(STORY TIME! :D)

There are moments in our lives, where it could be said that we lose a little bit of ourselves. Few are the times though one pulls through, and comes out the other side something entirely different. We all live lives of change whether we like it or not, and for the most part, we adapt to survive.

But, for all that we build and develop in our lives, it seems a little off, how easily all of that building can be stripped away. Our core left naked and tattered by the holes of what has abandoned us.

I suppose the reason behind this all has to do with my state, one year ago today. Why I am bringing it up again.

I too was left with next to nothing. My family, all of my friends, my home, and one I had been willing to change so deeply for. All of it, taken bit by bit until there was nothing left, despite how I fought. It was a very, very hard time for me.

How I got out of that gutter, and back onto my feet, to continue marching as I always had before. That is the point of this all, because looking back, I can't help but think.

I was in a dark place. My thoughts filled with regrets and half hearted ideas, but no will to pursue them. I was more alone then than I have been before or since... And I wanted to be alone. I wanted so much to be alone, because, when you are alone, there is no one to hurt you but yourself... But, it was odd. This idea kept pestering me at the back of my mind. And given time, I entertained it. The thought of someone carefree and fun, but thoughtful. An explorer~ Many traits of who I used to be. Who I wanted to be again. I was looking at a reflection of myself, but, skewed. And so, this other me, grabbed hold of me, and dragged me out of the mud mentally.

I gave him more and more of the qualities that I enjoyed, and let stick what fit. And given more time, I was able to concoct a name for him that I felt was just completely perfect.

Denkou

Denkou was this dark dimension travelling thing. He hopped into the shadows, and suddenly he was somewhere else. Somewhere he had never been before~ Somewhere, I had never seen before. He roamed these shadowy planes, searching for, channeling, manipulating, and feeding from the various energies he found~ He did what he pleased and was bold about it, but was a friendly thing save for the occasional locals he might take~

It wasn't until later, curiosity struck me~ It seemed that Denkou translated to lightning. And later still, a friend showed me the Kanji for Denkou.

??

Which of course translates quite literally to Lightning. But its characters can be used to describe electricity, electric light, electric engeneering. All things to do with energy.

Now, I am not one to believe in higher powers or anything of that nature really, and I know it is just coincidence... But, it seemed odd to me, that I had made up a name for my character, that was in fact a word, that had to do with one of the main things he was good at in a language I do not know. And had furthermore, before I discovered the translation, decided that Denkou's kind would be named for things significant to their abilities and experiences.

This story is entirely true. And while I developed Denkou to be me, or, moreso, for me to emulate. To try to be myself again. He has grown into something on his own, and I don't need him any more to stand on my own. Denkou is more like a best friend than me now. But, I feel somehow, that I did not make him up, so much as he allowed me to find him. And now that I have grown strong again, I feel like he can be free again.

I know that it is all coincidence. I was looking, stretching for something then. It's logical. But, it is still interesting to me, the coincidence.

I am sorry for dragging such personal thoughts out in the open, but now you all know more of what this day means to me, as I continue to explore.