The Vigaligion Subculture

Marriage

starlightv — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 03:58:12 GMT

I'm marrying Jed! He proposed tonight! I'm getting married.

starlightv — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 03:57:10 GMT

Hi

Well being that I haven't updated my personal LJ in so long it might be over.

I still use LJ for communities and such. Otherwise it's whatever.

Follow me on Twitter. I'm Viga there.

Victoria Viga Gadson on Facebook.

Whats new

starlightv — Mon, 11 May 2009 23:44:27 GMT

I was out of anime for awhile. I divulged (if I'm using that right) into the world of indie comics. My collection has increased! Now I'm back in the anime and will watch Mazinger once the torrent is done!

I have a Twitter so if any LJ friends wanna follow my SN is Viga.

I think the honeymoon is over between me and Jed. It's not a bad thing but I guess it's just getting more real. But we are still sickening sweet over each other. You would gag over the details. It's less I love you and more pick up your damn underwear! But I love him so much! He thinks he's boring compared to me and is down on himself but I assure him how much I love him. Plus, when I'm a sad emo sack of self hating he cheers me up on the quick. What's sad is we give each other the same advice we gave the other when they were down. WE ARE WEIRD SAD PEOPLE! LOL!

I've been trying new things. I got into goth music a lot over the past 2 months and started going to the weekly events in DC. I tried Exposure but then they went monthly. I tried Midnight and LOVE IT! I want to go every Sat but I need to juggle it with hang with friends. They're not really into this sorta thing. Jonae is going to join me the weekend after next to try it out though. If successful she'll be my partner in dance! Ces refuses to go to a club until she's 21 which is in a few weeks. I'll buy her her first LEGAL beer. lol. Troy needs to get an ID so I can take her too! I think she'll like the darkwave/EBM aspect of the scene. It's like a rave with more trance and no glow sticks and all black. :P

I also found a place called Palace of Wonders. They have an open mic night. I'm not performing but I'll check it out. It's an oddities museum/ burlesque house. I REALLY wanna go to a burlesque night. ^_~ I love the style and I love the ladies.

I still miss Mom. I visited her recently. Not for moms day though. I just stayed in the house reading manga. I didn't want to do ANYTHING that day.

Work is worky.

Art is coming.

Trying out new wig styles. I love my purple wigs!

starlightv — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 02:35:45 GMT

Tomorrow is the lolita meet up! I'm goingto my first meet up!

I'm going to look hot in my punk loli! Plus I wont be super stared at because theres others like me.

Anyway, life's been up and down. Me and Jed had our year anniversary, I got fired from the 2nd job.

Things have been fun online. Chatting with some people from my fave forum on Ustream and drawing my webcomic.

Today!

starlightv — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 01:42:00 GMT

Today is the anniversary of my LJ! Hooray!

This is also the last podcast of WARP anime podcast. How sad! But I understand completely. I felt burn out but I didn't do anything I liked. I was depressed over things since Mom's death. I thought about ending, but I don't wanna. I still want to spread happy anime love (what the reagan strongblood!) and have fun. I have to admit, I also want to be known. I know I wont be famous or anything nor will I be Otaqueen. I wont be a writer for a mag or a con personality.

Hmmm. Maybe it's because in my life I'm thought as a lowly ugly girl. EMO ALERT! Nah, I got laughed at for no reason today by some black people. I wasn't wearing my goth loli or punk. Just a tee and pants since I was going to help move things. Maybe it's because I'm shitty looking or my BF who is not black. I was sad about it for awhile.

I wore my GL skirts and punk stuff last night. I should put it on the Fruits comm.

starlightv — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 05:13:22 GMT

I feel kinda better recently. I think Katsucon recharged my batteries and now I'm headstrong into the things I love. Really folks depression makes you not wanna do anything.

I started watching Bokurano and then started to marathon it unintentionally. Sigh. The animeness is back! I also started to watch Souleater and Fresh PreCure. A strange mix eh?

starlightv — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 23:37:47 GMT

My name is Victoria Gadson and I am 253 pounds. I am a fat bastard fangirl.

I need to change. I'm don't want to finally go to a college and be the fat girl. I want to wear cute clothes and not have to get custom made lolita dresses. I want to not fear wearing shorts and capris. I feel really depressed recently. Mostly having to do with Mom and the rest is my looks. I'm tired of my big boobs and stomach. I hate my wide feet. I hate my hair even. Really. I think I'm going to get it cut really short and dyed purple. I'll just wear normal wigs to work.

starlightv — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 13:56:50 GMT

So I heard LJ was on the verge of going under. Well I better download all my entries.

Anyway, so Matt and Ces are finally split up. FINALLY! He was being a dick and she could do better. It wasn't always this way and as much as I love my onichan it's for his on good that she dumped him. Oh well. They are both strong and will live although they are depressed right now. You shouldn't use your kid as an excuse to stay together.

Right when I had a second job it was taken from me due to hiring freezes on my first day of work! ARGH! I was depressed yesterday and the day before for mom related stuff.

Detroit Metal City turned things around a bit until I had to stay late at my 1st job. Seriously, I hate it.

starlightv — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 22:32:15 GMT

Going out with Jed tonight to a new restaurant. Buca de Beppo I think?

Anyway, have you eve found out some retro information that just burns you to your soul. A little meta into how someone really thought of you this whole time! That happened to me last week as I was looking at old bookmarks. Wow.

Also, I got info about my family members I didn't know was the truth or not. Let's just say appearances are deceiving and so is life when you are a child. For the first time I truly felt sorry for my twin cousins. There's something about me in an unrealated thing that Aunt Cherry wanted to tell me. What is it? Why couldn't she tell me while shopping. Oh the suspense.

starlightv — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 18:05:46 GMT

WRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!

To tell the truth....

starlightv — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 19:52:06 GMT

I am actually a time traveler that was sent to live in this plain to study for my masters thesis on the first 8 years past 2000 in america. I shall retrun to the year 4917 today.

Goodbye all of my friends.

heart disease

starlightv — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 15:25:33 GMT

So the autopsy came in. It was a mix of ambien and benadryl. On top of that heart disease. Her heart grew too big and it stopped. Mom never got checked for that. Plus she smoked 2 packs a day and most of her life. This could have been prevented. I could of still had my Mom.

Closure and Mom's funeral.

starlightv — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 02:01:50 GMT

Today was the funeral of my Mother. It was hard to do. I cried so many times. I had to endure my family for all the week too. Another feat that had to be done. They are some passive aggressive arses. Not all of them. A lot of them understood.

What scared me was that she was so cold and hard. So stiff too. I thought to myself that is not Mom. That is her body, a shell. My mother was a living beautiful person. That's how I will remember her.

I have so many regrets and none can be resolved. The only thing I can do is stay on that detective and get more information on the criminals. These guys who found her stole moms money and things knowing she was dead and didn't report it till much later. I will get my revenge.

I feel like I got a notch or two closer to my family then before. Before I just thought of my family as moms people. My only link to them was mom. Now that she is gone I have to link to them myself. I did this week. It was bittersweet in many ways. nice in others.

Jed was with me the whole time. I am grateful to him. I love him and Mom liked him as well. I want to marry him.

I wish mom could see me in the new special moments I will have. It hurts so much when I had to come to the realization that my mom is dead. I miss her and love her. I wish I could say sorry. I wish I can be forgiven. But I can't because she is dead. Why? Why the second youngest child. Why not the oldest?! I hate this. I have rage.

I got my closure today when we buried mother and I saw her go down. The second closure will be when I get those men. Plus the autopsy and toxicology.

starlightv — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 23:26:18 GMT

My mom died. My mom died. My mom died. I don't know what else to post. My mom is dead.

starlightv — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 19:22:19 GMT

Oh wow! A SECOND posting in a month. Not much to say here. I'm back to podcasting and regular life. I still feel a bit bad so I'm still at home. Work tomorrow morning though. AT 6 AM! Argh.

shy

starlightv — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 04:18:22 GMT

I had a chance to meet this awesome comic girl named Yuko who does awesome things 4 times over two weeks. I'm too shy. Add in the fact that Anath from Applegeek was with her. Add in the super fact that they are also cool FRC guys.

Shyness kills my life.

Anyway I went SPX and AUSA in the last two weeks. I finished the panels at AUSA successfully. My life is normal again. I live with my boyfriend, Jed. I eat cereal and work a job. I am a podcaster.

I am still a pussy inside although I became stronger.

I ran away from a portfolio review. I am sad. I am not an artist. I can't say I am a comicker untill I get over it.

kicked out

starlightv — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 02:55:56 GMT

I got kicked out of my moms house. Yeah. I'm gone. But now I live with my boyfriend Jed. It happened so fast. It's the second day now. We're moving stuff this weekend. It feels weird living somewhere without my family. It weird not to live with family. now i live with my lover Jed. I love him so much and he is helping me through this. It feels scary being on my own now. Mom gave me a bunch of food and toiletries.

I start a job next sunday. its down the street. the timing is perfect. I wish I didn't have to leave mom under these circumstances. It was a big fight that led to this. hmmmmmm. I hope that me and Jed can live happily. With Paulo too. he's our other roommate. Cyrus will be too if he ever comes back from NJ!

MY AMV PLAYLIST!

starlightv — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 15:35:41 GMT

wow it's been a month

starlightv — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 16:12:26 GMT

whats happened so far....

IM STILL UNEMPLOYED!

I failed at all interviews....
I fail at life.

I've been working as a cleaning lady to make money for Otakon. I'm definetly going. Jed got us a room at a B&B. So romantic.

I need more cash though.

I'm going to meet all my inter friends. Plus I miss my RL friends a lot. Hopefully we're hanging this Friday. I don't think I seen them all month.

Me and Jed got closer than ever and shared so many things with each other. Secret that only we know about each other. I love this guy. and....I might have some news....

When I find and job that pays some good money and save for a month or two, I will move in with him. We talked about it. I even told him the whole truth about me and how I am, was and might be. With his laid back self he told me it's okay and he truly wants to. Wow, it feel good to be all the way honest with him. He knows about me and mom and my past relationships and how i can get short tempered sometimes and stressed and crappy. Really he's worried about his age holding me back. We're 5 years apart. 22 and 27 doesn't seem like much but when we're 25 and 30 it seems like a decade. :P

Anyway all is cool. I gotta call Ces tonight. Last time I tlaked to her she was sick.

starlightv — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 12:48:58 GMT

It sucks to be me...

I'm still unemployed although I'm trying twice as hard as any of my friends and still nothing....for a month....GOT DAMMIT!

That and mom is started to get on me for choosing my dream of animation rather than be in the medical field like the majority of my family.

If Jed and the gang wasn't in my life I would die.

It happened again

starlightv — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 21:59:32 GMT

Got dammit! I though normal life would return. A new BF and a possible new job but the zombies are back. I survived last time but now I'm stuck at home. I decided to record one last goodbye in case I die.

http://www.archive.org/download/zoooooombies/MyLastwords.mp3
Fucking zombies.....

starlightv — Thu, 29 May 2008 03:00:49 GMT

Lost job. Im sad and feel like a loser. I hate going on interviews and searching. Sigh!

This means I can't go to MOCCA...or meet my comic idol Bryan Lee O'Malley! T_T

starlightv — Tue, 27 May 2008 05:24:26 GMT

Jed did something last night. I'm still in the affects of it. He sung this song to me while we listened to his CD.

In every heart there is a room
A sanctuary safe and strong
To heal the wounds from lovers past
Until a new one comes along

I spoke to you in cautious tones
You answered me with no pretense
And still I feel I said too much
My silence is my self defense

And every time I've held a rose
It seems I only felt the thorns
And so it goes, and so it goes
And so will you soon I suppose

But if my silence made you leave
Then that would be my worst mistake
So I will share this room with you
And you can have this heart to break

And this is why my eyes are closed
It's just as well for all I've seen
And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows

So I would choose to be with you
That's if the choice were mine to make
But you can make decisions too
And you can have this heart to break

And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows.

-"And So it Goes" by Billy Joel

He said he never trusted a girl fully before until now. Basically telling me how much he loves me and such. I was stunned and so happy but also scared. I afraid of hurting him so much. Im more afraid of fucking this up. Im afraid or creating another steve. Although I learned my lessons in the past and im a much better person and girlfriend in general. the responsibility of holding another heart is very important. Even though I earned it by being with him. Loving him. Being an honest girl. Being cool, geeky and awesome in general. I still feel like I don't deserved to have love and be happy. To live my life with him is like a dream. I told him this and he smiled. He assured me I don't have to worry. He has my heart as well.

I don't think I loved anyone like this before. More than the past ones. It just feels different. I cried that night. in his arms happily. Out of fear and greatfulness. I'm glad he's in my life too. Jed. Jed is the one for me. I love him so much. I only want him.

starlightv — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 20:01:35 GMT

I watching every single first episode of the spring season this week. At the end I will tire of anime a bit. So I have sci fi ready just for that occurrence!

I should post more

starlightv — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 14:11:03 GMT

I should really post more. I just don't because I'm lazy as fuck.

Oh well. In short what's been up in my life.

New guy is so cool and geeky and win. We contrast just as much as we complement each other. It's never boring that way. He's way way WAY smart and reads a lot. It kinda makes me nervous because I wish I could keep up with him in the brains. I hate looking or being stupid. It's a fear of mine for people to think I'm stupid. I'm so proud of him. He's so silly and funny like me though. I could relax.