Some words spoken to us enter the foggy cavern of the memory and silently sparkle there. Mute mysteries that glimmer in the dust.

Floating particles that, upon being touched by the sun, are remembered – they demand our attention once more.

Remember me?

You acknowledge the whisper from the corner of your eye.

When it is time…

When it is time.

You continue your steps journeying life’s labyrinth until you are ready to meet their gaze. Until the hide-and-seek game is complete, and you are prepared to embrace one another.

~*~

In accordance with divine timing + circumstance, such words were shared with me ~two years ago.

I had been in an exchange of tremendous depth with a woman who had been in my family’s orbit for many years.

My memory of her was extremely murky; I was ~five years old, with my mom, dad, sister, grandparents, her and her sister.

I can’t exactly remember what she looked like. A bit short, a bit round, a wavy bob.

I remember her energy as a bit removed + detached but carefully observing. One of those that pays keen attention to the undercurrents.

At twenty-seven, she found me by way of my blog. She reached out to me to express how much she appreciated my writing and way of thinking.

I was in the midst of quite an adventure when she initially contacted me. It was not until a couple months later that I responded and we began talking consistently.

Our email exchanges were lengthy and heavily laced with esoteric, therapeutic nuances. We were highly compatible in our inherent inclination toward seeking + touching a deeper layer to life.

Her acute intuition rested at the root of a language that many were unable to comprehend. Her ability to see layers underneath layers underneath layers led her to a mostly solitary life. She did not seem upset about this. She seemed more frustrated that others interpreted her communication as a threat.

We understood each other very well.

For three months, we emailed and had three phone calls. She had written she was sick, but it wasn’t until I heard that blasphemous cough I recognized how severe it was. Despite this, my hopeful heart believed it was something that would pass.

It was that third month, October of 2024, she passed.

Shock and confusion ensued.

How could she leave like that? How could she leave so quickly? So abruptly?

I held vigil for her and felt her near. She comes to me often, especially when I have the tarot deck out. The thing I appreciate most about her is her trust in me to lead my own way. Never telling me what to do. Just reflecting back the wisdom that already exists within me. Often it is revealed in the cards.

~*~

Back to those mute glimmers.

Her last email to me was the one that left me most perplexed. It was so simple, but it carried a potent charge.

I occasionally comb through our string of letters, and it is always this one that stirs something in my spirit.

Not until very recently have I recognized that this was my introduction to alchemy.

The balance of opposites.

The separation for reorganization.

The way of discovery + refinement.

The path of the apprentice + the wayshower.

The mote of mystery becoming the pearl of wisdom.

“When the student is ready, the teacher appears. When the student is really ready, the teacher disappears.”

Lao Tzu

And so goes the spiral cycle of life.

Between student + teacher; between dust + pearl.

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