Mismatch

So, the way I feel about this person (Awesome Hair Guy is the nickname I’ve used for him before, I think)  is a way I’d describe as finding him attractive in a sexual way.
But there aren’t actually any sexual acts that I can imagine wanting to do with him.
So like…
Is this fantasy-interests vs real-life interests?
Is this sex vs non-sexual kinky things?
Something else?
Or not actually sexual attraction?

DISK PERMISSIONS

Does having to use that phrase ever indicate something good is going to happen?

I swear those words cause me visceral horror at this point.

I had to restore my computer from my backup disk because of some implacable error in my password-managing program, which decided to stop prompting me for my main password and instead refuse to release my information under any circumstances. It persisted in this despite the best efforts of tech support, including but not limited to the DISK PERMISSIONS-related strategy.

I suggested the backup after Tech Support Person’s third idea either deleted all my stored passwords or hid them extremely well; Tech Support Person was very relieved.

Rambling about polyamory 3

Just kind of broke my brain by trying to imagine what would have happened to my relationship with Sparkly if I hadn’t been open to polyamory.

Anyway.

Recently I saw someone talking about how they didn’t experience “compersion” (vicarious happiness when your partner is happy about their other relationship/s) at first, and had to struggle to develop it– their word. And I don’t want to criticize anyone else’s way of doing things, but that really weirds me out. My gut reaction is “why would you be polyamorous if you don’t experience that?”

And that led to the above, because… I do think that polyamory has good points, it has advantages, it makes sense to me on an intellectual level as well as an emotional one, but I didn’t become polyamorous by an intellectual decision. It’s kind of hard for me to imagine how that works, why someone would make that decision if they’re not emotionally drawn to it, how it could be a healthy decision and not an excessively difficult and self-denying one if you have to struggle to be happy about it.

Sparkly is going to start taking ballet classes, after many years without. Ey and I stretched together tonight, and I hope we can make a habit of doing that. The happy moment of the day: ey can now sit up straight with eir legs straight out in front of em. Ey didn’t used to be flexible enough to do that. Maybe eir gymnastics classes have helped?

Eventually I’m going to write something more about Redliners, but not tonight. I spent the whole day captioning, and I’m very tired. I actually really liked the movie I was working on, to my surprise. It looked like a very formulaic romance movie at first, but it mashed a bunch of different tropes together in an interesting way, and there was some impressive acting.

I’m just glad I’m not the only one who thinks that person drives really fast and really aggressively. Otherwise I’d be wondering if I was just excessively gentle with my braking.