NO.
That was not a question, but I bet
one came to mind for many of you.
What was that about?
What was that for?
Where is this going?
For some of you I'm sure a question is
the first thing that came to mind so let
me ask you this...when did no become
a question?
When did it cease to be a statement
and instead become an excuse?
When did it become the beginning of
a conversation instead of the end?
When did we transform it into an
opening for interrogation instead of
accepting it as a way for a person
to assert their right of refusal?
When did we stop listening to
what our friends had to say?
When a person says no that
should be the end not the
beginning. Not an opening.
Not an excuse to pressure them
to come up with words until
a reason that you view as acceptable
spills forth from their lips.
There is a difference between asking
and forcing and when you continually
force someone to try and do something
after they have already told you no
then you have lost all rights to their
politeness.
If you have ignored their reasons and
pushed aside their feelings again and
again and again in order to get them
to do something they are not comfortable
with then they do not have to be nice.
They do not have to be polite.
They do not have to be kind.
They do not have to soften their words
for you after you have stabbed them with
yours.
No is not a question.
It is a statement.
It is a declaration.
It is a shout.
It is a scream from the person
who can only manage to squeak out
a reluctant, “maybe next time."
“No, I'm not interested” does not mean
“I just want you to try harder.”
"No I don't feel like going” does not
mean “keep trying, it's not like I have
anything better to do.”
You do not get to question a person
without their consent and then lash out
when they snap back and refuse to give their
answers to you.
They told you no.
They told you to stop.
They told you they weren't comfortable.
They told you they were in pain.
They told you they weren't interested.
They told you they didn't want to.
Don't blame them because you weren't
listening hard enough. Don't blame them
for getting angry when you were the one who
refused to accept their reasons. Don't put
them down because of your failure to realize
that other people have feelings and opinions too
and sometimes they just aren't the same as yours.
Do not blame the world around you because
of your inability to accept a refusal.
No is a statement not a question and you
don't get to ask them for an answer if they
are not willing to volunteer it.
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