I don't know what I'm doing.
Holy cow, it's been a year since I last posted a fic. I had a bunch of TVD fics started but couldn't finish them and then was so disappointed with the show; and then my MA thesis started and I generally forbid myself to write anything but that.
Tonight was the first time I actually sat down and actually wrote something that's been on my mind for a while. New show, new characters, hope you enjoy.
Title: It's better this way
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Teen Wolf
Characters: Derek Hale, original female character
Summary: "The first time he sees her again, it's like running into a brick wall." Based on the idea that the Hale family wasn't the only family living in the house and that Derek and Laura grew up with another girl. When they left Mystic Falls behind, they left her, too.
Disclaimer: As always, I own nothing. I'm just playing around.
The first time he sees her again, it feels like running into a brick wall. All the air suddenly seems to have disappeared from his lungs, leaving his mind flailing helplessly and his wolf howling.
She looks good. Older, of course, but healthy. She’s wearing a knee-length skirt and a blouse typing away on her cell phone as she crosses the street.
She doesn’t see him. He doesn’t want her to.
He follows her through town a little, watching her pick up groceries and have random talks with people he thinks he should remember but doesn’t. She smiles at them, laughs even, and all of a sudden the pain that’s been constricting his chest becomes unbearable and he leaves.
The second time he sees her, they are at the vet’s. There is a rival pack in town, going on a rampage and the Argents have offered a truce in exchange for some insight and manpower. Everybody seems to be there, not just the vet and Chris Argent, but his daughter Allison, as well as Scott, Stiles, Jackson and Lydia. His pack.
He actually smells her before she enters the room, stopping dead in her tracks when she sees him. The smile she’d been sporting while casually joking around with her friend —Ben, he notes— vanishes from her face and is replaced by a scowl. She doesn’t say a word, though, only stands by the vet and listens to everyone else. She doesn’t look at him again, not even when he has the word and the truce between all parties is formally laid out and agreed upon.
She’s the first to leave.
He doesn’t plan to, but he follows her scent. It’s been so long, too long, since he’s had the chance to smell it, and he hadn’t realized just how much he’d missed it.
As he rounds a corner, there she is. Leaning against a wall, selecting a song on her iPod.
„Gonna keep ignoring you,“ she singsongs without looking at him. She pushes off the wall and starts walking again. „Please go away.“
He starts keeping tabs on her then. It’s not a conscious decision, not really, but somehow, he finds himself in all the places she goes to, if only just to smell that scent again and let his wolf bask in it. He’s careful to avoid her enough that she doesn’t see him, because she told him to leave. She’s angry, he can tell, but she has every reason to be. He did, after all, get her family killed.
He gets to his house one night about a week later to find her sitting on his porch. As he gets out of his car, she looks up and right at him with as much menace as he’s ever seen her display. In his memories, she’s wild and bubbly, full of energy and always running around. He notices how she sighs before she speaks.
„I’m here to prep you for tomorrow,“ she says evenly, trying not to show how upset she is. Obviously, she’s not there by choice.
He only nods, doesn’t want to anger her further and opens the door to the house for her. She scoffs.
„Not going in there, Hale. Get your stuff out here.“
He watches her touch the clothes he brings out, watches as she rubs herbs over them, watches her lips move.
Out of all the things that she could have surprised him with, the fact that she’s a witch is the one he can’t seem to wrap his head around.
She puts a gem in the pockets of his pants before putting his clothes on the top porch step and turning to leave.
„That’s all?“ It’s a stupid question, but maybe it’ll make her stay longer.
„That’s all,“ she echoes.
They look at each other for a moment and it takes all of his will power not to jump at her.
He watches as she turns around to walk away again. It makes his wolf howl.
„You know,“ she suddenly says and turns around, „I always imagined you’d come back. I knew you would, because really, there was no way you would just leave me behind, right? I thought you just needed some space, some time to sort through everything that happened, but you’d come and get me eventually. It’s so funny, because I…“ she gestures wildly at the house, „I didn’t even leave the damn thing for two months after the fire. Because what if you came back but you couldn’t find me?“ He can see the tears in her eyes now, follows the trail of one running down her cheeks. „But eventually, after two, three, four, five years, I realized that I was wrong.“
He wants to tell her that he’s here now, but as he opens his mouth, she continues:
„And now you’re here. You’re back. And I don’t know whether to be ecstatic or horrified, because you didn’t come back for me. You didn’t come here because you suddenly remembered the girl you grew up with. You came for revenge. And once that’s done, you’ll leave again. So,“ she takes a deep breath and wipes at her face, „do me a favor: Leave me alone. Stop hovering, stop following me, stop watching me, for God’s sake. Yes, I know about that. Seriously, Derek, I grew up with werewolves, you’d think I picked up a thing or two. Stop wiggling back into my life only to walk out of it again.“
She doesn’t run away, like he expected. She stares him down, challenging his authority as the alpha —technically her alpha— and then, very slowly turns and walks down the driveway.
From then on, he feels like he’s surrounded by her. Like when he has to move his stuff to a different room of the house because the roof is leaking and he realizes his mattress is now in her old room. Or when he slips into Stiles’ room to ask about that research and he can smell that she’s been there.
All the memories he’d carefully tucked away into the deepest corners of his mind are reappearing, too. Them pranking Laura when they were younger. The way her mother freaked out when she had dyed streaks of her hair bright pink. Her laugh at one of the jokes Peter liked to tell at the dinner table. Most of all, he remembers the way she had always looked at him like he was her personal hero.
And then he also remembers her screams when she saw the fire, remembers holding her back from running in. He remembers her tears and then, after the fire had subsided, the look on her face as she realized that they were all dead.
„How could this happen? Who does something like that?“ she had asked him.
Me, he’d wanted to say, it was me.
He hadn’t planned on walking away. But every time that he looked at her, he realized how broken she was and all he could think about was how it was his fault.
The first steps were the hardest, but by the time he had driven a hundred miles away from Beavon Hills, he had convinced himself that it was for the better. She was free now, she could become whoever she wanted to be. She could go explore the real world, without having to fear territory fights or werewolf politics. She could be with whomever she wanted to be; not just pick someone from the small circle of people that either knew about werewolves or were werewolves themselves. She didn’t have to stay with him.
It was better this way, he told himself.
He tells it to himself again now, standing on the porch and staring at the driveway as if the image of her walking away the other day was branded on it. Because he thinks that, if he doesn’t keep telling himself, he’ll forget.
Tonight was the first time I actually sat down and actually wrote something that's been on my mind for a while. New show, new characters, hope you enjoy.
Title: It's better this way
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Teen Wolf
Characters: Derek Hale, original female character
Summary: "The first time he sees her again, it's like running into a brick wall." Based on the idea that the Hale family wasn't the only family living in the house and that Derek and Laura grew up with another girl. When they left Mystic Falls behind, they left her, too.
Disclaimer: As always, I own nothing. I'm just playing around.
The first time he sees her again, it feels like running into a brick wall. All the air suddenly seems to have disappeared from his lungs, leaving his mind flailing helplessly and his wolf howling.
She looks good. Older, of course, but healthy. She’s wearing a knee-length skirt and a blouse typing away on her cell phone as she crosses the street.
She doesn’t see him. He doesn’t want her to.
He follows her through town a little, watching her pick up groceries and have random talks with people he thinks he should remember but doesn’t. She smiles at them, laughs even, and all of a sudden the pain that’s been constricting his chest becomes unbearable and he leaves.
The second time he sees her, they are at the vet’s. There is a rival pack in town, going on a rampage and the Argents have offered a truce in exchange for some insight and manpower. Everybody seems to be there, not just the vet and Chris Argent, but his daughter Allison, as well as Scott, Stiles, Jackson and Lydia. His pack.
He actually smells her before she enters the room, stopping dead in her tracks when she sees him. The smile she’d been sporting while casually joking around with her friend —Ben, he notes— vanishes from her face and is replaced by a scowl. She doesn’t say a word, though, only stands by the vet and listens to everyone else. She doesn’t look at him again, not even when he has the word and the truce between all parties is formally laid out and agreed upon.
She’s the first to leave.
He doesn’t plan to, but he follows her scent. It’s been so long, too long, since he’s had the chance to smell it, and he hadn’t realized just how much he’d missed it.
As he rounds a corner, there she is. Leaning against a wall, selecting a song on her iPod.
„Gonna keep ignoring you,“ she singsongs without looking at him. She pushes off the wall and starts walking again. „Please go away.“
He starts keeping tabs on her then. It’s not a conscious decision, not really, but somehow, he finds himself in all the places she goes to, if only just to smell that scent again and let his wolf bask in it. He’s careful to avoid her enough that she doesn’t see him, because she told him to leave. She’s angry, he can tell, but she has every reason to be. He did, after all, get her family killed.
He gets to his house one night about a week later to find her sitting on his porch. As he gets out of his car, she looks up and right at him with as much menace as he’s ever seen her display. In his memories, she’s wild and bubbly, full of energy and always running around. He notices how she sighs before she speaks.
„I’m here to prep you for tomorrow,“ she says evenly, trying not to show how upset she is. Obviously, she’s not there by choice.
He only nods, doesn’t want to anger her further and opens the door to the house for her. She scoffs.
„Not going in there, Hale. Get your stuff out here.“
He watches her touch the clothes he brings out, watches as she rubs herbs over them, watches her lips move.
Out of all the things that she could have surprised him with, the fact that she’s a witch is the one he can’t seem to wrap his head around.
She puts a gem in the pockets of his pants before putting his clothes on the top porch step and turning to leave.
„That’s all?“ It’s a stupid question, but maybe it’ll make her stay longer.
„That’s all,“ she echoes.
They look at each other for a moment and it takes all of his will power not to jump at her.
He watches as she turns around to walk away again. It makes his wolf howl.
„You know,“ she suddenly says and turns around, „I always imagined you’d come back. I knew you would, because really, there was no way you would just leave me behind, right? I thought you just needed some space, some time to sort through everything that happened, but you’d come and get me eventually. It’s so funny, because I…“ she gestures wildly at the house, „I didn’t even leave the damn thing for two months after the fire. Because what if you came back but you couldn’t find me?“ He can see the tears in her eyes now, follows the trail of one running down her cheeks. „But eventually, after two, three, four, five years, I realized that I was wrong.“
He wants to tell her that he’s here now, but as he opens his mouth, she continues:
„And now you’re here. You’re back. And I don’t know whether to be ecstatic or horrified, because you didn’t come back for me. You didn’t come here because you suddenly remembered the girl you grew up with. You came for revenge. And once that’s done, you’ll leave again. So,“ she takes a deep breath and wipes at her face, „do me a favor: Leave me alone. Stop hovering, stop following me, stop watching me, for God’s sake. Yes, I know about that. Seriously, Derek, I grew up with werewolves, you’d think I picked up a thing or two. Stop wiggling back into my life only to walk out of it again.“
She doesn’t run away, like he expected. She stares him down, challenging his authority as the alpha —technically her alpha— and then, very slowly turns and walks down the driveway.
From then on, he feels like he’s surrounded by her. Like when he has to move his stuff to a different room of the house because the roof is leaking and he realizes his mattress is now in her old room. Or when he slips into Stiles’ room to ask about that research and he can smell that she’s been there.
All the memories he’d carefully tucked away into the deepest corners of his mind are reappearing, too. Them pranking Laura when they were younger. The way her mother freaked out when she had dyed streaks of her hair bright pink. Her laugh at one of the jokes Peter liked to tell at the dinner table. Most of all, he remembers the way she had always looked at him like he was her personal hero.
And then he also remembers her screams when she saw the fire, remembers holding her back from running in. He remembers her tears and then, after the fire had subsided, the look on her face as she realized that they were all dead.
„How could this happen? Who does something like that?“ she had asked him.
Me, he’d wanted to say, it was me.
He hadn’t planned on walking away. But every time that he looked at her, he realized how broken she was and all he could think about was how it was his fault.
The first steps were the hardest, but by the time he had driven a hundred miles away from Beavon Hills, he had convinced himself that it was for the better. She was free now, she could become whoever she wanted to be. She could go explore the real world, without having to fear territory fights or werewolf politics. She could be with whomever she wanted to be; not just pick someone from the small circle of people that either knew about werewolves or were werewolves themselves. She didn’t have to stay with him.
It was better this way, he told himself.
He tells it to himself again now, standing on the porch and staring at the driveway as if the image of her walking away the other day was branded on it. Because he thinks that, if he doesn’t keep telling himself, he’ll forget.