STARBAGE

i am writing this post right after waking up fromn a nap so we'll see how articulate i can be.

i released the demo for Subtractive Runemixer a couple of days ago! i am happy. of course i haven't had any insane huge reponse yet or anything, but that's for a few reasons i think.. first off, Noise Jam 2 got like 60+ entries, so there's alot of other stuff to play too. Speaking of I've played a few of them and they've been peak. i should really figure out some way to display games i enjoy on this website because i can't see myself having the mental fortitude or energy to write a description on everything i play. i play a lot of indie projects, lol.

but, yeah. i feel like a huge weight has been pulled off of me, but also like i have been put in some kind of stasis. I am anxious for more people to see the game, but i also don't want TOO many people ot see it lest they have their fill of my work and then don't want to play the final game when i finish it in, like... whenever mixed media jam ends. 3 months from now? i'm trying to finish it before then. i don't know if i will but im going to try. LOL.

i also jsut think putting it out there might have kneecapped my motivation to work for a bit because i put out a thing people can look at now. i have given myself early gratification... i might also just be fucking tired and need a little break. lol. it's hard to say for certain, my motivation ebbs and flows so unpredictably. we'll just have to see what happens.

something that's been fun to play around with is difficulty. i enjoy making obtuse things although sometimes i undercut this desire because i also feel bad watching people struggle. I find the puzzles in submix pretty satisfying though i've been told they might filter some people out (it was said with a positive intention, by someone who enjoyed them). rpgmaker games are kind of known to be batshit in this regard so perhaps i am returning to my roots? though i think what i make is alittle more logical than some of the classics, lol. i dunno. it's fun to make a "game-ass game" as i've been calling it. Usually i am a narrative crafter but i actually get stuck on those quite often-- with submix a lot of the text in the demo didn't actually get written until a couple days before release! nobody has complained but there are a few snags with it that bother me and i will probably update them in the future. wah. who knows.