Illusion
"I can't be her mother. I was never supposed to be a mother to anyone." Antonia gasped through the tears. Her hand ran down her side to where the scars lay that had left her barren, raised skin against the otherwise smooth form of her stomach. "But she looks at me with those eyes that beg me to pick her up and tell her I am."
"Emilia doesn't understand that. She's still a child, barely 12." Dusk told her gently. "She loves you because you've been there for her when her real mother wasn't."
"I can't be a mother!" She all but screamed, but her voice was too hoarse for it to come out as anything other than a croak. Her body shuddered as her hands went around herself. "Our whole people are dying and I can't be a mother to any of us. In a few generations we'll all be gone...and you will too."
Her form, small and usually proud but now so frail, shivered in the air of the autumn park. The cold she felt only seemed to deepen the chill of dread that gripped her in this moment.
Two strong arms circled around her, and she was pulled back against his solid frame, a rock in the storm that stood unmoving.
"I learnt the hard way not to be afraid of death, Nightsail..." Dusk told her
Antonia choked, a weak and pitiful sound at the hearing of her true name, the one her people gave her, divined from prophecy. It hurt because he knew how special it was. It was her in her entirety, just like his own true name was him.
"Because a life without loss, is one without love." He buried his head in her hair, and she gripped the hands at her chest that held her close.
"The longer you look away from it, the longer its shadow becomes...until it covers everything you see." He said. Her breathing came in short, pained gasps, like that of a woman run through by a blade and desperately holding on to life.
"Only when we face it, and embrace what we love can we let go of that fear...and come back into the light."
Her lips curved in a weak smile, the tears falling to stain his hand that she held onto so tightly now. She loved him so much despite everything that gnawed at them throughout life, but he was still here despite that. Never once in their life, their friendship, their unfathomable relationship that was more than friends, shared in bed and in small loving moments but never materializing as lovers, never had he lost sight of her. Not even when she deserved it. Not even when he'd deserved it.
"Please don't cry anymore..." He whispered, and she felt the weakness in him held back by only the strength of will to carry on. A shiver in his stoic form that held fast with her pressed against him. She felt, in this moment, that her place in the world that she so often felt deserted by, was here...
---
I know it's hard to tell how mixed up you feel
Hoping what you need is behind every door
Each time you get hurt, I don't want you to change
Because everyone has hopes, you're human after all
The feeling sometimes, wishing you were someone else
Feeling as though you never belong
This feeling is not sadness, this feeling is not joy
I truly understand. Please, don't cry now
- VNV Nation - Illusion
"Emilia doesn't understand that. She's still a child, barely 12." Dusk told her gently. "She loves you because you've been there for her when her real mother wasn't."
"I can't be a mother!" She all but screamed, but her voice was too hoarse for it to come out as anything other than a croak. Her body shuddered as her hands went around herself. "Our whole people are dying and I can't be a mother to any of us. In a few generations we'll all be gone...and you will too."
Her form, small and usually proud but now so frail, shivered in the air of the autumn park. The cold she felt only seemed to deepen the chill of dread that gripped her in this moment.
Two strong arms circled around her, and she was pulled back against his solid frame, a rock in the storm that stood unmoving.
"I learnt the hard way not to be afraid of death, Nightsail..." Dusk told her
Antonia choked, a weak and pitiful sound at the hearing of her true name, the one her people gave her, divined from prophecy. It hurt because he knew how special it was. It was her in her entirety, just like his own true name was him.
"Because a life without loss, is one without love." He buried his head in her hair, and she gripped the hands at her chest that held her close.
"The longer you look away from it, the longer its shadow becomes...until it covers everything you see." He said. Her breathing came in short, pained gasps, like that of a woman run through by a blade and desperately holding on to life.
"Only when we face it, and embrace what we love can we let go of that fear...and come back into the light."
Her lips curved in a weak smile, the tears falling to stain his hand that she held onto so tightly now. She loved him so much despite everything that gnawed at them throughout life, but he was still here despite that. Never once in their life, their friendship, their unfathomable relationship that was more than friends, shared in bed and in small loving moments but never materializing as lovers, never had he lost sight of her. Not even when she deserved it. Not even when he'd deserved it.
"Please don't cry anymore..." He whispered, and she felt the weakness in him held back by only the strength of will to carry on. A shiver in his stoic form that held fast with her pressed against him. She felt, in this moment, that her place in the world that she so often felt deserted by, was here...
---
I know it's hard to tell how mixed up you feel
Hoping what you need is behind every door
Each time you get hurt, I don't want you to change
Because everyone has hopes, you're human after all
The feeling sometimes, wishing you were someone else
Feeling as though you never belong
This feeling is not sadness, this feeling is not joy
I truly understand. Please, don't cry now
- VNV Nation - Illusion
4 years ago
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