Onboarding. Let’s talk about it.

When designing an new online product or platform, an inevitable question will be that of how to provide the most smooth and welcoming experience for new users. In the case of this platform, Substack, new authors are required to complete a checklist of steps in order to familiarize themselves with all of the platform’s benefits and features.

But us? We’re going to go against the grain. Substack wants us to write an introductory first post. And we will — but it’s going to be so devoid of purpose and thought that it will leave even the most fervent brain as dry as the Sahara.

What will that post contain? Nothing. Well, maybe some snark. Instead of short and sweet it will be short and useless.

And when do you get to read it? Now! You just did.

Sorry for wasting your time.