CHAPTER 1 - To Be Lain Down Back Home

                   To Be Lain Down Back Home
                                                By: A.X. Bueno

We all have dreams and obligations that try and pull us away from home
Some of us leave longer than others in pursuit of them 
Whether we return in the end we still end up back in the soil or some other biome 
It’s rather hard to face but it is not an idea that should necessarily hem 
There’s usually a lot of life in between and stories from times when we roam 
And in those roaming times when life is lived 
You might find the location of your home begin to split and drift 
Soon you find the feelings of home are no longer from a sole place derived 
And a serious dilemma can be found in this shift
Well really multiple dilemmas from this shift can arise 
But lately I’ve been thinking more about a particular one 
And it’s where to be put to rest after one dies 
While right now that still feels far away I’d rather be prepared in the long run 
Not that I’ve made any sort of plans yet that have actually left my head 
I wouldn’t know where to start when I have several homes to my heart
And then there’s the way my family is buried and spread
If I think about it too hard I can verge on coming apart 
All the final memories denied and final words unable to be said 
But I also know we don’t always choose where we go or where we depart
Still it hurts that there’s so much family in a country which I can’t truly stay
So many permanently resting there but as much as I consider it home 
My feelings and spoken words hold no official sway 
Even if I have history there, personal and family enough to fill several a tome 
I’ll keep going back but probably won’t end up there at the end of the day 
And that’s been something that’s been on mind for a short while 
As said before these thoughts are hard to plan for and directly face  
But I’m learning ways to distract from them as I also learn to reconcile
With all that’s gone and is going on I’m trying to figure out ways to give myself grace 
At the end of it all what I ask for is there to be at least one space and time laid out for me 
And for life to let me figure it out at a slower and less worrisome, more reasonable pace 
I’ve got a heart split between homes but only one place I can truly be