I Trample LJ

Call for help!

2013-01-22T19:38:19Z

This is a shout-out on behalf of a LJ friend of mine who could use a helping hand. She's a gamer, writer, RPer and all-around awesome person, and is currently cut off from the internet due to the motherboard of her laptop going "phut". This comes as the cherry on top of a year full of financial and personal setbacks - job lost, husband seriously ill, housing issues - and being largely cut off from her hobbies as well as job search and the like is doing her no good at all.

the__ivorytower and I have promised to help, but anyone else who can chip in will be greatly appreciated! Please donate, or signal boost, or send positive vibes for a better '13!

nuuu!

2013-01-06T18:42:05Z

the WoW food post went away :(

Okay, so.

2012-12-10T23:16:59Z

Being sexy =/= being powerful. Attracting someone =/= having power or control over them.

Don't get me wrong. When someone is attracted to you and they go out of their way to get your attention, do nice things for you, show off their own best sides in hope of getting you to reciprocate, that can certainly be a nice feeling. Most people find it validating, and yes, it CAN be a way to get the other party to do stuff for you that they'd not be willing to otherwise.

BUT. When someone is attracted to you and they follow you around, make inappropriate comments to you or about you, paw you, put pressure on you or worse, that is NOT nice.

And here's the thing: the object of desire doesn't get to choose. There's no way they can ensure that only the positive kind of attention will be paid to them. There's no way they can ensure that NO attention will be paid to them when they're not in a mood to receive it.

So please, zip your lips around all that bullshit about how being traditionally attractive is the direct female equivalent of being badass, 'kay?

Fun in lab

2012-11-09T12:44:26Z

...sometimes I am strongly tempted to grab one of my lab teachers by their white non-flammable collar and go "listen here, I studied biochem before. I worked in a lab for 7 years. I KNOW MY WAY AROUND AN AUTOMATIC PIPETTE!!!!"

Posted via m.livejournal.com.

I wasted perfectly good angst on this?

2012-10-23T09:37:12Z

Just did my first exam in the new program; cellular biology. Due to Circumstances, had to stay in the study hall for 3 hours. Spent last hour racing origami frogs around my desk. Do not know why all the horrors in the last week.

Tides of Shit

2012-09-09T12:42:23Z

Look, Golden, there is one fact about Jaina Proudmoore which you ought to know. Which you ought, in fact, to have had tattooed on the insides of your fucking eyelids before you were allowed to write her fucking NAME, much less establish any kind of canon regarding her.

All the suffering in Jaina's life - all of it, every fucking shred - has come from three kinds of behavior in other people. Namely, unreasoning hatred, vengefulness, and "my way or the highway" unilateralism. Everyone who ever seriously fucked her over has exhibited some combination of these traits.

Arthas shattered her world in several ways because his certainty that his was the one true way to save Lordaeron turned him into a monster.

Kael destroyed their friendship because he couldn't stop blaming her for having ever liked Arthas, pretty much. And then went off and became a monster in his turn.

Daelin forced her to choose between family and honor in the worst fucking way possible, because he knew what those dirty greenskins were like better than someone who'd only known and worked and fought with them.

Thrall decided Garrosh was going to be the perfect Warchief even though everyone and their companion pet was lined up to tell him "no, actually..." and, well, we all know what Garrosh's been doing.

And of course there's Varian Fuckhead Wrynn, who before you made him the voice of reason in this book had been running around for years gleefully marking his territory all over everything Jaina - and Bolvar and Tirion and Rhonin and all those other deluded souls who think peace is possible - had achieved.

So I'm sure you think you were being really clever and deep by turning Jaina into a vengeful race-hater. I'm sure you thought you were going to win another award (and what award is it you won previously, anyway? Middle school spelling bee?) for your portrayal of her advocating the complete destruction of everything orcish or Horde, and turning her back on friends and allies when they dare to suggest that maybe MURDERING EVERYONE IN ORGRIMMAR DOWN TO THE LAST CHILD isn't the way to go. I'm sure you've patted yourself on the back until it got as numb as your head. But guess what? Completely reversing everything someone has ever believed and turning them into everything they used to hate just like flipping a coin is not good writing, no matter how horrific the event that prompted it.

I could've seen Jaina's attitude hardening, definitely. I could see her being furious with former allies who helped cause the destruction of her city, such as Baine, Vol'jin, and Thrall (and reluctant kudos for having HIM take some fucking responsibility for his actions at long last, even if it's only as a lead-in to another round of "no, what I did was right and the only thing I could do"). I could see her withdrawing from people, going catatonic with grief, blaming herself for not foreseeing or not being able to stop what happened. But this shit? Outright saying the orphans in Orgrimmar need to die because they're going to grow up into Hordies? That ain't Jaina, and I resent the yellow diarrhoetic fluid out of you for trying to pass it off as such.

That is all.

re: the future

2012-07-26T12:00:42Z

So I've been holding off on Telling People All About This, because I've had this paranoid certainty that something could still go wrong, and technically it still can, I could be denied student loans or be run over by the pig truck tomorrow or whatever, BUT not an hour ago I got my first textbook in the mail and it's 1600 pages of cellular biology goodness and I cannot restrain my enthusiasm any longer.

I'm going to be a pharmacist! Enrolled in the Linneus University of Kalmar, Sweden a couple of weeks ago, for a three-year long-distance program that will end with me having an actual, solid education, and being an actual professional, and having a chance at an actual, qualified job. This is awesome.

I'm even more pleasantly surprised, in a way, by how bitter I'm not. A year ago I hated myself for being 31 and not having Gotten My Life Together. Now... well, I'll be 35 when I graduate, that's a bit above average, but honestly I know people in their 50s who still haven't got their shit together, who don't live the lives they want and have no idea why. I figure, on the whole, I'm ahead of the game.

le sigh

2012-04-13T14:19:36Z

"Waah waah maintenance happens too often, waah waah maintenance takes too long, waah waah there are bugs, waah waah [class] is OP, waah waah [class I play] was nerfed, waah waah Empire/Republic always wins warzones..."

I swear, it's like being back in WoW, and this game has only been going for five months...

First post! and SWTOR snippet filter

2012-03-30T18:39:55Z

Trying out this crosspost-to-LJ thing for nefarious purposes, and also I have a question for the three people who follow me who might possibly be interested: would anyone like to be on a filter for SWTOR snippets? Because while my policy is to post finished fics in public, the way my creativity's been for the last few years actual FINISHED fics are few and far between, and at risk of sounding like a person with incredibly needy and fragile writer's ego, my chances of actually producing something are way higher if I can show people what I'm working on and possibly even get reassurance that it doesn't suck.

Two warnings, before you decide:
- So far, the storyline I've played most and am most ~~fixated on~~ interested in is the Sith Warrior one. I'll probably end up playing through all of them at least once and falling for other companions, but for now, the stories in my head are basically all about how Quinn is a total dork who nevertheless has all the sex, and Vette is awesome. Oh, and Darth Malgus. I kind of feel like I shouldn't love Malgus as much as I do.

- In the immortal words of the Baby-Eating Bishop of Bath and Wells, "I am a colossal pervert". There ARE some things I just can't see myself ever writing, and I always do cut and warn, but if you want to make sure you'd never have to be confronted with [thing], drop me a comment or message, okay?

not entirely random SWTOR thought...

2012-03-30T12:50:55Z

...following a chat with dareva about those sound files, you know which ones.

What if the reason (or one reason) why Quinn is so flustered around the female Sith Warrior is because he's actually (mostly) gay, and is surprised to find himself attracted to a woman?

As I've mentioned before, it seems to me that he'd likely be bisexual, given that most of the reasons he's attracted to the SW are non-gendered. Loyalty, honor, decisiveness, a strong (dare I say dominating? *smirk*) personality, combat skill, and the aura of power and mystery associated with being Sith all seem to be in there, but as dareva noted, he never really says anything about the SW's appearance. And (mild spoiler) in one of the early dialogues, if you choose the right option, you can get him to say something about how the SW is "a unique sort of woman". So, given that the Empire's military does seem rather male-dominated, I find myself wondering if he might just not have encountered a lot of women with the characteristics that attract him?

(Of course, given that he's also very into propriety and the chain of command, I expect the ratio of frustration and unspoken crushes to actual sex in Quinn's life would still skew way to the left...)

note to self, re: MMOs

2012-03-23T16:09:28Z

Self,

There are two very important facts you need to remember when playing MMOs:
1) Most people just don't care that much what those dumb bitches or dirty fags might think about their language or what words they choose to use as insults/jokes/synonyms for winning.
2) You can't change anyone's mind and trying to do so will always, always, ALWAYS brand you as a boring, humorless PC nazi.

Thus, the smartest thing for you to do is to never again get in a guild/group/raid with people unless you already know they're decent sorts. If you take a chance you WILL be disappointed.

Writer's Block: Pros and Cons

2012-03-05T22:47:17Z

As always when this question is asked, I facepalm and point out that sharp sticks to dig up roots with and hollow gourds to carry water are ALSO technology. The first tools, but no less tools.

Also, that there's something kinda disingenuous about asking this question on the Internet.

I'm trapped in the GFFA. Send help.

2012-02-10T13:00:45Z

...so I've been playing Star Wars: the Old Republic for five weeks straight because I've been in one of my asocial moods, and I've totally fallen in love with my Sith Warrior and her storyline and her supporting characters and I'm making up aaaargh so much headcanon and writing fic, which no one will ever want to read because Keenir is a Horrible Sue i.e. to borrow a phrase from an awesome woman of my acquaintance she does the same sort of things as the Skywalker boys are wont to do while being in possession of a pair of ovaries.

And there's a soundtrack.

Help.

Writer's Block: Occupied

2012-01-05T15:32:51Z

*sigh* I probably would've if I lived in the USA which, you know, most of the people in the world do not.

see here, WoW Insider...

2011-12-09T07:25:59Z

Am I the only one who thinks http://wow.joystiq.com/2011/12/08/the-broken-doll-roleplaying-storyline-chills-hundreds-on-moon-gu/#continued sounds more than a bit creepy? I mean, maybe I'm just Not A Real Roleplayer, but if I had someone randomly send me a threatening message my first reaction would NOT be "oh, I bet this is an awesome opportunity!" At BEST I'd think it was a guildie trying to be funny. And epically failing.

And also... the whole thing is built on the "heroes" being targeted because they used to mistreat a "dimwitted and overweight" girl, who has since developed a mental disorder. But it's all right! Now they're big and strong and can put her down - or, as the originator notes, "try to save what redeemable parts are left"!

Hint, lady - it ain't the victim who needs to be redeemed here.

halp

2011-12-05T20:03:54Z

Power gone for an hour. Don't know when it'll be back. Alone. Bored. Likely to lose food in freezer. FML.

Posted via m.livejournal.com.

tentacular!

2011-12-04T04:43:12Z

P&W is now 3/8 in Dragon Soul, after an AWESOME kill of Zon'ozz, on what would've been the last attempt of the night, and with 2 seconds to go on his enrage timer! (In revenge, he dropped the rogue/mage/DK/druid token... needless to say the raid consisted of 5 pallies, 2 hunters, 2 warriors and a lone shaman.)

oh my dear sweet god

2011-12-01T02:50:11Z

I have found the perfect RP outfit for my dear Skype.

T13.

This means a lot of raid finder. A *lot* of raid finder.

...pray for me?

music for the pondering fangirl

2011-11-19T11:47:43Z

Duet for Darion and Taelan, in a sadder version than I usually write, but perhaps the truest one.

let me tell you what you can do with your "lore column"...

2011-11-13T03:38:13Z

http://wow.joystiq.com/2011/11/12/beginner-roleplay-choosing-sides/#continued Anne Stickney is at it again. This time, she's making a choose-your-race guide for RPers that is, shall we say, not up to my exacting standards.

Now, granted, I can agree with her statement that the Alliance are the "touted" heroes of Warcraft. This is, in fact, in my mind, one of the major problems with lore and one of the reasons behind the supposed "Horde bias" of the story team. The thing is, the Alliance may not have been founded in blood the way the original Horde was, but it certainly hasn't remained a simple defense pact. From the Internment Camps to the treatment of the blood elves to the vengeful aggression of Varian Wrynn, which helped spark off the current war, the Alliance has repeatedly shown itself to be as morally ambiguous as the Horde. In fact, prior to Cataclysm and Garrosh Hellscream's ascension*, I would have said the Horde had been steadily climbing toward redemption from its warlike heritage, while the Alliance had suffered an equally steady decline from its original noble goals.

So, while I'll freely admit that most of the unambiguously heroic characters of Warcraft have arisen from within the Alliance - Tirion Fordring and the other original paladins, Jaina Proudmoore, Bolvar Fordragon, Darion Mograine before his death, and so forth - the Alliance as a whole is hardly, any longer, the faction of "good guys". The problem is that this is almost never acknowledged. The Alliance as a whole is presented as a perfect union with no internal clashes that aren't immediately smoothed over** and while bad things are done here and there (Southern Barrens, anyone?) the overall image still contains very little in the way of consciously presented moral ambiguity.

Which is kind of boring, and as a writer, I can see why the Horde characters and their internal politics would be more interesting to work with. I'm still not convinced that there is an actual Horde *bias* (one might just as well say that there's an Alliance bias in that they're presented as good guys) but the Horde does seem to get more attention.

Anyway, lengthy digression over, back to the ways Stickney pisses me off. Points in order.

The Alliance are "the native races of Azeroth", defending their world from invasion? Gee, Stickney, I'm sure the tauren, trolls, goblins and blood elves - not to mention the Forsaken, who were, in the main, originally *humans* from Lordaeron - are just delighted to find they don't count as natives of Azeroth. BTW, as you yourself mention, the draenei aren't Azerothian originally - so in fact there's one bunch of off-worlders in each faction.***
The Alliance was originally the human kingdoms, and it wasn't until the Second War that they brought in the dwarves and gnomes? Uh, *no*, Stickney. The Alliance didn't in fact exist until the Second War; the First War was between the humans of *one* kingdom, Stormwind, and the Horde, which then consisted solely of orcs and a few ogres. Granted, in later lore Stormwind seems to have subsumed or dominated all the other human nations anyway... but it's an error I'm a bit dismayed to see a lore columnist make.
...the humans are fresh from a tough fight against the Lich King? Yeaaah, them and everyone else except the worgens and goblins. And the humans who actually made victory possible are not, by and large, Alliance citizens but neutral members of the Argent Crusade, Ebon Blade, and Kirin Tor.
The gnomes are focusing on retaking Gnomeregan? Sure. Now if only something would actually happen with that, 'cause last I heard the operation was pretty well stalled.
[Wolfheart spoilers] I agree that the worgen's admission into the Alliance didn't go smoothly, but now they're all the good little dogs of His Awesome Wolfness Incarnate King Varian, so surely they don't still "deal with mistrust from their allies"? Especially since Varian was pretty much the only reason why they weren't immediately voted in in the first place?
The Horde are underdogs? Really? I'll give you that they were originally conceptualized as such, but Cataclysm has pretty much been about the Horde advancing on all fronts - and considering their current leadership, I'm not willing to give them the sympathy vote that's usually inherent in the "underdog" designation, even if they actually were at a disadvantage.

* = These days, the opinions of my characters of either faction re: most of their leaders can be summed up as "fuck your noise, I'm joining the Argent Crusade".

** = How the hell have the dwarves not raised a stink over Varian threatening the life of their sovereign ruler, whether or not they like her? Oh, I forget, because the story team actually have no idea of how international politics work.

*** = granted, the orcs are the founders of the Horde whereas the draenei are the blue-tentacled stepchildren of the Alliance, but even so, characterizing the Horde as a whole as "invaders" - especially considering that most orcs now alive were born on Azeroth - feels more than a little gross to me.

dear mr. psychiatrist...

2011-11-07T23:32:46Z

Dear Mr. Psychiatrist: today you asked me why I'm so easily offended, why I expose myself to emotional abuse, why I don't just avoid circumstances that will be painful to me, especially when I know that depression puts my temper on an even lighter trigger than usually.

I sighed, and agreed that I probably should.

Then I went home, and I logged onto World of Warcraft to do some dungeons, and five minutes into the very first dungeon I made the mistake of rolling on DPS loot that the tank wanted, and was told I was a "pussy" and to "go suck a dick".

So I logged off, and I checked my favorite RPG forum, and found that people still wouldn't let go of the "Indians = orcs!" thing.

So I hit the back button, and checked LiveJournal instead, to see what was up with my friends list. And there were posts about the shit women get called on the internet, and posts about the Republicans and the things they want to do to anyone who makes under 100k a year, and that was just on the first page.

So I went to the forum for the WoW guild I RP with, and sure enough, I found two of my guildies gaslighting a third because she cares about mere words, like "gay" being used as an insult.

And then I just sat and stared for a while, and I thought "Dear Mr. Psychiatrist; this is why I'm angry. Because there is so much bullshit out there, and I can never ever isolate myself well enough that the stench won't reach me. Because this is in my family, this is in my work, this is in my hobbies and my friendships and it's never going away."

And then I decided to knit for a bit instead, because honestly, fuck the world.

for a change of pace...

2011-11-06T05:18:41Z

Some awesome guild news! Tonight the guildies downed Rags for the first time without a mage... I was starting to think that wasn't possible, but apparently with three engineers working in tandem it's workable! So, looking good for future kills.

dear fellow RPer...

2011-11-04T04:32:27Z

...how do I put this delicately? No, wait, I don't.

I don't need your bloody permission to deliver an IC smackdown when your character is being pissy toward mine. I assume that right, okay? Also, while I realize that my boy isn't exactly the life and soul of our little adventuring party (in fact, I feel like by making him more likely to show interest in others' issues than talk about his own I may have made him pretty damn interchangeable as far as the rest of the group is concerned) it's disingenuous to assume that nobody would've addressed him by name in your presence even once over several weeks of travelling together.

Unless we're going by Victorian notions of proper manners in which you're not *really* introduced to someone unless they've slobbered on your hand and recited their lineage back 3 generations, but honestly.

it's not racism if they're ORCS

2011-10-31T23:34:28Z

Sometimes I fucking hate and despise the gaming "community".

Could someone please tell me in what UNIVERSE sending the PCs as settlers to a foreign land, and having the natives be ~~noble savages~~ proud hunter-gatherers with a rich but "primitive" culture and many exotic customs, who have been pushed back from their traditional hunting grounds by invasions/treaties with the settlers, is NOT going to be interpreted as an extremely thinly veiled Cowboys and Indians scenario?

And then you make the natives orcs. Who of course have to be a bit evil and degenerate, so among other things they piss on people to show sexual interest...

Congratulations, white boy. You just recreated the slaughter of the natives in North America, except you made the settlers justified.

Telling him that, of course, was met with cries of "this is just fantasy with more ambition than you're used to!" and claims that anyone who objected was being unreasonable, unduly hostile, didn't understand, was too PC... you all know the drill.

I especially love the guy who is now telling me that "when us upper-middle-class liberal white Americans get all offended about race, it's usually just our own issues coming to the fore". Way to belittle any white person who's bothered by racism... but sorry, one out of four is NOT good enough for me to feel that your sweeping generalization applies to me.

blush footscrape ...soIdrewthispicture.

2011-10-30T16:28:52Z

My very first fanart... or, well, the first one my conscience would allow me to inflict on the public. V. messy pencil sketch; any advice or critique is much appreciated!