For the past three days Kate has been sleeping on your couch. As for why a small green hummingbird woman was sleeping in the space where you usually sat and enjoyed a stiff drink after a long day's work, your darling wife Beth took her in after her boyfriend was found feather-to-fanny with her roommate, another hummingbird. Your darling wife, bless her heart, could not fight her hawkish instincts to help her best friend. So now, you're sitting on the opposite side of the couch with an old fashioned in your left hand, rather than you're right, Beth is in her usual position on the middle cushion leaned up against you with her beak on your shoulder. Ah yes, tonight's program is “How I met your Mother(s)" about a wolf dude accidentally marrying into a traditionalist sheep family and winding up with 12 wives. It's not really “quality entertainment" but it's a good excuse to enjoy an evening with the wife. Which was being quietly interrupted by the quiet muffled sobs of the weeping hummingbird. While you trust Beth's judgment, it doesn't make Kate any quieter. 

             You're tempting to say something, but before you even open your mouth Beth cuts you off. “Don't even think about it Dave." She says in her soft evening voice. “I know you fix problems, but this one isn't one any amount of math or logic will fix." She whispers. Heeding her advice, you continue to watch as Jasper E. Fang goes on a drunken adventure after only two cans of a light beer.

             “You know, it's always funny how they show wolves as super prone to getting drunk. Like two beers? C'mon, a big wolf like him should be able to handle at least four, if not five before getting to that point." You say jokingly trying to see if conversation will get the weeping bird to do something other than make the couch mildew prone. Beth shoots you an awkward glance from her chin's perch on your shoulder. “Look, I'm trying not to ask for details or provide “Dave's Advice". You testify

             Beth gets up off the couch, grabs your hand, and pulls you up. “C'mon big guy, let's get out of here and give the girl some space." She suggests ulterior motives dripping off her beak as she makes her hand sign for “Let's get Takeout".

             With a quick nod, the two of you hurriedly put on coats, lock the doors to the house, and go into the not terribly cold, but very windy, streets of Mobile. Stepping out reminded you why you chose to live in Mobile over Montgomery, the quiet. Aside from the distant I-10 and Port, Mobile was shockingly quiet for a city on the Gulf Coast. You walk down the sidewalk free street of your neighborhood, getting out and to the main boulevard of the suburb. Outside the neighborhood the sidewalk begins and the wind comes down upon the two of you with. For 7pm on a Friday night, the roads were dead quiet, with the odd car passing. In the distance the glow of the nearest shopping center becomes clear and clearer, the Randall's sign, and across the street from it, in a much more run-down line of shops, was “Lucky Dragon Wok" a hole in the wall the two of you had long since been regulars of.

             “Alright honey, give me the tea while it's still hot, why is Kate now living with us rather than her downtown apartment?" You ask. “Aside from her boyfriend fluffing her roommate's feathers." You clarify.

“Fine." Beth concedes. “So, as you know, Kate is nearing thirty just like us two and was with Carlos for like eight years, which you already knew, but Kate's mom, Cathy, wants to be a grandma almost more than anything else, and unlike my mother, she literally put all of her eggs in one basket." Beth states. “You see Cathy wants Kate to forgive Carlos, but Carlos is now fully with Maria, and are living together in that apartment. Cathy won't have an unwed, single, and childless thirty-year-old daughter, and we have four spare bedrooms." Beth explains, expressing mild ire at that last bit. “Now, as to why us, over say Jasmine, or Lizzy, is that we're like five minutes from her office." Beth finishes, her golden eyes focused on the buildings still about a mile away.

             “Here I was thinking you had some grand plan; you could've texted me Tuesday when it was happening you know? And you said a bedroom? I'm not sure she's left the couch aside to go cry in the bathroom and grab more wine." You gripe.

             “Look I know it's been a stressful week, but I'm just trying to help out my best friend." Beth pleads. “But I'm she'll be helpful around the house soon enough, she's in a rough spot right now and could use the help." She continues.

             You can feel your face redden. “You know I'm not going to throw her out right? She can keep crying in the house as long as she doesn't ruin anything in the process, it's not like she's occupying the nursery or costing me money." You remark, trying to save face from.

Even in the dim street lights you can see your wife's eyes roll. “Yeah I know, plus if anyone it would be me who does it, we were supposed to put in our “vacation" requests today, but now that isn't going to happen." She gripes. “Not that I'm mad at her, but we had just finished the nursery." She says, you know by the look in her eyes, that she's begging to add And now we have to wait to fill it. Such has been your married life with Beth always marching towards the inevitable full nest, but facing a mountain of setbacks along the way.

Soon the two of you are at the “Lucky Dragon Wok" inside are a number of Asian anthros and humans, and a minority of the rest of the folks of Mobile. The entire place smells of meat and oriental spices. Inside the relatively cramped store are perhaps fifteen odd patrons and two people working the counter with an unknown number of staff in the kitchen milling about. No particular species stands dominant above another in numbers, there's about two humans, yourself included, a very rare chinese dragon, three avians none of whom are of the same variety, and a handful of varying mammals, reptiles, and the like. Silently, though not awkwardly, the pair of you go up to the counter and wait for one of the workers to come and take your order. Today you're feeling like Chow Mein with Chicken, but Kung Pao Beef also sounds really good.

“I'm gonna get some egg rolls and the Cantonese Chow Mein, I'll leave Kate's order to you Dave." She states, her tail moving excited behind her.

You feel a smile grow across your face. It's refreshing to see that tail moving again, after her first job at a hospital pharmacy you'd fret it'd never wag again, but now that she's part-time at an independent one, she has much more space to work in. Finally a worker comes to take the register. “Wat you wan?" The Dragon his voice heavy with an asian accent of a sort.

“I'll have the Cantonese Chow Mein, an order of eggrolls, chow mein with chicken, and kung pao beef." You answer. “Oh, and if you have any fresh almond cookies, an order of that as well." You finish.

“So one Cantonese Chow Mein, one Chow Mein Chicken, one Kung Pao Beef, Eggwoll, and Almon Cockie, Yes?" The Dragon-man repeats.

“Yep." Replies Beth while you reach for your wallet.

“That be foorty five dollar siccty sewen." The man says, reaching out his hand and half snatching  and take out your card.

“That be for tee dollasick-tea." The dragon says, taking your card.

“Almond cookies? Are you trying to fatten me up?" Beth squeaks excitedly.

“Fatten? No, no, soon I hope you'll be eating for two." You sat nonchalantly with a smile.

Beth opens her beak to say something, surely sarcastic, but holds her hawken tongue. “You're the same as when I met you." She says, a happy chirp to cut the sarcasm. 

\

You shrug “Maybe so." You answer. “You mind if we take a table while we wait?" You turn to ask the Dragon who shrugs with indifference.

Taking your seats across from each other. In earnest the only physical trait the two of you shared was the humanoid shape. Where you had a stubble covered mouth, she had a long brown beak, your deep green eyes, and her light golden ones. While you had skin and hair, she was covered in beak and in feathers. Looking down, where you have a mostly flat muscular chest on a slim male frame, she had moderately-sized breasts attached to a normal sized female frame. Though you could not see it now, underneath your windbreakers, you have a slowly growing amount of body hair, and she is covered with the same soft down. Part of you wonders how much her top half will change come her inevitable entrance to motherhood, though the same question is one you seldom think of when it comes to your entrance to fatherhood.

That final internal question launches you into starting the conversation. “You know, I recall your mom saying that when you do lay your clutch you'll start cooking like her, and I for one, cannot wait to see if that's true." You poke.

The golden balls in Beth's head roll. “Next thing I know you'll be dressing in button downs on weekends and smoking meats like your old man." Beth retorts.

Grinning you return with: “Well darling, are you telling me you've got a problem with me assuming the role of McLovin family pitmaster?" You ask jokingly.

Beth cocks her head. “Pitmaster? Honey, if you're trying to get that title we need to make a pit STOP at your parent's." She mocks.

The two of you joke about aspects of life until you get your food brought to you in two white plastic bags in white styrofoam containers two to the bag. Taking them in your hands you leave, your hawkish bride getting the door for you. As soon as you've left the white LED floodlights of the strip center Beth shifts the joking to something a little more, close to home. “So, Mr. McLovin, remember, when we get home we need to make sure the Ms. Smormu under our roof feels comfortable, so-" She stops herself.

“So don't remind her about her plans to be a Mrs. Goodman, and how Ms. Jonson ruined it." You finish. Staring back at a very pleased Beth. “But I'm getting first pick of the food then." You say sarcastically.

“And you'll have it." Beth pumps with faux outrage before moving to lock her arm in yours for the walk home. The street is just as quiet, though the smell of five spice, garlic, and fried meat fills your nose each time a car passes, reversing the almost unnoticeable breeze. Not much if anything is said, at least nothing you remember when you find yourself watching Beth shake her tail feathers as she unlocks the door.

She hesitates before opening the door but does so anyway. “Hey Kate, we got dinner while we were out. Come join us, you need to eat, and laying on the couch all day will just give you bedsores." She calls out to the hummingbird. She's met with something so muffled you can't hear. Beth quietly sighs and moves out of sight. You go into your home after determining that Beth has clearly gone to tend to Kate, set down the food on the island in the kitchen, and go to your office, totally not to load up City Skylines before going back to the open kitchen-living room area. You get a sharp look from Kate, but it quickly fades when she realizes that some news channel is on. She has somehow actually coaxed Kate from the couch and to the island counter where the food lay. The small hummingbird barely stood that her eyes were maybe an inch or so above the countertop. Even among your own species, Beth and you were tall, and with the idea of children in mind, everything was designed slightly larger than that of the average stock of folk. When you think about it, Kate must feel like she's a child in the house of two giants, though it may actually help her mindset, at least, so you think.

Expecting Kate to choose whichever one of the three boxes you subconsciously want, but instead goes for Kate's box. “Cantonese Stir Fry! How'd you know that was my favorite!" She half-hearty cheers before bee-lining towards the silverware drawer. Beth glares at the shimmering green bird, but then turns to you pleading with her large golden eyes. You shrug and she snatches up the chicken Chow Mein and heads towards the office, with you following after snatching two forks, some napkins, and your Kung Pao beef. You carefully shut the door and with an excited ruffling of Beth's tailfeathers, you lock the door and move the curtain to cover the glass. Sitting upon your spinning leather throne, with your darling queen sitting beside you on her own leather throne you eat, quietly discussing the matter of Kate. The two of you decide that Kate will remain welcome here, but she will have to go back to work, and move into one of the guest rooms, rather than sleeping on the couch like some sort of wash out.

After the main source of conflict has been discussed the two of you go back to your usual evening activity, listening to “Last Son of Seebug" as an audiobook, and jointly designing a perfect city in the video game. Halfway through the real entertainment begins, with her now sitting on your lap and somewhere along the way you'd lost your shirt, belt, and socks, and she had lost everything but her bra and panties. Your right hand was between the computer mouse and rubbing the soft down across her belly, and when yours wasn't absent mindedly managing the fake city of Huhawkaman, her clawed hand was. This had been the usual evening for the two of you since college, mostly naked, but not quite, just enjoying the unique feelings of each other. When the two of you were still young and neither of you had fully pulled in your libidos. However, as time moved on, you were the first to come to enjoy the peace of skin on feathers. Seeming to read your mind Beth stares back up at you. 

“You know Dave, it isn't skin and feathers, it's thin fur on feathers." She chuckles.

Playfully you reach down and clasp her curved beak shut. “I'm not a wolf, nor a bear, not even a rat or monkey, I am a proud ape without fur." You say jokingly quoting a line of “Of Human Society and Its Future". You say before letting go

Beth's eyes fill with something mischievous. “You know, my mother told me I was destined to make a man happy when I would be married, but said I would also make my ancestors weep while doing so." She says, the soft pads of her hands now sliding with nefarious intention across your chest. She leans up to whisper in your ear “You know I always wondered what she meant, but I understand as I will be thirty in less than a year and childless, and you are already thirty and childless. Soon, soon though both of us will make our parents stop asking about something life keeps throwing wrenches in." She finishes with a playful beaked pinch on your ear.

You can feel your eyes roll as she begins to slide her talons underneath the band of your underwear. Her talons are cool on the skin, while her scaled and padded hand is warmer than yourself. As you look at the door you see the shadowed shape of Kate and immediately tense. With that you can feel Beth hesitate and pull her hand back. She looks up at you expectantly  “Wrong time honey, plus that pear shaped shadow in the door appears to be our guest." You whisper. Beth glares at the shadow. “What's one more wrench, right?" You whisper.

You can clearly see Beth's golden eye twitch. “One more, just one more, but just because it couldn't pick its men properly doesn't mean I need to wait." She grumbles.

Seeing the anger, “I'll take care of it honey, you just cool off." You say while zipping your pants up. You approach the door button your shirt all the while. Soon, You open the door to find the small green hummingbird waiting. “Can I help you?" You ask. 

“I-I-I-I wanted to know where the toilet paper is. The bathroom seemed almost out." She stammers. You go to the laundry room, Kate following. You grab a roll from the shelf above the laundry machines and give it to Kate.

“There you go, and now you know where it is." You say, trying to mask your frustration. Going back to Beth, the two of you decide to go relax in the bedroom and sleep. Before you manage to dose off, you remember the almond cookies. Come morning, they were gone.

The next night the same shadow appeared in the door and again did the mood die with a question you're sure you had answered before.