The Sand Kingdom, deemed one of the more calmer kingdoms of the world had now become Mario’s favorite. The plucky plumber had found himself returning here, day after day, week after week all for one person . . . or rather one rabbit.  

Perched atop the inverted pyramid sat Harriet Broodal, even after her wedding planning career had failed. The rabbit still remained in Tostarena much to Mario’s confusion. The other Broodals had left for Rabbit Ridge leaving the other kingdoms they had invaded, but Harriet continued to frequent Tostarena.

Adorned in his classic blue overalls, Mario sat atop the spiraled tower intent on spying on the doe.

“Uh are you sure you don’t wan’t to go to New Donk City? I hear their banana quiche is top notch!”

“Aw come on Cappy we were just there yesterday!” Cappy floated off of Mario’s head saying

“Yesterday!? Mario we haven’t left the Sand Kingdom in weeks! You’ve been sleeping in the sand like you don’t have a home!” Mario dropped his binoculars and sighed saying “Oh I’m sorry Cappy! It’s just . . . She doesn’t bother you at all!?” The hat shaped ghost looked off at Harriet and shook his head saying

“Well she’s not hurting anyone, so it’s best we leave her alone. Besides Mario, I haven’t visited my sister in ages! I’m sure she’s missed me.”

“I’ve been a selfish jerk haven’t I? Tell you what, you go and visit Tiara and I’ll wait here in Tostarena for you. You deserve a break after putting up with me so long!” Cappy nervously fidgeted with his hands asking “Are you sure Mario? How will you get by without my capture ability?!”

Mario laughed saying “I’ve saved Princess Peach for years without being able to capture enemies. I think I’ll get by just fine without you for a couple of days.” Cappy flew around excitedly, hugging Mario and said “Thank you! Thank you! This means a lot to me!” Mario chuckled as his companion flew off towards the Odyssey, leaving him alone once more.

The plumber reached inside his back pocket and pulled out a copy of his trademark cap. Mario looked off at the inverted pyramid and internally cursed as he realized something . . . How was he going to get up there?”

Mario eyeballed the top of the pyramid and nodded in approval. He had decided the best way to board it would be to launch himself via slingshot, and with the help of the locals he intended to do just that. The Tostarenans pulled the slingshot as far back as possible and said “Alright Mario that’s as far as she’s going!”

“You may fire when ready!”

“Happy landings amigo!” The locals released the rope and sent the plumber soaring through the sky. Mario flailed his arms as he neared the pyramid, he hadn’t accounted for actually landing and without Cappy he knew coming to a stop would be difficult.

 “YAAAAHH!! GANG WAY!!” The plumber yelled as he crashed through a pile of clothes. Mario shakily hopped off the clothing pile and instantly blushed as he looked over at Harriet. The rabbit was practically naked, her only article of clothing was a revealing purple laced bikini. The rabbit turned raising her sunshades and said

“Oh it’s you. You come to visit me?”

“I-I u-uhh . . .”

“Not much of a talker I see.” Harriet dropped her shades and returned to sun bathing, leaving Mario to stumble over his words.

“Uh I don’t mean to be rude, but . . . What are you doing here?”

“What does it look like? I’m trying to tan my fur!”

“Well that much is obvious, but I meant why are you . . you know . . . here?” Harriet hopped off her lawn chair saying “Why do you care? You already won dough boy! You got the girl, stopped the turtle, and more importantly . . . Put me out of a job! Now go home to your wife and leave me alone!”

“Oh Peach isn’t my wife. We’re not even dating!”

“Guess she’s not into guys who spend most their time unclogging toilets huh?”

“Yea . . . Guess not.”

Word of Mario’s rejection had spread across the kingdoms like grease lightning and at every turn someone was trying to make fun of him. The plumber had now become the laughing stock of the world and everyone from the Mushroom Kingdom to the Moon Kingdom were laughing at his expense. Mario had never been great with handling public humiliation so the plumber took to the somewhat secluded Sand Kingdom, doing his best to hide from the mainstream media.

Harriet opened a cooler and pulled out a beverage saying “Hey dough boy! You wanna a drink or what?”

“That would be nice.” Mario caught the fizzy beverage saying “Just out of curiosity, why set up shop here? Out of all the kingdoms to live in, why come back here?” Harriet sighed saying

“It wasn’t my choice to come back . . . Things just got out of hand.”

“What happened?”

  “Well after you trashed the wedding things just went south. We lost hundreds of our contracts, and it only got worse from there. The family business went completely under and we were forced to close up shop.”

“What did you do for work?”

“Pfft! Work he says . . . We went back to the glamorous job of carrot farming. You’d be surprised what you could grow with how fertile moon soil is, but that wasn’t the life for me so I left . . . Not like I had much choice either. My family’s been taking it real hard ya know? Couldn’t stand the transition, can’t say I blame them either.”

“Jeez I thought you’d guys be happy back home!”

Happy? We’re not real popular on Rabbit Ridge now and things have gotten tense in the Broodal household. I got into an altercation with Ma and well . . . Kinda got kicked out, But Hey! Their loss, now I don’t have to listen to anyone telling me how to live my life! I can do what I want when I want and it’s all thanks to you.”

“Wow I never knew.”

“You never asked . . . So what’s your story? What’s the poster boy of the Mushroom Kingdom doing here spying on little ole’ me?”

“Spying?! Wha- How did you!?”

“Aw come on! How stupid did you think I was? When I first got here you arrived shortly after, so I figured you were hanging around scrounging up power moons or whatever, until you didn’t leave.”

“I-I uh haven’t been here that long!”

“Please! You’ve been hangin’ out here as long as I have, so I figured you were . . . admiring the view.” Mario’s cheeks began burning bright red leaving the plumber to awkwardly rub the back of his neck.

“Aw I’m just messing with ya! Say now let me interrogate you big boy. I take it things haven’t been so hot between you and that blonde huh?”

“Well that’s one way of putting it.”

“What happened? She fall for your twin brother or something!”

“As a matter of fact . . . Yes.”

“Oh . . . Tough nails, You planning on getting revenge? I’m pretty savvy with evil plots and whatnot. I’ve got my resume with me if you want to check it out!”

“Uh I’ll keep that in mind . . . Don’t get me wrong or anything I’m happy for them and they deserve each other, but a part of me can’t help but feel a little jealous you know? I thought Peach and I were perfect for each other . . . I guess not.”

“Hmph. You’re better off without her honestly, she can be surprisingly bitchy in her own right. Can you believe she yelled at me after I helped fit her dress!? You’d think she’d be more appreciative!”

“You did kidnap her Harriet.”

“Hmph! I honestly can’t see what you and Bowser see in her. She’s remarkably shallow for a monarch, but hey! Who am I to judge? I’m a pyrotechnician outta work.” Mario chuckled as he plopped down next to Harriet saying “So what now? Where will you go?”

“Hmm . . . That’s a good question. I’ve been to almost every kingdom in the world, but I’ve never actually spent any real time in them. I always got stuck on the ship, watching the princess or as you’ve come to know . . . Making explosives. I’d like to travel and revisit those places, but without a ship and money . . . I’ll be calling the Sand Kingdom home for awhile.”

“Well you’re always welcome to travel with me. I’d been planning on kingdom hopping for awhile now and now that I don’t have a princess to save, I might actually be able to enjoy myself!”

Harriet laughed at Mario saying “Do you always invite your enemies to tour the world with you?”

“Only the ones I like.”

“You’re a real piece of work, you know that? But what the heck I’m not doing anything but frying my tail off and I’m sure you get lonely just talking to the walls So let’s do this. Though I gotta warn you, I’m as wild as they get.”

“I think I can handle you.”

Harriet smiled deviously and replied “Oh you have no idea.”