Connection Terminated (+ small Story)
[i]"Good evening, Channel 7 viewers.
Our top story tonight:
Chaos struck the city center earlier today as the headquarters of the local internet provider was demolished by a large, lizard-like paw. Eyewitnesses state that the dragon descended from above and dealt the final blow with enough force to shatter windows five blocks away. A local Sergal strategist, seen nearby, may have been coordinating the large-scale attack. Sources claim they were heard saying, 'Just a tiny bit more towards me' moments before the impact.
The state government assures citizens that this incident is being taken very seriously. An emergency response team is currently assessing the crater. At this time, they aren't labeling it a terrorist attack, but rather a, quote,... [u][b]high-impact infrastructure disagreement[/b][/u]. Reports confirm that the entity responsible for the attack was a dragon, as eyewitness reports have shown reptilian features, such as scales with vibrant, glowing accents. There are no reports about the creature being state-sanctioned.
Online reactions were swift and divided. Several hashtags have been trending for several hours:[/i]
- User [b]FiberFighter69[/b] said [i]"They couldn't fix my internet for 3 weeks. The dragon fixed the whole building in less than 3 seconds. Efficiency. #PawOfJustice #PressFtoFiber #FiberFlattened."[/i]
- [b]ConspiracyFox42[/b] said [i]"this is why we shouldn't put 5G towers near ancient dragon slumber zones. I warned y'all. #5G #Apawcalypse"[/i]
- User [b]WreckItWyvern[/b] said [i]"That dragon stomped with the force of a thousand dropped calls and millions of lost packets. #PawOfJustice"[/i]
- [b]TooTiredForThis[/b] said [i]"Honestly? Let that dragon run tech support. Bet he'd at least actually show up within a 4-hour window. #StompSupport #DragonHelpdesk"[/i]
- The company [b]WestVPN[/b] stated [i]"VPNs can't save you from packet loss if all servers are nothing more than debris in a paw crater. #PawOfJustice #OfflineForever"[/i]
- And user [b]DramaBytes[/b] said [i]"Live FOOTage of the dragon walking away, leaving the former building behind in rubble? That's my new aesthetic. The city needed a reboot anyway. #404BuildingNotFound #BossExit #OneStompMan"[/i]
[i]Some users arranged a change.org petition to [b]'let the dragon finish the job'[/b], which has already reached 87,000 signatures. Their official statement says [b]"If they can stomp fiber into the ground, they can stomp competence back into it too."[/b]
A user on the Steam Workshop has already uploaded a model of the ISP's former headquarters as a mod for Cities: Skylines titled [b]"Paw of Justice - Adds a stompable ISP HQ to your city. Dragon not included."[/b]
Several short-form video-creators on TikTok have uploaded a breakdown of the stomp-footage analyzing it frame by frame, calling it [b]"The Anatomy of a perfect Stomp"[/b], while other more conspiracy-focused creators deem the incident to be an attack on free speech, with the dragon being a tool by the deep-state to erase all means of communication and to destroy evidence.
T-Shirts with the imprint [b]"I got stomped and all I got was better ping."[/b] or hoodies with a large silhouette of a dragon paw print on them labeled as [b]"Certified Infrastructure Reboot Agent'[/b] have been spotted in several merch shops so far.
And online-star TechyFox has already spoken about a new episode of his Podcast with the title [b]"Stomped IRL - Is this the end of Fiber?"[/b] announcing a long rant about how giant dragons might solve all customer service problems with just their paws.
Famous satire site [b]The Onion[/b] has posted an article about the incident: [b]"Dragon offers to flatten more ISPs for the modest price of worldwide worship"[/b] and we are still debating about if we just read a satire article or the actual truth.
We attempted to contact the dragon for a statement. Our message was... acknowledged with a single, deliberate stomp - on the courier.
While authorities continue to investigate the incident, citizens are advised to stay indoors, avoid dragon-sized footprints and not engage with any glowing-eyed dark Sergals promising [b]'faster internet'[/b]. Was this destruction the end? Or just the first [b]ping[/b] of something far greater? Whatever it might be, if you see a giant, scaled claw hovering above your neighborhood, maybe... I don't know... apologize to your router.
This is Channel 7 signing off - unless a large claw comes crashing through the ceiling. In that case... #ConnectionTerminated."[/i]
________________________________
Recently, there was a construction company at Reiko_Reyshidera's home, and they damaged their fiber internet cable that was placed there by the company 'Deutsche Glasfaser' years ago. Things like that can certainly happen, but if I tell you that he's been without internet since a month now, because this crappy company didn't manage to fix it with dozens of attempts and visits with them, yet also didn't give them a compensation for having some mobile internet at least, you can see the frustration in this situation.
That's where your local giant [b]Certified Infrastructure Reboot Agent[/b]™ comes into play >;3
I've had similar issues with ISPs in the past (as you can see HERE which might've inspired him to this idea), so I know the frustration.
And yes, that demolition machine is a pure decoy, so no one looks up and runs away when they see my dark sole looming in the skies already! I know my craft well enough, trust me~
Just look how happy I am with my work! You can't be mad at such a happy derg, right? :D
Art made by Reiko_Reyshidera
Helpful, stompy Infrastructure Reboot Agent © to
Our top story tonight:
Chaos struck the city center earlier today as the headquarters of the local internet provider was demolished by a large, lizard-like paw. Eyewitnesses state that the dragon descended from above and dealt the final blow with enough force to shatter windows five blocks away. A local Sergal strategist, seen nearby, may have been coordinating the large-scale attack. Sources claim they were heard saying, 'Just a tiny bit more towards me' moments before the impact.
The state government assures citizens that this incident is being taken very seriously. An emergency response team is currently assessing the crater. At this time, they aren't labeling it a terrorist attack, but rather a, quote,... [u][b]high-impact infrastructure disagreement[/b][/u]. Reports confirm that the entity responsible for the attack was a dragon, as eyewitness reports have shown reptilian features, such as scales with vibrant, glowing accents. There are no reports about the creature being state-sanctioned.
Online reactions were swift and divided. Several hashtags have been trending for several hours:[/i]
- User [b]FiberFighter69[/b] said [i]"They couldn't fix my internet for 3 weeks. The dragon fixed the whole building in less than 3 seconds. Efficiency. #PawOfJustice #PressFtoFiber #FiberFlattened."[/i]
- [b]ConspiracyFox42[/b] said [i]"this is why we shouldn't put 5G towers near ancient dragon slumber zones. I warned y'all. #5G #Apawcalypse"[/i]
- User [b]WreckItWyvern[/b] said [i]"That dragon stomped with the force of a thousand dropped calls and millions of lost packets. #PawOfJustice"[/i]
- [b]TooTiredForThis[/b] said [i]"Honestly? Let that dragon run tech support. Bet he'd at least actually show up within a 4-hour window. #StompSupport #DragonHelpdesk"[/i]
- The company [b]WestVPN[/b] stated [i]"VPNs can't save you from packet loss if all servers are nothing more than debris in a paw crater. #PawOfJustice #OfflineForever"[/i]
- And user [b]DramaBytes[/b] said [i]"Live FOOTage of the dragon walking away, leaving the former building behind in rubble? That's my new aesthetic. The city needed a reboot anyway. #404BuildingNotFound #BossExit #OneStompMan"[/i]
[i]Some users arranged a change.org petition to [b]'let the dragon finish the job'[/b], which has already reached 87,000 signatures. Their official statement says [b]"If they can stomp fiber into the ground, they can stomp competence back into it too."[/b]
A user on the Steam Workshop has already uploaded a model of the ISP's former headquarters as a mod for Cities: Skylines titled [b]"Paw of Justice - Adds a stompable ISP HQ to your city. Dragon not included."[/b]
Several short-form video-creators on TikTok have uploaded a breakdown of the stomp-footage analyzing it frame by frame, calling it [b]"The Anatomy of a perfect Stomp"[/b], while other more conspiracy-focused creators deem the incident to be an attack on free speech, with the dragon being a tool by the deep-state to erase all means of communication and to destroy evidence.
T-Shirts with the imprint [b]"I got stomped and all I got was better ping."[/b] or hoodies with a large silhouette of a dragon paw print on them labeled as [b]"Certified Infrastructure Reboot Agent'[/b] have been spotted in several merch shops so far.
And online-star TechyFox has already spoken about a new episode of his Podcast with the title [b]"Stomped IRL - Is this the end of Fiber?"[/b] announcing a long rant about how giant dragons might solve all customer service problems with just their paws.
Famous satire site [b]The Onion[/b] has posted an article about the incident: [b]"Dragon offers to flatten more ISPs for the modest price of worldwide worship"[/b] and we are still debating about if we just read a satire article or the actual truth.
We attempted to contact the dragon for a statement. Our message was... acknowledged with a single, deliberate stomp - on the courier.
While authorities continue to investigate the incident, citizens are advised to stay indoors, avoid dragon-sized footprints and not engage with any glowing-eyed dark Sergals promising [b]'faster internet'[/b]. Was this destruction the end? Or just the first [b]ping[/b] of something far greater? Whatever it might be, if you see a giant, scaled claw hovering above your neighborhood, maybe... I don't know... apologize to your router.
This is Channel 7 signing off - unless a large claw comes crashing through the ceiling. In that case... #ConnectionTerminated."[/i]
________________________________
Recently, there was a construction company at Reiko_Reyshidera's home, and they damaged their fiber internet cable that was placed there by the company 'Deutsche Glasfaser' years ago. Things like that can certainly happen, but if I tell you that he's been without internet since a month now, because this crappy company didn't manage to fix it with dozens of attempts and visits with them, yet also didn't give them a compensation for having some mobile internet at least, you can see the frustration in this situation.
That's where your local giant [b]Certified Infrastructure Reboot Agent[/b]™ comes into play >;3
I've had similar issues with ISPs in the past (as you can see HERE which might've inspired him to this idea), so I know the frustration.
And yes, that demolition machine is a pure decoy, so no one looks up and runs away when they see my dark sole looming in the skies already! I know my craft well enough, trust me~
Just look how happy I am with my work! You can't be mad at such a happy derg, right? :D
Art made by Reiko_Reyshidera
Helpful, stompy Infrastructure Reboot Agent © to
9 months ago
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