"Where you heading?" asked HotSauce while stirring his drink around.

"Don't know," I lied. I covered it by taking a long draw from mine through a straw. HotSauce drank from his, straight from the tall glass as only a human could without spilling half of it all over their uniform.

He didn't seem satisfied with my non-answer. "C'mon Wolverine, you gotta have some idea."

"Why you want to know? You want to come with me?" I asked, in a tone that probably sounded more hostile than I meant it to. I'd learned pretty quick that my normal voice sounded threatening to most humans. But HotSauce should have been used to it.

He looked away. I snorted. He did want to come with me. And he didn't even know where I planned to go. I guess I couldn't blame him. The squadron was breaking up now that the war and the parades were over. As war heroes we'd been given indefinite leave and even custody of our Starwing fighters. We could go anywhere we wanted in Alliance space. Or even out of it. Who would stop us? Most were already gone like leaves in the wind. A few stayed and took the easy high-status jobs with Alliance command that were offered. I was still trying to talk myself out of what I wanted to do. And here was HotSauce, trying to keep some small part of our pilot clan together.

The silence between us was getting awkward. For HotSauce, anyway. I'd been living among humans for long enough to know that they didn't much like social silence. I offered, "You just want to ride my tail fur, and catch all the females that slide off me."

He chuckled, "I still don't get how you do it. Fuckin' aliens man."

It was my turn to laugh, a low throaty noise that turned a few heads in the dockside bar. "You got that right. Fuckin' aliens," I repeated, taking his words literally. In reality not many human females found me attractive enough to want to find out what I was like out of uniform. And maybe they didn't really find me attractive. Just different and interesting. Unlike HotSauce, who despite his spicy-sounding callsign was thin and wiry and almost furless. My complete opposite.

"So where you heading?" he asked again.

I rubbed the bridge of my muzzle. "If I said Argentum, would you leave it be?"

He shook his head. "You're not going there. I can't imagine you lying on a beach, even a nude one. And unless you sell your Starwing you don't have the money to stay there more than a couple months."

I took another long drink from my straw, swallowed. He was still staring at me, waiting for me to answer.

I huffed and finally said, "I think I'm going to go home."

He raised his eyebrows and sat up straighter. "Really? Back to Lerk? I thought you--"

"Lrrkh," I corrected him, though he probably couldn't say it right without a lot of practice.

"That's what I said," he grinned. "Anyway I thought you told everyone that you were never going back there."

"Yeah, I did," I said, then set my drink on the bar and wiped the condensation off my palm onto the leg of my uniform.

"But..." prompted HotSauce.

I growled, "But it's been 12 years since I left with the Alliance recruiters. Who knows how many years it's been on Lrrkh. Yours feel longer than ours."

"You miss your family, I guess."

"I miss seeing other Lrrkh'un. There were about fifteen of us that bought the propaganda and volunteered to help the Alliance. And they broke us up, sent us all over. I never saw a single one of them again." I could feel my voice getting louder, edging into that sound that made humans nervous. I caught the bartender staring, probably wondering if he was going to need to call the MPs.

"Sorry, Wolverine. I guess I can't imagine what--"

"No, you can't."

HotSauce didn't argue. I wondered if he'd just up and leave, tired of my surly mood. I found I didn't actually want him to. The clan was scattering, falling apart. We were left to find a new one. Or an old one.

"You regret leaving everything behind?" he asked, unable to leave it, or me alone.

"Hell no. I got to help save the galaxy. You furless idiots never would have managed it without me." Then I gave him one of my big smiles, all sharp white teeth against my dark-furred muzzle. The kind that most humans don't know how to interpret.

He laughed. He knew me, maybe better than those I left behind. If my idea didn't pan out, maybe it would be good to have someone watching my six.

"Still want to come with me?" I asked, making the offer.

He asked, "Do you think your women will be into this?" while gesturing with both hands at himself.

I rattled the bartender again with a roaring laugh. "No. And you would need medical treatment after."

"Challenge accepted!" he said, raising his drink.

I retrieved my glass and clinked it against his in the human custom. "Ok, you are a fool, but it might be, hrrmmh, easier with you along."

"I'm your wingman 'til the end, Wolverine."

*****

We jumped in off the ecliptic like we had into dozens of other star systems. It felt like one of our scouting missions, as it was just our two Starwings. No giant fleet carriers or battlecruisers or picket ships. Space and stars looked the same no matter where you might be, and the initial awe I had felt leaving my world for the first time was a distant memory.

Still, the bright orange star that greeted us somehow felt different, though it was probably all in my mind. But just maybe there was something in the light signature that registered with my brain. Home star. Everything I was, I owed to Tarl. We didn't worship the sun or anything like that. Not anymore anyway. But we respected it for being the source of life on our world.

We had linked up and synched our mini-jumps towards the inner system, towards Lrrkh. Tarl blazed bright enough that I had to avoid looking at it. HotSauce's voice came in through my cockpit speaker.

"So what's Lrrkh mean, anyway?"

He still couldn't say it right. Or any of the other phrases I had been trying to teach him during the lulls between jumps.

I explained, "It sort of means like a... foundation stone. Something stable you build on top of. But not exactly. It's an old word. Now it just means the world."

"Kind of like Earth, I guess."

"I thought earth just meant dirt."

"Yeah it does but like you said, it's different. Dirt is... well it's dirty. It's something you don't want on your clothes, right? But earth, that's what you grow food in."

I gruffed my agreement. "One more jump and we'll be there."

"You ready?"

"No," I admitted.

"What are you worried about? You're a war hero! I thought you were all brave warriors on your planet. They'll love you. Maybe we'll get another parade after they hear about out what we did."

I snorted. "They won't give a shit about the war. They think actual fighting is the result of a 'failure to communicate'. So we may look all scary and mean to you skinsacks, but mostly we just look threatening to each other until it's agreed who is right, and no one gets their belly clawed open. If you end up in an actual brawl you get cut and you get shunned."

"So why'd you join up?"

"Because of the damned propaganda they came selling. The Gestalt wasn't something that was going to just agree to be wrong, no matter how much strength the Alliance showed. It doesn't think like us. Or you. Or whatever. And if someone didn't do something about it, when it got to Lrrkh it would have 'cleansed' the whole place from orbit like it did to all those other planets. And then there would be no more Lrrkh'un anywhere, ever. I couldn't stop thinking about that."

"So uh, how'd your family take your decision to leave?"

"Oh I think you can guess."

"And that's why you're worried about going back."

"Yeah."

"I get it, Wolverine. I still think this is a good idea, though. Maybe they'll change their minds about joining the Alliance if they hear about it from you."

"Don't count on it. This could still all go sideways."

"You worried about a hostile reception before we even make orbit? I'm not picking up any system patrols, almost no radio transmissions except from the planet itself."

"You won't. And don't bother requesting clearance or insertion vectors. There's no one to answer you."

"Whoa, just how primitive are you people?"

"Hey! Not every race follows the same path, ok? We're just as smart as any other species in the Alliance. We just had different... you know. Priorities."

"Just hard for me to imagine a bunch of wolverines as like... pacifist warrior philosophers or something."

"Tch. Humans. Just because you had some wild animal that sort of looks like us--"

"Looks exactly like you. It's spooky."

"No, they don't really. Ok, a little. The dark fur around the muzzle and the shape of... anyway the point is you all are so quick to classify everything as soon as you see it. Put it in a little box with a label and never ever change that label if you can help it."

"Got us all figured out, then?"

"Wasn't hard, HotSauce."

His turn to snort now. "Now who's putting who in a box?"

"Hmmph. Point. But when we get down there, let me do the talking," I warned.

"You got it, Captain. It's your party, I'm just the wingman."

*****

I wasn't there when the Alliance ship had first landed. I was working in my father's warehouse, getting a shipment together to trade with one of the neighboring clans. Word of the arrival of aliens from another world spread fast, though, and I was mostly relieved to get off work early. It was summer, and too hot for working that hard. I hopped on a transport with brothers and sisters and cousins and whoever else would fit and we all rode to the city to see the visitors.

They had picked our city, they said, because it glowed brightest in the night, which pleased the clan elders at least. They could speak our language, mostly, which made us wonder how long they had been watching us. So we asked them. And they told us. The truth, it seemed. And we nodded and gruffed and thought they were funny-looking but sensible enough, as far as it went. So we asked them what they wanted.

And they told us. About the thing they called the Gestalt. The machines that were controlled by no one but acted as one mindless mind, endlessly harvesting entire worlds to make more of them or itself. Never talking, never threatening, never stopping. These humans and their Alliance were fighting the Gestalt, and they were losing. Well of course you are losing, the elders said. Fighting is a waste of energy. If you cannot match their strength, and you cannot reach an agreement, you lose or you get out of the their way.

It made sense to us at the time. We had never had a reason to look beyond our horizon, and we lived in a little walled garden, and had already worked out the best way to deal with the only possible threats in that garden- each other.

There will be nowhere out of the way, the humans countered. And the Lrrkh'un will all be exterminated, along with the humans and the dozens of other races that formed their Alliance.

So what do you want, the elders asked again, disturbed at this prophecy.

And the humans said they wanted our help.

The elders laughed. Help? What help could we possibly give to clans that can travel to other suns?

And they said because you are different than us. And that was the one thing that the Gestalt couldn't be. Different than itself. It was all the same, everywhere it was.

The elders nodded and gruffed and allowed that maybe there was wisdom there.

The humans invited all of Lrrkh to join the Alliance. But the elders of Clan Ulka said they couldn't speak for all of Lrrkh, only Clan Ulka. And even then they couldn't make any one Lrrkh'un join some alien clan.

The humans seemed like they were expecting that answer. They asked if they could stay until the end of the summer, and anyone who wished to join them, to help them fight the Gestalt, could leave with them then.

At the time, I thought they would go home without a single Lrrkh'un volunteer. The thought of being one myself was so incredible that it didn't even rise to the surface waters of my mind. But it was down there, lurking like a flatfish.

Now here I was, coming back from places that none of my clan could ever have imagined. What could I tell them that they would believe or understand? At least I had HotSauce with me. They'd seen humans before, and maybe since, but he was like a real part of that alien craziness out there. Living proof. Even if all he could say with any confidence was "Hello", "Thank you" and "Where's the loo". Well, those and a handful of obscene things that I shouldn't have taught him.

I didn't really want to deal with the clan elders or make a big impression like the Alliance had on that first contact mission. So I told HotSauce we'd be landing in a field near my mother's house. Word would get around pretty quick, and I wanted a little time before the crowds closed in to talk with my parents and siblings.

We came in slow and as quiet as a Starwing could be in an atmosphere, which isn't very quiet. But no supersonics at least. We set down in the field together in perfect unison, like it was a landing drill. Killed the engines and climbed down from the bellies of our craft and onto the crunchy frozen soil of the field. The wind blew through the remnants of whatever had been growing here during the brief summer.

The sound it made-- and the smell of the winter air-- I shivered, but not from the chill. The chill felt perfect. I crouched down and touched my bare fingerpads to the clods of soil. This is my earth, I thought. Where I was grown. I took a little chunk, rubbed and crushed it between two fingers, and brought it to my nose.

I could hear footsteps approaching from HotSauce's ship, as well as the tink-tink sound of metal rapidly cooling. I looked up, pulled out of my stunned wandering thoughts.

"Hey uh," he said while hugging his arms to himself. "You could have warned me to bring a jacket."

I grinned. "I didn't know what season it would be when we got here. But our winters are long." I shook my head and fluffed out the mane of fur that covered the back of my neck and shoulders. "We like it that way." My breath made little tendrils of fog as I spoke. I had forgotten about that.

"Yeah, I can see why y'all are covered in fur now."

"You could stay in your ship with the heater running, if you wanted," I offered.

"No, I meant what I said. I'm your wingman."

"It's not too far to the house," I motioned with my muzzle. "It'll be warmer inside. Not as warm as you probably like it, but you're a war hero. You'll manage." I grinned wider. I felt like jumping and running in circles around my ship and whooping. I even unzipped my uniform a little, baring some of the fur of my chest, reveling in the winter of my homeworld.

He rubbed his wrist across his reddening nose and nodded. "Lead the way," he said, eager to be off.

So was I. The house, as I had called it in English, was built into the side of a ridge and went deep underground for multiple levels. So from the outside it didn't look like much. On purpose, really. Homes were not meant to be impressive to anyone outside. It was the inside and those that were welcome there that mattered.

We walked across the rest of the field and onto a harvester path towards the ridge. No one was outside. It didn't occur to me to wonder why, I was busy looking around at the shapes of the trees, the muted colors of the landscape. HotSauce stayed quiet.

When we got to the door and I stopped, he finally asked, "So is there like a doorbell or something?"

I shook my head and pulled on the handle. The space inside was dark and I tilted my head, sniffing the air.

"Something wrong?" asked my wingman.

"Yeah. The out-room shouldn't be dark. Or this cold."

He clicked on the light built into his wrist-comp and so did I. Then we went inside.

I explained, "This place is supposed to be for the clanless, or anyone I guess, to shelter, get a little food and water. It's always open. But it's like the power's gone." I headed for the opposite door, the one that led into the actual house. It was open as well. Wide open.

"Looks like no one's home, Wolverine."

"Yeah," I agreed, distracted and worried. I headed into the house.

Just as dark and cold as the out-room, I swept my little light back and forth, into the rooms off the central hall. No sound execpt our own footsteps and breathing. No warmth. Just empty rooms with doors open and piles of random stuff on the floors. Like the place had been searched and looted many times. I had had a lot of ideas about what this moment of homecoming would be like, but none of them were like this. I stopped when I got to the main kitchen. The pantry was empty except for a bunch of torn-open containers. I didn't bother trying the water as it needed power to pump out of the cistern and I could see that there was none.

I knew HotSauce wanted to say something, but I was glad he kept his mouth shut. There wasn't anything he could say.

"We need to go to the Clanhall in the city, find out what happened here," I said, turning around and trying not to run back the way we came.

He said, "Roger that," and stayed silent all the way back to our Starwings.

*****

I hadn't wanted to land right in the city in the first place, but I needed to find out what had happened. So HotSauce and I set down right in the summer festival green, now brown and dry. It was in front of the Ulka Clanhall, its tiered conical roof towering above the other above-ground buildings in the city.

HotSauce somehow beat me climbing down to the ground with our engines still powering down with a trailing whine. Neither of us had bothered with the post-flight checklist this time. He was staring towards the bottom of the Clanhall when my feet hit the ground.

There was a reception coming to meet us. Four Lrrkh'ul. The first I had seen in more than 12 of my years. I watched them walk; they were hurrying but not running, but they still walked so different than humans. There's an undulating rhythm to it. The sight was almost hypnotic, even if they reminded me of how my father would march towards me with menace after I had done something wrong.

"I hope you know these guys," said HotSauce as he came over to stand with me at the base of my ladder.

"Yeah, same," I said, keeping my eyes on them.

He squared up next to me as they got to us, their breath fogging in the air from the little jog they had just done.

I tried to get their measure quick, as I wasn't sure what was going on. They were all wearing some kind of uniform I had never seen before-- Black longcoats with dark green crossed strips from shoulder to knee, like a big human letter X. And they were armed. Not with the projectile rifles we used to have for hunting wild meat. These looked like anti-personnel energy weapons, like the human security forces carried on the rougher worlds. I couldn't tell if they were Alliance-make or not from where I stood.

We were unarmed, because why would we ever need a sidearm as a fighter pilot? It's not like the Gestalt had ground troops. Didn't matter anyway, there were four of them, two of us. And one of us was a skinny furless idiot. Fighting would be pointless.

So I raised my hands and spread my fingers, claws forward, in greeting. "<Hey guys,>" I said. "<We were cruising by the planet and were wondering, where's the loo?>"

I heard HotSauce snort before he could stop himself. The last bit was for him.

One of the four started to raise his hands in response to my greeting but the one next to him smacked him in the shoulder and he dropped his arms back to his sides.

The one in front said to me, "<You will both come with us. If you try to get back into your space ships we will be forced to shoot you.>"

"<Forced, enh? Forced by who? Whose strength commands yours and where are they? I want to hear what they have to say.>"

"<You will,>" he promised. He had an accent I couldn't place. Not Ulka, or any of the nearby clans I remember.

"<I'm Ulka Wurra, son of Tilrru. And what I really want to know is where she and the rest of my clan is.>" I noted that one of them tilted his head and pricked his ears when I told them my name. The one who had almost returned my greeting.

The leader curled his lip and showed a few of his sharp teeth on one side in a malicious sort of half-smile. "<There is no clan Ulka. Or clan Surka. Or clan Serlekh. Or any clan besides Lrrkh.>"

He had the annoying confidence of a true believer. In what, I wasn't sure. But I got the meaning. No clan but Lrrkh. Things had changed while I was away. Someone must have managed to unite the planet into one clan. Though if they had to walk around with guns I wondered how united it really was. I lowered my hands and gruffed. "<If you say so, chief. Wouldn't want to keep whoever is forcing you to shoot us waiting. Lead the way. My friend here doesn't like our weather much.>"

He narrowed his eyes when I called him 'chief'. He didn't rate that and I knew it, and he knew that I knew it and-- anyway I was being kind of a jerk and I was disappointed that HotSauce couldn't understand it. Poor guy was just standing there wondering what was going on. The leader turned his back on me and started walking back to the Clanhall. Or whatever it was now that there was apparently no clan. The other three waited for us to follow and then fell in behind us when we did.

Hotsauce murmured to me in English, "Everything all right?"

"Not sure. I assume they're taking us to someone in charge. Looks like things have changed since--"

"<Enough of the Alliance bleating. Stay silent or we will separate you.>" said one of the ones behind us.

I snorted and explained, "<If you want him to tell him something, I will have to translate, unless one of you speaks English.>"

They didn't answer, and we walked the rest of the way to the huge wooden doors of the Clanhall in silence.

*****

They ended up separating us anyway, which I sort of expected. I sat in silence in the little room they put me in for a good ten minutes before I used my minicomp to send a buzz to HotSauce's. If he was stuck in a similar little room with no one keeping a close eye on him, we might still be able to talk. But no answer came, so they must be more suspicious of him than they were of me. At least he had company.

So I sat and waited, and paced, and sat again. I thought about trying to escape. The room wasn't built like a prison, though I was sure a couple of the guys from our little walk were just outside the door. Bad odds. Waste of energy. And I wouldn't get any answers, even if I did manage to get out.

I kept checking the minicomp for messages, but also to check the time. It was passing, but slow enough to start making me restless and more angry after the first hour or so. To distract myself, I started one-sided conversations with the guards.

"<So is that place near the water works that makes those meat buns still open? I could go for some of those, with the rakeleaf sauce. Like six of them. Can you guys put in an order for me? I'm good for it. I got an Alliance navy pension. Well, as long as they take EtherCredit,>" I perked my ears for reaction.

No response, of course.

"<Maybe after work, then. When do you guys get off? You seem all right to me. We could have a few drinks, catch up on the news. Oh, can you make sure my human friend is all right? He's probably cold and scared and hungry. And he bruises easily. So be gentle with him."

I scratched the bridge of my muzzle and chuckled. HotSauce would be so mad if he heard me talking about him like a lost pet.

"<Come on, guys, at least one of you come in here and talk to me. I haven't seen another Lrrkh'un in years. Ooh, hey, that reminds me, do either of you have a sister you could introduce me to?>"

I thought, for a second, that I got a reaction. But the door remained closed. So I got up again from the bench which was the only furniture in the room, and paced. And paced. And checked the minicomp. And paced some more.

I was almost at the point of pounding on the door and making actual trouble when finally, it swung open. I stopped pacing. Mr. Forced-to-shoot-me was there, flanked by the guards who I was having drinks with after work.

He said, "<The governor wants to talk to you now.>" Except when he said 'governor' it was like a mangled version of the English word, probably because the position didn't exist on Lrrkh. Or didn't until recently.

I said, "<That's perfect. I want to talk to him too. Thanks for fetching him for me, chief.>"

I could see from his ears he wanted to start something. Well, finish it anyway. But he couldn't. Not without wrecking his status. Despite whatever had changed on Lrrkh, we Lrrkh'un at least were still the same. I gave him a toothy grin and he snorted and turned. I followed, grateful to get out of the room. I didn't know if they made me stew in there on purpose to rattle me or if the governor was just far away. I half-closed my eyes as we walked the halls and climbed up stairs. I tried to remember the old stuff they taught me when I was young about letting go of anger. Seeking the path past the fallen tree, as the teachers used to say. I was still me, I was still a vaguely famous person in the Alliance with some amount of influence there. I would find my family and make sure they were safe. Past that I wasn't sure where the path led.

Short term, my path led to the governor's office, which I think was once some kind of audience chamber for the clan elders. It was still decorated with historic relics and the wide reed-woven seats that the elders would sit in. They were pushed against the walls, empty. In the middle was a wooden desk, pretty ordinary by itself, but looked so out of place that it drew the eye.

Standing behind the desk was my uncle. I knew him immediately, despite the years. And he knew me too. He raised his hands, claws spread in greeting, and so did I. Then he was coming around the desk and embracing me. It felt nice, I have to say. I was disappointed when he let me go.

"<Wurra. It is you. I didn't know what to think when they told me.>" He looked over my shoulder at my escort. "<Thank you, you're dismissed.>"

I wanted to turn and give the one guy a smug look, but I resisted the urge and waited until I heard them close the door behind them.

I started in as soon as we were alone. "<Khessur, they kept me in that room for hours. What is going on here? Where is my mother? Can you get them to let my human friend out?>"

"<Slow down, Wurra. Come and sit. I will get you a drink.>" He headed back towards the desk. There were seats in front of it. I didn't sit. He busied himself with a bottle of rekhik, and did not sit either.

"<Please, uncle. At least tell me mother is safe and well.>"

"<She is. And so is your father, and your brothers and sisters. So please, sister-son, be calm and have a drink with me. Your first in a long time, yes?>"

I nodded, and took the ornate carved wooden cup he offered. "<Of rekhik, yes. But the humans have many fine spirits of their own.>"

"<I am sure that they do,>" he said, then drank from the long spout neck of his cup.

I joined him and let myself enjoy the taste. I hadn't had any for years, as he said, but I could tell this was quality stuff. I could feel him watching me. I set the cup down, still half-full. "<I thank you, Khessur. It is very good. Better than I remember.>" I paused and looked him in the eyes. "<Now can you tell me why your guys said they would have to shoot me and my friend if we tried to leave?>"

He gruffed and looked away. "<My apologies for that. Sekhun is sometimes too hrmm... enthusiastic. But we do have orders from the Lrrkh-Turul to detain anyone arriving in Alliance ships. I could not know it would be you in one of them.>"

"<And why is that? What happened here while I was gone? I went to the house first, and it's empty. Cold. Abandoned. You can imagine what I thought when I found that. And then this...>" I gestured in the direction of the door I had been led through.

"<Yes, I can see how it might be confusing. Upsetting. To come back from your time among the aliens to find that things are not the same as you remember. You are not quite the same as I remember either, Wurra.>"

"<What do you mean?>"

"<You left on your foolish journey to fight the great invincible menace. You told us you would never see us again but that we should be grateful if Lrrkh was spared the promised destruction. But here you are. Did you lose your appetite for their conflict?>"

I growled, "<We won. I'm still not sure how, but we did. And I was part of that. I flew in the assault on the Gestalt dreadnought. My name is carved on a monument on the human homeworld, along with hundreds of others. But it's over now.>"

He nodded and sipped his rekhik. "<So you came looking for praise and thanks? A monument here, maybe?>"

I didn't like his tone. He had welcomed me so warmly at first. Was that just an act to put me at ease? I wrinkled my muzzle. Not quite a snarl. Not yet. "<No. I came looking for my home. And for my mother. Where is she? Does she live with you now?>"

"<What makes you think Tilrru wants to see you, Wurra? You left her, left all of us to fight for the aliens. I think she thought it was her fault. It took her a long time to find her way past your loss.>"

"<I'm not lost! I'm here, now. Why won't you let me see her?>"

He shook his head. "<I think it would be best for you, and for her, if you and your human friend climbed back into your space ships and returned to your Alliance.>"

I bristled. "<You think a lot of things it seems, uncle.>"

"<And you, it seems to me, do not. Why did you really come back? Speak true, if you are still Lrrkh'un.>"

I seethed, and felt the fur of my shoulders and back standing up. He, on the other hand, seemed completely calm and at ease. Why did he speak to me like this? Didn't he know what I had done for the sake of this entire world? The friends I had made and lost? The years I spent alone among the humans and other aliens, with no comfort of other Lrrkh'un?

He watched me, sipped more of his rekhik. Waited for me to answer him.

I clicked my teeth together, looked away. Looked at the wall-mounted ancient instruments and woven-rope artwork. The great painted mural of a scene in summer, full of green and blue with Tarl shining in the sky. A festival below, with many Lrrkh'un figures. "I... I wanted to be with us. To be with my own kind, where I belong."

He nodded and gruffed. "<I can understand that, Wurra. Your war is over, and the Alliance has little use for you now. You want to rejoin the clan you left behind.>"

"<Yet you tell me to leave again. To go back where I am the only one of us. Alone. Why?>"

"<Because the clan you left behind, and the Lrrkh you left behind are gone.>"

"<What do you mean? You are here. Mother is here. You are Ulka Khessur.>"

Khessur took a deep breath and then let it out of his nose in a long, sorrowful exhale. "<No, Wurra. When the Alliance came, they tore a hole in the wall of our garden. You went away with them, so you did not see it happen. At first we thought all we had lost was a handful of wanderers. But the hole remained.>"

"<What hole? What did the Alliance do?>" I felt cold, in my belly. Had the Alliance caused this? Behind my back while I was fighting for them? Forced Lrrkh to become like them somehow?

"<They came. They left. They have visited every few years since, asking again if we are ready to join them.>"

When he did not continue, I prompted, "<And? What did they do to Lrrkh? Did they force you to join them?>"

"<No. They think themselves too honorable to force us. But it is already done. We are now part of a much larger garden, and we can never undo that. We cannot match their strength. And we cannot get out of their way.>"

I raised my muzzle and looked my uncle in the eyes. I began to understand. He nodded, seeing it in my expression.

I said, "<I could stay, though. I could help! I know the Alliance better than any of you. We could use their technology to build orbital defenses, or>"

"<Wurra!>" he interrupted. "<Wurra, stop. You mean well, I know. But you are not the first to return from the Alliance. Thanks to him we know the danger we face. And what we must do to defend ourselves.>"

"<And what is that?>" I asked.

"<We learn to speak with one voice, for the good of all Lrrkh'un. Someday we will truly join the Alliance, but on our terms.>"

I wanted to argue with him further. To point out that this leader, whoever he was, was already turning Lrrkh into something alien. That he was bringing the Alliance to Lrrkh too. But I could see the sense of it. It did not make me happy to do so.

"<And can I join that one voice?>"

He shook his head. "<It would mean silencing your own. I am sorry, Wurra, but if you truly wish to defend Lrrkh as you once said you did, you must go. We are walking a narrow path.>"

"<And my mother?>"

"<You would injure her again? Do not be selfish.>"

"<She will hear that I came back. I told your lackeys my name.>"

"<It will be dealt with. Please, Wurra, go now before you make the hole larger.>"

"<What about my human friend?>"

"<You will find him waiting for you in his space ship.>"

Either the guard was listening to our conversation or Khessur did something unseen to summon them because the door opened right then. I didn't turn to look, not yet. I stared at my uncle, now governor Khessur. I let my shoulders relax and my muzzle fall. I could not stay.

"<I understand, uncle.>"

He opened a door on his side of the desk and took out an sealed bottle of rekhik. "<Take this, Wurra, and live strong.>"

I walked forward and accepted the bottle with a nod. "<Live strong,>" I echoed. Then I turned to look at the door, and found just the leader waiting. He was the one with the smug expression now. I lacked the will to counter it, though. So I cradled the bottle in one arm and let him lead me back to my Starwing.

*****

"I'm really sorry that didn't go the way you wanted, Wolverine," said HotSauce over our private comm channel.

We were off the ground, but still in orbit. I stared at the surface, then off into the stars. "Yeah," I managed to say, trying to decide how I had wanted it to go in the first place. Or how I had expected it to go. My uncle's words still stung. Maybe I really had wanted a hero's welcome.

I asked him, "So what did they do to you?"

"Oh, they were watching me pretty close, which I guess you knew since I didn't answer your buzz. I tried to talk to 'em, of course, but I guess they didn't speak English. And after a while one that did speak English came. Female too! I tried to ask her out for a drink and you should have seen the look she gave me... Whoo! Anyway she didn't speak as well as you but I got the basics. Not welcome on planet or in orbit, tell my leaders to stay away. Don't call us, we'll call you. Then they marched me back to my 'wing to wait on you. I'd ask what they said to you, but you don't have to tell me until you're ready."

"Thanks, HotSauce."

"So where we heading now?" he asked.

I hadn't even begun to think about it. "Maybe you should pick for us this time."

He laughed. "Ok, so I had this idea while I was shivering my ass off down there."

"I'm almost afraid to hear this."

"No no it's a great idea! Have you ever been skiing?"