Night of the undead sue (story in description)
For those of you who don't get this.. here: http://myimmortal.wikia.com/wiki/Ebony_Dark'ness_Dementia_Raven_Way
and I'd just like to point this out, yes Ebony's arms look like noodles, that was the point, same with her comically large chest
Alright, lets get this started
It was a very dark night. It wasn't stormy though..only a little snowy.. a figure walked through the darkness, a grey and black fox. Despite it being VERY cold out, he wasn't wearing a jacket. He was kind of stupid that way...
"Ugh! Disadvantage number 1552 of being a drifter... the cold..." he mumbled to himself.
He was also unbelievably bored, his mp4 player (no it wasn't an i-pod) had died, and he had no way to charge it. His apprentice Leonard was also in the next town waiting for him, so he had no one to talk to.
"Ugh.. I never thought I'd say this but.. I wish I had someone to talk to..." he said to himself.
Almost as if his wish had been answered, he looked up and saw the silhouette of a young woman walking up the road.
"Oh god yes!!" He said to himself "Social activity!! Haha!!" he ran up to her but slowed down as he began seeing more of her, she was dressed in almost all black, and had red and blueish purple highlights in her hair. She turned around and saw him glaring at her, she walked over to him
"Uhhh..." was the only noise he could mutter. As she turned all he saw was a face caked in make up and breasts that were WAAAYYYYY too big to be natural.
Her eyes lit up as she saw him, she opened her mouth and prepared to speak, what would she say? What could it be? Josh never expected anything like this..
"LOLZ!!11 U R WREAING ALEL BALCK CLOVES!! U MSTUE BEI GOFFICK!!"
Josh had realized who the person was immediately, he had heard legends about her, but he never thought he would encounter her for real...
"Ebony...." Was all he muttered
She was quick to respond " Leik miy nmae is Ebony D'arkness Dementia Rave.err Tara..err no Raven way...! Weshould goo toe hottopixs lolzz".
She was just as insufferable as the legends said.. No.. even more insufferble... Josh was literally at a loss for words, except for once single phrase
"What .. The f**K?"
Ebony suddenly turned violent "STPU PREPPZ!!! GERD WAYY IZS SMEXY LIKE BI-GUIYZ!!" She then calmed down a bit and looked at Josh
"I btz ur bi sincee ur goffick, u wnna do iet?"
Josh was about to hurl, not only was he not interested in women, but the thought of locking lips with this one was just gag provoking, the legends say she slept around with at least three or four different ruined versions of harry potter characters, and her openness to having intercourse with him clearly indicated that she must have slept around with plenty more guys (and maybe girls given how fascinated she was with bi sexuality, she probably pretends to be one)
"No way!!!" he exclaimed loudly "I'm NOT bi! Nor am I 'goffick'! And even if I was I wouldn't do you! Ever!"
Ebony's eyes flashed in anger "STFU YOU LOOZER PREP!!!!!"
Suddenly, a bright light flashed, suddenly Josh was wearing all "goffick" clothes, and suddenly felt like pretending to be bi sexual, he felt depressed over the silliest things, and could only think about MCR, he let out out a soft, "call me Blud..." A voice echoed in the back of his head that sounded like Ebony narrating, her tendency to screw up her words made it evident it was her voice
"I looked into Bluds eyees tht revaled so much deprssed evil, he blinkd sexly as I walked towrds him. "Oh Enoby! lt me put my thingi intoo ur uknowwhat so we can have SEX!!"" (c is dat stupid?)"
Ebony and...ermm. "Blud" waked towards each other as the narration continued
"Blud was acltullli a vampur whoo was kdnaped as a bby and rised by morgn lol, asloo he wuz bi and luved MCR"
It seemed that somehow she had snapped Josh's sanity with her sheer suepidity (like stupidity but with Sue in it... CLEVER!!!!) he was at her will.. but suddenly.. Just as there lips where about to meet, a familiar voice echoed in his head
"Master!! You must break free!!" He screamed.. It was.. Josh's apprentice Leonard the crow, the wake up call from reality had somehow helped free him, like something familiar reminded him of who he really was. He was able to will himself free thanks to Leonard's intervention. One he returned to seeing the world through his own eyes as opposed to Ebony's vision of what she thought he should see, he saw Leonard using a spell to restrain her.
"**** PREEPSEZ!! Ur goff poser corwe gui!!" She screamed as he did so.
Leonard turned to Josh and shouted "Master!! Quick! Kill her while she's still restrained!!"
"Umm. duh!! I r vampire! only certain things call kil uss!!" She said, as she would put it "sexily"
Josh looked at her and smirked" If you were in control maybe, but I'm free again.. YOUR rules of writing, continuity and what not don't apply here! By this wolds standards, Your not a vampire! Your a goth with a blood fetish!"
Ebony snapped "STFU PREEPZ!! IF YOU NO LIKEE THE STORY THEN GO F** URSLFE!!" Josh laughed in response and stared at her point blank "You've never displayed any kind of vampiric power, I mean, if you had them, even you would have been smart enough to use them on me while you had the chance.. But nope.. Your just another run of the mill..."
he made his sword, night blade appear and exclaimed "--MARY SUE!!" as he impaled her. She let out a loud wail and then vanished like a bad memory, or the last cookie (still trying to find out who took it) Leonard looked at his master with a smile
"Good thing I found you, I went looking for you when you didn't meet up with me on time."
Josh looked and laughed" Leave it to you to be the punctual
one" Leonard smiled and began walking with his master as Night Blade piped up "M'lord, can we please hurry onto the next town, I can practically feel the AIDS just from the blood on me, I need to wash it off" Both Leonard and Josh laughed.
"Sure, lets hurry along" Josh said as he began to speed up
"Wait master!" said Leonard as he stopped Josh, he put down his bag as Josh stopped and looked back at him. Leonard pulled a jacket out of his bag and gave it to his master "There, now you won't catch your death of cold!" he exclaimed. Josh smiled and the two (plus the sword of course) traveled to the next town...
the end
and I'd just like to point this out, yes Ebony's arms look like noodles, that was the point, same with her comically large chest
Alright, lets get this started
It was a very dark night. It wasn't stormy though..only a little snowy.. a figure walked through the darkness, a grey and black fox. Despite it being VERY cold out, he wasn't wearing a jacket. He was kind of stupid that way...
"Ugh! Disadvantage number 1552 of being a drifter... the cold..." he mumbled to himself.
He was also unbelievably bored, his mp4 player (no it wasn't an i-pod) had died, and he had no way to charge it. His apprentice Leonard was also in the next town waiting for him, so he had no one to talk to.
"Ugh.. I never thought I'd say this but.. I wish I had someone to talk to..." he said to himself.
Almost as if his wish had been answered, he looked up and saw the silhouette of a young woman walking up the road.
"Oh god yes!!" He said to himself "Social activity!! Haha!!" he ran up to her but slowed down as he began seeing more of her, she was dressed in almost all black, and had red and blueish purple highlights in her hair. She turned around and saw him glaring at her, she walked over to him
"Uhhh..." was the only noise he could mutter. As she turned all he saw was a face caked in make up and breasts that were WAAAYYYYY too big to be natural.
Her eyes lit up as she saw him, she opened her mouth and prepared to speak, what would she say? What could it be? Josh never expected anything like this..
"LOLZ!!11 U R WREAING ALEL BALCK CLOVES!! U MSTUE BEI GOFFICK!!"
Josh had realized who the person was immediately, he had heard legends about her, but he never thought he would encounter her for real...
"Ebony...." Was all he muttered
She was quick to respond " Leik miy nmae is Ebony D'arkness Dementia Rave.err Tara..err no Raven way...! Weshould goo toe hottopixs lolzz".
She was just as insufferable as the legends said.. No.. even more insufferble... Josh was literally at a loss for words, except for once single phrase
"What .. The f**K?"
Ebony suddenly turned violent "STPU PREPPZ!!! GERD WAYY IZS SMEXY LIKE BI-GUIYZ!!" She then calmed down a bit and looked at Josh
"I btz ur bi sincee ur goffick, u wnna do iet?"
Josh was about to hurl, not only was he not interested in women, but the thought of locking lips with this one was just gag provoking, the legends say she slept around with at least three or four different ruined versions of harry potter characters, and her openness to having intercourse with him clearly indicated that she must have slept around with plenty more guys (and maybe girls given how fascinated she was with bi sexuality, she probably pretends to be one)
"No way!!!" he exclaimed loudly "I'm NOT bi! Nor am I 'goffick'! And even if I was I wouldn't do you! Ever!"
Ebony's eyes flashed in anger "STFU YOU LOOZER PREP!!!!!"
Suddenly, a bright light flashed, suddenly Josh was wearing all "goffick" clothes, and suddenly felt like pretending to be bi sexual, he felt depressed over the silliest things, and could only think about MCR, he let out out a soft, "call me Blud..." A voice echoed in the back of his head that sounded like Ebony narrating, her tendency to screw up her words made it evident it was her voice
"I looked into Bluds eyees tht revaled so much deprssed evil, he blinkd sexly as I walked towrds him. "Oh Enoby! lt me put my thingi intoo ur uknowwhat so we can have SEX!!"" (c is dat stupid?)"
Ebony and...ermm. "Blud" waked towards each other as the narration continued
"Blud was acltullli a vampur whoo was kdnaped as a bby and rised by morgn lol, asloo he wuz bi and luved MCR"
It seemed that somehow she had snapped Josh's sanity with her sheer suepidity (like stupidity but with Sue in it... CLEVER!!!!) he was at her will.. but suddenly.. Just as there lips where about to meet, a familiar voice echoed in his head
"Master!! You must break free!!" He screamed.. It was.. Josh's apprentice Leonard the crow, the wake up call from reality had somehow helped free him, like something familiar reminded him of who he really was. He was able to will himself free thanks to Leonard's intervention. One he returned to seeing the world through his own eyes as opposed to Ebony's vision of what she thought he should see, he saw Leonard using a spell to restrain her.
"**** PREEPSEZ!! Ur goff poser corwe gui!!" She screamed as he did so.
Leonard turned to Josh and shouted "Master!! Quick! Kill her while she's still restrained!!"
"Umm. duh!! I r vampire! only certain things call kil uss!!" She said, as she would put it "sexily"
Josh looked at her and smirked" If you were in control maybe, but I'm free again.. YOUR rules of writing, continuity and what not don't apply here! By this wolds standards, Your not a vampire! Your a goth with a blood fetish!"
Ebony snapped "STFU PREEPZ!! IF YOU NO LIKEE THE STORY THEN GO F** URSLFE!!" Josh laughed in response and stared at her point blank "You've never displayed any kind of vampiric power, I mean, if you had them, even you would have been smart enough to use them on me while you had the chance.. But nope.. Your just another run of the mill..."
he made his sword, night blade appear and exclaimed "--MARY SUE!!" as he impaled her. She let out a loud wail and then vanished like a bad memory, or the last cookie (still trying to find out who took it) Leonard looked at his master with a smile
"Good thing I found you, I went looking for you when you didn't meet up with me on time."
Josh looked and laughed" Leave it to you to be the punctual
one" Leonard smiled and began walking with his master as Night Blade piped up "M'lord, can we please hurry onto the next town, I can practically feel the AIDS just from the blood on me, I need to wash it off" Both Leonard and Josh laughed.
"Sure, lets hurry along" Josh said as he began to speed up
"Wait master!" said Leonard as he stopped Josh, he put down his bag as Josh stopped and looked back at him. Leonard pulled a jacket out of his bag and gave it to his master "There, now you won't catch your death of cold!" he exclaimed. Josh smiled and the two (plus the sword of course) traveled to the next town...
the end
13 years ago
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P.S. I'm bi-sexual but I'm not "goffick." Except by other individuals' deluded and woefully unintelligent preconceptions. Also...I would gladly burn all of the hot topics to the ground along with all of the scum therein... ;3
well, the whole Bi thing, comes from the story I'm making fun of, in which everyt single character was bi, unless they were a "loozr prepp" or something
SCARY thing is...I've read worse...
SAD thing is...if she'd replaced "goffik" with "emo" she'd have gotten the fans she'd so desperately craved... ;3