right?"

Steve pulled out his board shorts and a t-shirt that had been in the trunk of the Camaro, and were, mercifully, free of bullet holes. "Thanks."

He managed the t-shirt well enough, but when it was time to exchange the scrub pants for his shorts, he found it too hard to bend his leg up. "I think I need some help," he said, hating the words, but hating them a little less when he said them to Danny than just about anyone else.

"Wow, you mind if I record you saying that before I help?"

"Are you going to help me, or are you going to be an ass?"

Danny seemed to consider that for a moment. "I can't do both?"

"You excel at doing both."

"You're awfully mouthy for someone who wants my help," Danny said, but he was smiling, and he was already easing the scrubs over Steve's wound and down his legs. Steve had to bite his lip as Danny pulled the shorts up over his hips, Danny's wrist brushing Steve's dick as the fabric covered it, Danny's body so close Steve could smell him.

It wasn't a big deal. He'd enjoyed the night before--it had been a while since he'd any release that didn't involve his right hand. And after the day they'd had, he'd be up for it again, but he wasn't getting a sense that Danny would.

He'd really have to ask Danny about Amber some time, when the chance presented itself.

"There," Danny said, taking a step back from the bed as he cleared his throat. "You're ready to go. Unless you need to wait for the doctor?"

Steve shook his head. "Signed the release a few minutes ago," he said, holding up the papers.

"Let me guess. He also gave you some information on taking care of yourself that you're going to completely ignore."

"I've had gunshot wounds before, Danny. I know how to deal with them."

"Whatever." Danny took the papers, folding them up and stuffing them in his back pocket. Steve wondered idly if Danny would be over at his house later, reading the instructions out loud to get Steve to comply. "Let's go."

He ducked out of the curtain. Steve had taken three steps when Danny reappeared, pushing a wheelchair. "Oh, no," Steve said, holding up his hands. "I can walk."

"Either you get in this chair, or you stay here," Danny said.

As he was blocking Steve's exit, and could probably take Steve if he surprised him, given the injury, Steve thought he might be right. But he still hesitated. "Seriously, Danny, I can walk out of here."

"Steven. Get your ass in the chair." Danny's lips curved up. "After all, who wouldn't want to be driven around all the time, right?"

Fuck. He couldn't really argue with his own words. Well, he could, but he supposed there were worse things than Danny pushing him out to the car. Steve lowered himself gingerly into the chair without another word. He endured the ribbing from his team, hearing the concern and relief beneath the words, as they walked out of the hospital.

He was content to listen to their banter as they walked him out to the car, his ears perking up when Danny was asking about Shaw. He really did need to find out about him and Amber, if Danny was asking about other women. A good friend should know these things.

He was wondering how he was going to get into the Camaro, when they walked up to Jerry's van. Made sense, it would be a lot easier to get into, and he appreciated the gesture.

When Danny said he wasn't coming, though, Steve was a little surprised. He'd half-expected him to come along and make sure Steve behaved to the letter of the instructions, still in Danny's pocket.

Except Grace was due home this afternoon, and Danny needed to get the car taken care of and be there for her, Steve realized. That made sense. It had nothing to do with Danny being uncomfortable about what had happened.

Steve settled into the back of the minivan, ignoring that nagging feeling at the back of his head. He'd give Danny a call later and everything would be fine. There was nothing to worry about.

***
Chapter 2

-----
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To HDR or not HDR - The HDR argument rages

stellarmeadow — Thu, 14 Aug 2014 21:48:40 GMT

There's a continuing argument around the use of HDR images. Purists proclaim that they're not "pure" pictures. They're not a realistic portrayal of the world, not what the human eye would see.

On the other hand, most pure digital images are not a realistic portrayal of what the human eye would see. They wash out the sky and are incredibly two-dimensional - something most photographers before digital compensated for with work on the images that digital just makes easier. Something most photographers do their best to compensate for when shooting RAW and editing the images before posting.

HDR has always helped me to get a picture that looks more like what I see with my naked eye. And who says that they're not like what other people see? You can't see through anyone else's eyes.

That said, is extreme HDR appropriate in hard journalism? Probably not. But as a photo? As a print? As art? Of course. People don't look at Van Gough's work for the reality. We look at it for what it makes us feel, how it represents how he saw the world. HDR just give those of us who can't paint a chance to share that, I think.

Have a look at some examples of HDR images and let me know what you think.

vid: Count on Me

stellarmeadow — Thu, 14 Aug 2014 02:08:37 GMT

Video celebrating the ohana of Hawaii Five-0

stellarmeadow — Wed, 06 Aug 2014 02:34:58 GMT

Title: Past is Prologue
Author: stellarmeadow
Fandom: Hawaii Five-0
Paring: Steve/Danny
Rating: R
Summary: Steve and Danny are trying to move beyond the revelations of Steve's past, but the past isn't quite done with them yet.
Notes: I couldn't resist revisiting this universe. It needed more. Huge thanks to smudgegirl and uxseven for the cheerleading and the help when things didn't quite work right.

If you haven't read Can You Feel My Heart, this story will make no sense. Read that first.

Part 1 | Part 2

At first, Steve wasn't sure what woke him. The cave was silent, and Danny hadn't moved in his arms. Then he realized that Danny was a little too still. "Danny?" Steve whispered, shaking him a little.

"Sleeping," was Danny's slurred response as he rested heavily on Steve's shoulder.

"Hey, come on, time for sleeping is over," Steve said. "Time to get up."

Danny didn't reply, so Steve moved out from beside him to face him. "Danny. Wake up." Steve put a hand on Danny's cheek and shook him again, not stopping until Danny's eyes blinked open.

"Wanna sleep," Danny murmured, eyes slipping closed again.

"No, no, no." Steve shook him again. "Can't sleep. Wake up. Come on."

He'd heard stories about vamps who hadn't fed, who'd just slipped into death after they'd been turned. They'd only been stories, but this was starting to look real, and Steve needed Danny to snap out of it before it got any worse. "Danny! Wake up!"

Danny's eyes closed, and Steve felt his stomach flip. "Hey!" he shouted towards the entrance of the cave. "We need help!"

He figured Lance wouldn't want a dead hostage, so he was banking on a guard showing up. Sure enough, a man came to see what the problem was, flashlight tilted just enough that Steve could see his face. "He needs blood," Steve said. "He's dying."

"I thought he was already dead," the guy said, like it was no big deal. "Isn't that how it works?"

"Isn't that...don't you know?"

"Not yet," the guy said, with a gleam in his eye. "They promised if I did what they said, they'd show me."

Steve blinked. "You're human?"

"Duh. I'm standing out there in the sun, aren't I?"

"Look," Steve said, getting up and moving closer slowly, "they're not likely to show you how this works if one of your hostages is dead, now, are they?"

"What do they care?"

"They care a lot," Steve said. "And I'm very sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

"This."

He hit the guy hard, and he went down just as hard. Steve dragged him over to Danny, using the flashlight to find a jagged rock and cut the guy's wrist. When he'd made the cut, he put the open wound up to Danny's lips. "Danny," he said. "Come on, drink."

Danny didn't move, and Steve shook him. "Drink, dammit! You need to drink!" He shook Danny again. "Come on, don't you dare leave me, dammit!"

Danny shifted the tiniest bit, and Steve put the flashlight up to see Danny's lips moving against the guy's wrist. After several seconds, Danny's hands came up to hold the guy's arm, and Steve dropped his own, watching as Danny became stronger as he drank.

Steve counted off the time in his head before he pulled the guy away from Danny, not without some difficulty. Part of him wanted to just let the guy die, but he couldn't. Maybe this would be the scare the guy needed to go straight.

More importantly, he didn't want Danny to live with the knowledge of having drained someone dry. It wasn't a pleasant memory to have for the rest of your life.

"Steve?"

Danny sounded stronger, and confused. "Yeah?"

"Who was that?"

"Turns out they needed a human guard for daylight after all." Steve said. "But I don't think we should wait around for anyone to come check up on him." He stood, offering a hand out to Danny. "Come on, let's go."

"Where? It's daylight."

"If there's one cave here, there have to be more," Steve said, searching the guy's pockets until he found a cell phone. "We'll hole up in one until the cavalry comes," he said, holding up the phone.

"Are you sure I'm not going to just catch fire when I step outside?" Danny asked.

"I promise," Steve said, taking Danny's hand. "Come on."

After a second, Danny fell into step behind him. "Lead the way."

***

Steve was right, they didn't have to go far to find another cave. Which was good, because Danny was fading fast in the filtered sunlight. Steve remembered the feeling, and he didn't want to prolong it any longer than he had to. He'd caused Danny enough suffering already.

As soon as they were under cover, Steve pulled out the cell phone he'd stolen. "Fuck!" he hissed.

Danny was close by his side, looking at the phone. "What?"

"Lock screen."

"Really?" Danny pointed at the bottom corner of the phone. "Emergency call," he said. "I think this qualifies."

Which he should've known--it was standard. He just...he looked at Danny, who seemed far less rattled than Steve was. Even though Danny had just fed off a human for the first time, and was, in fact, suddenly and against his will, a vampire.

Okay, McGarrett, call for help, then you can freak out.

Steve called Kono, who answered on the second ring. "Kono--"

"Steve?"

"Yeah, it's me. Did Josef make it back?"

"Yeah, he's here with us. Hang on." He heard background noise and realized he was on speaker phone. "Where are you?" Kono asked.

"I'm not sure. Are you still at the lab?"

"No, after Josef came back without you we came back to HQ so we could try to find you. Do you have any idea where you are?"

Steve shifted the phone to his other hand, sneaking a look at Danny, who was leaning back against the cave wall, eyes closed. They'd stayed close enough to the entrance that there was some light--Steve's reasoning to Danny had been defense, but he'd also wanted to be able to keep an eye on Danny as well. "Best guess is somewhere around Ka'a'awa. I didn't get a great look at the surroundings, we were trying to get to another cave as fast as we could."

"Hang on."

Steve watched Danny while he waited, comforted by the small motions he made as he rested. If he was moving, even a little, he was okay. For now.

"Okay," Kono said after a moment, "I'm only getting an approximation right now from the towers you're using. If I'm going to pinpoint, I need you to go outside long enough for the satellite to pick up that phone's GPS.

He didn't want to leave Danny, but Danny couldn't exactly go outside right now. "Okay, hold on." He put the phone on mute and knelt down beside Danny. "Hey," Steve said softly, reassured when Danny's eyes opened quickly, if not exactly alertly. "I'm gonna go right outside the cave so Kono can find our signal. I'll be right back."

Danny nodded. Steve touched his cheek for a second before he jumped up and ran for the entrance, unmuting the phone as he went. "Okay," he said to Kono, eyes scanning the horizon for any kind of threat. "Track it quick."

The sound of birds comforted him as he waited--if anyone was moving around nearby, there'd be a lot less bird chatter and a lot more silence. But he still wanted to get back in the cave and make sure Danny was okay.

After what seemed like forever, but the phone said was under a minute, Kono said, "Gotcha. You're right about Ka'a'awa, you're not that far from Kualoa, by the looks of things. Any chance you could get to the ranch?"

"Not with the shape Danny's in. We need to stay under cover as much as possible."

"Okay, I've got a lock on the GPS. We're on the way. Try to stay put, but if you have to move, make sure the GPS is on. Text me if you can if you move."

"Will do. Thanks."

He hung up and went back inside, the panic in his chest receding at the sight of Danny still where Steve had left him. "Hey," Steve said, sitting down beside him. "You okay?"

Danny nodded, eyes opening a little. "I'll live," he said, barking out a harsh laugh. "Just tired."

"I know, but I need you to stay awake a little longer, okay?"

Danny made an attempt at rolling his eyes. Nowhere near as good as he usually managed, but the attempt still made Steve smile. "You never let me sleep."

"We get home and I promise you can sleep until you decide on your own you're ready to get up, okay?"

"Okay."

"Just don't sleep now."

Danny hmphed, but he kept his eyes mostly open as Steve settled in closer. "Talk to me," Danny said.

"About what?"

He shrugged. "Anything. Just keep me awake."

Steve thought for a moment before launching into a story about a mission from his Navy days that he knew would have even an under the weather Danny finding a way to rant in under a minute.

***

"How," Danny asked, "did you not get court martialled?"

Steve shrugged. "Our CO liked us?"

"Or something." Danny shifted, his head resting on Steve's shoulder. "What time is it?"

Steve checked the phone, something he'd been trying not to do to preserve the battery. "Just after ten." Which meant their team should be there any time now to rescue them. All they had to do was--

Danny sat up, his head whipping around towards the cave entrance. He pointed in that direction, then held up three fingers to Steve, any hope Steve had that it was their team killed by Danny making the 'kill' motion across his throat.

"Human?" Steve mouthed. At Danny's nod, Steve relaxed a little. He had a fighting chance against three humans.

Steve motioned for Danny to stay put, which led to what would have been an amusing mime-like argument, if Steve hadn't been pressed for time and Danny's life hadn't been in danger. Steve's charade motion indicating the sun, followed by dying, however, won the argument, and Danny subsided against the wall, but he didn't look happy about it.

Steve crept up to the edge of the cave, listening for the rustle of leaves. They were coming from the west and were close, and were not even remotely trying to hide their approach. So either they were stupid, or they were well-armed.

Of course, one didn't negate the chance of the other.

He saw the three of them come out from the trees and sighed. Well-armed it was. He just hoped that the stupid went with it. He grabbed the nearest rock and raised his arm, aiming and waiting for just the right moment to throw.

A helicopter distracted him, along with the three attackers. Before Steve could figure out what was going on, a firefight was underway, one the helicopter quickly won. Steve held onto the rock, peering around the opening to make sure it was his team.

Kono jumped out of the helicopter as it hovered, Chin hanging out of the door to make sure she was covered. She ran over to the cave and Steve met her at the opening. "Where's Danny?" she yelled.

"Inside. I'll get him."

"Hurry, those three had reinforcements on the way."

Steve ran inside and grabbed Danny, happy to see he could make his own way to the entrance, even if he was a little slow. He was even happier to see that Kono and Chin had brought cover for Danny in the helicopter, a large, light-blocking cover that Danny could pull completely over himself to avoid the sunlight.

Steve sat under it with him, his hand firmly holding onto Danny's until they were safely on the ground again.

***

By the time they made it to the lab, it was past lunch time and Steve's stomach was reminding him it had been a long time since he'd eaten. He'd been so focused on Danny's safety he hadn't really noticed until they were on the helicopter, and he hadn't wanted to eat the power bar Kono had offered him in front of Danny.

He'd eat when Danny was cured.

Danny, of course, thought that was absurd. "Your stomach is so loud it's giving me a headache," he said as Jeff prepared the cure.

"Well, then, all the more reason to get you back to human so I can eat."

"Speaking of which," Danny said, looking over at Jeff, who was hunched over a Bunsen burner, "what's with feeding off the cured vampire making me sick?"

Jeff looked up. "What?"

"I tried to feed off Steve," Danny explained, "and it made me sick. It was like it was trying to cure me, but it couldn't quite do it."

"Hm. Makes sense," Jeff said. "There has to be some residual cure in order to fight off any of the vampire virus that might be lurking. That's why it's not likely to work if you try to turn a cured vampire back into a vampire."

Shit. "Speaking of which," Steve said hurriedly, "are you ready to cure this one?"

"Hang on," Danny said, and Steve knew that look Danny shot him. That was not a good look. "Rewind. What did you say about it not working if you try to turn someone who took the cure?"

"Yeah," Jeff said. "Like I told your friend, there's a 78% chance they'd end up dead or in a coma."

The look Danny gave him then was a lot longer and even worse. "You don't say," Danny said, the words directed at Jeff, even as Danny kept his eyes on Steve. "You told my friend here, did you?"

"We can talk about that later," Steve said. "Let's get you cured first, okay?" Because he refused to believe that the cure wouldn't work, but a tiny part of him that had had too many things go wrong in his life wouldn't be quieted until it was over and Danny was human again.

If Danny was pissed at him and hadn't had a chance to yell about it, he'd fight that much harder to come back.

"Everything's ready," Jeff said, and Steve breathed a sigh of relief, even though it was a temporary reprieve, as Danny's face clearly told him. Jeff started over to them, then stopped. "Neither one of you is going to hit me this time, right?"

"No," Danny said. Steve echoed the response, though he couldn't really promise what he would do if--

No. There was no if. Danny would be fine.

Jeff gave Danny the drink, and Steve felt a slight twinge of justification when Danny said, "Oh my God, you weren't kidding about the taste."

"I told you."

"Yeah, but you're you, so it's never certain how much is just you bitching."

"I think you have us confused with each other."

Danny rolled his eyes before submitting to Jeff's examination. When Jeff handed Danny the knife and the second part of the cure, Danny held it out to Steve without hesitation.

Steve took it, barely noticing Jeff backing away. Steve held the knife over Danny's arm. "You'd better get through this quick," Steve said, masking his concern as best he could. "I'm starving."

"Don't worry," Danny said. "The sooner I get through it, the sooner we can have that little conversation about some information you forgot to give me last night."

One corner of Steve's mouth quirked up. "I'm looking forward to it," he said softly. "Ready?"

"Yeah."

Steve cut Danny's arm open, putting the cure onto the wound before it could heal. He watched with fascination as it worked, his body tense as he waited for the coming change.

It didn't take long before Danny started shaking. Steve held him through it, counting seconds as Danny stilled to remind himself it wasn't nearly as long as it felt before Danny gasped and sat up, breaking free of Steve's hold.

Danny looked around, giving Steve a broad smile as he realized what had happened.

"Welcome back," Steve said.

"Feels good to be back."

"Really?"

Danny tilted his head. "Well, I feel like shit. But it still feels good."

Steve knew exactly what he meant. He moved away and let Jeff examine Danny, the last of his muscles relaxing as Jeff pronounced Danny a normal, healthy human.

"Wait, he's normal?" Steve said. "What'd you put in that cure?"

Danny flipped him off. "Do we need to do anything else here?" Danny asked Jeff.

"Nope. You're done. Just try to avoid getting turned," Jeff said, and Steve could've groaned at the reminder. Like Danny needed it? "It wouldn't go well."

"Don't worry, I'm not likely to forget that anytime soon."

The dark look Danny gave Steve didn't bode well for the drive home. "Let's go," Steve said.

***

Josef, Chin and Kono were waiting in the outer room. Once Chin and Kono had assured themselves that Danny was, in fact, fine, and human, and Steve and Danny had thanked Josef, Steve's stomach growled loud enough everyone could hear it.

Danny rolled his eyes. "Come on, we'll get some food on the way home."

"Hang on," Steve said. "I need to talk to Josef."

He pulled Josef off to the side, conscious of the others trying to pretend like they weren't watching. "I need you to get in touch with Lance," he said. "Give him some of the cure and tell him we're done. He leaves me alone, I'll leave him alone."

"And if he doesn't agree?"

"Then we'll deal with it."

Josef stared at him for a long moment. "Okay," he said, and something in the way he said it made Steve wonder what other threats might go along with the cure that Steve would never know about.

"Thank you," Steve said, shaking Josef's hand.

"You're welcome."

He managed to make it sound condescending and not, all at once, and Steve shook his head.

"Come on," he said to Danny as they rejoined the others. "Let's get out of here. We'll check in tomorrow morning, okay?"

They said their goodbyes and headed to the nearest McDonalds for burgers--well-done, at Danny's fervent request. Steve insisted they eat at the restaurant, telling Danny he didn't know that he could drive all the way home without food. Danny's look said he knew better, but he didn't argue.

The drive home was too quiet. Danny's silence would've worried Steve more if he hadn't remembered how he'd felt like he'd been hit by a truck after the cure. But Danny didn't sleep. He just stared out the window without a word.

It wasn't until they were inside the house, door locked behind them, standing in the middle of the living room, that Danny spoke. "So tell me," Danny said, the words deceptively calm, given his tone, "why it is that you would try to dupe me into killing you."

Steve was momentarily lost for words. He hadn't seen it like that at all, but now that he put himself in Danny's shoes...fuck. "Danny...I'm sorry."

"Sorry? That's all you've got? Sorry?"

"Are you going to tell me that you're rational when I'm hurt?"

"There's irrational, and then there's insane, Steve. And to deliberately ask me to do something that might kill you without telling me that fact is insane. In fact, it's so far beyond insane that they need a new word for it!"

Steve put his hands on Danny's shoulders. "I'm sorry, okay? I don't have a time machine, I can't give you anything more than an apology."

"You can promise me you'll never do something like that again."

"I...." He could say the words, but they wouldn't be true. "Danny...I don't know that I can promise that."

Danny stared at him for a long time. "I don't know whether to be mad at you for not being able to promise me or happy with you for not lying."

Which didn't say a lot for Danny's opinion of Steve at the moment. "Can you seriously tell me that you wouldn't risk your life to save me?"

"Of course I would, but I wouldn't take a stupid risk that put me in unnecessary danger on the slim chance it might save you."

"Really?" Steve raised an eyebrow. "So that wasn't you who pulled me out of the back of a truck in North Korea?"

"That's not the same thing!"

"No, you're right. Do you want to know what the odds were of you coming back from that mission, let alone bringing me with you?" Steve asked. Because he was well trained in analysis and he'd done the math more than once. "Seventeen percent. What I did had a twenty-two percent chance of success. From where I stand that makes your risk even more insane than mine."

Danny fumed silently for a few seconds. "It's still not the same thing."

"No, it's not. But I'd say they're about equal. I knew you wouldn't drain me too far, because I know you. You couldn't do that to me." Steve took Danny's hands. "It wasn't about risk. It was about trust. I trust you. In any form."

Danny took a deep breath and let it out. "Okay," he said.

"Okay?"

"Yeah, okay."

It was said with a hint of a smile, so Steve assumed he was more or less of the hook, though he didn't doubt he'd be hearing about it for months. Maybe longer.

It was sad how much he was looking forward to that.

"So how are you feeling?" Steve asked.

"Like I've been run over by Grace's entire softball team, screaming at the top of their lungs."

A rather accurate description, from Steve's memory of things. "What do you say we go get some sleep?"

"Maybe a shower first?" Danny said around a yawn.

"Can you stay awake long enough?"

"I might need some help," Danny said, giving Steve a grin. "And you could use one, too, so maybe you can make sure I don't drown?"

"Come on," Steve said, leading Danny to the stairs. "I think I can manage that."

***

It was still dark out when Steve woke, the moon shining brightly in the windows. It took him a moment to realize what had woken him--there was no danger, and Danny was still lying safe in his arms. Then he realized that Danny was being far too intentionally still and quiet.

Steve stretched against Danny's back, one hand placed firmly over Danny's heart, the steady beat just noticeable beneath Danny's skin. "Can't sleep?" Steve asked against Danny's neck.

"Could you?"

Danny knew the answer to that; he'd been the one to wake up with Steve when the situation had been reversed. "You didn't hurt anyone," Steve said, knowing it didn't help, even as he knew how much worse it would've been if he had done some of the things Steve had in the past.

"Tell that to the guy who I emptied of half his blood."

"That guy was holding you hostage," Steve said. "Would it have been different if you'd shot him to death in an escape?"

Danny didn't answer, but he didn't have to. Steve knew the answer was yes. It would have been different. It shouldn't have been. But it would have.

When you shoot someone to death, you don't know what it's like to feel their life slowly draining away as their blood flows through your body.

Most days Steve managed to keep perspective about it. But that didn't change the fact that he knew it felt different. And perception was reality; if it felt different, it was different.

"He'll recover," Steve said, "just in time to spend a nice stint in Halawa with the rest of his friends who were on their way to kill us."

"Still."

Steve tightened his arms around Danny, as if it could somehow fix things if he held on tight enough. "Well, if you're going to blame yourself, then you'll need to heap some of that on me," Steve said. "I brought all this on you, after all."

Danny shifted until he was facing Steve. "You didn't bring any of this on," he said. "Lance did."

"Exactly," Steve said, for all that he wasn't done feeling guilty for dragging Danny into this. "Just like he brought that guy into this, he turned you into a vampire, he's the reason you had to feed or die. Life or death is life or death, Danny."

He met Danny's eyes, willing him to get it, to start convincing himself of it, because for all that it felt different, and Steve understood that all too well, it wasn't. Not in the end. And you just had to talk yourself into that frame of mind.

"I'll get there," Danny said after a moment. "It's just going to take some time."

"I know."

Danny's smile was faint, but it was real. "I know you do." He leaned in for a kiss. "Go back to sleep," Danny said. "I plan to be far more awake when the sun comes up, and I know a few ways you can try to make me forget about the past two days."

"I bet I know a few more," Steve said.

"I'm counting on it."

***

They were barely out of bed and out of the shower when Kono knocked at the door, Chin close behind, both bearing food. "We thought you could both use some food," Kono said, but Steve knew what they were both saying without words. That was the amazing thing about family--you took care of each other, and you didn't need to spell it out.

A knock on the door soon after their arrival had Steve smiling, unsurprised to open the door and find Josef on the other side. "Come in," Steve said, holding the door open and letting him inside. "I'm pretty sure the cook out won't be to your liking, food wise, but you're welcome to stay."

"Thanks, I'd love to," Josef said, sounding almost believable, "but Jeff's already on the plane waiting to go back to L.A."

"You spent a whole two nights in Hawaii," Steve said, teasing. "I'm sure you must be twitchy by now."

Josef shook his head, but Steve knew that smile. "I'll never get what you see in this place."

"No," Steve said, looking through to the back yard where his family stood, only Grace, who was due any time now, missing from the group. "You wouldn't."

"But it suits you," Josef said, putting his hand on Steve's shoulder. "Come to think of it, I think 'Steve' suits you as well."

"Thanks," Steve said. Because Josef had been family first, and this felt almost like some kind of unofficial handoff or something.

"Leaving so soon?" Danny asked, as he came into the room.

Josef smirked, raising an eyebrow at Steve as Danny effortlessly inserted himself between Josef and Steve, dislodging Josef's hand in the process. "The name isn't the only thing that suits you," Josef said.

"I agree," Steve said, giving Danny a blank look when he frowned. "What?"

"I'll find out later," Danny said, and Steve had no doubt he would.

Josef turned to Danny. "Nice to see you again," he said, shaking Danny's hand. "I'm glad everything turned out as it should."

"Thanks for your help." Danny's tone was sincere, as was the solid handshake he gave Josef in return. "We owe you."

"I still owe Steve," Josef said. "This was just balancing the scales a little." He turned to Steve. "I talked to Lance."

"And?" Steve asked.

Josef shrugged. "He said the terms were acceptable. He sent someone to my hotel for the cure this morning, and he says as long as you leave him alone, he'll do the same.

"Good. You think he meant it?"

"I hope so. But I'll keep an eye on him."

Steve knew Josef had a lot of eyes, and that they were very good at their jobs. "Let me know if I need to worry."

"Will do," he said. "Take care of yourselves."

"You, too," Steve said, walking him the few steps to the door and closing it behind him.

He turned to see Danny smiling at him with a look he couldn't quite place. "What?" Steve asked, moving back to stand next to Danny.

Danny shook his head. "Nothing." He grabbed Steve by the wrist and pulled him towards the beach. "Come on, I promised Grace we'd have a sandcastle foundation ready by the time she got here, and there's nothing yet."

He followed, letting Danny's flow of words wash over him like the ocean--soft, familiar and welcome, and always reminding him of home.

---
END

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fic: Past is Prologue (2/3)

stellarmeadow — Wed, 06 Aug 2014 02:32:25 GMT

Title: Past is Prologue
Author: stellarmeadow
Fandom: Hawaii Five-0
Paring: Steve/Danny
Rating: R
Summary: Steve and Danny are trying to move beyond the revelations of Steve's past, but the past isn't quite done with them yet.
Notes: I couldn't resist revisiting this universe. It needed more. Huge thanks to smudgegirl and uxseven for the cheerleading and the help when things didn't quite work right.

If you haven't read Can You Feel My Heart, this story will make no sense. Read that first.

Part 1

"Are you completely out of your mind?"

Steve gripped the phone hard. "Josef, I don't have a choice. I have to go after him."

"Mick--Steve--whatever the fuck your name is, do you remember the last time you started to go after vampires who had the love of your life?"

Steve had been trying to not think about that exact thing. "I don't care."

"You are no good to him dead. You know that, right?"

"Josef--"

"No. Stay put. We made good time and we have clearance to land early. I'll be there in half an hour. You know you can't win alone, so don't do anything stupid. Okay?" When Steve didn't answer, Josef repeated, "Okay?"

"Okay."

***

"Thank God," were the first words out of Steve's mouth when Josef walked in, Jeff following close behind. Steve's relief at finally being able to actively do something about Danny was enhanced by his relief at not having to talk about his past anymore. At least not for the moment; he knew better than to think Chin and Kono would just leave it.

And he owed them honesty about it, owed them the stories. They'd more than earned them. He just didn't want to think about it right now, not when Danny....

Well, he didn't want to think too much about that, either.

Steve made the introductions, finishing with, "And now can we go get Danny?" to Josef.

"We're coming," Kono said.

Steve's quick and definitive. "No."

"We have every right--" Kono started, but Steve cut her off.

"You don't know what it's like to fight a vampire, Kono. You can't win."

Josef's laugh made Steve glare at him. "And you can?" Josef asked. "Exactly how does that work? You're human now, remember?"

"Believe me, I haven't forgotten." Steve looked at the others before nodding towards his office. "Let's talk in there."

Josef shook his head. "I already know what you're going to ask me, and Jeff has already said no."

"Josef--"

"Even if it works," Josef said, "and Jeff doesn't think it will, the cure isn't likely to work again. You become a vampire again, you likely stay one."

"I don't--"

"Yes, you do care. Why do you think we spent so much time finding that cure, asshole?"

Steve took a deep breath. He did care. But not more than he cared about saving Danny. "I will do whatever it takes to save him. You get that?"

Josef rolled his eyes. "You think I haven't learned a thing or two about you in sixty years?" He looked at Jeff. "Tell him."

"If someone tried to turn you there's a seventy-eight percent chance you'd end up in a coma or die," Jeff said.

Steve looked at Josef, knew he was thinking about Sarah, forever young, forever living, and forever in a coma, thanks to Josef. He couldn't do that to Josef. And he was no good to Danny in a coma or dead. "Okay," Steve said. "Okay. So what do we do?"

"We have the cure," Josef said. "Lance wants the cure. He left you alone once when he got what he wanted."

"And then tried to kill me and did kill Beth the second time," Steve reminded him.

"Because he didn't get what he wanted."

Steve hadn't had time to give him what he wanted. He would have, in a heartbeat, if he'd known what was coming. "You know Lance only wants a temporary cure," Steve said. "He doesn't want to be human forever, only long enough to suit his purposes."

"Nobody said he had to know this one was permanent," Josef said.

Steve blinked. "He doesn't know?"

"Would he be asking you for it if he did?"

Steve hadn't thought about at. He'd been too busy focusing on saving Danny to let his brain go any further. "So what happens to us when he finds out it's permanent?"

Josef shrugged. "Best case scenario? He's human by then. What difference does it make what he tries to do?"

"Worst case?"

"Nothing worse than the situation you're in right now."

All true. Steve took a shaky breath and let it out, focusing himself. "Okay."

"Do we know where Lance is holed up?" Josef asked.

Kono, who'd been watching the conversation silently with Chin and Toast, swiped a map up onto the overhead screens. "He's in a house in Waimanalo," she said. "Or at least that's where we traced the signal to."

"Except I know that house," Toast said. "A vampire lives there, but not this Lance guy. It's a guy named Reaver."

"Reaver?" Josef asked.

Toast shrugged. "That's what happens when you choose your own name when you're high?"

"Reaver it is," Josef said with a little smirk.

"Reaver's high a lot," Toast said, and for Toast to think it was a lot, that had to be a hell of a lot. "I can't believe he's part of a kidnapping plot--seems like too many brain cells for him."

"We think he might be working for Lance," Chin said. "Holding Danny at his place, maybe, in exchange for money or drugs."

Josef thought for a second before coming to the same conclusion Steve had half an hour ago. "Makes sense. Vampire-ready housing can't be easy to find, especially in Hawaii. And a low-brain druggie is easy fodder for Lance."

"That's what I thought," Steve said. "So let's go talk to Reaver."

"And if Lance is there?"

"Then we tell him that we have the cure stashed away and he gets it when Danny's free," Steve said. "You brought it, right?"

Josef nodded at the bag slung over Jeff's shoulder, which looked like an organ donor transplant cooler. "There's a couple of batches in there, " Josef said, "along with what we'd need to make more if we had to. My lab is still in place not far from here. Jeff's going to go there to store everything and wait."

"If Lance figures out where it is--"

"I've got security all over that place," Josef said.

"Still...." He turned to Chin and Kono. "Will you go with him? Make sure he's safe?"

Chin frowned. "If this is your way of trying to protect us--"

"That cure is Danny's only hope," Steve interrupted. "You're the only ones I trust to protect it."

"Then that's what we'll do," Kono said, giving him a small smile, one that Chin echoed.

"Mahalo." He jerked his head towards the door. "Take him now before we leave, and try not to be seen."

Chin gripped Steve's arm for a moment. "Be careful."

"You, too."

He let go, and Kono gave Steve a hug before they shepherded Jeff out of the room.

Steve looked at Josef. "You ready?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"No. So let's go."

***

"There's something bothering me," Steve said as he drove, feeling odd driving the Camaro with Josef in the passenger seat. It was like two different worlds that were never meant to meet, and it just underscored the situation.

"Other than the ancient vampire holding your newly-turned boyfriend hostage?"

Steve shot him a dark look. "You really wanna make jokes about this right now?"

"Sorry," Josef said. "Just trying to lighten the mood."

Steve ignored that. "Lance said something about Coraline stealing the cure. I thought at first he meant when she brought it to me in L.A., before he found her. But then he said something about what was taken after he killed Beth." Steve shook his head. "That doesn't make any sense."

The silence from the other side of the car was deafening. After a minute, Steve took a deep breath. "Tell me that doesn't make any sense to you, Josef."

"Okay, you have to understand that I didn't realize until just now that she'd stolen it. I wasn't even sure it came from her."

Steve counted to ten, gripping the steering wheel tightly. "What happened?"

"Not long after Beth died, another sample of the cure arrive by courier. Untraceable, no way of knowing where it came from, the trail ended at the courier, and trust me, I tried to find out. So we tested it to make sure it wasn't some kind of hoax, but it was the real cure. And we were running out of what you left with us, so we used it. It's the only reason we had enough to get to our breakthrough."

"And you didn't think to tell me this?"

"What good would it have done, huh?" Josef asked. "You were off on your self-imposed exile, punishing yourself for Beth's death by trying to become some kind of super human. Like you needed more things to worry about?"

Steve gripped the wheel even harder. "You should've told me."

"Why? You didn't need to worry about where it came from any more than you needed the possibly false hope that it would lead to a cure. You went off to Annapolis to forget Mick St. John and everything associated with him," Josef said. "What purpose would've been served by calling you up and saying 'Hey, I think your dead undead wife might've sent me some more of the cure?'"

He had a point. Steve knew he had a point. Didn't mean it still didn't sting. One more secret someone had kept from him 'for his own good.'

He really hated that phrase.

"Okay," he said, because he had to let it go, had to put all his focus on Danny if this was going to work. "Just...no more secrets, right?"

"Nope. All secrets are officially out."

Steve scoffed at the idea of Josef revealing all his secrets to anyone, but he could hear the sincerity in the tone enough to know that Josef would at least think twice before keeping anything secret that concerning Steve. That was all that mattered.

***

As they walked up to the front door of the house, Steve could tell Josef was sniffing out any potential vampires. Steve raised an eyebrow at him to avoid saying anything that might be overheard by a vamp with super hearing.

Josef held up one finger.

"Vamp?" Steve mouthed.

Josef nodded, and Steve frowned. If Danny was there, as a newly turned vamp he'd be obvious. Hardly any decay. Josef didn't seem to think that was what he'd smelled. Then again, maybe the vamp smell was masking Danny. Steve had had trouble with that in the past.

No other way to find out but ask. Steve knocked, then, when there wasn't an answer, knocked again. After his third knock, Josef put his hand on Steve's arm, keeping him from knocking again. A few seconds later, Steve heard footsteps, then the door opened to reveal a guy Steve would've at least suspected was a drug addict if he hadn't known he was a vamp.

Then again, there wasn't a lot of difference.

Steve pointed at his badge. "Five-0," he said. "We'd like a few words with you, Reaver."

Reaver blinked. "Who?" he said, and it was somehow refreshing to Steve to see an addict who was that bad at lying.

"I could call you by your last three names," Steve said. "Or I could drag you out in broad daylight and question you in the sun for a while and see how that goes."

Reaver rolled his eyes and pulled the door back further. "Come in then."

Steve followed Josef into the house and closed the door. Reaver folded his arms over his chest. "What do you want?" he asked.

"Lance," Steve said.

"Who's Lance?"

Steve laughed. "How old are you?" Steve said. "Because you can't have lived all that long being that bad a liar."

"You know usually when people want something they're a lot nicer.'

"This says I don't have to be nice," Steve said, pointing at his badge.

Reaver looked at Josef, who said, "I could rip your head off before you could realize I'd moved," like he was commenting on the weather.

"Okay, I mighta seen a Lance or something somewhere."

"We know he was here. We know he had a guest."

Reaver shook his head. "Didn't have a guest."

Steve glanced at Josef. "What did he have?" Steve asked.

"A promise he would kill me if I told anyone."

"Don't worry," Josef said, "there won't be anything left of you to kill if you don't tell us."

Reaver blinked at him, then blinked at Steve. "Aren't you, like, a cop?"

"Something like that."

"He just threatened to kill me."

Steve shrugged. "I'm sworn to protect humans. What happens to vampires isn't really my area anymore."

Reaver stared at them until Josef moved closer, letting out a growl. "Okay!" Reaver said, holding his hands up. "Okay!" He took a step back, eyeing Josef warily. "This guy Lance, he paid me to reroute an internet signal. That's it. I don't know anything else."

"Where was the original signal coming from?"

Reaver shook his head. "I have an IP address."

"Hand it over," Steve said, already dialing Toast's number.

***

"What do you smell?" Steve asked Josef, eyeing the house that, according to Toast, was the origin of the IP address Reaver had given them.

"Vampires," Josef said quietly. "There've been several, but I think they're gone. There's a faint smell of human, though."

"That might be Danny," Steve said, charging forward.

Josef grabbed his arm, his grip painful. "And it might be a trap, too."

"Only one way to find out," Steve said.

Josef sighed and let go. "I hate it when you're right."

They approached the house carefully. Steve didn't bother to knock. He threw the door open quickly and went in, clearing rooms one by one, Josef behind him, sniffing like a bloodhound.

"Nothing," Steve said. "Where's the--"

A wooden stake came flying through the room, hitting Josef right in the chest. Steve didn't even see Josef hit the ground before everything went black.

***

Dark.

That was the first impression Steve had when he woke. Everything was dark, and it smelled of mold. Which could mean he was in a fair amount of houses in Hawaii, but it didn't feel like a house. The ground was too hard and dirty, shifting under him as he moved, and the smell was distinctly cave-like.

His pillow moved with him, but only when he realized there was something on his head did he make a connection.

He was lying in someone's lap, their hand on his head.

"You know," Danny said, "all those times I tried to get you to sleep a little longer, and you just had to choose now to listen?"

Steve scrambled up to his knees, only to have the world go a little sideways. Strong hands caught him before he could pitch over though. Danny's hands. Steve couldn't see him, but he knew who it was now, and he reached out into the darkness, his hands finding Danny's shoulders, feeling their way up to his neck to find it whole and cool and with no pulse.

"Still alive, then?" Steve asked, forcing a lightness into his tone.

"Not exactly," Danny replied, matching Steve's tone, "but close enough."

"You will be, though," Steve said, laying one hand on Danny's cheek. "As soon as we get out of here. Everything is in place and waiting."

"I knew it would be." He could feel Danny's smile against his hand.

Steve looked around, but he couldn't see anything. "Where are we?"

"Some kind of cave. I was out of it when they brought me here, but I've figured that much out. The entrance isn't too far, and there are a couple of guards out there at all times. I take it that Lance didn't hold up his end of the bargain when you brought him the cure?"

Steve dropped his hand, letting it rest in Danny's lap. "Never got the chance. We were following the internet trail from his little stunt with you and we got ambushed."

"That explains that, then."

"What?"

"The guards said something when they brought you in about hoping Kostan doing what he's told now so they could go home."

Relief coursed through Steve as he realized whoever had knocked him out and staked Josef hadn't killed Josef as well. "I'm guessing they told Josef to bring the cure in exchange for both of us," Steve said.

"Or at least you."

"Doesn't matter. Josef knows better than to accept any deal where we don't both get out of here alive."

He didn't need to see Danny to recognize the sound he made. "Danny," Steve said, feeling his way along Danny's body until he found Danny's hand and took it in his own. "Josef...he was there when Beth died. He knows what it would to me to lose you. Trust me, he's not going to let that happen."

After a few seconds, Danny said, "Okay." He squeezed Steve's hand a little. "As long as he knows it would be the same for me if I lost you."

It was as close as either of them had really come to putting any kind of words to whatever was between them. Steve was still searching for a response when Danny's hand squeezed his, almost bone-crushingly tight.

"What's wrong?" Steve asked.

Danny's answer was slow in coming, as he loosened his grip just a little. "Hungry," he said.

He didn't need to say more. Steve still remembered the first days after he was turned, how intense the hunger was, how it hurt as if you'd been starving for a month. "Here," Steve said, pulling off his outer shirt and holding out his wrist. "Drink."

Danny didn't move, and Steve hated that he couldn't see him in the darkness, because he couldn't tell what the problem was. "You have to feed, Danny. If you don't...."

He didn't want to say the words. About a week after he'd become human, Steve, aided by some alcohol, had told Danny the whole story of being turned, and he'd been brutally honest about it. About how the hunger is almost impossible to control, whether you want to feed or not. And how the longer you wait, the harder it is to control.

"I...." Danny cleared his throat. "I don't know if I can stop."

"I'll stop you."

Danny's laugh held no humor. "You're human. Even this weak I can tell how much strength I have."

"Your emotions are heightened," Steve said. "You're not going to hurt me. You couldn't." Danny didn't respond, and Steve moved closer, taking Danny's hand again. "You have to feed. And I'm the only source right now. It'll be fine."

"And if I go too far?"

"Then you can turn me and we can both be cured," Steve said, leaving out what Jeff had said about the chances of that working. There was still plenty of chance it would work, and either way Danny lived, and that was the important thing.

"Okay," Danny said after a moment. He still didn't seem certain about it, but he took Steve's hand in one of his, the other gripping Steve's forearm, and lowered his mouth to meet Steve's wrist. The first prick of Danny's fangs piercing Steve's skin sent a familiar pleasure through Steve's veins, the sensation all wrong when associated with Danny, but still undeniably good.

Steve had counted off five seconds when Danny suddenly shoved him away. He heard Danny making odd gurgling sounds, and scrambled across the ground towards the noise until he got his hands on Danny's body. "Danny! What's wrong?"

Danny didn't answer, and Steve felt for a pulse before realizing the futility of that. "Danny!"

"Okay," Danny said, sounding a little strangled, but clearly trying to get across that he wasn't dying. "Need...minute...."

After a few harrowing seconds, he struggled to his knees, and Steve helped him over to the wall of the cave not taking his hands off until Danny was seated with his back to the wall. Steve sat next to him, pressing against him from shoulder to knee, wondering as he waited what the hell was going on. Was there something he didn't know about someone as old as Lance turning a vamp? But no, Coraline had been Lance's sister. And she'd turned Steve and it had been nothing like this.

"Can you talk now?" Steve asked quietly.

"Yeah. It's better. Just...that sucked." He felt Danny shift before he asked, "Is it always like that the first time?"

"No. I've never seen that before. What happened?"

"I don't know. One second it was fine, great, in fact. You weren't kidding about it being the greatest drug ever. The next second, it was like my insides were on fire, almost like the transformation, but in reverse, if that makes any sense."

It made too much sense. Steve had felt that as well. "That's what it felt like right before the cure killed me. Well, vamp me," Steve clarified.

"The cure is in your blood," Danny said. "Maybe it would cure me?"

He'd love for it to be that easy. "I don't know how it works. Do you want to try it again"

Danny shuddered. "I don't want to go through that again."

Steve didn't blame him--he knew what it felt like. But he also knew that Danny needed to go through it at least once more. "I know. But...."

"But I'm going to have to." Danny reached for Steve's arm. "Let's try it again. If you're game?"

He'd do anything to save Danny. "Whenever you're ready."

Danny bit into Steve's arm again, but seconds later he shoved Steve away. This time Steve heard Danny retching, and Steve moved to his side. Danny was on his hands and knees, but as Steve put his arm around Danny's back, Danny straightened up to sit on his knees.

"What happened?"

"I can't keep it down. It just came right back up."

Shit. "Okay. Come on, let's sit back down."

He guided Danny back to the wall to sit, even though Danny could probably see better than Steve. "Any idea how long it is until sunrise?" Steve asked, taking his seat next to Danny again.

"A couple hours, maybe?" Danny shrugged. "You were out for a while."

"The guards, are they vampires?"

"Yeah, you're the only human I've smelled so far."

Which was both good and bad. "Well, then, just as well you're still a vampire, in case we need to fight our way out."

"Right, a new, weak vampire with no one to feed on, I can just kick all their asses."

He'd been hoping Danny wouldn't pick up on the bad side. "They can't stay out there the day. Maybe that'll be the chance the team needs to come get us."

"Unless we're in the forest. Because then they'll be protected from the sun and they can stay out there all day long."

Steve turned, putting his hand on the back of Danny's neck. "Hey. We're going to get out of here, and we're going to cure you. You know that, right?" When Danny didn't respond, Steve shook him a little. "Right?"

"Right."

He didn't sound entirely convinced, but it was better than nothing. "Okay, then we should try to get a little sleep until daylight. I think that's our best chance."

Danny didn't need to say anything; Steve already knew Danny was thinking he was crazy. But it had worked for them in the past, so Danny would just have to believe one more time.

Putting his arm around Danny's shoulder, Steve leaned back against the wall, holding Danny close and closing his eyes.

***

Part 3

fic: Past is Prologue (1/3)

stellarmeadow — Wed, 06 Aug 2014 02:28:52 GMT

Title: Past is Prologue
Author: stellarmeadow
Fandom: Hawaii Five-0
Paring: Steve/Danny
Rating: R
Summary: Steve and Danny are trying to move beyond the revelations of Steve's past, but the past isn't quite done with them yet.
Notes: I couldn't resist revisiting this universe. It needed more. Huge thanks to smudgegirl and uxseven for the cheerleading and the help when things didn't quite work right.

If you haven't read Can You Feel My Heart, this story will make no sense. Read that first.

Steve tiptoed back into the room, toweling saltwater off his skin. He'd dropped his trunks at the washing machine, and was about as dry as he was going to get by the time he reached the bed. Danny's head was peeking out above the covers, at the edge of his own pillow, with his nose buried in Steve's.

How anyone so compact (he'd never even dare think 'small' because he was pretty sure Danny could read his mind, and he didn't want to be sleeping on his own couch) could take up so much space, Steve didn't know. Nor did he really care--Danny could have almost the entire bed as long as he left just enough room for Steve to sleep next to him.

Steve slid under the covers, wrapping an arm and leg around Danny and pulling him close. Danny stirred, rubbing his nose against Steve's shoulder. "'S cold."

"You're under a blanket and a bedspread. In Hawaii." Steve kissed Danny on the head. "How can you be cold?"

"You," Danny clarified. "You're cold. And wet. You're a cold, wet, sea monster."

He pulled his head back just enough to look at Steve as he said it, the sleepy eyes, mussed up hair and smile taking Steve's breath away. He'd waited ninety years for this, only had a hint of it with Beth before it had been stolen, and even after a month he still woke up half afraid it was a dream and would be gone in the light of day.

But every day Danny was still there.

Steve tightened his leg, pulling Danny's hips against his own. "I know what would warm me up."

"Seriously," Danny said, "who called you Smooth Dog with lines like that?"

"Your mouth may be complaining, Danno, but your body says otherwise."

Danny smiled, leaning in for a quick kiss. "Nothing that happens below the belt counts as higher thinking."

"Something down there certainly seems to be getting up."

Danny groaned. "Seriously, Smooth Dog was ironic, right?"

"Danny?"

"Mmm?"

"Shut up."

Steve leaned in for a kiss to make sure he did.

***

"Danny!" Steve yelled up the stairs. "We're gonna be late!"

Danny appeared on the landing, buttoning up his shirt as he jogged down the stairs. "And whose fault is that?" he asked, as he followed Steve out the door.

"Yours," Steve said, locking the door behind him before heading to the car.

Danny paused at the passenger side door of the Camaro. "Mine?" he said, watching Steve walk around to the driver's side. "How do you figure that one?"

Steve grinned at him over the top of the car. "It's your fault you're so hot, Danno."

Danny rolled his eyes, but Steve didn't miss the smile on his face as he ducked into the car. It disappeared as they pulled out of the drive, though, and Danny's attention stayed focused on the corner after they'd passed it.

"What?" Steve asked.

Danny turned to look at him. "Hm?"

"What's wrong?"

Danny shook his head. "Nothing, just thought I saw someone." He gave Steve a mock glare. "Must be seeing things due to lack of sleep."

"Like I said, it's your own fault you're so hot."

Sometimes Steve wondered if Danny got headaches from rolling his eyes so much. "Swing by Starbucks and I might think about forgiving you before bedtime tonight."

"You'd forgive me anyway," Steve said.

But he headed straight for Starbucks, just in case.

***

Steve was going over a case the Governor had suggested they look into when he heard Danny yelling in his office. While that wasn't necessarily unusual, he was usually yelling at Steve, and since Steve wasn't in there....

He got to Danny's door and saw Toast sitting at Danny's computer, Danny hovering over him like a hawk, mid-rant, arms flying. "--an aspirin. Or some Benadryl or something."

Steve choked back a laugh at the 'are you an idiot' look on Toast's face. "It's not like a cold, Jersey. You can't just give it a pill."

"Well give it something to make the virus go away."

Toast sighed. "I'm trying to fix it. Maybe if you'd stop hovering--"

"Maybe if you'd fix it I'd stop hovering."

"Maybe if you didn't click on attachments in emails I could be at home."

Steve recognized the look on Danny's face. That was a look that clearly said it was time for Steve to intervene. "Okay," Steve said, crossing the room to stand beside Danny. "Danny, maybe you could go get some lunch?"

Danny glared at him. "I'm not leaving my computer until he's done."

"I'll stay with the computer," Steve said. "Just go get some food, okay?"

Danny looked at Toast. "How long?"

Toast shrugged. "Hour? Maybe less? I know the virus, it's pretty straightforward. It just takes time to clean."

"Come on," Steve said, putting his arm around Danny's shoulder and leading him into the hall. "Go grab something to eat. It'll be fine when you get back."

Danny sighed. "Fine. But don't let him out of your sight."

"I won't. Grab me a sandwich?"

"Yeah. I'll be back in a few."

Steve watched him leave before going back into the office. "How did he get a virus?"

"It happens," Toast said with a shrug. "But it's a virus that, among other things, turns on your webcam." Toast looked up at Steve. "Hope you didn't do anything in here the last week or so that you didn't want recorded."

Steve thought back hurriedly, but any conversations they'd had at HQ that he'd rather not have recorded had probably been in his office. "Uh...when you're done here, can you check my computer?"

Toast's smirk was probably justified, but it was still annoying.

***

"Okay," Toast said, "this program takes a while to run, so we can go check your computer while it finishes."

Steve glanced at his watch, surprised to find it had been half an hour. They'd been talking about surfing and other random things and he hadn't noticed the time. He pulled out his phone, frowning. No missed calls, no texts from Danny.

It was probably nothing. The line at the deli could be a little long. But usually Danny would've at least texted by now, bitching about the line.

Steve tapped Danny's contact icon and put the phone to his ear. It rang until the voicemail picked up. He could call Chin and get him to come in and track it, but he hated to do that when he and Lelani were having a picnic, particularly when he didn't really have any reason to think there was a problem. And Kono was with Adam.

It was nothing. Danny would be pissed if Steve called Chin or Kono to the office.

"Hey, Toast," Steve said, "can you track Danny's phone?"

"Software to track phone GPS locations is against the--"

"Toast."

"On it."

Toast turned to his tablet and tapped away. Within a minute, he had a blinking red light on a map. Steve recognized the spot on the map, and it was nowhere near where Danny was supposed to be. "What building is there?" Steve asked, not remembering one.

"There isn't one. There's nothing on that stretch for a mile, at least."

So Danny's phone was on the side of the road, and Danny wasn't answering it, so he was either not with it, or he couldn't answer. Neither option boded well.

"See if you can figure out how the phone got there," Steve said as he called Chin.

***

"You're supposed to be good at this, Toast," Steve growled, as he wore a path in front of his own desk. "The best you can do is 'I don't know?'"

"Dude, he doesn't have his phone, we have a half an hour window in downtown Honolulu where he disappeared, and since we know where his car is and he's not in it, we don't know what car we're looking for. You want me to trace a signal or something, I'm your guy, but I'm just another set of eyes for this."

Steve closed his eyes, taking a few deep breaths before opening his eyes again to look through the window to see Kono and Chin huddled over the computer table. "Do what you can," he said to Toast, as he walked out.

"Any luck?" he asked Chin and Kono, joining them at the computer table.

"Nothing yet," Chin said. "But we've got the computer scanning every camera, so as soon as we--"

The table beeped, and Kono tapped on it. "Found footage of Danny, about a block from the restaurant," Kono said. She swiped the video up on the screen. "Looks like he got stopped by some guy," Kono said, as the grainy video played out on the overhead screen, "and then--what was that?"

Steve watched as Danny shook a little, then fell against the guy, who looked up into the camera for a second before turning away. Kono rewound and paused on his face. "That's the best shot we get. I'll run it through facial recognition, but it's kind of--"

"Don't bother," Steve said shortly, staring at the man's one black eyeball. "I know who it is."

"You can tell based on that?" Chin asked.

"Some people you don't forget," Steve said, pulling out his phone. "Get Toast out here," Steve said, pulling up Josef's number. "I need to make a call."

***

"Look, Mick--"

"Steve," Steve ground out, leaning against Danny's desk.

Josef's sigh was more implied than heard. "Steve, I know you cared about Danny, but--"

"Do not say that in the past tense."

"Fine, I know you care about him. But this is Lance."

"I don't need the lecture, Josef."

"Really? Because if you'd listened to the lecture last time, things might've gone differently."

Steve glanced out Danny's office window to see Chin and Kono showing Toast the video. "That was different. He didn't have Beth. This time he has Danny." He could tell from Josef's silence that Steve had him almost roped in. "Josef," Steve said, lowering his voice. "You remember what it was like, right after she died?"

"Okay," Josef said after a few seconds. "I'm heading for my plane right now."

"Thank you."

Steve put the phone in his pocket and pushed off Danny's desk. He picked up one of the pictures of Danny and Grace, Steve's favorite. He'd taken it with his phone a few weeks ago behind his house. They'd had a lazy day on the beach, just the three of them. Grace and Danny both had pink noses from the sun and wide smiles, and they looked so happy it made Steve's heart flip a little to look at it.

He didn't want to ever have to tell Grace that anything had happened to Danny, and he sure as hell didn't want it to be his fault.

He put the picture down and went back to the bullpen, where Chin, Kono and Toast were waiting for him. "We managed to track the guy about a block," Chin said. "But he disappeared down an alley and that's the last we saw of him."

"It's okay," Steve said. "He'll contact us."

Chin and Kono exchanged looks. "Who is he?" Kono asked after a moment.

"His name is Lance," Steve said, folding his arms over his chest like that would somehow protect him. "And he's a vampire."

The look they exchanged this time clearly said they thought the situation had gotten to him. "Uh, Steve," Chin said slowly, "did you say a vampire?"

Steve nodded. "I know this sounds crazy."

"Nah, man," Toast said. "I know three vamps on Oahu alone."

Chin and Kono's heads whipped around in Toast's direction as fast as Steve's did. "You what?" Steve asked, sure he was either joking or using 'vamp' as a term for something else.

"Yeah, I mean, it's not like they go advertising it, but Devon's lived here for like a hundred years or something."

Steve stared at him. "You know actual vampires?"

"What? You do, too, right? I mean you just said--"

"I know what I said, but...."A scary thought occurred to Steve. "You're not a vampire, are you?"

Toast laughed. "No way, man. Blood's not my idea of a great drug. But...you meet people who, um, need things."

Steve knew that tone, and realized Toast meant 'illegal' things. Vampires would need false identities after a while, and who better than an expert hacker to give them online trails? "Okay, so you know vampires." Great, one person convinced.

Of course, that left Chin and Kono, who were still looking at both Steve and Toast like they'd lost their minds. "I know it's hard to wrap your mind around it," Steve said, "but I'm serious. And the faster you accept it, the faster we can find Danny."

Kono and Chin exchanged another look. "It's not that we don't believe you," Kono started.

"But there's no such thing, right?" Steve nodded. "How about this, then? I was born in 1922. I was turned into a vampire in 1952. And until recently, I've had to take a cure every six months to stay human."

Kono's "You were a vampire?" mixed in with Toast's "There's a cure?"

Steve answered both with one yes.

"So," Chin said, still not looking like he was entirely buying it, "in six months or so you'll turn back without a cure?"

Steve shook his head. "Not anymore. We found a cure that was permanent." Steve nodded at the screen, where Lance's picture was still frozen in place. "My guess is that's what Lance is here about."

"He wants the cure?" Kono asked.

"Well, he doesn't want me to have it." Steve gave a half shrug. "And he might need some by now, who knows? It's kind of complicated."

There was another look between Chin and Kono. "Sounds like we're going to need the whole story if we're going to help Danny," Chin said.

***

By the time Steve was done giving them the information they needed, in between searching for Danny, Josef was an hour out, and they still had no more leads on where Danny had vanished to from a busy Honolulu street. HPD had canvassed the area, but nobody had noticed anything. Or if they had, they weren't talking.

Steve missed the days when he could call Catherine and redirect a satellite, but given his recent adventure in Afghanistan, he was pretty sure any contacts willing to help would get into too much trouble to risk it. Though if he reminded Walters about that little incident in Kabul--

His phone buzzed, and he looked at it almost absently at first, not recognizing the phone number. It took a second for it to register that it was a picture of Danny, tied to a chair. "Chin!" Steve all but threw the phone at him. "Can you trace that?"

Toast and Kono leaned over the phone as well. "That's an IP address," Toast said.

"What?" Steve asked.

"An IP address," Toast repeated, pointing at a number below the picture. "It's--it's the number version of a website. Like www.google.com, but with numbers."

"Can you trace it?"

Toast shrugged. "I can try, along with the picture, but I'm guessing whoever sent this wants you to go to it."

"Then go."

"I'll go," Chin said to Toast. "You trace."

Toast waited until Chin had the IP address before taking the phone over to his laptop. Chin pulled up a website with nothing but a black box on it and swiped it up onto the overhead.

"I don't get it," Steve said. "What's the--"

The box flickered, and then came to life to show Danny in the same room as the picture, tied to the same chair. It was too dark to see any real details, though Steve thought he could make out a floral pattern of some kind on the walls, which could mean they were anywhere in Hawaii.

"It's been a long time, St. John," a voice off camera said. Lance's voice, Steve recognized it instantly, and the knowledge made the last hope Steve had had of being wrong fade away. "Oh, I'm sorry, it's McGarrett now. How embarrassing."

Steve looked at Chin. "Can he hear me?"

Chin studied the screen for a second, then clicked on something that looked like a microphone, and nodded at Steve.

"I don't know where Coraline is," Steve said, hoping that maybe that was all this was, that if Lance was looking for her, this could be over soon, hopefully without any more harm to Danny.

Lance's laugh wasn't encouraging. "I am fully aware of that," he said. "Just as I am fully aware of my sister's whereabouts."

That was also not encouraging. "Then I don't know what you want."

"Word gets around," Lance said, the camera bouncing just a little a moment before he appeared next to Danny. "My sister foolishly took what was left of the cure and gave it to you. I want it back."

"I gave you everything I had from Coraline the day you took her with you," Steve said.

"But that wasn't the last time it was taken from me."

Steve raised an eyebrow. "I think I more than paid for that," he said, trying not to sound like his teeth were trying to merge into each other his jaw was so tight. Because he'd paid with Beth's life, and that price was more than too high.

"That is a matter of opinion. And that doesn't change what was taken after that."

Which didn't make any sense, but that wasn't really the important thing. "It doesn't matter either way," Steve said. "I don't have any cure to give you."

"That is unfortunate," Lance said, moving closer to Danny, and Steve's hands clenched into fists as Lance put a hand on Danny's shoulder. "What happened twenty years ago was such a shame. Such a waste. I would hate for history to repeat itself."

Chin muted the microphone. "You have to keep him talking," Chin said, nodding over to where Kono was now hovering over Toast at his laptop. "The longer he stays on, the better our chances of finding Danny."

Steve moved over beside Chin, hiding his face. "Can he see Toast is tracking?"

"No, the webcam isn't on, he can only hear you."

"Good."

Steve nodded at Chin, who turned the microphone back on. "There's no need to hurt Detective Williams," Steve said. "I told you, I don't have any cure to give you."

Lance considered that for a moment. "Do you know I actually believe you don't have it?" He shook his head. "But I also know that you have taken it. And recently. Or you wouldn't be human." Lance leaned down, taking a long sniff of Danny's neck. "I can smell you on him, but it's human you."

Steve gripped the table, and he felt one of Chin's hands on his shoulder just long enough to calm him down. Going into a rage against Lance wasn't going to do Danny any good. "I took the last of it," Steve said. "So there's nothing left."

Lance cocked his head. "Interesting," he said. "True, but not true. I know there are rumors of a new batch of it. So even if you don't have it, I'm sure you can find it if you are properly motivated."

"You hurt him," Steve said, letting nothing but steel in his voice, "and you'll get nothing but a flamethrower."

Lance laughed. "I'm not going to hurt him," he said. "Well, not long term." Steve didn't like the sound of that, liked it even less when Lance said, "I'm going to give him a gift."

"What's that, a knife to cut his ropes and a ride home?"

That laugh was getting annoying. "Not quite," Lance said, as he ripped the tape off of Danny's mouth.

"Steven, if you give in to this guy, I will never forgive you."

"Danny, just stay quiet," Steve said.

Lance moved around behind Danny, tilting Danny's head to one side, and Steve wanted to jump through the screen, wanted to scream, to do something, anything. But all he could do was keep Lane talking while Toast traced the IP address. "I thought you were supposed to be this big bad guy," Steve said. "But you have to tie up someone just to take a little sip?"

"Oh, I'm going to take more than a sip," Lance said, his finger tracing its way down Danny's neck. "Last chance," Lance said. "Tell me where the cure is, or tell him goodbye."

Steve's "Lance, you hurt him, I swear I'll kill you!" mixed in with Danny's, "Do not give in to this asshole, Steven!"

Lance just laughed again. "These mortals," he said, shaking his head like a small child had just asked a silly question. "Always so quick to give up what are such short, inconsequential lives to begin with." He tilted his head. "Maybe I should help him understand what he is throwing away."

Steve stared in horror as Lance's fangs came out as he ducked his head. He bit into Danny's neck, and Danny's cry would haunt Steve for the rest of his life, whatever happened. He had caused this. This was his fault. Just like Beth, like John, like all the people he hadn't been able to save.

He watched as Danny weakened, unable to take his eyes off the screen, even though he knew preventing this was already too late. There was only one hope left now, and Steve was betting Danny's life that he had understood Lance's meaning correctly.

Danny stopped moving, and Lance lifted his head, blood dripping down his chin. "What do you think, Steven? Should I let him make that noble sacrifice he was so quick to volunteer for?"

"I think the same thing I thought before," Steve said. "He dies, so do you. Permanently."

No threat, just a promise, and apparently the steel in Steve's voice came through the audio connection this time. "Hm. I suppose this would be far more motivating."

Steve watched as Lance bit his own wrist and held it over Danny's mouth until Danny started to drink. Steve couldn't look at anyone else in the room now, not after admitting that he'd done this himself, after knowing they all knew exactly what he'd been, and that he'd let this happen.

He didn't care at this point that it had happened. He only cared that a turned Danny was still an alive Danny, and there was still a cure that could fix it.

He watched as Danny started the transformation, still remembering the way that felt, thankful for Danny's sake that the room was dark. Danny still flinched from what little light there was, even as he looked around like he wasn't quite sure what had happened yet.

Steve felt a little like a coward when he hoped he'd be spared the recognition in Danny's eyes when he realized.

"Are you suitably motivated to find the cure now?" Lance asked.

"Give me Danny back and we'll talk."

"I think not." Lance stroked Danny's hair like he was a new pet, and Steve tamped down on his rage once more. "You have until sundown to find the cure. I will call you then to set up a meeting."

Lance moved suddenly, and the camera went dark. The website changed to nothing but a blank white screen, no sign of a video feed. Steve turned around to look at Toast. "Did you trace it?"

"Yeah," Toast said. "We got an address."

"Good," Steve said, heading for his office. "Gear up," he said over his shoulder. "I'm going to make a call, and then we go get Danny back."

***

Part 2

Writing update...

stellarmeadow — Tue, 05 Aug 2014 23:59:36 GMT

Just a heads up, for anyone who's interested, that I've just finished the draft of the sequel to Can You Feel My Heart, which means it'll be posted soon.

Y'know, just in case you wanted to re-read that in preparation for the sequel. :)

Oh, and if you prefer to read on AO3, you can find it here.

My new book is out!

stellarmeadow — Wed, 30 Jul 2014 02:25:27 GMT

Family Ties, the sequel to my first book, Against the Odds, is out!

The book:

John and Matthew settle into London and into a long con. But will family, friends and history be too much to overcome for both the score and their relationship? Or will they find a way to put the past behind them and win big?

US | CA | UK | AU | DE | IT | MX | IN | FR | ES | JP | BR

Want a print copy? Can't wait for Amazon to stock it? Buy it here today!

Miss the first book? Get it here:

US | IN | UK | DE | FR | ES | IT | JP | BR | CA | MX | AU

fic: Clothes Make the Man (Do Crazy Things) (1/1)

stellarmeadow — Sun, 13 Jul 2014 16:40:12 GMT

Title: Clothes Make the Man (Do Crazy Things)
Author: stellarmeadow
Fandom: Hawaii Five-0
Paring: Steve/Danny
Rating: NC17
Summary: Steve's ready to eat his words about Danny and his ties after seeing him in his new suit.
Notes: For ignemferam's birthday! Happy birthday!! Thanks for all the lovely support and inspiration throughout the year!! :):)

Steve was not stupid.

Oh, he was good at playing dumb when he needed to. But he wasn't.

He'd seen the look on Danny's face when Steve had hit the top of the stairs. Had known what that face would be when he'd picked out the outfit, to be honest. Because he'd seen hints of it before, when he'd worn this, before they'd started this thing they were doing.

He just hadn't understood it until they'd started their thing.

Danny licked his lips as Steve walked down the stairs slowly, letting Danny look his fill. "Ready to go?" Steve said, as innocently as he could.

He watched as Danny swallowed before nodding. "How long is this thing?"

Steve shrugged, not missing how Danny's eyes watched the fabric move with his shoulders. "Couple of hours and we should be able to duck out." He hoped they could, anyway, because he wasn't sure either of them could last much longer."

Danno nodded. "Nice touch," he said, nodding at Steve's white jacket, "wearing the uniform. What brought that on?"

An insane need to push this thing further and see where it lands? Steve just shrugged, face blank. "It helps, sometimes, at the Governor's events."

It wasn't a lie; he had worn the uniform to a couple of fundraisers and other events as a short cut to gaining respect from the fat cats who didn't quite know how to give it to people who didn't own their own jets. But that wasn't his main purpose in wearing it tonight.

Well, except for the way it would probably get them an early exit without question.

"Helps?" Danny asked dubiously.

"We're going to be late," Steve said, heading for the door.

Danny followed behind, and Steve could hear him lock the door as Steve got into the car. It let Steve enjoy the view as Danny walked out to the Camaro. The light gray suit was new; Steve knew that because of the way it fit. All his other suits fit like...well, like a New Jersey detective's should.

This one, though...this one had to have been tailored, at the very least. It fit perfectly in all the places Steve could see, and he cursed the fact that he hadn't been able to see it before Danny had put his jacket on.

He could see how it hugged Danny's thighs as Danny lowered himself into the car and closed the door. "Steve?" Danny said after a moment.

"Yeah?"

"Did you forget how to drive? Because I'd love to drive my car if that's the case."

Steve shook himself and stopped staring at Danny's thighs. "No, I'm good," he said as he started the car and pulled out of the drive. At least if he had to focus on the road he couldn't stare at Danny's thighs. Much.

They hadn't gone far before Steve realized that close confines of the car brought its own distraction, even if he couldn't stare. Because Danny smelled amazing. Steve recognized the cologne. Grace had given it to Danny for Father's Day, and Danny wore it frequently.

Steve had started avoiding the men's fragrance section of stores because of the inevitable reaction if he smelled it.

"Steve."

Steve jerked his head over to look at Danny. "Yeah?"

"Green light," Danny said, nodding out the windshield.

"Sorry."

Steve took off, aware of Danny's eyes on him as he drove the rest of the way to the fundraiser. He managed to park the car without further incident, jumping out of the car and falling into step beside Danny on the way into the Hilton.

The party had been laid out on a large grassy area of the hotel, with food and drinks around the edges, and soft Hawaiian music playing at just the right volume. Steve spared a moment to look at the nice, moonlit beach that had a lot fewer people on it and a lot less light. He'd much rather be out there with Danny.

Well, actually, he'd much rather be at home with Danny, but if he went too far down that train of thought he'd derail.

"Okay," Danny said, and Steve managed to look at him without looking like he was going to rip his clothes off. He hoped. "Let's divide and conquer."

"What?"

"I'll take that side of the party," Danny said, waving his hand at the left side, "and you take the other one, and we'll meet in the middle. Cover more ground and maybe get out of here faster?"

Steve's first instinct was to say no, absolutely not, no way. He didn't want to be more than an arm's length away from Danny, didn't want to share.

Then he looked at Danny again, in that suit, with the tie that matched his eyes and made Steve think up a whole list of interesting things he could use that tie for.

"Right, divide and conquer." Steve cleared his throat. "Meet you in the middle in an hour."

He watched Danny walk away before shaking himself and turning to go in the opposite direction. He ran into the chief of police, someone he was under orders to always be extra nice to at these functions, because apparently it went a long way towards making up for all the complaining HPD did through the year about cleaning up 5-0's messes. As if the messes they had to clean up wouldn't be worse--and with a much higher body count--if 5-0 wasn't so effective? Surely that was worth a little mess now and then.

The chief was full of praise for their latest accomplishments, of course, bragging about them to the rich donors he'd been talking to as if the chief had personally supervised each arrest. Steve had long ago learned not to show up a bureaucrat unless absolutely necessary, and he did happen to have some respect for the long history of success this particular chief had before he'd become a bureaucrat, so he smiled and nodded and let his eyes wander.

A mistake, as it turned out, as his eyes seemed to be tuned into Danny's location like a compass needle. He found Danny talking with two women dripping in jewels, each with a hand on one of Danny's arms. From the feral looks on their faces, Steve wondered if he might have to go break up a cat fight over Danny's attention--which would not go well for anyone involved, Steve included.

"Isn't that right, Commander?"

Steve turned back to the chief, trying to figure out what he'd just been saying. Lower crime rate, right. "Absolutely. We're happy to be contributing to the safety of the citizens of Oahu," Steve said, "but we couldn't do it without the excellent men and women of Honolulu's finest."

He put a hand on the chief's shoulder, eyeing the donors, seeing they were impressed. Good. God knows every branch of law enforcement needed all the public support it could get. "I see someone I need to say hello to, if you'll excuse me," Steve said to the group.

After their nods and smiles, Steve moved along, stopping to talk to the councilman he recognized from a particularly nasty set of death threat letters that 5-0 had rounded up the sender of before it could escalate beyond paper and pen. The man introduced Steve to the group he was talking with, and Steve smiled and nodded and acted as if he and the councilman were best friends.

Just because he hated this side of his job didn't mean he hadn't learned how to do it well.

He couldn't help constant glances at Danny, who he'd really started to think he was going to have to go pull away from the women who still had a stranglehold on his arms. Those arms were Steve's, and they'd been touching a little too long for his liking.

He was thinking about making his excuses when Danny managed to extricate himself and move on to a group of older donors who Steve was pretty sure had zero designs on Danny's person.

"Sorry?" Steve said to the councilman, having missed what he'd said completely.

"I was saying it would be great if you could come to my fundraiser next week," the man repeated. "I'm running for re-election this fall."

Steve gave him a practiced smile. "I'd love to, if we're not busy with a case. You have my email address?" At the man's nod, Steve said, "send me the information and we'll see if we can stop by."

It had the desired effect of making the councilman happy and making him not mind when Steve moved on to the next group. He realized his mistake in stopping as he took in the four women who looked like they were from that real housewives show he'd caught Danny watching one day. The moment he stopped, it was as if four lions had just spotted a steak. Before he knew what had happened, he had a woman on each arm, and two others who looked like they were trying to decide how to rip the women off him.

"It must be a very stressful job," the woman latched onto his right arm said, stroking Steve's bicep. "What do you do to relax?"

Steve searched for Danny, finding him watching with a frown, as if Steve somehow had something to do with how he was being mauled. "What was that?" Steve asked the woman.

"I was just wondering how you wound down after a long day of fighting crime."

He understood now where the term cougar came from, because she sounded like a large cat purring before it pounced. "Um," Steve said, seeing Danny's frown deepen as the woman moved a little closer, as if she couldn't hear without being plastered on Steve, "I like to go to the range."

"The range?"

"Yes, ma'am," he said, noticing Danny was starting to look like he was about to come over there. "The shooting range."

Her laugh was like a whole shelf of bells had fallen on the floor at once. "Surely that's not relaxing."

"Oh you'd be surprised," he said. "Focusing on shooting the target center mass as many times as possible, it's like meditation. But with bullets."

"How...interesting," she said, letting go of his arm.

It only seemed to make the other women more interested, though, and one of them moved to take her place, but he extracted himself before she could, pulling the other woman's arm off him and making his apologies. "I need to try to speak with the governor," he said. "Excuse me."

He glanced back at Danny, who had been pulled into conversation with an older woman whose glass of red wine was too full as she used it to gesture at Danny. He winced a second before the wine spilled over, sloshing onto the lapel of Danny's jacket.

If she'd ruined that spectacular suit, Steve was arresting her and losing the key for the night.

Danny pulled the jacket off, and Steve got his first view of Danny's ass in the perfectly tailored pants. He zoned out for a few seconds, his mouth going dry, and when he tuned back into the world, Danny was walking towards the men's room, jacket over his arm.

Steve didn't think, he just moved, making it to the bathroom a few seconds behind Danny. He put his hand on Danny's shoulder, guiding him straight into the stall in front of them and closing the door behind them.

"Steven," Danny said, as Steve whirled around and shoved Danny against the stall door, "we're in public, you can't just--"

Steve didn't give him a chance to tell him what he couldn't just do. He captured the words with his mouth, drinking them in along with the taste of Danny's mouth, already his favorite addiction, even after just a couple of weeks.

He wondered if maybe they should've just taken vacation when they'd first slept together, spent a week or two off on another island, if maybe that would've made it easier to spend all day together without showing how much they wanted to find the nearest private spot and get naked.

No, he realized, as he lifted his head and looked down at Danny's swollen lips and dazed expression. Two weeks in bed wouldn't have even begun to scratch this itch. Two years might be a start. Maybe.

"You're a Neanderthal," Danny said fondly, his hands drifting down to Steve's ass.

"Neanderthals don't wear uniforms," Steve said.

Danny tilted his head, considering that, making Steve want to kiss him again. "Sure they do. Even a monkey can get dressed up."

Steve smacked the nearest part of Danny's anatomy, which just happened to be his ass, earning him a flush and a look that made Steve wonder if anyone would notice if they had sex right there in the bathroom.

"We are not having sex in the bathroom," Danny said.

"I didn't say anything."

"No, but I know that look. I have become very familiar with that look over the last couple of weeks, and because of that, I know to say 'We are not having sex in the bathroom,' before you can shut me up and I lose the will to say it."

Danny gave him one more long kiss before sliding out from the space between Steve's body and the door. "The sooner we get back out there," Danny said, "the sooner we can go home."

Hearing Danny call Steve's house 'home' was almost as satisfying as the kiss had been, though he really wanted more kissing after that. "Okay," Steve said, taking a step back and locking his hands in front of him, trying to quell his erection. "Fix the damage to your jacket and let's go finish off our respective sides of the party and get the hell out of here. Deal?"

Danny nodded, pulling the bathroom stall open and waving Steve out. "You first."

"Don't trust me?" Steve asked as he walked out, not that he really blamed Danny. One more view of Danny's ass....

"I know you," Danny said. "And while we were lucky that no one came in while we were in there, I am sure that someone will need the bathroom at some point, and I do not plan to end this evening being busted for public indecency."

Steve scrubbed a hand over his face, the mental image of that arrest managing to dampen his erection. "Fix your jacket," Steve said. "I'll see you in the middle of the party."

He walked out without looking back, just to be safe, and resumed his mingling down his side of the room. A few minutes later, he saw Danny leave the restroom, and tracked Danny's progress through his side of the room, keeping pace so that they reached the governor, who was holding court in the middle, at the same time.

"And here they are, the number one reason for the success in reducing the crime rate in Honolulu," the governor told those around him.

"Thanks to your cooperation and that of the Honolulu Police Department," Steve said, knowing from experience that the more he played the part, the easier it would be to get out of there quickly.

He and Danny answered questions for a few minutes, giving the governor's biggest donors--Steve had no doubt from the way the governor was acting that's who these people were--a show, before Steve figured it was safe to start working on an exit strategy. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and stepped away, putting it up to his ear as if he'd gotten a call.

"McGarrett," he said, in case anyone was listening. After a moment, he said, "Can't it wait?" He frowned. "Okay. We'll be there."

He turned back to the governor and his group. "I apologize, but Detective Williams and I need to go."

The governor's frown was one of concern, Steve thought, not annoyance at their departure. "Is everything okay?"

Steve nodded. "Just an informant with some information. He's leaving tonight, so we need to go meet with him. I'm sorry."

"Of course. Thank you for coming."

They said their goodbyes to the rest of the group and hurried towards the garage. Once they were away from the party, Danny asked, "Who's our informant?"

"Nobody," Steve said, looking both ways before guiding Danny across the street. "There's no informant. There was no phone call."

"I can't believe you," Danny said.

Steve turned his head to look at him as they hurried up the stairs to the car. "You have a problem with my methods?"

"No, I just didn't think you were a good enough liar to pull that off."

Steve laughed as he unlocked the car. "I can lie my ass off when I'm highly motivated."

"Good to know," Danny said.

Steve peeled out of the parking space and pointed the car towards home as fast as he could get it there. He couldn't even look at Danny; he'd been keyed up far too long, and just the smell of Danny was enough to drive him crazy. He focused all of his attention on the road, because having a wreck would only prolong the wait, and he was so over waiting to get Danny naked tonight.

He managed to throw the car into neutral, yank the emergency brake, pull the keys out of the ignition and get the door open almost all at once, and was at the front door in record time, Danny hot on his heels. Steve barely had the front door closed behind them before he was pulling Danny in for a kiss.

Two kisses later, Danny was pushing him away. "Nonono..." he said, though he pulled in for one more kiss before pushing again. "Upstairs."

Steve grabbed at the crisp fabric of Danny's jacket, feeling it slide out of his hands as Danny stepped back, holding Steve at arm's length. "Upstairs."

Letting out a growl, Steve complied, but he grabbed Danny's hand, dragging him along to make sure he was right behind. When they reached the bedroom, Steve took off his cover, placing it on the dresser, but when he reached for his jacket, Danny grabbed his hands.

"No," Danny said, pushing Steve's hands down by his sides. "I have been doing this in my head all night. You're not taking it away from me."

Steve raised an eyebrow. "It'll be a lot easier to do me all night if I'm naked, Danny."

"That is not what I meant. Just...let me...." Danny took a deep breath, and Steve noticed a slight tremor to Danny's hands as he raised them to the buttons on Steve's jacket. The sight sent an extra jolt of heat through Steve's body. He had been so busy controlling his need that he hadn't noticed Danny literally shaking with his own.

Danny's hands hovered over the buttons, his eyes on Steve, waiting for permission. Steve swallowed carefully, relaxing his body, leaving it open to Danny. "All yours, babe."

Danny's nostrils flared a moment before his hands started on Steve's buttons, pulling them out of their holes slowly, as if the task required complete concentration. He slid the jacket carefully down Steve's arms, the brush of his body against Steve's as he reached around to make sure the jacket didn't fall to the floor almost as much torture as the loss of the touch a moment later.

Steve watched as Danny hung up the jacket carefully, buttoning the buttons back before he stalked back across the room. Danny's hands landed on Steve's belt, removing it with a soft slithering sound of leather on fabric that sounded loud to Steve's ears.

Almost as loud as his breathing, as Danny's hands worked Steve's fly open, fingertips ghosting over Steve's cock. Steve shivered, eyes closing for a brief moment before opening again to watch Danny kneeling to pull Steve's pants down, stopping to take off Steve's shoes and put them neatly by the foot of the bed before pulling off his socks and tossing them aside.

He pulled Steve's feet out of the pants one at a time, standing and crossing the room to hang the pants up as carefully as he had the jacket. Steve couldn't help but notice Danny's eyes going straight to the obvious erection Steve's briefs were barely holding in as he walked back across the room, but he didn't seem to be in a hurry.

Steve's hands were balled into fists by his side to keep from grabbing Danny and throwing him on the bed. He'd given Danny carte blanche; he couldn't back down now. Danny knelt down in front of Steve once more, pulling Steve's briefs down and tossing them aside, his hands running up the length of Steve's legs, leaving goose bumps in their wake.

Danny's fingertips trailed up the length of Steve's cock, and Steve locked every muscle, using all of his physical abilities not to thrust forward. He couldn't quite stop the sound that escaped his lips, though, one that made Danny glance up. The heat in his eyes forced another sound out of Steve's throat, a low growl that accompanied Steve's loss of control as his hips moved forward just a little.

The move put a glint in Danny's eye, and Steve couldn't help but do it again when Danny wrapped his hand around the base of Steve's cock and took the tip into his mouth. He slid his lips off quickly, repeating the move a few times when Steve groaned at the combination of that wet heat and the sight of his cock disappearing into Danny's mouth.

He was pretty sure that sight was one thing he'd never get used to.

He whimpered when Danny let him go and rose to his feet. Enough of the teasing. Steve reached up for Danny's tie, but Danny batted his hand away.

"Danny...." Steve barely recognized his own voice, the need there, but he'd been staring at Danny in that suit all night. He needed to touch.

Danny's smile was devilish as he walked around behind Steve. "I spent a lot of money on this suit," Danny said. "I think I should get my money's worth."

Steve was about to tell him he could wear it another time, but before he could, Danny gave him a little push, and Steve found himself face down on the bed, lying sideways across it, ass in the air. He didn't have a chance to complain, though, before Danny's hands were running their way down Steve's thighs, and then, a moment later--

"Fuck!"

The word was muffled by the bedspread as Steve pushed back against Danny's tongue, where it was pressing into Steve's ass. "Fuck...Danny...." Steve clutched at the bedspread, searching for any kind of leverage to get his ass higher, to get Danny's tongue deeper. "Fuck."

"In a minute," Danny said, his voice dark, his breath gusting over Steve's hole, making him shiver. He pushed his hips back, silently demanding, and was rewarded as Danny went back to work with his tongue.

Steve had just worked up a rhythm when Danny stopped, forcing a groan out of Steve. Steve heard a drawer open, and twisted his head around to see Danny reaching into the nightstand. He pulled out the lube and a condom, and Steve thought he might cry if he had to wait for Danny to take off that suit before he got Danny inside him.

Danny made no move to undress, though. He dropped the tube and the packet onto the bed beside Steve and ran his hands down Steve ass and the backs of his thighs. Steve closed his eyes, pushing up into the stroking rhythm, the friction of the bedspread just the right side of painful on his sensitive cock.

Danny gripped Steve's hips and pulled, arranging Steve's ass in the air, and removing all traces of friction from Steve's cock. Steve bit down on the side of his cheek as he heard the tube click open. Seconds later Danny's fingers were pushing into him, better than Danny's tongue, wider and harder, almost what Steve wanted, what he needed there.

"Danny, please...."

Danny's hand that was still gripping Steve's hip tightened for a few strokes before Danny pulled his fingers out, letting go of Steve's hip at the same time. Steve turned his head again and gulped in air, eyes slitted just enough to see Danny's hands finally moving to the fly of his pants.

Steve closed his eyes again, trying to blot out how many precious moments would be spent waiting for Danny to get naked before he was inside Steve. To Steve's surprise, though, it was only a matter of seconds before he felt Danny lining himself up against Steve and pressing his cock inside.

He realized why when Danny bottomed out. Steve could feel Danny's clothes, the crisp hem of his dress shirt brushing over Steve's ass, the soft slither of the silk tie along Steve's lower back, and the scrape of a zipper along Steve's thigh.

He wished for a mirror or a camera, some way to see what it looked like, Danny, his pants hanging off his ass and around his thighs as he drove into Steve's body. "Fuck...." Steve couldn't help the word, and a series of broken babble at just the mental image.

Steve slipped his hand down to grab his cock, pulling slowly on it, matching Danny's rhythm for several strokes before Danny stopped, buried deep inside Steve's body, then pulled out completely.

Steve was going to kill him.

"Danny," he said, his voice what he hoped was a menacing growl.

From the low chuckle behind him, however, Steve suspected he sounded less than threatening. "Here," Danny said, pulling Steve to his knees so Danny could lie on his back on the bed, head propped on a pillow. "I just realized that the suit is half wasted if you couldn't see it."

Steve rather thought the suit was far from wasted, but he would never complain about getting to look at Danny, especially if it was during sex. So he straddled Danny's thighs, the fabric prickling Steve's thighs as Steve raised up and lowered himself a few times, his cock brushing against Danny's, before Steve moved forward, lowering himself back down onto Danny's cock.

Much better, Steve thought. Not that it hadn't been spectacular before, but getting to see Danny's face, to enjoy the image of Danny, fully clothed except for his cock, lying back and letting Steve ride him, that was worth all the torture that night.

Steve rolled his hips, eyes trained on how Danny's teeth sunk into his lower lips as his hands gripped Steve's thighs. When he could feel Danny's nails digging into the skin, Steve shifted, leaning forward, pushing the suit jacket out of the way. He lowered his head, still pushing up and down with his hips, and traced the outline of Danny's right nipple through the fabric of the dress shirt.

Danny's nails dug in, short though they were, as he yelled out something Steve thought was a combination of his name and fuck. Steve made sure the shirt was nice and wet, and Danny's nipple standing up, before he moved to the other one.

By the time that one was wet enough for Steve's liking, Danny was muttering broken words that made no sense. Steve sat back up, still moving his hips. He could see Danny was close, loved that he recognized that look on Danny's face that said he was close, so close.

He wrapped Danny's tie around his hand once, using it to pull Danny up into a long, wet kiss as Steve angled his hips a little different, pulling a little sharper, tightening himself around Danny's cock just enough.

Danny cried out, and Steve swallowed the sound as Danny pushed hard into him one time, stiffening. Steve could feel Danny's cock pulsing even with the condom between them, and he let go of the tie so Danny could flop back onto the bed, spent.

Steve thrust a few more times, wrapping his hand around his cock to bring himself off quickly. He came, getting higher as he saw the stripes he made across that shirt and the tie, a few drops covering the faint stains of red wine from the party earlier.

Thighs protesting, Steve lifted himself off Danny's cock so he could drop down beside him, one leg thrown over both of Danny's. He breathed into Danny's ear for a while as his body cooled.

Steve moved his leg, loving the feel of the fabric against his skin. "I like your new suit," he said, finally. "Did I mention that?"

Danny's laugh shook the bed. "I got that impression," he said, turning so Steve had to shift back, their faces close on the edges of both pillows. "That means you'll be paying the dry cleaning bill after all this, right?"

Steve shrugged. "Whatever it costs, it was worth it."

Danny's smile softened into one that Steve had seen a few times, but hadn't translated yet. He wanted to know what it meant, why it gave him such a warm feeling inside, but he couldn't ask. Not yet.

Maybe the next time Danny wore the suit, he'd get up the nerve to ask.

"We should probably clean up," Steve said reluctantly.

"In a hurry to get rid of me?"

As if. "No, I just--it'd be a shame to ruin that suit." Steve smiled. "Especially after you took such good care of my uniform."

"The uniform means something," Danny said quietly. "This is just a suit."

"No, it's not," Steve said. "Not when it's on you."

And there was that smile again. Steve had a feeling the meaning was the same as whatever he'd felt in his own words, but he didn't quite know what that was either.

It didn't matter. They had time to figure that out. "Come on," Steve said, sitting up, pulling Danny up with him. "Get out of the suit."

"Will you make it worth my while?"

Steve leaned in, his mouth close to Danny's ear. "If you get out of the suit and into the shower, I promise to break the three minute rule."

"Promise to wash my hair and you've got a deal."

"Deal."

---
END

fic: I Promise (1/1)

stellarmeadow — Wed, 09 Jul 2014 01:40:53 GMT

Title: I Promise
Author: stellarmeadow
Fandoms: Hawaii Five-0
Parings: Steve McGarrett/Danny Williams
Rating: PG13 (For language)
Summary: Grace asks Steve for birthday promises.
Notes: I needed some fluff for a small break between long, angsty stories. Believe me, this is all fluff, take an insulin shot before you read it, etc. I just really wanted some Steve and Gracie. :) Hope you enjoy!

The scene kept playing itself over and over in his head, like a video loop Steve couldn't turn off. He heard the shot, saw Danny fall, felt the blood spilling out of Danny's side as Steve tried to stop it.

A small hand slid into Steve's, effectively putting the video loop in his head into the background as Steve looked down at Grace. Rachel had gone to get Grace something to eat, because she'd refused to leave until Danny woke up. Grace had been silently by Steve's side next to the bed for the last couple of hours since Danny had come out of surgery.

"He's going to wake up, uncle Steve, right?"

Those eyes were so trusting as she looked up at him. "Danno's a fighter, Gracie. He'll wake up."

She nodded, looking back at Danny, so still in the hospital bed. Steve searched for a distraction. "Hey," he said, after a moment. "Your thirteenth birthday is tomorrow. That's a big birthday. What do you think you're going to get?"

Grace blinked up at him. "I know what I want you to give me for my birthday."

"What's that?"

"I want you to promise that Danno will always come home."

Shit. How did he answer that? No one could make that promise about anyone, but the last thing he wanted was to upset her any further right now. "Grace...."

"Promise."

"You know my dad was a cop, right?"

She nodded. "Daddy told me."

"Well, I used to pray for the same thing about my dad, every night, that he'd come home tomorrow," Steve said. "But when I got older, I realized that no one could promise that. About anyone, not just my dad." He left out the part where his mother's death taught him that lesson. "But," he said, before she could get too upset, "I can promise you this. I will do everything in my power to make sure he does get home. As long as I can get him back to you, I will. You have my word."

She looked at him for a long time before she nodded. "Promise?"

"I promise."

"If you're promising my daughter a pony," Danny's sleepy, rough voice said from the bed, "it's staying at your house."

***

Steve's phone buzzed in his pocket, making a weird metallic noise where his hip was pressed against the fender of the Marquis. He put the tools down on the car and wiped his hand on his jeans before pulling the phone out of his pocket.

Grace's face grinned up at him, a selfie she'd taken with his phone a few months before. He couldn't help smiling as he answered the phone. "What's up, Gracie?"

"Hi Uncle Steve! Are you coming to my birthday party tomorrow?"

"Wouldn't miss it, you know that."

"Good." There was a slight pause that left him a little worried, and her next words didn't help. "Uncle Steve...remember last year I asked you for something on my birthday, and you gave me a promise?"

He did. It was the easiest promise he'd ever made, since his focus had more or less always been on making sure Danny got home to Grace. "I do."

"I was thinking, and I decided I want another promise from you for my birthday this year."

"And what would that promise be?" Steve asked.

"Promise me you'll kiss Danno?"

Steve dropped the phone. He scrambled to pick it up to ask, "What?"

"Promise me that you will kiss Danno. Because the two of you are idiots, and if someone doesn't do something, you'll keep being idiots."

Spoken with all the worldly knowledge a fourteen-year-old thought she had. "Gracie, I, uh...where did you get the idea, um...."

"Uncle Steve," she said, and Steve wondered if speaking in italics came embedded in the Williams DNA, "do you, or do you not, want to kiss my dad?"

The interrogation gene apparently came embedded in the Williams DNA as well. "Um, Grace, I'm not sure this is a conversation--"

"Agh! Boys!" Grace's exasperated tone was also one hundred percent Danny, and Steve couldn't help smiling at it. "You like him, he likes you. Just kiss already, would you? I'm getting old over here!"

He covered the phone to hide his laughter, because he didn't want her to think he was laughing at her. "Gracie," he said, after he'd managed to calm his laughter, "you..." His brain finally caught up with what she'd said. "You really think Danno likes me?"

"Seriously, if all boys are this stupid, I am never getting married."

Steve muffled his laughter again. "You really want me to kiss Danno for your birthday?" he asked after a moment.

"Well, maybe not at my party, but um...a promise to kiss him? Soon?"

Steve took a deep breath. She had no idea what she was asking him to risk. But it wasn't like he hadn't thought about kissing Danny. Occasionally. Once or twice...an hour. At least. "Okay."

"You'll kiss him?"

"Yes. I'll kiss him."

"Soon?"

Steve felt a little panic rise up inside him at the thought, but he couldn't deny Grace. Or himself, not if this might really work. "Soon."

"This week?"

"Yes, this week." Now he couldn't back out, because he'd promised Grace.

He recognized her satisfied sigh as Danny's genetics as well. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Though if this worked, he should be thanking her instead.

"Um...Uncle Steve?"

"Yes?"

"I have another promise to ask."

He braced himself for what might come next, because if she asked for a baby brother or sister he was not going to be held responsible for his response. "What's that?"

"Can you maybe promise not to tell Danno we had this conversation?"

He laughed softly. "I promise."

***

"You sure you don't mind having Grace's birthday party here this weekend?' Danny asked, handing Steve a bowl to take out to the table.

"Of course I'm sure. You guys are welcome here anytime, for anything, you know that."

He wondered if Danny knew just how welcome he was, that Steve would be perfectly fine with him staying forever, but Danny didn't seem to realize it.

"Okay. As long as you're sure."

"I am." Steve gave Danny a quick kiss. "So stop asking."

"Yes, sir, Commander sir."

Steve rolled his eyes, but there was a smile on his face as he turned and took the food into the dining room. He was about to go back to the kitchen, until he spotted Grace on the lanai, her face dimly light by the screen of her phone.

Grace jumped as he opened the door, relaxing when she saw him. "Where's Dad?" she asked.

"In the kitchen. Do you want me to go get him?"

"No!" She bit her lower lip. "I mean, no, I, uh...I wanted to talk to you."

Steve pulled up the nearest chair to sit next to her. "What's up?"

"Well, my birthday's in a couple of days...."

He smiled, remembering her birthday request from last year, which had worked out pretty well for him and Danny both. "Sorry, kiddo, but your dad nixed the pony."

She laughed. "You know I never actually asked anyone for a pony, right?"

"I know, that's what makes it so much fun to tease you about it."

She shook her head like he made no sense, but she was amused by it anyway. "I did want to ask you for my birthday promise, though."

"Oh, so it's an automatic thing now, is it?" he said, eyebrow arched, but smiling at her.

She shrugged. "It's kind of our thing, right?"

His heart skipped a little, and he had to swallow before he could say, "Yeah." He cleared his throat. "Yeah, it's our thing."

Her huge smile always reminded him of Danny's. "So I was thinking maybe this year, you could maybe get Danno to, um...let me go out on a date?"

The last bit was so rushed he had to clarify. "Did you say let you go out on a date?"

She nodded emphatically. "There's a dance next month, and Kai asked me, and I really wanna go, but Danno said I couldn't date until I was thirty."

"Did you ask him about the dance?"

She rolled her eyes. "No, because he said I couldn't date until I was thirty."

He managed to keep a straight face as he looked at her. "I don't know, Gracie. Who is this Kai kid?"

She gave him the rundown on Kai's family history, including that he was a cousin of Chin and Kono's. "Please, Steve. He can do a background check, I don't care, but come on. Talk to him."

Steve pretended to hesitate. "Gracie...."

"Come on, I got the two of you together, didn't I? I know a few things about dating."

He couldn't hold back the laugh. "Of course I'll talk to him," he said. "I can't promise you he'll say yes. But I'll do my best."

"You can talk him into it. I heard him tell Kono you were very persuasive."

Steve choked on a laugh. "I'll see what I can do, I promise."

Her smile was worth the stroke the request was probably going to give Danny. "Thank you!" she said, jumping up to give him a hug.

Definitely worth the stroke.

***

Steve had just sat down on the couch when the door slammed open, Danny barreling in like the Tasmanian Devil. He whirled around and saw Steve on the couch. "I...she...I...." Danny threw his hands up in the air and marched upstairs without another word.

Steve looked over at the door to see Grace standing there, looking shaken. She closed the door quietly and walked over to the couch and sat down.

"What happened?" Steve asked.

"I swerved. Just a little."

Steve shrugged. "It happens."

"He said I drive worse than you," she said, glancing up at him.

Ouch. "That's just Danno. He's not happy if he's not complaining, you know that."

That got a small smile. "My birthday is next week," she said, meeting Steve's gaze. "Can I ask for my promise early?"

"Sure."

"Can you teach me how to drive? Dad makes me so nervous with all the yelling I can't even keep the car on the road."

"Yeah," Steve said, putting his arm around her and pulling her close. "Yeah, I'll get him to let me teach you."

Her heartfelt, "Thank you!" was worth the epic fight he knew was coming when he had the talk with Danny.

***

Steve was finishing up some paperwork in his office when Grace came in. He gave her a smile, hoping it didn't show how tired he was, or how strained. Eight hours sleep the night before hadn't made up for the forty-eight hours prior to it chasing down a kidnapped girl the same age as Grace, for him or for Danny.

"Hey, Gracie, aren't you supposed to be in school?"

Her nose wrinkled when he called her Gracie, as it had for the last year or so, but he didn't care. He knew she secretly loved it, even when she protested she was no longer a baby.

"Early dismissal," she said.

"Oh. If you're looking for Danno, he's not here."

She sat down on the couch. "I know. I came to talk to you."

He frowned as he realized how serious she looked. "Okay," he said, getting up and going to join her on the couch. "What's up?"

He could tell she was choosing her words carefully before she spoke again. "I wanted to get my birthday wish," she said finally.

"Your birthday isn't until next month."

"I know, but Valentine's Day is next week."

"If this is about you going somewhere overnight on a date, I'm not getting in the middle of it," Steve said quickly, mostly because he'd be the one holding the key while Danny locked her in the rendition room before he let that happen.

She rolled her eyes. "No, I'm not asking for a miracle, Steven," she said, and he laughed at how much like Danny she sounded. She fixed him with a long look. "You love Dad, right?"

"Of course. Why?"

"I want you to promise you'll ask him to marry you."

Steve stared at her. "I, uh...." He blinked, looking for words, but unable to come up with anything other than, "What?"

"I'm going to go away to college next year," Grace said, "and Danno...well, you know how he is. He needs something stable that makes him happy."

"Is this because of that psych class you've been taking this year?"

"Steve! I'm serious!"

He took a deep breath. "I can see that," he said. "But I don't know what brought this on. I'm not going anywhere, married or not. Danny's stuck with me."

"I know that, and you know that," Grace said. "But Dad...."

Steve studied her for a long moment, realizing that she was serious. And concerned. "What brought this on?"

"He just seemed sad at New Years, talking about how things change and people move on, and I know he was thinking about me leaving for school next year, and you know how he is. He just...he needs to know you're there." She held up a hand to stop him before he could protest. "I know, he does know you're there. But he's Danno. He needs...symbolism. Or words. Or, y'know, a ring."

"This has been on your mind since New Years?" Steve asked.

"Yeah, I just...I watched him the last month. He's happy with you. But...he wants what my grandparents have."

Steve took her hand. "Look, Gracie, people's relationships are hard to understand sometimes from the outside--"

"Don't give me that bullshit!"

"Grace Williams!"

She winced. "Sorry, just...." She sighed. "You remember when you were shot just before Thanksgiving?" She waited for Steve to nod before continuing. "There was a nurse--she was new, or she'd have known better--she refused to let Danno back there. Wouldn't even tell him anything. He had no idea if it was a scratch or you were in surgery. He had to call the Governor to get that battleaxe overruled."

This was all news to Steve, though he had wondered why Danny had taken over half an hour to get there. "He never said anything."

"No, I think he thought you might take it as a hint if he did."

"A hint?"

"Seriously, it is beyond me how the two of you would ever have even kissed without me pushing you."

He raised an eyebrow. "Exactly what kind of hint would it be if he told me he couldn't get back to see me at the hospital?"

"Because only family can do that."

"We are family."

"Not legally. If something happened to either of you...."

It hit him what he was saying then. He'd never thought anything of it, because he had the full backing of the governor and could push his way into a hospital anywhere on Oahu if he really wanted to.

But what if they weren't on Oahu. What if Danny went home for a visit and something happened? Or what if they got another nurse who he couldn't push through right away, and by the time he did it was too late?

"Oh...."

"You see now?" Grace asked.

Steve nodded slowly. "I just never even thought about it."

"What a surprise."

"Watch it, missy."

She rolled her eyes at him. "You're a lot less threatening when I know you can't even figure out the first thing about an adult relationship without having it pointed out by a teenager."

"I'll be a lot more threatening the next time Jason comes over if I'm cleaning my guns."

"Steve!"

"And the grenade launcher."

"Steven!"

"What's all the yelling about?" Danny asked from the door.

Steve and Grace exchanged wide-eyed glances. "Discussing my birthday," Grace said quickly.

"Did you decide where you want to have your party?" Danny asked, and to Steve's relief, he showed no signs of knowing the full extent of that conversation. "And no, a night club is not allowed."

"Let's go talk about locations in your office," she said, getting up and heading for the door. "Steve has some work to finish." She stopped to look over her shoulder. "Promise me you'll think about it?"

"I promise," he said, staring after both of them long after they were gone.

***

Steve was putting the icing on Grace's birthday cake when she came into the kitchen. "Chocolate on chocolate?" she asked.

"Would we dare serve you anything else?"

She smiled as she stuck her finger in the icing and licked it off, just giving him an innocent look when he glared at her. The innocent look never failed to work on him; she looked so much like she had when he'd first met her when she wore that expression, it was easy to forget how many years had passed. "Not bad," she said.

"You never met a chocolate you didn't like."

Her expression clearly said she knew better than to even try to argue that one. "What time are the others coming over?"

Steve checked his watch. "About ninety minutes. Why, can't wait to get out of here with--wait, what's his name?"

"As if you don't know Trevor's name, social security number, home address, parents full background and all about that one speeding ticket he has?"

He'd shook the hand of the cop who gave Trevor the ticket and commended him for keeping the kid from putting anyone's life in danger by speeding. "Trevor got a speeding ticket?"

Her eye rolls hadn't changed much over the years, and neither had their birthday tradition. "So, about my birthday promise."

"Danny and I are not having any more kids," Steve said quickly.

She laughed. "Why would you think that's what I wanted?"

"Well, you've asked for me to kiss him and to marry him, so the next logical step...." Steve teased.

"I promise you, I am happy being your only child. "

He felt the blush rise up his neck as he ducked his head. "Couldn't have asked for a better one," he said quietly. "So what promise have you come to extract from me on a birthday as big as your eighteenth?"

She eyed Steve seriously. "I want you to take care of Danno while I'm away this summer."

"You're only going to England for a three month internship," Steve said. "It's not like you're flying to the moon for a year."

"Do you remember what he was like when I was gone with Mom and Stan for a month?"

Half the criminals on the island probably still remembered that, even after four years. "Um...yeah."

"Okay, now imagine three times that, and without parental supervision."

Steve imagined it for a second before he shuddered. "Oh."

"See? So please don't let him destroy the island before I come home. Or worse," she said, a look of horror crossing her face," please, for the love of God, don't let him come get me! If he shows up in London, I swear I will tell him in excruciatingly painful detail how you had to practice your proposal for over an hour with me before you took him out to ask him to marry you last year."

"Okay," Steve said. "I promise that I will not let him worry too much about you or go crazy or hop a plane to London for no good reason." He reserved the right to be right there on the plane with a good reason, but there was no need to mention that.

She smiled. "Thank you. And since it's my eighteenth birthday, I have a second promise to ask for."

"Getting greedy as you get old, aren't you?"

She smacked him lightly on the arm. "Are you going to take this seriously?"

"Don't I take all your birthday promises seriously?"

"Yes, you do." She put on her serious face. "I want you to promise to let him take care of you, too."

"He already does."

"When you let him."

"When don't I let him?"

Grace raised an eyebrow. "'It's only a cold, Danny, I don't need the doctor,' ring a bell?"

"It was a cold--"

"It was pneumonia, Steve."

"It wasn't that bad."

"They kept you in the hospital for two days."

He supposed he couldn't really argue that one, either. "That was one time."

"I can list others." Grace put her hand on his arm. "I'm not going to be here to hit the two of you over the head about things anymore," she said, making Steve wonder exactly how many of these same types of conversations she'd had with Danny over the years, and what promises she'd extracted from him. "I need you to listen to each other so that you'll both be here and in one piece when I come home."

He could tell she was serious about this, and he got it. She might, he conceded, even have a point. "I promise that I will listen, and that I will let him take care of me if it is warranted."

"Thank you." She gave him a smile before moving in for a hug, one he returned happily. "I love you," she said.

The words made him hold her a little tighter. "I love you, too."

---
END

fic: Stay (2/2)

stellarmeadow — Sun, 06 Jul 2014 15:50:54 GMT

Title: Stay
Author: stellarmeadow
Fandoms: Hawaii Five-0, Captain America
Parings: Steve McGarrett/Danny Williams, Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes
Rating: NC17

Summary: As 5-0 investigates an assassination linked to an M.O. going back fifty years, they get more than they bargained for when Captain America and Sam Wilson show up to help.

Read Chapter 1 Here

Danny wasn't stupid. He'd known the price of calling Cap and Sam against Steve's wishes, just as he'd known he had no other choice. He'd gladly pay the price as long as it meant Steve was still around to yell at him.

He wouldn't be the one to start the fight, though. So he remained silent in the car all the way to Steve's, despite Steve's tapping his fingers on the steering wheel, despite the increasingly obnoxious music choices Steve made, all designed to annoy the hell out of Danny.

Steve waited until they were in the house, though--never a good sign--until he finally turned around to face Danny. "I can't believe you called them."

"Really? Why is that? Because the great Steve McGarrett forbade it?" Danny laughed. "News flash--we are not your subjects. We are allowed to think for ourselves."

"We could've handled it."

"Really? Did you see him pull a gun on you? Because I did."

Steve's eye roll just made Danny more annoyed. "I had it under control."

"Oh, I'm sorry, you had it under control? When he had the jump on you with his gun and you had no cover and were, what, six feet from him?"

"He didn't have the jump on me."

"Close enough." Danny moved forward, invading Steve's space, which was rarely a problem, until it was, for various reasons. "You understand that you are not bullet proof, right?"

"Danny--"

"No, really, Steve, I just want to make sure you're clear on that fact. Because I can go back and list your injuries from Afghanistan."

"Danny--"

"I am not done!" Danny took a breath. "Broken nose, collar bone fracture, sixteen stitches all together in various places, more bruises and swelling than I can really recount right now."

Steve put a hand on Danny's arm, but Danny shook him off, not backing down. "And we can go back to North Korea if you want a more Wo Fat-specific example, Steve. How many burns did they have to treat after that, huh? I can tell you how many. Fourteen. Fourteen burns. How close was Wo Fat to killing you then?"

"Danny--"

"No! I'm not stopping until you get that I have traveled to places that I never wanted to visit in my lifetime just to get you back. I did not go to North Korea and Afghanistan to save your ass just to lose you in my backyard! Do you get that?"

Steve blinked a couple of times. "Can I speak now?"

"Yes!"

Steve took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I'm sorry."

"What?" Danny could barely believe his ears.

"I'm sorry," Steve repeated. "I just...I'm used to doing the job because I could. Because I had nothing to lose, and that made me effective."

Seriously, this guy was going to give Danny a stroke. "Nothing to lose? Really? You have nothing to lose?"

"Danny--"

"So 5-0, our team? That's nothing? Grace is nothing? I'm nothing? That's why you act that way, because you think you have nothing to lose?"

"No--stop, just listen to me, okay? I had nothing to lose. That's what I'm used to. And when I'm threatened, it's my default. It's what I go back to because it's how I have always done my job."

Danny's laugh was anything but funny. "So, what, I'm just supposed to accept that because it's your default setting?"

"No. I'm saying that's what I do." Steve stepped a little closer. "But I trust you to pull me back from it when I need it, even when I'm an ass about it."

As apologies go, that was about the best one Steve McGarrett was going to give, Danny figured. "So am I forgiven for calling in the cavalry?"

"There's nothing to forgive."

"Good," Danny said, smoothing his hair back. "So does that mean next time you run off like there's nobody who cares if you leave, you'll understand if I club you over the head and drag you back here?"

Steve laughed. "There are more effective ways to keep me from running away."

"Yeah, but if I locked you in the rendition room you'd find a way out."

"Danny?"

"Yeah?"

"Stop talking."

Danny was about to do the exact opposite when his mouth was captured in a kiss that robbed him of all his words. He froze for half a second as it registered that Steve was actually kissing him, that Steve's arm was snaking around his back and pulling him closer.

Then his brain caught up, and he kissed Steve back.

His brain was apparently slow on the uptake in general, because it wasn't until Steve let him up for air that Danny thought to protest. "Seriously?" he said, though there was no sting to the word and he didn't bother to pull his fingers out from where they were trying very hard to weave themselves into the short hair at the nape of Steve's neck. "Now you decide to do this? Seriously?"

Steve's eyebrows drew together, and Danny knew he was screwed when he thought it was adorable instead of annoying. "Just to be clear," Steve said, "it's the timing you have an issue with and not doing this?"

"I need my head examined for not having a problem with doing this," Danny said, though the words only made Steve grin. "I just...you...Catherine...." Danny dropped his hands to Steve's waist, but still didn't pull away. "Five minutes after she joins the CIA, you decide to kiss me. It feels a little like the time Betty Zaver decided to get back at her boyfriend by making out with me at a party, you know?"

"Is that what you think this is?" Steve asked, his eyebrows practically meeting each other over his nose. "Revenge kissing?"

"Is it?"

Steve took a deep breath. "Danny," he said, the words halting, like he was having to search for them, "I have wanted to do this forever. But I was with Catherine, and you had Rachel, then Gabby, then Amber...the timing was always wrong."

"Catherine's still out there on her mission," Danny reminded him, his body protesting his attempts to thwart what it desperately wanted, especially when he was still somewhat pressed against Steve, but he had to do this right, or they'd both end up in pieces scattered all over the island.

Well, they might end up that way anyway, but this way at least they had a chance.

"Catherine made her choice," Steve said, and while there was some hurt there--as there would be with anyone who deserted him to the CIA--there was no anger. No sign of a thirst for revenge. "Her choice just made it easier for me to do what I've been itching to do anyway, and I didn't want to waste any more time." One corner of Steve's mouth quirked up. "Besides, I had to move fast. You and Amber broke up a week ago--if I waited much longer someone else might've moved in on you."

Danny had to laugh at that, because there wasn't a lot of chance of that. He'd realized over the last few weeks that the main reason things hadn't worked out with Gabby or with Amber was Steve. As long as Steve was there, no one else could hold Danny's interest for long.

No one else could compare.

"You're sure about this?" Danny asked, meeting Steve's eyes. Because this had to be certain. Too many other things would be destroyed if they were wrong about this.

"Yeah," Steve said softly, a hint of a smile in his eyes, for all that he was deadly serious. "Yeah, I'm sure." His eyes narrowed as he studied Danny. "Are you?"

"Yeah," Danny said, his arms sliding around Steve's back, pulling him closer. "I'm sure."

Steve's smile was blinding. "Good," he said. "Now can we go back to the kissing?"

Danny leaned in for a kiss, then another, then another, his hands moving lower, feeling their way along that spectacular ass he'd been admiring for the last four years. He lost track of time, but when Steve muttered "up...stairs" between kisses, Danny realized his hands were inside Steve's pants, getting intimately acquainted with Steve's bare ass.

Yeah, upstairs was definitely the right idea. As soon as Danny could bring himself to get his hands out of Steve's pants.

"Upstairs," Steve said against Danny's mouth. "Danny...fuck...."

The need in Steve's voice, combined with the way his dick was hard and needy, pushing against Danny's stomach through their clothes, gave Danny the ability to let Steve go. He pulled out of Steve's arms, only to push Steve towards the stairs. "Go."

Steve went, grabbing Danny's wrist to pull him along, as if he wasn't going to be as close behind as he could possibly get. The stairs gave Danny a fantastic view of that amazing ass, and he had to bite his lip to restrain the urge to touch again, knowing it would only slow them down.

They reached the bedroom at last, Steve turning around to pull Danny in as he was still backing his way through the room to the bed. Steve stopped them at the edge of the bed, tugging at Danny's clothes in between kisses, pulling them off with the least amount of coordination Danny had ever seen Steve show.

He couldn't help laughing, which made Steve pause and frown at him. "What?"

"Nothing," Danny said, shaking his head as he pulled Steve into another kiss, this one slower and more deliberate. Steve's hands were slower and more sure as he went back to working on Danny's clothes, Danny returning the favor.

They finally managed to get everything off, and that first full contact of skin on skin made Danny gasp into Steve's mouth. "Bed," he said, shoving Steve back so he fell onto the bed behind him. Steve scooted backwards up the bed, the look he gave Danny so hot Danny could swear he could feel it.

Danny climbed onto the bed, throwing one leg over both of Steve's to sit on his thighs. He took a moment to appreciate the view, Steve naked and hard, laid out beneath him, better than every wet dream Danny had had about him over the years.

"What?" Steve asked.

"What what?"

"That look," Steve said.

Danny shrugged. "Just trying to figure out where to start."

"I have an idea," Steve said, and then his hand was on Danny's dick, a little rough, but still so good, just because it was Steve. Danny pushed into it, loving the way it made Steve's eyes narrow, his tongue peeking out to wet his lips. The friction of Steve's thighs under Danny's ass as he moved made it that much better.

Danny couldn't stop a little growl as Steve let go of his dick. But when he saw Steve reach into the nightstand and grab a tube--without looking, the freaky Ninja--Danny got the idea. Steve's eyes never wavered from Danny's face, even as Steve slicked up his hand before putting it back on Danny's dick.

This was perfection, Danny thought, absolute perfection. He quickly realized he was wrong, when Steve opened his hand wider to wrap it around both his and Danny's dicks together. The warm, strong channel of Steve's hand, the slide of his dick against Danny's, combined with the look in Steve's eyes, and the way his breath was hitching every time Danny pushed just a little harder against him, was going to get Danny off in a hurry.

He didn't want it to end, though, didn't want to lose the way it felt as his ass dragged along Steve's legs, the way the room smelled of sex and Steve, the way Steve looked at Danny like this might actually be better than even the Navy itself, he wanted it all to last forever.

It couldn't, though, as his whole body was zinging with pleasure, streaking through his muscles and nerves from every direction, all with one common destination. He struggled to hold out, but he broke first, crying out at his release as he felt Steve's hand speed up then slow, jerky motions matching the ones Steve's body made beneath him before he stilled.

Danny collapsed onto Steve, tasting the sweat on Steve's neck as he focused on breathing. When he started to cool down, he slid off to the side just a little, half his body still covering Steve's.

"I suppose I should think about going home," Danny murmured, not moving, and not really wanting to, but not wanting to set off any commitment-phobia issues Steve might have lying around in that bizarre psyche of his.

Danny felt Steve tense. "You could," he said, with a lightness that every muscle in his body said he didn't feel. "Or you could stay."

"Didn't really want to leave anyway," Danny said, settling in a little more comfortably. He smiled against Steve's chest as he felt Steve relax.

***

It happened so fast. One second Bucky was there, the next he was gone. Steve stared out into the cold, snowy expanse below the plane, but there was nothing.

Bucky was dead.

Except he wasn't, he came running down through the plane suddenly, with a metal arm and Bucky's face, but no recognition in his eyes, nothing but a blank look, spouting someone else's words about a mission as he raised his metal fist to knock Steve out of the plane.

Steve woke to the gut-wrenching dread of someone about to be punched, but the room was quiet, only the peaceful sound of the ocean for background noise. Right. Hawaii. Not Europe. Not DC. He was in Honolulu. Alone.

No, he realized, suddenly catching onto what woke him up, he was not alone. There was someone in the room. Whoever it was must not be planning to kill him in his sleep, because he was awake and they still hadn't made a move. They were just standing there, breathing so quietly he almost missed it.

His shield was beside the bed, so he grabbed it as he jumped up into a defensive position to get a good look.

Rumlow stood near the open balcony, clearly visible in the moonlight, and clearly not scarred. He blinked, eyes widening as Steve moved forward. Rumlow darted for the balcony, and by the time Steve made it to the ledge, he could see Rumlow hitting the ground four stories below.

Steve followed, staying far enough back that he hopefully wouldn't be seen. If Rumlow had the serum, and that was a likely if, given the lack of scars and his ability to easy jump forty feet, Steve didn't want to cause a scene that might take out a few blocks of downtown Honolulu.

He picked up the pace when he saw Rumlow get into a pickup truck. Steve managed to hop onto the back and stay out of sight until they were out of traffic. When it was safe, he crawled into the bed of the truck and lay down flat, waiting to see where Rumlow was going.

They left the city, and the road quieted down and became darker, only sporadic street lights, then no street lights at all as they turned into a wooded area. Eventually the truck stopped and turned off, and Steve heard the door open and close.

He waited until he couldn't hear footsteps to raise his head just high enough to see over the side of the truck bed. He could barely make out the shadowy figure of Rumlow in the distance, walking towards a small building. No, he realized, as Rumlow disappeared inside and the building lit up, a tent. It reminded Steve of the tents they'd had during the war, only lighter, as if someone had made that concession to bounce some of the Hawaiian sun off the tent and keep it cool during the day.

Steve watched for a few minutes, but he heard no voices, and only saw one shadow moving around in the tent. He wasn't going to get a better opportunity to get some answers than this, so he hopped out of the truck, shield at the ready, and made a bee line for the tent.

He pulled back the tent flap and stepped inside, his words dying on his lips at the glint of a metal arm in the lantern light. "Bucky?"

Bucky looked around, as if trying to find an exit, before realizing that the only one was behind Steve. His metal fist clenched as he swallowed. "What are you doing here?"he asked.

Steve blinked at him. "What am I doing here? I followed Rumlow here, and came in to find you instead. So I think the better question is what are you doing here?"

Too late Steve realized the obvious answer, his stomach dropping. If Bucky was here, then he was likely the assassin they were chasing. "Whistler," Steve said, suddenly hoarse. "You killed her."

"It wasn't me," Bucky said quickly, hands up, as if he was surrendering. "I would've," he added. "I mean, the bitch was Hydra. She deserved it. But it wasn't me."

Good to know that Bucky at least knew enough to hate Hydra. "Then what are you doing here?"

"I've been laying low," he said, dropping his hands, looking unsure and a little trapped in the middle of the tent, "trying to figure out who I am." The self-deprecating smile was so Bucky that Steve's heart ached. "I figured nobody would be looking for a guy with a metal arm in the most sleeveless place in the country."

"But you weren't you," Steve said. "I saw you. You were Rumlow."

Bucky's smile widened, and Steve really needed to get a grip, because it made him want things he'd been trying to forget for decades. Things that were long dead, even if Bucky wasn't. "Your Russian friend left her outfit behind in DC," he said, holding up a pile of thin fabric.

No, not fabric, Steve realized, at least not regular fabric. He recognized it as the holographic disguise device Natasha had used the day Insight launched. It was how she'd gone undercover as the Councilwoman. "So you thought Rumlow was the obvious choice for lying low?"

Bucky shrugged, putting the disguise down on the small crate he was using as a table. "Nobody's looking for him," he said. "He was the least obvious of the options the suit had programmed into it. And I don't go into town much. Just when I need supplies."

"You must've needed supplies a lot the last day or so," Steve said. "Or are you going to tell me that wasn't you at the university, or the Hilton earlier?"

Steve knew that look, and it made him hope, seeing Bucky's old expressions showing through the blank mask he'd been in DC. That was the look Bucky got when he was caught out. "I heard about the shooting, and wondered who was killing off Hydra and trying to frame me for it. Then...." He shrugged and ducked his head, darting glances up at Steve through his hair. "I saw you. At Whistler's office."

"So, what, you decided to make me think I was either crazy or in danger because Rumlow was stalking me?"

Bucky bit his lip. "That wasn't--I mean...." He sighed. "I wanted to see you," he said, stepping closer, and Steve felt like the air was leaving the tent with every step. "I wanted to...." He stopped less than a foot away from Steve. "My memories are all jumbled," Bucky said. "I thought maybe seeing you would put them together. Connect some dots in my head."

"Did it help?"

"I remember more," he said slowly. "But it's like...I don't know what's real and what was just...wishing."

"Wishing?"

Bucky nodded, moving closer still, and Steve felt the instinct to move away and move closer all at once, leaving him frozen in place until Bucky's hands were on his hips, and Bucky's lips were on Steve's. The kiss was amazing. So much better than the clumsy few kisses they'd shared as kids, filling all the promise that those kisses had hinted at of something wonderful ahead.

Bucky lifted his head, searching Steve's eyes. "Were we like this? Before?"

Steve felt the familiar mix of want and shame from decades ago, of feeling things, doing things that the world said were wrong. But it was a new day in America. And wasn't freedom what he'd been fighting for?

"Yeah. I mean, kinda. When we were teens, before...." Before the war made them men who should know better.

But his heart had never learned that lesson.

A frown crossed Bucky's face. "Sofa cushions..." he said slowly, like a memory was slowly returning, one that still fueled some of Steve's better dreams. His smile said the memory had returned, or at least enough of it that he was more confident in leaning down for another kiss.

For the first time, Steve understood why kissing Nat had felt good, but wrong at the same time. This felt like what he'd been made for, not just someone who got him, who knew the scrawny kid that lived inside the giant perfect specimen the world saw, but someone who had the same strength. Nat had felt like she would break if he held on too hard, even though he knew she could hold her own in a fight.

He hadn't lied when he'd told her she wasn't his first kiss since the forties. He'd had a lot of offers--he was Captain America, and he wasn't as blind as he tried to pretend to what that meant to some people, to the ones who only saw him as that, and never as Steve Rogers. He'd even kissed a few of them, trying to 'move on' or 'join the 21st century' or whatever people kept spouting at him.

He'd always pulled back, though, using old fashioned chivalry as his excuse so they didn't feel bad. But it was only part of the truth. Underneath that veil of a moral code lay the real truth--he could hurt someone if he lost control.

Bucky felt like he could take whatever Steve could dish out, accidentally or on purpose.

Bucky broke the kiss, lifting his head and looking down at Steve, a small frown marring his face. "Hey. You with me here?"

"Yeah," Steve said, already pulling him back in. "Yeah, I'm with you."

Whatever romanticized notion he'd had of what this should be like, clothes melting away, falling onto a bed, it was quickly dispelled as Bucky's buttons refused to budge and Steve found that he couldn't actually get out of his pants and keep touching Bucky at the same time. But they managed, at last, to be naked and on the makeshift bed at the far end of the tent.

The rub of bare skin against his own had Steve gasping, as Bucky covered Steve's body, his lips finding Steve's again. Steve had to run his hand down Bucky's back, feeling the muscles move under his skin, hesitating only slightly when he reached Bucky's lower back before delving further.

The first touch of cold metal made Steve shiver, as Bucky's metal arm brushed Steve's side. Bucky broke off the kiss and lifted his head, looking down at Steve with an expression that Steve knew all too well. Bucky had worn it the time he'd accidentally broken Steve's favorite toy when they were six, and every time he was worried Steve would be upset with him since.

Steve met Bucky's eyes before shifting, pulling Bucky's weight more firmly on top of his own body, shivering again as their cocks brushed against each other. Steve took Bucky's metal hand in his, pulling it up and placing it on the side of Steve's face, palm open, and holding it there.

After a moment, Bucky's worried expression straightened out until a bright, beautiful grin spread across his face. Steve could feel his own answering grin widening, until Bucky ducked his head and captured Steve's mouth once more.

Steve quickly acclimated to the touch of metal, warm now from his skin, as they moved together, their bodies slick with sweat, cocks trapped between them, brushing against skin and each other. It was messy, and clumsy, and should've been embarrassing and not at all arousing. Instead it was the single most arousing thing Steve had ever experienced.

He didn't want it to end, but his body had other ideas, as he moved faster in response to Bucky's increasing urgency. Bucky let go of Steve's mouth to taste his neck, causing Steve to grip Bucky's ass in a way that would've probably maimed any other person on the planet.

It made Bucky gasp against Steve's neck and speed up, and Steve couldn't stop himself from falling over the edge at that reaction. He was vaguely aware of Bucky crying out and stilling as Steve caught his breath, and by the time he was really aware of everything around him again, Bucky was still, his face buried in Steve's neck.

Steve ran his hand up and down Bucky's back slowly, his mind quiet for the first time in so long it was almost embarrassing to try to count. It was certainly the first time since the Winter Soldier mask had hit the ground in the middle of their fight, revealing Bucky's face.

He'd never quite be free of the guilt he felt for not being able to save Bucky sooner. But for the first time he felt like it might be okay in the end. And he'd learned lately that sometimes okay was the best win you could get.

Bucky pushed up at last, dropping a lingering kiss on Steve's lips before he stood. Steve watched him walk across the room, taking the time to appreciate the view as Bucky cleaned himself up. His mouth went dry as Bucky came back to the cot, cloth in hand. He cleaned Steve up and tossed the cloth on the ground before draping himself partly over Steve's body once more.

Steve didn't miss the way Bucky laid so his metal arm was off the cot. After all that, did he really still think that it would bother Steve? Or maybe it just bothered Bucky. Either way, Steve wasn't having it. He shifted, pulling Bucky over to the other side of the cot, but leaving him only enough room to slide halfway off. Bucky's left arm lay across Steve's chest, the metal no longer feeling strange at all there.

Before Bucky could get any crazy notions about it, Steve laid his own arm across the metal, turned into Bucky's warmth, and closed his eyes to find some sleep.

***

Consciousness was unwelcome, but persistent. Danny buried his face against Steve's sleeve, but his mind had woken up enough now to start racing, and it wasn't slowing down just because he wanted to sleep.

They were crazy to even start this, he knew. If Paula Deen put out a recipe book for disaster, the two of them would be the cover dish. But he couldn't imagine not doing it, not now, not after tonight. Didn't want to imagine losing this now that he knew what Steve tasted like, what he sounded like in bed, how he felt when he shivered into a million pieces.

Danny had fought tooth and nail in the past for a lot less than this.

Now if they could just keep from fucking it up, and from fucking up their partnership in the process. He didn't exactly have the best track record, and Steve really didn't have a track record at all. Catherine didn't count. She'd spent her entire time with Steve tip toeing around trying not to scare him, and gotten nowhere.

Danny wasn't the tiptoe type.

Steve started muttering, muscles stiffening as he made twitchy little movements, as if he was dreaming about much bigger ones but somewhere his brain knew he couldn't make them in his current place.

"Danny...."

The word was muttered, but with that tone it might as well have been screamed out. Danny didn't need a psych degree to get the idea about what was going on in Steve's head. "Hey," Danny murmured, lips close to Steve's ear, staying close, but ready to roll away fast if Steve started thrashing. Danny had learned that lesson on Steve's couch years ago after North Korea. "Steven. It's okay. Wake up."

Steve shuddered, eyes blinking open as they darted around. "Danny?"

"Yeah, right here babe. All in one piece."

Steve's breathing slowed down a little as he rolled onto his side to pull Danny close, ducking his head until his nose was pressed against Danny's neck. He stayed that way, breathing Danny in for a moment before letting go a little, pulling back enough to look at Danny. "What time is it?"

"Almost four. You okay?"

"Yeah, fine."

"You know," Danny said, hand stroking soothingly down Steve's spine, "normally I'd smack you for lying to me, but under the circumstances I'll cut you some slack if you talk to me."

Steve's lips thinned for a moment. "It was just a nightmare," he said at last. "That's all."

"What happened?"

"You died."

The words were flat, toneless, Steve's robotic form of coping that Danny had way too much experience with. "But I'm still here."

"I know. Like I said, just a dream."

Danny studied him for a long time. "You know I'm not going anywhere," Danny said. "Right?"

Steve opened his mouth, then closed it again, as if choosing his words. "Are you going to tell me you weren't lying awake wondering what was going to go wrong with us?" he said finally. Before Danny could answer, Steve said, "You don't have to say it, I can see it all over your face."

"Wasn't going to deny it," Danny said, because what would be the point? He'd told Steve that's what he always did. "Doesn't mean I really think things will go south."

"But you can't control what your subconscious throws up in your face," Steve said. "Any more than I can stop mine from throwing the dreams at me." Steve's arm tightened around Danny. "Everyone's left me," Steve said, "willingly or not. And I know you'd never leave willingly. Doesn't mean that my brain isn't going to stop worrying about it, any more than yours. But I'm not giving in to fear."

Danny huffed out a quiet laugh. "Like you'd even know how to give in to fear?"

Steve's shrug wasn't nearly as careless as he had probably hoped. "When it comes to losing people I love," he said, his eyes on Danny's nose, "fear can be pretty strong."

He knew what it cost Steve to even have this conversation, and it wasn't exactly Danny's idea of a good time, either. But it needed to be faced up front if they were going to do this. "I'll make you a deal," Danny said, ducking his head a little and forcing Steve to meet his eyes. "I'll tell myself every morning that this isn't going to go south, that it'll be fine, if you tell yourself I'm never leaving."

A hint of a smile started to show on Steve's face. "That might make it a little difficult to do our jobs if we never leave this bed. "

Danny rolled his eyes. "Haha. Very funny," he said, before he pulled Steve just a little closer. "I am serious, though. Do we have a deal?"

"Yeah," Steve said, his voice and his eyes both soft. "Yeah. We have a deal."

***

A gut-wrenching scream woke Cap from a sound sleep. He was sitting up and reaching for his shield before he realized there was no danger. Bucky was having a nightmare. Or, rather, he had been having a nightmare. His scream had woken him up as well.

Bucky's eyes were wide, his chest moving rapidly as he gulped in air. Steve realized that Bucky had a death grip on Steve's arm, thankfully his real hand, not his metal one. Dropping his shield back to the ground beside the bed, Steve put his hand over Bucky's. "You okay?"

His nod was more of a slight jerk of his head than anything else. "Sorry."

Steve shook his head. "Nothing to be sorry about," he said, quietly. "Nightmare?" he asked, though he was pretty sure of the answer.

"Yeah."

He could tell Bucky was trying to hide how shaken up he was, but Steve still knew him too well. "Yeah, I have my fair share of them," Steve said. "Mine are quieter. More internal. But they still wake me up in a cold sweat."

"What do you dream about?"

It might be easier to answer what he doesn't dream about. "The war," Steve said. "Crashing into the water. New York. DC." He left out one of the worst nightmares, the one where Bucky's falling out of the train over and over again, ripping Steve's heart to shreds a little more each time. "What about you?"

Bucky shrugged. "It's hard to put it all together. It's flashes mostly. Falling. Cold. Pain--a lot of pain." His sigh sounded like part sadness, part frustration. "Flashes are all I have, asleep or awake," he said slowly, like the words were hard to find. "I've been to the Smithsonian, and I've searched the internet, but I'm still not sure how much of what I remember is really mine, and what I learned from somewhere else."

"It must be hard."

The words were inadequate, but Bucky didn't seem to mind. "There are a few things I am sure are my memories," he said. "Falling out of the train. The tests. The surgery for my arm, and bits and pieces after when they were training me to do all my 'good work' for the 'greater good.'" His lips had a wry twist before he said, "Turned out it was really just for Hydra's greater good. Guess that was what the pain was for--to distract me from noticing that. They drilled home the lesson that there is no order without pain."

"That's not true," Steve said. "There can be order without so much pain."

"You gonna tell me either of our lives back that claim up?"

He couldn't. Because they were two sides of the same coin--both weaponized, fed lies, and used by Hydra for their own purposes, both without their knowledge or consent to the end game.

"Hydra's days of hiding are over," Steve said. "I'm starting over without any ties to them. You can, too."

Bucky's laugh was harsh and humorless. "Hard to do anything but start over when you can't really remember anything. What if I forget what little I have managed to get back? What if they've done their job too well?"

"You won't. They didn't." Steve leaned in a little closer, wanting Bucky to get this point. "You just have to believe."

"I'm trying," Bucky said, before ending the conversation by pulling Steve down into a kiss.

***

Danny woke to find himself alone in the bed, the first rays of sun just starting to lighten the sky. He listened carefully and realized he could hear Steve talking, just outside the bedroom.

"--still there?" Steve said. There was a pause before he said, "And you checked again, right?" After a second, Steve said, "Okay. Thanks. Let me know if anything unusual happens."

A moment later, Danny heard Steve's bare feet padding along the wood floor into the bedroom. The bed dipped beside him, and Steve crawled back under the covers carefully, wrapping himself around Danny and giving him a kiss on the neck. "Morning," Steve said.

"Morning," Danny replied, not even pretending he hadn't been listening. "Wo Fat still where you left him?"

"Still firmly locked away for now." Steve's eyes were just barely visible in the predawn light as he met Danny's gaze. "I had to check," Steve said. "Given everything...I had to check."

"I know," Danny replied. "I get it. Just...you can't let all that--Wo Fat, your mother, what happened with your father, all of that--you can't let it run your life. You have to find some kind of balance."

Steve's arm tightened a little around Danny. "I have found a balance," he said. "That's why I'm here. With you." Steve shifted, one leg sliding across both of Danny's. "You pull me back before I go too far, and that lets me push myself to my limit, because I know you won't let me go past it."

"You have limits?" Danny asked, eyebrows raised. "News to me."

Steve huffed out a faint laugh. "I'm serious," he said, and Danny could hear the sincerity in his voice. "I know I seem a little crazy sometimes--"

"Sometimes?"

Steve rolled his eyes as he continued, "but I know my limits. And I know when I try to push past them, you'll stop me."

"When have I ever stopped you from anything?"

"Probably more times than you know." Steve ducked his head, humor lacing his voice. "Did I forget to show you my What Would Danny Do bracelet?"

"Now I know you're full of shit."

Steve laughed. "No," he said, settling in a little. "I'm just happy."

He pressed his forehead to Danny's temple, and Danny laid his arm overtop of Steve's and enjoyed the quiet.

***

The metal of Bucky's arm no longer felt strange against Steve's skin as he woke. He could tell the sun was coming up by the amount of light filtering through the sides of the tent, but he didn't want to get up. He wanted to stay in bed, where they didn't have to face the real world. Forget Hydra, forget all the mess going on outside the tent, and just hibernate there for a while.

They'd damn well earned it, he knew that much.

He also knew it wasn't an option. Sam would be looking for him soon. And he'd promised McGarrett and Williams that he'd find a cell Wo Fat couldn't break out of. Duty called.

Story of his life.

Bucky didn't wake up lazily, the way Steve remembered from when they were kids. One second he was asleep, the next second he was wide awake, muscles tensed as if he was in the middle of a battle. He blinked until his eyes fell on Steve's face. After a moment's confused frown, a smile settled into place. "Morning."

"Morning," Steve replied. "You okay?"

Bucky seemed to give the question some actual thought before nodding. "Better than I have been in a while at any rate. You?"

"I'm good." Steve stretched, trying to ignore the way his body reacted to the rub of Bucky's against his. "I should probably get going soon, though. Before someone sounds the alarm that I'm gone."

"Right. Your friend will be looking for you."

The way Bucky said 'friend' made Steve frown. "Sam has been helping me find you," Steve said. "I wouldn't have made it here and tracked you down without his help."

"That's nice of him."

His voice said it was anything but, and Steve sat up, looking down at Bucky. "He's a good friend," Steve said. "And part of the reason I'm not dead."

Something flashed over Bucky's face. "Which is more than you can say for me."

Steve shook his head, putting his hand on Bucky's metal forearm to make his point. "You're my best friend," he said. "And the reason I'm not lying on the bottom of the Potomac River."

"I'm also the reason you were in the Potomac in the first place."

"No, that was Hydra's doing. You overcame it all and saved me."

One corner of Bucky's mouth quirked up. "That's a change from all the times you saved me."

Steve studied him. "You remember those?"

Bucky gave him a half shrug. "I'm not sure how much is memory and how much I learned, but some of it...yeah. I think so."

A rooster crowed in the distance, reminding Steve that his stolen night was at an end. "I need to get back," he said, sliding out of the cot reluctantly. He could feel Bucky's eyes on him the entire time he dressed, and turned back to see Bucky still watching him, a small smile on his face.

Steve sat down on the edge of the cot, holding Bucky's gaze. "Look, Buck...I think you should come back with me."

Bucky's smile faded, his lips thinning out. "I can't," he said after a moment.

"Sure you can. I know you weren't the assassin. It's safe."

His laugh was harsh and short. "Sure, it's safe. Except for half of Hydra is probably looking for me. And I don't know what they can do to me if they find me, because I only remember bits and pieces of whatever they did to program me."

"You know now, though. They can't get you again."

"They were so good I almost killed you," Bucky said, sounding tortured. "I can't let them do that to me again." He took a deep breath. "Besides, I need to find out who I am."

"I know who you are," Steve said. He knew Bucky to his core. "I can help you."

Bucky shook his head. "If I went back now, if I let you help me...I'd be your memory of me. I need to find myself. On my own."

After a moment, Steve nodded. He got that. He'd needed time to do that, and he hadn't had his mind messed with anything like Bucky had.

He just didn't want Bucky to disappear again.

"Promise me," Steve said, "that you'll keep in touch. Let me know you're okay." When Bucky didn't immediately respond, Steve said, "Promise?"

Bucky nodded. "Yeah. I promise.

"And when you figure out who you are," Steve said carefully, "you know where to find me."

"What if you don't like who I am?"

"No chance. I know you."

Bucky's mouth curled into a soft smile again. "Maybe someday soon I'll know me, too."

"I hope so."

Steve couldn't resist leaning down for one last kiss before sitting up to stare down at Bucky, feeling like he had to memorize every line of his face again. "Remember, you promised."

"I know." Bucky nodded towards the entrance to the tent. "Go. Before your friend sends out the Army or something to look for you."

Steve got up, picked up his shield, and started walking. He made it all the way to the tent entrance before he turned back around. "Good luck," he said, because everything else that was stuck in his head seemed too heavy and too soon.

"Thanks."

Steve walked out without another look back.

***

By the time Cap got back to the hotel, courtesy of a driver who was all too happy to stop and pick up a hitchhiking Captain America, the sun was actually peeking up from above the mountains. Steve got onto the elevator before remembering that he'd left via the balcony, and didn't have his key.

Being Captain America didn't just make it easier to hitchhike--the girl at the front desk was only too happy to give him his key along with her phone number. He thanked her without comment on the number and went up to his room.

He was thinking only of getting a shower before Sam came looking for him, so he didn't notice someone sitting on his bed until the door was fully closed. He barely had time to raise his shield before he realized who it was.

"Natasha," he said, crossing the room to stand in front of her. "Were you trying to give me a heart attack?"

"You're out of practice if that was enough to scare you," she said.

He sighed. "I thought you went in search of a new cover. What are you doing here?"

She pushed up off the bed, arching an eyebrow at him. "I was wondering the same thing about you," she said. "Did you find what you were looking for?"

"That depends on what you think I'm looking for."

"An assassin?"

"I found one," he said, not caring if she figured out who. He trusted her by now. "Just not the one who killed Whistler."

"Really?" She held up her hand, then dropped a couple of bullets onto the bed. He didn't need a microscope to guess that they were a perfect match to the Winter Soldier M.O., but she tossed a file with Whistler's name on it on top of them, just in case he was feeling particularly dense.

"You?" he said, though the only real surprise he held was that he hadn't figured that out earlier.

She shrugged. "Somebody's gotta take down Hydra."

His eyes narrowed as he studied her. "Bullets aren't really your style."

"No. They aren't." Her raised eyebrow made him frown, until she rolled her eyes. "They are, however, someone's style I thought would get your attention."

The pieces fell into place. "You knew Bucky was out here and used the assassination to get me out here to find him?"

She shrugged. "Why not kill two birds with one bullet?"

"Why not just give me a call?"

"Where's the fun in that?" She got up, walking by him almost close enough to touch on her way to the door. "He coming home with you?"

"No. Said he had to find himself."

She turned, her hand on the door. "Seems to me you'd be the first place to look for that."

"Yeah, seems to you," Steve said. "To him...well."

"I wouldn't give up just yet." She opened the door. "All roads lead to Rome."

He blinked. "What?"

"Be careful, Steve," she said with a smile as she walked out, the door closing quietly behind her.

He was still staring at the door when there was a soft knock. He crossed the room and opened the door to find Sam on the other side. "Did I imagine that red head looked a lot like Romanov?" Sam said.

"No, it wasn't your imagination."

Sam came in and Cap shut the door behind him. "What did she want?"

"To confess to Whistler's assassination."

Both Sam's eyebrows shot up. "It was her?"

Cap nodded. "Apparently she's not too busy finding a new cover to take out some of Hydra along the way."

"So we were on a wild goose chase?"

"Not entirely." Steve sighed, already editing the story in his head as he spoke. "That Rumlow I'd been seeing? It wasn't Rumlow."

"Who was it?"

"Bucky."

Sam's eyebrows shot even higher the second time. "You found him?"

Cap nodded again. "He showed up last night."

Sam looked around. "Where is he?"

"Off finding himself."

He didn't need Sam's look of sympathy to tell him he'd done a terrible job of hiding how he felt about that. "Did he say how long it would take?"

"No. But he promised to stay in touch."

"And you believed him?"

"Yeah," Cap said softly. "Yeah, I believed him."

He could tell Sam was a lot more skeptical, but then Sam didn't know Bucky. Amnesia or not, Bucky wouldn't lie to Steve. And he wouldn't let him down.

"If you say so," Sam said after a moment. "You know the guy."

"Yeah. I know him."

"Well, while you're waiting to hear from him again, Williams called. He wanted to know if we'd made any progress on finding a cell that might actually hold Wo Fat. And if we could install a tamper-proof camera in it with internet feed...though I'm still not sure if that last part was a joke."

"It does seem to be hard to tell with him sometimes, doesn't it?"

The shared laugh seemed to ease the tension Cap only then realized had been hanging around them. "I told him we'd stop by their offices after breakfast."

"Then I'd better get on the phone to Hill."

***

It wasn't until they were ready to leave for work, after a much longer than three minutes shower, that Danny realized they might have a problem.

"Maybe we should take separate cars."

Danny frowned at him. "Why?"

Steve's shrug was less telling than the way he couldn't quite look Danny in the eye. "I have an errand to run."

"You suck at lying." Danny moved closer, touching Steve on the shoulder. "What's wrong?"

After a moment of stalling, Steve finally met his eyes. "I feel like if anyone finds out we're together, something will go wrong. I just need a couple of days to get used to it."

Given Steve's issues about losing Danny, it wasn't exactly a surprise. "You do realize," Danny said, "if we show up in different cars that's actually going to look more suspicious than if we don't?"

"Not if I say I had an errand."

Privately, Danny thought Steve was both underestimating Chin and Kono and overestimating his ability to lie, but he knew how worried Steve was, so he let it go. "So what errand are you going to run?"

"I'm not. I'm just going to say I had to run one."

Yeah, he might as well just wear a sign when he walked into HQ. "You're sure that's how you want to play this?"

"Yeah." Steve gave him a small smile. "We'll tell them in a couple of days, I promise. I want them to know. I just need a day or two. You get it, right?"

"I get it." Just like he got that sometimes he had to let Steve make his own mistakes. Danny stretched up for a kiss. "Come on, let's go."

***

Steve lagged a little behind Danny as they walked into the bullpen. Chin and Kono were already there, looking at something on the computer table, but they looked up as Steve and Danny reached the table.

"Hey, we were searching--" Kono stopped, looking at Danny, her eyes narrowing before she looked at Steve. Smirking, she turned to Chin and held out a hand.

Chin looked at both of them, sighed, pulled out his wallet and handed her a fifty dollar bill. "I'll give you the rest after I go to the bank."

Danny couldn't help his own little smirk as he looked at Steve. "I tried to tell you."

"What?" Steve's furrowed brow was even cuter when Danny could feel superior about it. "What just happened?"

The fact that Kono and Chin laughed along with him made Danny feel a little less guilty about laughing at that. "I tried to tell you that it wouldn't work."

Steve's brow cleared, then furrowed again. "How--I mean, what--seriously? What gave it away?"

"If you have to ask, brah...." Kono said.

"You just cost me a hundred bucks," Chin added. "I'm not telling you."

Steve looked at Danny. "You did hire them for a reason," was all Danny would say.

Chin stepped forward, a genuine smile on his face. "Congratulations," he said, touching Steve on the arm, then Danny. "It's about time."

Kono laughed. "Long overdue," she said, pulling each one of them into a hug in turn.

Steve's face was bright red by the time they were done. "Thank you," he said, his eyes darting around, looking at anything that wasn't a human face. "So, um, you were saying you'd searched for something?"

"Yeah, we got Danny's email with the basics about what happened while we were gone this weekend, and we did some research on prison facilities, and--"

"I think I can do better than any facility you'll find on a list," Cap said from the doorway.

Danny turned to see him standing there with Sam and one of the HPD guards. "Your friend Stark come through?"

Cap nodded as Steve waved off the guard and Cap and Sam joined them by the table. "He had a design for a holding cell he thought might be useful if Loki ever came back, and he's dying to try it out."

"If a god couldn't get out of it, Wo Fat might stay," Danny said.

"Loki's not a god," Cap said, "but for the purposes of this conversation, close enough. And some of the modifications Stark has made to a typical cell are pretty impressive. It should hold him."

"A supermax prison should've held him," Steve said. At Danny's look, Steve sighed. "Sorry," he said to Cap, holding out a hand. "Thank you. We appreciate it."

Cap shook his hand. "No problem. You let us horn in on your case, so I'm happy to return the favor."

"About the case..." Sam said.

Danny watched as some silent argument took place between Sam and Cap, before Cap nodded. "You can close the books on Whistler's murder."

Danny didn't need to look at Steve to know the expression that would be on his face. "Really? You brought someone in without us noticing?"

"It was SHIELD taking down Hydra," Cap said. "That's all you need to know."

"All I need to know?" Steve asked, and Danny took a step closer to him in case he needed to intervene, because Captain America and his slightly more human clone could do a lot of damage to their office if they were let loose on each other. "Okay, sure, I'll just tell the Governor that all he needs to know is that it was an assassination by a renounced government organization. I'm sure he'll just accept that."

"Tell him that you know the citizens of Hawaii are safe, as long as they're not criminals." Cap's eyebrow went up. "I've read about some of your exploits, I'm sure he's used to taking that for an answer."

Danny stepped between the two of them, hand on Steve's arm. "Okay," he said, squeezing Steve's arm tightly when he felt Steve trying to push forward anyway. "You're sure you know who the guy is?" Danny asked.

Cap nodded. "I know who killed Whistler, and they aren't a threat."

"What about your whole Winter Soldier thing?" Danny asked. "We're not in any danger?"

"The Winter Soldier is just a myth," Cap said, and Danny didn't miss the look on Sam's face at that. Cap might buy that, but Sam was still considering the evidence. "No one is in danger from him."

Two very different statements that didn't quite add up, but Danny believed that Cap was convinced no one was in danger. And Sam didn't argue that fact, even if he seemed a little less uncertain. "So if your ghost chase is over," Danny said, "I take it you're leaving town?"

Cap nodded. "Stark is flying a special jet here now that should land in a couple of hours. It's got a version of the holding cell on it we'll use to take Wo Fat to the facility."

"I'm coming with you," Steve said, to the surprise of no one in the room, except, apparently, Cap.

"We can handle it."

Steve shook his head. "You don't know him, you don't know what to look for. I do."

Danny recognized the strain in Steve's voice--he was reaching the end of his ability to play like a civilized person. "We're both coming with you," Danny said. "We want to see him in his cell with our own eyes." When Cap still hesitated, Danny added, "You want us to cover up a murder for you. This is the price."

Not following what was clearly a dead end that no one really wanted prosecuted in the first place was nowhere near the same as covering up a murder, but the tactic worked. Cap nodded. "We have clearance to land at Hickam at eleven hundred for an hour before we take off again," he said. "Be there, or the plane leaves without you."

"Doesn't make a lot of sense for it to take off without your prisoner," Danny said.

Cap closed his eyes for a second and took a deep breath. "Sorry," he said, "it was a long night. We'll be happy to stay here and help escort him to the plane. The more protection the better."

Danny could feel some of Steve's tension leaving him. "Thank you," Steve said. "We appreciate the help."

"We all want the same thing, right?" Cap said.

Danny looked at Sam, and recognized the look on his face, or rather the feeling behind it, as he looked at Cap.

Yeah, they all wanted the same thing. It was just a crapshoot as to who was lucky enough to get it.

***

Danny was finishing up the paperwork officially transferring Wo Fat into a little known facility that he'd just made up so none of his associates (or Steve's mother, Danny thought, with no small amount of annoyance at the woman) could track him down easily and help him escape again, when Sam knocked on the door to his office.

"Come in," Danny said, closing the file and setting it aside.

"Thanks." Sam took a seat in front of Danny's desk. "Cap and McGarrett were going to the armory you have downstairs, and I wasn't sure I wanted to be anywhere near the two of them and guns."

"I don't know, they might kill each other if someone's not there to intervene."

He didn't actually believe that, and he could tell that Sam took it as a joke. "Cap's pretty hard to kill."

"So is McGarrett," Danny said. "Thank God."

Sam studied him for a long moment. "I get the feeling," he said slowly, "that McGarrett figured out that girlfriend wasn't a girlfriend anymore."

"He might've figured that out, yeah," Danny said, failing to completely hold back a smile.

"That's good. Congratulations."

Danny nodded a thanks, but he could tell from Sam's smile that something was off. "I take it Cap hasn't let go of his past?"

"Cap...." Sam sighed, looking like he was searching for the right words. "He found his past," he said finally.

"But not his future?"

"I don't know. Maybe." Sam shrugged. "Either way, I don't think that's a past I can compete with."

Danny leaned forward, elbows on the desk. "You never know," he said. "I would have sworn a few days ago that Steve was going to be waiting for Catherine for years, and yet...."

"No, something's changed," Sam said. "He has hope. I mean, he was hopeful before. But now he has real hope. I don't think that's going to go away."

"I'm sorry." Danny knew all too well how that felt, and he didn't wish it on anyone, especially a nice guy like Sam. "So are you gonna stick around with him? Or move on?"

Sam huffed out a short laugh. "If your situation had turned out differently, could you have left?"

Of course not, but he didn't think he really had to answer. Sam knew that already. "I hope you're wrong," Danny said. "I hope it works out."

"The really sad things is," Sam said, as if he was figuring it out as the words came out, "I kind of hope I'm right. He needs this. And I need him to be happy."

Spoken like a man in love, Danny realized, thinking about all the ways he'd tried to help make sure Steve kept Catherine, because he thought Catherine made him happy. "I get it," Danny said. "Doesn't mean it doesn't suck."

"You are absolutely right about that."

***

Danny watched Steve as the door closed on Wo Fat, and Stark entered a code into a pad beside it. "That should hold him," Stark said. "It's build to hold off methods he hasn't even heard of, so unless he has some Asgardian friends--no, wait, even if he did, it wouldn't help." Stark frowned, studying Steve a little closer before he turned to Danny. "Does he speak?"

"I speak," Steve said, before Danny could answer. His voice was rusty, though, sounding as though he didn't speak much. And he hadn't for the last few hours. He'd just sat on the plane, hand on his holstered Sig, staring at Wo Fat, almost like he was willing Wo Fat to try something so Steve could shoot him. "Thank you."

Stark shrugged. "Glad to have a guinea pig for my new creation. If it can hold your master escape artist in there, then maybe it might work on anything that comes through a wormhole or something." Stark looked back at the door. "What'd he do, anyway?"

"A lot of things," Steve said. "Some of them we even know about."

"Great." Stark stepped away from the door. "I'll be sure not to visit him for a chat."

"We'd prefer he didn't have any visitors," Danny said, brushing his arm against Steve's to try to get some of the tension out of him.

Stark shrugged. "This isn't Club Med," he said, gesturing around him to the facility that was so far underground Danny half expected to see the ball of fire at the center of the earth. "I'm assuming you didn't send out change of address cards for him."

"No one knows he's here but us," Steve said, nodding at the five of them standing around the room.

Danny thought it was progress that Steve apparently trusted that Cap and Sam weren't going to be spilling the location to anyone. "How many people in here know who he is?" Danny asked Stark.

"Just me." Stark nodded at what looked like a blue Iron Man suit walking around by itself nearby, checking on some panels on the wall. "This level is run by Blinky over there, who's connected with my private computer. And nobody could see your guy brought in through the back elevator. This place was designed so no one would know a world famous prisoner was here. They're not going to find this guy."

Danny was watching Steve again, could see the 'They always do,' running through his mind, and he brushed their arms together again, letting the touch linger a little longer this time. "Thank you," Steve said again.

"Don't mention it." Stark led them back to the elevator. "Take the jet back to Hawaii," he said to Steve and Danny. "Cap, new guy, care to hitch a ride with me? I've got a couple of suits that will make those archaic mechanical wings the new guy thinks are so awesome look like dodo birds."

Sam laughed, and Danny hoped that Stark could distract the guy from everything else going on. He knew what it felt like to be in his shoes. He just hoped Sam could move on.

The elevator shot up its fifty thousand stories so quickly Danny felt vaguely ill. Since it looked like he was the only one, judging by the stoic faces around him, he kept that to himself.

Steve thanked Stark again when they reached the plane. "Sure you don't need the plane?" Steve asked.

"They're like buses," Stark said. "There'll be another one in fifteen minutes."

"I'll need to come back and talk to Wo Fat," Steve said. "He still has information I need."

Stark nodded. "I'll give you a call in a few weeks and arrange it. He should be stir crazy enough to talk by then."

"Thanks." Steve said a thank you and a goodbye to Cap and Sam before climbing onto the plane.

Danny said goodbye to Cap, who turned to talk to Stark after as Danny said goodbye to Sam. "Good luck," Danny said. "If you ever need to talk, you've got my number."

"Thanks," Sam said, shaking Danny's hand. "I'll be okay, but it's always good to have someone to talk to when it gets tough."

Danny turned and got on the plane.

***

Steve was silent through takeoff, staring out into space until Danny couldn't take it any longer. "Okay, I know that this plane has a few more distractions than that cargo flight to Cambodia," Danny said, "but I'm pretty sure they'd be more fun with a little conversation. Maybe at least a smile?"

Steve's face softened as he looked at Danny, a hint of a smile around his mouth. "Sorry. Just thinking."

"I know. Stop it."

One eyebrow arched up. "Got something better for me to think about?"

"That depends. You think you can stop worrying and start living, so to speak, now that Wo Fat is contained?"

Steve's huff was enough for Danny to confirm that he still wasn't sure that facility would hold Wo Fat. But he'd have to get past that, and Danny couldn't fix that for him. "I think I can," Steve said at last, slowly, as if just figuring it out. "Maybe with a little help?"

Which was a lot for Steve to admit. "I'm sorry, is there a problem with the pressurization in the cabin?" Danny asked. "I could have sworn you just asked for help."

"Well, if you don't want to help.."

Danny was out of his seat and over to Steve's side before that sentence ended. "Unbuckle that seatbelt and come with me," Danny said.

"Where?" Steve asked, but he unbuckled the belt and stood up.

"I noticed on the way out here that the bathroom is bigger than my bathroom at home," Danny said. "I think the Mile High club would be an excellent way to start living."

"See, I knew you could help."

***

Steve opened the small mailbox in the wall in the lobby to his apartment building, freezing when he saw the postcard. Where Bucky had found Captain America postcards, Steve had no idea, but considering the Bucky he remembered would've found that hysterical, Steve just thought it was a good sign. Anything that showed Bucky's personality was still there was a very good sign.

"Is that mail gonna bite?" Sam asked from behind him.

Steve pulled the mail out of the box, flipping the card over to find no message on the back. Just like the one before. He sighed and held it up so Sam could see.

"Nothing on it?"

Steve shook his head. "He said he'd let me know he was still alive. He didn't say he'd be chatty about it."

"How do you even know they're from him?" Sam asked as he followed Steve up to his apartment.

Steve waited until he was inside his bug-proofed apartment, the door closed, away from prying eyes and ears to say, "Because I know."

Sam studied him for a long time. "What happened that night? It's been two months and you haven't said a thing other than you talked and he went off to find himself."

Steve had had a lot of practice over those two months not blushing when he was asked about it, but he thought Sam might have guessed. "Not much else to tell."

"Look, man, I get it if you can't talk to me about him. I didn't know him and I don't pretend to know what he went through. But maybe you should talk to your friend, Peggy, because she knew him."

Steve was shaking his head before the sentence was even done. "Peggy was a soldier, but she was more of a higher up. She knew Bucky, but not the way I did."

"Then track down Romanov," Sam said. "She at least has some idea what he was put through."

"Natasha's a spy. A friend. But a spy. They live on never completely trusting anyone. She wouldn't get it."

"You need to talk to someone about it."

Steve gave Sam a smile. "You're the only one who knows what it's like to be in the trenches with someone," Steve said quietly. "You know what it's like to lose someone out there. You're the only person I trust who understands. If there was anything to talk about, I'd talk to you. But there's nothing to talk about."

He could tell Sam wasn't quite buying it, but it was true. Some parts of what happened between Steve and Bucky that night were nobody else's business. And the rest of it he'd already talked to Sam about. There was nothing else to say.

After a moment, Sam nodded. "If anything does come up, I'm here."

"I know. Thank you."

***

Steve woke with a start, something more than the faint sound of late night DC traffic alerting his senses. He remained still, ignoring the urge to reach for his shield and feigning sleep as he listened for whatever had woken him up. It only took a few seconds to identify the sound of breathing, quiet though he was.

He wasn't alone in the room.

He rolled over, hand casually off the side of the bed, ready to grab the shield that lay there. A glint of moonlight off metal flashed in his eyes for a moment.

Bucky.

Steve sat up, blinking, but Bucky didn't disappear, the way he always did in dreams. "You're here," Steve said finally.

"You said when I figured out who I was, I knew where to find you."

"Does that mean you're here to stay?"

Bucky's smile was brighter than the metal in the moonlight. "To the end of the line."

---
END

fic: Stay (1/2)

stellarmeadow — Sun, 06 Jul 2014 15:40:24 GMT

Title: Stay
Author: stellarmeadow
Fandoms: Hawaii Five-0, Captain America
Parings: Steve McGarrett/Danny Williams, Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes
Rating: NC17

Summary: As 5-0 investigates an assassination linked to an M.O. going back fifty years, they get more than they bargained for when Captain America and Sam Wilson show up to help.

Notes: This story has been stuck in my head for months, but I needed for H50 to be done before I wrote it, and then it took longer than planned, and ended up about twice as long as planned. But I couldn't let go of the similarities between Steve and Steve, and I really loved exploring that, and how it affects those around them. So happy to have it finally out there now, though, and hopefully there are more than a dozen people who actually want to read a crossover between these two universes.

In case you're not familiar with one of the universes, here are quick ways to catch up so you can read:

Captain America 2 Summary

Summary of H50 Season 4

Huge thanks to all the people who encouraged me when I was banging my head against the wall with this thing. Hope you enjoy it for your suffering in having to listen to my frustration! :)

The drive to U of H was a lot quieter than their usual rides, and Danny knew he was partly to blame. He was usually good at filling any silences, but lately any topic he brought up, no matter how broad, led one of three places--Catherine, Doris, or Wo Fat.

He wasn't in the mood to talk about any of them, so he kept his mouth shut.

"I don't get it," Steve said, eyes on the road, which, while good for their continued safety, was never good for their conversation.

"The Governor is receiving death threats, so we need to be on site for his dedication of the new research facility to make sure he lives through it," Danny said, hoping Steve would take the hint. "What's to get?"

Steve's glance gave Danny a second to prepare himself for one of the three topics he didn't want to deal with. "Wo Fat went to all that trouble to get here and get that message to me that we needed to talk," Steve said, and it was a testament to how much Danny hated the discussion of Catherine and the limbo she'd left Steve in these days that he was actually relieved by the safer topic of Wo Fat. "It's been a week, and nothing. No message, no sign of him anywhere on the island. Nothing."

They'd been over this a couple dozen times, at least. "He's Wo Fat," Danny said, as if that explained it. "Who the hell knows what goes on in that head of his?"

"But if it was so urgent--"

"Maybe he's biding his time," Danny said, starting down the list of reasons they'd already covered before. "Maybe he needs money or resources before he feels safe meeting with you. Maybe he is waiting for the right time for some reason. Or maybe," Danny said, pausing for a breath, "just maybe we got really lucky and a coconut fell on his head and killed him."

Steve's eye rolls always looked amusing in profile. "Seriously, Danny, that coconut thing is not true. I don't care how many internet sites you quote."

And yet it never failed to redirect the conversation. "Says you. But 5,386 Google hits say differently."

"Five million Google hits say that New Jersey sucks," Steve said. "That doesn't stop you from proclaiming it to be the greatest thing since sliced bread."

"That's because sliced bread originated in New Jersey, my friend. You can't argue with that."

Steve gave him the Are You Seriously Trying That? face, one of Danny's favorites. "I can and I will," Steve said. "Beers after work--the one who comes up with the most reliable supporting evidence doesn't have to pay."

"You're on," Danny said, "assuming you don't have any phone calls or anything."

Too late he realized he'd just given Steve an opening to talk about Catherine. "No," Steve said, shaking his head. "I got a text last night, just another message that she had a lead on a lead."

Danny had always liked Catherine, but over the last month he mostly wanted to smack her. He got her noble quest thing and all, he did. But her quest had almost gotten Steve killed, and she wasn't even around to deal with the fallout. She was off tilting at windmills while Danny was the one getting three a.m. phone calls dealing with Steve's nightmares--when he wasn't at Steve's at 3 a.m. anyway--and left with this strange push and pull between them that, but for the constant reminder from Catherine that whatever was between her and Steve was kind of unfinished, might have led to something good over the past few weeks.

All things considered, her quest might be noble, but it was also really fucking annoying.

Steve's phone rang before Danny could think of a single supportive thing to say. "Chin," Steve answered on the speaker phone.

"We got another email," Chin said. "It specifically mentions the dedication ceremony today."

"Okay, we'll meet you there in five," Steve said, with steel in his tone that, even if Danny hadn't known they were ten minutes out, still would've made him grip the armrest and hold onto his ass.

***

"Far be it from me to argue with Captain America," Sam said, his tone indicating that he would, and frequently did, do just that, "but tell me again what makes you think that the Winter Soldier might be in San Diego?"

Steve's sigh was far more long-suffering than he really felt. He liked that Sam challenged him--it kept him from going off on some wild goose chases in this search. But sometimes it could be a little frustrating. "Because someone purchased the bullets that Bucky always uses."

"So some guy buys some bullets and you immediately book flights to San Diego to see if it was him?"

Steve's sigh was more impatient this time. "Do you have a better lead we should follow?" Because they'd been at this for a couple of months and they had nothing to show for it. He didn't know why he'd expected the search to be faster, like he had some sort of internal compass that led straight to Bucky or something.

If that were true, he'd have known Bucky was alive years ago.

The fact that he hadn't known still stung, deep down, like a shard of glass he couldn't pull out of his gut. The single most important person left in his life and he'd just let him fall and left him for dead, left him for Hydra to mold into something Bucky would've hated, if he'd known.

Maybe it was better that he didn't know who he'd used to be.

But no, he needed to remember. Needed to have everything that had happened put right. Steve wouldn't stop until he did.

"Hey," Sam said, his hand reassuring on Steve's arm. "Sorry. I just...I know it's frustrating," he said, though Steve could tell that wasn't what he'd intended to say. "I know you want to find him, and this endless road of dead end leads isn't what you wanted."

It was odd, the way Sam understood him so well, like they'd known each other for a lot longer than a couple of months. But then they had been through similar ordeals, even if they'd been over sixty years apart. "Yeah, sorry," Steve said, flashing him a smile. "It's difficult. But I shouldn't take it out on you."

Sam's shrug was as easy as his smile. "If that was going to drive me away I'd have been gone the first week."

Steve winced at that. "Am I really that bad?"

"You have your days," Sam said, his tone amused.

"Okay, let's go talk to this guy and see what we find out."

"One, 'Hey, did you happen to sell these to a guy with a metal arm?' coming up."

***

Steve's voice was sharp and clear in Danny's ear as he asked, "Anything?"

Danny scanned the crowd on his side of the stage, but he didn't see anything particularly menacing. It was hot, even for Hawaii, so it wasn't like most people had a lot of clothing to hide guns or bombs. The most clothing award--outside of law enforcement and dignitaries--went to the priest who was there to bless the land.

"Nothing," Danny replied, hearing Chin and Kono do the same.

"Governor and dignitaries on the move," Steve said.

"Roger that," Danny replied in his best mocking soldier voice, knowing it would give Steve that pinched face that Danny liked to call 'Score One for Jersey.'

Steve didn't reply, so Danny assumed the Governor and the others were around. That suspicion was confirmed a moment later as the Governor led the way out of the nearby building to the outdoor stage, Steve by his side, scanning the crowd.

They reached the stage without incident. Steve stood aside once he was on the stage to let the Governor pass by to the podium.

"Dear friends of the university," the Governor started, and Danny tuned the words out, but not the tone, a practice born of necessity during a stint with the Mayor's security detail in Newark. He continued to scan the crowd, including Steve in that scan, seeing nothing out of the ordinary at first.

A few minutes in, though, he saw Steve's face change, saw him looking up, and followed his line of sight to see what had caught his eye. A bright flash of light on a building maybe 200 yards away. A reflection, maybe, but if it was, there shouldn't be anything on top of that building that caused it. They'd been over the area from every angle.

He didn't hear the shot so much as he heard the sound of the bullet hitting someone, the gasps of the crowd, and the body falling down. Danny turned to see the scientist who had been sitting just to the right of the podium lying on the ground, her bright green top slowly turning red as blood spilled out of a bullet hole.

Steve was ushering the Governor off the stage, providing cover with his body, the other dignitaries close behind. Danny followed, seeing paramedics rushing onto the stage as he ran by. He didn't stop until he was inside, a few steps behind Steve and Denning.

"Everybody okay?" Danny heard Steve ask.

There was a lot of talking all at once, but Danny got the gist--no one in the room was hit. "Everyone accounted for?"

"Except Dr. Whistler," a tall man in an ill-fitting suit spoke up. "She was shot."

"The paramedics are with her," Danny said, meeting Steve's eyes, feeling the familiar sense of relief that he was okay.

Chin and Kono checked in on the radio, confirming Danny's suspicion that the sniper had been too far away to get to. They'd only found one shell casing, probably missed by the shooter in his haste to clean up, since there'd been at least three shots.

That disappointment was quickly followed by even worse news--Dr. Whistler was dead.

Danny knew the Governor a little by now, knew that he would be feeling some guilt over someone dying in his place. He gave the man a sympathetic smile as he dragged Steve off to the side. "You good?" Danny asked.

Steve nodded. "We need to get Whistler to Max and get ballistics as soon as possible, see if we can get a lead to track this guy down before he tries again. We got lucky this time."

"Tell that to Dr. Whistler."

Steve winced. "Yeah," he said, putting a hand on Danny's shoulder and leaving it there a moment longer than really necessary, but Danny wasn't complaining. "At least with the Governor safe for now, we have a chance at catching the doctor's killer."

Which was one of the things that sucked about their job, but it was better than nothing.

***

Steve watched as Sam slept comfortably in the airplane seat beside him. Sam had no trouble dropping off to sleep on planes anywhere, a talent that Steve envied. It wasn't that Steve minded flying. But when they were flying over oceans, they were completely out of communications range. Nothing that happened in the world could penetrate their sheltered bubble in the plane.

Since New York he'd had trouble coping with going dark. Since the fall of SHIELD, that neuroses had only doubled. He was scared to turn his phone back on at the end of the flight, worried about what kind of horrible thing might've happened in the four hours or so they'd been out of touch between San Diego and Honolulu.

Adding to that worry was the knowledge that the bullets they were tracking had been shipped to Honolulu two days ago. He couldn't escape the feeling that time was running short on this lead.

Sam jolted awake as the plane touched down, rubbing his eyes before stretching his arms over his head. He glanced down at Steve's hand, where his phone was sitting, and rolled his eyes.

"Here," Sam said, taking the phone out of Steve's hand and turning it on. He waited for the phone to boot up and checked the texts and the world news. "Nothing," he said. "The world is still--"

He cut off and frowned at the phone tapping the screen and scrolling. "What happened?" Steve asked.

"The world is fine," he said. "But there's been a sniper shooting in Honolulu."

"What?" Steve took the phone, his hope that it was a coincidence rising a little as he read the brief news alert. Shooting at the University of Hawaii, the shooter missed the Governor and hit a scientist sitting beside him. More to come. "It can't be him," Steve said, putting the phone in his pocket as they pulled up to the jet bridge and the seat belt lights went off. "He doesn't miss."

"Maybe he does. He missed his target with Fury."

Steve shook his head. "No, he got the car the first time, Fury just got away. And the second, he hit his target, just not a kill shot. Barely."

"Not getting a kill shot is missing for this guy."

"Bucky," Steve said as he grabbed his bag and stood. He couldn't quite meet Sam's eyes, didn't want to see the look that would be there. "His name is Bucky."

He glanced at Sam's eyes and saw the expression anyway--some odd mix of sympathy and impatience. "Go," Sam said, nodding towards the front of the plane. "Let's see what the cops have to say."

***

Danny poked his head into Steve's office. "Ballistics report is in," he said, turning and heading back to the bullpen, knowing Steve would be right behind.

Chin and Kono were at the computer table, waiting. "Charlie just sent the report," Kono said, tapping at the screen and swiping some files onto the overheads. "The bullets were Soviet," Kono said. "That much they could tell. And they matched the one casing we found."

"So is that an unused one?" Steve asked, nodding at the screen, where a smooth bullet was pictured.

"No, that's the weird part. That one was pulled from Whistler's body."

Danny frowned. "That's impossible. There's no rifling."

"That's what's weird," Kono repeated.

Chin swiped something else up onto the screen. "There've been reports," he said, "over the years of an assassin using those bullets. But that's over 50 years. It's more likely a group, or something passed down. There's no way it could be just one person."

"Yes," a voice said from behind them, "it could."

Danny whirled around, hand on his gun, before he saw the speaker was Captain America himself, accompanied by one of the HPD officers who escorted guests to them, and another man Danny thought looked vaguely familiar. "Great," Danny said, "don't tell me this guy's a superhero. No, wait, better, he's an alien, right?"

Before Captain America could respond, Steve stepped forward. "Sam?" he said, moving towards the man Danny couldn't place. "Sam Wilson?"

The man blinked a few times, then his face cleared, a bright smile spreading across it. "Steve McGarrett!"

Their handshake made Danny want to step between them. "How, exactly," Danny said, "do you two know each other?"

"Sam saved my life," Steve said. "Our whole team, actually. He and his partner got us out when no other air support could even get close."

"And this guy almost didn't make it," Sam said, pointing at Steve. "Insisted on the rest of his team getting out first. I barely made it out with him in tow."

Danny shook his head, totally unsurprised. "That sounds like him," Danny said.

"I heard about Riley, man," Steve said to Sam, his voice making it clear to Danny what he'd heard. "I'm sorry."

Sam shrugged. "It happens."

And it still leaves a mark when you lose a partner, Danny thought, seeing that written all over Sam's face. "So now that we know how you two know each other," Danny said, "maybe someone can explain why you," he nodded at Sam, "and Captain America are here and how you know our assassin?"

"Call me Steve," Captain America said.

Danny looked at his Steve, then at Captain America. "That could get a little confusing."

Captain America shrugged, and Sam rolled his eyes. "Call him Cap, then," Sam said, elbowing Cap in the arm. The look they exchanged made Danny wonder just what their relationship really was, but Cap straightened up and put on what passed for an attempt at a smile. "Sorry, we've taken a lot of plane rides the last couple of days," Sam said, "and his manners tend to disappear."

Danny couldn't help but laugh at that--looked like Steve really did model himself after Captain America after all. "At least he has them some of the time," Danny said. Steve glared at him, but Danny just gave him a sunny smile.

Steve gave him a look before turning back to their visitors. "This is Danny Williams," he said, nodding at Danny. "And the rest of our team," Steve added, waving a hand at Chin and Kono. "Chin Ho Kelly and Kono Kalakaua."

"Nice to meet you," Cap said, his manners apparently surfacing.

"So what can you tell us about the assassin?" Steve asked.

"That depends," Cap said, "on whether it's really the man we're looking for."

"There's more than one person who uses these bullets and manages to do it without any rifling?" Steve asked.

"No," Sam said before Cap could get a word in.

Danny saw the look they exchanged. "Then why would it not be your guy?"

"Because our guy doesn't miss," Cap said, giving Sam another look.

"Except when he does," Sam said.

Danny pinched the bridge of his nose. They didn't have time for this. "Look, the Governor's life is at stake," he said. "Can we maybe get some idea of what we're dealing with here?"

"You," Cap said, looking at Chin, "were on the right track. The assassin you're talking about is known as the Winter Soldier, right?"

"Yeah. But all those kills over 50 years?" Chin said. "Couldn't be one guy."

"Why not?" Cap said. "I'm 95."

Chin frowned. "But there's only one of you."

"Apparently not quite," Sam said.

"Someone else was working on replicating the serum I took," Cap said. "He managed to create an assassin who could be...."

With a look at Cap, Sam picked up the story. "He could be stored and wiped between missions. They kept him in cryo freeze until they needed him, then thawed him out. Once his mission was done, they wiped his memory and froze him again."

"So the Winter Soldier is real?" Chin said.

"Pretty much," Sam said.

Steve had been listening to the exchange with the look that Danny knew meant his bullshit meter was pinging. Or maybe it was just that Danny's was, too. "So what are you not telling us?" Steve asked.

He didn't need the look Sam and Cap exchanged to confirm it, but it did nonetheless. "Not telling you?" Sam said.

"SHIELD no longer exists," Steve said. "So it's not like you're here for a routine check on an assassin. So either this guy is someone SHIELD used to do their dirty work, or he's Hydra. And he clearly means enough to you to go after him despite you being a man without an agency, so to speak."

Cap clenched his jaw together and Danny added another note into the column of how Steve was way too much like Captain America. "Before he was the Winter Soldier," Cap said slowly, "he was Bucky Barnes. My best friend."

Shit. That explained a lot, both now and with what had happened in DC. "So you're here to show an assassin mercy," Steve said, "because he used to be a guy he doesn't even remember?"

"No, I'm here to find my friend, who left Hydra because he was starting to remember."

Danny could tell by Sam's face that whether or not Barnes remembered anything was still very much in question. "Well, if he's trying to kill the Governor," Danny said, "then it doesn't seem very likely that he's remembering he's a good guy."

"Is it possible your Governor is Hydra?" Cap asked.

Danny looked at Steve, then at Chin and Kono, knowing what they were all thinking. "Anything's possible," Danny said finally, since they would all have vouched for Jameson a hundred percent until they realized she was in bed with the Yakuza. "But not likely."

"Do you have any photos or video from the event?" Cap asked.

Kono tapped on the computer table. "We have it queued up," she said. "We haven't had a chance to go through it yet."

"Can we just see the shooting?" Cap asked, giving her a smile and adding a, "Please?" that had Kono beaming and Danny rolling his eyes. Figures, the one time she chooses to be a total girl about someone it would be a superhero.

She pulled up the video to the right time and let it play. Danny watched as Whistler jumped up a little, as if the bullet had surprised her, before she fell to the ground, as the Steve covered the Governor and started leading people off stage.

"Can you play it again?" Cap asked, frowning at the screen. Kono played it twice more before Cap pointed. "There," he said, "go back a few seconds."

Kono rewound frame by frame until Cap said, "Stop." He pointed again. "Look at her face--she's looking up towards where the bullet comes from before it hits her. She's getting up just as it hits, like she's trying to get away."

Danny frowned. "That's pretty thin."

"Do you have any background on her?" Cap asked.

"What are you thinking, Cap?" Sam asked.

Steve answered before Cap could get the words out. "He's thinking that Whistler might've been the target all along."

***

The police were already going through Whistler's files when they got to her office at the University. Cap surveyed the room, knowing that if he just paid close enough attention, if he looked hard enough, he'd--"There," he said, crossing to Whistler's desk. Sam was at his side by the time Cap was able to pull the almost imperceptible door open on the side of the desk.

Inside the small compartment was a thumb drive. Cap inserted it into the computer on the desk, looking through the files. "I'm no expert," he said, looking up at Sam and the 5-0 task force, "but it doesn't take one to bet that Hydra is all over this research, even if she's scrubbed the name."

He pulled the thumb drive out and pocketed it. "I'll send it to a contact and confirm."

"That's evidence," McGarrett said, stepping forward as if to block him.

"Yes. It is." Cap gave him a level look. "My evidence."

He thought for a moment that he was going to have a challenge, but Williams took a step forward and said something to McGarrett. After a moment, he backed down. "You'll share your findings?"

"Of course." It wasn't as if SHIELD had the ability to classify things anymore, he thought grimly.

"Good."

He saw Sam's eye roll, but ignored it. "Why don't you guys join us for dinner in a couple of hours," Sam said, "and we can compare notes on what we've found?"

Cap was about to add to the invitation, but something outside the window caught his attention. He moved to get a closer look, and got one solid glimpse of a man that made him think he might be cracking up. He blinked, and there was nothing there.

"Cap?" Sam asked, his tone making it clear it wasn't the first time. "You see something?"

He shook his head and moved away from the window. "Must've been a trick of the light," he said. "Let's go make a few calls and see what we can find out about this research."

***

They'd just pulled into the parking garage at the Hilton when Steve's phone rang. He glanced at the screen, then at Danny. "It's Catherine," he said. "Go on in, I'll be there in a minute."

"Tell Don Quixote I said hi," Danny muttered as he got out of the car. He had managed to stuff most of his Catherine-shaped issues back down inside by the time he got to the Tropics Bar and spotted Sam.

"Good to see you again," Sam said as Danny sat down. "Cap's on the phone; he'll be down in a minute. Where's the rest of your team?"

"Chin and Kono have a family thing on the North Shore this weekend, but they're on call if we need them," Danny said. "Steve's in the car, also on the phone."

Clearly not all of his issues were well-hidden. "On the phone?" Sam asked. "Is that a euphemism for something?"

Danny rolled his eyes, pausing to order two Longboards from the waitress before deciding whether or not to answer the question. What the hell, it wasn't like he'd see this guy again after this. "Ex-girlfriend," Danny said. "Or possibly girlfriend. I'm not really clear on that one."

"Is he clear on that one?"

"No," Danny said. "He's not."

"Ah."

It was only one word, but it sounded like it had a wealth of understanding behind it. "She's off on some quest to save some kid. Very noble." Danny said.

"And it's impossible to compete with a noble ideal that's still out there somewhere," Sam added.

Danny looked a little more closely, seeing the understanding there, but seeing more, too. "So what's the deal with Cap and this Bucky guy?" Danny asked, certainty settling in about the problem there when he saw Sam's reaction.

"Bucky was his best friend," Sam said. "They served together. Cap saved him when he was captured. And then he died," Sam said, taking a drink of his beer. "Or so everybody thought."

"But not so much, I'm guessing, if you think he might be our assassin."

Sam sighed, studying his beer bottle. "Bucky was the Winter Soldier," he said, after a moment. "That part's fact. But what he is now is anyone's guess."

"Cap thinks he's changed?"

"Cap thinks Bucky pulled him out of the Potomac."

"And what do you think?"

Sam shook his head. "Doesn't matter what I think. Not to him."

"I'm not asking him." Danny thanked the waitress as she put the beers in front of him, waiting until she was gone before continuing. "I'm asking you."

"I fought that guy," Sam said. "There was nothing there. He was a machine."

Danny studied him for a few seconds. "But...?"

"Cap knows him," Sam said. "And after what was done to him...who am I to say he doesn't deserve a chance if he's fought his way back?"

"If he's still killing it doesn't sound like he's fought his way back."

"If he's killing off Hydra he might have."

Danny took a long drink of his beer. "So if he comes back, where does that leave you?"

Sam raised a shoulder in a half shrug. "Cap has all these stories about before. He talks about things no one else remembers--little things, even, like candy. The other day he was talking about some candy--Abba Dabba candy or something like that--and he realized no one had any idea what he was talking about."

He took a drink. "I hate the look he gets when that happens. Just like the way he looks when he talks about what it's like to survive that serum. To wake up after being frozen for decades and have the whole world have changed." Sam looked at Danny. "There's only one person on the planet who has any idea what that's like. And it's not me."

Danny got that, more or less. "Steve and Catherine served together," he said. "They're hardwired by the Navy and impossible to pull back sometimes. I get it to a point, but only to a point."

Danny considered his next story for a moment, but fuck it. He hadn't signed anything saying he couldn't talk about it. "The two of them went off to Afghanistan last month to chase down that kid," Danny said, his voice low. "I barely got Steve back after he was captured, and I still wake up in the middle of the night from nightmares about it going the other way."

He turned his bottle in his hand. "And I know he'd go back in a heartbeat if he thought he could help. So every time she calls, I think, that's it. I'm gonna wake up tomorrow to a note that he's gone off to rescue her."

"But he hasn't left so far."

"No." Danny agreed. "He hasn't. And I don't know if it's because he really believes he'll be making it harder for her to work if he does, or if it's because of the nightmares he still has."

"Nightmares from last month?"

Danny's laugh had no humor to it. "Last month, last year, the year before that." He glanced up at Sam. "Trust me, the guy's got enough nightmare material to last for decades."

"Yeah, I'm familiar." Sam drank the last of his beer and signaled to the waitress. "I...flew," he said. "And one day my partner got shot down right in front of me."

"Riley?"

Sam nodded. "Losing a partner makes you question what you're doing there, y'know?"

"I know," Danny said, remembering how Grace's lifeless body felt all these years later. "But you gotta move on, right?"

"You do," Sam said, nodding his head. "Doesn't mean the nightmares go away, though."

Danny saw Steve round the corner to the table and sat up, nodding as Steve made eye contact. Something in his eyes seemed off, though, and Danny watched him carefully as he sat down. His shoulders were rounded, and he wasn't entirely meeting Danny's eyes.

Maybe he'd wait to ask how the call went until they were alone.

"Any word on the thumb drive we found?" Steve asked.

"Cap was still on the phone with his contact when I came down," Sam said. He looked up towards the door. "Looks like he's done, though."

Danny looked over his shoulder to see Cap heading towards them, a few eyes in the crowd widening as they realized who he was. He didn't seem to notice, though, he just crossed to their table and sat down next to Sam. "Whistler was Hydra," Cap said. "Hill confirmed it. The research matched something they knew Hydra had been working on but they didn't know where it was coming from."

"Then he didn't miss," Sam said.

"You don't know it was him," Cap shot back.

"Calm down. I meant he in the general sense," Sam said.

Cap looked like he wasn't sure, but he let it go. "Did you find out anything?" he asked, looking at Steve, then at Danny.

"We interviewed a couple of her research assistants, but they were only working on small parts of it. They had no idea what the overall project was."

"Hydra was even better than SHIELD at compartmentalization," Cap said. He didn't sound like it was a compliment. "Whoever took her out did the world a favor."

Danny saw Steve's fist clench. "And nearly killed our Governor in the process," Steve said.

"But he didn't."

"But he could've. Five people were hurt in the rush to escape after the shooting. Innocent people. What about them?"

"Innocent people get hurt in war," Cap said.

Steve's eyebrows shot up, and Danny braced himself to stop a fight. "You think I don't know that?" Steve said. "But in my experience it's usually because someone goes off thinking they're some kind of god meant to bring vengeance--"

"Okay," Danny said, placing his hand on Steve's forearm. "Dial it down a notch. We're all on the same side here, right?"

Steve's lips thinned as he looked at Danny a moment before he sighed, and Danny felt some of the anger leave him. Steve gave a short nod. "Right."

"Good," Danny said. "Then let's order some dinner and talk about how we're going to find whoever this is and do whatever needs to be done."

They placed an order, and managed conversation well enough until Cap stood suddenly, his attention out on the beach. "Be right back," he said, hurrying out of the restaurant and onto the beach. Danny watched him look around before he slowly made his way back to the table.

"Something wrong?" Danny asked, as Cap sat back down.

"No. I just thought I saw someone I knew."

Danny exchanged a glance with Sam and knew they were thinking the same thing. But since no one had shot at them, Danny let it go.

***

Steve could tell Sam had something on his mind as they went up in the elevator, but Sam was kind enough, or military enough, to wait until they were in Steve's hotel room before questioning him. "What was out on the beach?" Sam asked as soon as they were in the room.

"Nothing." Which was the truth--whatever he'd thought he'd seen, it wasn't there when he'd gotten to the beach.

"Okay, what did you think was out on the beach."

He really needed to get better at lying. "I thought I saw someone," he said, moving a few steps away into the center of the room.

"Was it him?"

Steve shook his head, turning to look at Sam. "I thought I saw Rumlow."

"Rumlow's in DC covered in burns from head to toe."

"But what if he's not?"

"Dude, I had a front row seat for the crash that burned him. I can barely believe he's alive, and I sure as hell can't believe he's walking around."

Steve would've said the same thing about Bucky for half a century. "What if he had the serum in him?"

Sam's head shake was quick and emphatic. "No way. I fought him. It was nothing like fighting you or...anyone with the serum."

"Okay, maybe someone gave it to him after and it healed his wounds. Maybe he's here cleaning up Hydra's mess."

"Steve...I'm not saying it's impossible, but....it's pretty out there, man."

Steve turned, looking beyond the curtains to the sliver of view of dark blue sky that ended in black ocean below. It looked so peaceful, and yet he'd crashed into its depths more than once, expecting never to come back again.

A flicker of movement behind the curtain drew his attention, and he ran out onto the balcony, yanking the curtain back. But there was nothing there, only sea breeze causing the curtain to move.

He went back into the room and met Sam's eyes, seeing the sympathy and concern there. He wished he could just accept that, move on, let Sam help him forget the past.

"Nothing there?" Sam asked softly.

"No."

"You know, it's not crazy." Still that same voice, soft and careful, like Steve had to be handled with kid gloves. "It's perfectly normal to see--"

"Spare me the analysis, doctor," Steve said, pushing past him. "I'm going for a run."

***

Danny watched Steve's profile as he drank his beer and looked out at the ocean. He'd known when Steve had joined them at the table that his call with Catherine hadn't gone well, but he'd decided to give Steve until they were home and Danny finished his first beer to talk, before Danny dragged it out of him. And if it was as much because Danny needed the beer to have the conversation, so be it.

When Danny cracked open his second beer, he shifted his body towards Steve. "So what did Catherine have to say?"

Steve's answer was a long time coming, as he finished his beer and put the empty down. "She's run out of leads on her own," he said, his voice strangely flat, a tone Danny usually associated with Doris. "But the CIA offered her some intel, so she's working with them to go after the cell that captured Najib."

Danny was sure he'd heard wrong. "The CIA?"

Steve nodded, looking out at the ocean, refusing to even look Danny's direction. "She thinks they can help her find him."

Still with that tone, and Danny got why now. He took a deep breath, but it didn't help shove down the anger he felt at the CIA, at Doris, and now at Catherine for what they thought it was okay to do to Steve. And at Steve, for thinking it was okay. He got duty, but this...this was just beyond duty. "So Catherine knows about your mom, and about how she used the CIA to run away, and that was her decision? To go work for them?"

"With them, Danny. Only to find Najib."

"Oh, please, Steven, we both know what working 'with' the CIA really means. You're never really out--just ask your mom. No, wait, you can't! Because she's still off working for the CIA! The same CIA, I might add, that just tried to kill us both not too long ago!"

Danny broke off at the look on Steve's face, one he didn't have a name for, but he recognized it from the early days of their partnership, from every time something reminded Steve of his dad, before the wounds started to heal. The one that said Steve was trying to think of all the ways he could've prevented what happened.

"No," Danny said, his voice quieter, but firm. "No. Absolutely no. You do not get to blame yourself for this. This is not your fault."

"I never said it was my fault."

"No, but I know that look and I know you, and you're sitting there trying to find a way to take at least some of the blame. And I won't let you."

Steve shot out of the chair. He took a few steps towards the water, then turned back moving until he was towering over Danny. "They had no choice," Steve said, his voice hoarse. "Catherine has to find Najib. My mom has to stay alive. They had--no, they have no choice."

"They had the choice not to go in the first place," Danny countered, standing up, inches from Steve, close enough he could feel the harsh, uneven breaths as Steve struggled to keep his control. "You keep defending your mom. You spent half your life defending your dad. And now you're defending Catherine. At what point," Danny asked, holding Steve's gaze, "are you gonna realize that you're better than that? You're worth so much more than a life where people just keep deserting you."

Steve flinched a little. "Not everyone deserts me," he said, his voice quiet now. "You don't desert me. Ever."

The truth of that hit Danny in the gut, more because Steve realized it than just because it was a fact. He'd tried, but he hadn't been able to leave, and he'd stopped fooling himself about the reason a while ago.

He just hadn't thought Steve had noticed.

The ringing of a phone startled them both. Steve's phone, Danny realized, as Steve took a step back and pulled the phone out of his pocket. Only when he put the phone to his ear did he tear his gaze away from Danny's.

"McGarrett."

The way every muscle in Steve's body tensed for battle told Danny whoever was on the other end, it wasn't good. "Fine," Steve bit out after a moment, jabbing the screen to end the call.

"Steve?"

Steve looked at him. "That was Wo Fat. He's named his price for a meet and some answers."

"What?"

"He wants the serum they used on Captain America."

***

Cap wasn't surprised to see Sam still waiting on him when he got back from his run. "Did you make it to the other end of the island and back?" Sam asked mildly.

Which was just enough to make Cap feel like a jerk. "I'm sorry," he said.

"I get it," Sam said, waving a dismissive hand at the apology. "And like I said, the idea that Rumlow is in one piece and here is out there...but it's not impossible. I'm just asking you to keep your mind open."

After a moment, Cap nodded. He was still trying to figure out what to say, though, when there was a knock at the door. He opened it, frowning when he saw McGarrett and Williams there. "Has something happened?" Cap asked.

"Not with the case," McGarrett said. "But...I have a favor to ask."

Cap could tell the words didn't come easily. "Come in."

McGarrett came in, Williams close behind. A quick look at Williams' expression told Cap that he was there reluctantly, though why was still a mystery. "We put a guy away," McGarrett said. "Wo Fat. He broke out last month, and I have a chance to meet with him and put him back where he belongs."

"How can I help with that?" Cap asked.

"Wo Fat's price for a meet is the serum that they used on you."

"I wish I could help," Cap said, and he really did. "But there is no more serum." Even as he was saying it, the visions of Rumlow flashed through his mind. "All we had was destroyed the day they gave it to me."

McGarrett's eyes narrowed as he looked at Cap for a long moment. "Do you have anything that I can offer him? A lead on the formula, anything? I'm not planning on letting him have it, but I need it to get close to him." McGarrett stepped a little closer. "This guy had my father killed and hunted my mother for years," he said. "I need to catch him."

He and McGarrett were a lot alike, he could tell. And he understood what it took for the guy to be this forthright. "I'm really sorry," he said. "We'll help you catch him any way we can. But there is no more serum. SHIELD tried to find it or replicate it for decades with no success. It's gone."

McGarrett studied him for a moment longer, then nodded. "Okay," he said, nodding again. "Thanks. Sorry to have bothered you."

"If there's any other way we can help you capture him, let us know."

With one more nod and a look at Williams, McGarrett strode out the door, leaving Williams to call out a thanks as he followed.

Cap looked over at Sam, who was watching him closely. "What?"

"You know why he asked you twice, right?"

"Because he really needs it?"

"Because you're a terrible liar and it was obvious you were hiding something."

Cap sighed. "I wasn't hiding anything. I don't have the serum, I don't have any way to get it."

"But you think it exists."

"Bucky is living proof that Hydra managed to make some version of it," Cap said. "Rumlow was one of their most trusted soldiers. They'd give it to him to repair him and make him stronger if they had it. I know they would."

Sam thought about that for a moment. "Your theory is getting less crazy by the minute," he said, sounding reluctant.

"Then we need to figure out who shot the Governor and find him before 5-0 does, or they could all be dead."

***

It was a quiet ride back to Steve's house. Steve didn't talk, and Danny didn't know what to say to break the silence. Part of him really wanted to finish the conversation they'd been having before Wo Fat called, but he knew Steve wasn't in the frame of mind to have it.

Which left Wo Fat as the obvious topic, but he was pretty sure Steve wouldn't want to hear what Danny had to say on that matter, either.

It wasn't until they were inside the house that Steve turned to Danny. "How did he know in advance?" he said.

"What?"

"The serum. He couldn't have known I was going to be working with Captain America when he broke out--unless he's the one behind the shooting and he did it in a way sure to get Cap here."

"Wo Fat's not that good a shot," Danny said.

"No, but he could hire someone who was."

Danny shook his head. "With what money?"

"He has to have some stashed on the island somewhere," Steve said, waving a hand as if logic was insignificant. "Or maybe someone owed him a favor. He's Wo Fat."

Which was a catch all for a whole bunch of inexplicable stuff the guy had managed that normal people could not. "So Wo Fat wants the serum to heal his burns and make him pretty much invincible," Danny said. "So he decides to assassinate someone nobody knew was Hydra, except him, apparently, knowing that it'll get Cap to fly all the way to Hawaii and give him the chance to get you to get the serum from Cap."

Steve looked at him as if that was sane logic. "You got a better idea?"

"Maybe he was just biding his time until you had something he wanted and he saw this opportunity so he took it?"

"Maybe." But Steve didn't sound like he meant it.

Danny sighed. He knew better than to try to talk logic into Steve where Wo Fat was concerned. "Look," he said. "Let's just--"

Steve's phone rang, and he had it out in a flash, checking the number. He didn't need to say it--Danny could tell from his face that it was Wo Fat. "McGarrett." Steve listened for a moment. "I have it. Ten o'clock. Tantalus. Got it."

He hung up, and Danny counted to five to try not to yell. "Please tell me," he said slowly, "that you did not just tell Wo Fat you had a serum that doesn't even exist."

"I did not just tell Wo Fat I had a serum that doesn't even exist."

"You are not funny."

Steve put his hands out. "What was I supposed to do, Danny? We have to catch him. Do you know something else he wants?"

"You, dead?"

"If he wanted me dead, I'd be dead. No," Steve said, putting a hand up, "don't argue with me--look how many chances he's had. He doesn't want me dead."

Yet. "Until he's done with you," Danny said. "Then what?"

That muscle in Steve's jaw that spelled nothing but trouble was jumping as he took a deep, loud breath through his nostrils. "I have to go meet him," he said, looking at his watch.

"Fine. I'm coming along."

"He said come alone."

"Of course he did. I know you are not nearly as stupid as you sound right now."

"Danny--"

"Steve! I am not letting you go alone."

The muscle was working overtime. "Fine," Steve ground out after a moment.

"And we should call for backup."

"You are my backup."

Yeah, that helped. Because the last time he said that, Danny ended up being shot and blown backwards off a porch. "You are a menace."

"Kinda makes you wonder why you want to save me," Steve said, raising an eyebrow, some of his humor returning now that he'd more or less won the argument.

"You're telling me."

"Let me grab a few things and we can go."

Steve ran off to the garage, and Danny pulled out his phone. Chin and Kono were on the North Shore and would never make it back in time. He started to call them anyway, then remembered Cap's offer to help.

It would be a hell of a lot harder for Wo Fat to escape from Captain America. Might also sell the serum lie if Cap was discovered.

Checking over his shoulder to see if Steve was in sight, Danny sent a quick text to Sam.

***

"You're sure this is the place?" Cap whispered.

Sam checked his phone's GPS. "As sure as I can be without SHIELD's equipment to back me up, yeah," he whispered back.

For all that SHIELD clearly had to go, Cap missed the resources, too. "I don't see--wait." He crept closer to the edge of the tree line, catching a glimpse of movement on the other side. "There."

He watched as McGarrett and Williams approached an Asian man of indeterminate age, at least in the moonlight and at this distance.

"I thought I told you to come alone," the man, who Cap assumed was Wo Fat, said.

"I guess I don't take directions as well as McGarrett here does," Williams said, jerking a thumb at McGarrett.

Wo Fat looked at Williams, then back at McGarrett. "You have the serum?" he asked.

"You first," McGarrett said.

Clearly he'd lied to Wo Fat about having it to get the meeting. Because lying to criminals that you have what they want worked out so well.

Wo Fat studied McGarrett for a moment. "You don't have it."

"I'm not stupid. I don't have it on me." Cap had to hand it to McGarrett, he was good. Cap would've probably bought the lie if he didn't know for a fact McGarrett didn't have it. "You tell me what I want to know, though, and I'll go get it."

There was a long, tense pause before Wo Fat said, "You're lying." He took a step back and pulled out a gun, aiming it at McGarrett.

Cap threw his shield, knocking the gun out of Wo Fat's hand as Cap ran out to stop him before he could get away. He had Wo Fat on the ground in a few seconds, face down, his hands trapped in one of Cap's. "Got any cuffs?" he asked, looking up at McGarrett and Williams.

McGarrett gave Williams a look that made Cap glad he wasn't planning on being around for whatever discussion they had later. "Here," McGarrett said, pulling out a zip tie and handing it over.

Cap secured Wo Fat's hands and helped him up, handing him over to Williams. "Need any help with him?" Cap asked.

"I can take it from here," Williams said. "Thanks."

Movement at the edge of the clearing caught Cap's eye, and he turned to catch the end of what looked like a person disappearing into the trees. He ran into the woods, chasing after whatever had moved, but when he stopped, there was no sign of anything other than trees.

He looked around and listened for a minute, but there was nothing. Already dreading the conversation with Sam, he headed back out to where everyone was still standing, watching him. "See something?" Sam asked.

"I thought I did," Cap replied. "Must've been a trick of the light," he said, before turning to McGarrett. "We'll meet you at your headquarters."

McGarrett looked like he might argue, but Williams got in there first. "See you there," he said, dragging Wo Fat, and by extension, McGarrett, towards their car.

***

The drive back was eerily quiet. Steve kept one eye on the road and one in the rear view mirror, trained on Wo Fat. Danny mostly kept both eyes on Wo Fat.

They'd just locked Wo Fat in the rendition room when Cap and Sam showed up. "Thanks for letting us come back here," Cap said. "I didn't want to give anything away in front of your guy, but there's a chance he might know something about the assassin."

"We thought the same thing," Danny said, ignoring Steve's glare.

"What made you think so?" Steve asked after a moment, as if he was giving away a state secret just by asking a question.

After a nudge from Sam, Cap sighed. "I wasn't lying about the serum," he said. "We don't have it. Haven't since they gave it to me. But there is a chance that Hydra had something similar."

"The assassin has super serum?" Danny asked. "Great. That's fantastic."

"We don't know who the assassin is yet," Cap said.

"So there's more than one super serum-fueled assassin running around?" Danny said, making a face. "Even better. What next, the president is actually Hydra?"

Sam put his hand on Cap's arm. "Hydra had a soldier," Sam said, "high up in their command, named Rumlow. He was burned in the Insight helicarrier wrecks at the Triskelion. Burned bad, too. All over. Last we heard he was in a coma in a military hospital under heavy guard."

"You think he got the serum and is all better and out shooting people?" Danny asked.

"We don't know anything yet," Cap said. "I have a call in asking someone to make sure he's where he's supposed to be. But...it's possible."

Steve had been standing beside Danny silently, but radiating tension out of every pore. "Why?" he asked.

"Why what?"

"Why do you think that he might be here and on the serum?"

Cap glanced at Sam before he said, "I thought I saw him a few times. At Whistler's office, on the beach, tonight when you captured Wo Fat."

"And you didn't think to tell us until now?" Steve asked.

"It was impossible," Cap said. "It couldn't have been him. So I dismissed it as my mind playing tricks on me."

"And now you think differently?" Danny asked.

"Maybe. I don't know." Cap shrugged. "There's enough of a question there that I'd like to talk to Wo Fat and see if he knows the guy."

Steve laughed. "He won't tell you anything."

"He might."

"If you have a blow torch, maybe," Steve said.

Danny's eyes darted to Steve's face, but there was no emotion there. "It wouldn't hurt to let him have a chance," Danny said to Steve.

Steve frowned at him, then shrugged. "Fine. Take your best shot."

"Come on," Danny said. "I'll take you down there."

He led Cap and Sam down to the rendition room. Cap went in, but Sam stayed outside with Danny to watch through the mirror. Wo Fat raised an eyebrow as Cap walked in, a smug smirk totally out of place for someone who was tied to a chair in police custody.

"Who are you working with?" Cap asked.

"Do you have the serum?" Wo Fat replied.

Cap waited for a moment. "No."

Wo Fat didn't waste another breath. He just stared ahead in response to the rest of Cap's questions until Cap came back out of the room. "Are you sure he's not Hydra?" Cap asked.

"No," Danny said honestly. Because he wouldn't put it past Wo Fat to use Hydra for all he could get from them. "But if he is, he's got no loyalty to them."

"Why?"

"Because his only loyalty is to himself. He'll work with anyone who can help him, but he'll turn on them in a second if someone else can help him more."

"At least you have him in custody," Sam said.

"For now."

Cap frowned. "For now?"

"He's broken out of every prison we've put him in. Even the ones you can't break out of."

Cap thought for a moment. "I need to make a call," he said, pulling out his cell phone.

***

"Come on, Hill," Cap said quietly into the phone, "I know Stark has to have some place to shove this guy. Or at least an idea how he can make it so the guy can't break out."

He heard Hill's long sigh, and knew he'd won. "I'll see what I can do."

"Thanks. I owe you one."

"One?" She laughed. "You wish."

He laughed with her as he hung up and joined the others in the main room. "I'm sorry I couldn't get him to talk," Cap said. "But I may have a lead on a place he can't break out of, if that helps."

"Hell has an opening?" Williams said.

"Not quite. SHIELD facilities are all out of the question now, obviously, but I know someone who might be able to help. I'll let you know as soon as I hear back."

"Thanks," Williams said. After a nudge from Williams, McGarrett echoed the thanks.

Cap nodded. "Least I can do. Thank you for letting me talk to him." He nodded to Sam. "We should go. I'll be in touch tomorrow once I've heard back."

***

Chapter 2

fic: Pu'uwai Hao Kila (1/1)

stellarmeadow — Fri, 16 May 2014 05:27:58 GMT

Title: Pu'uwai Hao Kila
Author: stellarmeadow
Fandom: Hawaii Five-0
Paring: Steve/Danny
Rating: NC17
Summary: Sometimes the biggest obstacles to conquer are internal.
Notes: OMG IT'S DONE! *ahem* Thank you all, so much, for sticking with me through this, for all the lovely, kind words, and the encouragement. I had no idea if I would make it through an entire season when I started this, and I still kind of can't believe I did. I hope that you enjoy the ending and that it is worth all the time you've spent reading it over the past eight months. :)

A note about the title: Pu'uwai Hao Kila means heart of steel, courageous

Spoilers all over the place from 4.22. You've been warned!

Part of the S4 Coda Series - if you've missed any, visit the master post.

Danny dragged his way out of sleep, the fog lifted much more quickly than normal at the desperate sound of his name. He blinked his eyes open, the somewhat familiar heaviness of Steve leaning into him, their bodies pressed together in quite possibly the most uncomfortable sleeping position possible, sitting up on a couch, instantly grounding him.

Right. Steve's. Nightmares.

Danny shifted, his arm sliding out from behind Steve's just enough for Danny to rest his hand on Steve's lower back. "Hey," Danny said, his voice a near whisper, "it's okay. You're home. You're safe."

Nine times out of ten, the words calmed Steve, repeating them putting him back to sleep without him even realizing it. The other time it woke him up.

This was one of the other times.

Steve opened his eyes, and Danny watched as the focus came back, as Steve left whatever battlefield, foreign or Hawaiian, he'd been imagining. "Danny?"

"Yeah." Danny shifted again, pulling his hand out and putting it in his lap, but leaning back into Steve's side to ground him some more, even if that did nothing to help his sudden need to kiss Steve senseless. That sleepy voice got him every time.

"What time is it?"

Danny checked his watch. "Just after four."

Steve stretched, the rub of his body against Danny's also not helping Danny's desire to push him back on the couch. Every night the struggle was harder, but they weren't together, not really. They weren't exactly apart, either. They were trapped in some weird limbo-land of relationship world that Danny didn't know what to do with.

He'd said goodbye to Amber the day after they'd come back from Afghanistan. He hated himself a little for using her, even though he hadn't quite realized that was what he'd been doing, and he'd stopped once he'd faced up to it.

"We should probably stop falling asleep on the couch, huh?" Steve said.

Which meant what, that they should take this to a bed? Or that they should stop falling asleep together at all? Danny's Steve-to-English dictionary seemed broken since they'd returned, and he desperately wanted the update it apparently needed.

He hadn't really spent a lot of time away from Steve since Afghanistan. Every night that Grace was at Rachel's, Danny had spent with Steve. Dinner invariably turned into watching something on TV and falling asleep on the couch until Steve's nightmares woke Danny up.

The nightmares were why he stayed, he told himself, but every time he did, he wanted to smack himself in the face for lying, even in his own head. If it was just the nightmares, he could deal with that from home. He did that effectively enough on the nights he had Grace.

The first night, Steve had texted him after a nightmare. Not that he'd said as much--it was a stupid text about picking him up the next morning--like Danny was going to forget? But Danny had understood the real reason and called the idiot immediately, talking to him until Steve had started snoring into the phone.

Danny absolutely did not listen to that sound for a ridiculous amount of time before falling asleep himself.

"I suspect my lower back would probably agree with you," Danny said, but he made no move to get up.

If he was waiting on Steve to give him some kind of sign as to whether that meant Danny should take Steve to bed or just take himself home, he was an idiot. Which did not stop him from sitting there waiting for a sign.

Apparently he was an idiot.

Steve said nothing, he just picked up the remote and flipped away from the infomercial that had been playing quietly on the TV until he landed on Sportscenter.

Danny barely suppressed a growl. He had a clear image in his head for a moment of turning off the TV and dragging Steve up the stairs, ripping his clothes off along the way.

Only the fact that he didn't know if it would get him rejected stopped him.

He had yet to bring up the subject of Catherine since Steve had told them they'd said goodbye. Too many land mines there, from the chance that Steve had changed his mind and decided to wait for her, to the possibility that it would add to his nightmares. After all, some nights it was her name on Steve's lips when Danny woke.

Apparently, whatever Steve had said, he wasn't entirely sure he and Catherine were over.

It was the only explanation. And Danny got it, he really did. For all that Steve had said goodbye to her, it had been over the phone. And knowing Steve, he probably hadn't really been too clear to her about the goodbye in the first place. Maybe he was waiting until he knew that it was officially over, especially since Danny had sort of made that a condition of them becoming...them.

The guy might be a socially inept idiot at times, but he had a noble streak a million miles wide and deeper than the ocean.

So yeah, Danny wanted to drag the guy upstairs and do a lot of dirty things to his body. But he couldn't.

Steve had to make the first move.

Then again, if he couldn't drag Steve upstairs in part because of Steve's issues, why not deal with the issues?

"So what was the dream this time?" Danny asked.

"Hm?" Steve said, and hey, look at that, Danny's Steve-to-English translator wasn't entirely offline. Apparently it was only on the fritz when it came to their personal relationship. Because that was Steve's 'I totally know what you're talking about but if I pretend I don't, then maybe I can get out of talking about it' version of 'Hm?'

That might work with Catherine, but it wasn't flying here.

"The nightmare you just woke up from," Danny said, done coddling him.

He felt Steve stiffen, felt a draft between them as Steve moved away. Not a lot, just enough that Danny noticed. He was still close enough that Danny felt him shrug.

"Don't remember."

Same tone, and Danny was getting tired of all of this. "You do know this is me you're talking to, right?" Danny said. "So you want to rethink that answer and we'll pretend like you didn't just say that?"

Steve cleared his throat. "The dreams don't make a lot of sense," he said finally, his voice low, darting glances at Danny through his lashes like he might not be able to get through this if he met his eyes completely, but he couldn't stop from making sure Danny was still there. "They go from place to place, every bad situation I've ever come back from eventually shows up over the course of a few nights. But they always come back to Afghanistan. To Hassan's compound, to what was about to--"

He kept his eyes on his hands as he broke off, no more glances up.

Danny refused to let that get to him this time. He'd had long enough to repress. "About to what?"

It was like a switch flipped somewhere in Steve's head. The discomfort and haunted look disappeared, his face going blank, his body straightening, less the tension from before and more some weird version of attention while seated. "I was tied to the chair," Steve said, sounding as if he was reciting a report to one of his superiors. "Hassan's men untied me and forced me to my knees, and I saw the camera was on. I didn't catch what Hassan said--my Pashto's a little rusty--but I got the gist."

Steve's phone rang, and Danny silently cursed. Criminals had the worst timing ever, he thought, as he realized the bank robber they'd been called in to help catch was at it again.

"We have to go," Steve said, standing up and shoving his phone in his pocket.

Danny sighed as he watched Steve run up the stairs, the relief evident in his every muscle. He'd been so close to unlocking at least part of Steve's nightmare and now he's have to go back to square one next time.

If Danny had to shoot this robber, he thought, as he went out to his car to get his spare clothes, he was not even going to feel a little bit sorry.

***

"Steve, you might wanna sit down for this."

Chin's words made Steve brace as if someone was about to punch him. Like the news could get worse than Wo Fat had escaped? "Why?"

"Wo Fat only had one visitor when he was over there. Guess who it was."

Even if Chin's face hadn't been as clear as a neon sign, Steve didn't need a hint. "My mother."

He didn't need confirmation, either, but Chin nodded nonetheless. "She went to visit him twice in the last month."

Of course she did. Because she couldn't face Steve, but Wo Fat, sure. No problem. After supposedly being on the run from him for half of Steve's life, apparently he was easier to face than her own son.

"Wow," Danny said. "I'm gonna sit down, actually."

Danny's touch as he walked by to sit on the couch grounded Steve a little, letting him start thinking again. "Were the visits recorded?" he asked.

"No," Chin said. "Apparently the sit downs were sanctioned by someone in the DoD, and they were ordered non-monitored visits."

"Let me get this straight," Danny said. "In the year that your mother has disappeared, she decides to go see this nut job instead of her own son. You," he said to Steve, "actually need this couch more than me." He got up. "Why don't you sit down?"

"This is all about Wo Fat's mother's grave in Cambodia," Steve said. It was the only thing that made sense. Why else would she come out of the woodwork and visit Wo Fat? Why would the DoD let her?

Danny frowned. "Why do you say that?"

"Two visits in the last month, right on the heels of our trip to Cambodia?" Steve said. "Doris must've found out we went there and discovered the truth. I'm telling you, she must've found out that she killed his mother instead of his father."

"If that's true," Chin said, "maybe Wo Fat escaped to find him."

Kono pulled them out to show them footage of Wo Fat at a gas station in Colorado, setting a man on fire--and how fucking cold did you need to be to do that when you knew exactly how that felt--just to take his truck.

He knew that search the police in Colorado were doing would turn up nothing. Danny was right--Wo Fat was long gone from Colorado by now. The only question was who he was going after--Steve, or his mother.

***

It wasn't that Danny didn't admire Steve's ability to compartmentalize. It was truly impressive. But it was eating him up from the inside, and Danny couldn't find a way to crack it.

He'd thought he had that morning, thought maybe he was finally going to get through to the worst of Steve's nightmares. Steve had been open about a lot of his past traumas over the last few years, but most of what he'd endured with the Navy had been 'classified'--as if Danny didn't know that was an excuse to keep shoving it down like it wouldn't ever get to him.

But this morning he'd been just about to find out exactly what had really happened in Afghanistan, and then the call had come in. And since then, Wo Fat's escape, news that Doris had been to visit him when she couldn't even manage a phone call to Steve....

If the guy didn't talk soon he was going to break, and Danny wasn't sure the islands would recover from the fallout.

The only way to get Steve where he needed to be was to push until he was past the point of holding it in. And it had to be relentless, he couldn't just pick a moment.

Steve hung up the phone, looking less than pleased. "What's up?" Danny asked.

"Wo Fat is still in the wind."

"Why don't you call your mom?" Danny said, going for the jugular. "Ask her where he is?

Steve looked at him like he really couldn't believe Danny had just said that. "You realize that hurts me when you say that?"

"Okay. I didn't mean to hurt you, I'm sorry." Well, he did, but not really. It was complicated. "I was literally just trying to be helpful." Which was true. In the long run. "I mean, I know you can't even get in touch with her anyway, she avoids you like crazy."

"Stop being helpful, okay?"

He was getting somewhere. "Okay," Danny said. "Sorry."

"Thank you."

Time to go for another hot spot. "Well, uh, speaking of missing persons, you talk to Catherine at all?"

Steve stared at him for a few seconds. "You being genuine?"

"Yes," Danny said, and he was. For more reasons than just his campaign to break Steve into talking.

"Okay. Yes, I have, actually. We texted last night."

That was news to Danny. It must have been when Danny was showering off the dirt from the dead end leads they'd followed up on their robber. That was the only time Steve had been out of his sight long enough.

No wonder Steve hadn't complained about Danny breaking the sacred three minute shower rule.

"She has a solid lead on Najib's whereabouts," Steve continued, "and she's headed to the Hindu Kush."

"Doesn't sound like she's coming back anytime soon," Danny said, but if the two of them were texting, then it was clear Steve had hope she'd be back.

Steve's expression made it clear he was blaming himself for the fact she wasn't coming back soon, though. Like it was his fault Catherine went all Don Quixote on them. "Probably not until she finds that boy."

"I'm genuinely sorry," Danny said, and he was. Also for a number of reasons. "I know that is tough."

"Thanks, man." Steve's thanks was genuine, as if he had an idea of all the reasons Danny was sorry, and was feeling a little guilty for some of that, too. Which suited Danny's needs.

"Yeah, it's tough," Steve continued. "But I get it. Catherine's been in the military half her life. She's doing what she was trained to do. She's not coming home until the job's done."

Just like my mother. Steve didn't say it out loud, but he might as well have. The tone was unmistakable, even if Danny hadn't been able to read him.

Danny didn't want to push too far just yet, so he let it go. Instead he considered the news that Steve had, in fact, been talking to Catherine since their supposed goodbye. So apparently it hadn't been quite as much of a goodbye as Steve had thought that first night.

That might explain the lack of action on Steve's part. And it only served as a reminder to Danny as to why he had to wait for Steve to make the first move.

He couldn't do anything about that until Catherine was back, he realized. But in the meantime, he could make Steve deal with his demons.

Whether Steve liked it or not.

***

That niggling feeling Steve had had all day about Grover had been right.

Funny how being right didn't give him the satisfaction it usually did when Grover was taking his weapon away even as he apologized. He could've kept his gun, could've stopped Grover, but he knew this wasn't Lou. If he was doing this, and taking orders from the asshole Steve really wanted to shoot, then there could only be limited number of reasons.

And all of them were related to Grover.

Steve knew a little bit about criminals using the people you loved against you.

"Where is it?" Asshole said.

Where was what? "What are you talking about?"

Asshole grabbed Steve and dragged him over to the van at gunpoint. Steve fought back the immediate flashes his brain supplied of Afghanistan and Hassan's camp, so real for a second that his left eye blurred and blinked out as if it was swollen.

"Where's the money?"

He jerked himself back to reality in time to see the van was empty. "I don't know," he said honestly. Not that honesty was going to do him any good with Asshole. It might be true, but that only meant two things: They'd been sent out as decoys, and Grover's family was in serious danger.

"That money didn't just disappear!" Asshole said, stepping back out of reach, holding his gun firmly on Steve. "Now where is it?"

"You keep asking me the same question, it's the same answer. I don't know." Logic probably wasn't going to work with this guy, but Steve had nothing else to use to bide his time until someone could get the upper hand. "The last time we saw it, it was in this truck. Now that's the truth."

"Hey, listen," Danny said, doing his best to pull Asshole's focus as he bought time, Steve knew, "we were briefing SWAT when that money was getting loaded into that van. Novak had plenty of time to do something shady and we wouldn't know about it, all right?"

"You're lying," Asshole said before Danny was even finished, his eyes and his gun still on Steve. Steve didn't like the look in those eyes one bit. "And I'm done asking."

He surged forward and grabbed Steve, his gun pressing into the underside of Steve's jaw. Steve could feel himself slipping a little, everything that happened at Hassan's coming back in a rush, and he fought to ground himself. He couldn't lose it now. Especially not when he'd still not found a chance to tell Danny how he felt.

He looked over and saw Danny watching, waiting for his opportunity to swoop in and save Steve at the last second, death literally at his neck.

"One. Two."

A fight broke, and Steve turned to see Grover taking out the guy who'd had him covered. Steve heard a shot, and Asshole fell into him like a sack of heavy flour. Steve wrestled Asshole's gun away, taking out the guy by Kono and the one fighting Danny. He watched for any other targets as Grover took down one more, but that turned out to be it.

"Man, I'm sorry," Grover said. "They got my daughter."

Which Steve had figured was probably the likely scenario, but he'd been hoping Fate might've spared Grover that. He'd also been hoping it would spare Danny the reminder of Grace, but apparently Fate was a fickle bitch.

What a surprise.

"Who has your daughter?" Kono asked.

"Ian Wright."

"What?" Steve said. He'd been expecting Wright to come after him, not Grover, and certainly not in such a hands-on way.

"You sure it's him?" Steve asked.

Grover showed them a picture Ian had sent from Samantha's phone, his smug little face pissing Steve off. "That money," Grover said, "is the only thing keeping my daughter alive!"

Steve glanced at Danny, but he seemed focused, if a little rough around the edges. The phone rang, and Steve stared at it for a second, then looked at Grover, who was looking like he wanted nothing to do with the phone.

"That's him," Grover said.

Steve held it out. "Answer it."

Grover shook his head. "I can't."

"Lou," Danny said, calm, as if this situation wasn't his worst nightmare, "answer the call. Buy yourself some time, okay? Please?"

Grover took a deep breath and the phone and answered, playing it off like everything was fine. Which didn't work when they discovered far too quickly that Wright was close enough that he could see them.

Steve watched until Grover was getting too panicked. Steve took the phone out of his hand and put it to his own ear.

"Ian."

"Commander McGarrett. So nice to hear your voice again."

The kid sounded...weird. Excited. Like he was getting two for one with dragging Steve into this mess, maybe. "Ian, let Samantha go. You want a hostage? Come take me."

The kid had the nerve to laugh, and Steve wanted to strangle the laughter right out of his throat. "That is so gallant of you, but no, thanks, I think I'll stick to my original plan." Because that was going so well. "Besides, she's a lot cuter than you."

"Ian, listen to me," Steve said, not that he had any hope of getting through to the kid, but he had to try. "The money's gone. It's all over."

"It's over when I have my money," Ian said, the laughter gone now, impatience seeping in. "So I suggest you find it."

He hung up, and Steve lowered the phone.

"I called Novak three times, he's not picking up," Chin said.

"We find Novak," Steve said, "we find that money."

Grover didn't look particularly comforted by the idea, but he didn't look like he was about to freak out, so Steve counted it as a win.

***

Danny stared at the empty van, Novak long gone and the money with him. He watched as Grover reacted, knew only too well the pain that he was feeling. He'd done his job, and now his daughter was paying the price and it felt like there wasn't a fucking thing he could do about it.

Danny had been there, done that, got the fucking t-shirt.

He followed slowly, watching as Grover slumped down against the Camaro, crying the way Danny had been on the inside when it had been Grace in Rick's clutches. Danny sat down slowly beside him and told him about Rick.

"I remember back then thinking I got two choices now," Danny said. "I can shut down, start mourning my daughter, or I can do anything and everything it took to run over whatever stood in my way to get my daughter back."

"I can't stop thinking about it," Grover said after a moment. "I can't stop thinking about what she must be going through."

Danny got that. He'd been in this situation with Grace, sure, and then far too many times with his team. With Steve. And with his overactive imagination frequently stuck on the horror channel, he imagined a lot. None of it pretty. "Right now you need to put that on hold," Danny said. "If you wanna see Samantha, you stay focused on ending the son of a bitch."

Grover started nodding, but he needed to be more sure. "You understand?" Danny said.

"Yeah."

Better. "Let's go get this guy. Come on."

"Yeah," Grover said, stronger now. "Let's go get him."

The team joined them at the cars and they decided to regroup at HQ. Danny took a moment to focus, trying to drive the conversation with Grover, the fact that Steve had nearly had his head shot off right in front of him, and every other distraction out of his mind. A little girl's life was at stake. He could have his post-case freak out later.

"You okay?" Steve asked.

Danny opened his eyes. "I'm fine."

Steve's eyebrow shot up. "Yeah, you look fine."

"What, you're the only one who can just turn off your emotions?" Danny snapped at him.

"I was trained to--"

"So was I, all right? But that doesn't stop them." Danny fixed Steve with a look. "You shut them off when you need to, and then when it's over, you deal with them, or...well, you know what the or is, you've been not sleeping through it for a while now."

He stalked around to the passenger side of his car and got in, slamming the door for good measure.

***

Steve watched Danny silently half the way back to HQ. He wasn't sure whether he should ask what was wrong or apologize for almost getting shot. He'd just about decided to say nothing when Danny finally barked, "What?"

"I...." He didn't know what to say. He thought of Danny and Grover sitting by the car, Grover's emotions on his sleeve, Danny talking about what happened with Grace just to help him out. To let him know he understood. "It's so easy for everyone else," Steve said finally, working through it out loud. "You just...talk." He glanced at Danny then put his eyes back on the road. "I don't know how to do that. It's not what I was trained to do."

He can feel a little of Danny's anger fading, even without touching him. "Don't they have shrinks in the Navy?"

"Yeah, but it's not...it's not like you see on TV. It's 'Here's how to cope. Now go be a good soldier.'"

"How do they tell you to cope?"

Steve shrugged. "By telling yourself 'It was duty. You were doing your job. You had no choice.'"

"That's not coping, Steve. That's suppressing. That never works long term."

Yeah, Steve was figuring that out on his own, thanks. He just didn't know how to fix it. "How do you let the pressure out of the Hoover Dam without breaking it?" he asked, sparing Danny another glance.

Danny was looking at him speculatively. "One sentence at a time."

Easier said than done. He didn't even know where to start. With Afghanistan? North Korea? A bunch of other missions that left him screaming silently in his head in his bunk for weeks after?

Or with how he wanted Danny? With all the things he'd thought when he was sure he was going to die in Afghanistan, and all the things he should've said over the past few months, and how he never wants Danny to leave not just because he chases away the nightmares, but also because he's Danny. And Steve wants him at his side, wants his smell and his warmth, the way the air just feels different around him, like he had so much pent up energy inside him that the molecules surrounding him pick it up.

Danny's phone rang before Steve could even sort out his thoughts on where to start. It was Grace, Steve could tell by the smile that lit Danny's face as he raised the phone to his ear.

Steve listened to Danny chatting with Grace and let the sound soothe his nerves. He could worry about where to start his confessions later.

***

"How's your half-ganger going?" Danny asked.

After correcting him that it was a half-gainer, Grace launched into a detailed description he'd heard at least four times. But after the day he'd had, he didn't care that this was his third call with Grace or his second time through the explanation of a half-gainer. He just let her words wash over him.

When she was done, Danny reluctantly got off the call, still smiling at Grace's ear-ringing 'Love you, Danno!' goodbye. The ache he'd had deep in the middle of his chest all day had eased over the course of their call. Rachel had let her talk a lot longer than usual, but then Danny suspected she'd seen the news.

For all that he accused her otherwise, she did, in fact, actually have a heart.

Danny put his phone on the table, frowning as he saw the TV. ESPN announcers were filling the long stretches of time between actual news on the NFL Draft with the same recycled commentary they'd been saying for months, but Steve was watching as if national security depended on their every word.

They hadn't talked about Wo Fat's message. Or about Doris. Or about Steve's nightmares or what he'd been about to say that morning. Shit, was it really just that morning? It felt like a million years ago.

Danny tried to suppress a yawn, but it came through anyway. He needed to make Steve talk before the next crisis interrupted them. But Steve's issues could be extremely exhausting, and Danny wasn't sure which one to start with.

He'd just close his eyes and think about it for a minute.

***

He had to find Grace. Fucking Rick and his fucking insanity, thinking that Danny was somehow to blame for the fact that Rick had been dirty. Daring to punish Danny's little girl for Rick's sins. He wanted to shoot Rick right in the face until his gun was empty.

But he couldn't. Because he'd never find Grace unless Rick told him where she was. And the bastard knew it, too. He could see it on Rick's face the moment before he pushed against Danny, jamming Danny's gun into his chest, and pulling the trigger.

As Rick fell to the ground, the last signs of life already fading from his eyes, Danny dropped to his knees beside him screaming, "Tell me where my daughter is you fucker!"

"Danny."

Danny's eyes shot open, and he sat up, looking around. Instead of the bright beach and a dead body in his hands, he was in the dark living room at Steve's, only the TV and one low lamp providing any light. And Steve was beside him, frowning at him in concern.

"You okay?" Steve asked.

Danny shuddered. "I'm all right," he said. "Just give me a minute."

"You wanna talk about it?"

Right. Because Steve was so forthcoming about his own nightmares. But then...maybe Steve needed an example. He'd said he didn't know how to talk about it. Maybe he could only learn by seeing it in action. "It's Grover's daughter," Danny said, sagging back into the couch, and leaning into Steve's warmth. "A case like that always brings up what happened with Grace, you know?"

Steve shifted, pressing closer into Danny, his hand landing on Danny's thigh. "Yeah, you always seem more...on edge. Understandably."

"It's just...every time I feel that same terror I had when we were opening that storage locker. Not knowing if she was alive or dead, I was almost too terrified to go in there, except I had to get to her."

Steve's hand slid into Danny's, fingertips grazing his palm before their fingers laced together. "We found her, though."

"Yeah. We did." Danny could still remember her shaking in his arms. "I wouldn't leave her bed that first night, did I tell you?" He glanced at Steve, who shook his head. "I sat there all night long, nodding off only to jerk back awake to make sure she was still there."

"And she was. Still is."

"For months," Danny continued, "I felt sick with panic every morning until she called I and I knew she was okay. That nothing had happened to her, that my job hadn't come back to try to get her again." He looked at Steve again. "Still happens some mornings. It's rare now, but after days like today...."

"How do you deal with that so well?" Steve said, sounding both confused and a little in awe.

"Because I deal with it," Danny replied, even though he'd gone through this before. Repetition was the only thing that would penetrate that iron-clad skull in Steve's head. "I don't shove it aside. I let the panic have free rein for a minute. Sometimes more. I wallow. I talk about it." He took a deep breath. "And then I remind myself that she's fine. Better than she probably should be."

Danny knew that look on Steve's face--on his better days Danny called it his robot processor light. He could name every emotion that crossed his face after, too, until resolve finally settled in. "Hassan..." Steve said slowly, like taking his first tentative steps through a mine field. "When the team showed up, he...Hassan was recording." Steve swallowed hard. "It was my execution. I tried to escape," he said, "but I couldn't. And if the team had been just a few seconds later...." His hand had a death grip on Danny's. "It was that close, Danny."

Danny wouldn't cry. He wanted to, but he wouldn't. Couldn't. It wouldn't help. So he blinked back the wetness in his eyes. "But you made it."

"Because of you."

"Catherine's the one who called me, she--"

"No. Not just because you brought in the cavalry, but you. You were what kept me going. I...there were things I wanted to tell you," Steve said, turning more of his body to face Danny, "and I fought back to try to get back here to tell you, and if I hadn't, if I'd just sat there like a good soldier and accepted my fate, it would've been over before the team got there."

Danny shrugged, trying to adopt a nonchalance he didn't really feel about that revelation. "You would've found something else to fight for if it hadn't been me, Steve. It's who you are. You don't have an ounce of quit in your DNA."

"I do," Steve said quietly. "I quit on you because I was too afraid. I couldn't risk it."

Danny didn't know how to argue with the truth. "To be fair, your life wasn't in danger."

"No, it was something a little more important than that." Steve had that resolved look Danny knew all too well, and Danny was suddenly very interested to know what the next words were going to be out of his mouth.

As if on cue, Steve's phone rang. He pulled it out and glanced at the screen. "It's Catherine," he said apologetically.

"Go," Danny said, dislodging his hand and waving Steve out of the room.

"I'm sorry, I just need to make sure she's okay."

"I know."

He waited until Steve was out of the room before he laid back on the couch and tried to smother himself with a throw pillow.

***

"Did you find him?" Steve asked as he stepped out onto the lanai.

There was a long pause. "No," Catherine said, finally. "He was gone again, but I got a new lead."

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah, me, too. Every minute I don't find him, there's a chance it won't matter by the time I do."

He knew she was right, so he didn't try to argue. "I'm sorry," he said again.

"So what's going on there?"

"Nothing."

"Good. I'm glad it's quiet."

She never pushed. Danny would've been able to tell from his tone that he was lying, but Catherine never pushed. "It's not," he said suddenly, the words tumbling out fast and low. "I lied. Wo Fat broke out of prison after my mother visited him. Ian Wright kidnapped Grover's daughter and Wo Fat killed Wright and wants to talk to me, and I don't know why. And Danny's downstairs waiting for me to tell him something I've needed to tell him for ages, and I don't even know how to start."

He sucked in a breath, already hating himself a little for dumping on her when she had enough problems. "Cath, I--"

"You might want to start with, 'Danny, I'm madly in love with you.'"

"Catherine."

"I'm not stupid, Steve." She didn't sound angry. Or even hurt. "I've known you long enough that I know your tone when you said 'I love you' to me, and I know how you look at him. I also know you're noble--and stupid--enough to wait until I get back to do it right. And I'm telling you now not to."

"Cath--"

"Steve. The fact that you made it back from here was a miracle, one perpetrated mostly by Danny. Don't waste it."

He closed his eyes, gripping the phone for a long moment before he looked out at the ocean. "I'm sorry."

"So am I. That I didn't kick your ass about this a while ago." Her tone was rueful. "I just didn't think you wanted to be in love with him."

"I didn't."

"But you are."

There was no point in denying it now. "Yeah."

"Then go tell him, idiot."

Right. If it was that easy, he'd have done it already. "You'll still check in with me?"

"Of course. I still love you."

He recognized the tone now, so much like his own when he'd talked to her that first night he'd been back. "Be careful."

"Always." He heard voices in the background. "Hey, I have to go. But I'll check in in a couple of days. Bye."

She was gone before he could return the goodbye.

***

Danny heard the door, saw Steve walk back into the room, but he stared intently at the TV as if he'd be quizzed on the exact draft order they were recapping. He didn't glance at Steve as he sat back down on the couch, tantalizingly close.

He wondered how many steps back they'd taken in the time Steve had been on the phone.

"How's Catherine?"

"Okay. The lead didn't pan out, but she has another one."

Of course. Off on her noble quest. Danny couldn't compete with that. Before he could find a comment, though, Steve turned off the TV. "Danny."

Danny turned his head to see Steve looking at him carefully. The lamp gave off just enough light that Danny could see Steve's eyes. He recognized that look. That was the look he got when he was determined. More than determined. Crazy SEAL determined.

"Something wrong?"

"When Hassan had me on my knees, the camera rolling," Steve said, his voice stronger than it had been before he'd gone to answer the phone, "there were things I was afraid I wasn't going to get to tell you."

"You said that already," Danny said. "But you've been back for weeks."

Steve took a deep breath. "I know, and I'm sorry. I wasn't sure what was going on with you and Amber, and I didn't want to disrupt your happiness."

"There is no me and Amber anymore. I told you that three days ago."

"I know. I'm sorry. I just...I was afraid."

"Am I that scary?"

Steve's laugh was harsh. "You're the scariest thing I've ever seen," he said. "And the best."

His Steve-to-English dictionary was coming back online, but Danny needed to be sure what he was hearing. "What does that mean?"

"I thought it was just Catherine," Steve said. "Before, when we...stopped. I thought it was because I couldn't hurt her. But I realized it was...something else. I had a machete to my throat, Danny, and the only thing I could think, the thing that was stronger than death itself, that hurt more than knowing I was going to die, was that I hadn't tried. I hadn't told you."

Steve's hand landed on Danny's thigh, thumb moving across it absently. Danny didn't even think he knew he was doing it. "That was weeks ago," he reminded Steve again.

"I know. And today, that gun was at my neck, and all I could think was that I'd fucked up again and I still hadn't told you. I'm sorry, Danny. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, and I hope it's not too late."

He looked at Danny expectantly, and Danny stared at him for a moment before saying, as gently as he could when he wanted to call him a giant goof, "Steven...you still haven't told me what you haven't told me yet."

Steve blinked. "Oh! I, uh..." He swallowed hard, and Danny was wondering if he was going to have to say it for him. "I love you," he said.

Which...the tone was there, but Danny still needed to be sure. "So you've said a few dozen times lately."

"No. Not like this." Steve wet his lips and took a deep breath. "I'm in love with you."

And there it was. "Oh."

He felt Steve's grip tighten on his thigh. "Oh?" he said after a moment.

Danny rolled his eyes. "Seriously? I was the one who told you I couldn't share. What, exactly, did you think that meant, Steven?"

"That you're possessive?"

"Yeah, well, that, too, but only with things that I really care about. And only," Danny said, raising his hand to Steve's cheek, "with people I'm in love with."

Steve smiled as he leaned in, but he stopped short. "People?" he said, a small frown marring his forehead.

"The person," Danny clarified. "You."

"Oh."

Steve's smile was brilliant for about half a second before he captured Danny's lips. "Upstairs," Steve said against Danny's mouth. "God, Danny, upstairs now or--"

"Stop talking," Danny said, pushing Steve away and to his feet, "and move." He jumped up, shoving Steve towards the stairs, following, unable to resist grabbing Steve's ass when they got to the landing at the top of the stairs.

Steve stopped so fast he almost knocked Danny back down the stairs. Danny had to grip Steve's hips to keep from falling, the grip sending a shudder through Steve's body. Steve turned, capturing Danny's lips again as he walked backwards, dragging Danny down to the bedroom.

It wasn't until Steve fell onto the bed, as Danny stood over him, that he realized they'd never had sex in here. Only at Danny's house. Having sex here somehow made it seem real.

Steve's eyes narrowed. "What's that smile for?"

"What? I can't be happy?"

"Well, it's not really in your nature..."

"Shut up."

"I'm just saying, Danny, I mean--"

Steve stopped abruptly as Danny pulled his shirt over his head and threw it on the ground. "You were saying?"

Steve didn't finish his sentence, he just sat up and grabbed Danny's arm, yanking him down on the bed beside him. Steve threw a leg over both Danny's as he propped himself up on his elbow, looking down at Danny like everything Steve had ever missed out on in life was wrapped up in Danny's body.

"You're amazing," Steve said quietly, reverently. One hand trailed down Danny's chest, Steve's lips following suit, until he reached the scar on Danny's lower right side where the rebar had been lodged. Steve looked up the length of Danny's torso. "You have no idea how much I wanted to follow you home, make sure you were okay, never let you out of my sight that night."

"Yeah, I kinda do," Danny said. "I felt the same way after North Korea. And after Afghanistan." And a bunch of other times when Steve had been beaten and bruised--mentally as well as physically.

"There's a simple solution for that," Steve said. "Don't leave. Stay."

Danny's heart flipped a little at the request, but he kept his tone light. "It's going to be kind of hard to do my job without leaving your house."

Steve rolled his eyes. "How about stay the weekend, then?"

"That I could probably do." Steve's smile made Danny's heart flip again, so open and happy that Danny needed to kiss it right now, to feel that happiness radiate through his own body. He pulled Steve up until their lips met again.

By the time they were done kissing, Steve's shirt was gone, and Danny's pants were as far down as Steve could get them without getting off Danny's body. "Up," Danny muttered, pushing at Steve even as he refused to entirely let his mouth go.

Steve was nothing if not resourceful, though. He somehow managed to get Danny's pants and underpants off without entirely stopping the kissing. Danny was as grateful for that as he was confused as to when and where he'd lost his shoes and socks. But since it meant he was now completely naked against Steve, who'd also managed to lose the rest of his clothes, he decided not to complain.

In fact, he might never complain about Steve's Ninja skills ever again after this.

Danny had a few Ninja skills of his own, and he used them to get Steve onto his back so he could taste his way down Steve's body. He'd missed this, the way Steve tasted, his smell, those sounds he made when Danny nipped at his skin, the way Steve's grip on Danny's hair tightened almost to an uncomfortable level as Danny finally found his target and licked his way up the side of Steve's dick.

"Fuck!" Steve pushed up into Danny's mouth as soon as Danny's lips lowered around the head. "Fuck, Danny...just...wait."

Steve pushed at Danny's shoulders, and Danny frowned down at him. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, it's perfect I just...can I...I need to be inside you. Can I...please?"

Like he had to ask. "Anytime," Danny said, a little scared to realize he meant it. For all that he knew he was in love with the guy, he was still getting used to the fact that he would do just about anything Steve asked. Ever.

He rolled onto his back and watched the stretch of Steve's muscles across his back as Steve leaned over to reach into the nightstand. He came back with lube and, thankfully, no condom. Once was enough for that conversation, and Danny still remembered what it was like having Steve inside him without it.

He shivered in memory, then shivered again when Steve's hand slid down Danny's abdomen to reach for his dick, sliding across the length of it before going lower still until his fingers found Danny's hole.

The intense concentration on Steve's face as he opened Danny up was far hotter than it had any right to be. Almost as hot as the way Steve's face changed as his dick slid into Danny's body, concentration giving way to sheer bliss.

Danny understood that face. It echoed everything in his body as Steve started thrusting, his hands gripping Danny's thighs where they rested on Steve's chest. Danny was sure nothing could ever be this good, that slide of skin against skin, inside and out, but then Steve let go of one of Danny's thighs to wrap that huge, strong hand around Danny's dick, and hey, look at that, he'd been wrong. This was even better.

So much better that he lost coherent thought, drifting in a haze of pleasure. He knew there were words coming out of his mouth, but he had no idea what they were, only that Steve apparently translated them into what Danny needed--more, harder, right fucking now.

He felt Steve's rhythm change, felt Steve jerk his hips in hard one last time and heard a cry a second before Steve's grip tightened just right on Danny's dick and he fell over the edge.

When he came to, he was covered in a hot, sweaty Steve blanket, one that he wanted to wrap himself in for the rest of the night.

Except that might get a little gross by morning.

"Ungh," Danny said, though he'd been trying for 'up.' He pushed halfheartedly at Steve, who just shifted one leg and buried his face even harder against Danny's neck.

Screw it. They could shower in the morning.

***

Steve drifted slowly out of darkness into consciousness, resenting the intrusion of reality on his nice little dream. He'd been dreaming that he and Danny were together, and they'd had amazing sex and...

He sniffed. Danny. Definitely Danny. Steve stretched, feeling Danny's skin against his own. He opened his eyes to confirm, and yeah, hey, that was Danny, sleeping comfortably next to him, his face gorgeous in the bright sunlight.

Wait...bright sunlight?

Steve raised his head just enough to see the clock. It was almost eight. They'd slept for nine hours. He hadn't slept that long in a stretch without at least a nightmare since...well, he wasn't actually sure when. Even in the hospital they'd had to give him drugs every 4-5 hours to knock him out after the nightmares woke him. Not that he'd told them why he woke, but still.

He wasn't stupid. He knew one night of sex with Danny didn't magically scare away the nightmares. But the fact that he'd had one night without the nightmares gave him hope.

The fact that Danny was still there in his bed gave him even more.

The way Danny's face wrinkled up as he started to wake had always been adorable. Steve couldn't resist smiling at it as Danny's eyes blinked open.

"Time izit?" Danny asked, stretching.

"About eight," Steve said quietly.

"Too early on a Saturday," Danny said, snuggling back into Steve's side. When Steve didn't immediately relax, Danny leaned back enough to open one eye and look at him. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Steve said, shaking his head. For the first time in a while, everything's right."

Danny's other eye opened. "Everything?"

"Well, okay," Steve amended, "Wo Fat's still out there and my mother is visiting him and ducking my calls, sure...you know what I mean."

"Yeah." Danny smiled. "Yeah I do." He leaned up for a kiss. "Tell me about your mom," he said softly. "I mean when you were a kid."

Steve winced. He'd just had a night without nightmares and Danny wanted him to talk about his mom. "Really?"

"That's how you get through this, babe. You talk to someone you trust, someone who cares enough to listen, and you remember the good and the bad." Danny put his hand against Steve's cheek. "The more you talk, the more you can deal with it. Trust me."

The one thing never in doubt was Steve's absolute trust in Danny. He gave Danny a smile and a kiss before putting his head back on the pillow beside him, pulling Danny close.

"When I was seven," Steve said slowly, "Mom used to make these muffins every Sunday morning...."

---
END

vid: Human

stellarmeadow — Thu, 08 May 2014 00:53:35 GMT