Get Out Of My Head!
Vent Art-
This is only a minimal of what runs through my mind. Everyday. Positive thinking doesn't work, it's only lying to myself. I have no confidence in myself because nothing really works out anywhere close to what's logical. I have no pride because there is extremely little I have to be proud of. All the while, I give and pass smiles, but I have no one to really help me keep my own. And when I AM happy, it only lasts a few minutes before something puts me down. Happiness is only a drug to me.
The idea of love, of course still plagues me. Not because I'm lonely, but because of other reasons. In my group of primary friends, I am the only single one. In fact, I'm friends with my friend's boyfriends and girlfriends. I'm alone. There's rarely anyone who peaks my interest, but when there is, along with it comes an excuse. Not interested, already taken, lesbian, "I don't want to hurt you". I hate excuses. But what can I possibly do? A quiet, honest, brittle, shy young man with low self esteem, low self confidence...low everything...I don't expect anyone to read all this, these are only my personal confessions. It's better to let it out than to build it up until you explode.
This is only a minimal of what runs through my mind. Everyday. Positive thinking doesn't work, it's only lying to myself. I have no confidence in myself because nothing really works out anywhere close to what's logical. I have no pride because there is extremely little I have to be proud of. All the while, I give and pass smiles, but I have no one to really help me keep my own. And when I AM happy, it only lasts a few minutes before something puts me down. Happiness is only a drug to me.
The idea of love, of course still plagues me. Not because I'm lonely, but because of other reasons. In my group of primary friends, I am the only single one. In fact, I'm friends with my friend's boyfriends and girlfriends. I'm alone. There's rarely anyone who peaks my interest, but when there is, along with it comes an excuse. Not interested, already taken, lesbian, "I don't want to hurt you". I hate excuses. But what can I possibly do? A quiet, honest, brittle, shy young man with low self esteem, low self confidence...low everything...I don't expect anyone to read all this, these are only my personal confessions. It's better to let it out than to build it up until you explode.
14 years ago
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