“Mr. Iratis, I hope for your sake you're just shielding your eyes to help you focus on my lesson," said an extremely dull voice. It was so low and boring and almost never had any emotion at all, making the choice to listen to it and raise his head from his arms all the more difficult.

“Um…yeah," said Sean lazily with a light grin, his eyelids still heavy. He yawned and stretched. “Sorry, what was the question?"

“I didn't ask you a question," said his professor boringly.

“Oh. Sounds good," he replied. With another yawn, he laid his head back down on his arms-

“Mr. Iratis."

Sean slowly raised his head again. “Yeah, yeah. I'm totally awake and paying attention, Mr. Bursely. Professor. Sir."

Bursley sighed while the rest of his classmates stifled laughter. “Somehow, I doubt that. Let's try this: if you're really paying attention, you should be able to talk about the reading I assigned. Explain one way Isese is unique with regards to other creation myths."

“Uh…am I gonna be in trouble if I can't answer?" said Sean.

“Yes."

His classmates chuckled again.

“Gotcha." He reached into the bag laying near his chair. Despite the immense, and some might say impossible, amount of clutter inside, he instantly pulled out a book and quickly flipped through the few hundred pages.

Bursley shook his head. “No cheating, Mr. Iratis. Answer the question."

“Okay," he said. He put the book down. “Uh…so like, the Yoruba religion is a little unique because a lot of other creation myths are like, their god made the world from who knows where or they did it and then went shoom up into heaven, you know?" he said, shooting his hand into the air for emphasis. “But Isese says either Oduduwa directly just made all this stuff starting with Ile-Ife when Oludumare said to do that, or she, uh…she had a bunch of kids and then told them to divide and conquer or whatever, you know? So then they spread out and, like…did that."

“And that matters because…?" Bursley pressed.

“Yeah, so there's like, actual history backing that second theory up. It's kinda possible that this lady really did send her kids out to take everything and make a big ol' empire, and all that. It's totally different from some other creation myths because there may be some kinda history behind it, especially because there are other religions in that area that are like, way different. Like, for the Ewe they go with Mawu-Lisa being the creator of people by Mawu making them out of clay and stuff and then her husband Lisa going, here's how you be people. And, uh…yeah."

Bursley's eyes narrowed. “Okay. Another question: explain how the Yoruba language became more accessible."

“That wasn't really a question, Professor Sir. But, uh…Samuel Crowther in 1884 when he translated the Bible."

“What are the three modern day countries that the Yoruba originated in?"

“Nigeria, Benin, and Togo. I think."

“...hm. Well, that's correct. However, you did get one thing partially wrong: Oduduwa was likely male, not female. It's true that he was referred to in a way that comes across as feminine to us in some writings, but generally it's agreed that he was male."

“Nope! She was a lady."

“...and how would you know this?"

“Oh, you know. Research."

He received an unamused stare in response. “You know, Mr. Iratis, it seems pointless to show up to class just to sleep. You clearly know the material, and while I struggle to believe you've ever conducted a moment of research on anything except where to find beer, I've yet to see you get anything less than a perfect score on your tests."

“Aw, come on! I'm only 19, you know I can't buy beer," Sean grinned.

“Right, the teenager living in an unofficial frat house has never had a single beer. How silly of me," he said, causing another ripple of laughter from the others in the class. “More to the point, you clearly know all of this already. Why are you even here?"

He shrugged. “I dunno. I got bored?"

“I can't imagine how dull your life must be if I'm your entertainment for the day," said Bursley. “Anyway, stay after class."

“Huh? Why? Did I answer something wrong?"

“No." He pointed to Sean. “But shirts and shoes are required in my classroom, Mr. Iratis. Maybe staying a few minutes after will remind you."

Sean blinked lazily and glanced down at himself. Apparently, he'd forgotten to get dressed before leaving for class. Again.

“...oh. Heh, oops. But hey, at least I remembered to put pants on this time," he chuckled, although it was less that he remembered and more that his shorts were what he happened to be wearing yesterday when he passed out after a party. He then frowned and pointed towards the front of the room. “...wait, why am I being singled out? Why not Courtney, Mr. Professor Sir?"

Bursley glanced at the young woman Sean was pointing at who, like he had been moments ago, was fast asleep on her desk and snoring softly. Also like him, she seemed to have forgotten her shoes and wore what were obviously her pajamas. “Because I recognize a lost cause when I see one. At least with you, I can have some hope that you'll pass my tests and give me a better case to ask for a raise."

As always with Bursley, his monotone voice made it impossible to tell if he was joking. He probably wasn't joking about staying after class, though, and so Sean stayed in his seat for a few minutes after everyone except Courtney, who was still asleep, left the room.

“...um, I've got another class to get to after this," Sean eventually said after a minute of silence.

“A lecture from the Sandman, I assume?" Bursley replied without even looking up from the paper he was reading.

“Professor Mills, actually."

He briefly glanced up at Sean. “Nice try. Mandy's not in today, so she cancelled class."

Sean raised an eyebrow. “She did? How did you know that? Ooh, Mr. Bursley, do you like, have a thing for Professor Mills?" he teased.

“I'd already be married if I was capable of getting a girlfriend like her. I'm sure this comes as a surprise, but middle-aged sociologists who are a solid 4/10 on a good day aren't exactly considered hot stuff," he said dryly. “She put it in the group chat, as you kids would say."

“You have a professor group chat?"

“We do. We use it to make fun of all of you…and post changes in schedules, which Mandy seems to do often. I know she's tenured, but with how many times she calls out, I'm surprised they even agreed to give it to her." He sighed. “Alright, I think you've spent long enough in here. Go do…whatever it is you were going to do after my class. Sleep, I assume."

Sean grinned and stood up. “Alright, Mr. Bursley Sir! See you on Friday!"

“Uh-huh. Just remember to get dressed at some point before then, Mr. Iratis."

“Hey, I checked the school rules! Nothing that says I gotta!" he laughed.

“Besides the fact that I'm genuinely shocked anyone's read the student handbook for this place," said Bursley, “it might not, but my classroom does because I say so. Goodbye, Mr. Iratis."

He picked up his bag and left Bursley's classroom, wondering what kind of memes professors would put in a group chat. Probably super lame ones like a picture of a cat with bold text that says “Students be like: I can haz extra credit?" that end up getting a bunch of laugh emojis. He hadn't even been on the internet for that long, and he could still come up with better memes than that.

As it was approaching noon, and since he apparently had a free period now that he knew his next class was cancelled, he made his way over to the dining hall where he was quickly stopped by an angry security guard standing at the entrance who demanded he “put some clothes on".

“I mean…I do have clothes on. Got my shorts right here," he said, looking directly into the man's eyes. “But even if not, what's the big deal? It's all like, whatever, isn't it?"

For a few seconds, the man said nothing. The anger etched across his face slowly faded until he finally said, “...yeah. Yeah, I guess you're right. Go on in. Sorry to have bothered you, I've just had a long day."

“No problemo, my good man! No problemo at all," he chuckled, patting the guard on the back as he walked in. They'd been stationed around the school for about a month after a report said Showstopper had been seen on the mainland just before the bridge connecting it to his college on Platinum Bay, but he wasn't convinced it was anything except a waste of time. Showstopper was practically harmless without Curtain Call around, and she was still locked up on the other side of the country. Besides, even if he or some other supervillain did try to cause problems as they often did, what were the guards going to do? Criticize them for their fashion choices as they blew up the school for the second time that year?

Then again, Showstopper was pretty emotional. That might actually work on him.

After eating, he went back to his dorm inside Alpha Theta Sigma Pi Delta, a frat house he'd been told is “totally legitimate, mostly". That was good enough for him. It was quiet at the moment, a rare occurrence that only happened during the day when everyone inside the frat house was either sleeping or shuffling to class. He didn't like it, but all he had to do was wait a few hours and the noise would be at ear-splitting levels. Looking forward to this, he went to his room and threw on his sandals and the first tank top he found that didn't smell too bad or have more than one stain on it. No point in getting chewed out again.

Still, his last class of the day was astronomy with Jaden who, like most people at Rosemary University aside from Bursley and that one security guard, seemed to have embraced the school's party vibe instead of trying to reject it for no reason. He refused to be called Professor Wendall, and he was just as likely as his students to show up hungover or dressed in his pajamas. He'd even encouraged them to break into off-limits areas on campus because they were good for stargazing, and he was a common sight in the pub just outside the school's campus.

Now that was someone who was more Sean's style.

Because Jaden was his favorite professor, he was highly disappointed to discover that Professor Mills wasn't the only one who'd called out; Jaden was nowhere to be seen even as class started, and while this wasn't incredibly unusual, he usually had one of his TA's start the class until he got there, or teach it if he didn't come at all. However, his TA's weren't present either. One of them was a super nerd, always early and constantly getting on him for trying to get a little rest now and then, so the fact that she in particular wasn't present was definitely off.

“Hey, did you, like…get anything from Jaden about him not being here?" Sean asked the boy sitting next to him. Jackson, he vaguely remembered his name was. Or was it Carlos? There was an a in there somewhere, he was pretty sure.

“No. I figured we'd at least get an email, but nothing," said the boy he was starting to remember was actually named Arnold.

“Huh. Weird," he said, leaning back in his chair with his hands resting behind his head.

No, his name was definitely Larry, and he replied with a shrug. “If he doesn't show up after 15 minutes, we can leave. That's a thing, isn't it?"

“Nah, we can leave whenever! No point in sticking around if there's more important stuff to do, right?" he said with a lazy grin.

“What, like napping? I assume that's why you always sit in the back," Dalton replied bluntly.

“Bingo!" he said before yawning. “Speaking of which, I'm gonna take a little nap until Jaden gets here or someone tells us to go home."

Mark sighed lightly but did nothing to stop him from laying his head on his arms. Just as he'd settled in comfortably and closed his eyes-

“Good afternoon, class. I apologize for my tardiness."

That definitely wasn't Jaden. Besides that his voice wasn't nearly that pretty, although he could have done some work on it, Sean supposed, he absolutely wasn't that boring. Apologize? Tardiness? Who used big words like that?

He groaned and raised his head up. A young man a few years older than him at most was walking to the front of the room. Just like his voice, he was incredibly pretty; his hair was light brown and silky and fell to his shoulders, and as he turned around to face them, Sean noticed he had a pleasant face framed by oval glasses and incredibly smooth, pale skin. He carried a small briefcase and wore what was probably the most boring outfit imaginable in the form of a collared shirt tucked into khakis along with dress shoes. Then again, it fit his boring voice.

“I'm sure you all have questions," he said. While soft and dull, it wasn't monotone like Bursley's was and so it wasn't hard to listen to, necessarily, but Sean still felt like he'd rather do anything than pay attention to him. “It seems Professor Wendall…how should I put this? He's experiencing a rather terrible headache, let's say. As for his assistants, they happen to be out of town today. Therefore, he called me and asked me to fill in. I'm a former student, you see, so I was more than happy to help out. My name is Michael, though you may call me Mr. Gelan."

Anette raised her hand. “We were supposed to have a test today. Is that still happening?"

He nodded. “Yes. In fact, that's partly why I didn't mind filling in as I don't have to do much except ensure there's no cheating," he smiled. “I've been provided with the test sheets. Give me just a moment, I'll hand them out."

Michael, or Mr. Gelan as Fancypants wanted to be called, opened his briefcase and took out a stack of tests, several pages each, that he then handed out to the students while instructing them to not start until everyone had theirs. He'd just reached Sean when he paused.

“I said to not start until everyone is ready," he said, turning his head just enough to peer at one of Sean's classmates near the front who quickly flipped his paper back over.

“How did he know that?" Sean heard him whisper to his friend.

With a satisfied smile, Michael turned back to Sean. Their eyes locked.

“Remember. No cheating," he said.

“Wouldn't dream of it," Sean chuckled.

“Of course not." He placed the test on the desk, and Sean put his hand on it to slide it closer to himself. Apparently, Michael had been planning to slide it over himself, resulting in their hands gently grazing each other-

“Ow!" Sean grinned, whipping his hand away after what felt like a moderate electric shock. “Man, haven't had someone zap me like that in ages!"

Michael, who had apparently also felt the shock and pulled his hand back, said nothing for a few seconds. Finally, he smiled. “...ah. Yes, sorry. I have an unfortunate habit of not picking up my feet when I walk. My mother was always getting on me for it. Since this classroom is carpeted, I'm honestly surprised it didn't happen sooner."

“Nah, dude. It's chill. Just warn me next time, okay?" he laughed.

“Yes. Of course."

Michael kept a close eye on all of them during the test, occasionally calling out a reminder to not cheat or, in Sean's case, to keep himself awake until he'd finished. The questions were easy, though, and he had no reason to take the entire fifty minutes to do it. Deciding to just get it over with and leave after the third reminder to stay awake, he yawned, scribbled down an answer for each question, and stood up a few minutes later.

“Here you go, Mr. Not-Professor Michael," he said, handing the test over.

“You can't have finished that quickly. It's not humanly possible," said Michael. He flipped through the pages in silence, some being looked over several times. “...that's very interesting. Alright. You can go, Mr…hm." He looked at the front page of the test and then up at Sean with an expression somewhere between exhausted and annoyed. “Iratis."

“Perfect. Later!" he grinned. He hurried out of the classroom while ignoring the glare he was receiving from his temporary professor. Now free from the confines of standardized tests, he could get back to what really mattered: preparing for that night's party at the frat house.

“Chug, chug, chug, chug!" the group of people around Sean chanted above the eardrum-bursting music. He raised the comically massive can of beer even higher and poured it almost completely vertically down his throat. Finishing the last drop, he wiped his mouth and tossed it away, then raised his arms in triumph as the crowd cheered.

“And not even a little buzzed! Gimme another!" he said with a wide grin. They responded with another loud roar, and a girl near the front darted off to find him a second can. This wasn't technically possible given no one was even sure where the first came from, especially as it was less of a can and something closer to a small barrel, but the energy refused to dissipate and clouded their reason. That was what made parties fun, though. Logic, inhibition, reason, none of that mattered. All that did matter was having a good time with the people nearby until you were so drunk or tired that it was literally impossible to continue. That was what he'd come here for. Not rules, not responsibilities. Just good, old-fashioned fun that proved he was alive.

“Dude, like, how do you get so good at that? You gotta teach me, Oh Wise One!" Matt declared with exaggerated reverence. He was a senior and one of the few people living at the frat house who at least tried to keep up with Sean. He often failed, but he tried. Like Sean, though, he seemed to have lost his shirt at some point during the night which was odd because Sean had no memory of removing his own, and he also didn't remember seeing Matt taking his off, so where they'd ended up was anyone's guess.

That barrel of beer might have hit harder than he thought.

“Just a natural talent, dude!" Sean laughed.

“And by that you mean you're cheating. Come on, there's gotta be some way the rest of us mortals can keep up!" Matt said.

“Just gotta practice, man! Just gotta practice." He looked around. “Hey, you seen Adrian?"

Matt shook his head. “Nah, not all night. You think he's sick or something?"

If Matt was the closest one to being able to keep up to Sean, Adrian was a very close second; he'd never missed a party, often had more to drink than almost everyone else, and was considered the most likely to be the reason their frat house received a noise complaint even though it was a good distance from any of the other dorms. This was exactly why Sean immediately pushed through the sea of people and went upstairs, pushed through another thick wall, and came to Adrian's room.

“Hey, buddy! You in there?" he asked, knocking loudly on the door.

No answer.

“Adrian! You good, man? Do I like, need to call someone?"

The door slowly opened to reveal Adrian. He wore long pajamas and his hair was slightly messy, both of which were odd; Sean knew that Adrian didn't wear pajamas when he slept, and his hair was usually extremely messy.

“Sean, it's two in the morning. Is this important?" he mumbled. He yawned and rubbed his eyes.

“Is this impor-dude, there's a huge party going on and you're missing it!" Sean exclaimed. “Are you feeling alright?"

“I'm fine. I guess I don't really have a choice if it's you, so you might as well just come in," he said, opening the door wider.

Adrian shared his room with Matt, which meant it was typically full of clutter on a day they felt like cleaning up a little. Every other day, it was nearly impossible to take a few steps without hitting something. Now, however, there wasn't a single book, piece of clothing, wrapper, or can on the ground. Sean couldn't even feel any dust or dirt on the floor as he walked in and sat down on Matt's bed.

“Alright, man, what's the deal? You're actually wearing stuff to bed, your room is clean…seriously. You okay?" he asked.

“I guess I've just been thinking a lot," he shrugged.

Thinking? Who did that anymore?

“...meaning?"

“I dunno. Just wondering what I'm doing here. I'm paying all this money, and to do what? Get drunk, have massive headaches, and fail my tests?"

Sean had to blink a few times after his brain, as little use as it got, seemed to freeze. Granted, he hadn't paid anything to come to Rosemary University so even he recognized there wasn't much he could say about that point, but the rest? That was crazy talk.

“I…dude, what are you even talking about? What else are you supposed to do here?" he frowned.

“Get a degree? Learn something?" Adrian replied bluntly.

“Man, there's always time for that boring stuff later! Like, listen okay, I'm not against learning or whatever, some stuff is fun to know," he said, though he felt a slightly bitter taste in his mouth as he claimed that education mattered, “but we're young, we've got time! Besides, you learn way more by just going out there and doing stuff instead of reading about it! So take off those lame PJs and join the party! Have a drink or seven! Meet people! You know you want to!"

“The only thing I want to do is get some sleep so I'm ready for my test tomorrow, Sean. Unlike you, the rest of us actually need to do that now and then," he growled. His eyes flicked downwards briefly, taking in Sean's appearance. “Maybe you should get some sleep, though. If you're tired enough to think it's okay to walk around dressed like that, you clearly need rest."

“Why do people keep saying that? Dude, I have pants on! Who cares?" Sean protested.

“You literally don't."

Sean looked down. “...oh. Okay, but underwear still counts as pants! And they're even boxers, they're literally just shorts except, you know. Tighter and thinner."

“Do you even know where your missing clothes are?"

Silence.

“That's what I thought. I get I shouldn't expect much else given you're…you know. You. Breaking the rules is kind of your thing. But for actual people like us it's just not decent, that's all I'm saying," Adrian finished. “If there's nothing else, I'd like to get back to sleep now. Not that I'm sure how I'll be able to with that racket downstairs…"

“Wait," said Sean. “You're not being affected by Mindcrawler or anything, right?"

“Do I look asleep to you?" Adrian asked.

“Well, no, but maybe she did something to you in your dreams."

“That's not how she works, Sean. Matt got slammed by Mindcrawler last year, we know how she does stuff. I'm fine, now please leave."

Adrian practically shoved him out of the room and slammed the door behind him.

“...huh, so that's why it was a little cold in here. No mas pantalones," he chuckled to himself. He then remembered that Adrian being so violently against partying was definitely wrong and probably important, so he hurried back downstairs to find Matt. Thankfully, there was still some sense left in the world; he approached just as Matt had gotten onto a table in the living room and started dancing while people threw beer on him.

“Hey, man!" Matt grinned. “Come on up here and join me!"

“No time, dude! Something's totally up with Adrian!" Sean exclaimed.

“Aw, come on! I'm sure it's all good, brother!"

“Dude, he didn't want to come down! He's all boring now!"

Matt slipped on a small puddle of beer and crashed straight onto his back among a chorus of sharp intakes of breath and “Oooh!"s.

“Hehehe, good thing I'm blasted or that'd have hurt!" he laughed, slowly pushing himself up. A large red mark had appeared on the skin of his back where he'd collided. “...okay, yeah. Definitely gonna be feeling that tomorrow. But seriously? My main man Adrian is not boring!"

Sean pulled him off the table and dragged him upstairs. He knocked on the door to Matt's room-

“Sean, go away! I'm trying to sleep!" came Adrian's voice immediately.

“You sure you don't wanna come join us? It'll be fun!" he grinned.

“No. Leave me alone."

Sean gestured to the door. “See? Told ya. Boring."

Matt pounded on the door. “Yo, dude! What's your deal? Just yesterday you were saying how much you loved these things!"

“I changed my mind, okay? If you love them so much then go do it on your own, but leave me out of it."

“Matt, he's even wearing PJs-" Sean began, but the words had barely left his mouth before Adrian burst through the door.

“PJs!? Refusing to party!? What's the matter with you!?" he heard Matt exclaim.

“Maybe some of us don't want to waste our time in college being blackout drunk all the time!" Adrian retorted.

Matt poked his head out. “Adrian and I are gonna have a little talk. Come back tomorrow? There's an empty space on that table primed for some dancing if you wanna take my spot!"

He took Matt up on his idea, of course, but the entire time he couldn't shake the feeling that something was extremely wrong. Even he wasn't dumb enough to believe that people did total 180's in a single day, especially not someone like Adrian who was the one to run the frat initiation that year. Needless to say, it was not boring. He just couldn't figure out what was happening. Adrian couldn't be blackmailed, the guy had absolutely no secrets and no sense of shame whatsoever. He wasn't gonna get kicked out, Matt's grades were even worse but he was still there. It wasn't Mindcrawler, Adrian was right that he'd be asleep right now if it was. So who, or what, could take one of the most chill, fun guys in the world and make him into a total snoozefest overnight?

When he awoke the next morning, skin sticky from dried booze and already messy hair even more messy, he hoped that Matt had either talked some sense into Adrian or at least figured out what made him change his mind so suddenly. He pushed himself off the table and yawned. While he wanted to go see the two of them, the clock by the TV said it was almost noon which meant he needed to get going if he didn't want to be late for his next class. Fortunately, time was a concept made up by humans and had no significance to him whatsoever, so after a quick shower and throwing on his sandals and the first clothes he found in his room, he slowly headed to his anthropology class and even arrived with a good twenty minutes left.

“Thank you for joining us, Mr. Iratis," said an annoyingly pretty voice the moment he entered.

“...whuh?" he mumbled, still half-asleep. He rubbed his eyes. Standing at the front of the room was the same guy from yesterday who'd taken over his astronomy class. Michael Johnson, or something.

“I'm Michael, or more specifically, Mr. Gelan. In case you've accidentally forgotten," he said.

“Oh. Right. What are you doing here?" Sean asked.

“When I'm not dealing with you interrupting, I'm teaching. Professor Stein asked me to fill in today since I'd already filled in for Professor Wendall. He recommended me to her, so here I am. Take your seat."

Even more surprising than the man's sudden reappearance was the amount of glares he was receiving as he made his way to his usual seat towards the back. There was always at least one nerd in every class who insisted he was “disrupting everyone's education" or whatever, but it seemed like half the class was annoyed with him. He quickly made sure he'd gotten dressed, and not only did he remember this time, there wasn't even a single stain on anything he wore. Not only that, he'd actually gotten there earlier than usual. There was no reason for the dozen or so glares, and yet there they were.

“As I was saying before the interruption," said Michael as he returned his attention to the rest of the room, “many cultures had a concept similar to Hell far before Christianity. Ancient Egypt, for example, didn't exactly have a place of eternal punishment for sinners, but they did have something that was more or less the same thing when you think about it. Can anyone tell me what that is? Mr. Iratis, how about you?"

Sean pulled his head up from his arms and yawned. He didn't even get two minutes. What kind of taskmaster was this guy? “Uh…Ammit."

“What about Ammit?" Michael pressed.

He yawned again. “Sorry. But yeah, so there's the thing with Anubis weighing your soul, right? But, uh…before that, there was this whole thing with Maat, and you'd, like, get judged by all these people and then if you were good, Maat would say you can go to the corn field, or whatever."

“...the Field of Reeds, but continue."

“Yeah, that. If you're a bad hombre, though, you'd get eaten by Ammit which totally sucks. You're just stuck inside this big crocodile lady forever."

Michael crossed his arms. “I see. Unfortunately, that's mostly incorrect. It's the feather of Maat, not Maat herself, that's involved with the judging. Also, Ammit doesn't devour the person themselves, she devours their heart and subjects them to an eternity in the Duat. Which isn't to say that's more favorable, really, but still."

He didn't understand why people kept correcting him lately. He may not always do the assigned reading, but he still knew a thing or two. Sometimes. “Nah, bro. Ammit devours the soul, which is kinda the same but not really? Anyway, like, she devours you and then you spend forever inside her. Her stomach is kinda like a portal to the Duat. Like, a really messed up doorway or something, you know? It exists inside of her. Also, Maat originally did it until Anubis kinda just beat her up and said it was his job now, then he took one of her feathers and started using that." He shrugged. “Kinda messed up if you ask me, but hey. Gods are gods, and all that jazz."

“You seem quite confident about the inner workings of Hell across cultures," he said plainly. “May I ask you a personal question? Where are you from, Mr. Iratis?"

“Oh, ya know. Around."

“Around…?"

“The south, mostly. Then I came over here."

Michael raised an eyebrow. “The south. Right. Just curious: how many circles of Hell are there?"

“Uh…five?" Sean answered.

The rest of the class chuckled lightly.

“Five. Right. Anyway, I don't want to waste any more time. I'm not getting paid to debate you," he said. He then paused. “...actually, I'm not getting paid at all."

“Isn't that illegal?" the girl sitting next to Sean asked.

He looked at her with tired eyes. “Unfortunately, people like me don't get the luxury of being paid for our hard work. We just have to do it out of kindness…or obligation when the kindness inevitably runs out. So, moving on…"

Sean quickly fell asleep thanks to Michael's boring voice and teaching style, so all he got was that the rest of the lecture had something to do with Heaven and Hell in different cultures. He already knew about all that, so he wasn't worried. What had him far more concerned was Adrian's attitude change, and so the moment he woke up, which happened to be a few minutes after the class ended and everyone had left, he hurried back to his dorm. Of course, he stopped by the dining hall for a burger or three, but after that he wasted no time in going to check up on his friend.

“Adrian! You here, bro?" he called out the moment he entered the frat house.

Instantly, he heard a door open and someone stomping down the stairs. Rather than Adrian, he now faced Lily. Although the house was technically male only, several girls still chose to live there and no one on the faculty seemed to care enough to come over and do something about it, Lily being a senior and one of the oldest members. Like Sean, she often forgot to get fully dressed before going anywhere, but today she had not only gotten rid of the crop top and shorts she usually wore, she had actually chosen to put both shoes and a dress on. Sean, who had never seen her wear either unless she was forced to, froze.

“...Lily, why are you, like…dressed?" he frowned.

“Why would I not be?" she growled. “More importantly, can you keep it down? I'm trying to study."

“Huh? Study?" he asked incredulously.

“Yeah. Study. Just because you don't need to, it doesn't mean the rest of us are so lucky. Please just…keep it down." She turned around and started to head back upstairs-

“Wait!" he called out. “Have you seen Adrian?"

“No. He's probably in class. Just wait for a while. Maybe study for once," she answered curtly before returning to her room.

Something was definitely wrong. Not only had they lost Adrian, but someone had gotten to Lily as well? That was the only explanation, after all; someone had to be doing…something to all the fun people, but what? And who? And why?

The attempt at deep thought made his head hurt. He really wasn't cut out for stuff like that. No, the smart people stuff could be left to that internet lady. He'd never met her, but he knew a few people that'd asked her for help with research whenever they were about to hit a deadline and hadn't even started. What was her name? Enter? No, Envious. That was it. Weird thing to call herself, but that was just the sort of thing people did these days.

Still, he had to do something. He didn't want to think about what it'd be like if everyone in the frat house suddenly became boring. They wouldn't let him have parties, or dance, or have any fun at all. It'd just be studying, and books, and rules all the time. He'd left home to get away from all of that. Determined to not have to deal with that again, he went upstairs to Lily's room and knocked on her door.

“What, Sean?" she sighed.

“I just wanted to ask you. Like…are you okay?" he frowned.

“Yeah, I'm fine. Or at least I was, until you decided to keep interrupting me. I really need to get this stuff done, it's due next week."

He blinked. “Next week? But that's so far away!"

“Did you actually want something or are you just here to make sure I fail my next assignment?" she asked.

“Yeah, yeah. Um…have you seen anyone weird lately?"

The question hung uncomfortably in the air.

“...besides you?" she said slowly.

“Hey! I'm not weird, I'm fun! Which is how you used to be," Sean grinned. “But yeah. Anyone weird who isn't me."

“If I answer, will you let me study?"

“Yeah, sure! So…anyone at all?"

She leaned against the doorframe and crossed her arms. “Weird…no, not that I can think of. I assume you're asking if I've seen some supervillain around here like Mindcrawler, but everyone seems normal. No one's gone missing or gotten hurt, either." She paused. “...hold on, I'm not sure I like the fact that you're the one asking. What do you know that I don't know?"

“Nothing!" he answered quickly. “It's just…you and Adrian are acting off, and some people in my class were being kinda weird too, so I just thought I'd ask. Never know, right?"

“You ever stop to think that sometimes, people just grow up and realize they can't spend all their time drinking and partying? Just because you have all the time in the world, it doesn't mean we do."

“Okay, but no one changes that fast! Do you think-"

She held up a hand to stop him. “No, Sean. You got one question and agreed to let me study if I answered. I did, so keep your end of the deal."

With that, she closed the door in his face. He considered knocking again, but he doubted he'd get much more out of her. Instead, he went to Adrian's room and sat down beside the door. However long it took for Adrian to return from whatever boring thing he was doing, Sean would wait. Maybe he'd have some answers.

Sean wasn't actually sure how long he waited because he fell asleep almost the moment he sat down. He yawned and opened his eyes to see Adrian staring down at him with a level of disapproval he'd only ever encountered from his parents.

“What are you doing?" he asked.

“Adrian!" Sean exclaimed, scrambling to his feet. “Listen, something's weird! Lily's just like you now, she's…normal!"

Adrian rolled his eyes. “Most of us are, Sean. You're the only one who isn't around here."

“Whatever. Look, have you seen anyone weird lately?"

“For the last time, no. There's no supervillain wandering around. Don't you think I'd tell you if I saw one?"

“Okay, maybe not a supervillain, but like, anyone else? Someone new, or weird, or…I dunno, someone who convinced you to be lame!"

Adrian opened the door to his room and seemed intent on entering without giving him an answer. Sean instantly reached out and grabbed his arm-

“Ow!" Adrian yelped, yanking himself away and holding the area where Sean had touched him. “Did you drag your feet on the carpet or something!? That hurt!"

Sean, who had also felt a strong shock the moment he touched Adrian, said, “No, man. You know I don't do…that…"

Suddenly, he heard Michael's words from the previous day after experiencing an identical shock:

“I have an unfortunate habit of not picking up my feet when I walk."

“Adrian," he said. “Dude. Did you, like…have some lame guy named Michael as a substitute in one of your classes?"

“Huh? He filled in for my psychology class the day before yesterday. Why?" he asked.

Without answering, Sean hurried back to Lily's door and knocked on it.

“Sean, that better not be you!" came the annoyed reply.

“It's me, sorry! Just one last question, then I promise I'll leave you alone! Did you have a guy named Michael substitute in one of your classes?"

“Michael? Yeah, he took over my film studies class yesterday. He was pretty good, seemed to know a lot about old movies. Now please go away and let me focus!"

If he wasn't sure before, he was now. He'd had a suspicion ever since the contact between him and Michael had provided a shock to both, but that itself didn't mean much. The fact that it hurt was surprising, but it didn't prove anything. Now that he knew for sure Michael had been around both Lily and Adrian, there was only one possible explanation and it unfortunately wasn't a supervillain. That would be much less of a bore to deal with.

Deciding to get it out of the way now so everyone would be ready in time for that night's party, he quickly left the frat house. Michael had to be on campus somewhere, there was no way he'd just leave with the job half done. No, until everyone was wearing polo shirts and singing in a choir, he wouldn't give up.

If Sean was the kind of person to believe that he could be blessed, he'd have assumed he just received one: Michael walked out of the same building he went to for his sociology class. He was carrying a briefcase (boring), was wearing the same style of clothes he'd worn the last few days (super boring), and seemed incredibly uninterested in everything around him (more boring than Bursley's voice). He looked over and raised an eyebrow as Sean approached, though his expression changed little aside from that.

“Mr. Iratis. Can I help you with something?" he asked.

“Yeah, could you, like…put everyone back to how they were?" he said.

“I'm afraid I don't follow."

Sean rolled his eyes. “Dude. Come on. You and I both know what you are, so let's just skip the lame parts, okay? You're making everyone super lame. Quit it."

“I really have no idea what you're talking about. If you'll excuse me, I have another class to get to," he said. He began to walk away, but Sean immediately grabbed his arm and held on tightly. The pain of an intense electrical shock tried to force him to release his grip, but he refused to let go.

“Aagh! Let…go…!" Michael growled, attempting to wrench himself free.

“N-no! Not until…you fix everyone…!" Sean growled in return. Just a little longer, he only had to endure the pain for a little bit more and then-"

“I SAID: LET GO!"

Like a strong wind had appeared from nowhere, Sean was suddenly thrown backwards. The pain of landing on the hard concrete was nothing compared to the shock that had left the skin on his palm, as well as Michael's arm, throbbing and red, but it still wasn't entirely pleasant. He picked himself up and held his hand out.

“See? No pretending you're not an angel. That doesn't happen if you're not," he said.

Michael rubbed the red part of his arm gingerly as it, and Sean's hand, slowly faded back to a normal color. “Damn you…! This is why I hate wretched creatures like you, no respect or diplomacy whatsoever! No, you just jump right into the debauchery and pain!"

“Yeah, yeah, I've heard it all before, man. Are you gonna make everyone fun again or not?" he asked.

“You know what I am, and you still dare to ask that question? I thought you vermin were stupid, but I never thought you'd be this ridiculously idiotic!" he hissed. “But fine! No more games! If you're that determined to be purged, allow me to do the honors and wipe the stain that is the Black Ram from existence!"

In an instant, a sea of dark clouds rolled in and cast a deep shadow over the campus. A single beam of light, pure and blisteringly bright, shot from the clouds and struck Michael. Sean yawned and waited, and a few seconds later, Michael stepped out as the light disappeared. He no longer resembled his former self, or even a human at all; his skin was now porcelain white and slightly shiny, and his hair had grown down to his waist and flowed behind him. Four massive wings, each with multiple eyes, had sprouted from his back while his clothes had gone from boring to, well, still boring but at least they were pretty in the form of a white robe, long-sleeved and down to his feet, and golden sandals. The eyes on his face were shining with light and were staring directly at Sean with clear contempt.

“Do not be afraid," he said, his voice echoing with the voices of several different people. “Be terrified."

“I'm good," Sean shrugged.

Michael raised his hand, his fingers held closely together. “No. No, you are not. That is precisely why I came here. I could detect the stench you leave on everything you touch even from Heaven itself. I admit, however, that I didn't expect to find you so quickly. I count that as a miracle."

“Hey, I showered recently!" he protested. He sighed and put his hands in his pockets. “Look, man. Just put everyone back to how they were and we can both-"

Michael's hand glowed. A massive rock, half the size of the closest building, appeared materialized above Sean. He didn't even so much as look up before it slammed directly down onto him, creating a crater upon impact.

“We borrow from the earth and repay. You take from it as if it were your own. It is only natural that we should reach this conclusion," said Michael. He closed his eyes, including the eyes on his wings, and gently clasped his hands together as if praying-

“Wow, that almost hurt!"

Every one of Michael's eyes burst open. The rock he called down on Sean had started to stir just slightly. Then, a crack appeared at the top and snaked its way down, and the two halves fell to the sides. In the middle was Sean, stretching and completely unharmed.

“You couldn't warn me before something like that? Getting rocks dropped on me isn't like, one of my favorite things, you know," he said. “...hey, wasn't there a song about that? Like, cats and rainbows and stuff. I don't think giant rocks were on that list."

“Even now, you taunt the bringer of your purification," said Michael calmly. “No matter. If conventional methods will not work, let us try something else."

He raised his hand again. It glowed with the same light as before, and for a second, nothing happened. Then, droves of students and faculty began to pour out of every building. It looked like every single person on campus had been placed under Michael's control; their eyes were filled with light just like his and they walked with unnatural stiffness and perfect, boring formation. Sean even recognized a few in the crowd including Bursley, who was probably more interesting now, and the boy from his astronomy class whose name he still couldn't remember but was almost definitely Barry.

As they approached, Michael flapped his wings and slowly rose into the air as a light but constant wind kicked up. “They are pure. They are natural. They will not fall to your sins," he said.

“Well, not as long as you're around, no. But can you drop the whole sins thing? It's not bad to have fun, bro," said Sean. By now, Michael's pawns had surrounded them and formed an impenetrable barrier of bodies. He looked around, unconcerned. “...do this many people seriously go here? Huh. Wouldn't have guessed."

“What you do is not fun. Your very existence is depravity, it is an abomination. You siphon your sin directly into impressionable humans and draw them further from the light."

“I dunno, man. Seems like you're the one who's not doing what he's supposed to right now," Sean shrugged.

“Silence!" Michael roared, his voice amplified by the sea of people around them repeating the word at the same time.

Sean looked up at him, saying nothing.

“You have no taunts left? No sins remaining to draw in those most vulnerable? Very well," said Michael. “Then let us be done with this once and for all."

“Huh, I was actually thinking the same thing, Not-Professor Michael!" Sean grinned. He then sighed. “Sucks I gotta like, actually do something but I guess it's worth it if it means everything can be fun again."

Michael's eyes narrowed. “What are you talking about?" he asked.

Sean slowly began to walk forward. “You know who I am, right? I mean, you called me the Black Ram so you've gotta. This form tends to go boom and stuff if I try to do anything, so you'll see anyway, but, like…you do know, right?"

“How could I not? The number of those who could give off such a nauseating stench is extremely small," he replied calmly. Still, Sean noticed he had backed up in the air just slightly.

“Wow, you're either super confident or super dumb. Wonder which it is." As Sean walked, purple fire appeared at his feet. It slowly traveled upwards, burning away his disguise and changing his skin from its usual tan to a deep black covered in even darker wool. His sandals vanished and the nails on his feet grew long and sharp, like claws, and gleaming silver bands appeared around both of his legs. The fire reached his waist and arms, and his hands gained sharp nails while two more silver bands appeared around his biceps, one on each arm. It burned away his clothing, revealing more pitch black wool covering his body, and then enveloped his head, changing it from a human's to the head of a ram with long, thick horns and red slitted eyes. It then wrapped itself around his body and solidified into a deep purple sleeveless robe, much shorter than Michael's, that left his right shoulder and part of his chest bare. The few remaining embers flew to his head and became a gleaming silver circlet.

“Disgusting," Michael growled. He raised his hand. “At least you won't be an eyesore for long. Destroy the sinner!"

The crowd roared and charged towards him, the light in their eyes growing in intensity. In response, Sean calmly raised his own arm into the air and snapped his fingers just before his first attacker's lunge was about to connect. In an instant, a wave of purple energy blasted from his fingers and forced the sea of controlled humans backwards with such great force the ground trembled. A thick book bound in purple and black materialized at the origin point of the blast and gently fell into Sean's open hand.

“Still you defy your purification! Why!? Why does no one understand they are tainted and broken!? Why does no one accept assistance!?" Michael snapped.

Sean shook his head. “Maybe because what you think of as broken, the rest of us think of as just…existing. If you'd let me show you-"

He spread his wings wide and thrust his arms to the sides. “Enough! I will not be taken in by your lies! So do me a favor and burn in the Hell you came from, demon!" he shrieked. The eyes on each wing began to glow with a great, terrible light. An intense beam shot from each one directly towards Sean, their heat alone more than most humans could stand.

Sean's book opened and flipped through its many pages on its own. Rules, yelling, and people telling him he wasn't doing things right. That sort of thing was exactly why he left in the first place, but at least now he was in a position to do something about it besides run.

“Indis alaum vo protaxa!" Sean chanted, stretching his hand out towards the incoming beams. A large ring of purple fire appeared between him and the light, stopping it with a crash. It pushed against the barrier, and Michael's face contorted with effort as he used both hands to push the light further, but the ring refused to do so much as crack. Finally, the light scattered and shot upwards into the clouds where they pierced the darkness and let the sun's natural light shine through in soft beams. One made its way directly towards Michael and went straight through the eye on one of his wings. He screamed and the wing began to writhe as if it had a life of its own.

“You…you…!" he seethed, breathing heavily while light dripped like blood from the hole in his wing.

“Yeah. Me," said Sean. His book flipped through the pages once again. When it had stopped, he pointed his hand at Michael.

“You think you can kill me…!? I'm an angel, a being of purity and grace, and you're nothing but a prince of sinners!" Michael snarled.

He shook his head. “No. I've got another idea, and trust me, I don't have those often. I think it'd be better if you saw things my way for a bit. Maybe came down to Earth and talked to us."

If there was any color left in Michael's face, it would have instantly drained out of him. He backed up again. “W-wait…what are you planning to do!? Tell me, demon!"

There was no need to answer. He'd find out soon enough anyway.

“Expe rautus ibisum!"

A beam of dark purple light that flickered like fire burst from his hand and struck Michael. As he screamed, the light grew brighter, slowly enveloping everything and everyone around them until there was nothing else…

***

Sean groaned. The effort of waking up was almost never worth it, but this was especially true after having to actually do some work. He wasn't even sure how long he'd been out, and the only reason he knew he'd fallen asleep at all was an extremely vague memory of teleporting back to his dorm room and immediately collapsing onto his bed. He didn't even bother changing back into his human form. That was too much to deal with.

He opened his eyes. He could hear something from downstairs. Bangs and yells and rhythmic thumps. It could only be one thing-

Sean immediately hoisted himself off his bed and ran out of his room, taking the stairs two steps at a time. He was right: it was now nighttime, and while he slept, someone had started an incredible party. The music was already head-pounding loud, someone had managed to find more of the beer barrels, and best of all, both Adrian and Lily were on one of the longer tables, both dancing enthusiastically and both only technically dressed.

“Hey! Glad to see you two are back to being fun!" he grinned, hurrying up to them.

“Why would we not be, dude? This party isn't gonna have itself!" Lily laughed. She then winced. “My head does kinda hurt though, like I took a massive hit recently. Must have blacked out and fell."

“Yeah. Definitely that," said Sean quickly.

“Anyway, come on, man! Get up here! Just don't hit me with your horns, okay?"

“Wait. Why do you look like that? Something up with your human disguise?" Adrian asked.

Sean shrugged. “Not like you haven't all seen it before! Sometimes it's best to just wear your own skin, bro!"

Lily briefly paused her dance to high-five him. “Couldn't agree more! You down, Adrian?"

“Oh, I'm so down!" Adrian grinned as the crowd watching laughed and clapped.

“Uh, by the way," said Sean before the two could get lost in their fun, “you two seen Michael anywhere? You know, that guy who you said filled in for your professors?"

Adrian nodded and pointed upwards. “Huh? Michael? I don't know what you're talking about with the whole professor thing, but yeah, I think I saw him upstairs. He said he'd be down soon-oh, there he is!"

A pale young man in his early twenties with brown hair and wearing only his glasses and shorts ran into the room while holding up another barrel. Where they kept finding these was something Sean felt he would never know, but he definitely wasn't complaining.

“Guess who found another!" he grinned, holding it up triumphantly.

“Nice! So, uh…how are you feeling, man?" Sean asked.

He set the barrel down and sat on it. “Amazing! It's like I had this weird brain fog for ages and I just couldn't think about anything except school, and now it's just gone! Pretty weird, right?"

“Dude, I totally know what you mean! I dreamt that I was studying the other day! Studying!" Lily laughed.

“Woah, you too?" Adrian asked. “I had a dream I was like, a total loser! I studied and went to bed early! And I wore pajamas!"

Horrified gasps immediately rippled through the crowd.

“Well, stop thinking about all that lame stuff! Michael, Sean, get up here! There's just enough room for two more!" Lily grinned.

Sean grabbed the beer barrel as Michael hopped up and began dancing. After quickly downing the entire thing to thunderous applause, he climbed onto the table and joined his friends. Admittedly, he didn't expect the spell on Michael to go quite as far as it did; he thought it would just make him human for a while, but it seemed to have removed his memories of being an angel and severely turned down his inhibition levels, neither of which were what Sean thought would happen. With Michael's angelic nature gone, everyone's memories of him as their professor, as well as what they saw while under his control, also seemed to have vanished.

Again, not what he was going for but it worked.

More importantly, he wasn't entirely sure how long it'd last, but it wasn't meant to be forever anyway. It'd just show Michael how fun and amazing humans could be without his self-consciousness blocking it. Even if he went right back to the whole “purging" thing after, it was what it was. For now, Sean had a new friend, all his old friends were back to normal and having the time of their lives, and he was back where he belonged once again. He wasn't meant to be the one saving the day; he'd leave that to the actual superheroes and vigilantes like Envious, or like that rock lady over in Diamond City. He wasn't supposed to be fighting off angels with complexes who go rogue; there were both angels and demons whose job it was to deal with that. No, he was right where he needed to be: on top of a table, dancing his heart out with the humans he cared about.

What else was there in life, really?