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starting from 7:40
The elbow to the face wasn't the part that hurt, though, y'know, it definitely contributed. No, the elbow to my face just sent my flying backwards and helped me knock out the bird bath. But, hey, not like any birds were gonna be using it if the whole world exploded, right? No, the part that hurt was that it was Angel. Even after everything he had done, how he had changed, it was Angel. And as I picked myself up off the ground back to a sitting position, I knew that. And when I looked him in the eyes, even if there was no sign of the man I loved in them, he was wearing his face. How was I supposed to just ignore that?
I made it to my feet just in time to stumble backwards as Angel continued to advance, the sword in his hand, whereas I could see mine lying plenty of feet away. Great. So much for that brilliant plan.
"Now, that's everything, huh?" He swaggered towards me as I hit the ground, back to the ivy-covered wall. No. No, it couldn't end like this. But, the scared look in my face was betraying me. "No weapons, no friends, no hope." His voice lilted as he wagged the sword back and forth. Ass. No. No, it wasn't Angel. Not anymore. I shut my eyes, forcing myself to believe it. Forcing myself to accept it -- he was gone. And he was never coming back. "Take all that away and what's left?"
I heard the jab through the air and stopped the sword, pressing it between my palms and blinking my eyes back open. Just because he was never coming back didn't mean I had to let the rest of the world go with him.
"Me." I gripped the sword between my palms and forced it back, knocking him in the face with the hilt enough to get him to stumble. Jumping back to my feet, I followed it with a kick to the face. I wasn't going to slow down, wasn't going to give him enough time to get his bearings. I couldn't. I had to keep moving, doing what I do best.
I got him back far enough to get my sword, grabbing it off the floor and swinging it around, parrying a few of his attempts to hit me and swinging it with precision to try and get my own hits in. The metal clanged loudly, resounding through the air, lightning fast. The blades were barely perceivable at this point, but I knew where they were. I just knew. Spinning, I brought the blade down with both hands over my head to try and get a better hit in, but he fended it off. I knocked his blade away and got him to one knee, then spun again and kicked him across the side of the face.
I flung him back out of the courtyard into the main room of the factory, pacing after him. I was in control again. The upper hand, he didn't have it. This was already over, and I knew. I knew what I had to do and I was ready. The sword fight continued, and we matched each other's blows. Almost. I got a hit in, clipped his hand and got him to drop it. I kicked him in the face again, backwards, toward the statue of Acathla. Raising my sword up over my shoulder, I watched him drop to his knees, ready to take his head off and --
He gasped. Pained, surprised. Hurt. His eyes glowed briefly and he choked. He lowered himself, his head to the concrete, and I stayed my hand, watching in disbelief. Slowly, tears began to fall from his eyes and he struggled to look back up at me.
"Buffy?" He didn't know. He had no idea. No concept of what the past few months had even been, and all it took was that one word for me to realize it. The pain hit fresh, my heart clenching. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't let myself believe it, but --
But, it was him. It was Angel.
"What's going on?" Oh, god. He looked so lost. So crushed and confused. And all I could do was watch him, speechless, as he tried to glance around the room. He got to his feet before I could even bring myself to lower the sword. There was steady disbelief in my expression still, I knew. I could feel it. I didn't want to -- couldn't believe. I couldn't. It was a trick, it had to be. Some last ditch effort. "Where are we?" My eyes widened, stunned, the last bits of denial falling away.
No. No, no, no. It was him. It was really him.
"I don't -- I don't remember." Slowly, I lowered the sword, allowing myself to believe finally that it could be him. That he could be back. That whatever the others were doing, they had managed the impossible. I looked at him, really looked at him, and I saw --
"Angel?" I let myself say it out loud, let myself hope. He reached out to touch my arm where his sword had cut my shirt away, drawn blood. He seemed … concerned. I'd almost forgotten what concern looked like on his face.
"You're hurt." I looked up at him, in awe, so grateful as I stepped closer to him. I pulled him in closer, wrapping my arms around his ribcage and resting my chin on his shoulder. It couldn't be real, but I could feel him. It was. He was here, he was back, and I didn't know how but I knew, could feel that it was him. "Oh, Buffy. God. I feel like I haven't seen you in months. Oh my god, everything's so muddled, I --"
I couldn't bring myself to say anything. Couldn't begin to explain what the past few months had been, couldn't even hold it against him. Call I could do was hold him, and bury my face in the crook of his neck. Be with him again, finally. He kissed my shoulder, voice rife with emotion as he said again, "Oh, Buffy."
I squeezed my eyes shut, pulling him in close and trying not to cry. Then, when I opened them, I saw something I wished I never had. As my tears fell, dread welled in my stomach.
Acathla.
The portal was opening. Slowly, before my eyes, the energy was bubbling out of the statue's opening mouth in bright, colored light and swirling as it prepared to pull us and the rest of the world in with it. No. No, not now. Not when I knew what it would take to close it again. My mouth dropped open and I froze in Angel's arms as he held me. Slowly, I drew back, eyes distant and hollow.
"What's happening?"
I'm sorry. Angel, I'm sorry. That's what I wanted to tell him. I wanted to hold him and promise him that I'd do everything I could to hang onto him if I only could. But, I couldn't. And I couldn't make it harder. So, I pressed my hand to his lips, shushing him softly. If nothing else, he could be at peace with this.
"Don't worry about it." I touched his face, slowly leaning in to kiss him ardently, fervently, the kind of kiss I'd missed ever since -- But, it couldn't last. I couldn't let it. An upset, pained noise made its way from my throat despite how I tried to hold it in and I pulled back slightly, my hand resting in his hair, looking up into his eyes. Seeing him for the last time. Him. Angel. Not Angelus. Not the monster. The man. The man that I loved, more than anything in this life. "I love you," I whispered, tears brimming worse than before. My lips contorted around the words as I tried to bite back the sobs.
"I love you," he returned.
"Close your eyes," I asked, giving him a reassuring nod. When he did, I kissed him lightly again. One last time. And then I stepped back, and with both hands, ran the sword through his stomach and sent him back into the portal Acathla had made. I stepped back holding back the tears as he reached out to me, as he cried out my name for help. For some kind of salvation from the fate that I'd just resigned him to. When he was gone, when the portal closed, I finally let myself cry. Tears poured down my cheeks and I reached up to cover my mouth in my hands. I couldn't. The loss was too heavy, too harrowing. How was I supposed to --?
I loved him. And now he was gone forever.
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