Chapter 98: Possession
There was but one more round of practice for the week, and then the fox could have the wolf all to himself. It was that idea that at least he entertained himself with in his head.
Roger sat on the bleachers as he had done previously. The cold iron that he sat atop had sent chills through him at first, but he had acclimated to the temperature. That, or he gave up his fight against it.
There were a few more bystanders watching the team play. It seemed that most recently the attendance had picked up, especially with the improved performance of the wolf, and as a consequence, the rest of the team. It seemed that in the past week it was all meshing well together.
A few female attendants on the side were gossiping, and while they tried to mask their whispers and giggles, the fox could hear them plainly. They said many a lewd comment, all of them related to the football players. It seemed that they had taken a more recent liking to the star player, or perhaps they merely worked up the courage to finally stalk him.
He looked at where their fingers indicated, and it shrugged. There was the star shining brightly. Roger could almost see the preferential treatment dripping off of him. The adoration was practically palpable.
They players got into their positions to resume practice. It was a play that the fox recognized, as he had practice it before when the wolf had been ousted from the team. He could identify at least a few of the players, though most of them were still unknown to him. The group formed familiar shapes, and then it scattered.
There was still gossip, and the girls still pointed, making sure that the others knew just what they had their sights set on.
Roger watched the players run around, he watched the ball fly through the air, and he could almost feel the hit when one of the players caught it, and when another slammed into him. He sighed. Part of him wanted to play again.
He saw Hunter moving between the players. It was odd. He seemed to stand out now. He seemed to be brighter, happier. Perhaps it was because of the attachment that the fox carried for the wolf. Perhaps it was because the wolf, himself, was happier.
He noticed that some of the fingers that pointed were pointing not to the star player, but to the wolf. Upon realizing this, Roger blushed and furrowed his brows. A bit of jealousy snuck into his heart, and perhaps possessiveness. He attempted to cast it off, but now it was almost as if their voices had amplified.
They spoke of his body, his movements, his tone of voice. It was the way he improved recently that caught their attention. What a dumb wolf he was, they had said. They never thought he would get anywhere, but now he was doing so well. Now they saw what they did not want to see.
He felt a sort of pride in knowing that it was him that Hunter had, and not them. He knew it was not something he should hold over their heads, but it made him feel at least a little satisfied.
He continued watching the game, and they continued their chatter. They hypothesized about how he would look without clothes, and one said that she had managed to see him in a towel while peeking in the locker room. Another speculated that for such a big guy, under his garments might prove to be proportional to his size. Another speculated the opposite. Perhaps he was on steroids, she said.
Roger felt a pang of anger build up, but he kept calm. He wanted to correct them on their false views, but it would be harder for him to explain why he even knew the truth, or why he had been eavesdropping in the first place. He let them talk, but he knew the reality of the situation. He knew, and took pride in that at least, that they did not know.
Practice ended after a few minutes. It was never really long, but it was always arduous. A rigorous physical exercise routine followed by some drills, and then they were let loose to do as they liked, which usually ended up being more drills.
He saw Hunter on his approach from the field, and the girls quickly got up and fled. Roger smiled to himself when he noticed it.
The wolf was talking to some of the fellow players. It seemed now he was becoming friendly with the others, or perhaps it was the opposite. The ferret was there. Roger made sure to greet him as he walked past the bleachers.
Hunter fell behind and let the others go to the locker room. He stood there, holding his helmet, staring at the fox with a smile and a wave of his tail. He panted and the fox could see he was weary, but he also saw that he was happy.
Any of the anger and jealousy that he had felt faded away. He smiled back, got out of his seat in the bleachers, and they walked toward the locker room. As was the usual action thus performed, the fox waited outside as the wolf went inside to shower, change, and put his gear in his bag.
It did not take long for the females to come around the corner nonchalantly, but when they saw him, they kept walking. Apparently they were attempting to sneak a peek at the changing players. With his newly acquired knowledge, he knew their target.
The wolf came out after they left. Roger quickly gave him a hug, as he was sure there were no eyes about. A lick across the cheek followed, and was returned.
"What was that for?" the wolf asked him.
Roger shook his head. "Nothing in particular, I'm just glad."
The wolf tilted his head. "About what?"
The fox smiled. "That I have you."
They departed.
I don't know if it'd be worth the money. It'd pretty much just be a fruitless investment since I'm pretty much a no-name. Maybe when I get some extra money I can get someone to put it on paper, but I think my revenue is going to be negative long-run wise.
I don't know anything really about the publishing process, and I don't know any publishers. I wish there was more of a market for this kind of stuff. I just feel like you should get more out of your work than some votes up and a couple comments.
I don't know. I can try, but I won't hold my breath. I still have so much to go for this story, that if I did publish it now, I'd have to cut it somewhere in the middle, and it would pick up in kind of an odd area. Perhaps after I end this arc, I can finish it and submit it somewhere, but if I decide to continue writing about Hunter and Roger, it will have to be under a different title and it would pretty much be starting a new project. It's a possibility, and I have the ideas in my head, but the determination to put pen to paper is as the ebb and flow of the tides. Also I'm finishing up with some of my training, and I may just get deployed, then I'll have to go on hiatus for a while, possibly forever in the worst case scenario.
Such is the reality of the situation, though. We can look at the numbers and try to judge it that way: I have x amount of watchers, y amount of people subscribed to this folder in particular, and z amount of people that actually respond to the story. The amounts different so drastically, I can never be sure of how many people are actually interested, instead of pressing a button and departing. The number, however, is probably under 50. How many of 50 would actually purchase a hard copy of something they've already read? Perhaps 10 or so. To make it available to the public, maybe the number would go up, but how could I draw in other potential readers?
I've thought of getting an illustration, as if for the cover. Words and lines and written art, great. They can be flowery, they can be figurative, they can hold all of the life lessons you'll ever need, but in the end a picture will still attract a wider audience in an instant than all of the hundreds of thousands of words I've put on paper. A cover might not be so bad, but will it ever truly represent what I've envisioned? Would I condemn the audience to envision the scenes and characters the same way I do?
A friend of mine has tried, and I really should put it up, but the same problems are omnipresent. While I love his artwork, and he did a fair job taking the idea of the story and turning it into a visual piece (which would go through a lot of interpretation, of course, since it is kind of long at this point), I don't know if it fully represents what I want it to represent. That being said, the problem stems from whether or not I want it to be the symbol that one would associate with this story, though I appreciate that he at least tried.
And if I did get it published, it would need an illustrator at least for the cover, on that note. Who would want to pick up a book with merely a title as the cover, flip through it and see blocks and blocks of words? Perhaps they'll read the synopsis and be interested, but it really requires that first, attention grabbing image. In the end, everything I can say and do, everything that I write and will ever write, is insignificant and petty and trite in comparison to any visual art, for the message will never be relayed to those that never read it (whereas with a painting or picture, interpretations are many, varied, and instant. It only takes but a glance).
A moment of honesty here, though I am always honest, I must emphasize that I am always taken by surprise that anyone reads anything that I've put up, and that the amount that do read at least this story far exceeds any expectations I've ever had. It's a pleasant surprise, surely, but I can't let it cast the illusion that my work is of the quality required to kill a tree, so to speak. Kind words, adulation and adoration, but in the end all I have is doubt, and that will always remain.
Not to say I don't appreciate the readers I have, though. I really do, and thank you, and all of those that have read my project and this comment, which has become sort of a project, for the attention that you've given it. It does bring me some joy to see that my story has brought joy to others.
Aside from that, I know a few of you have mentioned that the end is drawing near for the story, and I'm just going to say there is still quite a bit before that will happen. Everything ends, but Hunter and Roger still have quite a few more things to get through before this story does. I originally had planned it to merely be but a school year, and now I'm planning it to be for the entire High School experience, unless I decide to do something vicious and mean to one or both of them. Assuming they're still alive by the end, whether or not I continue into their lives after High School is in the air. The future is uncertain, but I do control their world. Armageddon and mercy are at my fingertips for them, and I've yet to decide.
I have a huge test in half an hour, anyway. Today's chapter will be delayed, if not until later, then by tomorrow, possibly.