1. As a Bird of Writing and The Sciences, Thoth was the True Brains (and Most Attractive) of the Ancient Egyptian Pantheon. Alas, the only Egyptian Gods that mortals care about these days is Anubis and Horus. While artists inflate the egos of those two pompous jerks with depictions of tasteful nudes, Thoth has been stuck teaching ungrateful college students for the last three centuries with practically nonexistent pay.

2. Pigeons don't need OR want mind-numbing propaganda promoting our politics. We're not like those “All-American" clearly-compensating-for-something Eagles or Conceited Chickens.

3. Geese are not Birds. They are Lesser Demons from Eldritch Realms. Your acknowledgment of their so-called existence gives them power.

4. Never trust The Phoenix. Only fools and Tyrants-Destined-To-Be-Forgotten believe that they can benefit from the Filthy Lies that The Phoenix offers them.

5. Edgar Allan Poe plagiarized work from an actual down-on-his luck Writer Raven that had been struggling to get by. People mourn Poe's death. Nobody thinks of that poor raven that Poe swindled. Humans are jerks.

6. If an Owl is awoken in the middle of the night and asks “Who's There?", is anybody really there? Answer: Yes.

7. Birds cracked the code to time travel ten timelines ago. Do not refer to the Birds assigned to supervise All Of Time as “The Council of Cuckoos". Do. Not. Do. That.

8. Bird Society frowns upon the illogical popularity of Grumpy Cat Memes.

9. Birds love them some Doges though!

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