Confused Musings

Happy Birthday

2013-10-22T14:31:37Z

Happy Birthday Gretchen.

Hope it's a day as awesome as you are.

Heather

smoooom @ 2013-09-21T10:31:00

2013-09-21T14:31:13Z

Whine on.

Sometimes I wonder one simple thing. What is wrong with me? Not in a physical sense, but in a being friends sense. What am I doing wrong?

Whine off.

smoooom @ 2013-08-28T09:25:00

2013-08-28T13:25:39Z

School is both a near and far. The first week is an introduction to the program and we don't actually begin classes until the ninth. Wayne has a surprise Epidural on the 6th of September. No idea how we are gong to work that out. Although I'm not complaining about the epidural. Mike is registered and Ian will be registering the first week.

September looms

2013-08-02T18:43:47Z

It seems that I get to go to school in September. Social Services Worker. Second Career will cover all tuition, books, and what ever other expenses attached to the start of school. They will also pay something of an allowance each month, all I have to do is see if the Second Career funding will muddle up Ontario Works. I don't think it will because when we applied I told them I was applying to Second Career and asked if I would still be eligible if i went to school on Second Career. They said it wouldn't. D, my worker with Second Career wants to double check. That will have to wait until Tuesday. I am how ever getting VERY excited that I can go back to school, two years worth. Mike had been accepted into the PSW program, I'm getting my old text books together for him. It will save $700 or so for him. And Ian is all set for upgrading. This means there will be three of us at Northern College. Kind of cool.

Quick note.

2013-06-29T18:31:27Z

I keep on forgetting to post here. Facebook is where you will find me more these days. But I thought I should do a quick hey look Heather's in the hospital. I went to emerg on Thursday following three days of diarrhea, that alone wouldn't have sent me off, pain and throwing up is what got me to go. With all the adhesions I have I don't fool around with that combo. The good news was no obstruction partial or otherwise. Not so good news I have pancreatitis, the two main causes of this are a) a gall stone makes a visit and b) heavy alcohol use. So we have no idea why this happened. I love the word idiopathic. Really it's a cool word. So I miss the bikers reunion, a big deal up here, and might still be here on Monday. I don't think I will for sure, I think they will let me out tomorrow, they discontinued my IV about an hour ago. Oh and while the hospitals free WiFi works really well my room is right on the end of the building. I don't get connectivity there at all. So I am in the surgical waiting room at the moment.

More ater

out of the blue

2013-06-16T17:26:45Z

Another post after forever. Oh life has been busy, and up and down. more of the same really.

Then there is this. http://cdn.realtor.ca/listing/reb90/medres/2/131112_3.jpg?PhotoId=635055524181930000

I really don't need to buy a train station, even though I can think of half a dozen things to do with it business wise. Must look at governemnt grants.

Pictures!

2013-05-03T02:52:28Z

since I can now play with Vicky's old Canon a lot more I may end up posting more pictures. My dad liked pictures with people in them as a reminder of places and activities. I used to love taking pictures of flowers and rocks, textures and all that. He never really got my "arty" style. I'm hoping that I can rediscover it now and learn new things and take lots of pictures. here are two from todays walk.

Con report

2013-05-01T01:40:47Z

So this time last week I was a little of base. I wrote a Non con report.

This isn't exactly a report, it's more observations and musings.

Some years FilKONtario work better than others. some years are stellar cons and all that but that's all. Other years have a, dare I say Magical quality to them. This year was Superb, and it hit the magic out of the park. Having been on the Con com for some years I always try and figure out WHY some years hit it out of the park and others are just, well really, really good. And I have never been able to. Guests? Location? Attendies? Con Com? It seems to be some unknowable mix of all four. Years where the magic isn't there we still have the best filk con I know. sorry other guys, but that's the way IO see it. When the mix is right? well I love magic. So this years Con com. Don't worry about trying to repilcate this year, you can't. All you can do is continue to do the hard work and planning that you always do. You don't know know how to do anything less. You are together greater than the sum of your parts. keep up the good work. And if next year is not "Magic" it will still be FilKONtario so therefore it will still be awesome.

Vicky regards her trip to FilKONtario as her "vacation" I love watching here interacting with people she knows. Someday I'd like to get her to another con. I just wish California or England weren't so far. Consonance and the British Filk con would be my first choice of cons to take her. I suspect it will be the NE floating filk con or OVFF. Both good conventions.

I love working the Interfilk table, it gives me a reason to be in the room. That might sound dumb, but I can deal with the noise and people when I have to be there. I need to be useful. More musings on that and how it's connected to how well I function as I figure it out. Interfilk is an awesome organisation, I love giving back to it in any way I can. Sitting the tables at FilKONtario seems like little enough.

It was nice to see the inductees into the Filk Hall of fame. I didn't get to talk to Cecilia Eng but did talk to Roberta Rowgow. her comment "I feel validated" resonated with me. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who would like to feel that way. I'm not alone. Perhaps it's not a horrible thing to want people to acknowledge that I have made a contribution.

My last post was made in the throws of post con let down. What I said was how I felt. But I've had a chance to re-calibrate. I suspect that the tweak to my meds, and a start reading the book the Dr recommended "Mind over Mood" has made a difference. I should know better than to base how I feel on the end of a con, especially Sunday night. I may not always like all of me, but I am working on it, and for the most part the filk community local and extended is a huge support. I need it and would miss it if it were gone.

So a con report that isn't a con report.

smoooom @ 2013-04-02T15:37:00

2013-04-02T19:36:11Z

I've been busy, I have seven quilt tops to finish. Five were made in the last month. I have another one in the wings laid out it's just waiting to be cut out. I think that I am back to as normal as I'm going to be after my concussion. I'm going back to school in January to finish my PSW, Mike will be doing the course in September as part of getting ready to upgrade so he can do the Practical Nursing. So we'll both graduate together, which I think could be pretty cool.

Wayne and I are going to Ad Astra this weekend, and not an hour ago we discovered that the Van is broken, again. It's been towed to the garage and hopefully there will be a functional Van by Thursday, the kids need to be mobile while we're gone. Mom will need to go shopping and get to church. While we have transit up here it's not awesome. I justhope it's not an expensive fix, it may include all the back breaks. Plus to new rear tires. I'm seeing $$$$$ signs. I hope it's not as bad as I think.

Hmmm Spring hasn't arrived, no Robins in sight, and I'm not sure how long it will be before spring actually arrives.. We will see.

More Later.

Not doing the best

2013-03-05T02:41:47Z

Subject says most of it. Up and down, I think that I'm over the concussion, now all I have to do I get over winter and get my life back!

Being depressed,

2013-02-18T16:15:21Z

Sometimes it's hard to figure out how much of what I'm feeling is Winter blues, reaction to having to quit school and how much may be due to the concussion. All I do know for sure is that I'm really depressed. I should figure out what I'm going to do. I know it's situational but I don't know if I can do anything on my own.

Space music

2013-02-08T22:54:24Z

No really, music from space. Chris Had

field who is on the International Space Staion, is not only Canadian but a musician. These links are all over face book. I heard ISS as I was driving into town for various things, some of which I of course forgot, and was blown away. when I saw the video it just added to the WOW! so there are two songs. Jewel from Space and ISS Is Somebody Singing. ISS has prinable sheet music it's in a ling part way down the page. Now hold on a moment while I try and do this.

=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YufsbE4-jmY Jewel in the Night, from december.

http://music.cbc.ca/#/Space/blogs/2013/2/Space-jam-watch-the-premiere-of-ISS-Is-Somebody-Singing This is the one I heard on the radio. As I said the Sheet Music is available about half way down the page.

Varied

2013-02-06T16:07:54Z

Well, it would have been if I could find my camera. we have two new additions to the family. BJ a kitten who was simply to cute to leave at the pet store, and MB who we acquired about two weeks later because BJ was lonely all on his own in the basement. They had been fostered together and are now the best of kitten friends. I was going to post a picture, but as I said my camera has disappeared. It will turn up. It is now twice as exciting to visit the boys in the basement. Kittens are such fun. In other fun I applied for a job yesterday. we will see what happens with that. I see the doctor tomorrow for an assortment of items. I hope he can suggest something for my head. Yesterday I ended up with an ache that is from the concussion plus the throb that is sinuses. Fairly distracting. Now more distracting is MB, short for mega byte. He was abandoned with his litter mates at about three weeks old. So he's been bottle fed. Like many kittens weaned to soon he likes to suckle. It is cute, and annoying at the same time. That's where he got his name from. I've been suckled on so many times typing this that my arms are now clean. (g) It is I think time for the yung men to go back down stairs. And for me to figure out what to do about my head and see what I can get done today.

smoooom @ 2013-02-05T11:58:00

2013-02-05T16:58:29Z

Waynes Epidural went well. We found out wy we have had no mention of a surgery consult, we need to wait until after the epidural. I have picked up a bug, it's not horribly bad, but combined with the other stuff that's going on it's flattened me. I had a flu shot (per school policy) and this feels flu like but not all the way. The non scientific part of my brain says, :I have the flu, but it's not as bad because I got the flu shot" I know that's not how it works, the shot gives you immunity against the flu virus they think will be bad this season. As far as I know there is no "partial" immunity. still I begin think that some of this is depression, or at least blues because of having to quit my program. The best defence against that is to get going and do things. There are jobs available up here. Chambermaid, line cook, and such like. Problem is, I am still bleary eyed, and dizzy. Till I see the doctor on Thursday I'm not sure I should do something long term wise. It was a little knock on the head. The blurrynes isn't all the time, but aughhhhhhhhh. yes I'm frustrated. I really hate this, look, this has turned into a whine. what else is new.

that upgoer thing

2013-01-23T17:38:46Z

I am going to school to learn how to be a person who helps sick people.

words I could not use, Nurse, personal, support.

The state of my head.

2013-01-23T00:26:48Z

Taken from my facebook post.

Sometimes I hate, well not my life, but the things that happen in it. I went to clinical this morning. I didn't even make it on to the floor. I had a chat with my instructor and we both deemed it wise for me to not be doing care today. My head was pounding, I was dizzy and my eyes were doing the fuzzy thing. Now I need a note not to say I shouldn't be doing clinical, but to say I'm safe to come back. Meanwhile I still don't feel a whole bunch better than I did last Thursday, so I'm not entirely sure that I can get a note saying I CAN go back. I can make up a certain amount of days missed in Preceptorship, but not any more than two. Tomorrow will be three. Thursday Mike and I are taking my Mom to see her heart specialist in Sudbury. How I feel at the end of day will be a major indicator of how I'm healing. This is too much thinking and typing. I'll be back later.

Pretty pictures

2013-01-14T21:10:45Z

So it's beautiful up here. Just like it's beautiful in so many other places. I'm not claiming top beauty spot or anything. Oh wait a minute, in one respect I am. I think our school has the most amazing view from the second floor front side. In order these pics are. This morning picking Mom up so she could work at the bunker. This was at 8am. I need to change the time on my camera. The next two pictures are the view from Northerns Cafeteria. The second is zoomed in somewhat. The first peninsular of land is Ontario the one further back is Quebec. Enjoy!

Anthology to look for

2013-01-13T01:16:54Z

Wayne has a short story in an Anthology that is coming out in February. It's called "What scares the Boogyman" the cover picture I have is a little truncated. But I'll post it anyway. We will (I think) `have copies at Filkontario.

Just a pretty picture this time.

2013-01-06T18:15:43Z

In an attempt to get my body on track to wake up at the right time tomorrow I've been setting my alarm earlier to get up. This hasn't worked. Partly because I have stuff to do that I know I have to do but really don't want to. This is called Heather is a lazy housekeeper. Getting to sleep has been iffy as well. Tonight will work, since I have to be up for clinical. 5am. I had forgotten such a time existed. This week we will be getting new tires for the Toyota, Mike and Ian will be registering for school and lie starts up again. I really do need an actual routine to function. Such a wuss. All that aside I'm thinking of signing up for this song writing course that starts in March. Most of my class work will be done by then, I'll be full time working at that point. https://www.coursera.org/course/songwriting

And here is a picture of the view from the dock in New Liskeard. Not a lot of detail since I'm still using my point and shot. A decent camera is on my list, I might get one for graduation.

Popular winter pastimes, up here at least.

2013-01-05T20:20:19Z

Ice fishing. (Yes I've heard the joke and made it) is a huge deal up here, it's only the first week of January and the ice has only just been declared thik enough to use. But already you can see that Ice fishing is a big deal up here. along with snowmobiling and the other usual winnter sports, more about them in another post.

Todays pictures are in aid of a really really bad pun, that i have to share or I will explode. First an Ice fishing Hut waiting to be towed to the lake.

Now a picture of them in their natral setting. On the lake. Man this one is fuzzy.

A further away veiw. I need a better camera. Yes those are vehicles along side the Huts.

And now....

You'd think that with all these Hut's around I was on Tattoine.

There it's done and out. Now I can rest.

smoooom @ 2013-01-04T10:19:00

2013-01-04T15:19:09Z

Heat Wave, it's -2 this morning. I think the fishing hut on the lake might be a little premature. Or not, I don't know much a bout how lakes ice over. I'm getting a little nervous about Monday morning. We start our clinical experience, and we have to be at The Lodge by 6:15, I used to be a morning person. Not so much any more. That BTW is about all I can say about anything practical, "The Lodge" I can say if I had a good or bed day, but I can't even post in utter generalities about the clients. This isn't a complaint as such, just statement of what is. Some people in the past have been utterly stupid and posted names and pictures on face book and such. Without anyone's permission. which is stupid beyond reason. So now the rule is. Don't talk about clients in any way shape or form. Which I understand, some people don't understand about respecting peoples privacy. So I'll be at the Lodge Tuesdays and Wednesdays. Except for this week when it will be Monday and Tuesday. I don't know why I'm nervous, I've done this before, it's what I want to do.

Oh yes, in good news my Blood Pressure which has risen to alarming rates during last semester. 160/90 and other such horrible numbers, has been averaging about 135/75. I bought a cuff so I could monitor my BP at home and I'm quiet happy to see it come back down. It has nothing to do with my slightly elevated cholesterol, it was stress from school. We will see what my Dr says. In that same light Vicky still doesn't have a family doctor assigned. it's insane.

Well I'm off to take Mom shopping and get some photocopying done at school.

Recycling

2013-01-03T15:24:22Z

Somethings are a little more complicated to do up here in the currently frozen north. We can't compost outside, the city doesn't pick up recycling and there is no green bin at all. I've been looking into worm composting, but I'm a little leary of it. I should ask around up here and see if anyone else does it. That would take care of compost and much of the green bin. The fun part that remains is that you have to do your own recycling. There are several stations around the area and it's actually not that hard to do. The hard part is remembering to do it. If you wait to long then you can have overflowing recycling. Mike and I did ours and Moms yesterday. So here are two pictures. One of the recycling center, this one is in Hailybury and takes glass, the other picture is the view fron the same place.

I think I managed to size them so that they don't eat up all sorts of space.

Jan 2nd

2013-01-02T14:30:00Z

-24 this morning. Cold no mater how you look at it. Clear blue sky and beautiful. I love the clear blue but am not so fond of the cold that goes with it. I got a quilting frame for Christmas (and a bunch of other things mixed in) I've been working on being able to use it. The video make it look easy, I think I have the trick almost down. It's a matter of my speed with the carriage movement and the speed of the machine. I think I'm going to take the new machine of the tracks and play with it just as a machine. Then I'll know it's foibles a little better. Still once I get the trick down, look out world. I might even sell a few quilts.

Not going far today, it's cold and it seems that half the area shuts down between Christmas and New Years. And today seems to still count as new years. One of the drawbacks of small town living. Poetry/Music gathering at my Moms tonight, think filk with poets and me feeding them an assortment of songs. Many of them filkish, hoping to hook up with a guy who plays the Madolin and sings tenor. He might be interested in music type things.

also thinking about new years resolutions. Beyond graduating and getting a job that is.

Good bye 2012

2012-12-31T23:46:55Z

A year that bought more changes in it than we ever expected. I'd like to wish every one a happy, healthy and productive New Year.

While I have goals for my self, and Mike and Ian are reving up for their own I really only have one thing that I want to happen. I'd like my Husband back. I really hope that this year he can have the surgery that seems to have worked well for others, and that he can stop being in pain all the time and that well, like I said I can have my husband back. I also hope that for any of my friends who are going through cancer treatments and such, that everything goes well and all the bad stuff goes into remission. Far far to many people who I care about are in pain or have Cancer or something. While I know this is part of life, sometimes I wish it would just all stop, even for a day or two.

Next on the list? World peace.

Things to look forward to

2012-12-29T23:44:50Z

Now that I'm actually really functioning, and have a working camera again I'm going to start showing you all the place I've moved to. You'll get some history as well. This area of Northern Ontario has quite a fascinating past. Here are a few to start things of with.

this one was taken on the 11th of October. This was followed by about 9 inches of snow. People teased me that I was in the North now and should get used to it.

More as I organise in my head how I'm going to do this.
And figure out how to make the pictures smaller.