This has been a terrible weekend. I was fine. I was sure that the kids didn't notice their uncle accidentally eating their pink crayon. I used my claws to dig a hole behind the shed to do my business there until I was sure it was out of my system. Not that Jessica would have been inspecting my poos anyway, but I have some dignity. I wouldn't want her to blame the kids for letting me eat a crayon. 

I didn't think there was much left to surprise me about my new life until I met a new friend. That night I heard russling on my fence. I looked around outside and saw something drop down in my pen. "Hey there friend!" I heard a voice say. I used my tail to press a night light on the entrance way of my igloo. It popped on and all I could see was a white mask with glowing green eyes. "Too bright!" it hissed holding a paw up to shield it's eyes. "Can't you see in the dark like the rest of us?" I thought for a moment before I finally spoke to my visitor. "No, I chose the color vision option." My voice raspy from not using it in a long time. It replied excitedly, "They have that option now? Well, being colorblind wasn't that bad of a tradeoff for being able to see the critters sneaking up on me in the dark."

The strange creature turned sideways to look around the yard inside my pen. As it did so, I finally realised what it was. "You're a possum?" It corrected me "An opossum actually." "What's the difference?" I asked. "It's the OOOOOOOOOOOO!" the opossum broke out into a howl that ended in a hearty laugh. I rolled my eyes at the lame joke. "So, what did you break into my pen for?" I said curtly. The strange opossum smiled and extended a paw "I came to introduce my self, I'm Grandpa Spoon. I'm the leader of the neighborhood nightwatch." I clumsily shook his hand. "I just go by Tio Armadillo now days" I just said flatly. "Tio? That's spanish for uncle isn't it." I nod at his statement. "My brother-in-law said it was best if I stopped using my human name to make the transition easier." I heard a noise of someone fumbling with the backdoor unlocking it. Spoon looked over as well, "Hide" I whisper to him as he looked around then darted into my igloo.

The backdoor opens and out looks Caitlyn. She see the light on at my igloo and walks out across the yard barefoot in her pajamas."Tio I heard a noise." Damn opossum and his howling. She walks over to my fence and sticks her hand through to pet me. I walk over to meet her hand and stand up with my front legs against the fence. She tilts her head and gives my fluffy belly a few scratches. "Are you okay?" I vigorously nod my head at her. She looks around the yard and I sneek a glance at the door of my igloo. Those green eyes are shining out looking at me. I discreetly wave my tail at him to step back in the igloo. I step down from the fence and Caitlyn reach out further to give the armor on my head one last pet.

I stand up on my haunches and use both my paws to do a shooing motion. Caitlyn realises it's in her best interest to not get caught playing with Tio Armadillo after bedtime. She stands up and tells me "goodnight". Turning she slowly walks back to the door while i nervously shoot glances at the glowing eyes in my igloo. I watch her go and wait until I hear the lock in the backdoor click before I turn around to that grinning opossum sauntering out of my igloo. "She doesn't know you can talk does she?" Spoon says with a laugh. With a resigned sigh and shake of my head I tell him. "I don't want my sister's kids to think that animals can talk, amongst other reasons." He smiles again "That's kind of silly. I used to talk and play with my great grand kids when they were young. They learned the difference real quick when they first met a real opossum and it just hissed at them." I chuckled. "Great grand kids? How old are you anyway?" I curiously asked. He replied "I think i turned 93 this year." This old opossum had some tricks up his sleeve. "How long ago were you changed?" I asked.

"You know, I was one of the first to go through the transformation process. It was a easy choice to become a test candidate for one of the less popular animals or die a slow painful death as a frail human." he confided to me. "I guess opossum is better than NOpossum!" he says with another laugh. I growl at his pun. I turned to my water bowl to take a few sips. All this talking is making my mouth dry. He stand up on his haunches beside me and put his paw on my shoulder "Anyway, I just came by to meet you and welcome you to the neighborhood. I live a few houses down the street and didn't even know you lived here until yesterday. What's the fun of being an animal if you don't wander around the neighborhood to meet people?" 

"There are more of us around here?" I inquire. "Yeah, you should come to our next get together. We go out to the local teenage debauchery hangouts to try to convince drunk or high teenagers that we are their spirit animal and they should stop doing drugs and go to college." I smile and perk my ears at that. Life just got a lot more interesting around here.