HELLO EVERYONE THIS IS MY FIRST STORY ON SOFURRY SO GIVE ME POINTERS ON SPELLING
AND TELL ME WHAT I DID RONG I WANT TO LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES ALSO IF YOU WANT TO
KNOW WHEN THE NEXT CHAPTER IS COMING OUT I HAVE A TWITTER ACOUNT ITS fatherland935
KNOW THEN ON WITH THE STORY
Pain..... that's all I felt as I was stabbed by one of my own brethren the ones I fought with, the ones I trusted why.....why did they do this. It was not your fault young one the Abyss has taken them. You are the last one who is sain, so I have decided to send you to a place were you will thrive do not disappoint me young one I will be watching you from affair . ( portal opens) know go and be free from this awful place young one.
8 hours later: strange I can still move I thought I was dead wate what is that ( smells the air) the air smells of grass but their is not grace and were is the smell of blood and decay, could it be that I am still alive (thumb...thumb) what is that...sound it sounds like the beating of dragon wings. (thumb....thumb) I can feel it...its almost like its coming from me. ( sniffs ) that smell.... I know that smell....blood, huuuummmm the smell comes from over the hill I wonder.....( leaf crunch). aaaaaaaaaahhhhhh ( sword clang) huuummm interesting this creature looks like a wolf almost but has feathers and the head of a shark ( pushes creature away from him then slices it in half ) this is interesting, but I must say it was not a challenge know them it is time to see were that sweet smell of blood is coming from( walks over hill) well this is a very familiar site.....WAR.
If you stick with it, you're in for a lifetime of fun and creativity.
You are aware there is room for improvement to your story. That's great, and
there's one piece of advice I'd like to give you :
Read as much as you write.
Read a story written by someone else, possibly something in your own genre.
Forget about the plot, but pay attention to HOW they write, what techniques they use, and how their writing differs from yours.
Points you might want to look at are:
* How other writers put dialogue inside quotations ( "It was not your fault, young one.")
* How they use Italics as a way to present internal monologue ( <i> how could they do this to me? </i>)
* How rarely you come across sound effects in writing : "Sword clang"/ "leaf crunch" ?
Then go back to your story, apply those techniques and notice how your story improves.
Finally, keep writing
^_^