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chapter 2 : day before
Title can't be empty.
Title can't be empty.
Chapter 2
Brigit pov
“Are you crazy or do you have bricks for brains ” I told the colonel that was leading us to undiscovered . Island, dumping or discarding the chemical me and my team and had created. To burn any metal on earth expect for one thing it didn’t and it didn’t even burn though plastic , cotton, nothing. It was pretty sad for us, the scientists and other military that fund the research us to make chemical to burn though. Thick metal and we fail big time, “your team fail your lucky you’re not fired “he yelled out at me in front of 5 other solders. That I was going with to “discard” this chemical on an island, this was so wrong. We didn’t know what it will do to the island and to the animals or to the plants, even the worse part. The water which everyone lives off, the plants and the animals.
Which I though they understand even that but no, “go get your gear on retch” I rolled my eyes at him I hated my last name so much. I change into my gear, a loose dark green jumpsuit, black hiking boots and I had put over a bullet free vest. In case we were attack, unlikely still, the island had not been disoved by anyone expect us. After I grab my field bag, pretty much was a small green book bag with my notebook and my camera to take pictures. In case we saw something interesting , as I walk to cargo helicopter army used I saw the 25, 12 gallon black shiny metal. Barrel’s inside was the Chemical I named Furconfluoine just because it sound good and cool.
There was no warning label also, every test we put it though, nothing happen. I got on the helicopter I got an empty seat soon I plug my headphones in and I just black out everyone and every sound. As they load up the barrels up and as we, more like me I was forced to drop them and forget them. Forever like that was going to work for me, soon we were in the air as I listen. To my ipod I saw the beaufuil sight, from traveling from our island base to the island. That was really close bye, it was beaufuil and huge I thought it was small little island.
That undiscovered that had not given a name yet, soon we landed as I did I held to my. Gray belt for dear life, I hated flying so bad, thank god we landed quickly. Some of the solders chuckled at my state as we landed, I grab my bag as we got off the helicopter. After we safely, got off and started to walk and look though the island. We finally found a flat land of the island and not near the river, the solders began to place. The large barrels, I check each one making sure they don’t leak, I started to feel anxious .towards end of dumping the chemical here safely as they placed the last barrel I saw a large white fur cow. It made me stop in my tracks, the cow let out a loud mooing sound before running off. Than we were call by our pilot we headed back to the helicopter, all I could think was we just made a huge mistake.
Unknown pov
As the human left the island quickly as they came, couple playful apes were playing. With each as they did they. Got close to the barrel's knock over one which fell down the steep hill. Than crashed into a large boulder which caused the metal to cut open. The chemical, leak though the broken barrel, than slowly the teal color chemical leak than went into the river slowly. As it went into the water, became the same color as the water, river went into the waterfall than into the ocean. The unknown chemical was in the water system now, as dawn set all the animal came to. River began to drink from it, even the grown female cow before she began her cries before sleeping.
9 years ago
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"Furconfluoine that was designed for warfare but it didn't really do nothing. When tested in flied"
(flied= field, Yes?)
but it didn't really do nothing" implies that it DID something, (use of a double negative infers a positive in this case "Didn't Do Nothing" but that is a grammar issue no big deal) the sentence could have been written a but more descriptively, remember, we writers are trying to "Paint Vivid Word Pictures'' in our reader's minds.
try for something like this...
"The Large black metal barrels hastily loaded aboard the choppers were stenciled in bright Yellow lettering [Furconfluoine] a hellish nightmare cooked up by the back room boys in the black ops Bio-warfare division from a base so secret that Santa Clause couldn't even find it. The developers promised a new devastating weapon but the Field tests were a complete bust The eggheads in charge concluded it was totally ineffective. So it was up to the 'Scrubber Squad' to discreetly depose of this multi-million dollar fiasco before someone back home caught wind of it."
Now That paint's a vivid image in your reader's mind, yes?
if you'd like help, PM me.
Write On!
--Rick
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I added chp 3 check it out
being a writer myself i enjoy helping out new writers and encourage you to ...Write On!
do you see this as transforming the local fauna into anthropomorphic versions of their former selves?
i look forward to reading whatever you care to write and post.
here is a tip i find very helpful with my own writing: try using the "Text-to-Speech" function of your word processor to read back what you write. if you do not have that on the program you use then try open office it is a free one that has that function.
Write On!
--Rick