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Needs a Hug Needs a Hug

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STEAM GROUP

Needs a Hug Needs a Hug

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Founded

25 July, 2012

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ABOUT Needs a Hug

Yes, I created a steam group and named it after my old World of Warcraft guild.

We all need hugs.

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POPULAR DISCUSSIONS

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RECENT ANNOUNCEMENTS

New holiday announced

4 December, 2013 - Bingledorf Higgens Sr. | 0 Comments

December is such a quiet month, with no major events to celebrate. The weather outside is cold and there's not much to do. What we need is a holiday. Something to liven things up.

So in the interest of sprucing up an otherwise-uninteresting month, I've decided to announce the creation of a new holiday.

Tribes: Ascend appreciation day. We'll celebrate it on Dec 25.

Now, I know that this conflicts with Isaac Newton's birthday, but since most people don't observe that holiday I think there's room for a second event on the day.

The actual day should be spent constructing functioning robots out of rhubarb and then blowing them up. Because that makes about as much sense as anti-gravity skis but also seems like a lot of fun.

The world of Tribes: Ascend contains very few trees, and we should respect this. In advance of the occasion, everyone should cut down as many trees as possible. I'm very pleased to announce that last December I saw many felled trees in public places and can only take this as a sign that Tribes: Ascend Appreciation Day is catching on.

I have no idea what steam groups are useful for

17 October, 2013 - Bingledorf Higgens Sr. | 0 Comments

...but now I have one.

...and you've joined it.

Congradulations.

...I guess? I don't know. What do you say to someone when they've joined a steam group?

"Beware of robot monkeys."

There. I said it.

Should I have bought a gift? Should you have? I'm not sure the ettiquitte is well established yet. Okay, I guess all customs have to start somewhere. I'm going to lick my elbows in the customary steam group welcome greeting.

Actually, no I'm not. I just tried. It's really hard to lick your elbows. Try it. See?

So licking elbows is out. I guess the customary greeting could be *attempting* to lick your elbows... but that seems a bit weird. Well, weirder.

I mean, are you really attempting to do something if you know it to be impossible? Sure, when you join your first steam group you'll attempt to lick your elbows. Just to fit in with the crowd. However, after that first attempt you'll know it can't be done - and after that you're not really attempting to do anything but hold your arm in an awkward pose and wiggle your tongue pointlessly. You'd be succeeding at that, but you're not really attempting to lick your elbow at that point. You're just attempting to have the appearance of someone attempting to lick their elbow.

I don't think that counts. Except for the first time, maybe.

I guess it would work if people could only join one steam group. We could call it the Elbow Lick Foreknowledge Conundrum Repetition Avoidance Policy (E.L.F.C.R.A.P.)

I wonder if valve would consider that as an enhancement? Please ban all users from joining multiple steam groups, due to the unwanted spread of insincere elbow licking attempts.

No, I guess not. Hmm.

Okay, how about this. Let's celebrate your new membership in this group with a secret handshake. No, I won't tell you what it is or it wouldn't be a secret, would it? Just shake your hands, you know, secretly.

Are they shaking?

Great. Now try to peel a grapefruit.

Pretty difficult, huh? Yet, still somehow easier than licking your elbows. Go figure.

Welcome to the group. Please make yourself at home.