Steering through life~

Hypocrisy

steer2justice — Sat, 28 Dec 2013 18:34:30 GMT

*I copy-pasted from another blog I had and I apologize if you're unfamiliar with the names mentioned here. Just know that they're friends and people I know in real life.

I feel like a complete hypocrite.

It seems as though all I’m doing is telling people what they want to hear. Well, to some extent, I guess that is true. I acknowledge that I have this habit of molding myself to fit the other person. Yet I am still fundamentally the same.

Take today, for example.

I partook in three different social events today. I went out with Zhipeng in the afternoon, before heading to my grandma’s place to celebrate my sister’s birthday and I went out with my closest childhood friend in the evening til midnight. And at the same time I was talking to several other individuals through text messages. I did my fair share of encouragement and listening and offering my (uneducated) opinion – as usual. Yet the “me” that talks to Zhipeng and the “me” that talks to my childhood friend is different. I sat outside the shopping mall around eleven pm drinking a “breezer” with my childhood friend (an alcoholic drink btw) and talking about his relationship problems while being all formal and posh eating at a high class restaurant with Zhipeng and, well, talking about his relationship problems.

I wonder why people turn to me for answers and advice. I mean, it’s not as though I even know much to begin with. And listening to my childhood friend’s problems (women are throwing themselves at him like flies and he is currently in the unfortunate predicament of having a girlfriend and two other super close girls who have expressed interest in him and he actually reciprocated ah), I really feel as though I have no business here. Zhipeng, too. I wonder if I’m giving him the wrong advice. I mean, he thinks I made sense but then again.

Talking with Juni through text just made me extremely conscious and aware of how different we really are. I admire her faith and trust in God, certainly, but it feels rather uncomfortable to listen to her complete devotion at the same time. I find myself agreeing with her and telling her that she’s really a good Christian (I really think she is, honestly) but my words seem hollow almost seeing that I don’t even think being a good Christian is as important as being a good person.

Am I even a good person anyway?

I told Zhipeng today that I am the sort of individual who will only look out, first and foremost, for the people who care about me. It’s too tiring playing the hero and saving everyone and it’s impossible to do so anyway (though I always find myself trying unconsciously nonetheless). I profess to be completely ruthless and unforgiving against those who have wronged me in one way or another and he didn’t say much. Or at least I didn’t remember his answer.

And then I saw this little girl losing her grip on her balloon and chasing it frantically, running away from her parents to retrieve her precious possession. There was this black individual (though it happened so quickly that I didn’t know whether he was Indian or African-American tho it probably doesn’t matter anyway) who caught the balloon and passed it to me to pass it to the little girl and she smiled at me so radiantly. And then I think back to my earlier philosophy and I don’t think I’m acting like that. Zhipeng seemed impressed too and it seemed nice. And of course, feeling self-conscious, I tried to say that it was no big deal and that it was only because she was a little girl. That I couldn’t be bothered if it was some other person. I don’t know how true that statement was.

Granted it probably wasn’t a big deal. I mean, people live lives like that all the time. That little girl probably won’t remember this moment as vividly as I did. I don’t remember details all that often and well but it is moments like these that somehow come to mind.

And my aunt calls me misanthropic.

I don’t like society. I don’t like the institutions. I don’t like all the niceties and the stifling crap that people have to do all the time in order to be appropriate. What hogwash.

And yet I like people.

I told my childhood friend that he probably shouldn’t feel too bad about breaking the heart of one of those unfortunate women – I mean, they’ve only known each other for a day and it’s not like true love or anything. And granted, a deeper, darker part of myself seems to think that any girl that falls for a guy – no matter how handsome he happens to be – in a day is one stupid woman. I’m not being misogynistic here. This law applies for guys as well. I don’t believe in love at first sight.

Zhipeng and I were talking about people in general and we divided the world into three categories.

Women:

Category One: Nice people AKA sheep. I’m pleased to admit that most females I know tend to fall into this category.

Category Two: Unapologetically bitchy people AKA the wolves. HAHAHA, I think someone like Jessica might actually take this to be a compliment. It’s not actually a bad thing.

Category Three: Bitchy people that behave like nice people. Zhipeng seems to think that this category of human beings are those that are most dangerous since you can hardly know what they’re truly thinking of.

Men:

Category One: Douchebags AKA yours truly.

Category Two: Douchebags that pretend to be nice guys.

I’m sure I’ll appease the feminists by providing women with one additional category. Yay.

Very simplistic, definitely, but I think there might actually be some truth in this categorization.

Hum. Whatever. I think it’s the alcohol getting to me (tho it’s only what 5%?) and it’s making me mellow. Or maybe I’m trying to find excuses to hide my sappiness like what Chloe thinks.

Self-consciousness

steer2justice — Wed, 25 Dec 2013 10:44:02 GMT

After waking from a serene and peaceful afternoon nap (the best I’ve had in ages), I am gripped by an immense and sudden sense of self-consciousness.

I am glad that only a few people I know are reading my musings. I would not be able to bear it otherwise.

I feel as though I am betraying my self, cheapening my identity by allowing people to see me so wholly. Writing my thoughts down, while cathartic at the moment, fuels nothing but my own egotism and narcissism. It increases my self-satisfaction and is close to nothing but exhibitionism.

And yet I was pleased and curious and wanted Chloe to read it. I wanted others to read my soul and my self and expose myself to their judgement, their criticism and their praise. I wanted to sell myself out and make myself a commodity of the masses.

It could be the Moonlight Sonata that I’m playing on Youtube right now. Classical music, while admittedly not a world that I am very familiar with, manages to squeeze out strange feelings from me. I feel my fingers moving, speaking with an uneasy eloquence gripped by a strong sense of self-consciousness. I want to be seen and fear the attention at the same time. Which is why I wrote meaningless and inane posts in the last blog and convinced myself that I would almost never do it again. I don’t want people to see me.

No, wait.

I don’t want people I don’t know or care about to see me.

I would rather they focus on the smile I extend outwards. I would rather they focus on the cheery, affable persona that I bring across to other people. Calling it a persona may be mistaken, however. I’m pretty sure that’s “me” as well.

Fur Elise is playing.

I haven’t been playing G Senjou No Maou lately due to Christmas-y activity – speaking with old friends and family through the phone or through text – but it has brought forth a whole new world and reignited my interest in classical music. A pity that I would never be able to play anything close though.

Maybe I should ask Jakin to play a piece for me. Or Zhipeng. They’re musically inclined.

I see things in the music. Bach’s Air in the G String seems a fitting piece for a place like the Versailles Palace in France, where the crescent moon hangs in the background. Moonlight Sonata gives me the image of a quiet and secluded street in a European city and Fur Elise – it allows me to envision a man in church. No, a cathedral the size of Notre Dame.

Of course this is coming from an unpolished and ignorant individual so.

Stream of consciousness writing is really fun, hm. I am gripped with a sudden, intense desire to go to the airport. I guess I shall. Adios.

EDIT: Oh I was supposed to be going, was I not?

I felt inclined to say that I am a man gripped by an everlasting search for emotional intensity. Almost any experience is measured against that benchmark - I want to shake the world, to move things, to create, to destroy, to build and to tear down.

Ahem.

This seemed important. Important enough to write, in any case.

Goodbye.

Ramblings again. Seriously I ramble far too much.

steer2justice — Mon, 16 Dec 2013 16:24:36 GMT

Not that I am, really. Life’s been kinda bleh — and I like it this way.

It’s quite quiet. It’s reality. It’s normal life.

I’ve been walking around and wandering Singapore alone (mostly). I guess you could say that this is a form of therapy for myself. I realize I tend to gravitate towards quiet, secluded places without crowds. And I love to play melancholy music in these areas and place myself (voluntarily) in a wistful, longing mood.

I listened to Mirai Nikki’s ‘Another World (piano)’ just now and I’m listening to an orchestral rendition of Tifa’s theme now. It’s brilliant — that sweet aching pain in your heart.

You know this is reality. You know that heroes aren’t real. Yet you find yourself longing for someone — for something out of the ordinary to happen.

(Never you mind that the previous time something strange occurred it was a murder.)

And yet you find yourself having a quiet respect for this tranquility. You enjoy it — even. You happen to be the very strange sort of extrovert that seeks out alone company.

You realize, of course, that the romanticism of the moment is only in your head. It is all in your head. Your (figurative) knights in shining armor. Your end of the world plots and doomsday cults.

That’s life, I suppose.

It’s mundane. It’s forgettable. It’s boring. And yet it’s these quiet moments of tranquility that you remember most. That you seek out during exams, during school days, during your trials and tribulations.

It would be wonderful to meet the love of your life here, of course. She would be sitting there — hauntingly beautiful and aloof, with a book in hand. She would look strangely familiar and yet otherworldly at the same time. She would have long, luscious hair and a pair of black sunglasses so dark you could see the reflection of the night sky and the countless stars.

Ideally, you would feel the mechanical wind of the air con blowing past you, lending a cool atmosphere to the entire situation. You would look at her and be consumed by an urgent longing — a familiarity that seems to elude you.

Of course it’s only a dream. Nothing like that happens in real life. But let me indulge myself further.

You switch to ‘Karma’ of Ever17 fame on your headphones — very much appropriate for your desired escape into the abyss of your own heart. The ocean that lurks underneath.

She would be Tsugumi and you would be Takeshi.

She would be Kurisu and you would be Okabe.

She would have that aloof look in her eyes that captivates you so entirely. That you would lose yourself in that ocean and she yours.

The submarine is collapsing further and further into the depths of the sea, next to an abandoned LeMU. The piano chords are soulfully melodic.

You leap off the rooftop, with the stars shining quietly by, conscious only of her hand in yours.

Nothing else matters — you are one with the world now. You are free.

…

Time for another can of melon milk.

Meme~

steer2justice — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 01:37:09 GMT

Interview Meme from breyzyyin

If you want to take part, comment saying so and I'll ask five questions (otherwise, I'll assume you don't!). You can respond in your LJ or in the comments if you prefer!

1. The Villain Theme over at vgames_stamps has gotten me pretty curious! Which video game villains are your personal favorites?

This is going to be very long, loool.

Okay, the first villain that came to mind (if you could even call him a villain) would be Delita Hyral from Final Fantasy Tactics. Growing up in the shadow of his best friend, Ramza Beoulve, Delita never thought of being anything more than Ramza's retainer/advisor. However, when his sister was brutally murdered and when the corruption and the class differences became too obvious to him, he set out to change the world. I'm usually attracted to such Machiavellian antiheroes/villains because they're actually doing everything for the greater good. I would find myself agreeing somewhat with the "ends justifying the means" motto as well, although it's not an excuse for some of the atrocities that people undertake for their utopia. After manipulating everyone and losing almost everything he cared for (Ovelia, his sister, arguably Ramza...), he gets stabbed and dies/goes on to live a lonely life as king. I don't think he was ever truly happy after his sister was murdered by Algus/Argath.

Second, of course, would be Jowy Atreides from Suikoden II. Another "ends before the means" antihero/antagonist, Jowy is truly a sensitive, kind man who wishes to put everything right. He knows that it's impossible to beat Luca Blight head on, so he takes it upon himself to infiltrate Highland and change it from the inside... before realizing that he'd gone too far to turn back. He's not a bad guy, per se, but he's an antagonist because of the methods he undertook to achieve his goal of peace. Riou never had to do anything bad/"evil" because Jowy already did it for him. I think Jowy would have been a far more sympathetic and compelling protagonist to play as, heh. Fighing on the "bad" side and on a losing war would be interesting, especially with someone like him.

Other antagonists that I'm very fond of would be Jun Kurosu from Persona 2: Innocent Sin, Luc from Suikoden III and Magus from Chrono Trigger.

2. So...let's pretend I'm new to gaming (lolz!). I'm really curious about trying your Top 5 video game recommendations! What exactly would those be? :)

Which genre would you want? Okay, if you wanna try a JRPG, I'd definitely recommend the original Final Fantasy VII because it was the game that brought me into the world of gaming. It has a deep, intriguing storyline and the atmosphere in the game is exactly the sort that would fascinate you. The gameplay isn't too complicated, and it's really fun too. If you wanna try a visual novel-ish sort of game, Ace Attorney would be a good choice. 999's too serious for a newcomer, while Ace Attorney has a lighthearted atmosphere, lovable characters and a totally awesome storyline. If you wanna try a strategy RPG, I'd go with Tactics Ogre: Let Us Cling Together. It has a pretty deep and involving storyline revolving around political intrigue with influences from real life events, and the gameplay is absolutely fantastic. Devil Survivor and Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 3 would be good choices too, because they're not too hard and they have the usual epic storylines and gameplay of the MegaTen games.

3. Let's talk characters! Out of all the various forms of media you've been exposed to (video games, movies, books, TV shows, anime/manga), is there a character you tend to relate the most with?

I don't think any particular character really does make me relate to him all that much though. I can think of several characters that fit my personality, but some of them don't fit in one way or another. Light Yagami from Death Note comes to mind. I can see myself trying to kill criminals if I ever have the Note (better choice than innocent people, right?), but he's a bit too methodical and perfectionistic as compared to me. Blue from Pokemon does seem to fit somewhat too. He's clearly jealous and wanting to beat Red at all costs, which I can see myself doing, and he's very competitive and antagonistic towards those he doesn't like. The thing is, I'm not as arrogant as he is, so that falls apart too. Hmmmm. I think I'll let you answer this question, f-list.

4. Taking into account varying philosophies, is there a "life philosophy" you tend to gravitate towards or do you prefer not thinking about stuff like that when it comes to life?

Hm. I don't actively have a life philosophy except to do my best at everything. Many times, it would translate to me pushing myself too hard and making myself stressed. My aunt's favorite motto, and one that she often repeats to me, is "Que Sera Sera"/"Whatever will be will be". She says that we don't exactly have to try to control everything, as most things are actually out of our control. When they are, we should just leave it to destiny. I would say that it's a "life philosophy" that I'm doing my best to follow, heh.

5. Do you have a favorite movie? If so, what is it?

Oh, I have too much to list. I like the Godfather trilogy, the Nolan Batman movies, Star Wars: The Original Trilogy, Silence of the Lambs, Dead Poets' Society... I don't think I can ever finish my list, but I don't have a favorite "favorite", per se. It depends on what I feel like watching at that moment.

A letter to end my secondary school life

steer2justice — Sat, 19 Nov 2011 14:54:48 GMT

Personally, I'm not too sure myself what to make of this note. Rainy, dreary November has been a time of goodbyes, of partings, of separations. One chapter of my life has ended, the times where I would be facing a whole class of noisy, loud and very active guys in a Catholic school. It's a time of change, of reflections, to see how much I've grown in the last four years.

It's puzzling, really. So many things have happened in these four years that seemed to have occurred for a lifetime.

My entry into the new world of secondary school, of frantic studying and a lack of the fairer sex was admittedly a very clumsy affair. I got lost on the first day of school, for god's sake, and I was amazed at how damn big the school was. It didn't help that there was a primary section and a secondary section in Maris Stella, and I got lost in the primary section for thirty darn minutes. The first time I did morning assembly (In Maris Stella, morning assembly usually involves standing outside your classroom and carrying out the usual "common activities" (read, propaganda) for the Singapore education system, followed by a long talk by the resident dictator in the school. Fun right?), it seemed totally unfathomable to me. My form teacher then was this really fierce woman who made Math lessons for the next two years a horror for me, but she was the one who pushed me to start studying to begin with.

"If you don't work hard now, you'll get kicked out of this school."

Being, well, me, I was used to lazing about and not doing much in primary school, so it came as a shock, somewhat, that secondary school would be this harsh. I didn't really start studying, of course, but I did study hard a week before the exams (the rest didn't, I suppose) and I topped the class. For the first time in my life, I was actually excelling in something (The only subject I aced in regular primary school exams was English) and the next two years just found itself.

I studied frantically. I suppose it was to save my newly found pride in my academic successes, and I became super competitive, a feat that I would have hardly thought possible a year ago. Granted, I totally sucked at some subjects like Math (always my weakness) and Design and Technology, but I grew incredibly passionate about Literature and History, doing pretty well in it. I was introduced to School of Thought in Secondary Two, and I met Mr Roy there.

I could still remember how fascinated I was with the impeccable manner in which the place was decorated. It had a room made of glass, and it looked, well, like a place in a kid's fairytales. Mr Roy was a charismatic teacher and he effortlessly made lessons interesting, easing the use of videos and small talk together with his comprehensive worksheets that made the classes a total joy to be in. I remember a girl called Sarah who sat beside me in my first lesson. She wasn't that feminine but she had a charm of her own. I think I had a tiny crush on her for a few lessons but she was too distant to have anything come out of it.

Secondary Three was a time of beginnings. I didn't remember much of the first two years because I was too focused on my academic work to forge strong friendships, so I wasn't all mopey when Secondary Two ended. It was the time I met Jingxi, the girl I fell the hardest for in my life, and although I lost contact with her in the end, I'm sure you all know the story by now. I wasn't the first in class for Secondary Three, and it came as a horror to me. There was generally greater emphasis on the science subjects, and I kinda suck at them. I topped English, Literature and the Humanities, but overall, I wasn't doing up to my expectations. Perhaps that's why I was able to ease up a little and become more personable to my classmates. They thought I was arrogant at first, but they grew to see my wacky side, and I had more friends in that year alone than the past two years combined.

Of course, Secondary Four was the time of trials. The O Levels were a horror to sit through, not because they were hard per se, but because it was a horror to study for them. People were studying frantically and the stress was growing to unbearable levels. Ironically, it was also the year I attended the most parties. I had a party at the start of the year as a friend was leaving for Australia, and it brought us closer as a class. We had the usual Chinese New Year party, and after the O Levels, we recently had Graduation Night.

Thank you, everyone, for making the last four years a pleasure to live through.

To Mr Roy, you have been endlessly inspiring and charismatic, and I've learnt a lot from you. It's not just in studies, definitely, but also the value of networking and making friends. "If a person desires something hungrily enough, the entire universe would conspire together to help him succeed. If he doesn't, it means that he found something much more worthwhile."

To my aunt, you have been a shining beacon in my life. I wouldn't have successfully endured the past few years without her by my side, being endlessly supportive and occasionally harsh when I'm in the need of tough love.

To Jingxi, you're probably never ever going to read this, but thank you for leaving such bittersweet memories behind for me. We might not meet again, but the time we met in China was a beautiful one. I remember the times where I would look forward to the "class" because I got to sit beside her, and I remember talking about our common interests and even singing for her on our last day together.

To my teachers in school (Mrs Melvin, Mrs Khoo, Mrs Chan, Ms Lee, Mr Tan, Ms Wong, Ms Koh), you have helped to make me a better person. I remember working my butt off in Chemistry lessons, where my teacher would give us her usual stoic face and "persuade" us to drop Chemistry. I remember my Physics teacher coming in to save our class after the horror that was our Secondary Three Physics teacher (Granted, I was never fully saved, but aaaaa). My history teacher was wacky and knowledgeable, and he sparked an interest in History inside me. Literature too, was a pleasure to sit through because it was a lesson where we would come together to discuss abstract notions and stuff that sometimes had nothing to do with the subject. And I think I'll remember Mrs Melvin for the rest of my life, because she was just charming like that.

To my best friends in school (Joey, Titus, Daniel Wen, Bryan Ong and Ashley among many others), thank you for being my friend. I know I'm probably overly competitive and annoying at times, but it has been a pleasure fighting towards our shared dreams together. I hope we'll continue being friends in the years to come.

To my best friends outside school (Kai Quan, Chloe, Sze Chun, Zhi Xin), it has been a pleasure knowing you for so long. Our friendship has withstood the test of time (somewhat), and I hope we'll continue talking and being generally supportive of each other even as we walk different paths in life.

I see a long road in front of me, but the last four years have thought me that the end is not important. All that matters is the journey towards that end.

Love,
Michal.

...And Justice for All.

steer2justice — Sat, 21 May 2011 16:01:06 GMT

Hey guys. I'm back.

Life has been... rather wonderful lately. I've gotten back my Prelim One results and they're not all that bad. Rather decent, actually.

English: 75/100 (A1)
Chemistry: 74.5/100 (A2)
Physics: 57.5/100 (C5)
Literature: 67/100 (B3)
C.Humans: 71/100 (A2)
Mathematics: 71/100 (A2)
A.Math: HORRID BUT NEARLY EVERYONE FAILED SO I'M NOT GOING TO POST IT HERE. IT'S IN THE THIRTIES.
H.Chinese: 63/100 (B4)

L1R5: 14, Average for best 6 subjects: 70.2%

It's quite decent for Prelim One, with all those rumors floating about throughout school that Prelim One is meant to kill students. Sure, I have friends who have scores of twenties and thirties, but it's not the end of the fight yet, and after my break, I'll continue fighting towards my dream.

But enough about grades. My goal to serve my country as a deputy public prosecutor and eventually an honorable judge has been reinforced countless times this year, and it's a blessing, in some ways.

Firstly, I served as a public prosecutor myself in a class trial during Literature class. It's beautiful how Literature allows you to do so much. It's a lesson about life, actually, and it makes you all the more insightful to how the world works. The defendant in the case was the infamous Abigail Williams, the mastermind behind the infamous Salem Witch Trials in the Crucible by Arthur Miller, and I began my assault, to convict Abigail of first-degree murder for the Witch hunts.

It was also my first encounter, my first true encounter, with the art of cross examination. It isn't the same as the Ace Attorney games, not entirely. Through my questions, I tried to control the tide of the trial, by making my witnesses say whatever I wanted them too, that would be beneficial to my case. Basically, all they had to say were "Yes", or "No", and when the defense, who was played by my rival, tried to appeal that Williams had a traumatic past, it was thrilling to shatter his case by proving that she had the capability to think rationally and try to escape the long hand of justice. Someone who has shown that level of competency should be logical enough to think about the consequences of her actions, and thus, her traumatic past was no excuse for her contemptible behavior.

The cut and thrust of cross examination was so much more thrilling as compared to debating in my opinion, even though they shared many similarities. It also made me feel... alive, for once. I had this fire, this passion for justice burning through me, to win and put away the evil defendant for her crimes against society. Even though she was ultimately declared not guilty of murder, and guilty of manslaughter, I felt like I had done my best.

It was a tie. My strategy to prove that she was more than capable to think rationally as compared to my rival's strategy of establishing mental instability as a form of defense. Since it was a tie, the prosecution has not proven her guilt beyond a shadow of a doubt, and thus, she could not have been convicted for murder in the first degree. Even though it was a defeat of some sort (I wonder what von Karma would say if he saw me getting thrashed in my first "trial"), it made me feel accomplished in the end.

Secondly, I met an old senior over at Facebook. He was from the Literature class two years ago, and is now studying Arts in Victoria Junior College and he has even made it so far into becoming the president of the Debates Association in the college. The best thing is, he had even gone through an internship in the Attorney General's Office with the Deputy Public Prosecutors.

Apparently, prosecutors in Singapore have to go through lots of trials of prisoners and argue for their prosecution. They would then argue whether they are guilty or not, and the sentence they should be charged with, which would be opposed by the defense lawyer and defendant. It doesn't pay all that well, only a monthly sum of four thousand and five hundred dollars, but it made me all the more resolved to become a deputy prosecutor that fights for the good for the people.

And he left me with a really insightful quote.

"There's nothing great about being a lawyer. The greatest thing is to be yourself."

For me, I want to become a prosecutor to safeguard the security of the community and to give some reprieve to the victims of horrible crime. It might be stressful, it might not pay all that well, but I don't really care. I believe this is what I'm meant for, it's my vocation, and I'll do whatever I must to achieve my goals.

Thirdly, the Phoenix Wright musical. The Decree of the Prosecutor, Edgeworth's song, really fits with what I'm thinking now.

Even though I've fallen, I'll rise again.
I admit that I've made mistakes.
A new day will soon begin, and I swear that I will win,
Yes, I'll do whatever it takes!
Staunchly, I'll ascend to the top again.
I won't let another go free.
I know this is not the end, I feel a new fire within:
A personal renaissance in me!

I fight for truth! I fight for justice,
So that all families can safely sleep at night.
To stop criminalization, I pursue incarceration. For security,
I'll fight you until your spirit breaks!
I'll fight, no matter what is at stake!
Not fame! Not glory! But this courtroom purgatory
is the reason I fight...

Even though I'm no longer the top student as I was two years ago, I'll not give up on my dream. I'll do whatever it takes to achieve it, and I can feel the fire of passion burning through me and energizing me. Don't give up on your endeavours, f-list!

Of fanfiction and insanity.

steer2justice — Sun, 19 Dec 2010 18:15:02 GMT

I've been writing lately. It helps me think, and it brings my idea to life as well.

First up, the soliloquy of madness, the birth of the monster clown of Final Fantasy VI. I didn't give him a name because I believed Kefka to be an ideal, and anyone, under the right circumstances, could have become Kefka.

As the man sat in the chamber, he contemplated about his life.

They told him not to think while the Magitek infusion process was being carried out, but he thought they were being worried over nothing. Magitek was state-of-the-art, a futuristic process designed to allow normal human beings to wield the power of gods. The power to destroy and create to your heart's desire. The power that had single-handedly sparked off a war that almost destroyed the Planet.

Magic.

And he was the first. The first of a glorious generation of Magitek Knights, magic-wielding super soldiers that would fight and die for their cause. Namely, for Emperor Gestahl, the supreme ruler of the Gestahlian Empire. There were rumors, of course. Rumors that the process had not yet been perfected, that fear of Gestahl's wrath caused the researchers to rush it out. The nameless man was not afraid, however. A cowardly man would not have been as brilliant as he was in the art of military strategy. It was ambition and talent that propelled his meteoric rise through the ranks, to become the head strategist of the Gestahlian Empire.

As the machines whirred, injecting anesthesia into his body to numb his body to the many injections that would infuse his body with the power of magic, he smiled.

He had always been special, that much he knew for certain, and now he would prove his ability to his critics. To show them how powerful he was.

There was another fear that had been plaguing the man for years.

He had been suffering from incessant nightmares, with morbid Jungian archetypes and insane laughter.

Of clowns and court jesters, who laughed maniacally in his dreams. Of dangerous, beautiful flames consuming everything he held dear. Power, wealth, everything.

Most prominently, of a desolate wasteland, with blood red rivers, despairing townspeople and-

-And a tower of God.

It was ironic that the very first test subject for the Magitek infusion process was someone who was afraid of the very idea of a God. The Warring Triad had powers beyond his imaginations, but it was not God. The God in his dreams had been a being of infinite strength. A being who had four wings and was cloaked only with a loincloth. Of a being who radiated light.

The man's God had a cruel, sickening laugh, as if he knew the meaning of life. The meaning of life that no human should have been aware of. Then again, gods were different from humans because they had the power to be different. The man wondered faintly if he could have become one, with the power of Magic. No insolent fool would dare cross him once again, knowing he could easily set him on fire if he wished.

The God had a name, and it was Kefka.

He felt God's kiss in his skin, as power coursed through every fibre of his being. The man grinned widely, at the realization of his dream.

Absolute power.

He would- No, he could become a god if he so wished. He could reign over everything, and topple Gestahl and his foolishly short-sighted Empire. He could become God itself, and reign over the world with this power.

The nightmares would be no more, crushed by his godlike strength. His dissenters would be persecuted and tortured endlessly, made to cower and beg for their lives.

And he would kill them after humiliating them completely, of stripping them of every last ounce of their dignity.

Clowns? Symbols of fear? Of the being they called Kefka?

He could and he would crush them all. With this power, he was God and he could do anything.

But-

What exactly was the meaning of life then? If Magic was the power of the gods, and if God knew the meaning of life, then it only made sense that he would know it as well.

...And then it dawned on him.

The ideal world was the wasteland.

A beautiful picture of catastrophe, despair and destruction. Beauty in destruction, how poetic.

Fire. He would burn everything down. That was the meaning of life.

Destruction.

Despair.

Chaos.

A quiet, trembling voice at the back of his head asked, "What if you die?"

What if he died?

What if God died?

Would anything have mattered once he did? Once he died, he would be whisked into the Phantom Train of legend and his power would be gone. He would then be reduced into something simple, of something trivial, like a pitiful human.

Where did life come from?

Where did dreams come from?

Where did hope come from?

All these things were abstract, and-

If God's power was absolute, he could destroy anything. Anything concrete, that is. Did God also have the power to destroy abstract beliefs?

No.

There was nothing he couldn't do. He would destroy them all.

And he was now Kefka.

The harbinger of destruction. The messiah of the new world. He would usher in a new age of chaos and destruction.

And he laughed. It was humorous, his life's struggle for power and wealth. Nothing else mattered anymore. Nothing else mattered from the very beginning.

One more, for my friend kakaetakiseki, a belated birthday present of sorts. What if she had the death note? A... parody of the original material, it would seem.

Wong Li Ying was bored.

No, the reason for her boredom was not due to the lack of events occupying her time, nor was it because she was simply too efficient and competent, with abilities far exceeding those of her age.

The real reason, was because there was too much to do, and she hated it all.

She didn't mind studying for the national exams that were only two months away. Delving inside the fountains of knowledge had always been relatively exciting for her, and she actually enjoyed it. That was also one of the reasons why Li Ying had excelled in all of her schoolwork effortlessly, much to the admiration of her peers.

There was another aspect of education that she vehemently detested, with every fibre of her being.

It was the competition.

Naturally, being one of the top students of your school, you would be placed in one of the best classes, mixing with those who were also deeply motivated and highly ambitious with their lives. However, they were being too ambitious, and Li Ying could see the pointless backstabbing and scheming among her classmates from a mile away. She was considered a loner, in the eyes of others, and she was perfectly fine with that.

It was, in her opinion, far more efficient to trust no one else but herself, because she knew that she would never betray herself and everything she held dear. Of course, as that loneliness consumed her, the shadow of boredom descended upon her as well.

Li Ying wanted something else from her life. Something greater and more... interesting.

Something that would take this emptiness away from her, and transform it into something special. That she could use to leave her mark on the world.

Somewhere from up above, God was smiling upon her.

---

"What's this?"

She knelt down and picked up a small black book. The texture of the book was... different. It felt slightly rough, unlike the perfect smooth texture of paper. It was small, and inconspicuously seemed no different than any notebook one could purchase in a convenience store.

However, Li Ying froze slightly, not believing her eyes.

The book had a very ominous title indeed.

"Death Note."

She opened the book, wanting to laugh to herself.

"The human whose name is written in this note shall die."

This definitely had to be a prank. Some stupid kid probably thought it was funny to scare people, and dropped this book that he created. Okay, she had to admit that this scenario seemed a little iffy to her, but this definitely couldn't be a notebook of death, right?

It would completely defy the laws of physics if one was able to murder someone else without lifting a finger, or in this case, by writing a person's name into some weird notebook.

The logical thing to do would be to leave the book on the ground and walk away, but Li Ying wanted to check something. There was this sickening feeling inside her that she couldn't explain, an unnatural obsession with the book. Perhaps the book was real after all...?

...Naaaaah.

---

No one was home, as usual. Her arrogant excuse for a brother was probably off bragging about his latest accomplishments to the people he deemed as friends, although Li Ying occasionally wondered to herself if anyone would be stupid enough to befriend someone as completely obnoxious as him? Father and Mother had a reason to be absent though, they were away at work as usual, and Li Ying was never really all that close to them anyway.

Sitting on her study desk, she was about to open her Chemistry workbook to complete the day's homework, when she suddenly remembered the very strange book that was currently sitting in her backpack.

Sighing to herself, Li Ying flipped the book opened, and quietly read through the numerous laws as stated by the book.

"This note will not take effect unless the writer has the person’s face in their mind when writing his/her name. Therefore, people sharing the same name will not be affected."

"If the cause of death is written within the next 40 seconds of writing the person’s name, it will happen."

"If the cause of death is not specified, the person will simply die of a heart attack."

"After writing the cause of death, details of the death should be written in the next 6 minutes and 40 seconds."

This book was most definitely intriguing, that much cannot be denied. To think that a prankster would put so much thought into his prank, to carefully consider the rules behind this Death Note, and to painstakingly write it all out...

This was no normal prank, that was for sure.

The only real way to know if this book was real or not... would be to test it, naturally. She had to find someone that was internationally renowned, because that would yield the fastest results for her experiment. It was most likely a prank, but Li Ying had to be sure. She wanted to know. She had to know.

Question is... who should she kill?

A criminal?

A politician?

An actor?

A singer?

Looking at her brother's poster of the famous singer, Justine Bieber, she smiled in approval to herself.

"Justine Bieber."

The time was approximately one thirty in the afternoon.

Millions of miles away, in Hollywood, America, Justine Bieber collapsed in the middle of a rehearsal. Sleeping for eternity.
---
When Li Ying read the news on Twitter later that night, she felt like she was going to throw up.

According to a reliable source, Justine Bieber collapsed and died in her studio, in the middle of a dance rehearsal. The most likely cause of death?

You didn't even have to ask.

She died of heart failure.

A heart attack.

The experiment had succeeded.

The book was real.

Wong Li Ying was now a murderer, having directly caused the death of an international pop icon.

No, no, no, Li Ying tried to tell herself, this could have purely been a coincidence. A trick of Fate. This didn't mean anything. She needed to see for herself that the notebook of death worked.

With her own eyes.
---
Sliding the Death Note on top of her Chinese textbook, Li Ying shivered inwardly. This had to have been a coincidence. Justine Bieber didn't die because of her. It was totally illogical and impossible for something as crazy as this to happen.

"Oi, Pipsqueaks. I come in here to teach you guys and this is the respect I get. I know what you students are up to nowadays, with your stupid boyfriends and teenaged relationships. In my day..."

Her Chinese teacher was universally hated, to say the least. No one liked her, and she was a completely horrible person. There were rumors of her having physically abused a student, although no one had evidence to verify the claim.

...The perfect test subject.

Li Ying smiled to herself, masking her fears, and started scribbling.

If one didn't know better, they would have assumed that she was taking notes, as usual.

Forty seconds later, her chinese teacher collapsed on the floor of the classroom, twitching violently before she fell asleep for eternity.

It was true!

This book really was a notebook of death.

She was now a murderer.

Li Ying was panicking inwardly. She killed two people. Two.

Should she give herself up? No, that would be stupid. She would ruin her future if she did, and murder was a crime punishable by death. It was not a good solution.

She couldn't give the book up though. What if another found it, and traced it down to her? She'd be finished.
That left only one option to consider.

It wasn't even a choice. There were no evidence pointing to her, so she should be free from suspicion from the police for now, but there was no guarantee they wouldn't catch on. Still, this was a risk she had to take. This was the only road left for her.

From that day on, Li Ying was never bored again.

And Kira was born.

MY LIFE IS OFFICIALLY AWESOME

steer2justice — Sun, 12 Dec 2010 16:28:56 GMT

I love my life.

I REALLY REALLY DO.

I LOVE WOMEN MORE THAN MY LIFE BUT AAAA THAT'S LIKE TELLING YOU MY NAME'S STEER.

Okay calm down self. Calm down. Are you calm yet? Yeah? Okay, shaddup.

I had a pleasant talk with planetarian today. OMG SHE WAS SO CUTE. I SHOULD TOTALLY GROW WINGS AND FLY OVER TO USA WITH HER WHERE SHE CAN TREAT ME ICE CREAM AND I CAN FLIRT WITH HER TO MY HEART'S CONTENT.

I know you love punks, April. Don't lie to meeee~

AND THE MAIN COURSE.

Okay, I was going out with my best friend, Suzy, today to the Airport. It was a pretty spontaneous decision, but one which made a significant impact on my life.

Fine it probably didn't, but it was so fun.

Not the bloody airport, silly. The bus ride back.

Okay, basically, there were these two pretty ladies sitting behind me. They were really cute, and I couldn't keep my eyes off them. And they were being really close to each other.

AND BY CLOSE I MEAN REALLY CLOSE. LIKE I KISS YOUR CHEEK TYPE OF CLOSE.

Okay maybe my eyes are lying to me. I'm not exactly sure, but yeah.

And when the bus reached the next stop, there was this old lady with goldfish eyes that sat on the bus steps. WTF. And she stared at me with those soulless eyes that obviously wanted me to give up my seat. Too bad, goldfish eyes. I was too busy talking to my best friend/not caring enough, and the passenger in front of me, a girl, gave up her seat to help Ol' Goldfish Eyes.

Okay, so basically I was feeling all heroic and stuff, right? So I actually wanted to give my seat to the girl who gave up hers, but she was already walking away, and my seat got taken up by a greedy evil woman. 8( I hate her.

OKAY SO BASICALLY THIS IS THE FUN PART.

While standing, I saw them kissing.

YES.

KISSING.

I TOLD SUZY, MY BEST FRIEND.

"OI SUZY. GET YOUR ASS UP. THE GIRLS BEHIND YOU ARE LESBIANS." I MOUTHED TO HIM.

HE WAS LIKE "WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU."

OKAY SO HE GOT UP.

AND THEN HE WENT ALL "WHAT? NOW SOME UGLY GUY TOOK MY SEAT."

I POINTED AT THE PRETTY GIRLS AT THE BACK.

"Lesbians, kissing."

AND YOU KNOW WHAT HE SAID?

"Hey, let's ask them! I'll go ask whether they're lesbians and maybe their number too! In return, you have to tell the girl who gave up her seat that you like her."

"Deal", I said.

SO HE ACTUALLY WENT UP TO THEM AND OMG THE PRETTY GIRLS WERE GIGGLING SO BAD.

AND I WAS LOL-ING LIKE THE EVIL MASTER-MIND I WAS.

KNOW WHY? BECAUSE ONE GIRL GAVE THE OTHER GIRL A PECK ON THE CHEEK.

YES.

THE CHEEK.

AND THE GIRLS WERE GIGGLING MADLY, AND SUZY, MY FRIEND, WAS BLUSHING LIKE A RED TOMATO.

WE WERE LOL-ING SO BAD THE OTHER PASSENGERS LOOKED PISSED LIKE OL' GOLDFISH FACE.

And the girls were reeeeeeeally cute but that's beside the point.

ANYWAY MY TURN.

SO I WENT UP TO THE GIRL WHO GAVE UP HER SEAT.

"Um. You're really pretty."

AND SHE WAS LIKE "WTF" AND IGNORED ME.

8((((((

BUT THE TWO PRETTY GIRLS AT THE BACK WERE LAUGHING SO HARD.

When they got off, they said "Bye~" and gave us a radiant smile.

You know, if they were actually feeling miserable and sad before that happened, we would have done a good deed!

And they were really cute. I wish we obtained their names. 8(

BUT ALL IN ALL TODAY WAS AWESOME.

EDIT: SUZY HAS HIS OWN BLOG TOO OMG. HIS RENDITION OF THE EVENTS. http://zcnmashleu.blogspot.com/

OMG THE COMMENTS BELOW AHAHAHAHAHAHA. I LOVE MY LIFEEEEE~

CARPE DIEM: SEIZE THE DAY

steer2justice — Sat, 04 Dec 2010 16:52:41 GMT

"O Captain my Captain~"

YES I KNOW.

I'M A LATE BLOOMER.

I have just watched one of the best movies of my bloody life. "Dead Poets Society".

Seriously, is this week movie week or what. First, I watched "V for Vendetta", which was one of the best "superhero" movies I've watched, and it portrayed a "superhero" that was actually almost as bad as the evil he was fighting. Somewhat like Light, but except V is a terrorist hell bent on revenge. I suspect that was the main reason behind his crusade as well, and not any sense of justice or anything. I loved that newspaper guy that did a comedy on the totalitarian leader, who got blackbagged later on in the show. 8(

And "Taken", showing Qui-Gon, Henry Ducard, absolutely fucking awesome LIAM NEESON portraying the best spy/secret agent/assassin or whatever, destroying a human trafficking gang by himself. I MEAN SERIOUSLY. HE IS THAT FUCKING AWESOME.

...BUT THESE SHOWS PALE IN COMPARISON TO ONE SENTENCE

CARPE DIEM

LIVE THE DAY

...Okay, not like anyone didn't know that. 8(

Still, I identified so much with that one guy... Uh... Nuwanga and a bit of Neil. Okay, fine, my parents never pushed me around unnecessarily, and I think I'm awesome but not as awesome as Nuwanga (THAT GUY IS GOD OKAY). BUT FFFFF MR KEATING.

He reminds me so much of my tuition teacher, whom I deeply respect and admire.

O CAPTAIN MY CAPTAIN.

......Yes I'm hyperventilating.

NO MATTER HOW AMORAL I CAN BE, I'LL NEVER SELL HIM OUT.

O CAPTAIN MY CAPTAIN~~~

...I'm so obsessed I actually stood on my table and nearly fell off. 8)

You know I could write an essay on how I should seize the day and everything... but aaaa I don't want to waste this passion and energy.

Now I shall go off and stand on tables. Changes my perspective. 8)

【THE TIME CAPSULE MEME】

Because I was bored

steer2justice — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 07:09:49 GMT

I tried my hands at some writing. I was bored, and after finishing P3P, I had a sudden burst of inspiration.

Don't get your hopes too high, alright? This is a slightly AU story, where Minato takes Pharos/Ryoji's place as the Harbinger of Death.

A dream of full moons

It was nearly midnight, and the full moon was a week away. If what she'd thought was right...

That man would be here tonight.

She couldn't help but sense a strange familiarity around him. That man in question was impossibly thin, and was almost as pale as the full moon itself. He had blue hair that seemed dubious in origin, and he looked slightly dead.

All the signs pointed to a spirit or an apparition of sorts. Maybe he was even a Shadow.

Still, Sumire Arisato was not afraid of him. She felt closest to him since he appeared on the night she arrived at the Iwatodai dorms.

Tick. Tick. Tiiiick.

In Sumire's mind, she could see a pink clock shattering, replaced by the dull green that pervaded the Dark Hour, the hidden time between one day and the next.

"You do understand that there's only a week left?"

That blue-haired man was in her room once again. Sumire Arisato could feel her heart beating wildly. Her predictions had been correct.

"Yeah! I've been training hard, and making new Personae! In actual fact, I've been waiting for you, to tell you that this persona I have is awesomely powerful. I can beat the next full moon Shadow. No problem!"

The blue-haired man chuckled softly, and nodded.

"Being confident is good."

"Yeah... I'm not going to let those Strega off. For Shinjiro-senpai's sake, I gotta be stronger...!"

The blue-haired man cocked his head quietly, almost as if he didn't understand something.

"So, that's your reason for fighting... Curious."

"What's so curious about it?

"No, it's nothing. Once upon a time, I had a reason to fight as well..."

"Once upon a time?" Sumire Arisato asked, almost curiously. So, that meant that he was a ghost then?

"...It's of no importance to your situation. I wish you all the best, Sumire Arisato."

The blue haired man turned away from her. This was a familiar sight. It meant that he was going to disappear again.

"...And don't trust Ikutuski."

----------

It, then, felt almost like dramatic irony that she had saved the world on the very same bridge that had shattered her life.

She had lost everything on the Moonlight Bridge.

Her parents, who were distant, but loving.

And her brother...

The smart, quiet brother that anyone would die to have. He had been the closest family she ever had, and she had always confided in him.

"Big bro would solve everything!" That was what she thought at that time.

Her brother could ace exams without even studying much for them. Her brother was never scared of anything since she could remember. Her brother had this otherworldly, ephemeral charm to him that attracted people to him inexplicably.

How did he look like...? She couldn't remember.

She couldn't remember his name as well. What was it again?

It almost seemed like he had vanished along with the car crash. He had disappeared completely. No corpse was found, unlike her parents, and there was nothing that showed that Sumire Arisato ever had a brother. As far as legal documents went, Sumire Arisato was an only child.

Or maybe her brother had never existed. Maybe it was her desire to have a brother that created him...

Those were dark times that she had went through, after all.

Still, Sumire Arisato would never lose hope. That she had an older brother that would make things right.

A true savior of the world.

It, then, felt almost like dramatic irony that she had saved the world on the very same bridge that had shattered her life.

--------

"Well then. I guess this is goodbye."

The blue-haired man said, on the very next morning.

"...Will I ever see you again?" Sumire Arisato asked, somehow knowing that this day would come, sooner or later.

"Maybe. Sooner than you know..."

The blue-haired man smiled. Smiled for the very first time. It went like this. His face was as emotionless as ever, but slowly, his mouth began to move in the most peculiar manner. It was like the moon. A new moon evolving to a crescent moon. Yes, that was it.

And that smile unnerved Sumire Arisato. It shot past the various personae, the many masks that she had worn throughout her days (She had been a master at pretending ever since her parents passed away.) to stare at Sumire Arisato's naked soul.

...Only her brother could do that. Still, there was no way this blue-haired man could be him. They didn't even look alike.

How did her brother look like again?

"Please! Before you go..." Sumire then let out a cry. It sounded almost desperate.

The blue-haired man turned to look at her, as if he couldn't feel the desperation in her voice.

"Have we met?"

The blue-haired man smiled again.

"Maybe we have. Still, I'll always be by your side, protecting you."

----------

"I'll always be by your side, protecting you."

---------

Classroom 2F of Gekkoukan High School was noisy as always.

It was even noisier than usual, with all the rumors of a new transfer student rife among the student population. It spread like wildfire that the new transfer student was hot as hell, even though he was quiet and very introverted. Apparently, he was returning to Japan after following his parents overseas for work. Sumire Arisato was skeptical, of course. The rumors were hardly ever accurate.

The instant Ms Toriumi entered the classroom, with a teenage boy following closely behind her, Sumire Arisato could have fainted.

It was him. It was the boy!

"It's nice to meet you all. My name is Minato Arisato."

Fail fanficery and meme~

steer2justice — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 02:50:01 GMT

Right, for angelis_ignis

Princess Garnet of Alexandria absolutely detested him.

That man, Godot, appeared one day and started prancing around as if he owned the place. He had that sickening grin plastered on his face, and well… who was he to call every lady he met a “kitten”? He went on and on about coffee, a brew that supposedly only he knew about, and it irked Garnet to no end.

…Perhaps it simply wasn’t just the smile that disturbed and annoyed Garnet, who was usually a fair-tempered little lady. It was his entire being, and she could see nothing positive about him at all.

And that mysterious Godot got along with that Zidane… Figures, they were both the same kind of men anyhow. She’d much rather spend time with the adorable Vivi, or even the subservient Stenier who was a little too obedient for her liking.

That, and she needed to get home as quickly as possible. Her mother was acting strangely ever since that silver-haired man showed up in the castle. He curried her favor, but Garnet didn’t like him. He was the only one who made Godot look remotely gentlemanly, and that was saying something.

“Hey, kitten.”

…Argh! He showed up again.

“Sharpening your claws, eh? I guess you aren't mature enough to try a cup of hot, flaming darkness. Want a coffee candy? Seems to suit you.”

That was the final straw. She could take his insolence no further.

“I am no kitten, Sir Godot, and I do not advise you to speak in that manner to the Princess of Alexandria.” She huffed, “Excuse me. I must be some other where.”

She didn’t notice that nostalgic grin on his face as she stormed off. If she had only stopped for a moment, perhaps she could have heard him say to himself.

“The kitten has claws. Just like you, Mia.”

Also, a meme~

THE SEIYUU MEME

Ramblings and memes.

steer2justice — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 17:16:39 GMT

Goddamn, I take that back. No new games my ass. I just found one gem.

Yeah, the game in question is Valkyrie Profile: Covenant of the Plume. It's good. It's real good. I've only had it for a few hours, but the storyline is a masterpiece. It evoked emotion inside me in just a few minutes. Can you believe that? Well, you'd better, because you're playing as the bad guy.

The protagonist, Wylfred, is somewhat like Light Yagami. He's a tragic figure, having lost his father to the Goddess of Death, Valkyrie, leading his sister to die of malnutrition and his mother to go insane from the grief. So what does he do after that? He leaves alone to join the mercenaries to get some cash and also to get stronger to exact his revenge on the Valkyrie, blaming her for all the misfortune in life. His best friend tags along, and five minutes later, you die.

Yes, you're killed protecting your best friend from a monster you supposedly killed almost moments ago. Your best friend is powerful, certainly much stronger than you are, but all he does is watch in horror as you stand in front of him and take the killing blow for him. What happens next? You enter hell, and make a pact with the devil to come back to the world of the living. For revenge, he'll do anything. Living and survival is the first priority for this revenge driven guy.

So what does he do next? Well, the devil sent a cute maid to be beside him, but the maid can only be seen and heard by Wylfred himself. Reminds you of Ryuk, doesn't it? After that, the devil urges him to keep his covenant with him. He has to do something if he wants to get stronger and not be killed by the devil's beast. Yes, satisfy the plume given to him by the Valkyrie, turned into a dark, satanic artifact by the devil himself. So what do you have to do? Chant a few words and kill your best friend for good.

The dying scene is heartbreaking, as you watch your friend grow invulnerable and slaughter the demons after both of you. He collapses after that, and he refuses to die. He wants to continue living, to meet his girlfriend once again. The worst thing is that he wants you to tell his girlfriend to live happily without him, and understandably, Wylfred is more than a little shocked. He goes bonkers and tells the merc captain that he wasn't the killer.

...It makes you feel like smacking him. He's a tragic hero, different from all those usual protagonists. The worst thing is that if you don't fulfill the sin criteria, which is done by either killing off your friends or scoring critical hits in battle, you're dead. You're gonna be eaten by a beast like Cerberus, because the devil ain't happy.

So what do you do? You run away from the merc gang and meet up with a lady. She's really pretty, but it turns out that she was being tracked down by assassins. Our lovely protagonist has no choice but to defend himself, but the first thought in his mind was whether he could kill her, since they are technically allies. Yes, I'm playing as a cold-hearted murderer. Thankfully, the maid tells him that he needs to form an unbreakable bond with her first, before he can use her life to satisfy the plume.

The lady was actually an assassin of the kingdom, and the scenes she had with her workaholic father who was doing everything he can to protect her were heartbreaking, even for Wylfred. He swears to avenge his father, turning away from them. The fact that I can choose to betray and kill them anytime is... disturbing. The lady treats Wylfred as a friend, and all he does is think to himself whether a friendship with her is "useful" or not. As a civil war breaks out, you are given the choice to join the rebels or help the struggling kingdom against the rebellion.

After you choose to fight the rebellion, you fight against the rebels. After defeating them, you see two mercenaries, merely children, who kill for fun. They tell you that killing is fun, and that people who don't admit that are hypocrites. They are sociopaths, but Wylfred teams up with them. Heh, I wouldn't mind killing those people though. They would probably cause more harm to others, and what they say about killing and hypocrisy really make me sick.

That's all in the first chapter. The soundtrack is haunting, and the gameplay is a mix between strategy and Role playing, with a twist. I... just found my ideal game. Square-Enix, you might actually be a good developer for once.

This is the opening theme to the game, and... oh my god.

I think I just found a game worthy of my time. Wylfred might be a son of a bitch, but he's awfully sympathetic. He's willing to do anything, simply for revenge. It's sad, really. Will we all become like him, provided the situation is right? He's definitely one of my most favorite protagonists judging from thus far, simply because he's so interesting.

Memes. First one, from atrypical

mysoundtrackmeme ♫
♪ my thread

moeruzepikachu gave me a meme~

Give me a boy/girl from a fandom and I will give you my:

☀ OTP for them.
☀ Runner-up pairing.
☀ Honorable mention(s).
☀ Crack pairing(s).
☀ Ship everyone else seems to like, but I don't.

Another one from moeruzepikachu

Leave me an anonymous comment. It can be one sentence [or even just a word], or you can pour your heart out and write me a book. Anything you want to tell me - from what you think about me to what you think about yourself, to a situation you don't know how to resolve, to anything random or pop culture-y that you just want to talk about - venting, squeeing, anything! Don't hold back.

Stamped Lists

steer2justice — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 09:04:28 GMT

Chrono Cross

Chrono Trigger

Final Fantasy

Final Fantasy VII

Batman

Death Note

Sorting Hat

Phoenix Wright

Apollo Justice

JRPG

Kingdom Hearts

Persona 3

Persona 4

Castlevania

Others

I was just cleaning it up recently, replacing the old stamps with re-stamps and the sort. Are there any connection between them, I wonder~

First Post

steer2justice — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 07:06:45 GMT

Well, before starting, I'm steer2justice

FRIENDS ONLY~ COMMENT TO BE ADDED

First Post

I always seem to do these things, but I never succeed at them. Let's hope this livejournal can stand the test of time though (although I highly doubt so.)

Anyway, the obligatory introduction post.

Name: Jmmichal/Michael Steer/Raphael Drive is how I usually go about in the Internet. My real name is actually quite unique, and I get people asking me if I'm French. Weird, yes? My real name is Jan-Michal, for those who are curious. It's really unique, no? I'd prefer a more normal name like Michael, but oh well~

Birthday: I'm born on the 22nd of February, 1995, making me thirteen this year.

Place of origin: Singapore, a very developed city with its fair share of problems. Too bad it doesn't have the four seasons though. I would have loved to see the snow falling from above. How romantic, no? It's summer all year round, so yeah.

What am I studying?: The usual. History, Math, English, Mandarin, Biology, Chemistry, Physics. I'm currently in secondary school over here. It's sort of like elementary seven, yeah. We have a different system here, as we are following the British education system instead of the American one.

What makes me happy?: I'm not really one for materialism. Friends, being appreciated, having the time of our lives, love and many other things make me happy. I'm quite emotional, even to the point that I feel it's too much.

What am I listening to now? : Moments- Ayumi Hamasaki. I found the song in ranalinde's profile, and I must applaud her for good taste in music, along with other things. The song is aptly melancholic, tinging your heart with a sense of loneliness, or perhaps it's just me over-analyzing things again.

An interesting fact about me?: I have dreadful curly hair, a trait that is quite rare in the chinese race. I appreciate the fact that I'm different, but it's not really good-looking, if you ask me. I might change it someday, hah.

Am I in love?: Ah, the million-dollar question. I find that love, itself, is a emotion that is really special, and should only be shared with one's loved ones, but if you're talking about crushes, I have loads of them. However, I'm waiting for my perfect soul-mate, that can withstand the harsh reality of life along with me. Yes, I'm hopeless.

Favourite place to be: It doesn't matter, really. Wherever I'm needed, I will be. However, I just hope that the place I'm needed in doesn't include school.

Favourite lyric: Well, I don't really have one. I would prefer the song to flow, hah. I don't pay attention to them, but to the general tone and feeling of the song.

Best time of the year: November-December. It's the school holidays, two months for me to retreat into my own world and not go out. It's always raining then, and I love the setting, at home alone with the cold rain outside.

Weirdest food I like?: Gee, that's hard. Frog legs, maybe? I find them rather tasty.

RECOMMEND
1. A film: "The Classic" by Kwak Jae Young. It's really romantic, the classic Korean tear-jerker, with marvelous acting by the actress Son Ye-Jin.
2. A book: "Animal Farm" by George Orwell. It's really political, and yet, it captivates me, losing hours in this wonderful work of art.
3. A song: "Naraku No Hana", it's just really special to me. I have fond memories of being with someone, listening to that song.
4: A band: "EXILE". Just because they're good singers.

FANDOM
1. Favorite Fandom:Phoenix Wright/Gyakuten Saiban and Final Fantasy.
2. OTP/OT3: Phoenix/Iris. They're so sweet. I love reading fics about them being in love. XD
3. Icon/Fic Journal (so I can join): Nah, I haven't joined any so far.

((I took the meme from ranalinde's profile. I found it interesting, and I proceeded to try it. I hope she won't mind though. It's really interesting.))