if you ever loved me...i never knew

Rebel Yell - Fourth Part

2012-08-29T18:58:21Z

Author: Slarya
Pairing: KyuHyuk
Genre/Rating: Romance/PG-13
Words: 2,024
Warnings: For now just cursing...boys will always be boys ;)

Summary: Welcome to SM University! This is suppose to be the best three years of Kyuhyun's life, after finally getting accepted in the most prestigious University of the country, Cho Kyuhyun wants nothing more than to be the best singer/composer in South Korea...only one small problem lies ahead of it and it goes by the name Lee Hyukjae!

A/N: This chapter is a little shorter but I thought it would be better short than taking another week to update ;)

Rebel Yell

Morning comes and with it a terrible headache that seems to divide his brain in half.

It takes some time to realize where he is and why he's feeling like crap.

Lee Hyukjae slowly opens his eyes; he's in his room and the light from the window is narrow and soft. On the left side of the room lays Donghae on his own bed with the covers all over the floor. With both hands he rubs against his eyes trying to erase what's left of the sleepiness and perhaps stop the damn headache.

His body feels heavy, he smells like cheap beer and cigarettes. Flashes of the previous night slowly come to mind filling in the empty puzzle spots. He remembers now seeing both of them together, he remembers the lump forming on his throat and not allowing the breath to come through his lungs and he remembers that punk...Cho Kyuhyun.

Yes, now he knows how the got here and it's not a happy memory.

"You can let go now, it's ok...you can let go."

There are arms holding him tight apparently protecting him but he feels caged, he feels imprisoned. He pulls against those arms -arms that belong to an enemy he reminds himself- but he feels so week, so out of energy to even lift a finger. His mouth is his best weapon and he intents to have full use of it.

"Leave me the hell alone, don't touch me!" His words die in the air as soon as they're out, in fact the arms seem to close around him even tightly, if it's possible. "I told you to fucking leave me alone!" His voice raises and finally he pulls away. He's not able to look the other in the eyes, he feels ashamed and he's pissed because this is the kind of situation he clearly doesn't want to be caught in.

"There are few taxis around the corner let's go grab one." It's all the other man says in his calm and deep voice, it annoys him even further to know the other is so normal despite catching Hyukjae in this type of drama. One hand travels along the watery skin of his face and by the time it's done the tears are non-existing.

"Why don't you go fuck yourself." Getting back on his feet he starts walking away.

"You know one of these days people will start to see beyond that mask you wear and then what's left?" This stops him on his tracks, he wants to go away and he doesn't have to stay and listen to all this bullshit but somehow his feet are attached to the ground and refuse to step away. "You try so hard to keep people away using that kind of language and attitude, thinking it will save your ass from being found out but do know this Lee Hyukjae...I have you figured all out."

"You know nothing about me."

"Wanna bet?"

Hyukjae looks over his shoulder. Kyuhyun's eyes seem to be searching for something...maybe a crack on his armor, a way to crawl under his skin and find his flaws to use against him.

"Stay away from me from now on, I won't say it twice."

He leaves the other standing there and quickly walks away.

Pulling the covers to the side he moves out of the bed and walks inside the bathroom. The hot water in the shower is enough to finally wake him up, his muscles are tense and his right ankle is still hurting. How long will it be to finally heal? He stays there for few minutes but eventually turns off the water, his roommate will kill him if he uses all the hot water again.

"Hey are you ok?" Donghae is at the door, a look of worry touching his sleepy face.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Why didn't you tell me you were going out? I would’ve gone with you."

"Needed some time to think." With quick fingers Hyukjae styles his hair, brushes his teeth and finishes dressing. The baby blue jeans are old but comfortable and the red hooded sweatshirt looks good against his pale skin, today he really needs a boost of confidence.

"Are you coming back to classes on Monday?" Donghae asks following the other back to the room and sitting by the window.

"Yeah."

"You are?" The slightly younger boy has his eyes open wide in shock and confusion.

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Hae, you were all week bugging me non-stop because I wasn't going and now that I'm telling you I will be attending the classes you ask me why?" The boy only nods in response. "Seriously?"

"It's just...you weren't going because of you know who," Hyukjae rolls his eyes, "and now you are going...did you fixed it? Are you guys together again?"

"No." It's like a well placed dagger on his heart but he ignores the piercing pain. "But I'm not a child so I need to stop acting like one. My life won't end because of this."

"But you'll see him in classes, around campus and even at home. Will you be really ok Hyukkie?"

"I will if you stop talking about it." He says in exasperation. Donghae gets the message because he keeps quiet for the rest of the time while dressing.

"What about that guy?" The only thing Donghae gets in response is a slight raise of an eyebrow. "You know that new kid, Cho Kyuhyun."

"What about him?" Hyukjae suddenly gets the feeling he won't like what he's going to hear next.

"Well you kind of kicked him pretty hard and last night I saw him coming back with you."

"He was not coming back with me! We were walking the same street, quite different from what you're implying." His friend scratches his head confused. "I'm going to practice a little." And without another word he leaves the room, the door banging loudly on his way out.

*** ***

The music on the stereo plays loudly, Hyukjae likes it that way.

He likes the feeling of losing himself with the beats of the tracks, his brain won't be thinking of anything any time soon because he's immersed in the noisy sound surrounding the practice room.

He looks himself in the mirror covering the left wall: black t-shirt damp with sweat, hair falling disheveled over his forehead and eyes, the white bandage on his right foot circling his ankle and rising to the middle of his leg.

He turns and spins once, twice and falls. He curses when tears rise to his eyes, from pain, from frustration. Hands close tightly into fists and he wants to punch something, someone because that's the only way the pain will go away...but it won't really, it will always be there with him, dormant, waiting for an excuse to be triggered, to be awaken...to come back and haunt him.

Once again he's back on his feet; the music keeps playing and playing and he keeps falling and falling. By the time the CD is over he's exhausted. A towel clenches around his neck and he turns surprised to see a woman smile at him.

"Finally I get to actually see your face." Her voice is sweet and caring, her eyes show concern. At that moment he hates her with all his being.

"What are you doing here?" His hands grab the towel and he pushes his face against the soft material, cleaning the sweat.

"Tried to call you but you didn't answer...again."

"Guess that probably means something, don't you think so?" Hyukjae has his bag over one shoulder and starts walking to the door. "Like for example, if the guy doesn't return the call maybe he's not interested?"

"It's not funny Hyukkie." She says annoyed but still following him down the stairs and into the lobby. "Lee Hyukjae I'm talking to you...stop right now!"

"Don't you get the picture? Leave me the hell alone!"

SLAP!

There's a loud silence after the initial shock.

Hyukjae stands in the middle of the corridor with a hand against his now red cheek. His eyes are initially big with surprise but after few more seconds they narrow and fury seems to consume him. He looks around him; students are gathering with mobile phones in their hands, recording the moment the big Lee Hyukjae is slapped by a girl, probably rolling inside with laughter at the entire situation.

"Will you stop with this nonsense and talk to me?" She repeats, tears swelling her pretty eyes.

Hyukjae turns around and pushes some guys standing right in front trying to take pictures, punches one or two right in their noses and walks away.

Cho Kyuhyun is near the stairs that lead to the library. He watches the dancer leave with hawk-eye eyes.

*** ***

"Shit" Hyukjae is sitting on the grass near the dormitories. His left cheek is red as a tomato but it doesn't hurt. Actually his pride is what hurts the most. Everyone there saw him get slapped by some random woman and everyone there also saw him run away from it like a little girl. "Could this day get any worse?"

"Here, you probably need it." Hyukjae's eyes meet with Cho Kyuhyun's smirk, it's not a pleasant sight.

"Guess I just got my answer." He mutters and tries to leave but finds himself pushed back to the ground where the singer quickly joins him. "What are you doing?"

"Look I get it you don't like me." Hyukjae rolls his eyes not really in the mood to add his dislikes to the conversation. "But right now I'm here with this ice pack and I'm sure you really need it."

"You think I need ice just because of a little slap?"

"Nop! I think you need ice for that." The boy points down and Hyukjae glances at his feet. His right ankle is swelling, the bandage feels tighter than few hours ago. Yes it hurts like hell but he won't admit it, not to this know it all punk. "Just take it, it's making my eyes hurt just from looking at it." Hyukjae prepares himself to decline rudely but before he has time to open his mouth the other surprises him. "Please."

And it's the way he says that small word that actually makes him stop and pay attention. Kyuhyun is looking at him weirdly but there's no mock or malice, instead he really seems worried, concerned. It's...an unknown feeling that takes his heart by surprise, something he can't quite describe but makes him blush when he looks at Kyuhyun's face.

With trembling hands he accepts the ice. Their fingers slightly touch and both turn to look at each other with surprise. They both feel something though they can't exactly put a name on it. Hyukjae is the first one to react by pulling his hand away and starting to take the bandage off.

The ice feels wonderful against his skin, he sighs in relieve when the pain starts to lessen after a while. Kyuhyun smirks and lets his body fall against the grass, both arms below his head. With closed eyes he starts humming a song his father used to sing to him to make him sleep.

Hyukjae glances curiously at the odd boy by his side. It's hard to understand him and his actions. The dancer was arrogant and mean since day one, there's no logic in why Cho Kyuhyun behaves like this with him.

The ice pack has turned into water by the time Hyukjae rolls a new bandage around his feet. It feels much more comfortable now but he still needs to rest. He knows he shouldn't have danced for such a long period of time but dancing it's in his system, it's his DNA main key, it makes him relax and think clearly.

He stands and Kyuhyun follows his lead..

"Thanks." It's his awkward reply to the situation. A smirk pulls at the corner of Kyuhyun's mouth and the singer raises a hand to pet Hyukjae's head. The action takes him by surprise his mouth opens but he remains silent.

"There, there...it wasn't that hard was it?" Kyuhyun winks and walks back inside. Hyukjae's hand falls over his hair, he blinks one second and the next after he's blushing madly and running back to his own room.

He definitely doesn't like Cho Kyuhyun one bit!

Rebel Yell - Third Part

2012-08-13T21:48:26Z

Author: Slarya
Pairing: KyuHyuk
Genre/Rating: Romance/PG-13
Words: 2,884
Warnings: For now just cursing...boys will always be boys ;)

Summary: Welcome to SM University! This is suppose to be the best three years of Kyuhyun's life, after finally getting accepted in the most prestigious University of the country, Cho Kyuhyun wants nothing more than to be the best singer/composer in South Korea...only one small problem lies ahead of it and it goes by the name Lee Hyukjae!

A/N: As always I'm so slow updating *bows*

The Teacher and The Gossip Girl!

Rebel Yell

The next day Kyuhyun has a black eye and a cut on his lower lip.

He stares at the mirror in the bathroom and sighs under his breath. Nice way to start his campus life; walking back inside the room he sees Sungmin still sleeping with the covers completely covering his head, it’s Saturday and the school dorms are peaceful and quiet.

Many students go away on weekends, especially on the first ones since they don’t have exams or homework to do yet. For the singer it’s just not possible, he lives four hundred miles away from SM University and he isn’t the least interested in seeing his parents just yet. He enjoys his freedom too much, at least for now.

The weather is changing with Winter coming sooner than expected; Kyuhyun grabs his black long-sleeved sweatshirt and sneakers and leaves the room silently. He starts locking the door when he hears another one opening from behind, as he glances over his shoulder a tight lump forms in his throat.

Hyukjae apparently sleeps in the room just in front of theirs; the dancer is wearing an oversized coat that makes him look even smaller and skinnier. He doesn’t notice Kyuhyun since he’s with his back turned to him and headphones covering his ears so the singer has time to walk inside his room once again and close the door softly.

He doesn’t know why he’s doing this but he feels bad. It’s stupid because he’s the one who was beaten up and treated like garbage since day one but still…his mind can’t seem to erase Hyukjae’s image from last night, his tears and his shoulders seeming like they were carrying the weight of the world.

His ear touches the wooden door and waits for some kind of sound from the other side, something that assures him it’s ok to be out in the corridor once again. He’s not afraid on the contrary, if given a chance he’ll want to kick Hyukjae just as hard to prove him he’s not the only bully around…so why is he hiding like a scared puppy?

It’s really a shame for Cho Kyuhyun to hide from a skinny, annoying and stupid brat like Lee Hyukjae. His friends back home would laugh at this sight of him and he would probably join them; this is not who he is and Lee Hyukjae isn't the one who will make him crawl away in defeat, no way!

With a new resolution he opens the door and moves outside. The corridor is empty and he doesn’t even notice the relieve washing over his body. It’s still with cautious steps that he walks inside the kitchen, his heart stops for a bit and he feels like he’s on the verge of turning around and running back to his room.

Hyukjae is sitting on a chair with his back to him; the younger man notices the other rolling a white bandage around his ankle. Over the table there are some more unused bandages and a big spray bottle. In an instant they are looking at each other, it’s like the dancer has a sixth sense and notices whenever he’s around.

His body prepares for the attack-physical or verbal- to come…it never does. Hyukjae ties the laces of the shoes again without sparing him a second glance after the original. It’s a little irritating how his presence doesn’t seem to affect the other like it happens to him all the time, maybe this is why Ryewook calls him a brat saying he's always in search of attention.

“About yesterday,” A low voice says and surprises the maknae when he realizes Hyukjae's standing right in front of him. The dancer has his hands inside the pockets of his big coat and even if he’s slightly shorter it doesn’t make him look less threatening. “If you repeat that imaginary story to anyone else you’ll regret it. I’ll make it look like an accident you can at least be sure of that.” Hyukjae lets his left hand raise and fall over Kyuhyun’s shoulder and the grip tightens a tiny bit just to clarify his words in case the singer is missing the point.

He moves past the singer ready to leave; before he actually reaches the door Kyuhyun recovers. He doesn’t like being threatened and Lee Hyukjae will know that sooner than he’s expecting. Kyuhyun grabs Hyukjae’s arm and turns him around harshly, the older man hisses in slight pain, looking confused and angered.

“I don’t like threats so this is how we’re going to deal with the big pink elephant in the room, first you will apologize for beating me. I don’t care about the verbal offenses since I also replied to them. Second I will not tell anyone simply because it’s none of their business; in fact I don’t care what you do in your free time.” Kyuhyun pulls the dancer closer and he realizes Hyukjae smells good, coconut and vanilla scent it's what his nose tells him. “If you want to fuck our dance teacher it's up to you, I really don’t care.” The last part is whispered at Hyukjae’s ear. Don’t ask him why he’s feeling such a thrill by doing this he’s also confused with his actions; he only knows he's starting to like this thing they have between them…this love-hate relationship, ok make it hate-hate but kind of growing in on me relationship.

Hyukjae is too stunned to say anything and Kyuhyun uses it to his advantage and leaves before the other as time to come after him and possibly hit him again, he kind of forgets he has asked for an apology in first place.

*** ***

For the rest of the weekend Kyuhyun stays inside his room only going out when he’s too hungry and even in those brief moments he takes Sungmin along. You never know when an “accident“ may occur.

He tells himself over and over again he’s not hiding from anyone, especially not from a certain dancer, it’s just that he likes his privacy and quiet moments and what better place than your own room to have it both?

It’s when Monday comes that suddenly the audacity and stupidity of his late actions really seem to sink in. He takes ages dressing, brushing his teeth and combing his hair every little action done and redone endless times before he’s being pushed out of the door by an annoyed Sungmin 'God damn it! Cho Kyuhyun leave the bathroom right now or I'll kick your ass before you have time to say sorry.'

In the kitchen he stays close to his hyung all the time but thankfully there’s no sign of the brown haired boy anywhere. Slowly and during the rest of his morning he forgets all about his stupid fears and continues with his life. After lunch he has a break before his next class and decides to get some fresh air, since all weekend he’s been stuck inside the room.

It's really childish if he thinks calmly about it, there's no reason to act this way.

He sits by the big trees at the garden to get some shadowing from the intense sun burning in the sky; it’s peaceful and relaxing and Kyuhyun doesn’t notice his eyelids close and his head fall over to the side.

A bird chimes and that’s what wakes him from his deep slumber: a hand rubs over tired eyes but suddenly all of Kyuhyun’s body hair stands up, in alert. He’s not sure if he’s still dreaming or not but either way he doesn’t like what’s happening.

Lee Hyukjae is sitting right in front of him observing intensely. His eyes are big and their shape is really pretty – Kyuhyun mentally kicks himself the second the last thought crosses his mind. His breathing his unsteady, he’s too nervous and yes he admits a little scared right now. He’s all alone and even if he screams for help no one will hear him - will he have to scream? He surely hopes not, that's completely girly and so not him!

He bites his tongue so he doesn’t start saying anything irrational again, his hands close tight in a fist and there are drops of sweat running along his jaw line. ‘Damn it Cho Kyuhyun, get grip of yourself!’

“I won’t kick your ass if that’s why you’re trembling.” Hyukjae says in an arrogant tone.

“I’m not trembling you-“

“I was watching you while you slept,” Kyuhyun’s mouth hangs open in confusion, the implication of the words make him slightly blush instead of scaring him…Hyukjae could have crushed him and he wouldn’t even see it coming but at the moment that doesn't really seem to bother him. “You’re indeed very ugly.” He says like it’s the most normal thing to say in a situation like this.

The singer’s initial apprehension completely disappears the moment he hears those words and next he knows he’s facing Hyukjae closer and closer until their noses brush softly. Hyukjae’s eyes widen and he’s about to take a step back but Kyuhyun doesn’t let him, instead he grabs his thin wrist and they’re so so close the singer can feel warm breath over his lips.

“Really? Am I that bad looking?”Hyukjae is suddenly uncomfortable, he starts pulling his arm but the grip is too strong. “Are you running away now scarred kitten?” He smugly asks with a knowing smirk forming at the corner of his mouth.

Hyukjae doesn’t find it amusing at all; he finally manages to pull his arm free and with both hands pushes the other away. Kyuhyun hits the tree behind him with a hiss leaving his parted lips after the impact.

“I should have beaten you more apparently.” The dancer stands up and kicks Kyuhyun’s leg once and he stomps away not allowing the younger man to see a blush creeping to his face and ears.

***

Arrr I'm telling you that guy is driving me completely insane!” Sungmin explodes, which in him means he’s already preparing his nunchakus to beat someone, Kyuhyun only hopes he doesn’t end up being the victim.

“So do something.”

“Like what genius? It's Kim Heechul we're talking about, I told you he owns every damn thing around here and apparently if he wants to be part of the drama class and change my Joana D'Arc into Rapunzel he can!” Kyuhyun chuckles lowly but his good humour doesn’t last.

Donghae joins them at the lunch area and behind him comes a reluctant Hyukjae. Even if the singer tries hard not to he can't avoid following the pair with his eyes. They sit three tables away and Hyukjae is with his back turned to him, crap now he can't see his facial expression.

Wait...what? Why is he even curious about it? Lee Hyukjae means nothing to him, the guy has only been trouble since Kyuhyun first arrived; besides he's sleeping with their teacher and that says a lot about a person...like they are completely insane.

“Kyuhyunnie are you listening?” Sungmin's voice childishly cries and he's wearing his famous pouting expression he always uses when he's being ignored...and Kyuhyun ignores him many many times. In fact he's an expert doing so.

“What?” He's too distracted because Hyukjae chooses that precise moment to turn around and call someone behind him, their eyes lock and much to his surprise the dancer turns slightly red and quickly goes back to his previous position.

“Did I miss something in the drama?” His roommate asks annoyed.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean since when is Lee Hyukjae embarrassed just because he caught you looking at him?” Damn Sungmin really is a ninja.

“I don't know what you're talking about.”

“Cho Kyuhyun...” And the way he says it sounds like a threat, the nunchakus come to mind, creepy.

“Look, I just told the guy off...he was rude and beat me up without a reason (he won't tell that secret, not even to Sungmin) and if everyone is afraid of him so be it but I won't be one of those guys...he won't see me crawl.” Sungmin smiles gently like he’s proud of him for some reason. He feels smooth fingers pet his head and pushes them away with a small pout. “Hyung, stop.” Now he's the one whining.

“Let's go,” His hyung says grabbing his bag. “Or else we'll be late for our next class.” Kyuhyun follows the older boy, his eyes glance behind one last time and his stomach flips few times when he sees Hyukjae's dark eyes watch him go.

What the hell is going on with him?

***

The week passes by quickly. Kyuhyun is drowning with loads of homework and his classes really are time consuming, he doesn’t notice time flying but he secretly notices whenever Hyukjae isn’t around.

Disappointment hits him when he realizes the dancer is missing from their dance practice again, not once all week has he been there. Their teacher doesn't inquire about the missing student and Kyuhyun finds himself hating the older man a little more each day that Hyukjae is away.

It's when the weekend arrives that something happens.

Something that changes their dynamic even if none of them realizes it.

They're at a bar a few miles away from the University. Kyuhyun and Sungmin like drinking, Siwon is also there keeping an eye on them, sometimes he acts more like their father than their friend. The music is playing loud, bodies of males and females are dancing all over the place.

A cute girl with short hair and a piercing on her eyebrow asks him for a dance, he declines – he's really bad at it- Sungmin laughs and pushes him to the dance floor, he curses when his back hits another body and turns to apologize.

Lee Hyukjae.

His heart stops beating...

...only to begin beating faster and faster.

Must be the alcohol, must be the loud music or maybe the room full of people crushing and pushing against him.

He's staring straight at Hyukjae's eyes. Dark brown eyes with a hint of honey? It's probably the lights that give them that golden inner shine. He opens his mouth to say something but nothing comes out, for once his brain fails him and he has no clue of what to say or how to act.

Hyukjae pulls past him and leaves the club.

The moment is lost.

For few seconds he stays in the middle of the dance floor not sure of what to do. The girl is next to him again, this time he purposely ignores her and walks back to his friends. Confusion consumes him, a strong desire to follow right after Hyukjae and try to understand what the hell is going on hits him.

“Are you ok?” It's Siwon's voice screaming over the loud beats of the music, Sungmin hangs on his arm laughing and singing...he's past his share of alcohol that's for sure.

“Yeah, I'm going to get some air.” And he leaves without waiting for a reply. His steps are fast as he pushes through everyone in the club until he reaches outside. The wind is cold and it's enough to make him stop and realize what he’s about to do. “You’re insane". What's he doing here? Why's he acting like a sick puppy in love...it's disgusting.

"Hyukjae I just want to talk." Kyuhyun hears a voice call and slight turns to his left in time to see his dance teacher hold Hyukjae's arm to make him stop walking. "You're acting like a spoiled child."

"Oh I'm acting like a spoiled child? I AM? Just leave me the hell alone." But Jang Hyuk doesn’t, he keeps his hold firm and Hyukjae seems unable to pull away.

"You knew what you were getting into."

"Yeah I knew...guess I really am stupid to think you actually cared."

"I do care," Jang Hyuk's hand caresses Hyukjae's face. "But it has to stop and you better than anyone know that. We can't keep doing this...it's selfish and wrong and I know I should have stopped this before but I was weak...and I'm sorry for that Hyukjae. I'm really sorry."

Jang Hyuk finally releases his student but not before his fingers brush away a silent tear.

"And go back to my classes; despite all you're still my student and I really don't want you to waste another year of your life failing the exam." Hyukjae looks down; his hands on each side of his body seem lifeless. "Are we clear?"

"Yeah..." Hyukjae flinches when a kiss is pressed against his forehead.

Kyuhyun sees their teacher walk away. He sees Lee Hyukjae once so proud and arrogant fall to his knees. He sees tears rolling and sobs being supressed. He sees desperation, a boy at the end of a cliff and no one there to catch him when he finally falls…and Kyuhyun knows he will fall.

He sees himself walk until he’s standing next to the dancer. When he lowers and pulls the boy into his embrace, he feels the initial anger boil up, ready to blow but now he knows...now he knows it's only a disguise to hide his fears, camouflage his insecurity.

So he holds tight -catches him-reassures him…

"You can let go now, it’s okay...you can let go."

A/N 2: Next chapter we'll have more Hyukjae, I think it's time to give him the stage ;)

Rebel Yell - Second Part

2012-07-08T17:57:40Z

Author: Slarya
Pairing: KyuHyuk
Genre/Rating: Romance/PG-13
Words: 2,128
Warnings: For now just cursing...boys will always be boys ;)

Summary: Welcome to SM University! This is suppose to be the best three years of Kyuhyun's life, after finally getting accepted in the most prestigious University of the country, Cho Kyuhyun wants nothing more than to be the best singer/composer in South Korea...only one small problem lies ahead of it and it goes by the name Lee Hyukjae!

A/N: Wanted to upload the chapter yesterday but my connection was so slow I didn't have patience to do it lol...I think some events will surprise most of you but they happen for a reason :)
And I'll be posting some pictures of our boys at the beggining of each chapter, they'll be introduced according to their influence in the story.

The best friends!

Rebel Yell

Hyukjae sits alone by the window.

It's the second day after the new students' arrival at the campus and everyone is still pretty much excited, new friends, new possibilities, new life.

For him nothing changes, still the same routine, still the same emptiness, still the same anger boiling inside his veins shaping his heart, molding his mind, affecting his actions.

A black Audi R8 parks few meters outside the University's gate, a beautiful and elegant woman steps outside and waits while her male companion does the same. She has long dark hair and chocolate eyes, she's young and her smile is breathtaking. In few seconds the pair is walking inside the campus through the gardens and when they're passing directly underneath the window, where Hyukjae sits, she looks up.

She waves at him, a smile graces her lips but quickly disappears when the younger boy simply turns and leaves.

Hyukjae is known as many things inside the University and depending on who you're asking. A good part of them will tell you he's trouble, he's bad news -don't go near him- others will say he's fierce and loyal...but most of all what no one ever knows and tells is that he's simply and undeniably lost.

***

The first part of the morning passes by smoothly, Kyuhyun’s favorite subject without any surprise is the Vocal class. His teacher is a man in his fifties, calm and composed and the best part of it all knows exactly what he’s talking about.

It’s when the afternoon comes that he stars getting grumpy and the only reason is standing on the other side of the room. Lee Hyukjae sits on the floor with his back against one of the white walls, his friend Lee Donghae is next to him playing with his smart-phone.

Kyuhyun could have killed cute puppies when he realized he would have to attend dance classes at least two times per week, it would be that or the acting classes…for him it hadn’t been hard to choose. Now however, while watching the other man snore lightly with his head over Donghae’s shoulder, regret slowly starts to crumple his initial decision, especially since he’s all alone with Sungmin taking his acting class.

When everyone seems to be in the room and ready to start a man steps inside; he drops his bag next to a big mirror and turns to greet the students.

“Yo guys,” Kyuhyun looks around and yeah they’re all boys, pity he would enjoy watching some pretty girls dance. “For the ones who still don’t know me I’m your dance teacher, Jang Woo Hyuk. I thought since this is day one for pretty much the whole class, except the ones who try to make my life miserable and continually fail the final exam," At this he throws a hard stare at Donghae (and probably Hyukjae since they seem to be attached to their hips) and the boy smirks back. "We could lay back a bit and simply listen to some music to relax...just feel the sound and have some fun kids."

A hip-hop track starts pumping from the stereo over a table; the more experienced dancers start warming up to the music and after the initial shy minutes one by one they step into the floor and start dancing. There's no rhythm or routine, everyone is simply doing whatever they want.

To say Kyuhyun is not impressed wouldn’t be an understatement. He eyes the class for few extra seconds and yep it’s just a bunch of guys moving around their limbs as if they’re on fire, not cool. He notices Donghae on his feet and ok the boy moves a little better than the rest but still Kyuhyun doesn’t really feel like he belongs there. This is a waste of precious time.

Hyukjae is still on the same spot but this time he has his eyes open and they’re fixed on someone. Kyuhyun follows his gaze and ends up staring at his new teacher, now that guy knows how to move and it’s kind of awesome actually, he seems to be showing a move to another student. The way his arms and legs seem to feel the air and the way his chest pops in and out at the right times…nice.

Then he remembers the other student and yes Hyukjae is still staring. There's something weird about the whole thing, Kyuhyun is positively sure the dancer is trying to kill their teacher right on the spot with his glare....what other explanation could there be for the look in his eyes?

Just before he turns away he’s caught in the act. The dancer fulminates him with deep chocolate eyes and yep Kyuhyun is feeling it again, the murder intent. He decides to ignore it and passes the rest of the class going through his ‘Korean Music’s History’ book. When they reach the end of the class he’s the first to leave and soon finds himself at the cafeteria, he really needs that dinner now.

“Kyuhyunnie!” Sungmin is already sitting at one of the big tables together with some other guys. He grabs his food and moves next to them. “This is Choi Siwon from Science and Politics and that's Yesung,” He points to a guy that has his nose immersed in a book clearly not listening to them. “Yes he’s weird, don’t mind him much.”

“Yo,” Kyuhyun greets and then remembers he left his own book at the dance room, he still needs to check some stuff to complete his first assignment. Kyuhyun never gets anything less than perfect or 100% on his tasks. “Crap forgot something, I’ll be right back.”

It’s already dark outside, the lights in the campus are turned On. Kyuhyun runs to the blue building and goes inside; his hand grabs the door knob but suddenly stops when he hears whispered voices inside. He knows this is wrong and his mother would beat him up for what he’s about to do but there’s something inside him that really, really wants to open the door and see who’s inside.

Sliding it slowly and without noise aside he pushes his head in and peaks around. The first thing he sees is Hyukjae in the middle of the floor, low music is still playing and the boy is moving almost imperceptibly to the sound of the beats. It’s nothing special honestly but even so Kyuhyun stays watching.

Suddenly from the other side of the room comes another figure and it’s easy to recognize him. Jang Woo Hyuk approaches his student from behind and Kyuhyun notices the almost immediately stiff in the younger boy’s body.

“You keep doing it.” The teacher says reproving, annoyed even. The dancer gulps, looks down and then up again but his eyes are unfocused, moving quickly from left to right.

“Do what?” And Hyukjae’s voice is nothing more than a whisper over the music. Is this the same guy that mocked him this morning in that arrogant way?

“You don’t let go…you have everything to be the best of the best and still…why do you keep pushing yourself down?”

The music stops and there’s only silence. Lee Hyukjae stares at the mirror but he’s not looking at his own reflection, Kyuhyun sees him staring right at their teacher’s eyes. He thinks he has seen enough and is about to turn around when Woo Hyuk’s right hand suddenly grabs Hyukjae’s wrist.

Kyuhyun tenses, this is wrong. Not only the spying but also the action going inside the dance room but he keeps looking. The hand grabbing the wrist moves to stand over a flat stomach and Hyukjae closes his eyes and lets his body be turned around, like he doesn’t have a will of his own.

Woo Hyuk lets his hands brush over Hyukae’s face and he pulls the boy into a gentle kiss; the singer can only see the older male pulling his student closer and closer with hands going inside the dancer's t-shirt and he feels a blush covering his cheeks. It’s not like he’s a virgin but it’s completely different from doing it with a girl…and it’s their teacher for god’s sake!

Hyukjae starts moaning and his fingers close around Woo Hyuk’s back, he seems desperate for contact. “Hyung…” His voice begging, and filled with lust is suddenly too much to take. Kyuhyun forgets about the book and tries even harder to forget what he just saw and quickly leaves the place.

When he’s back at the cafeteria he’s sweating from running and it’s hard to catch his breath. He sits again near his friends and keeps his eyes locked on the food.

“You ok?” Sungmin asks with a worried look. He must seem surprised because the other doesn’t wait for an answer and continues. “You look pale.”

“I’m fine, just tired.” Sungmin only nods and turns back to Siwon to continue their talk, they kind of ignore the singer but he’s glad they do. He’s not in the mood for chatting. The food on his mouth tastes bad and honestly he doesn’t understand why he’s feeling like shit right now. Without much enjoyment he finishes dinner and waits for his friends outside, he needs fresh air.

Lee Hyukjae suddenly appears out of nowhere, he has a strange look on his face like he has seen a ghost or something. Kyuhyun can only too well imagine what that ghost looks like. However it’s at least intriguing what he sees next; there are tears in the boy’s eyes, his nose is red and he doesn’t look too well.

Kyuhyun feels bad for the other, not really knowing what’s going on but still the guy seems really fragile at the moment. At that point Hyukjae again catches him staring and his expression is simply of blind fury.

“What the fuck do you want idiot?” The words come out like venom and the tears are non-existing. Kyuhyun hardens his look feeling the initial pity quickly washing away and into thin air.

“Me? Nothing, just trying to imagine what it would feel like to get banged by a teacher…a male teacher, that is.” His mother always tells him his tongue is sharp and he should think before using it, clearly this would have been a good day to start following the advice.

Hyukjae turns white at the implication of the strong words, eyes opening wide in horror and it’s kind of comical to see, for few seconds Kyuhyun feels a morbid sense of victory. That doesn’t last though next he knows he’s on the ground with Hyukjae sitting over him and punching him hard…make it double hard.

There’s blood on his lips and his vision is momentarily lost, he’s too dumbfounded to react immediately but after the initial shock he finally pushes the older man away and stands up. Hyukjae doesn’t give up and he’s on him again but this time Kyuhyun defends himself the best he can with arms trying to stop the blows.

Quickly the rest of the students are driven outside by the noise, Donghae and another guy he doesn’t know pull Hyukjae away from him. They have a firm hold on him but he's still trying to release his arms to charge again.

“I’ll fucking kill you, you asshole!” The dancer screams in complete rage.

“I want to see you try.” And Kyuhyun just can’t keep his mouth shut, damn it. Sungmin pulls him by the arm and Siwon is also there in case something decides to go wrong.

“Just take him away,” Donghae finally says a look of anger crossing his features. “Or else I’ll let Hyukkie go and good luck to you and your friends running away from him.”

They start walking back to the dormitories, Sungmin and Siwon always pulling Kyuhyun away but the boy still looks one last time behind. Hyukjae is furiously glaring at him, his fists tight and closed and arms being pulled back by his friends. His hair is disheveled but the singer isn't sure if it's like that because of the fight or due to the making out session he tumbled upon previously. Somehow the thought of the last choice leaves a sour flavor in his mouth.

“Just keep the dog on a leash because next time I’ll be expecting it and I won’t go easy!” He can’t seem to avoid say and as consequence Sungmin hits his head. “Oww...what hyung?”

“Like you could win Hyukjae in a fight, I told you he’s dangerous…why weren’t you listening?” There’s only silence because he avoids the question by looking at the ground. He knows this is partially his fault but Hyukjae isn’t innocent either…stealing a glance behind he sees the dancer pulling away from his friends and turning around to leave.

Kyuhyun can’t seem but to feel slightly bad at the look of defeat in the other.

Rebel Yell - First Part

2012-07-04T20:44:55Z

Author: Slarya
Pairing: Kyuhyuk
Genre/Rating: Romance/PG-13
Words: 1,702

Summary: Welcome to SM University! This is suppose to be the best three years of Kyuhyun's life, after finally getting accepted in the most prestigious University of the country, Cho Kyuhyun wants nothing more than to be the best singer/composer in South Korea...only one small problem lies ahead of it and it goes by the name Lee Hyukjae!

A/N: And I'm back with some more KyuHyuk because I seriously can't resist these two <3 Still trying to get the next chapter of "can you hear my heartbeat" done but the ideas for that story are blocked and closed in a small drawer in my brain lol
So this another idea came up and I'm really amusing myself while writing this new story, currently I have 2 chapters done besides the one I'm posting (though they still need some revision) so I'll probably have chapter 2 up around the weekend.
Let me know what you think of this and if I should continue, yes? :))
Love you guys, as always thanks for taking your time to read my work /hugs you all

This is just some pics of our two boys and how they look in my mind for this story :P

Rebel Yell

The train halts to a stop waking up the sleeping man. Looking around he notices there are only few elders left, most of the students riding the train have already exit. Grabbing his backpack and black coat he follows the others outside and watches as the big machine drives away, his heart slightly compresses when he realizes this is for real.

He glances at the small map in his hands and tries to understand where exactly he is; according to it he's really close to the university and it won't be too hard to find it. Looking around he sees only three or four students actually going in the same way; Kyuhyun fastens his pace as he really wants to be done with this, he can't wait to be inside his room and grab a good-night sleep.

After walking for almost twenty minutes he finally stands before the big white walls from his new house and school...at least for the next three years.

Cho Kyuhyun is twenty years old and he has graduated first in his class for the past fourteen. At the age of sixteen he decided he wanted to be a composer and maybe a singer too since he was actually good looking and had a voice that should be considerate 'national treasure', and no this wasn't him trying to be funny, his best friend Wookie had been the one to come up with that.

So after many hardships and almost being disowned by his father he is actually here, standing before the SM golden gates, a University only for the gifted and the best of the best. There's something inside him that's really anxious to see the competition, Kyuhyun has no problem whatsoever in admitting that when his head is fixed in something he gets it and he gets it by being better and smarter than the rest of the world.

Walking past the gates it's not hard figuring it out where to go, there's a big yellow building right to the left side of the entrance and it's packed with kids, from juniors to seniors. Kyuhyun makes his move and stands in line waiting for his turn and when he hears 'next one please' he quickly walks inside.

A woman in her forties sits behind an old looking brown desk, with big round glasses she doesn't even spare him a first glance before pulling the application card from his hands. She checks his ID and confirms the payment for the first semester and then hands him a golden key with the number 24 craved in it.

"You're in fraction B.” She says and turns him away before calling for the next person. He's about to complain when someone pulls him lightly by the elbow and next he knows he finds himself following a shorter boy outside.

"Hey I wasn't finished yet.”

"That witch won't tell you anything else. But,” The cherubim boy -it's the first thing that pops in Kyuhyun's mind after seeing the angelic expression of the other- “You're staying at the Art dormitory.”

"Care to tell me how you figured that one out?”

"Because I'm your roommate.” The cherubim cheerfully replies showing him a similar key to his own with number 24. "I'm Lee Sungmin by the way and I'm twenty two.”

Kyuhyun frowns at the information, first the cherubim is too cheerful to his taste second he really really is not happy about sharing a room with someone older than him. He doesn't enjoy having hyungs ordering him around, not that they actually could order him even if they tried.

"Don't make that face, I'll be a good hyung don't worry.” Cherubim (no, Sungmin-shi his mind craves to remember) playfully says. “So do you have a name to go with that pouting face or what?”

"I'm not pouting,” The younger immediately replies deepening his frown. “And it's Cho Kyuhyun...I'm twenty.” He resentfully adds.

"Ok Cho Kyuhyun, let's show you the campus around and then you'll drop the stuff in our room.” The younger man has no choice but to follow his hyung and he's just imagining the great year he'll have...clearly.

*** ***

It's late when they finally return to the dorms; Kyuhyun drops his dead weight on the bed standing at the left side of the room near the window and if it wasn't for Sungmin's annoying voice telling him to change clothes he would probably sleep like that.

They walked for hours and his feet feel like steel attached to his body. Now he knows there are three main dorms inside the campus. A dorms for the Communication students, B -the one he and Sungmin belong to- for the Art students and lastly C for the Political Science ones.

He also knows Sungmin joined SM University last year in the Communication department but decided to change to the Art one thanks to a student named Kim Heechul. Apparently the guy is an ‘insupportable ass’, according to his hyung’s words, who lives like a prima-donna and thinks he owns the department and with it the University Radio Station, the University Journal and the University Photographic Council.

"So what did you think of your first day?” Sungmin says, walking out of the bathroom with a towel around his neck and a pink pajama that clearly hurts Kyuhyun's innocent eyes.

"That I could have a normal roommate who doesn't dress like he's pink panther...that would be a good start.” He has only time to dodge a pillow thrown at him and smirks at his hyung's attempts to hit him. “Also my roommate could be kinder and stop trying to harass his poor and gullible dongsaeng.”

“Yah! You're no poor or gullible and I'm not a bad hyung. In fact the bad person in this room is you.” Sungmin pouts after his small outburst and sits on his bed, pulling the covers away and preparing to sleep.

Kyuhyun trades his jeans and sweater for a simple pair of black cotton pants and a red t-shirt and quickly mimics his hyung's actions. The bed is comfortable and the pillow is fluffy and soft...ahh he's really going to sleep peacefully tonight.

"Good night hyung.” He calls and sees Sungmin smile in return.

"Night Kyuhyunnie.” They turn the lights off and prepare to sleep.

"You don't snore do you?” And this time Kyuhyun doesn't even see it coming, that is until the pillow hits him right in the face.

*** ***

The next morning they have their breakfast at the dorm’s shared kitchen. The place is neat and small but with a cozy atmosphere, to the young aspiring singer it feels just like home. He grabs a mug from one of the shelves fills it with milk and adds a spoon of sugar before quickly heating it inside the microwave. He grabs some bread and cheese while he's waiting for his warm milk to be ready.

Sungmin in his turn simply adds mild to a bowl of cereals and sits on one of the many empty chairs, his eyes almost closing when a full spoon goes inside his mouth. Kyuhyun pulls a chair and sits by him, his eyes scanning one of the old newspapers left over the table.

"Hyukkie come on…you said we would try it out this year.” A loud voice says from the entrance and seconds after two boys join them in the kitchen. It’s the first students Kyuhyun sees from the Art Department and of course he’s intrigued by them.

The first boy coming in is simply dressed in some baggy white shorts and black sleeveless shirt, his hair neatly composed with brown bangs falling over the right side of his face. Kyuhyun thinks he has really nice features, not too girly but also not too manly.

The second one is two centimeters shorter but unlike the first boy with his lean and skinny body, this one seems more buffed but still handsome. He wears jeans, red t-shirt and a black baseball cap with the initials NY.

"Hae buzz off I’m still sleeping.” The first guy says and grabs a cup with only black coffee. He sits opposite Kyuhyun and doesn’t even notice the other two boys at his front. In fact he seems so tired that he simply lets his head fall over the left arm and closes his eyes.

"Why don’t you want to turn in our application? We could so beat those two, you know that!” The other insists and sits by his friend's side staring wide eyed at him. The ‘Hyukkie’ guy stays silent and Kyuhyun’s mouth opens in astonishment when the shorter one starts petting the brown hair, his head mimicking the other boy's action and their faces only inches away from touching…with their lips.

Should he look away and pretend there’s not a NC-17 rated movie going on in front of his eyes? He realizes Sungmin left the table and is washing his bowl leaving him completely alone in hostile environment, traitor! When he glances back at the boys the one that seems slightly older is staring back at him. And it’s not a very nice stare; in fact he seems to be trying to kill Kyuhyun with it.

"What?” He finds himself saying in irritation.

"You’re ugly. I’m suddenly without appetite, let’s go Donghae.” And they leave the table, the Donghae guy giving him a sheepish smile before following the other outside.

"What the hell?” Kyuhyun asks in confusion.

"That was Lee Hyukjae,” Sungmin says sitting by his side again. “He’s my age and he’s majoring in dance. The other one was Lee Donghae also twenty two and also majoring in dance. You better stay away from them, they're trouble.”

"What are you talking about, I didn’t do anything and besides he’s the one acting like a jerk to begin with.”

"Seriously Kyu, they’re no good just forget about it and try to avoid being caught on their radar from now on.” The singer puffs out his cheeks in annoyance, there’s no way he’s going to let that one pass just like that…no way.

"Let’s go, I want to see the schedule for my first classes.” He says in an angry voice but already plotting his soon to be revenge.

Enchanted Forest

2012-06-12T23:10:29Z

Author: Slarya
Pairing: Blohyuk
Genre/Rating: Angst/PG-13
Words: 622
Warning: Character's death!

Summary: Tablo remembers his lost love...

A/N: No idea where this came from, I was listening to some old EH songs and a friend sent me some pictures that inspired this small drabble...it's nothing special really just my craving for some sad/dark blohyuk :)

Enchanted Forest

I remember the times when we were happy.

Little memories from our life together, a life that was too short but even so, full of precious moments that will forever stay craved in my heart.

Do you also remember how we used to laugh together?

I look at this room once full of joy and smiles…it’s so quiet now. I never realized how much your simple presence brightened my day, your bright smile used to be my favorite kind of personal energy, in a strange way you boosted me up.

Tell me Hyukjae are you happy? Did you find the peace you longed for?

There’s still a part of me that refuses to believe, that refuses to let go. My heart still fights against reality it’s something I can’t stop, something I won’t stop. When these feelings become too strong for me to bear I simply scream…I scream until my voice runs out, until my throat starts bleeding, until tears stop falling.

Your favorite umbrella is still opened on the rooftop, near our secret bird-nest. It’s exactly on the same place where you left it even though the rain has stopped falling. Those little fellows are strong and they’re finally starting to give their first baby steps, spreading their wings once in a while.

Has it really been three months since I last saw you?

Work has been chaotic these days, I hardly sleep and I’m doing what you hate most; eating junk food, drinking loads of coffee and breathing the finest tobacco out there. Not healthy, I’m the first one to admit it, but I’m eager to leave this world. I’m not going to lie about it, I want to end this suffering but unlike you I’m a coward and guts fail me when I think about ending this nightmare sooner than God’s wish.

Is God angry at you?

You used to joke around pretending you didn’t care whether or not heaven existed, but deep down inside I knew you were actually scared of punishment. Don’t worry my love. You’re the purest of Angels, God must be happy to finally have you by his side.

Junsu comes here almost every week, he really misses you and he doesn’t understand why you did it. Sometimes I catch him glancing in my direction; his eyes are judgmental and angry. I don’t blame him, I did nothing to keep you here by my side, I didn’t protect you when you were fragile and scared, I failed. This is my punishment and I gladly take it.

Do you remember our promise?

Lately, during the few hours I sleep, I dream with that day. I clearly see your flushed face as the ring presses around your finger, I hear the words you speak, your promise of forever and I still believe in it. There are trees surrounding us keeping the world at bay, protecting us with its beautiful green garden, an endless and wild one.

We're free, we're happy...we're one.

I still have the candles from that day, from our first birthday. I light them once in a while only to remember our vows, to keep them close to my heart.

That enchanted forest…

…that’s the place where I can hear the sound of your heartbeat against mine, the echo of your words gently spreading through air, the place where I can feel the touch of your silky hair on my shoulder and the soft breeze of our promise linking our souls…wherever you go I’ll be just one step behind.

So wait for me Hyukjae, it won’t take long for us to finally have our happy ending.

*** ***

The inspiration...

Insomnia - Part 2

2012-06-11T22:20:16Z

Author: Slarya
Pairing: EunChun, Yoosu
Genre/Rating: Angst/Romance, PG-13
Words: 1,136

Summary: Yoochun is having a hard time sleeping and starts to think Eunhyuk may be the cause behind it.

A/N: So I know this has been so so long since I last updated anything but on my defence my life has been like a roller-coaster lately! I've a new job that requires me to be constantly travelling between Portugal and the UK and I don't really have much time or inspiration to dedicate myself to my writing (but I do miss it!!!). If anyone is still reading this I hope you have a good time with this small update, I know it's pretty short but I thought better something short than nothing at all , right? ;)

A/N (2): Thank you so much for the lovely reviews on last chapter, I'm sorry again for not getting back at you and thank you personally but I'll promise I'll try harder this time to answear each and every single one! xoxo

Insomnia

The warm air of the summer night seemed to suffocate him. Yoochun opened the door of his black Audi R8 and stepped inside closing it with a little more strength than necessary. His hands grabbed the wheel tightly, he was trembling. Trembling in rage, in fury...in desire.

He had been so sure he could stay away, that he could control himself and do the right thing. Now everything was lost. If it hadn't been for Eunhyuk's push he would have taken the other man right there and then. How could this be happening? He loved Junsu...I love him!

There was still a faint light over dorm number eleven; Micky breathed in and out few times controlling his heartbeat and calming his hormones. Fingers pressed softly against lips, the memory still fresh in his mind...he shook his head erasing all thoughts of the previous half-hour, started the engine and drove back home, back to Junsu.

***

Junsu heard the door quietly opening and closing. He pretended to be sleeping and pulled the blanket closer to his neck. Yoochun moved around the room in the darkness probably changing clothes by the sound of a jacket falling on the floor. It took some minutes but eventually the older man got inside bed and Junsu felt strong arms close around his waist and pull him a little closer.

"You spoke with Hyukkie?”

“Yeah.”

“And?” A brief moment of silence, maybe a hesitation before a reply came.

“We're ok.”

“Are you sure? You know you're not the best person in the world when it comes to say sorry.” Junsu turned around to face his boyfriend, he could see the other had his eyes closed and a deep frown touched his forehead. “And Hyukkie is...he's a crybaby you know that. He likes to be friends with everyone and he gets really stressed if people are mad at him, especially if for no reason.”

“Geez Junsu, give it a rest! I drove across town at one on the morning to speak to your best friend because you practically made me do it...I said sorry and that's enough for me.” Yoochun pulled away from Junsu's hands. “If he's that sensitive it's not my problem...maybe he needs to grow up and you need to stop acting like you're his mother.”

The singer was stunned when Yoochun turned around with his back now facing him, yes he knew he was pushing a little but he was worried about Hyukjae, he knew how his best friend was and he honestly didn't want to see him get hurt.

“I just want my boyfriend and best friend to like each other, is it really that bad for me to wish that?” Micky tensed at the sound of the spoken words.

“I'm tired Junnie...let's just sleep ok? We'll talk in the morning.” Junsu turned to face the wall and said nothing. He glanced at this phone for brief seconds but decided it would really be better to sleep and think about it the next day.

***

A bottle of water danced in front of his brown eyes trying to get his attention. Hyukjae glanced up to see Donghae smiling and accepted the offer. His friend sat on floor next to him with a towel around his neck.

“So...what's going on?” Hyukjae's answer was a simple brush of shoulders, his fingers kept playing with the bottle. “You wanna talk about it?”

“Not really.”

“Ok! Then get up,” The younger dancer stood up and smiled at his friend. “I'm hungry and I'm not in the mood to eat alone.”

After a shower and a change of clothes both boys decided to go eat outside. None was eager to return to the dorms and the night was quite pleasant for a walk. They talked all the way to the restaurant about the new album and choreography for their title song, it was only when they were getting ready to order their food that Eunhyuk realized two familiar men walking in their direction.

Junsu smiled brighter than the sun while taking his shades off and Donghae corresponded to the smile with one of his own. None seemed to notice the unpleasant atmosphere that rose the moment Micky sat on the other side of the table, directly facing the dancer.

“Oh you also come eat here?” Donghae asked and the instant he spoke Eunhyuk knew this had been planned.

It was just his luck that Yoochun was sitting right in front of him, he couldn't even get the courage to look up and see just how mad the other man was...if he could at least defend himself and tell him he knew nothing about this meeting, but of course he wouldn't believe him.

“You're ok?” The other Super Junior member asked drawing unwanted attention to his person, seriously this was the last time he would come out to eat with Donghae.

“I'm fine, just tired.”

“Ah how's the new song coming? You already started practicing the dance?”

“Yeah and you have to see it Junsu, its awesome and...”

The voices were lost the moment Eunhyuk glanced up for a second and his eyes met dark orbs staring hard at him. He gulped nervously but he couldn't take his eyes off of the man sitting across from him. His hands were starting to shake so he moved them below the table, hiding from the observant gaze.

It was as if Yoochun could undress him with one simple look. He would look at him and see the bare, naked truth the dancer was trying so hard to hide. Eunhyuk was praying for a miracle something that could save him from the embarrassment and humiliation of being found out.

“You really look like a monkey with that hair.” Junsu teased and Eunhyuk knew this was just his best friend being stupid and playful but today...today sitting at that table and with that person still looking at him and earing those words it felt as if he really was an ugly duckling, incapable of being even for an instant anything more than that awkward high school kid who couldn't even ask the girl he liked out on a date without stuttering. “Hyukkie...I-I'm sorry, I was just kidding.” Junsu suddenly said in a worried tone and the dancer realized there were few tears escaping his control. Great! Just great.

“Ah...ahahahahaha.” He laughed with a hand cleaning his face. “I'm ok, I'm gonna go to the bathroom.” And without waiting for any other word he moved quickly away from his friends.

The door to the tiny bathroom opened just as he was finished washing his face. Through the mirror he saw Yoochun staring at him, back against the door and hands deep down in the pockets of the tight black jeans.

“What?” Came the question in a broken voice.

“Are you ok?”

“Superb!” He sarcastically said smirking to the mirror and watching with interest as Yoochun's features went from boredom to a deep frown. A vein on his white neck caught his attention and Eunhyuk felt a little like a perv for noticing such details in the other man. He had a boyfriend for god's sake. “I thought you didn't want me near you.”

“I don't.”

“Aren't you kind of breaking your own rules then?” The older man turned to face the tenor and they stared hard at each other. After what seemed ages Eunhyuk sighed and walked until he was facing Micky. “Move, I wanna go finish my food and get back to the dorms.”

Yoochun didn't move, he also didn't say anything and simply stayed looking at Eunhyuk as if the boy had two heads above his neck.

“Jesus Christ Park Yoochun! Move or I'll-”

The words stopped in his throat. Yoochun's mouth was inches away from his own, he could smell the scent of the kimichi and soju, he could see the tired lines marking the corners of Yoochun's beautiful eyes. He stopped breathing when fingers slowly rose and caught a lock of his golden hair.

“It looks good on you,” The husky voice said before full lips kissed it. “It's shiny, innocent and angelic like you.”

“What?” Eunhyuk was too stunned to even start to understand what was happening. Here he was inside a smelly bathroom with Park Yoochun kissing his hair and telling him he was...what exactly? What did those words mean?

“I'm a bastard you know. Saying the things I said last time and still...here you have me, wanting nothing more than to forget who we are...wanting to simply to be allowed to touch you and speak to you.”

“Yoochun this is wrong, we can't.”

“I know!”

“Junsu...”

“I KNOW!” The sudden scream scared him and Eunhyuk took a step back but before he was too far away Yoochun pulled him back, holding his waist and letting his head fall between his shoulder and neck. “Every time I'm around you I lose myself, I act like I'm a complete stranger...I don't know myself anymore, I can't be trusted if we're in the same room.” Tears fell onto his skin, Eunhyuk's body relaxed and he slowly hugged the man crying over his shoulder. It was his first time to held Yoochun inside his arms...

“I'm sorry.”

“You always do that.” Yoochun said pulling away and cleaning his tears. “Saying sorry for things that aren't your fault...stop doing that. It only makes me want to protect you even more.”

“Sorry.” The dancer bit on his lip when he saw the annoyed look on the other's eyes. “What do we do now?”

“I don't want to hurt Junsu.”

“Me neither.” Silence fell over the bathroom. Eunhyuk glanced at his yellow sneakers the lump on his heart growing at each second that passed.

“So we stop.” Eunhyuk nodded, eyes still glued to the floor. “This ends here, in this instant. We won't talk about it ever and we'll act like nothing ever happened.”

“Ok.”

“Ok,” Yoochun mimicked, maybe trying to imprint the decision in his own mind. “I'll go now, they're probably worrying about us by now.”

“Ye-Yeah, I'll be out in a second.” And without another word he was left alone. He didn't cry, how could he? This was nothing compared to the thought of losing Junsu's friendship, that would be ten times worse than what he was losing right now because he had never had Yoochun in first place.

“You'll be fine Lee Hyukjae, you'll be just fine.”

Insomnia

2012-01-01T23:36:54Z

Author Slarya
Pairing: EunChun, Yoosu
Genre/Rating: Angst/Romance, PG-13
Words: 2,245

Summary: Yoochun is having a hard time sleeping and starts to think Eunhyuk may be the cause behind it.

A/N: Just something I wrote on the last couple of days because I was missing EunChun - my guilty pleasure :D - still have to see if I'll write part II for it or not :))
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!

Insomnia

The red numbers in the clock marked the first early hours of a new day. The man felt a headache coming on its way, possibly results of another sleepless night. His eyes found their way down, searching through the darkness of the room, trying to catch a glimpse of the other sleeping male.

Eunhyuk had been staying at his room for the last couple of days, after Junsu assured Micky it would only be for a few hours. The tenor should have known better when those two gathered it was worse than girls going to the bathroom.

He had thought of changing rooms, he could always move in with Jaejoong. His friend had in fact suggested the exact same thing the first night Eunhyuk had popped up at their door. But he had refused, Junsu was his boyfriend after all; they shared the same room, they shared the same bed…why would he let another guy sleep alone with his boyfriend?

No, if Eunhyuk wanted to stay in then he would have to adapt to their environment, to their way of doing things. That had been his decision, a decision that had turned around and backfired at him.

The dancer moved restlessly on the floor, his legs pushing the blanket away and his hands grabbing the pillow tightly below his head. A frown touched his face for few seconds before he turned the other way around, hiding his sleeping expression from the tenor’s eyes.

Yoochun puffed the air through his cheeks annoyed with his insomnia; he reached for Junsu’s soft body and snuggled closer to him, one arm around the boy’s waist and his head resting against the back. Junsu’s hair smelled of lemon and pine apples a combination he loved, it brought peace to his mind.

He could still hear Eunhyuk breathing even though they were too far away from each other; the boy had been attacked by the flu the day before and the little snores reminded him of a cat purring. He smiled at the thought, pushed his body even closer to Junsu closed his eyes and waited for the morning to come.

***

Since the issue over their contracts with SM started, Yoochun, Junsu and Jaejoong had decided to rent an apartment. It was located in Seoul so they could be closer to their friends and family. Even though Yunho and Changmin had different opinions on the subject they were still friends, they still cared for each other even thought it was hard to express it nowadays.

Yoochun opened his eyes, the morning sun washing over his features and warming his skin. The room was quiet, Junsu was up already and there was also no sign of his best friend. He stretched his arms above head and pulled the bed sheets away. Dressing a sweatshirt over his naked torso he opened the bedroom’s door and walked to the kitchen, he could hear Junsu’s signature laugh and smell Jaejoong’s perfect food.

“Morning” He called, briefly kissing Junsu’s cheek before joining the other two at the kitchen’s counter.

“Morning, how did you sleep tonight?” Jaejoong asked already concerned with the tired look on the youngster’s face.

“Insomnia again,” Micky stole a bite from Junsu’s toast with a small smirk. “But I slept at least two hours.”

“Shouldn’t you go see a doctor and run some tests to see if everything is alright?”

Eunhyuk’s voice called from behind them startling the tenor. The boy had clearly came from the bathroom. Water was dripping from his new disheveled golden hair, running through his neck’s skin before disappearing under a loose white shirt. The trade mark gummy smile was as always attached to his lips; the boy seemed to be only himself when he was smiling.

“I told him that already but he never listens to me.” Junsu complained immediately pointing to a chair next to his boyfriend. Eunhyuk took the invitation and sat almost too eagerly, he loved Jaejoong’s homemade food. No one seemed to notice how uncomfortable Yoochun suddenly was.

The man was too much aware of Hyukjae’s looks, the way his body was even more gracious now, more manly…more attractive. He stole a glance to his left to check on Eunhyuk but quickly pretended to eat when he got caught in the act by Jaejoong.

He was seriously getting freaked out with all this and he couldn’t place a finger on why he was acting all shy around the dancer. He knew Eunhyuk for so long now; he had always been a close person to Junsu and the first guy to know about their secret relationship, besides Hero. But why did he feel so good and at the same time so bad for having the other boy around these days? That, he didn’t know and was too much afraid to actually search for an answer.

“Chunnie can help you with that.”

“Hum…what?” So lost in thought Micky hadn’t noticed there was a conversation going on until his name popped up.

“Hyukkie wants to check some english lyrics for a song he's composing...well you could help, right?”

“No!” Silence fell over the table. Everyone stared dumbfounded at him, Junsu with his chopsticks still in middle air and his mouth slightly opened, Jaejoong rising an eyebrow in question and Eunhyuk...Yoochun risked looking at the dancer and his stomach felt sick at what he saw.

Brown eyes quickly looked back at their food and the boy seemed to shrink on the chair; the tenor wanted to kick himself he had no idea why he had voiced out his first thoughts on the matter, especially in that tone and manner.

“Why not?” Asked Junsu and Yoochun could see he was starting to get a little mad at him.

“It's ok...I can ask Henry when he's back in Korea.” Junsu was about to reply but his friend cut him off before he even had the chance. “It's no big deal, really.”

The rest of the breakfast passed by quickly with Eunhyuk thanking for his meal and leaving, his best-friend followed right behind but not before muttering 'stupid' to his boyfriend. Jae was washing the dishes without uttering a word...Micky knew he had a lot to say though and soon enough was proved right.

“What happened? Did Eunhyuk do something to you?” He asked while cleaning the green tablecloth.

“What are you talking about?”

“Yoochun come on, you practically kicked the guy out of the room.”

“Sorry if I hurt his feelings I didn't mean too...I'm just stressed over my shedules and I don't have time to deal with this.” Well at least his excuse sounded persuasive even to his own ears.

“Say sorry to him next time then, it really was tactless of your part.”

“Yeah don't worry hyung, I will.”

***

That night Eunhyuk didn't sleep at their home. Junsu said he had lots of work with the upcoming album and had to stay at the dorms but Micky knew better. He wanted to pretend he didn't care...damn he actually wanted to not care but it was easier said than done.

Yoochun glanced at the floor where Eunhyuk's sleeping blankets would usually stay if he slept there, today the floor was empty. He had no idea how to feel about this new upcoming and his boyfriend wasn't helping at all. Junsu was sulking grabbed to his laptop and ignoring the other all day long, it was annoying to say the least.

“Let's watch a movie?” He said, kind of asked tentatively receiving silence in return. He sighed exasperated while pulling the t-shirt over his head. “Junsu I'm sorry ok.”

“You should say that to Hyukkie not me.”

“Fine I'll tell him tomorrow.”

“You should say it now.” Jesus Christ why was his boyfriend such a pain in the ass sometimes.

“Junnie I'll speak to him tomorrow, it's almost one in the morning.”

“Exactly, Hyukkie is almost home from Sukira...go there and say sorry.”

“Are you really saying for me to get dress again, drive to the other side of the town at one in the morning just to apologize? Seriously Su, are you listening to yourself?”

“Look,” Junsu pushed the laptop out of his lap and stared hard at his boyfriend. “Hyukjae was really feeling bad thinking he had done something wrong to you. I told him you were just stressed but he said you were acting weird around him lately...so whatever it is that is going on fix it, cause I'm not going to stand and watch you act like an ass to my best-of-the-best-friend, got it?”

Yoochun said nothing; he simply dressed up again grabbed his car keys and moved to the bedroom's door. His mind was having mixed feelings about the entire situation by the time his hand touched the wooden knob, he paused and murmured without glancing at the person sitting on the bed.

“Whatever happens today it's your fault...you're triggering this mess.”

***

The van's door closed loudly and both Eeteuk and Eunhyuk bid their goodnights to their manager and driver. They waved at some of their fans waiting in the street and quickly went inside the secured perimeter of the building.

Eunhyuk left his hyung inside the elevator and going up to the 12^th floor. His feet seemed so heavy today, it was as if his body had been drained out of its usually energy. His hand went inside his backpack to look for the keys but suddenly stopped when he saw someone sitting at the door. The said person got up the moment he saw him coming out of the elevator and Eunhyuk was surprised and perhaps a little happy.

“Yoochun?” The other looked uncomfortable with his hands inside his pockets and a black beanie covering his head and hair.

“Hey!” They looked at one another not saying anything and just staring. Finally the tenor broke the silence. “Can we talk? Somewhere else cause I'm not sure one of your fans won't pop up out of nowhere.” It was supposed to be a joke but neither was in the mood to actually laugh. Eunhyuk walked past the slightly younger man opening the dorm's door and signaled the other to follow with a soft movement of the head.

They went inside his bedroom and the dancer was slightly surprised when he heard Micky closing the door on his back. To say he wasn't nervous would be a lie. He had no idea why he was suddenly feeling caged like a butterfly caught in the wrong net. Yoochun was standing there, on the other side of the division, with his back against the door and a strange glint in his eyes.

“So what...”

“I really love Su!” Micky said with a hint of irritation in his low voice. “He's my soul mate, I'm sure of it. Ever since I first laid eyes on him...I never once looked at another person, never once felt the need to kiss or hug another...he's all I need.”

“I-I know Yoochun.”

“You don't!” The tenor cut him, his gaze dangerous even murderous. Hyukjae stepped back when he saw the man walking towards him...his back hit the wall 'shit' was all he thought and felt extremily dumb for being a afraid of the other. “You don't know nothing...you freaking spend your days near him, near us and you just don't disappear.”

“I'm sorry I didn't realize I was invading your privacy, I never meant to...”

“To what? Be around us twenty four/seven? Because I must tell you, you're doing a pretty good job sticking to us like freaking glue!” Hyukjae felt a sting in his eyes and quickly glanced down so the other wouldn't see the pain those words inflicted on him.

Yes, he knew he was spending lots of time with Junsu and the other two. He missed them and he also wanted to be there for them, to support and take care of them. It wasn't just because he saw Junsu as his brother...he couldn't explain it but he felt good near Jaejoong and especially near Yoochun. Well now he was sure it wasn't reciprocate and honestly...it hurt.

“Don't cry.”

“What?” Eunhyuk looked up to see Yoochun standing so close he could see himself reflected in the tenor's brown eyes.

“Don't fucking cry because of me...” He felt fingers touching his watery face and seconds after hands closing around his neck pulling slowly, so slowly in fact that he could have pushed the other away if he had wanted to. He found out he didn't. “Damn you!”

And their open mouths met for the first time. Their kiss was nothing like those fairytailes Eunhyuk had heard about, it was a mixture of fire and ice with their desires colliding and crashing and it felt like the earth would open below their feet to swallow them if they dared to take another step...it was so intense with their tongues enveloping one another, their lips tasting each other's unique flavor...

'Junsu'

Eunhyuk pushed Micky away and the other stumbled back ungracefully and a little stunned. The surprised look was replaced by one of complete anger and disgust; the dancer's heart broke into a million of pieces at Yoochun's expression.

“This will never happen again. I shouldn't have come here in first place.” He walked to the door but stood still before opening it. “Stay away from us...whatever you do just fucking stay away!”

And he was gone leaving Hyukjae to slide against the wall and sit on the cold floor, arms hugging his knees and tears falling harder than never.

Can You Hear My Heartbeat...Part V

2011-11-01T23:41:59Z

Author: Slarya
Pairing: KyuHyuk
Genre/Rating: Angst/Romance, PG-13
Words: 2,701

Summary: Kyuhyun thought this was the most stupid thing he had ever done in his life...
A/N: Again I'm so sorry for taking ages to upload my fics...in my defense this was really a hard chapter to write because I felt my inspiration left me lol so I'm not that proud of this chapter but I think it was needed to be written this way so I could move on with the story on the next part...

The dorm was quiet when Eunhyuk got in. Taking his shoes off he moved silently across the living room and went inside his room. He turned on the light of the small lamp near bed and proceeded to remove his wet clothes.

He was angry, annoyed, revolted...everything had been ok until Kyuhyun decided to pry into his private life. His hands stopped in the middle of taking his shirt off and brown orbs found another similar pair of eyes staring back at him from the inside of the mirror; his reflection seemed to mock him back as a sudden thought crossed his mind: of course Kyuhyun had pried into his life they were together after all, they were supposed to share that kind of stuff, they were supposed to speak about those things...but they didn't speak because Eunhyuk had abandoned him in the middle of an empty street, all alone...sighing he put on a pair of black briefs and quickly hided himself inside the covers.

He stared at the ceiling with arms below his head; it was so hard to pretend he didn't want to touch Kyuhyun in front of the others, so hard to keep quiet about his feelings...he was a mess right now.
Donghae, his best friend was also in love with their maknae and even if Eunhyuk cared about him and felt the need to protect him there was still a part of his heart that wanted nothing more than to kick the other dancer and tell him to stay away.

Those negative feelings, those horrible desires made him feel terrible, like a monster, a low life that deserved to be all alone for the rest of his life.

“Shit! Why does it have to be him Hae?” He wouldn't sleep at all this night but still he turned the light off and closed his eyes, his ears alert for any kind of sound announcing his boyfriend had returned.

******

Kyuhyun was sitting at the corner of the small coffee shop. Even though it was almost four in the morning and the store seemed to be empty it was still uncomfortable imagining a fan or reporter finding him there at that time of the night...or was it morning?

Hands closed around a cup of hot chocolate; he blew to cold it a little before taking the sweet liquid into his mouth. It was warm and the feeling spread over his whole body calming him a little.

The door chimed when someone got inside; a tall man stopped briefly over the counter asking for his drink and after he was done made his way to Kyuhyun's table. The idol removed his red scarf and long coat, neatly folding and leaving it over a spare chair.

“Thanks for coming.”

“Don't mention.” Changmin's coffee came and he bowed in thanks to the old lady, smiling briefly. “So what's up?” Leave it to Changmin to be subtle, obviously. Eyes searched the room and after a quick check landed on his best-friend's face. His hands rubbed over and over against one another delaying the moment of truth. “Kyuhyun what's going on?

“I had my first fight with my boyfriend.” The words came out so fast and were whispered so lowly even he had a hard time hearing them.

“What, you're dating? How come I didn't know about...”Changmin's eyes seemed to be about to pop out at that moment, it was actually pretty funny but Kyuhyun wasn't in the mood to enjoy it at one hundred per cent like it deserved to be enjoyed, recorded and posterior made fun of. “Did you say what I think you said?”

“It's not a big deal...”

“Are you kidding me?? It's bad enough if the company finds out you're dating, what do you think it will happen if they know it's a guy?” This was clearly a bad idea; Kyuhyun should have kept his mouth shut and live with it. He was such a fool.

“I think we should get going.” He was about to reach for his coat when he felt soft fingers close around his wrist. Changmin was looking directly at him and Kyuhyun felt a sudden rush of gratitude for what he saw in those eyes.

“Sit, please.” And he did, his wrist being released in the process. “I'm sorry Kyuhyunnie I was caught unprepared for this type of news; you really surprised me with that one.

“It's ok...I'm sorry I dropped this bomb on you...but I had no one else to talk too.”

“I'm glad you came to me.” And it was true, the singer could see in those eyes the warmth and compassion; his friend gave him a big and reassuring smile. “So is it someone I know?”

“Yeah.” Kyuhyun revealed. “It's Hyukjae.”

“Hyukjae?” Laugh erupted from Changmin's throat; a high pitched sound that made Kyuhyun glare at the other. “Seriously? I mean, I do see why you chose him but still...he accepted you?”

“There's nothing wrong with me. Why wouldn't he accept me?”

“Well because you are always teasing him and making fun of him...oh right and hitting him.”

“I don't...that's just...it's because I like him ok? I just did that stuff because I wanted his attention, I wanted him to look at me and see me and like me back!” And he saw triumph on Changmin's face, he had been tricked.

“I just wanted to hear you say it, it was too much fun to just let it pass.”

“I'm glad I can be your jester.” He muttered unhappily. His friend smirked back at him before drinking a sip of his coffee. “It never felt quite real you know, not until tonight. After the fight I was kind of hit back with the reality of our actions...we are dating and if it doesn't work out it will affect the others, it could destroy everything we worked so hard over the last years.”

“You win some and you lose some, right Kyuhyunnie?” The taller of the two said, a distant look briefly showing on his face. “If you like him for real, if you are sure this is what you want, what you need then don't turn your back on it.”

“Yeah, easier said than done. Hyukjae just left me alone in the middle of the street and didn't care to look back once and see if I was ok...that made me feel like shit.” Damn it his tears were falling now, tears he had tried so hard to suppress. “It made me think I'm not that important to him and that he can turn his back on me whenever he wants.”

He knew there was nothing Changmin could say to make him feel better but he just wanted to say it out loud, he wanted to open his heart to someone, someone that cared enough to sit with him at four in the morning listening to his childish cries.

“Look, I can't tell you what to do or what to feel because first I'm not you, second I'm not Hyukjae and third I don't know what is really going on between you two. But I do know this,” Hands searched inside a pocket and Changmin pulled out his phone. “He really cares about you too.”

Kyuhyun took hold of the mobile phone in front of him. A message was showing on the touchscreen and his eyes narrowed a little before fully opening in surprise.

From: Hyukjae-hyung aka Anchovy King

'Changmin-shi, this may sound weird but if Kyuhyun calls can you let me know? He was upset last time I saw him and he still hasn't returned to the dorm...thanks and sorry to bother.'

“He sent this to you?”

“Yes, half an hour before I got here. At the time I thought you had a fight since you’re always bugging him.” His friend gave him a weird look but Changmin didn’t seem to care much, instead he took another sip of his coffee.

“He should have called me instead of texting you.” There was annoyance in his voice but inside he felt really happy and relieved to see Eunhyuk worried about him, at least a little. A smile reached his lips, his heart wasn't beating so unsteadily anymore and right now he was starting to feel less anxious...he wanted to go home...he wanted to go back to Eunhyuk and set things right once and for all.

“Kyuhyunnie,” Their eyes met and Changmin smirked, the right corner of his lips twitching in the process. “If you let him go can I confess to him? I always had a thing for his dorky side, you know!”

“Sure you can, if you wanna die young.” The singer replied mimicking the smirk of his best friend before grabbing his coat and wallet to walk back home.

******

The bedroom was a little cold; there was a window opened and the wind blew inside softly. The curtains were moving in a steady rhythm –back and forth- touching for brief seconds before returning to their previous spot.

They reminded the young dancer of a couple making love, caressing gently with a little bit of shyness. His eyes glanced at the red numbers of the clock and he sighed at the time. Almost six in the morning and still no sign of Kyuhyun. His only hope was for a call or message from Changmin with news but even that was proving to be fruitless.

Frustrated and angry at himself he got up and went outside the room. Fingers found the switch in the wall and turned the light on. His hands grabbed the tap turning it to the right side; instantly water came out rushing and Eunhyuk lost no time immersing his face underneath the cold liquid.

It refreshed and calmed his nervous body as much as it made him cold and left him trembling. There was a long time before he closed the water and grabbed a towel to dry his face and hair, he gasped when he saw his reflection.

Eye bangs were starting to form underneath his eyes, dark and big circles that would be hard to disguise even with make-up. But that wasn't what left him standing still like a man with a gun pointed at his head...

Fingers touched the face in the mirror. “Is that really me?” Who else could it be? It was him but at the same time it wasn't. A man was standing in the middle of a bathroom with wet hair and skinny body. Eyes sparkling and on the verge of crying, losing his mind and realizing, perhaps too late, how much a certain singer truly meant to him.

A dark spot on his white neck called his attention, 'Kyuhyun' he thought while touching that special mark and remembering the night it was left there, marking...demanding the world to acknowledge who he belonged to.

“You're so stupid Lee Hyukjae...so, so stupid.”

The kitchen was cold; his bare feet were screaming for socks but he ignored them and simply pulled a chair to sit. He was so tired, so sleepy, so exhausted but Kyuhyun wasn't home and it was so late...

“Where did you go you idiot?” The question was left unanswered. Eunhyuk dropped his head over the table with eyes fixed on the clock in the wall. He must have closed them and slept for a while because he suddenly woke up when his mind registered the sound of the front door closing.

He stood up abruptly and walked into the foyer to find Kyuhyun taking his shoes off. The maknae glanced up and was as much surprised as him. They stared at each other trying to read minds and decipher untold feelings and even though Eunhyuk had wanted nothing more than to ask forgiveness and acknowledge his mistake it was the other man who spoke first.

“That fight...it was really stupid wasn't it?” There was a slight smirk over Kyuhyun's red lips. Eunhyuk noticed for the first time the small trembling.

“You're freezing.”

“Yeah, well I walked back home.” Kyuhyun took a step back surprised when the dancer suddenly walked up to him.

“I'm sorry...I never meant to say what I said and I shouldn't have left you alone...I” Eunhyuk bit on his lip, eyes glancing at the floor. “I'm a mess, I like you so much but the more I like you the more I get scared and I know this doesn't excuse my actions but...”

Kyuhyun silenced him with a needing mouth and cold hands embracing him beneath his t-shirt. The touch was electrifying wakening every single cell of his body, making him demand and give more. They stumbled over some pair of shoes on the floor but eventually made their way into the living room, never remaining apart from each other’s lips unless breathing was demanded from their lungs.

“You drive me crazy,” Kyuhyun's hands found Eunhyuk's cheeks holding the other still, looking inside his eyes. “And you make me mad when you try to push me away but...I'm sure you'll eventually see what I've seen four years ago.” His cold fingers interlined with the dancer's bony ones. “We're stronger together than if we are apart. If you stay with me there's nothing we can't fight and win...just give yourself a chance to be happy...believe in us Hyukjae.”

And he did, he did with all his heart and soul and even though he couldn't quite put it into words like Kyuhyun had just done he knew, the moment they looked at each other, that the singer could read all in his eyes.

The truth was there, bared of all pretension and fears. At that time Eunhyuk finally understood what he had to do, he couldn't run anymore and if Kyuhyun was with him then they would have to face their first challenge together.

“I need to tell you something.”

******

He stepped inside the dorm taking his shoes off and spacing out in the foyer. He wasn't sure where to go, what to do or whom to speak to...he wasn't even sure if he wanted to speak at all. Without much thought his feet brought him inside his own room, hands opening the door quietly making sure he wouldn’t wake the other sleeping person inside.

The bed was cold; it made him feel even more lonely and afraid. Afraid of tomorrow’s day, afraid of facing the naked truth and its implications. He rolled with the blanket covering his back and head. It was a habit since he was a child, if his whole body was covered then the monsters would go away, they would leave him alone and eventually he would be safe.

Warm liquid spread from his eyes tracing invisible marks on his cheeks; he bit on his lower lip but the broken sound betrayed him leaving his mouth fast and loud. The right hand tried hard to stop it but it was to no avail, he could hear the other Super Junior member moving on his own bed, being awakened by the loud noise.

“Donghae?” Asked a sleepy voice that quickly turned concerned when the other didn't answer and simply cried even harder. “Hae what's wrong?” Eeteuk was about to turn the light on when the other finally spoke.

“No, please don't. I don't want you to see me like this...please hyung.” If there was someone that could be completely trusted in their group than that someone would definitely be Park Jungsu. Donghae knew that and it was only because he knew it that he allowed the other man to snuggle inside his bed.

Arms tighten around his convulsing body, one head pressed against his back and he could feel Eeteuk's breath on his neck. Steady, calm...warm. It reminded him of his older brother and how much he missed home, how much he missed his family and his father...most of all, his father.

He cried and cried and his leader stayed silently beside him sometimes running a hand through his hair, as to assure him he was not alone. And somehow the burning on his heart lifted a little, if not entirely at least for a while...and a while was all it took for his eyes to close and for sleep to claim his body.

Circle of Fear - First Part

2011-09-17T01:03:12Z

Author: Slarya
Pairing: Kyuhyuk
Genre/Rating: AU!Fantasy, Romance/PG-13
Words: 1,870

Summary: In the colds lands of the North stands a small but proud force of men ready to fight and die for their King...

A/N: I suck at summaries so yeah that explains the lousy one for this fic lol this was supposed to be posted on Kyuhyuk's day back on August 13th, the theme for the day was 'Royalty' and this came to mind...I'm not sure about the length but I think it will be devided in 3 parts :)

Circle of Fear

Sounds of horses could be heard approaching the fortress' walls; the soldier at the top of the North tower gave away the signal and instantly more men ran towards the gates to pull them wide open.

Cho Kyuhyun was sitting inside his own quarters, a candle by the table illuminating the papers spread over it, when one of the lower rank soldiers knocked and came in.

“My Lord, the new recruits have arrived.”

The man known as Sir Cho Kyuhyun, second son of Lord Cho Chulsoon, stood to his full height; his hands pulled the heavy wolfskin cloak over the shoulders and he quickly followed the soldier to the court outside.

The wind blow hard outside the room, its sound producing a sad melody as companion for the soldiers guarding the walls. Kyuhyun watched as the horses crossed the gates bringing with them supposedly soldiers...the young lord saw beyond those pretensions.

He had once again a small -very small- group of thieves, rapists and murderers to turn into elite soldiers capable of dying without second thoughts for their King. It was a tough job with little recognition but someone had to do it.

Kyuhyun crossed the yard in a steady pace approaching the group slowly and studying every single one of them thoroughly. Four men stood at his front; the first two were young, no more than seventeen years old, their faces screamed trouble and they seemed pretty full of themselves, Kyuhyun would see them begging for mercy before the end of the night.

The third man had straps of white coloring his hair already showing the advanced age, you could see war marks all over his wrinkled face. Sometimes retired soldiers with no family volunteered to patrol in the North where the nights were cold and lonely and seemed to last forever. At least someone from this laughing group would be of some value to them.

The fourth and last man was at his front now; he seemed to be in his twenties and was a little smaller in height than himself. However he stood proud with his head held high, his gaze penetrating and challenging. Kyuhyun didn't like him...at all.

“You were brought here to fulfill your sentence.” The young Lord started saying in low voice. “I don't care what you've done in your previous life...you died and now you are given a second chance to reborn.”

The two boys glanced at each other smirking and chuckling. Kyuhyun was too fast for them to see it coming; one instant he was giving his welcoming speech, in the next moment he had his sword -SilverOath- in one hand holding it against one of the boys' throat.

“Another sound coming out of your mouths that is not yes my Lord and you'll be left to bleed to death...I assure you it's a very unpleasant sight.” Snow started to fall at the same time that silence filled the yard. “Captain Kim!” An older soldier with a big scar crossing his right eye came forward. “Take this wimps to the higher walls, I think they'll like to spend the night there...make it comfortable.”

“Yes my Lord!”

*** ***

Hyukjae pulled the thin cape closer around his neck. They had been brought to the top of the walls with only the clothes they had been already using...his garment consisted of a pair of brown sheep's wool pants, one white flax shirt that had belonged to one of the man stuck in the dungeons with him and a worn-out used cloak in a shade of dark green, this last one hardly providing any heat.

The snow had started to fall heavily over the last couple of hours. Thanks to the two dummies within his group they were now on guard and for the rest of the night none could leave their place.

If it wasn't for the cold wind and even colder snow he would have been happy to be left alone with his own thoughts, but it wouldn’t be punishment if they enjoyed it, right? Instead he was trembling and freezing and hoping for the sun to rise fast in the horizon to at least provide some heat.

Hyukjae walked forward and backwards to exercise his legs and prevent cramps, he also thought it would be a good idea to move and avoid falling asleep and consequently dying. He remembered long ago the warm nights at the castle, the golden salon filled with music, food and wine and a knight of the kingdom with his white cape and ice sword...it was foolish to still be thinking of those times, they would not return. He knew that perfectly well but it was hard to let go...to forget.

A sudden, strong blast of wind caught the young man by surprise, Hyukjae felt his body shrink at the cold feeling of snow sticking to his clothes and leaving them even wetter than before. He really hoped for the morning sun to come fast or else he would most likely freeze to death.

“You're still awake?” Hyukjae jumped at the sound of a husky voice behind him and turned only to be met eye to eye with his new Lord.

“Sir?”

“I always judge my soldiers by their capacity to suffer without giving in to it. Look...over there.” Hyukjae followed Kyuhyun's gaze and realized his other group members were all asleep, sitting against the walls all curled up in their cloaks. “It's hard to stay awake through cold nights without any food or warm drinks...if your body is not well trained then you'll probably fall asleep and die frozen and you won't even notice it.”

“You...” Hyukjae gulped suddenly feeling extremely ill. “You're going to let them die?” His mighty Lord let out a laugh, the sound was low but pleasant. Hyukjae decided he liked it.

“No, they won't be let off that easily. Their blood belongs to this fortress now, if they must die then it will be defending these walls.” That didn't comfort Hyukjae at all but at least it gave him assurance of living for next couple of weeks – during which they would be trained like pigs ready for slaughter.

The unexpected heat between his hands surprised him and he glanced down only to find them holding a hot mug. “Sir?” He questioned with his eyebrows full high.

“It's just mead but it will keep you warm through the night.” At the still look of surprise on the boy's face he proceeded explaining. “I'm not being particularly nice to you, this is no favor. You deserved it for perseverance, that's all.” And with that the Lord of the Wall stepped down and disappeared into the night leaving once again Hyukjae all alone.

*** ***

For the next couple of weeks they did nothing besides training their sword skills. Hyukjae decided his group was simply stupid, he had thought they would learn their lesson after the first night freezing in the walls but boy was he wrong. The two kids were a mess, they didn't have discipline or honor, no skills with swords or what so ever...they didn't even know the basics to be a good and competent soldier.

The old man was not so bad but he was just so old that his strength was long gone, his vision was just as bad as his hearing...if Hyukjae was left alone with those three to defend the castle he would absolutely die, he would probably take his share with him but in the end death would be his only reward..

Pulling the cotton shirt over his head he trembled; he was inside their quarters trying to clean himself a little since he was starting to smell and honestly he was not used to it. The rest of the guys were poor and they didn't have anything to begin with when they had been brought here but him...he was different. He was used to at least two baths per week in a hot tub with clean water and clean clothes...he missed home, most of all he missed his freedom.

The door opened and with it the cold breeze from the night outside. Kyuhyun stood by the door, his hand still grabbing the knob and his expression a little surprised to find his soldier semi-nude.

“I'm sorry.” There was a faint blush in both men cheeks; Hyukjae pulled the shirt back on and stared at his feet embarrassed. “I just came to tell you, you did great during today's practice.”

“Thank you my Lord.” He said still bowing his head low now daring to look the other directly in the eyes.

Kyuhyun observed the other boy intensively. After almost a month he realized Hyukjae was not like the others. His initial aversion to the man was lost when he saw the effort the other made every single day to correspond to their expectations, to their heavy training and all this without complaining even once.

The mighty young lord admired Hyukjae's inner force to suppress new challenges, his capability was unquestionable. That was in fact what brought him tonight to the boy's chambers, he had a feeling he would need this man tonight and in the next ones.

“There was a disappearance near Lost Village,” He started and Hyukjae looked at him eyes big with surprise. “I sent a scout four nights ago and he still hasn't returned.”

“Isn't that the village that stands near Mount Abyss?” Kyuhyun simply nodded. Mount Abyss was a region further up in the North, it was known for being one of the coldest places in the country...heck Hyukjae was sure there was no place colder than those valleys where the village stayed. “I thought no one lived there anymore.”

“Yes, you and the rest of the kingdom. The village was supposed to be forbidden soil to everyone by direct orders from the King.” He had Hyukjae's full attention now. “It was said that the mountains around the village were inhabited by terrible beasts who came out with the mist to hunt human flesh...we received a crow reporting an incident near the village in the morning and after I sent my man to investigate.”

“What kind of incident? And from whom?” The fireplace in the chambers was slowly burning down, Kyuhyun grabbed another slice of wood and fed the fire with it. His eyes were dark while watching the hot flames dance at his front.

“A merchant and his daughter were coming back home; the letter said there was a terrible snow storm and they lost track of the path...when they realized where they were he immediately sent one of his birds asking for help.” Lord Cho Kyuhyun pulled his wolfskin cloak a little closer to his neck. “I sent one of my best men to bring them here and there is no news from any of them till now.”

Hyukjae felt a chill down his spine and it wasn't from the freezing room. He remembered the stories his nanny always told him when he was little, stories meant to scare and put him to bed quickly but now...now he wasn't so sure they weren't real.

“We'll leave as soon as the sun rises.”

“We?”

“Yes, you're coming with us.”

CAN YOU HEAR MY HEARTBEAT...PART IV

2011-09-12T18:31:15Z

Author: Slarya
Pairing: Kyuhyuk
Genre/Rating: Angst/Romance, PG-13
Words: 3,801

Summary: Kyuhyun thought this was the most stupid thing he had ever done in his life...
A/N: Finally it's here part four!...thanks to all who wait patiently for my slow...very slow updates <33

The sobs finally stopped and Donghae succumbed to a new state of sadness. He was sitting on Eunhyuk’s bed with arms around knees and his body rocking back and forth like a mantra.

The dancer was standing by the desk with his eyes fixed on the younger male. Donghae’s eyes were looking at nothing; they seemed empty and without that special sparkle that was so characteristic of him.

Eunhyuk didn’t know what to do; he had brought his friend to his dorm and room because it was the only place where they could have some privacy without any of the other members prying in. Now however, he wasn’t sure if it had been such a good idea seeing how Donghae kept mourning and silenced despite his attempts to make him speak.

This situation was escalating to new higher level of drama and Eunhyuk was sure he didn’t want to take any part in it. When he first heard Donghae’s confession there were many thoughts running through his mind, the most dangerous of all was the one where he imagined himself opening the game and finally being honest with his best friend.

However, after watching the other cry his heart out and trusting him with his feelings and pain they were causing there was no way he could tell anything of the sort. He knew he had to keep quiet about it and worse, he knew he couldn’t let Kyuhyun know either. That would be breaking the trust Donghae had deposited on him and he wouldn’t do that.

“I always wanted to marry and have kids…I love kids.” Donghae muttered, his voice sounded horse and deeper than usual. “This is the first time I imagine living without children and…I actually wouldn’t mind if it meant I could spend the rest of my life by his side.”

“You would be a great dad.” Eunhyuk forced himself to say with a bitter taste crawling into his mouth…he wanted to throw up.

“Yeah, I would…Hyukjae am I disgusting?” The dancer was caught by surprise with the sudden question.

“Don’t be stupid Hae.”

“Come on Hyuk…I’m a guy and I’m attracted to another guy…from our group. What will the others think? What would he think if he knew?” The singer was again silently crying, hands rubbing his eyes and leaving them red and swallowed. Why was God testing them like this? Eunhyuk sighed, his hands brushed through his hair pulling it back with a little more strength than needed. His scalp hurt after it but he unconsciously thought he kind of deserve it.

“Hae no one will think you’re disgusting and if that happens I’ll beat them to a pulp,” Walking closer to his friend he sat at the edge of the bed with one arm around Donghae’s shoulders. “You’re very brave for talking out loud about it; I wish I was more like you.”

“Why? Hyukkie are you…I mean do you like someone?” Donghae whispered the last words carefully studying the dancer’s reaction. “Another guy?”

“No!” He cried out loud and flushed at the outburst. “I mean, I don’t like anyone but…I’ve had a relationship with another guy once.”

“Junsu?” Eunhyuk slightly pushed away from Donghae feeling suddenly trapped, his emotions were boiling in his blood…he needed to end this conversation. “Don’t be mad…it’s just that you guys were always together when we were trainees and he always had this look when looking at you…like you were the only person in the room.”

Had it been always like that? Was that how they had looked back in the days to the other people around them? Eunhyuk had been convinced for many years that Junsu was the one for him, his soulmate…his other half.

It had been a blow to the ego and to his heart when he realized their love couldn’t resist time and distance. It had been even worse when he understood that their official break-up felt more like relief than sorrow…it took him some time to understand he loved Junsu as a brother and that there was nothing wrong with admitting it.

“I was young back then it’s not the same thing now, not for me and also not for him.” He admitted eyes cast over the green carpet on the floor. “It’s a little cold; I’ll make us some tea to help us sleep.”

Before Donghae could move or say anything he quickly left the bedroom, closing the door softly on his way out. There was a heavy weight on his chest, a massive gravitational force pulling him down, sinking him deeper and deeper and it seemed like he couldn’t do anything to resist it. Moving to the silent kitchen he turned the lights on and started to search for a kettle to put water in.

What would his next move be? He knew he couldn’t tell Kyuhyun about the recent developments that would be breaking many rules and vows of friendship and trust; he also knew he couldn’t possibly explain the situation to Donghae. It would seem like betrayal from his part. So the question remained what now? He was so lost...

“Hey,” Eunhyuk jumped, one hand moving over his heart as he looked behind and saw Kyuhyun at the door. His boyfriend had changed clothes to his black pajama, now looking warmer and comfortable. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s ok.” The dancer quickly turned his back; hands gathered the kettle and filled it with water. He turned the energy on and mentally cursed when he noticed he could do nothing more than wait for the crystalline liquid to boil. He tapped his fingers over the counter nervously, impatiently.

“What’s wrong? Are you ok?” Of course Kyuhyun would notice his mood; the dancer realized a little too late that the maknae's voice was a lot closer than previously.

“I’m fine,” Came as reply and there was anger in his voice. For few seconds he breathed in and out to calm himself. The singer had no fault in all this but it was just so frustrating for him to be here speaking to Kyuhyun and knowing Donghae was crying inside his room because of the same person. “I’m just tired and I wanna go sleep, that’s all.” He hoped this would put an end to their small talk but obviously Kyuhyun wouldn’t make life easy for him.

Arms surrounded Eunhyuk’s waist and his body was pulled against a soft chest. Kyuhyun dropped his chin over his shoulder and nuzzled it like a small kitten looking for comfort and protection. For some time Eunhyuk was lost and aloud the singer to do as he pleased, content in receiving small butterfly kisses below his right ear.

It was only when his lover bit at his neck that he realized what he was doing…worse what if Donghae came in and found them like this? Without thinking about the weirdness of his actions he harshly pushed Kyuhyun away and moved to the other side of the kitchen, pretending to look for mugs.

“What the hell Hyukjae?” He risked glancing at the other and it was a mistake. Kyuhyun was glaring at him confused and annoyed. His left hand was brushing his stomach where Eunhyuk had pushed him.

“I’m sorry.”

“What’s going on? Is something bothering you…have I done something?”

“No! Of course not…it’s just…” Kyuhyun was intensively staring at him and trying to figure out what was going on; he couldn’t lie while those eyes were fixed on him instead he pretended there was something interesting on the floor. “It would leave a mark.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You were biting it, it would leave a mark.”

“So what?” Kyuhyun suddenly asked and there was resentment in is voice. “I think it’s about time we tell the others about us, I’m tired of pretending you’re just like any other member. Hyukjae,” He crossed the distance that separated them and reached for his hyung.” I love you and you love me too, we shouldn’t hide this from the others…they’re our family, they’ll understand.”

“We can’t tell them! Not yet,” Eunhyuk added when his boyfriend was about to protest. “Let’s just concentrate on the promotions for the new album and after we’re done I’ll tell them.”

“But Hyukjae-”

“Please Kyuhyun, just trust me on this, ok?”

It was hard to lie to someone he loved, someone who didn’t deserve this from him but for now it seemed the best he could do for them both and for Donghae.

Lips brushed against lips and a pair of hands was filled with platinum blond hair, pulling the slightly shorter body closer. Kyuhyun slowly ravished Eunhyuk’s mouth drinking enough of it to satisfy his thirst. When he finished he smugly smirked at the look of complete surrender in his hyung’s eyes.

“This better not take long because I don’t think I can keep my hands to myself for much longer.”

“Hmm.” Was the only thing Eunhyuk could say after being swept away from his body with that kiss. His mind was still foggy and blurry when he realized the time. “I have to take the drinks inside, Hae is waiting.”

“Oh right…what did he want? Is he staying for the night?” Kyuhyun said the last part with annoyance; it didn’t make him happy knowing Donghae was all alone in a room with Hyukjae. Things could happen.

“He just wanted to talk and yes he is staying and no you can’t come with me…go sleep.” Standing on his tiptoes –because he was barefoot and therefor no shoe lifts- Eunhyuk sweetly kissed Kyuhyun’s cheek before grabbing the two mugs and move to the entrance. “Good night.”

“Good night.” The other whispered with a pout, crossing his arms and praying for the younger Lee boy to be out of their dorm soon.

*** ***

It was morning. He could feel it by the soft rays of light coming in from the still closed window and from the noise in the dorm. There was water running in one of the bathrooms outside; Kyuhyun pulled the blanket a little higher to cover his head and closed his eyes again, trying hard to grab the sleep that was quickly running away from him.

The door opened slowly and someone stepped inside walking silently and Kyuhyun felt the bed sinking with the weight of someone. He puffed his cheeks out in annoyance, last night he fell asleep really late and he wanted nothing more than to whoever it was that was about to disturb him to go away and vanish, he also cursed the clock that had awoke him five minutes ago.

“Kyuhyunnie,” A hand pulled the blanket down and he felt soft lips kissing his face. It took no more than that gentle brush to make him open his eyes and turn around facing the others smiling face. “Good morning.”

“Morning.” He whispered back, this time not feeling angry at all for being awaken from his sleep. Eunhyuk's forehead pressed against his and they looked inside each other's eyes, they didn't need anything else besides this little private moment to themselves. “I wanna kiss you.”

“Then what are you waiting for?” The dancer asked smirking, one hand moving over Kyuhyun's head brushing the hair out of his eyes.

“Morning breath.” He replied and he could have blushed if it was any other person standing next to him, but it was Eunhyuk his Eunhyuk and beside him he felt he could say anything and do anything that the other would understand and not judge or laugh.

“Oh really? See ya then.” The dancer jumped out of bed and couldn't avoid a smirk when he heard the other whining...it was not every day that people saw Cho Kyuhyun whine.

“Ahhh hyung...come back here...”

“Silly.” Was the only thing Eunhyuk said before he pulled their mouths together for a soft touch. There was no tongue, the kiss was slow and innocent. They simply wanted to be together and enjoy their morning greeting. Eunhyuk pulled away first, kissing the top of Kyuhyun's nose before standing to his feet. “Go wash yourself and let's eat, Teukie hyung will be here in an hour to pick us up.”

“Hmm.” Was his only reply while his eyes hungrily watched the dancer step outside his room. He had forgotten they had Inkigayo to film this morning followed by a tight schedule after, he really was feeling tired and overworked but so were his hyungs and their managers...Kyuhyun knew he had to give his best every day.

Lazily he got out of bed; his feet found the sleepers on the floor and he stood up with arms stretching above his head, releasing the muscles. Going through the closet he picked a pair of black jeans together with a white t-shirt and some underwear. The door opened a second time, this time Sungmin trailing inside with his tooth brush hanging out from his mouth and his hands grabbing a wet towel around his neck.

“Oh you're up,” He said and Kyuhyun was still too sleepy to even make fun of his hyung and the pink tooth brush. “Was going to wake you.”

“Hyukkie hyung did that.”

“Ah...” Sungmin replied with a knowing nod; the singer raised an eyebrow at that but again, his brain wasn't functioning one hundred percent yet for him to join this kind of games.

“Yeah...” He said instead. “I'm going to shower.” And with that he left their room going inside the bathroom and turning the water on.

The steam quickly filled the small room, Kyuhyun felt slightly better when the hot water started hitting his back washing away the sleep and laziness. It was quick; he wanted to be done with it and eat something and maybe have time to chat a little with Eunhyuk without the rest of the members by their side.

A white towel surrounded his waist while another one in his hands cleaned the water away from his damp hair. Yesung chose that exact moment to make himself comfortable in the tiny bathroom, his butt pushing Kyuhyun aside so he could look himself in the mirror to fix his hair.

“Hyung I was here first.” He said with a note of annoyance. The other didn't reply ignoring him completely and taking his time. Kyuhyun puffed his cheeks in annoyance, something he learned to do quite well after being around Sungmin too much. He gathered his clothes and walked outside bumping into someone who quickly helped him collect the clothes from the floor.

“Oh hi...morn-morning.” Donghae said in a tiny voice. His eyes were all red and swollen...had he been crying? Was that why he stayed all night with Eunhyuk?

“Morning hyung...ehm is everything ok?”

“Of course why shouldn’t?” There was an uncomfortable silence between them and Kyuhyun wasn't sure why. Donghae had always been one of his favorite hyungs, except when he was all over Eunhyuk, but besides that detail they had always been good friends. Now even though he couldn’t exactly place his finger on the problem he knew there was a very big pink elephant between the two.

“You stayed with Hyukjae all night and your eyes are all red,” Donghae looked embarrassed. “If you don't want to tell me it's ok but...I'm here if you wanna talk.” It took Donghae few seconds to reply, his beam smile back even if only for few instants.

“Thanks Kyu, I got to go dress.” Kyuhyun stayed watching the other go; there was something fishy about his hyung and he intended to find out what exactly.

*** ***

The music was loudly playing in the stereos; its vibes sent vibrations through the dancer's body making him want to jump in the floor and start moving. Eunhyuk didn't do any of that, instead he pulled even closer to the shadow of the nightclub adjusting his white beaning to cover most of his blond hair.

Damn why did it have to be blond? It was so noticeable, easy to spot even miles away. He didn't need a target on his back saying 'hey Eunhyuk from Super Junior is here' it was hard enough trying to avoid being seem by fans, journalists and worse anti-fans he didn't need this to complicate his life even more.

What he didn't get was what the hell was he doing on a Friday night clubbing? It was almost two in the morning and he had to get up at seven, still here he was sitting at a downtown club with a cola between his hands and trying to disappear into the shadows of the wall.

“Hey,” Kyuhyun sat near him, is chair close but not close enough to call people's attention. “You're sure you don't want anything stronger?”

“Kyu you know I don't drink and you shouldn't either, we have to get up early.”

“It's just a beer I'm used to take much more than this.” Eunhyuk frowned and the singer snugged the change to counter-attack. “Why, would you prefer if a single beer was enough to get me wasted so you could take advantage of me?” His hyung blushed crazily and coughed a little using the opportunity to get a cold hand against his cheek. “Hey wanna dance?”

“What?”

“You wanna go dance? I've improved my skills thanks to your teaching...” Kyuhyun's fingers brushed against Eunhyuk's blond hair that was showing below his ears. “You're a very good teacher hyung, I really like learning from you.”

The seductive invitation was there, lying open and free for everyone to see if they had eyes and ears. Eunhyuk's skin was still the color of strawberries; he took another sip of his cola to refresh his throat and calm down and saw an open hand waiting for his lead.

His fingers brushed softly and in an instant they were holding hands with Eunhyuk pulling the youngest to the dance floor. The bright lights of different colors were perfect to disguise the two idols; the fast music playing changed to a slower one as if challenging them to adventurer a little more...and they did.

Kyuhyun was glad he was taller than his hyung; he liked circling the others' waist tightly pulling him closer, so close in fact that their breaths mixed in the air. He enjoyed sneaking long fingers below Eunhyuk's shirt and feeling the skin hiding beneath, the velvet touch wakening his senses and leaving him breathless...it was such a high to touch Eunhyuk.

“I'm going crazy because I swear you're just like my drug.” He whispered hotly because his pants were starting to feel really tight, not that he would complain he liked the sensation and even more the outcome of it.

The dancer hugged his lover, hands digging in a mass of brown hair pulling the head lower and lower while his one when higher and higher and that second before their lips touched, that second where they read their real feeling in each other's eyes, where they assured each other of their want and love, was breathtaking.

And they kissed.

Like there was no tomorrow, like they were alone in the world with no one to care for who or where they were. Kyuhyun allowed the other to drown in his mouth, he released the leash and gave control to his hyung. Eunhyuk took it without second thought, his tongue ravishing, taking all it could in one taste.

Retreat, breathe and kiss. Retreat, breathe and kiss. How many times their mouths met? None knew but they were sure it wasn't near enough to satisfy their thirst for one another. The singer opened his eyes in the process wanting to catch every single detail of Eunhyuk's expressions; he loved the way the dancer always closed his eyes when kissing, a slight touch of pink still tainting his cheeks and lips so red and swallowed because of him...'mine!'

They noticed the dance floor was emptier than hours before. Chuckling like two teenagers they grabbed their coats and left the nightclub. It was cold outside; Kyuhyun's arm went around the dancer's back pulling him closer and he felt the presence of a head pressed against his shoulder in return.

Eunhyuk's hand surprised the maknae going around his waist but lower until it was inside his back-pocket. He tried to pretend he didn't enjoy that intimate touch that much but failed miserably when a big smile reached his lips.

“I'm glad you went to get me to Sukira.” They looked at each other still walking down the street. “Even though I'm tired it's a good feeling...if I'm your drug then you are my energy boost.”

“Glad to know that.” The singer replied stealing another kiss. At that moment Eunhyuk's cellphone started to ring. Kyuhyun watched his boyfriend's expression change from happiness to a deep frown after he read the message. He felt the other start distancing himself from him, clearly pushing away. “What's wrong?”

“Nothing.” He was confused. Kyuhyun knew their relationship was stronger than never but still there was something going on with Eunhyuk, he just didn't know what.

“You said the same thing few days ago at the dorm and you also tried to deny it then...but I'm not stupid Hyukjae.” They stopped and Eunhyuk pulled away leaving a grumpy maknae with the sudden emptiness by his side.

“There's nothing wrong Kyuhyun stop trying to find flaws where there are none.”

“I'm not trying to find any flaws, you're the one hiding things from me!”

“I'm not hiding anything from you! Damn it why do you have to analyze everything all the time? Give me some space!” Their voices rose significantly; the two men were facing each other with angry looks and in the singer's case an added stubborn stare. None wanted to give up their glaring battle but after few minutes Eunhyuk let out a sigh and turned his back walking down the street with hands deep inside his pockets.

Kyuhyun hated it. He hated the fact that they had fought for something so petty, so insignificant. He hated that the older had turned his back on him leaving him in the middle of the street all alone and still angry...he hated that Eunhyuk didn't even look once behind to make sure he was following him and he hated himself even more for allowing his heart to hurt at times like this.

Suddenly it seemed too much to take all alone, he was suffocating and he couldn't breathe...he found the electronic device quickly and pressed number two on his speed dial. Someone from the other side picked up after the fourth ring, a sleepy voice answering him and immediately staying alert when the words came out.

“Hey...” A sob broke from under his control but Kyuhyun was fast regaining his posture. “Can you meet me at the coffee shop? I...I really need a friend right now.”

Fade To Black - Part I

2011-08-27T14:27:19Z

Author: Slarya
Pairing: Blohyuk, hint of Kyuhyuk + Donghae/Tukutz because they are fun to write xD
Genre/Rating: AU!Angst, PG-13
Lenght: Part I of II
Words: 4,084

Summary: Tablo is a detective who believes in justice and punishment but what happens when an apparent criminal ends up being a victim?
Author's Note: For Val because it's her b-day and I wanted to write something for her :)) Sweetie have a nice day enjoy it to the max and eat a slice of cake for me, ok?^^ HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

The night was cold; the wind pushed the small snowflakes that were starting to fall against the blank face of the man. A gloved hand dug inside the jean’s pocket, fingers closed around a Marlboro’s package releasing a cigarette from its inside and after few seconds smoke could be seen running out of the man’s lips, creating a grey cloud that mixed itself with the fog of the night.

“I didn’t even have time for dinner today, I hate to work in the night shift.” Tablo glanced at his partner; Mithra was standing next to him, hands near his mouth trying to warm them. He took another cigarette from the almost empty package and passed it out to his partner. “Thanks.” Mithra lighted it, his lips pushing around the tobacco.

“So what do we have here?” Tablo pulled the white sheet away from the body and looked at the crime scene.

“The usual,” Mithra informed him. “No one saw or heard anything. A perfect cut around the neck, bled to death. No prints or weapon of the crime.”

Walking around the body Tablo searched for any clue other cops might had missed, something that could lead him to a suspect, anything that would allow him to begin doing his job.

“Hey look what I found.” Mithra handed him a small paper, it was an ID card, the victim was now identified and the name sounded oddly familiar.

“I’m starting to think this crime is somehow related to the murderer from last week, the death and circumstances are similar.” Tablo turned around, his eyes catching the small movement on the other side of the street: a man pulling a black beanie over his head and disappearing into the night. “Get all the possible information on the two victims, search for anything that relates them.” Mithra nodded and walked away…this was going to be another long night.

*** ***

The door was silently opened, keys were dropped over the small table at the entrance and a thin hand searched for the switch to turn on the lights. Hyukjae’s steps brought him to the only bedroom of the small apartment; he let his body rest over the blankets and stared at the ceiling above his head.

Moving his arms up he watched the white hands in front of him, white hands full of blood. It could not be seen but he knew it was there, the blood of those two men. He had never killed before that night, before all of that happen but now that he had started he had no other choice but to finish it.

Rolling on bed he pulled the blankets around him, trying to stop the tremors from taking control over his weak body; he felt scared and filthy, damaged and more than anything he felt like a sinner. To take a life, to steal another human’s life…it was wrong, so wrong.

“I’m sorry.” He cried, small whispers begging for forgiveness. “I couldn’t keep my promise…I’m so sorry.”

*** ***

Tablo’s hand grabbed the spoon as he mixed the coffee with the milk. Mithra was still out there doing his research, trying to find something that could relate the homicides. His mission was to stop this apparent serial killer, the sooner the better.

“There’s got to be something connecting them…both victims were killed in the same way, nothing was taken from them, two crimes with no apparent reason in less than a week at the same spot.” Files of the past crimes were sprawled at his front; fingers massaged the temples, trying to release his mind from the sleep that was making its way inside his body. Again he read the information about the two men, both males in their twenties but with no apparent connection between them besides their age.

“Now what more do you have in common? What am I’m missing out in this?”

“Tukutz and that Donghae kid are driving me insane with their making out in public…their uniform’s fetish should be illegal,” Mithra said, walking inside Tablo’s office with few files between his hands. “Anyway I found out something interesting.” Tablo raised an eyebrow in question. “These guys knew each other, they were pals in the past. And they have a record.”

“How come we didn’t hear about this before?” Mithra opened the first page of the files and pointed at it. He read the first paragraphs on the sheet. He smirked at the name of the old judge who had a grudge against his team, Park Chang-Sun.

“But what does this actually tells us about those men and the crime?” Tablo grabbed the other file Mithra was handing him.

“The guy murdered today is the Park Chang-Sun’s oldest son; apparently they did all they could to shut everyone’s mouth three years ago when he and some of his friends were suspects at a crime scene. Nothing new coming from this old fart, that we know.”

Going through the new information, Tablo’s eyes widened when he read the name of one of the victims.

“Lee Hyukjae, he’s still alive.” He grabbed his coat and the car’s keys. “Let’s pay him a visit, shall we?”

*** ***

The building was old and falling apart, Tablo pressed the elevator’s button but there was no signal. Mithra threw a coin in the air and grinned.

“Heads, your turn. I’ll be outside in the car.”

Sighing under his breath he moved to the stairs and quickly went up a couple of floors. Reaching his destination he waited few seconds before knocking again at the door; there was no sound from the other side of the walls, he wasn’t sure anyone was home.

Quietly one hand closed around the knob and turned it around, surprisingly enough it wasn’t locked.

“Seoul’s police!” He shouted but again there was no answer. He moved inside the small apartment; there was a small kitchen, a door to a bathroom and another one that would probably lead to a bedroom. Eyes scanned his surroundings; pulling the gun free from its holster his feet pushed against the bedroom’s closed door, slightly opening it.

Everything happened to quickly for him to react, one minute he was alone and entering the room the next one he had someone behind him pushing him into the ground and kicking his gun away. Fighting to get the control of the situation, he used some of Mithra’s techniques and gained the upper position of the fight, using his legs to keep the man’s waist on the ground and his hands to grab the arms that were trying to punch him.

“Who the fuck are you? Get off of me you fucking freak, let me go!” Tablo stared at the boy beneath him, struggling to get free from the tight hold. He was young, younger than Tablo had initially thought and he was skinny, his arms were skin and bone, there was almost no flesh on them.

“Calm down,” Tablo said but the request fell into deaf ears. “If you calm down I’ll let you go but you need to promise you won’t run away.” The boy’s chocolate eyes focused on him, he saw anger in them. “I’m from Seoul’s police, I’m a crime investigator if you promise you won’t attack me I can show you my badge.”

The boy stopped struggling, his eyes still glaring at the police man above his body. Tablo removed himself from the boy and stepped away, his hand looking inside his coat and bringing up the badge.

“I knocked and there was no answer, the door was also opened.” He explained while the younger man was standing, still looking suspiciously at him. “Are you Lee Hyukjae?”

“So what if I am?” He was trying to act tough but Tablo could see beyond the angered look, more than anything he was scared.

“I’m here to make some questions regarding a crime three years ago.” This spiced the young boy’s curiosity. “I’m looking for this Hyukjae guy because he’s the only survivor who can explain me what happened that night.”

“He’s not the only one,” That confused the older man. “But he’s the only one who can explain what happened, although the police didn’t help back then why would you help now?”

“So are you Lee Hyukjae?” The boy nodded, thin hands passed through his pale face and he sat back on the bed. His body was shacking; Tablo noticed he was only using a t-shirt and some ripped jeans. “Ok…” Pulling his coat off he surrounded the boy with it; Hyukjae blinked twice at the sudden warmth. “Let’s get you something warm to drink and after that we’ll talk.”

*** ***

Three toasts, two glasses of orange juice and the second ice-cream on its way. The boy eagerly took everything, hands working fast while bringing food and juice to his hungry mouth. It seemed like he had never seen so much food gathered in one place just for him.

“Take it easy,” Tablo warned as the boy coughed a little from having too much juice. “The food is not going anywhere, take your time.”

“He looks like a rat.” The older cop glared at his partner, annoyance clearly taking control of his expression. Mithra raised his hands amused and grinned. “A kind of cute rat, is that better?”

“So Hyukjae, you think we can talk now?”

The spoon with chocolate ice-cream stopped in the middle of the air, Hyukjae stayed still. His hands were trembling a little and he noticed Tablo’s sharp-eyes catching it, without much concern he moved them underneath the table.

“What do you wanna know?”

“What happen that night, three years ago? Our files only state you were one of the victims, the case is supposedly closed.” The boy laughed, low and painfully.

“It’s closed, why are you digging that up again?” This time there was anger in his voice, his fists pressed against the table with force, drawing some of the costumers’ attention to them. “Do you have fun going around and reminding people of their past? Like I could actually forget it…I don’t need you fucking liars reminding me of that night, I have enough nightmares already.”

Hyukjae stood up, dropped some coins over the table he knew it wasn't even close enough to pay the bill and left the small restaurant. He pulled the coat against his neck when he felt the cold wind; it was in that moment that he remembered who the coat belonged too.

“Kid,” Tablo grabbed his arm and turned Hyukjae around. “I know something went really wrong that night, I just want to help you.”

“I don’t need…”

“Call me,” The cop cut out and gently smiled at the boy, his hands fastening the first two buttons of the coat, one hand moving down and dropping a card-name inside the left pocket. Hyukjae blushed and stared wide-eyed at the man at his front. “When you’re ready to talk, call me.”

Hyukjae’s eyes followed the two cops’ shadows as they drove away…he realized he needed to see him, this game was starting to get dangerous.

*** ***

One hand passed through bleached hair, smoothing it with perfect, long fingers. Several pieces of journal’s pictures and articles were sprawled over the table, the light of the lamp illuminating the small space. The sound of a door opening down stairs was faintly heard; after few seconds he found himself staring at the shadow of a boy leaning against the wall.

“They know,” Hyukjae started. “Two cops came looking for me today, they said they wanted to help.”

“Did they accuse you of anything?” The bleached guy crossed his arms over the chest, his facial expression calm and collected.

“No, but…Tablo, his eyes…he knows something.”

“Tablo?” Hyukjae pressed even more against the wall, his back hurting with the pressure, those cold eyes shooting him, demanding an explanation. “He’s a cop not your friend, get that fact straight ahead Hyukjae.”

“I know.” There was a skeptical look on the boy’s face. “I do, ok? What do we do now?”

“Not we, you go back to your life. I’ll finish this quick and clean.”

“I’m already involved…I just wished we had thought about this more clearly.”

The boy moved away from his chair, hands grabbing one piece of a journal’s picture. He shoved it at Hyukjae’s face, clearly angered by the other man’s words.

“They killed him and those cops you suddenly feel connected too did nothing about it. Those bastards that claim to do justice sold themselves.” Hyuk saw the tears threatening to fall, but he knew better, Kyuhyun wouldn’t let weakness show. “They need to pay for what they did to us, I don’t care what happens to me in the end but I assure you Hyukkie, they will all pay the price.”

His hand reached forward, circling Kyuhyun’s cold fingers with his bony ones. He had agreed to do this in the first place, he couldn’t go back anymore. The only thing left to do was to finish it, and he wasn’t going to back out on his friend ever again, they were together in this vendetta.

*** ***

Tablo’s eyes followed the boy’s movements catching everything, every single touch and implied action.

Donghae’s hand pressed for few seconds at the older cop’s back, lingering there enough time to arouse but not long enough to prolong the pleasure. Tukutz tried to grab the boy but Donghae was faster moving out of the room, not without sending the other a seductive look that involved an amused grin together with a wink.

“Tell me they’re not doing it again?” Mithra sat on the other side of Tablo’s desk while Tukutz sneaked out of the room, probably following his boyfriend to the nearest shadowed corner of the building. “This is getting ridiculous, after two months you would think they had enough time to suppress the horny stage.”

“But it’s interesting.” Big teddy bear eyes mocked the older man, Tablo smirked. “I was watching them…”

“You need to get laid bro.”

“And what Donghae was doing, the way he makes Tukutz forget his job and people around him…” Tablo pulled his glasses off. “What if the same technique is applied to our crime scene?”

“What do you mean?” Mithra glanced at the photos from the bodies, the places where they had been found.

“Look, those two guys were healthy and had military training. However there’s nothing telling us that they tried to avoid their deaths, they didn’t fight because they weren’t expecting to have to.”

“So you think someone lured them to that alley?”

“Bingo,” Tablo smirked. “We have in our hands not one killer but two. Both victims were killed in that street and look what I found." He showed him another picture. "It’s only few blocks away from Inner Zone.”

“I say let’s party tonight.” Mithra replied.

*** ***

Inner Zone

It was more than a bar. It was an underground place where people left their social status outside doors. Here you had no name, no social position to protect or care. You had looks, seduction and of course lots and lots of money.

Hyukjae pushed few locks of hair behind his ear; his hand grabbed the vodka drink leading it to his dry lips. He was nervous, he hated to feel this way, the guy next to him was devouring him with those dark eyes and even though he was trying his best to ignore him, it wasn’t exactly working.

“Can I pay you a drink?” A voice said too close to his ear.

“No thank you, I already got one.” The man laughed and pressed against the boy’s body, one hand circling the waist while lips kissed the neck. “What are you doing? Let me go!”

“Don’t be such a prude kid. We both know you’re not here just to drink, you want money? I got plenty, just come with me like a nice, quiet boy.”

“If you touch him ever again I’ll kill you.” Kyuhyun whispered to the man, surprising both him and Hyukjae with his presence. “I advise you to seek the front door and leave, trust me I’m not kidding.” The older man glared at them, he was about to say something but when his eyes met Kyuhyun’s cold ones he thought twice.

“You’re both fucking crazy.” Grabbing his coat the man left the spot and was out of view seconds later.

“You’re ok?” Kyuhyun took the now free spot next to Hyukjae, reaching for his friend’s drink and taking a sip of it.

“Yes, thank you.”

Tablo saw the scene displaying at his front. He had not expected to find Lee Hyukjae there, not so soon after their meeting. He was about to come and rescue the poor boy when someone got there first.

The guy was probably Hyukjae’s age or younger, the platinum hair made girls and guys look in hunger in his direction. There were few words traded between them and after that the older man left with a terrified look crossing his features.

Hyukjae seemed to relax under the other boy’s protection; he even managed to smile a little.

“Did I tell you I hate this place?” Mithra said while paying for his second beer. “Hey who’s that guy with the Hyukjae kid?”

“I don’t know,” Tablo rose from his seat. “But I intent to find out.”

Moving between bodies, Tablo made his way to the bar on the other side of the room. He observed the way the bleached haired boy was looking intensively at one guy, sitting three chairs away from their spot. And the way Hyukjae tried to ignore everyone in the room, hands trembling a little before going inside his worn out jean’s pockets.

The guy mumbled something, his eyes glancing at the side and catching Hyukjae’s small nod before proceeding to move away from his seat and walking outside, leaving the other once again alone.

Hyukjae finished his drink in one row and asked for another one, also finishing that one pretty fast. Tablo walked closer when the young man approached the guy three chairs away, bumping with him and clumsily smiling and saying sorry. The man smirked and quickly offered Hyukjae his own beer, pulling the boy closer by his waist and whispering something.

Tablo felt sick watching the way Hyukjae was acting, pretending to enjoy the kiss left over his collarbone and the hands going inside his pants, he couldn’t stay still, even if this was exactly what he needed to prove his theory he didn’t want to be right, not about this kid.

“Seoul’s police.” Hyukjae stared in shock at him and his badge. The other guy seemed to be sober enough and quickly pulled away. “That kid is underage, so unless you want me to arrest you right now you better leave.”

“I’m not a minor!” The guy didn’t even care anymore, looking at Tablo’s holster and badge was enough to get him out of there. “What are you doing?”

“That’s exactly what I want to know about you. Were you trying to get that guy to follow you three blocks away from here?”

Hyukjae’s face paled, he understood the implication of those words. He was right all along, Tablo knew more than Kyuhyun thought. He was supposed to feel threatened or scared, but he wasn’t. He was actually glad someone could stop him in time for once.

“Aren’t you going to arrest me?” Hyukjae closed his fists and showed them to the cop, waiting for the touch of metal around his them. Tablo typed a fast message to his partner and grabbed Hyukjae’s hand.

“Let’s talk somewhere else.”

*** ***

Tablo’s apartment wasn’t luxurious or fancy, it was simple and small but at the same time it had the man’s warm aura in the air. He waited while the cop made some coffee, sitting on the couch and glancing from time to time to the kitchen door.

At first he had thought Tablo was taking him back to the station, when he parked outside a normal building he had been surprised. This man was very different from the previous cops he had met, he seemed more like a friend and more importantly he seemed like he really cared.

“I guarantee you it’s Seoul’s best coffee.” Hyukjae thanked and grabbed the cup, drinking a little of the hot drink.

“You’re right you know, about me.”

Tablo waited for the boy to continue, the whispered voice came weak when Hyukjae finally found the courage to confess.

“That night we wanted it to be special. Wookie had finally been accepted at Seoul’s music school, it was a big thing for us you know? Coming from the orphanage and without any money...he was so special, such a good kid...we were supposed to have fun. Wookie wanted to cook for us so I helped him with the groceries…”

It started to rain outside, the sound of the pouring rain acting like a soft melody between their silent moments. Tablo reached for Hyukjae’s hand, holding it tightly between his own trying to comfort the youngster.

“It was my fault, I was the one who told him to take a short cut…Kyuhyun was already waiting for us home, I didn’t want to make him wait.”

Tears started to fall; Hyukjae’s body was shacking with the strength of his sobs. It was painful to see this young kid suffering so much.

“They were three and corned us in a dark alley. We tried to scream for help but…they were stronger and I tried to help him I swear I did…”

“I know Hyukjae, I know you tried your best to protect your friend.”

“It wasn’t enough,” Hyukjae’s eyes were suddenly angered. “I didn’t do enough, they raped him in front of my own eyes, they beat me up when I tried to help him…I remember the blood, Wookie’s screams faintly disappearing, that’s the last thing I can recall. I woke up two weeks later in a hospital bed…he hadn’t made it and I never had the chance to say goodbye, to say sorry.”

Silence covered the living room; Tablo sighed and grabbed his phone, texting Mithra. He couldn’t believe these guys had walked free, this wasn’t going to end here, no way would he let those bastards walk free like good citizens. Even if two of them were dead already Tablo would make sure their names would be marked...their family would know what dishonour and shame meant.

“It’s been three years and I tried hard to rebuild my life, but I can’t.” The boy suddenly said, eyes red with salty water running along his tired face. “Kyuhyun was left all alone, Wookie was his brother he has no one else in this world, the cops…they said they would help but they didn’t and…”

“Who killed those men Hyukjae?” Please tell me it wasn’t you, please.

“I was at the bar trying to get myself a job. I recognized him immediately and I was scared because he knew who I was. He followed me down the street and tried to hurt me again…Kyuhyun was only trying to save me, he didn’t mean to kill him, trust me please he didn’t.” Hyukjae begged, chocolate eyes big with plea.

“Kyuhyun, is that the bleached guy who helped you tonight?”

The other nodded confirming Tablo’s theory. He was right all along, the first murder had been spontaneous, almost considered sell defense. But the next one and the other that almost happened tonight hadn’t. Hyukjae was a victim, Kyuhyun was a victim…the real murderers were those guys, the ones who had walked free three years ago.

Still no one would obviously see the case like this, Tablo was worried. Hyukjae was being manipulated by this Kyuhyun guy. He was using Hyukjae’s feelings, Hyukjae’s weakness and Hyukjae’s fears to make the boy help him commit justice with his own hands. There was no way he would stop unless the third guy was also dead.

“I need you to take me to your friend.” Hyukjae instantly jerked away from Tablo’s side and the cop knew right away he had lost him in this.

“No.”

“Hyukjae what you and Kyuhyun are doing is wrong. I understand your pain and the injustice of this situation but you can’t go around killing people.”

“I know but I won’t hand Kyu over to you, never.” His eyes were firm with conviction. “Arrest me please, that’s your job.”

*** ***

A/N: I was inspired by Metallica's song "Fade to Black" (the lyrics in the poster are also from the song). I'll try to update the last part soon, though it will be a little hard with all the other updates I still have to make lol - yeah I know I'm really REALLY slow T_T

Tarnished Souls - Last Part

2011-08-21T20:03:39Z

Author: Slarya

Pairing: Blohyuk, Yehyuk + others

Genre/Rating: Angst, R

Words: 4,101

Summary: He's living his life just for the sake of living, trying to forget the emptiness on his soul...

A/N: Two years to finally finish this fic D: but now it's done! good-bye evil/tormented/crazy Yesung I loved writing you, it was so much fun, I'm gonna miss you :D
Btw horrible formatting LJ is being an ass like always to me :((

TARNISHED SOULS

If someone asks me to narrate the events of that rescue I don’t think I will be able to. Everything is a blur; I remember Yesung’s last words, the way his eyes hungrily look in my direction, I remember Jae’s voice that so much makes me wish for freedom, I remember Yunho saying he’ll carry me and Jaejoong’s commanding voice forbidding him to do so.

“You’re safe now Hyukkie, that man will never touch you again, I promise.” And I can feel his strong yet so gentle arms around my body and whoever sees him might think he’s carrying a lost child who has finally found his way back home.

*** ***

It seems like ages since the last time I was inside this house; Junsu starts crying when he sees me, I see the mysterious man from the apartment pulling my friend inside a tight hug and kissing his cheek, I manage to smile at him.

“Junsu I’ll tell you what happened and you’ll talk to Hyukkie in the morning.” Junsu starts to interrupt but Jae is faster. “He’s hurt and he needs to rest right now.” At this my friend pulls himself together, with an angry and revolted look, I never thought I would see in his facial expression, he pulls me out of Jae’s embrace.

“I’m his best friend,” He says, controlling his tears. “I will take care of him.” My head rests against his shoulder and I relax, for the first time in weeks I can let myself go because I’m safe now. Junsu helps me get inside his room; sitting at the bed I watch him as he grabs some of his clothes, his hands are shacking and he tries hard to hide the teary eyes from me, Junsu my eternal brother.

“I never told you because I didn’t want you to be disappointed with me.” I confess, it’s time to open the game. Junsu glares at me, he’s angry of course. A white sweater and black cotton pants are dropped at my front.

“You’re really stupid. I thought we were best-friends…I thought we were brothers.” He’s crying again, seriously he cries more than me which is a record itself. “I always told you everything about my boring life,even my most private things like the first time I slept with someone and you…I don’t know you anymore.”

He leaves the room closing the door softly behind him. It hurts; Junsu is like the half part of me that is actually good, if he’s not by my side I don’t know if I’ll be able to go through this. Grabbing the clothes I change into them and quickly hide myself inside the cozy blankets, a big part of me wants to pretend this is not really happening.

I doubt I will be able to fall asleep tonight, there are so many fears, so many scars that will never heal…if I close my eyes will I open them later and realize this is all a dream? What about Yesung? What will he do when he finds out I’m not there anymore? I’m afraid for me but mostly I’m afraid for my friends.

The door opens again and I pull the blankets even closer to my head, I don’t want to talk to Jae, I don’t want to see anyone. A body crawls inside the sheets and pulls me closer to a warm embrace; I panic a little but then I see Junsu’s brown eyes looking at me, giving me strength, asking for forgiveness.

“I’m going to protect you. I won’t let that man come close to you Hyukkie; we are all going to be here I promise.”

*** ***

The phone rings. It’s him I know it, it can only be him. All night long that phone has buzzed, Junsu fell asleep a little after midnight but my eyes stayed open through the entire time and that light kept flashing against them. 'Come back to me' it whispers in my mind and against my wishes.

Pulling the blanket away, I start getting up. My hand reaches out for the wall next to bed it supports my weight as I stumble a little. Junsu is still sleeping and without any noise I leave the room, closing the door softly behind me.

The house is quiet; to tell the truth it scares the hell out of me, I don’t think I will ever the able to get free from this constant fear of the unknown. The whisper of a melody starts filling the air, my feet walk quietly to the other side of the corridor and I stay there listening to the story being unleashed only for my ears, a rhythmical succession of single tones that clams my throbbing heart.

Pushing the door open I stare at the man playing the piano; I don’t recognize the music but it evokes memories of loss and sadness. It seems so surreal to be in peace, safe inside these four walls, to be able to hear him play again for me…yes because I know he is playing for me. I can feel it from the way he touches the row of black and white keys in the piano, softly almost afraid of scaring me if the music becomes louder.

He stops and slowly turns to look in my direction; he’s crying. Silent tears travel along his tired face, leaving aged marks on the skin. Marks that shouldn’t be there in the first place, not if it wasn’t for me. I realize we are both broken, like two pieces of a big puzzle that can only coexist if together…we crashed and burned but in the end we’re still here…still alive and still loving one another.

“I realized only too late.” He says, cleaning the watery tracks away and turning around to look outside the window. “I can’t believe how stupid I was, all the signs were there and still…so much intelligence for nothing.”

I’m not sure of what to say, the last thing I want is for Tablo to blame himself for something that is not his fault. It’s mine; I let Yesung do all those things to me. I’m not a child anymore I should have stopped him, it’s my fault and no one else’s.

“You know what I hate most?” Tablo looks in my direction at the sound of my horse voice, eyebrows rising, questioning. “That I actually let him control me, I simply didn’t fight back. I could have asked for help but…I don’t even know why I didn’t do that.”

“You did.” Tablo stops short, cupping the coffee mug between his hands. They tremble during the process, only a slight tremor that would be unnoticed to most people. “We just weren’t listening to your silent cry for help.”

The vapor of the strong coffee fills the air creating a thin wall between us. Tablo takes a sip of the hot liquid, eyes on me with a steady gaze as I walk near him. Letting my body adjust to his, my hand starts searching…searching for the familiar touch of lean fingers; we interline them, his thumb caresses the back of my hand with slow movements and that moment is when I truly realize that I’m safe. No more running.

“I need to shower, clean this blood.” I feel him nodding his head. “I also need help with the bandages…”

“Let me help you.” His murmur comes after a kiss left over my hair. “I’ll also get you some of my clothes; those pants look really bad on you.” I smile for the first time in weeks.

“You tell me, I’ll never borrow Junsu’s clothes again.”

*** ***

Looking at the mirror I’m not sure I can recognize myself. It’s my reflection, it’s me who’s standing there but at the same time it’s also a stranger. Tablo gently pulls the bandages from my left arm; I see him narrowing his eyes at the cuts marking the flesh. They’re looking better than couple of days ago though.

“H-he did this?” A look of horror crosses his features and I’m sure he’s imagining what I went through to have those marks craved on my skin, forever. For the first time I’m curious to know what’s written but I don’t recognize the Kanji. “It means love in Japanese. Geishas used to tattoo them on their most special and beloved lovers, it was a way of proving their owning over someone.”

“Oh, at least he didn’t write something stupid like…anchovy or something.” Tablo’s hands drift down and then he’s hugging me from behind, his breath tickling on my neck as he presses his head against my skin.

“If I see that bastard near you again, I’ll kill him. I swear I'll fucking kill him.”

We stay like that, his body leaning on mine, a force reassuring me that nothing will ever hurt me, not while he’s by my side. I’m not aware of time passing by, it’s like we’re in a world of our own where no one besides us has the key to enter.

The day dawns with a cloudless sky, small rays of sunlight trespass the window of the room, their warmth touching Tablo’s sleeping face. My fingers travel on his skin, slightly feeling its satin’s perfection under them. He must have been so worried, so afraid for what could possibly happen to me; somehow I feel I don’t deserve half of what this man gives me. But I’m a selfish person and I take everything he has to offer without thinking twice, without looking back and I wish...I wish for even more.

“Hyukkie,” Jaejoong calls from the entrance of the bedroom, relief tainting his words. “You’re here.”

“Shh, you’ll wake him up.” Pulling the blanket closer to Tablo, I softly kiss his lips before leaving bed and following Jae outside. “We talked last night and I fell asleep here.” Jae smiles, one arm pulling me closer.

“I’m glad he finally gets to rest. I think he didn’t sleep in almost three days, it was killing him to not know where you were.” We join Yunho and the man known as Yoochun in the kitchen.

“Hyukjae…how are you?” Yunho really seems to have changed; I can read the concern in his sincere eyes. Also I can’t blame him, if it was the other way around I would also be pissed and jealous of someone so closed to Tablo, like I am to Jae.

“I’m hungry to tell the truth.”

“Well that’s good news, because I’m making your favorite type of breakfast…pancakes with hot chocolate.”

“Sounds perfect to me Jaejoonie.”

Yes, forget all the bad things. Hold yourself onto the good ones already here and the even better ones yet to come…you can do it Hyukjae, just don’t be afraid of that man anymore.

*** ***

It’s strange how quickly time passes by. After those terrible events I’m finally having the clean start I wanted for my life. It’s been three months and no one knows of Yesung.

The police was notified the day after my return but the man who promised to cherish me long time ago was gone. I’m afraid of his return because deep down inside I know he won’t ever stop searching for me…but life still goes on and I’m feeling happy now.

Feeling good and with energy I start dusting the white piano in the living room. Two weeks after my rescue I accepted Tablo’s invitation to move to a smaller condo with him. We’re living in a house so small and old and full of love that I can’t help but to feel secure inside it. So much happiness, will it ever end?

I spend my days waiting for my lover’s return; when he’s working I entertain myself reading books, listening to music, practicing my dance…like Junsu said I still have time to do all the things I’ve dreamed of.
The phone over the coffee table rings and my heart jumps at the sound chiming through the room. Calming myself I answer after checking the ID.

“Hey.” Tablo whispers and I know he’s near his friends and probably smiling like a dork at the phone. I laugh a little.

“Hi…how’s work?”

“Chaotic like always…I miss you. How are you today?” It's like our secret code: how are you today? For me it means care, it means take it easy, one day at a time and you'll go through it.

“I’m fine. Cleaning your stuff right now…I won’t find any dirty porn magazine under the bed right?” He chuckles, a warm feeling spreads through my entire body.

“If it has boobs on the cover then it’s Tukutz’s. I’m going to be late tonight…” He sighs and I know what he’s thinking. “I can call Jaejoong to keep you company if you want.”

“Nah, I’m a little tired. I’ll take a shower and I’ll go sleep early tonight.”

“You could call Junsu…”

“I’m fine, really hyung…don’t worry if anything happens I’ll call you right away.” His voice reflects his inner tumult, he hates when I’m alone for long periods of time. I think he’s afraid I’ll disappear once again without leaving trace.

“Don’t open the door to anyone you don’t know.”

“Now you’re being childish…I’m not a kid.”

“Just…” I hear him ruffling his hair; I can picture his left hand running through black locks in irritation like he does when he’s trying hard to find inspiration to his writing. “Just do this for me, please!”

“You know I always do…I love you so much.” A thought runs in my mind, a feeling that maybe this is just too much for him to take, that maybe I shouldn’t be asking this from the man I love because he should be happy and deserves to be living without holding this kind of worries in his heart. The weight of the world over his shoulders. “Please, don’t ever stop loving me.” I selfishly beg with tears at the corner of the eyes.

“You big kid, that’s not even a possibility.” Thank you I want to whisper but my voice fails and is lost with the sobs that escape my throat. “I’m going to finish this quickly and I’ll be home soon. I’ll tuck you in and kiss your lips until you fall asleep…and you’ll be inside my arms all night long.”

“Come home soon!”

“I will…I love you Lee Hyukjae.” And the call ends. The phone rests against my chest and relief fills the bones in my body, the flesh below my skin.

There’s a soft knock at the door that surprises me. Leaving the sofa I walk until I’m standing near enough to look through the hole in the wooden door. The light outside is turned off and I can’t see anything.

Just when I’m about to walk away the light illuminates the entrance; A man dressed in black is standing with his back to me. His soft hair, his height, his small hands…I stop breathing and I take a step behind.
Without thinking much I run inside the bedroom and close the door locking it in the process. With trembling hands I digit the numbers I know will save me…

“Hyukkie?”

“Tablo,” My voice is low, what if he can hear me from the other side of the apartment? I'm so scared…damn it. “Tablo, he’s here.”

“What?” Panic on the other side of the line. “Fuck! Where are you, where is he?”

“H-He’s still outside. I locked myself in our bedroom…what do I do hyung?”

“Shh don’t worry baby. I’ll call Jae and I’m already getting inside the car. Stay there and do nothing, ok?”

“O-ok…” Silence and our breaths. “Can you stay with me?”

“Yeah…I won’t turn off the phone, I’m here Hyukjae.”

We don't say anything we simply hear each other's breath to know we're both still there. There's another knock a little louder this time, my heart skips another beat. My hands hold the phone close to the ear, they're sweating...I'm reduced to a small fragment of myself. Tears are on the verge of breaking but I need to be strong...I've been through so much...I survived.

Something changes then, something I never thought it would be possible to heal. Will I be able to stand for myself for once? Or will I crawl inside my shell and forever be trapped inside?

“Hyung,” I unlock the door and step by step I approach the front door. “He's just a man.” Another knock and my steps falter briefly before returning to the slow walk. “And I'm a man...I can't be afraid forever.”

“What are you talking about...” Tablo seems to understand, he's just that smart and quickly he adds two plus two. “Hyukjae stay inside the bedroom, I'm almost there.” He receives no answer. “Hyukjae?? HYUKJAE????”

“I'm sorry but this time I have to do it myself. I love you Tablo.” I press the off button before I hear his cries, I don't need him to change my mind I finally understand what I must do.

One hand slowly turns the knob and the front door opens. The man standing on the other side looks at me, stares deeply into my eyes. My body is trembling but I don't let him see how scared of him I truly am.

“Hyukkie.” His voice his low, deprived of any feelings. There's no happiness or sadness, no anger or confusion. It's neutral.

“Yesung.” I reply back, my hand firm against the door. “The police's looking for you.”

“Yes,” At this he looks down and he sounds sad. “I understand you had something to do with it?”

“Yes.” Just go away, please please please disappear!

“Why?”

“You have got to be kidding,” He glances confused now and I'm also surprised because suddenly anger starts to boil in my blood...doesn't he realize what he has done to me? “You kidnapped me! You tortured me, rapped me and drugged me...you have broken me into millions of pieces! I can't sleep at night thinking how you will someday find me and hurt me again...hurt the people I love!!!”

“You mean that fucking Tablo guy?” A hand grabs hold of my arm and pushes me inside, I stumble back a little. He's stronger than I remember. “Is this his home? Are you waiting for him to return like a good wife? Tell me Hyukkie,” Yesung holds my arms and pulls me close, his eyes are dark and his face is nothing but a grotesque mask of deeply resentful ire. “How does he fuck you Hyukkie? Do you go on your knees and beg him to fuck you until you pass out? Do you suck off his cock with that beautiful mouth of yours like I taught you?? ANSWER ME!”

Don't be afraid Lee Hyukjae, you already won this war no matter what, you won!

“We don't fuck Yesung. We make love there's a big difference.” I look back at him firm in my stand...Tablo would be proud of me. “He touches and kisses me with love, he cherishes me and whispers I love you and he means it. I let my fingers feel his skin, walk all over his body because it pleasures me as much as it pleasures him...we're in love and it's beautiful. That I found him and have him is simply precious. I belong to him and he belongs to me that will never ever change.” The hands around my skin are tight, it hurts. “He's nothing like you; you're fucked up...you're a monster and I hope you rot in jail for the rest of your life.”

For few seconds there's only silence.

Then his cold fingers close around my throat and start squeezing it, slow at first and then harder and harder after few seconds. I can't breathe but strangely enough I'm not afraid. I fight back! My hands start trying to unlock his, my legs kick and my body moves in hope of finding a way out of the strong hold...my vision blurs and there's only Yesung's voice chanting the same thing all over again.

“You're mine...you're mine...you're mine...”

Like a broken record and it's funny how is voice stills sounds beautiful to my ears, the same beautiful feeling I had when we first met. I guess he's not the only fucked up person in the room.

My body slides to the floor with the fingers never letting go. So this is the end uh? At least I was brave enough to stand up and fight my battle, for the first time in my life I'm really really proud of myself.

….....
…...
…..
…
..
.

“Hyukjae!”

“Baby wake up...please wake up!”

There's a soft touch against my face. Fingers slowly pulling my hair back and warm lips touch the corner of my mouth. Eyes open and the vision takes a while to adjust to the reality; I'm still in the same place in the living room but my body is now being hold by strong arms.

“Ta-Tablo?” It hurts to speak and my voice doesn't feel like it belongs to me. It's weird. Immediately I have concerned eyes staring back at me full of unleashed tears. “I'm sorry.”

“Shh baby shh it's ok now, you're safe. He won't ever hurt you again...ever again I promise.” Tablo hugs me tightly against his chest and leaves kisses over my hair, my face, my lips. I'm still confused and where's Yesung? I voice that thought out loud and immediately I feel him tense up. “We should go inside the bedroom...until they...”

“What happened?” My answer is quickly exposed when I look past Tablo's body that is trying to cover my view from the rest of the apartment. It fails. Yesung is few feet away from where we stand.

Fallen over our wooden floor is the man that has hunted me for the last years. Blood leaves marks over the dark clothes and his eyes are still looking my way...life has long left that body but his eyes...those dark eyes are still looking at me.

“I got here and you were already unconscious. His hands were still around your neck and that's when the police arrived.” I grab Tablo's shirt and pull closer to him. I don't want to know but still I keep listening. “They shot him after warning him twice to let you go.” Emptiness. How can it be that his death seems to leave a sorrowful void in my heart?

“So...he's really dead?” I whisper, not really believing in what my eyes are seeing, what my ears are hearing.

“Yes! I'm sorry I wasn't here in time, I-”

“No, I wanted to do this myself...I thought I was strong enough to fight him.”

“You were Hyukjae, I never saw anyone braver and stronger than you.” His lips descend over mine and briefly touch them.

“Excuse me,” An officer approaches us. “But we have to take him to the morgue and prepare the official declarations.”

“Yes, of course.” Tablo helps me stand up, his coat falls over my shoulders and I grab onto his arm for support. “I'll take you to the hospital first, after the doctor examines you we'll go to the police station and I'll call Jaejoong, don't worry.” He adds before the words are even formulated in my brain.

We cross the living room and without glancing back even once I completely and determinately close this dark chapter of my life.

*** ***

It's weird to stand in front of him once again. Now we're worlds apart but still this distance doesn't seem enough to me...I think my soul screams for universes apart.

“I'm only sorry I didn't realize sooner how sick you were...and that you needed help. I won't let you hunt me or scare me ever again, I'll live my life and I hope...” Tears roll down my face I glance at the blue sky above my head, the sun is warm and it feels good to be alive. “I hope you have finally found the peace you were looking for.” White flowers are left over a humble grave. “Good bye Yesung.”

Lee Hyukjae turns and walks down the green path that leads outside the cemetery. At the exit there's a man that has been waiting for him all his life. They smile at each other; the older gently lays a comfortable arm around the other boy's shoulders. They fit perfectly with one another.

“Are you alright?” He asks and knows the answer even before he hears it because there's a look in Hyukjae's eyes that gives him hope.

“I will be...I finally will be.”

THE END

Can you hear my heartbeat...Part III

2011-08-17T18:21:16Z

Author: Slarya
Pairing: Kyuhyuk
Genre/Rating: Angst/Romance, NC-17
Words: 3,239

Summary: Kyuhyun thought this was the most stupid thing he had ever done in his life...

Cold.

It was really cold out there; it sure didn't feel like a summer night, at all.

Kyuhyun crossed his arms trying to get a little warmer and walked faster through busy streets. Seoul's lights were burning their light into the dark skyline; it was a perfect night for lovers the singer noted and felt slightly jealous at the couples passing by him, hugging and laughing.

He stopped at the crosswalk waiting for the signal to change from red to green, his right hand moved inside his pocket to look for the cell phone. The light turned green and he instantly moved along the black and white path with the crowd, his eyes scanning for messages or missing calls. None!

This was one of the things he needed to change about Eunhyuk. The boy didn't seem to miss him at all, seriously why didn't he call or message him? A good-morning call or ‘how was your day’ message would be nice once in a while. It wasn't asking much, right?

Wrong! With Eunhyuk it was asking too much because the boy didn't seem to find those kinds of interactions necessary. He still remembered the first time he complained about it and the dancer's answer dismissing his words completely with 'Kyuhyun-shi I'm not a girl...I won't be clinging to you all the time' and that had ended his protests really quickly as if a bucket filled with freezing water had been dropped over his head...heck he wasn't a girl either if that was what Eunhyuk was not so subtly implying, damn it!

Opening one of the back doors for SM building he walked fast inside with his body instantly welcoming the warmth of it. He crossed one, two corridors with his pace slightly increasing at each step.

“Kyuhyun-ah?” Freezing at his spot he glanced over one shoulder, of course someone just had to be there to complicate things even more...was nothing easy in his life anymore? “What are you doing here so late?”

“Forgot something earlier in the dance room.” There, simple and easy and most importantly not a lie. He did come to get Eunhyuk.

“Ah...well don't stay long you have an early schedule tomorrow morning.” The boy nodded and turned to resume his walk. “And see if you can take Eunhyuk home with you, today he's impossible with his dance practice.”

“Sure hyung.” He smiled sweetly at his manager and when he was finally alone he couldn’t avoid turning that smile into a slightly evil smirk. He would do more than take his hyung home with him tonight.

The corridor on the third floor was dark and empty; the only sign proving that someone else was there was a small light and loud music coming out from one of the doors. Kyuhyun pushed the door aside searching for his hyung.

Eunhyuk was standing at the center of the large room facing the big mirror that covered one of the walls. He had a black cap covering his hair and eyes and a tight black sleeveless shirt hugging his torso. His white baggy shorts fell low on his waist showing the top of his Calvin Klein briefs and leaving little to Kyuhyun's wild imagination.

The singer had to close his eyes for a moment to calm his heartbeat, after all he was young and his boyfriend was just gorgeous and damn he had to focus on something else, right now!

Luckily for him it was easy to focus on Eunhyuk's dance. He was indeed Super Junior's dancing machine with the way his body was fluently moving at the sound of the beats, his hands and arms doing some complicated moves that Kyuhyun's eyes could not follow and his feet...God his footwork was something out of this world.

“Amazing!” He whispered and it was as if Eunhyuk heard him even thought it was impossible with the loud beat of the track still ringing in their ears. Maybe it was telepathy the singer childishly thought when the dancer crossed eyes with him through the mirror and smiled at him, that gorgeous smile just for him.

“What are you doing here so late?” Ok, so that was not exactly what he wanted to hear from the other in their first exchange of words in, he glanced at his wrist watch, eight hours of being apart.

“Practice ended a little later than usual and I was hungry...thought you would be too.”

“Ah...” Was all he got as an answer and he had to avoid pouting because Eunhyuk could be so insensitive some times, bet all the fans thought he was the cold one...nop girls, not at all.

Eunhyuk moved to his bag that was standing over a chair near the door, grabbing his bottle of water he started drinking not minding his surroundings. Kyuhyun sat against the door and puffed his cheeks in annoyance glancing at his watch once in a while, just for the sake of having something to do besides looking at the other boy.

“How was your day?” Eunhyuk finally asked, his hands had a white towel and he was passing the fabric through his arms and neck. Nice just what he needed right now. Fuck! And fuck his hormones!

“Tiring but I'll survive.” He muttered looking at his shoes wishing his dirty thoughts could be closed inside a box in his brain and only be opened whenever he felt in the mood. He was not in the mood now, really he wasn't.

White sneakers approached him and he looked up to see his hyung smiling softly at him. Eunhyuk still had the towel around his neck, small drops of sweat ran along the line of his jaw and Kyuhyun felt his throat dry at the vision before him. The rapper wasn't oblivious of what he was doing to his dongsaeng, in fact Kyuhyun was starting to think he had done it on purpose.

“Kyuhyun-shi,” Eunhyuk started saying in a sweet, really sweet voice that didn’t match his seductive gaze. “Are you still hungry?” The singer didn't understand the question at first but it didn't take long for him to get what Eunhyuk was saying. Not when the dancer pressed his knees on each side of his waist and sat right on top of him. “Because I'm not that hungry...at least not for food anyway.”

Kyuhyun had to blush, he just had to. But he didn't mind when he felt Eunhyuk slowly moving his hips against him in that sensual and slow oh so slow way. Great way to leave him brain dead at least for few seconds.

His hands rose to grab the slighter thinner male, fingers closing hard around the waist flesh imprinting for sure small marks of possession. “I'm not hungry.” He whispered to Eunhyuk's ear when the other went forward to nibble at his neck. He felt the older man smile against his skin and hugged him tighter afraid of losing this moment.

“I want you.” Eunhyuk said surprising the youngest. Kyuhyun looked at brown eyes that were so loving and honest and still so innocent despite all.

Of course this would someday happen, in Kyuhyun's mind he thought he would have more time to prepare himself because he wanted to do everything right. He didn't want to give his hyung reasons to end their relationship. He wanted them to have the perfect dinner, the perfect room, the perfect night...he didn't realize he had voiced out his thoughts until Eunhyuk chuckled and pressed a hand against his cheek.

“If you're with me then it's already perfect, I don't need anything else.”

“Hyukjae...” They went forward at the same time their mouths connecting slowly, Kyuhyun adjusting his head so they didn't bump their noses. He felt Eunhyuk's tongue exploring his insides and he joined him in their discovery of flavours and sensations.

He loved kissing Eunhyuk because he tasted like honey and sugar and everything overly sugary that usually he would dislike but that in the dancer's case only made him crave for more. Persistent hands threw the towel around Eunhyuk’s neck to the floor and pulled the cap away from his head so his fingers could finally interlace with soft golden hair. He pulled the rapper closer and closer with his hands going down from the head to the back and inside the sweaty shirt.

Eunhyuk shivered at the contact releasing a low moan when Kyuhyun started biting and running his tongue over his collarbone. He let the other pull the shirt over his head, feeling the cold air hitting his naked flesh in the process.

The dancer glanced down at his lover, Kyuhyun was busy kissing his chest and running fingers down his back; hands brushed over brown hair and lips kissed the top of a head sweetly. Kyuhyun stopped. Eunhyuk didn't.

“I love you so much Kyuhyunnie.” And he pulled the younger hugging him tightly, still leaving kisses over his hair, still murmuring the same words over and over again.

“Hyukjae,” Lips met again this time more needy, more desperate...they just wanted more and more of each other. Everything the other had left to give, they wanted it all. “You're mine!”

Eunhyuk didn't protest to that. Instead his hand ventured inside the blue jeans undoing two buttons on its way down. Kyuhyun froze when he felt fingers crossing that limit and a warm hand enveloping him carefully.

“Ahhh hy-hyung.” His cheeks were red; his eyes closed firmly and his head hit the door behind him. This was all new to him, he had never been with a guy before not even a girl and somehow he knew Eunhyuk was aware of it, it was embarrassing. For few seconds he thought if his boyfriend was also a virgin but quickly those thoughts flew out of his brain the moment Eunhyuk started to pump him.

They had never been this close, this intimate. Eunhyuk stopped his ministrations and Kyuhyun started to protest when he realized his hyung was undressing the rest of his clothes. Eyes glanced quickly behind the older boy, another blush covering his already red face. He realized he was still looking at his lover through the mirror, watching in amazement Eunhyuk's back all the way down to his feet. He was such a pervert.

“You're going to keep your clothes on?”

He should have answered nastily just to clean that smirk from Eunhyuk's face but he was for the first time in life out of words. Raising slowly he pulled the sweater off and dropped it near the white shorts and Calvin Klein briefs, his jeans followed soon after and he realized he wasn't feeling so shy anymore. His hands stopped over his boxers; the rapper was closer now his hands above Kyuhyun's ones and together they removed the last garment.

Their breaths were hot against their faces; Eunhyuk had his cheeks flushing with a light pink colour, his dolly like eyes were hypnotizing when he deliberately fell to his knees and slowly brushed the tip of his tongue over Kyuhyun's engorged head.

“Fuck!” Was all he could voice out when the older man mouthed him, taking Kyuhyun deeper and deeper until he was out of breath with his hands grabbing harshly Eunhyuk's shoulders and his legs shaking in the process. “Oh my fucking God...Hyukkie do-don't...” But his boyfriend wasn't listening or simply ignored him and next he knew he was coming all over Eunhyuk's mouth and face. His orgasm left him empty; trembling he fell in front of the other boy and it took him few minutes to realize what had happened. “Fuck,” He cursed again, his hand trying to at least clean his hyung's face a little but completely failing its mission. “I'm so sorry Hyukkie, I didn't want...it wasn't on purpose-”

“Shh,” His lover pressed a finger against his lips. “It’s okay baby...it's okay.” And Eunhyuk kissed him with hands around his neck and their hot bodies touching, skin against skin. The kiss was spicy and exotic to Kyuhyun's taste...he liked it...a lot.

Without realizing Kyuhyun was starting to take some initiate in their love making; the singer let his hands walk all over Eunhyuk's body, feeling his little muscles and sweaty skin. Loving the way the older responded to his touches, the loud moans and soft begging. He pushed Eunhyuk on the ground; staring right into his chocolate eyes he touched him just like he had been touched previously. He knew he was doing it right because Eunhyuk closed his eyes and started to vocalize his feelings...really loudly.

“You like it?”

“Ahh-ahh y-yes...”

“Good!” Smirking the singer kissed Eunhyuk's collarbone biting a little just to leave his mark. His hyung came sooner than he was expecting and he was a little disappointed because he wanted this to last longer, he wanted to make Hyukjae feel what he had felt.

Eunhyuk was breathing fast; his golden wet hair sticking to his face and neck made him look even more beautiful. Kyuhyun still had his hand covered in semen and later he would blame it all on his hyungs’ porn because this was not him thinking straight.

The dancer was starting to recover from his orgasm when he felt a finger press lightly against his opening. His eyes shot open in shock and the first thing he saw was Kyuhyun over him and looking so...devilishly hot!

“Kyu-Kyuhyun-ah!”

“I want to be inside you, I want to feel all of you...I want us to be one.” God why did their maknae look so hot when he was in control of the situation? Hyukjae didn't know but he was already completely surrendering to the maknae's wishes. Still...

“We don't have lube...it will hurt.” He was expecting to see maybe disappointment in the singer's face but what surprised him was the loving expression suddenly reaching to Kyuhyun's eyes.

“I don't want that.” He said tenderly kissing Eunhyuk's lips, his hand leaving that intimate and private place. The room was getting colder now that they stood still only looking at each other, caressing and trading kisses. Kyuhyun cleaned his hand on Eunhyuk's towel and they dressed themselves.

The dancer approached the CD player and instantly a ballad started playing in the background. He moved near his lover with Kyuhyun stretching his arms out, knowing only too well that the other would be seeking comfort in a tight hug.

Time stopped.

Two bodies were sitting against the dance studio's door with the lights out. The previous song had finished long time ago and the only sound now came from their steady breathings and Kyuhyun's humming.

Eunhyuk enjoyed listening to the maknae's voice since the first time he heard it. It was soothing making him feel at home wherever he was. He had never felt like this before; this feelings that were fastening crawling into his heart squeezing it tighter and tighter until Eunhyuk could only kiss Kyuhyun to be able to breathe again...what was he doing? Around this boy he didn't think, he reacted and a Lee Hyukjae without thinking was bad, really really bad.

“What are you thinking about?” The question came followed by a soft kiss over the temple and Eunhyuk's head pushed even closer to his boyfriend's shoulder.

“I'm thinking...that I'm actually hungry now.” Their laughs were suddenly interrupted when they felt the door being opened only to close again with their weight against it. They froze, Kyuhyun keeping Eunhyuk in place with his hug.

“Hyukkie?” They heard Donghae call from the other side. Kyuhyun sighed under his breath when the older man pushed him away gathering his things inside his bag with his back turned to him. Massaging his temples briefly the singer finally stood up and opened the door surprising both Donghae and Eunhyuk in the process. “What are you guys doing?” He asked them a little suspiciously with one eyebrow rising.

“Practicing, Hyukjae was helping me with the choreography.”

“But why are the lights out? And there's no music?” Damn why did Donghae have to choose this day to act smart of all times?

“The power went down, we were gathering our things because it's late and it will probably take another hour or so to return.” It was Eunhyuk who spoke this time surprising the maknae with the story told. He looked behind and smirked proudly to his lover.

“Let's go all together then.” Was Donghae's happy conclusion and he missed the exchanged look between his two friends.

*** ***

They were near the dorms now; Donghae spoke all the way home mostly to himself since neither Eunhyuk nor Kyuhyun were replying. Both boys were busy exchanging soft smiles and brief hand touches. Kyuhyun loved to see this shy, childish side Eunhyuk had every time they were out in public.

“We're here.” The younger Lee announced turning around to look at his friends. He caught sight of Eunhyuk laughing at something the maknae said and frowned. “Hey Hyukkie can I talk to you?” It was weird seeing his best friend freeze in place and the youngest of the three also suddenly stopping with a questioning look in his eyes. Donghae couldn't look into those eyes without blushing a little.

“Sure Hae, go on inside Kyu it's cold.” The maknae continued sending them strange looks but eventually made his way to the dorm leaving both boys alone. Donghae couldn't help but feel relieved for finally being alone with his Hyukkie. “What's going on? Are you ok?”

“Yeah I'm fine, I just wanted to talk.” Donghae knew Eunhyuk was never good with this kind of stuff, usually it was him venting out his life, heart and soul and the rapper picking up the pieces and filling in the puzzle. That's how it worked for them. “It's just...”

“What is it Hae? You know you can tell me anything, right?”

“Yeah...I'm just embarrassed.” That caught Eunhyuk by surprise, since when was Donghae embarrassed of anything?

“With what?”

“Hyukkie would you still like me if I told you something that is really wrong?”

“What? Hae what are you talking about? What's going on?”

“I...” Donghae grabbed the end of his big coat and Eunhyuk noticed his hands were trembling, he looked at his best friend and his heart broke a little when he saw tears stinging at the corner of his eyes and his teeth biting hard on the bottom lip to avoid sobbing. “I think I'm in love.”

He whispered and Eunhyuk stopped breathing because, damn he was supposed to talk to him before this...this shouldn't be happening now. Not this way. He couldn't turn Donghae down like this, stupid stupid he should have told him sooner 'Lee Hyukjae you big fat idiot'.

“With Kyuhyun.”

Wait, what? Had he heard wrong? Was his mind playing tricks on him now?

“I know he's younger and I know he's a guy and I know this will affect everyone in the group...I know all that and I tried to forget I feel this way because I know it's wrong but...Hyukkie,” Donghae was really sobbing now and his voice came out broken and unsteady. He seemed so scared and lost, like a little child. “I really do love him and I can't stand it anymore not telling anyone.”

Eunhyuk did the only thing he could do. He hugged his friend tightly, with one hand smoothing Donghae's hair and whispering at his ear 'it's alright, Hae it's alright' but deep down inside he knew it wasn't.

--------------------------
Author's Note: It's been so long since I last updated I'm so sorry *bows* blame it on my work xD
Actually I've been writing other fics -some I really need to update/finish and others I'm just starting because the plot suddenly came to mind^^- I'm almost finishing my KyuHyuk-Day fic with the theme Royalty (yeah I know I'm late T_T) so I hope I'll post it soon!
Thanks for the support and lovely comments, they always make my day eheh <33333

and because I can't seem to resist these two :)))

Kyu's evil smirk BUSTED!

Hyuk's hair is my new addiction *dies*

Eternity...

2011-08-03T17:31:40Z

Author: Slarya
Pairing: Blohyuk
Genre/Rating: Angst, PG-13
Warning: Characters death
Lenght: One-shot/Drabble

Summary: Tablo remembers his long-lost lover...
Author's Note: I wrote this like ages ago but I never uploaded it...I think it was written around the time Tablo got married LOL

ETERNITY...

I remember the times when we were happy.

Little memories from our life together, a life that was too short but even so, full of precious moments that will forever stay craved in my heart.

Do you also remember how we used to laugh together?

I look at this room once full of joy and smiles…it’s so quiet now. I never realized how much your simple presence illuminated my day, your bright smile used to be my favorite kind of personal energy, in a strange way you boosted me up.

Tell me Hyukjae are you happy? Did you find the peace you longed for?

Has it really been eight months since I last saw you?

Is God angry at you?

Do you remember our promise?

I still have the candles from that day, from our first birthday. I light them once in a while only to remember our vows, to keep them close to my heart.

That enchanted forest…

So wait for me Hyukjae, it won’t take long for us to finally have our happy ending.

Random stuff...

2011-08-03T15:43:58Z

Seriously I just have to spazz cause I simply find this to be sooooo precious!!!
Why is he so damn adorable???

ps: and I know many people don't like his hair...well I FREAKING LOVE IT <333333333333

Can you hear my heartbeat...Part II

2011-08-01T22:09:36Z

Author: Slarya
Pairing: Kyuhyuk
Genre/Rating: Angst/Romance, PG-13
Words: 1,761

Summary: Kyuhyun thought this was the most stupid thing he had ever done in his life...
Author's Note: I wanted to post this update last week but I was having problems uploading it to LJ...no idea why...anyway anyone else counting the days for "Mr Simple" mv??? ;D Can't wait to see the boys and my bias <333

The closing bump of the car's door woke him up. Kyuhyun rubbed the sleep from his eyes with a tired hand and glanced at his left in time to catch Yesung and Ryeowook picking up their bags and walking down to their dorm.

The recording had taken more time than they were expecting and it was almost two in the morning; Kyuhyun bid goodnight to their driver and lazily followed his hyungs inside. They all looked tired and sleepy when they reached the 11^th floor, Ryeowook unlocked the door and the lights in the foyer lighted up to greet the three tenants.

Kyuhyun dropped his stuff over his bed while Yesung and Ryeowook rushed to their own room, the older singer stating he needed a hot shower before sleeping. He traded his work-out clothes for a black sleeveless shirt and black loosed pants; now he could relax 'finally' he thought to himself and his mood started to improve even more when he realized he was the only one still awake -well not counting Yesung in the shower and Ryeowook probably getting ready to rest.

Bare feet touched the living room's floor silently, while a dark figure approached another division of the house where he clearly didn't belong. The door was softly pushed and a ray of light came into the darkness of the bedroom, illuminating portions of walls and the figure peacefully sleeping.

Kyuhyun closed the door on his back; he moved closer to his hyung's bed and kneeling down came face to face with his current lover. Eunhyuk slept unaware of the intrusion, his mouth a little open and sometimes mumbling incoherent things that sounded too much like food names to his ears. He chuckled softly with one hand over his mouth to silence the sound but even so his hyung must have heard him.

“Kyu?” Eunhyuk opened his eyelids and they stared at one another in the dark with only the faint moonlight to provide illumination. “What are you doing out there...it's cold.” The dancer pulled the blankets aside and moved against the wall clearly freeing some space beside him for the younger man to join him.

Kyuhyun was glad it was so dark because he was sure he had a terrible blush covering his whole face, he even felt the heat reach his ears. That didn't stop him though from quickly joining the other and he smiled when he felt the blankets cover his cold body...they could feel each other's breaths and their feet touched one another due to their closeness. The bed was narrow, Kyuhyun liked that.

“How was practice today?” Eunhyuk asked, his voice hoarse from sleep and his fingers pulling Kyuhyun's bangs aside to give him full view of his eyes. Kyuhyun melted at the touch and if he had been a cat he would have purred against those hands.

“It was fine.”

“Yeah I bet you were mean again to Mr. Kim.” The maknae had the decency to at least try and pretend he was in shock.

“It's not my fault if he fails terribly at what he does.” This wasn't actually true, their vocal teacher was one of the best in the industry and he was also a very dedicated person even if he had a terribly attitude. Kyuhyun had learned a lot from him over the years...well that was until the said teacher started giving a hard time to his hyungs – as to say Eunhyuk hyung.

Kyuhyun just couldn't stay still seeing the older man's rudeness directed at Eunhyuk. Especially when his favorite hyung was simply attempting to improve his singing ability...he had gone overboard last time demanding the dancer to keep it to rapping. The singer clearly remembered seeing the look of shock on Eeteuk's face while his lover bowed and apologized over and over again for something he shouldn't have to apologize.

So yes, he made point of clearly putting that man in his place every time they had lessons. That had brought him troubles with their manager but being the maknae and one of best vocalists in SM had to serve for something, right?

“Kyu,” Eunhyuk called all serious. “He's really a good teacher and you learned a lot from him over the past two years.”

“And that's why I'm repaying him now by also teaching him something of value to his future life.”

“Aish!” Was all the older boy could say to venture out his frustrations. Kyuhyun moved closer to his hyung with his hands and arms closing around a thin waist. His head dropped against Eunhyuk's shoulder and he inhaled that scent that was as much masculine as it was sweet. “What are you doing?”

“I have a big really big crush on you hyung...so what do you think I'm doing?” Coughing out loud Eunhyuk tried hard to suppress his body from reacting intensively to those words. He had no luck seeing how his briefs suddenly felt tighter than few seconds ago and was it just him or was the room getting hotter?

“We should sleep, we need to get up early.” His voice trembled and he heard the other laugh in the darkness of the room.

Kyuhyun started kissing Eunhyuk's neck, small imprints being left over the surface of the skin. He was addicted to this...this feeling of kissing and touching and belonging only to Eunhyuk and he knew it was mutual.

He loved those sounds Eunhyuk was making at the soft bites he was earnestly giving followed by one or two licks over hot skin; his left hand drifted from the back to the stomach, sliding up and under the garments the rapper was using and stopped over Eunhyuk's heart. It was beating fast and hard...so full of life and passion.

“You're going to make me insane...” The singer smirked at the spoken words, his hands settled on the other boy's neck and he saw lust and desire reflected in those deep brown eyes.

“Hyukjae...” His open mouth went forward and he was overjoyed to notice his hyung was mirroring his actions. They kissed hungrily and fast, there was no time or space to foreplay when they had been deprived from these touches for so long.

It was so much better than their first time kissing because there was no awkwardness any longer; they both wanted this, they both needed it and they both knew their hearts were synchronized about it.

After what seemed like hours and hours of kissing Kyuhyun put some space between them to take a good look at his lover; immediately Eunhyuk rolled on top of him surprising the boy. His hyung's eyes were dark, he had his mouth open and his chest moved up and down fast with the breathing. Kyuhyun felt the hardness against his crotch and his body involuntarily moved up, they both groaned at the sensation of their bodies touching each other right there.

“Fuck Hyukjae...just fuck!” Incoherent thoughts and images sped up through his brain; he started imagining doing things to the man above him that would make even Heechul blush in shame...well maybe not Heechul but definitely the rest of his friends would blush at the 'grown up' thoughts of their maknae. “You're a fucking tease.”

“And you have a very dirty mouth.” Eunhyuk replied trying to laugh and failing miserably when a hand cupped him over his trousers and then all hell broke loose.

Kyuhyun inverted their positions pushing the other down on the mattress with a little more strength than needed; they were breathing hard when their mouths met for a second time, their tongues fought and slid over one another and Eunhyuk couldn't help blushing over the intense stare of the other...Kyuhyun's eyes roamed all over his face even while kissing him.

Kyuhyun grabbed the other man's hips and forced them against his own, he just needed to feel that contact between their bodies again or else he would possibly die. Eunhyuk turned his head to the side and gasped, panting with eyes closed tightly and an expression that screamed sex over his features. 'He's so beautiful...and mine.'

He pressed the knees on each side of Eunhyuk's waist and went forward to hug the other. He nibbled at his neck feeling the vocal cords moving beneath his mouth and tongue thanks to Eunhyuk's guttural sounds. Call him a bastard but he loved knowing his hyung was this helpless because of him.

“Hey, look at me,” Eunhyuk called with his hands enveloping the maknae's face. “Whatever happens just know that I like you...I like you a lot Cho Kyuhyun.” He was left speechless. Kyuhyun had no idea what to say to this, he felt his heart tightening and one of his hands grabbed the sleeveless shirt over that spot, it hurt. “Come here...” Eunhyuk called once again; this time his voice sounded sweet as honey and even though Kyuhyun felt a little like a small kid he didn't think twice when his hyung stretched his arms out and full open, inviting him in.

“Whatever happens I won't ever let go of you.” It was his stubbornness speaking, he couldn't avoid feeling a little insecure after Eunhyuk's confession. They would have to eventually tell the others about their relationship and he wasn't sure how they would react.

He was the youngest of the group, an evil tongue he had but still he knew he was well loved by all of them, their precious maknae...and 'Hyukjae' he thought to himself while snuggling closer to his lover, feeling fingers drawing circles on his back...the dancer was the heart and soul of their big family but would that mean they would accept them within the group in the same way? Would their opinions...their love for them change if they knew Kyuhyuk -like the maknae liked to call themselves- were together as an item?

“Kyuhyunnie,” Brown eyes met chocolate ones; Kyuhyun rolled onto his back and the rapper attached himself to his torso's right side while pulling the blankets to cover their bodies. “I just need to tell him first before we speak to the others, ok?”

The 'no' was stinging at the tip of his tongue but he had already agreed to this. Eunhyuk wanted to speak to his best friend first even though it didn't make any sense to the singer why they had to explain it...but a promise was a promise.

He didn't say anything and Eunhyuk seemed to take his silence for consent, after few minutes he was again sleeping. Kyuhyun hugged his hyung hard with his face against soft ebony hair. He had a bad feeling about this but he sure hoped he was wrong.

Limit Line - Part II

2011-07-23T17:23:23Z

Author: Slarya
Pairing: Blohyuk
Genre/Rating: Angst/Romance, PG-13
Words: 2,628

Summary: He knew he had made the right choice, he was dying.There was no running from it...time was ticking..
Author's Note: It's been so long since I updated the first part *bows down* so sorry T_T

LIMIT LINE

Visits to the hospital had become a routine for the younger boy, he was used to it by now but his doctor had always been Dr. Cho. In Seoul his doctor was a small, bald man in his sixties. Hyukjae breathed in and out few times as instructed by the old man, then he pushed the sleeve of the sweat-shirt up and waited while the nurse took the necessary blood for new samples.

“If you start feeling dizzy let me know, I’ll grab something from the canteen for you to eat.” Hyukjae smiled at the nurse and nodded moving from his chair to sit on another one, facing his new doctor.

“Well there’s not much I can do without your blood results, although I would like to know why you’re not doing any chemotherapy or radiation treatments.”

“I started missing my old hair…I don’t look good when I’m bald.” The doctor eyed him for few seconds and smiled a gentle knowing smile. “You look great though.” He added and the older man laughed.

“I understand what you’re implying. You want to enjoy the time you have left.”

“My other doctor already explained everything to me, I know the risks.” There was a small pause between them before the doctor continued.

“Well then let’s get you better medication and then you can go.”

*** ***

If there was something Hyukjae loved was the warm sun touching his skin, the rays of light caressing his features as if they were the gentle touch of a lover’s hand. He smiled at the good weather and walked inside the coffee shop, dropping his bag on a near chair he expectantly looked around.

“Looking for me?” Yoochun chuckled at the startled face of the other, bending down he whispered near the boy’s ear. “I leave at six, if you want I can show you some nice places.”

Was he supposed to say yes? Well Yoochun was a very attractive man, beautiful and nice but Hyukjae had never been on a date before and he was quite nervous to simply accept the offer from an almost stranger.

“Don’t listen to that playboy.” Junsu smirked at his co-worker. “Chunnie likes to change boyfriends every week.”

“You say it like it’s a bad thing,” Yoochun’s hand pressed at the back of the other boy, his fingers lingering there more time than needed. “If you would let me I would show you how good it can be Susu-ah.” This was getting a little bit intimate; Hyukjae blushed at the suggestive tone in the husky voice and glanced outside the window, wishing he could somehow disappear.

“Park Yoochun you better take that hand away from my waist right now.” The other only smiled innocently and stepped away, retreating to the kitchen area. “He’s not a bad guy,” Junsu added when the older boy was out of sight, sitting on an empty chair. “He’s just horny and stupid.”

“You like him.” Hyukjae noticed, Junsu blushed and averted his eyes. “I know it’s not my business, I’m sorry if I upset you.”

“Nah its ok…I do like that idiot but let’s keep that between us, he needs no more reasons to act like a cocky bastard.” Hyukjae nodded. They remained in silence for a while and it felt comfortable. “Oh did you like the apartment? Tablo is cool, right?”

“You know him?”

“Yeah, he comes here often. He’s a writer, I guess he finds this place quiet enough and we do sell Seoul’s best coffee after all.” Something triggered inside him when he thought of his new roommate, Junsu could tell him more about the peculiar man.

“Can you tell me more about him; I mean I’m curious about the person I’m sharing a home with.” Junsu eyed him with a playful smile dancing on his lips while Hyukjae averted his gaze to the menu pretending to read it.

“He doesn’t have a girlfriend if you’re interested.”

“I’m not…I never said…this is…” Hyukjae tried his best to avoid the scrutiny but he felt it nevertheless and his face grew hot under the intense observation.

“Ah I knew it, you’re attracted to him!” Junsu seemed proud of his new discover, like he had somehow won the Olympic Games. “Don’t worry Tablo is a loner, he’s friends with one or two guys and us here but besides that there’s no one else.”

“I’m not trying to date him, he’s my roommate I’m just trying to know him a little better.”

“Right.” Junsu snorted. “Anyway, what brought you to Seoul?”

Of course the big question Hyukjae had tried to avoid answering. He had accepted his fate long time ago; he was prepared mentally and emotionally for the fact that his life was being cut short.

Maybe he would have one year to live, maybe only months or days but that didn’t mean he wanted to live seeing the pity looks on his friends’ faces, or hearing his mother cry when she thought he was sleeping. Those reactions only made him want to cry and beg God for another chance and he didn’t want to be weak again. He didn't want to go back to that cold, scary place inside his heart where there were no longer hope or light.

“Just wanted to travel a little and see the world, but I won’t be able to stay here for long if I can’t find a job.”

“I can help with that.” Junsu replied excitedly. “Our boss wanted to hire someone to work during the night shift and weekends. The money isn't much but I think it will cover for your rent and living expenses.”

“You really think he’ll hire me?” Something inside him jumped in happiness when hearing about it. It would be his first job ever.

“Of course, Teukie hyung is an amazing guy, he’ll like you I’m sure of it.” Hyukjae smiled at Junsu’s retreating form when the other was called by a costumer. His gaze fell over Yoochun and the way the man’s dark eyes were following Junsu’s steps. He felt his heart warm at the emotions displayed in that second of time their eyes met, lust and desire and something else a little more genuine was written all over it. Yoochun grinned, a mask covering quickly enough his thoughts and he turned around disappearing once again inside the kitchen.

*** ***

The pen kept rolling between the man’s fingers. Tablo passed one full hand through his hair, he was tired. It was getting late; he had missed dinner time and two phone calls from his mother.

He typed fast the last critic’s sentences, pressed save and sent it to the publishing department, done. Grabbing his jean jacket he quickly walked to the elevator of the floor, his mind going through each detail he might have missed to point out in the article.

The cold wind of the night hit him hard as soon as he left the building; one hand fastened the jacket up, closing down the front. Tablo turned left and went down the stairs to the subway.

He had been a little nervous all day long; Mithra had finally convinced him to perform in a gig next weekend. Now there was no turning back and he would have to finish the lyrics by the end of tomorrow night. It was no longer an aspiration of a dream waiting to be achieved...if he was getting his head into this then his heart would have to somehow follow it.

“Hey!” Tablo turned to look up at the eager voice from the boy standing at his front. He was so immersed in his own thoughts he didn't realize he was already at his stop, near home. Hyukjae smiled and handed him a plastic cup with what seemed to be coffee.

“Hey yourself,” Tablo took the offered drink and looked around. The neighborhood was quiet; it was almost one in the morning after all. “How did you know I was coming?”

“I didn’t,” An even bigger smiled pressed against the boy’s lips and Tablo noticed the bluish color tainting them…he didn’t point it out. “I was going home, stayed at the coffee shop to help Junsu closing it.”

“Ah.” They started to walk back home, Hyukjae sometimes running two steps forth to keep up with Tablo’s fast pace.

Stealing glances, between sips of cold coffee, Tablo tried to read the younger man’s mind or at least his body language. There was something about him that made the journalist uneasy. It was the first time he felt this confused about someone and he didn’t like it one bit.

Last night for example when they were watching TV and laughing at a silly commercial, he had almost almost reached forward to touch the hair falling over Hyukjae’s eyes and see if it really felt as soft as it seemed. After that moment passed he really felt like a sick pervert for noticing how attractive the boy was and how eager his body craved for one slight touch of warm skin.

This was something completely new to him and out of context. To feel the need to touch someone as deeply as he was feeling regarding this boy...and to feel all this so fast with only few days of knowing each other, it was wrong. He knew that much, besides he had never been interested in guys.

Hyukjae caught him starring and flashed his usual bright smile, stepping over his own foot and almost landing on the floor. He laughed awkwardly, flushing all shades of possible red and Tablo allowed himself to fondle the boy’s hair for almost five seconds, it really was cotton candy soft.

They remained in silence, this time Tablo concentrating his eyes on the road at his front, trying hard to keep up his cool appearance and more important, trying hard not to step over his own feet because he definitely wouldn’t look adorable, like a certain someone, while doing it.

*** ***

Bending over the toilet Hyukjae tried hard to keep the noise as low as possible. The headache was a lot stronger than last time; he felt the nausea coming and the involuntary impulse to vomit seconds after. His stomach was emptied of the last particle of food and he rested for few minutes before composing his clothes and brushing his teeth.

His face in the mirror seemed to mock him back as he starred hard at his reflection; sweat ran over his skin, under his sweatshirt leaving chills all over his body.

"I don't wanna die" He muttered softly but quickly pushed the thought out of his mind. Composing himself again he finally left the bathroom and walked back, silently, into his room.

*** ***

It had been almost two months since Hyukjae had reached Seoul for the first time. He started to work at the coffee shop and immediately he gained precious friends. Junsu was the closest one with his witty personality and genuine care, Hyukjae felt he had a real brother in the slightly younger man.

Yoochun had surprised him, after getting to know him he realized how fragile the boy really was and how much he craved for someone to love and to truly love him back. Another good friend and mentor had materialized in the form of his own boss, Eeteuk. His soft side together with his wise advices were a bridge of support; he could always count on the older man.

Hyukjae was indeed happy he was finally living life to its fullest without any restrainment or doubts. Only a problem remained and threatened to crush his perfect world: Tablo.

The journalist was an intense man and Hyukjae didn't know how to deal with it. He was starting to reach a new level of insanity; one minute Tablo was fine, talking to him about an article he was writing or lyrics for a song he was composing, the next one he was screaming at the youngest for touching his arm while grabbing a cup of coffee or getting "too close" while watching TV together in their living room.

This was definitely one of those bad days, Tablo was in a bad mood and he was pissed...that was evident by the way his hand was almost crushing the pen it was holding. So he retreated to his own room, he thought of cleaning it or simply sleeping so he wouldn't disturb his roommate more than the necessary and consequently get shout at.

"Can I get in?" Hyukjae heard the voice ask from the other side of the wooden door and blinked in surprise. Without waiting for a reply Tablo opened the door; he had one of his hands scrubbing the back of his neck, his eyes were for few seconds cast over the floor but quickly moved to fix on Hyukjae's features. "I'm sorry for last night. I was in a really bad mood but I had no right to snap at you."

"It's ok." Hyukjae mumbled, his heart slightly jumping in happiness at the earnest apology.

"No, no it's not. I was an ass, I've been acting like a jerk with you this last couple of weeks and you have all right to be mad at me..." Tablo slowly approached Hyukjae's bed and a small smile reached the corner of his mouth. "I just hope you're not, mad I mean. I care about you, you're a nice kid and...Yeah I do care, so I'm sorry."

It was surprising to hear this; it was even more surprising when Hyukjae rose from his seat on the bed to press a light kiss against Tablo's cheek. They both blinked at one another not fully aware of the energy that was quickly changing around them.

"I guess my apology was accepted?" Tablo asked in a low voice, his left hand moving and letting the top of his fingers caress Hyukjae's sleeveless arm. They both felt the electricity of the touch, the blast of energy generated by the small contact.

They didn't know who made the first move, they didn't really care either. Their mouths connected awkwardly at first but the initial fear and doubt was cast aside and soon they were both immersed in one another.

There was almost no time to breathe between hot kisses; Hyukjae found himself pressed over the top of his blankets with Tablo hungrily kissing his mouth, his cheeks, his neck...Tablo was everywhere leaving the boy breathless and intoxicating his senses with desire.

He felt hands roaming other his clothed chest, his own hands after seconds of hesitation moved to grab strands of black hair, to touch slices of soft skin...he realized he was indeed falling for this awkward and yet precious human being.

For the first time in his life he wanted someone...this person standing on top of him to see him, the real Lee Hyukjae. He wanted to share his thoughts and life with this man, he wanted to laugh and cry and support Tablo...he wanted this happiness to last forever...but he didn't have forever.

Tears started to flow freely through his face and soon enough Hyukjae was desperately crying. Tablo immediately stopped and slightly rose to look at the young man.

"Did I hurt you?" A negative shake of the head, crying eyes hiding behind shaking hands. Tablo remained silent, he moved up to sit on the bed and pulled Hyukjae with him to the safety and warmth of his arms.

They hugged for a long time, Hyukjae knew that because the sun had already crossed the skyline and disappeared giving place to the faint moonlight. Tablo didn't seem to care, he stayed longer than needed and many hours after Hyukjae stopped crying he was still there with the boy sleeping against his chest.

He never left.

Can you hear my heartbeat...Part I

2011-07-19T18:02:07Z

Author: Slarya
Pairing: Kyuhyuk
Genre/Rating: Angst/Romance, PG-13
Words: 1,753

Summary: Kyuhyun thought this was the most stupid thing he had ever done in his life...
Author's Note: So the first chapter is here...I want to thank you all for the lovely comments and support, you girls rock! :))

Kyuhyun dropped his bag on the floor while gazing over the rest of the group; he was tired from the flight back home and the previous months of hard work. Coming back to Korea after so long away between activities and promotions in China and Taiwan, he was simply in need of a good night’s sleep and warm bed.

His hope of that actually happening was soon crushed when an over-reacting Eeteuk burst through their dorm’s front door pulling with him a seemingly drunk Shindong and loud Heechul. The peace and quietude Kyuhyun longed for was lost. He sighed under his breath, his hands brushed against tired eyes and he could already feel a small headache forming at the back of his neck ‘great’ he thought to himself in dismay.

“Hey,” he felt a soft hand closing over his wrist and pulling his arm along way. He had only time to grab his bag from the floor and soon enough found himself inside a room. “You can rest here, I’ll tell the others you’re sleeping.” And with that Eunhyuk left the bedroom closing the door on his way out.

Kyuhyun looked around with his eyes scanning the walls and furniture of the new division. This was definitely Eunhyuk’s bedroom. He was after all the only member with a room for himself; Kyuhyun was still trying to figure it out how in hell that had happened, especially after he had fought so long for just a simple bed of his own. He glanced for few seconds at the now closed door but was too tired to actually try to understand his band mate behavior.

With steady movements he unpacked his personal belongings, brushed his teeth, changed to his boxers and white t-shirt and eagerly got inside Eunhyuk’s bed. For a moment he almost felt the presence of the older man beside him, his head was pressed against a soft pillow and he could perceive the scent from Eunhyuk’s vanilla shampoo on it…‘stop’ he demanded from his brain and soon enough darkness was all around.

“That’s good; you can come out now Kyuhyun.”

The singer walked outside the recording room and approached Yesung who was standing at the other side of the room. Backing against the wall he accepted a bottle of water and took a long sip of it. The crystalline liquid was cold, refreshing the soared walls of his throat when passing through them, he felt some drops run along his neck and disappearing inside his black sweater.

The mood was good today; everyone was enjoying themselves while recording some tracks for their new album. Kyuhyun was pleased with the out coming of the recording session of the day, his voice had been perfect and polished and he was indeed proud of it.

“Eunhyuk you’re next!”

Kyuhyun’s head snapped involuntarily at the call as if he had some strings pulling his hair to move him in the direction of that name. His slightly older team mate was laughing at some inside joke shared by him and Donghae while walking over to the recording room. Eunhyuk was always like that, a face and heart of a big kid but whenever he stepped inside a studio or a stage he would completely transform himself into an artist, a perfectionist.

Many people from the outside and even some from the company had no idea how hardworking Eunhyuk actually was. He always tried his best when it came to his music and especially his dance, for him there was no room available for failure even though he demonstrated the opposite to the public opinion.

Kyuhyun remembered the first time he saw those big brown eyes filled with disappointment, he remembered clearly how surprised he was to see Eunhyuk –the always happy gummy smile Eunhyuk- storm outside the studio with big fat tears threatening to fall across his face.

He remembered Eeteuk preventing him for following the other ‘he’s just having a rough day…the vocal teacher isn’t making it easy for him, let him be’ yes he remembered all that and that much was simply enough for him to admire the older boy. Eunhyuk who never showed his back to a new challenge, Eunhyuk who never complained even when he was being made fun of and simply stood there with his sunshine smile plastered on his face...

He clicked his tongue at the image displayed before his eyes, Donghae outside the recording room making funny faces at his best friend and trying to make the other laugh. The dancer ignored it all like a pro and started the recording.

Donghae must have been bored by the time he realized his jokes were being fruitless and soon moved closer to the two singers with a big smile gracing his lips.

“So hyung did you miss us?” Yesung glanced from his magazine readjusting his glasses.

“Not at all, it was so quiet while I was at the dorm.”

“Liar! Hyukkie told me you phoned him twice complaining we left you all alone and you even cried once.” Donghae laughed at the embarrassing look on his hyung’s face. His arms came around Kyuhyun then and he pouted when the maknae tried to shake him off. “And you’re such a boring friend lately Kyuhyunnie, you’re no fun.”

“I simply don’t understand why you have to be always touching people and hugging, it’s annoying.” Kyuhyun didn’t want to sound like a jerk but the last couple of days he hadn’t been able to spend quality time alone with Eunhyuk and all that thanks to the person now looking at him as if he had grown two heads.

“Look who got up on the wrong side of the bed.” Heechul snorted with a sly smile gracing his, as always perfect, features. “Or should I say on the wrong bed.” Kyuhyun gagged on the sip he was taking of his water and coughed loudly, his heart skipping a beat when he looked at his hyung and confirmed that the other was indeed grinning. Heechul then proceeded to mouth very slowly Hyukjae-ah and winked at the blushing man.

So his most dangerous and vicious hyung was aware of his feelings, how that came to happen he was not sure. The only intimate physical contacted between him and Eunhyuk had been in Taiwan, after that they had kept a low profile even inside the dorms and more importantly around the members.

Yes, there were times –in fact many times- when he just couldn’t stay still and one hand had found soft fingers and closed in on it, or times when he couldn’t just keep his smile to himself after looking at the adorable person by his side…but all that had seem pretty innocent to him at the time. And besides Heechul was not together with them in China and Taiwan to see this kind of things...right? Was his hyung a mind reader as well? He wouldn't be surprised if that came up to be true.

Did anyone else noticed? Any of the staff members of even from the group? Had Heechul spread the news like the gossip girl he was? ‘Stay calm’ he reminded himself, there was no way Heechul had opened his mouth or else he had probably faced the wrath of some of his friends by now.

“Oh you didn't sleep well tonight Kyu?” A cold hand pressed against his forehead and Donghae tilted his head to the side wondering if the maknae had fever. “You seem to be ok...do you want me to go get you some food?”

“I'm fine hyung, sorry for snapping at you.” Donghae smiled gorgeously at him and Kyuhyun couldn't help smiling in return. It was so easy to forgive anything and everything to this hyung because he was so genuine. There was no malice in Donghae's heart he was pure to the core. Kyuhyun kind of envied that.

“Hae it's your turn, they want to record it before we go for lunch.” Eunhyuk smiled at his best friend when they passed each other, Donghae pinching his left cheek in the process and giggling like a little mischievous boy. The older man simply pouted pretending to be resentful and moved next to the maknae of the group.

Kyuhyun saw from the corner of his eyes his hyung sitting on the floor next to him, back against the wall. It were simple moments like these that made it hard for him to pretend they were just friends. Eunhyuk looked so good with his white baggy shorts and tight red sweatshirt, his hair a little disheveled after those perfect hands had finished passing through it.

“How did it go?” He asked out of curiosity but mostly wanting to get Eunhyuk's attention to himself.

“I improvised a little at the end, we'll have to see how it mixes with Shindong's rap to see if we need to record it again or not.” And there it was, Eunhyuk focused only in him. How could Kyuhyun express his feelings without sounding like a teenage girl that is about to have her first kiss? Eunhyuk's smile, Eunhyuk's voice, Eunhyuk's eyes...he was at loss of coherent thoughts simply drowning in those blissful seconds where they belonged only and exclusively to one another.

“I miss you.” The dancer smiled shyly at the confession with his eyes crinkling at the edge and Kyuhyun couldn't have loved him more than at that moment even if he had tried to.

“I'm right here.” Eunhyuk replied, right hand covering his mouth while the left one moved softly to enclose Kyuhyun's own hand. “But I miss you too.”

Their hands said all the things that couldn't be said out loud; Kyuhyun felt his hyung's fingers softly brushing over his palm lines, gently traveling north and south discovering not so old cuts from previous dance lessons.

“Aish I'm so hungry...when can we go for lunch?” Eunhyuk pushed Kyuhyun's hand away as if he had been suddenly burned and gave space between them for their hyung to sit. “Yah Hyukjae you want to practice our dance routine later?” The dancer didn't even have time to open his mouth, Kyuhyun beat him to.

“I seriously miss our time in China.”

“Eh why?” Asked a confused Shindong while tying his shoe laces.

“Because there were less people interrupting my playtime.” The maknae stood up to his full height, stared hard at his older hyung and Eunhyuk could have sworn he saw laser beams coming out of his eyes before he turned around and left.

His exit was quite dramatic with the door closing harshly on his back. Eunhyuk had to give him props for that.

“What did I do?!!”

Can you hear me heartbeat... Prologue

2011-07-18T22:23:14Z

Author: Slarya
Pairing: Kyuhyuk
Genre/Rating: Angst/Romance, PG-13
Words: 693

Summary: Kyuhyun thought this was the most stupid thing he had ever done in his life...
Author's Note: My first Kyuhyuk fic yey I love these two sooooooo much and there's not enough Kyuhyuk around, let's spread some love shall we? ;)

Kyuhyun thought this was the most stupid thing he had ever done in his life. It was even more absurd then when he tried to join the cooking class on high school –just because cooking was supposed to be easy for someone as smart as he was- and that had revealed itself a pretty ridiculous decision on his part.

No, this was something that could -cross that- would completely change his life…his members’ life. He knew he was being selfish, a big part of his inner mind was actually regretting taking the first step, but he had wanted to do it for so long…oh for how long had he craved for a simple touch, a small brush of lips…and at that time his strength had collapse and there was nothing rational in his actions when he pinned the other against the studio’s door savagely kissing full lips that surprisingly enough had kissed him back after the initial shock.

Eunhyuk moaned when Kyuhyun dared push his tongue past his lips, the singer could taste the fresh soda there and he smirked when Eunhyuk’s hands trembled on his waist. “You like that hyung?” He murmured seductively, mouth kissing Eunhyuk’s neck and leaving small red marks across the white skin.

“We shouldn’t…ah! Kyuhyunnie we shouldn’t…” Eunhyuk couldn’t think straight. It was too much to feel in few minutes, too many emotions and doubts and he simply couldn’t think…why? Why were they doing this? This would hurt him so much and still even if he knew that he simply couldn’t stop kissing, touching, feeling the younger man.

The air around them was heavy with a hint of moist, calmness before storm his mother used to say. Kyuhyun could relate to the feeling, outside he seemed so sure of himself so in control but inside his heart was beating as fast as a bomb that is about to explode.

All he could think and feel were those hands, those slender fingers gently and maybe a little unsure holding onto him. And those lips…oh those lips would be the death of him, he wanted to taste them until the last of his days on Earth.

The necessity for breathing finally broke them apart. Kyuhyun pushed his body closer to his hyung, hands locking around Eunhyuk’s waist firmly. His forehead pressed against a similar one in an intimate moment with only the sound of fast breathing being heard.

“I’ve dreamed for so long about this…having you finally just for myself, being able to caress you like this.” His right hand traveled north through cotton shirt and jean jacket, warm fingers tangled themselves with brownish hair.

“Kyuhyun-ah!” Eunhyuk murmured closing his eyes at the touch. “We can’t…I really can’t.”

“Hyukjae,” The dancer’s eyes opened at the seriousness of his name, at the passion that was put into saying it and what he saw reflected on the maknae’s eyes scared him more than he would ever admit. “I'm not doing this on a whim, even though it was sudden I wanted to do it for a long time now. I thought about it over and over again and the conclusion is still the same...I care for you.” Kyuhyun's fingers brushed against the skin on Eunhyuk's right cheek. “Please don't end whatever this is before it's even started.”

The room fell silent after the spoken words; Eunhyuk diverted his glance to the ground not daring to look up into those dark eyes that could read him so well, his hands still holding onto a slim waist as if they hadn’t realized he could let go now.

Kyuhyun surprised him once again with a kiss at the top of his head; this side of the singer was so surreal…so gentle, so caring and so protective even though he was younger by two years. Without noticing he moved closer to Kyuhyun’s warmth, his head falling against a soft chest and his eyes closing at the touch of arms surrouding him.

“Let’s just stay like this for a while, please.” He whispered and knew Kyuhyun agreed when he felt the hold around him tightened and then it was only the two of them with the world closed on the other side of the door.

Limit Line - Part I

2011-05-07T18:06:45Z

Author: Slarya
Pairing: Blohyuk
Genre/Rating: Angst/Romance, PG-13
Words: 2,495

Summary: He knew he had made the right choice, he was dying.There was no running from it...time was ticking..
Author's Note: I was supposed to post "War Times" but my laptop crushed and the fic was lost. I'm in the middle of re-writting it with my notes (good I keep an update on my notebooks^^)...this one is something I started a year ago but never thought of posting so it stayed in one of my drawers until now...lets see if I have inspiration to finish it :)

LIMIT LINE

Brown eyes stared in fascination as white snowflakes fell from the sky, hands opened to receive their cold touch as they melted against the skin. The initial attraction started to fade away and the boy looked around, he couldn’t see his older sister anymore.

There were many grownups passing by without noticing the young child apparently alone in the middle of the street. The boy sat in a bench near the park where he had early played with his sister and brother and waited for them.

“Are you lost?” Another kid asked, he was older and taller but also skinny and awkward. “You can’t speak?” He asked again, one eyebrow rising in suspicion. “Oh your mom told you not to speak to strangers.”

The smallest of the boys nodded and smiled when the other grinned.

“I’m Sunwoong and I’m eleven years old, which makes me your hyung so you can trust me and tell me your name, ok?”

“Hyukkie and I’m five years old.”

“Hyukkie why are you here alone?” Hyukjae glanced at his feet, blushing. Some tears started to fall from his eyes when the words came out of his mouth.

“I was playing with noona but I-I saw white balls falling from the sky and I wanted to play with them…now noona is gone.”

“Shh don’t cry.” Sunwoong hugged the child and petted his head. “I’ll stay with you until they come and get you.”

Hyukjae fell asleep with the older boy’s arms around his body, he felt safe. He woke up hours later, his mother’s smile telling him they were already in the train and going back home.

The ride was made in silence only disturbed occasionally by Hyukjae’s small cries for not saying good-bye to his new friend.

*** ***

The sun was warm; the streets were confusing and noisy. Hyukjae’s eyes were lost in a sea of busy bodies; men and women walked fast -sometimes ran- on their way to their job, on their way to take the children to school, he had never seen so many people gathered at one place. Well he had seen some but that was long time ago during the summer festivals at his small town, in the countryside. You couldn’t really compare it to Seoul’s human traffic.

He grabbed his backpack and threw it over the shoulder; the other hand pushed his shades on before grabbing the heavy suitcase and he walked among the citizens. First he needed to find an apartment, a cheap one since he wasn’t loaded in cash, then he needed to find a job and he sure hoped for it to be a fast search.

Hyukjae pulled off, from his jeans pocket, a small piece of paper with few numbers and addresses on it; his first stop was at a bank to retrieve some money, after that he would be ready to begin his hunt.

Hours passed by fast and when he noticed one entire morning and partial afternoon were lost, just searching for a good place to live. All the houses he had seen so far were either too expensive or too dubious. The boy dropped the bags and sat on a bench, the hot sun burning above his head; he was starting to feel slightly nauseous, the sandwich eaten few hours ago together with milkshake were probably a mistake.

Hyukjae’s head dropped against his hands, “Breathe, breathe, breathe.” This was something the doctor had taught him, it helped the body relax and regain control. He was not sure how long he had been sitting there but he knew it was late, the sun was almost setting in the horizon and he still needed a place to pass the night.

With all the strength he had left he raised his body and grabbed his bags; the feet seemed so heavy, the vision was getting blurry but he really needed to keep walking…finally, after turning around the corner of a street, a small coffee shop was visible, Hyukjae walked inside the store and slumped down on one of the couches. His aching legs resented the distance he had walked just now; every single cell of his body hurt, the sweat ran over the skin of his face and neck and his stomach growled, resenting the poor care he had been treated with all day long.

“Welcome, how can I help you sir?” Hyukjae turned his head up and stared at the young boy. He was tall and handsome, with an easy smile and funny voice. “Yoochun come here, I think this costumer isn’t feeling well!” The same boy said in his high pitched voice; Hyukjae didn’t understand why the other was almost in panic until he noticed the blood on his shirt.

“Oh…” He grabbed some napkins and cleaned his face and nose. “I’m fine; I just had too much sun.” Another man approached him; he was handsome with beautiful chocolate eyes, salient cheeks and rosy lips. Hyukjae blushed and looked down embarrassed with his appreciation for the other.

“Are you ok? I can call a doctor if you’re not feeling well.” The voice was husky and low and left Hyukjae even more uncomfortable.

“I’m fine, really. Can I get a glass of water please?”

“Yeah, I’ll be right back.” He was left alone with the initial boy who glanced at him with curiosity.

“You sure you’re ok?”

“Yes, I’m really ok thank you for your kind concern.” The other nodded still not convinced and left disappearing inside the kitchen area.

This was bad, sure he was tired of walking all day long without much food on his stomach, but still his body shouldn’t react this way, not unless…not unless the disease had developed into another stage. That would explain why the medication wasn’t working anymore. It had been one month since his last check-up, maybe he should go to the hospital, just to be sure.

“Here you have, can I get you anything else? You look quite pale.” Yoochun was back with the glass of water and a sandwich; he smiled a playful grin.

“No, no thank you. How much is it all?”

“This one is on me, you can pay the next time you come visit us.” Hyukjae turned red at the words and mumbled thanks before grabbing his food. The bread was soft and pretty much yummy or maybe that was his tummy’s way of telling him it had been starving all day long, nevertheless it tasted really good and he finished it fast.

Feeling a little better he took his time observing the surrounds; the café was small and cozy, the aroma of strong coffee filled the air bringing a nostalgic aura to his mind. He remembered his father’s coffee shop and the time he spent there, learning about all different kinds of coffee flavors, how to brew them to make it taste stronger or softer, sweeter or bitterer.

A sign posted in one of the windows behind him called his attention; walking past few costumers he took the poster in a soft movement and stared at it for few minutes.

Looking for a roommate to share a two bedroom apartment. Must be a clean working professional or mature student. Shared kitchen, laundry, bathroom and living room. Bedroom with bed, dresser, color TV, also has high speed internet available.

For more information contact the number below,

xxx-xxxx-xxx

Pulling his mobile phone from the pocket he clicked the numbers, after few moments a man’s voice answered.

“Damn it Mithra I told you I would be sleeping all day long, what do you want now?”

Hyukjae was a little bit shocked to tell the truth but something in the man’s voice spiced his curiosity, now he really wanted to see the apartment and even more the owner.

“Eh, I’m sorry for interrupting sir, I’m calling because of an add…”

“Ah shit…I mean yeah the apartment….”

“…yes, I was wondering if I could still see it today, maybe?”

The other man didn’t sound pleased with the offer, Hyukjae recalled the sleeping all day long part and felt a little bad about it.

“I’m sorry for being impolite about this, but you see I’ve got to town today and I still haven’t found a place to sleep. I was sitting at a coffee shop and saw the poster…”

“Oh you’re near the apartment then, just turn your left and follow the street till the end. You’ll find a small complex with four flats I’m on the last one.”

*** ***

Hyukjae wasn’t really prepared for this, he felt as if he was going to be interviewed by the bride’s father. It was in his nature; ever since he was a kid he had always had this shy attitude towards the world. That never quite left him even in his adulthood, it made things ten times harder that his cheeks tended to blush every time someone looked at him, or complimented him, or simply asked him for the newspaper he had finished reading while riding the bus…he felt that he would even blush if someone told him he would be beaten up, because well he would technically be in the middle of attention.

So that was how the owner of the apartment found him, blushing and sweating, not a good combination.

“Good evening.” The boy politely said and bowed a little. The other man smirked at him; he was almost Hyukjae’s height, the baggy clothes he was wearing were all worn out but strangely enough they fitted well on the man. His black Harry Potter glasses and bed hair made Hyukjae breathe out in relief; the guy seemed nice and normal enough after all.

“Come on in, I’m sorry but I only have coffee to offer you or beer.”

“Ah no thanks.” The other nodded while serving himself of the hot black coffee.

“Please sit. My name’s Tablo and you are…”

“Hyukjae, Lee Hyukjae. Nice to meet you sir.” Tablo smiled and shook Hyuk’s hand.

“Tablo is just fine, no need for the sir thing. Makes me feel even older.” The boy smiled his gums visible along with the white teeth. “So you want to see the place?”

“Yeah I’m really dying to see it.”

“Come along then.”

*** ***

Stretching his arms above the head, Hyukjae let out a small sigh. Looking around the room his smile brightened; Tablo’s place was quiet and welcoming, he had done the right choice to call that number.

The room was simple and clean, he had a bed, a wardrobe and a desk, plus the rent was pretty cheap considering all the other places he had previously checked. Pulling the blankets aside he walked until he was facing the big window, hands opened the curtains letting the warm sun of spring in, to warm his new private space.

There was a buzz in the air, looking behind he saw his cell-phone vibrating against the nightstand’s wood; it was his mom again and he really didn’t want to deal with it, not today. Unfortunately that reminded him of his medication.

“Need to go to the hospital today.”

*** ***

Leaning against the rooftop sill, Tablo leaned his head back letting the sun wash over his skin. He loved this place, hidden from everyone but at the same time still connected to the world down there. The good thing about living in this complex was the luck he had to own the last floor and consequently the rooftop access.

He had to think about what to do. Writing for the column of the local newspaper wasn’t paying as much as he would like to, that made him want to accept Mithra’s offer to start rapping at the bar downtown. It was tempting, he Mithra and their friend Tukutz clicked well together, they had ideas and enthusiasm but it was still a risk…was he ready to let go of his “safe” job and hunt for something that could possibly go very wrong?

The faint sound of broken glass brought his spirit back to earth, glancing below he heard the voice of his new roommate coming from the open window.

“You’re so stupid Lee Hyukjae, not even one full day in here and already breaking the man’s stuff…you’re going to get kicked out in no time.”

Tablo chuckled; the apartment had been lonely after his girlfriend moved out. Apparently he wasn’t ambitious enough and apparently he wasn’t caring enough, isolating himself many times not allowing anyone to get near him. He closed inside his own cocoon maybe to protect himself, maybe to challenge himself or maybe both.

Still it felt good to hear another human’s voice inside his house and Tablo had to admit, the boy was nice. His shy nature had captivated the older man more than he would like to admit, because Tablo was a guy and to say he found the boy cute and endearing as his first impression wasn’t very normal or cool.

“I made us breakfast, you want some?” Hyukjae was standing there using a baby blue apron over his clothes, with a big smile plastered on his face. Tablo thought for a moment how the boy had known this was his secret place but decided it didn’t really matter.

“Sure.”

*** ***

Brain tumor.

Those two words were part of Hyukjae’s life since he was fifteen. He was playing soccer with his friends, trying to achieve the title of best juvenile player of the year. It was one of his dreams to become a worldwide soccer player, to be able to join his favorite team in England and play for the Red Devils.

The first symptoms showing that something wasn’t ok with him appeared at his most important game of the season, everything had been fine until darkness took control of his vision; he had woken up hours later in a hospital bed, his parents and doctor gave him the news, he had a malignant brain tumor located in the cerebrum and he needed to start treatment right away.

From his fifteen years old until his twentieth birthday he had followed the doctor’s advice; surgeries, radiation therapies, chemotherapy, supportive care just name it, he had done it all. There was a time his parents thought he would make it; he had also believed…but it was just an illusion.

Waiting in the hospital room, Hyukjae remembered those past years. He knew he had made the right choice, he was dying. There was no running from it, he had accepted it; his destiny had been crossed long time ago.

Now he just wanted to enjoy the rest of the time he had left, he wanted to live his life as a normal person…he was tired of all the treatments, all the drugs filling his blood and weakening his body…and that was why he had left his hometown.

“Mr. Lee Hyukjae, this way please.” Following the nurse through the white corridor, Hyukjae couldn’t avoid the cold shiver trespassing his body.

Time was ticking.

Coming Soon!

2011-03-09T19:40:29Z

WAR TIMES

Year 2051, Earth is at war. An emergency state is finally declared, Naturals and Coordinators fight against each other. The annihilation of one of the species or even both seems like a plausible scenario considering the recent events.

Destruction spares none be it men or women, young adultes or infants it doesn't matter, you're not safe. Time for smooth talks and false hope is lost. Chose your side: Naturals or Coordinators. There's no other way in this battle if you want to survive...at least not yet...

*** *** *** ***

This will be an AU! the idea came after I re-watched the popular Anime "Gundam Seed", so yes it's based on it but it will be very different from the anime :)
I was watching the series and I thought to myself...well why not? Kyuhyun would be a very HOT Coordinator xDDD

Here's a little info that might be interesting to understand the characters:

Naturals: Normal Humans. Their army is called "Earth Alliance" and they reside on Earth.

Coordinators: are genetically enhanced human beings who possess a number of enhanced traits, including faster learning and stronger and faster bodies that are virtually immune to diseases. They are physically and mentally superior to baseline normal humans. Coordinators are feared and hated by normal humans. Hatred and envy of Coordinators stem from their superior abilities.
Their military force is called ZAFT (Zodiac Alliance of Freedom Treaty) and they reside on Space Colonies.

The Resistance: A small group of Naturals who operate in the backgrounds. Most come from small farms and colonies destroyed by either Earth Alliance or ZAFT forces.

Main Characters:

Lee Hyukjae aka Eunhyuk

Micky Yoochun

Cho Kyuhyun

Lee Donghae

Daniel Lee aka Tablo

Love me...

2011-03-05T20:57:18Z

Author: Slarya
Pairing: Hyuksu
Genre/Rating: Angst/Romance, PG-13
Words: 3,861
Length: One-Shot

Summary: Hyukjae and Junsu share a lifetime of knowing each other but is it enough to simply stay friends?
Notes: It's a long time since I last posted something or even wrote anything, so sorry if this isn't exactly a work of art ^^ I'm craving for Hyuksu and Kyuhyuk lately...maybe my next project will have some Kyuhyuk love around :)

LOVE ME...

Hyukjae pulled the camera from the inside of a blue backpack, he checked the film and lens and few seconds later the soft click of its trigger could be heard.

The old camera had been a present from his already deceased mother; his father frequently joked he had inherited his mother’s talent and passion for pictures. He thought the words had a hint of truth in them; he loved taking pictures trapping little moments of life inside the boxlike device forever and ever. In a strange way it made him feel powerful, a way to controlling time and make it stop…on another way it served as an excuse to hide from other students.

Lee Hyukjae wasn’t the most popular kid in University, in fact his presence was pretty much unnoticed for most of the time. No one cared about the brown haired boy with skinny jeans and oversized jerseys, the apparently wannabe dancer that usually tripped over his own feet.

If for some reason people did notice him it was during those rare occasions where Junsu sat next to him, bringing legions of fangirls and even fanboys glued to his shoes in jealousy. Usually that happened two or three times a month when Junsu was broke and in need of a Good Samaritan who would pay for his lunch.

Xiah Junsu, the most popular kid in school and also Hyukjae’s kindergarten friend. That was an unknown fact in campus, it was almost an unwritten rule that separated their worlds…cool kids would hang around with also cool kids, weirdoes like Hyukjae would just be left alone to be…well weirdoes.

It was not that Junsu purposely avoided his childhood friend, most of times Hyukjae was the one pushing the other out of his life. Junsu was smart and kind, his laugh and jokes brightened everyone’s mood like a summer’s day in the middle of winter, while Hyukjae’s simple presence in the room brought whispers associated to loud mockery every single time his feet collided with something invisible on the ground.

Baby blue colored the sky in this autumn school’s day, Hyukjae pushed his finger down clicking few more times before turning his back to the shadow walking his way and shooting cotton clouds instead. His heartbeat increased with the almost silent steps from behind, steps that stopped once they were standing right next to the boy.

Junsu kneeled down, his smiling face brushed against the camera’s lens, his tongue out and making fun of the slightly older man. He knew perfectly well how annoying Hyukjae thought he was when acting childishly but he did it anyway.

“You’re blocking the camera.”

“Isn’t my face prettier than whatever it is you’re shooting?”

“No, you’re ugly now move.” Always the same bickering, always the same questions and poisoned answers. Nothing would change because Hyukjae was fine with his world being like this…Junsu far away from his hand’s reach was just fine and more importantly, it was safe.

“Wanna come to my house today? Mom misses her crybaby Hyukkie.” Junsu sat next to his friend, hands feeling the cold grass below, tracing invisible tracks on it with his fingers.

There was no reply, instead Hyukjae ignored the other human presence by his side and proceeded with his hobby. They remained in silence, enjoying the fresh breeze of the wind caressing their skins and disheveling their hairs.

It must have passed a couple of hours; Junsu’s sleeping face rested perfectly against the green carpet of grass with one arm supporting its weight, his chest rising up and down slowly with his breathing. Hyukjae stared at the other boy, eyes hungrily roaming over every little piece of flesh out there.

He didn’t think much he simply acted and before he knew it he had once again the camera against his eyes; Junsu was mesmerizing, the lines of his young face were soft and reminded him of a baby. Despite that, no one would deny his masculine side upon noticing the well toned body and more than often harsh tongue. Hyukjae’s breath stopped while gazing at Junsu’s Adam’s apple, the skin going around the white neck seemed so…delicious.

“You know,” Hyukjae blushed upon being caught staring. “Actually my mom is doing the night shift today…we would be alone.”

Sometimes Junsu would come and make stupid remarks and even stupider suggestions but never something like this. Or was Hyukjae just reading too much into his friend’s words? No…the hinted invitation was there, dancing dangerously inside those dark orbs.

“I noticed long ago you like taking pictures of me, right Hyukkie?” His voice sounded so gentle at that instant, Hyukjae’s hands almost crushed the camera with its tight hold.

“What nonsense are you coming up with this time? You’re so stupid.” Clouded eyes pierced Hyukjae’s heart before Junsu’s hands came to grab his friend’s thin arms to push, almost too easily, the other down.

“I’m not stupid Hyukkie, I may look carefree and somewhat naïve but I’m not stupid.”

There are times when it’s better to say nothing, to shut your mouth or else something destructive will come out of it. This was one of those times and Hyukjae did remain silent, his body trembling below Junsu’s strong hold, his forehead sweating from anticipation.
He felt hot breath roaming over his lips, his own breath mixing itself with mint flavored scent. It was more of an instinct than experience when his eyes closed fiercely with his heart beating loudly in the quiet of the afternoon.

“Like I would kiss a guy that pushes me away just because he’s scared of himself.” The youngster pulled away from his friend’s body, his hands cleaning the dust from the black jeans and quickly combing the hair. “If you wanna stick to your pictures then go ahead and live in your secured world but do know this Hyukkie,” Fingers took hold of few locks of hair bringing them up until they collided with smooth lips. “Don’t take my love for granted anymore, I’m done with running after you.”

*** ***

Believe it or not dance classes were Hyukjae’s worst nightmare. He had been reasonable good when younger and with time he had gotten even better but now he was a complete disaster. He wasn’t even sure why he chose to major in dance but a small part of him knew it had to be related to Junsu and the fact that the boy had also chosen to major in it.

This was probably a case for a psychiatrist. Inside his own room he could dance like his feet were touching air instead of harsh wood but here, in the middle of class and with some pairs of eyes on him, he looked like he had three legs instead of two.

He eyed his supposedly best-friend tying his sneaker’s laces and openly smiling at one of the girls. They were standing on opposite sides, Junsu surrounded by everyone and Hyukjae just sitting alone. Since that afternoon four days ago Junsu seemed even more distant and unreachable, now it wasn’t just Hyukjae’s wall pushing the other away…now his friend had also raised a high defensive wall around him and he had been pretty clear about it.

Their teacher came and the class gathered around for another lecture, after few minutes music erupted from the loud speakers and they started to dance.

The young dancer was having trouble with the new routine, he had been home sick the day their teacher had presented it and now it was being two times harder to understand what to do with his feet and hands, not to mention body and…was he supposed to know kung-fu? He wasn’t sure but whatever it was Yesung was doing it didn’t seem like dancing anymore.

“Hyukjae if you still can’t get it then go to that corner and observe the routine once again.” The teacher called drawing unwanted attention to his persona. His head was low while retreating to the unwanted corner, he could hear malicious whispers from stuck up kids and his eyes started to burn.

“Just watch me.” Junsu suddenly said popping from behind a startled Hyukjae and grinning.

It was beautiful, a vision fleeting in a distance, moving like a spirit of pure grace before his eyes. Suddenly everyone in the room didn’t matter anymore, mockery coming out from dirty mouths didn’t hurt anymore, harassment and noise was shut out from that world…a world that belonged only to him and Junsu and no one else.

“That was amazing...I'm really out of your league.” He blurted out when Junsu approached him. His friend narrowed his eyes in obvious displeasure and the tension between them returned once again. Hyukjae bit his tongue, silently cursing his big mouth.

“You better practice the choreography if you wanna pass this year.”

That said and he was again left alone, from the same corner of the studio he watched his friend dance for the next hour, a heavy bump on his throat growing every time Junsu smiled at someone who wasn’t him.

*** ***

"Hey wanna grab some lunch after class?"

Hyukjae glanced up and Donghae flashed him his most friendly-smile. Whenever Donghae was around not a single dull moment would fall upon the room, he was like a storm impredicteable and full of strength.

The slightly younger boy had become a very good friend, his happy nature and confident personality, but without attracting too much attention, left Hyukjae at ease.
He liked Donghae and he tresuared those moments where they were together and he could feel normal. Between them there was a silent promise of friendship and trust.

"Hm I'm broke, dad's business isn't doing so well."

"Okay, so...I'll pay for yours." A mischiveous grin plastered in the boy's face as soon as Hyukjae's mouth opened to answer. "It's a date!"

On the other side of the table Junsu dropped some of his books. He quickly went on his knees gathering his school material inside the bag, Hyukjae noticed the red cheeks, the shacking hands and the angry glare his friend sent his way after gathering his stuff.
He wanted to hide away from those eyes, eyes that were acusing and begging for some kind of explanation. But he knew there was nothing he could say or do and Junsu was also aware of that.

"Hey Hyukkie are you still there?" Donghae's hand flashed in front of Hyukjae's eyes trying to get the other's attention, but the dancer was too busy watching the approach of the campus' sensation. He definitely had a bad feeling about the outcome of this clash.

"Fish!" Junsu almost shouted and Donghae jumped at the call of his nickname. "You better keep training, you totally ruined our performance today. If you don't want to get kicked of our group better start improving. You wont last long the way you are right now."

Hyukjae had to look around and make sure Junsu was in fact scolding one of his best team dancers. All of this was for sure a result of his jealousy towards one of his closest friends.

"Ah, I didn't know I was lacking that much. Sorry, I'll try harder." Donghae muttered, eyes tracked to the ground and tears skiming the tip of his chocolate eyes.

The rest of the students started to walk away, not wanting to be part of a fight between two of their most beloved students. In few minutes the three dancers were alone in the big dancing room.

"Aish, sorry about this Fish...I..."

"Nah it's fine, I'll see you later Hyukkie. I'll pay for your lunch some other time okay?" The younger boy showed a detached smile and Hyukjae wanted nothing more than to hug the poor kid who was caught up in this complicated matter. He stayed still watching the other go.

"Happy now?"

"Don't start ok! I didn't mean to hurt him, I just..."

"Just what?" Hyukjae suddenly said, rage surficing in his voice. "You open your mouth without thinking and hurt people without caring just because what? You're jealous?"

"YES! I'M FREAKING JEALOUS, BECAUSE YOU NEVER PAY ATTENTION TO ME! BECAUSE YOU IGNORE MY PRESENCE EVEN THOUGH WE'RE IN THE SAME ROOM! BECAUSE YOU CARE MORE FOR A BOY YOU'VE MET A YEAR AGO THAN ME!"

Silence fell upon them, their breaths were the only sound created to fill the air for the next minutes. Junsu finally moved, one hand running through his hair, despair clinging to his body, consuming his soul.

"I won't say sorry for this. This is how I feel, this is what you make me feel and it's torture, it's killing me."

Without another word Hyukjae was left alone, he could hear Junsu's sneakers softly touching the ground and not long after he was all alone.

*** ***

Changmin was sitting at the end of an empty table, chemistry books opened at his front and desperation crushing his mood. Someone sat across from him shadowing the white pages filled with numbers and formulas.

“Why are you sitting here?” He impulsively asked to the young boy in astonishment.

“I can’t sit here?”

“You can is just that…” Junsu eyed him in curiosity but Changmin decided it was too much work to explain the differences between nerds and cool guys, even if the cool guy ended up being this butt-dolphin. Besides he couldn’t afford to waste precious time with this subject right before middle terms. “Never mind just be quiet.”

“Roger.”

It would have been easy if he had just ignored the other but that was practically impossible, seeming how Junsu was basically sulking and ruining his already bad mood.

“What’s going on?” Damn why did he have to act as hyung when technically he was younger?

“Nothing.” Oh oh, no you don’t mister, I’m not going to have you all day long sitting here with that face.

“Junsu sip it out, I need to study so if you want to talk now is the right time.”

Junsu’s eyes travelled from the window on his left side to the youngster’s face at his front. He bit on his lower lip a little nervous with the lead this conversation was taking, but he needed someone to talk too. Someone outside his group of friends who clearly didn't understand the meaning of his feelings.

“I did something stupid.” Changmin silently dropped his pencil over the table; his eyebrow slightly rose commanding the other to continue, providing his full attention now. “I kind of confessed to Hyukjae but things didn’t go the way I expected and…”

“And?” Junsu stared at his hands frustration crossing his features.

“I pushed him away, now we can’t even talk like before.” Silence fell between the boys, an uneasy Junsu started to glance around the empty library, waiting for some kind of answer or advice.

“You guys didn’t really talk before to tell you the truth.”

“What?”

“Junsu…” Changmin sighed. “Hyukjae is an outcast, he hates being the center of attention and people always make fun of him. You on the other hand are the perfect college guy with good appearance, good grades -well not that good but you somehow survive- liked by most students and even teachers.”

“It’s not my fault I don’t do it on purpose.”

“I know but that’s how things are, Hyukjae feels uncomfortable around you. You’re too much for him to deal with.”

The sound of a chair scratching the floor surprised Changmin, the student saw Junsu rise from his seat in fury, tears glimmering his eyes…despite everything he and Hyukjae were so alike.

“What do I do then? He was always my best friend, we did everything together but he started to change over the years. He closed inside his own cocoon and I can’t reach him…I try and try but it’s useless.”

Rain started to fall outside bringing a soothing sound with it, calming the youngster’s tormented mind, his rage slowly disappearing.

“Never mind I’m going home, thanks for listening.”

Changmin followed his hyung’s retreat for few seconds before drifting his attention to the textbooks again; those two were big enough to solve their problems without exterior interference, he hoped.

*** ***

There was something appealing about school during weekends, the rest of the week Junsu avoided thinking of classes and going to campus but on weekends, when he could stay home relaxing, he usually ended up going there anyway.
The weather was smooth with a hint of frosty air in the sky; the young dancer glanced up but remained down lying on the rooftop’s granite floor.

Hyukjae sat near his friend, camera already in hand and shooting the view around the building. Junsu felt few timid glances; from the corner of the eye he easily caught Hyukjae biting his lower lip more than once.
He wanted so much to ask what was going on, to speak like he always did whenever they were together, but this time the feeling was different. Hyukjae had to grow up and face his problems, no more Junsu the best-friend to save the day.

“You look like a pimp with those glasses, and it’s not even sunny enough to wear them.”

“If that’s an apology you’re doing a pretty bad job.” The ghost of a smile trespassed the older boy’s lips, slightly easing the mood.

“I’m just trying to break the ice here. When we were kids and fought it was simpler to say sorry.” Hyukjae pushed the camera inside the bag; he turned his body around facing his friend and shyly smiled.

“I remember you always made me cry calling me girly and making fun of my gums. You even had that ugly old butterfly pin that you would always stick to my hair. But you were always there, a constant presence by me side even during the hardest times, I’ll never forget that Junsu.”

“Hyukkie…” Junsu sat taking his shades off, one hand clutching around the cotton fabric of Hyukjae’s sweat-shirt and pulling their bodies closer to each other. “I’m still here, I’m still the same Junnie that made fun of you and kissed your cheek instead of saying sorry…it’s still me so please stop hiding from me.” It was almost desperate the way Junsu grabbed his friend's clothes and begged with his eyes.

“It’s just that people expect you to be the perfect role model and have the perfect girlfriend, find the perfect job and have the perfect life. Where do I fit in all that…where does the awkward boy fits in your world?” Hyukjae whispered the last part while blinking away the tears. He waited for some kind of answer but none came.

The sound of the other students playing basketball grabbed their attention; Junsu glanced below, his vision lost in the sea of sweating bodies running and screaming.

“We used to be like that...with no worries in the world, just the two of us laughing and living happily…I miss that, I miss the Lee Hyukjae from those times.”

“Junsu…”

“You ask where do you fit in my world? Here,” Junsu pressed one hand against his chest, the place where his heart was probably beating fast and hard. “Here is where you perfectly fit, isn’t it good enough?”

“That’s so cheesy and dramatic.”

Lips pressed softly preventing words from coming out to ruin the moment and leaving Junsu stuck against the roof’s floor, eyes big with surprise before slowly closing to taste his best-friend’s flavor.

For a first kiss (between two guys) there was a lot of tongue and lack of air, Junsu thought Hyukjae didn’t mind though, since he was practically sitting on his lap and hungrily exploring his mouth. His hand sneaked inside the two layers of sweat-shirts feeling the smoothness of the skin, reaching forward to touch the place where Hyukjae’s heart was beating fast and loud.

There were moans coming from both boys, filling the air with a husky melody, driving them both even more insane with desire and need. Junsu pushed the other against the floor switching roles, he was after all stronger and with a dominant personality. There was a small part of his brain telling him to take it slow but it was quickly shushed when he looked inside Hyukjae’s eyes.

He kissed the older boy gently, a small caress when compared to their previous make-out session. Hyukjae’s arms linked around his neck pulling him down for more, demanding so much more. He gladly granted it, hands working fast while searching for the jeans’ button.

Hyukjae moaned loudly for a second before teeth came to bit on his lower lip. Junsu’s hand touching him felt amazingly good, definitely way better than his own during shower time.

“Do you like this?” Junsu breathed against his mouth, kissing him roughly without waiting for an answer.

“Don’t ask stupid stuff at a time like this.”

“It’s not stupid. I just wanna know how you feel…if you want me to stop…”

“Don’t you dare!”

Why were they always teasing each other? Why was it so important to establish these competitive dialogues? Hyukjae didn’t know, since he could remember it had been always like this.

He knew he needed Junsu in his life. He knew Junsu needed him; they were like two opposite forces that attracted each other. Apart they would be empty shells, hollow voices among everyone out there but together they were complete, they made sense.

Hours passed with both boys lying against each other, exchanging small caresses and timid smiles. The sun was almost setting when they finally left the college grounds. Hyukjae flinched for a moment, his fingers slowly closing around Junsu’s bigger hand; his childhood friend grinned after stealing a quick kiss and pulling their bodies closer together, shoulder touching shoulder.

"So about Hae..." Hyukjae glanced at his boyfriend -that was what they were right?- "I know I was wrong and I'll ask for forgiveness again, but I won't take it easy on him. From now on he better keep his distance from you."

"You're so dork, Hae is dating that freshman Kyuhyun and I bet he would totally kick your big-ass if you ever dreamed of touching one of Hae's hair."

Junsu stopped on his track but quickly smirked, probably feeling more at ease with this new piece of information. He stole another hot kiss, his tongue lingering for some seconds inside Hyukjae's mouth tasting the warmth and flavor that was all Lee Hyukjae.

“I kind of have to say this Hyukkie.” Eyes glanced at the younger man in question, waiting for whatever nonsense Junsu would say because he had that mischievous look on his eyes, and Hyukjae knew that look more than he would like to admit. “You’re the girl in our relationship.”

Yes they would never change, Junsu would never grow up and Hyukjae would never mind that small fact especially if it meant he could save some cash.

“That means you’re in charge of paying for every single date in the future, so we’re clear about that.” Junsu blinked in surprise with his mouth slightly opened, his mind probably counting the money he would need to feed Hyukjae’s big appetite.

Sometimes letting Junsu win their words’ war wasn’t that bad, clearly.

Red String of Fate - Forgetting

2010-07-11T23:09:44Z

Author: Slarya
Pairing: Eunchun+others
Genre/Rating: AU, Action, PG-13 (rating may go up depending on how the storyline evolves)
Words: 2,092

Summary: It's hard to forget the past and it's even harder to let go of it. Two men however refuse to let go or forget; revenge, guilt, lust and passion will connect them...but what will be the outcome of such forbidden relationship?

Author's Note: I've been away from writing for almost 6 months (omg that long?) so I'm sorry if my writting is a little sloppy eheh.
I was going around my unfinished fics and came across this one, I felt I could write another part for this fic so yeah...here you have it Red String of Fate Part III
If there's still anyone reading this Enjoy! ;D

Red String of Fate

FORGETTING

One hand firmly holds the shoulder, trying to calm down the shacking body. They have been walking for almost ten minutes; Yoochun guides them between dark streets in an attempt of deceiving the enemy, if for some reason they’re still alive and following them.

Not once before has the thought of this kid being a real target crossed his mind, at least not until this night. Now he understands a little better why Yunho and Jae want him with Hyukjae so badly…he is after all the best when it comes to annihilate a threat.

“We’re almost there, are you ok?” Hyukjae nods but remains in absolute silence. He has not uttered a word since they left the alley; Micky can see the reflection of fear in those eyes and he finds himself pitting the trembling boy even if he tries hard not to, he can’t let himself be pulled into this kind of game. Looking behind and then to his left side, he pushes the garage’s door open and walks inside, Hyukjae standing next to him so close like his own shadow.

“What do we have here?” A man crosses the small distance that separates the three men and smirks when Hyuk positions himself slightly behind his bodyguard. He has broad shoulders and his presence quickly demands respect. “Didn’t know you liked boys, seeing how you’ve dated half of Seoul’s babes.”

“It’s good to see you too Kangin.” The older man smiles easing a little the tension in the room and pulls Micky inside a quick hug, patting his back in the process. He notices the bloodied arm and the gun still in hand.

“What happened? You’re ok?” Yoochun approaches the window and watches the night outside the glass. The gun is restored into the safety of its holster after few seconds and he finally breathes in relief.

“I’m fine, we just needed some place safe to pass the night.” Kangin is about to say something but chooses to shut his mouth instead, he sees the red haired boy still trembling and seeming slightly terrified for being apart from his bodyguard. Looks like the small distance of ten feet is too much for him to handle.

“Ok. Eeteuk is in the back, go to him he’ll take care of your arm.”

*** ***

Yoochun flinches a little when the disinfectant touches the bruise, it doesn’t look that bad but he knows how Teukie is, better to let him do as he pleases, he is the doctor after all. The bandage around his arm doesn’t allow him to move freely but it’s necessary if he wants it to heal fast.

His eyes catch Hyukjae sitting in bed, arms around legs and tracks of tears still marking his face, even though they have stopped running ten minutes ago. He’s tired but refuses to let sleep take control of his body.

Eeteuk murmurs something about food and walks outside the bedroom, closing the door softly on his way out. Bare feet touch the cold floor and move next to the frightened young man.

“I thought you were dead.” Surprisingly it’s Hyukjae the first to break through their wall of silence. “I thought it was happening all over again…someone dying because of me.”

What’s he supposed to say? He doesn’t know this kid nor does he want to. But clearly something must have happened in the past that left him this traumatized, that left him so fragile and scared.

“I’m hard to kill.” He grins when the other looks at him, pushing the blanket aside he steps into bed. Back against the wall, eyes still fixed on Hyukjae’s face. Hyuk smiles briefly and nods.

“We’re staying here?”

“Yeah, just for the night. I called Jae already, it’s better to keep low profile for the next few hours.” Micky says while adjusting the bandage in the arm. “Tomorrow morning we’ll go back to your place.”

He watches as the boy slowly drifts to sleep. The next two hours he stays awake, making sure Hyukjae is safe. He doesn’t notice when his eyelashes start closing, or when his head falls to the side nor does he notice when the older boy moves next to him. Hand gently grabbing his one, skin touching skin…Hyukjae breathes in relief when he feels the warm touch and closes his eyes, now he can really sleep.

*** ***

Everything is quiet…that’s what wakes him up.

Yoochun’s eyes open fast; ears listening attentively, searching for some kind of misplaced sound anything that can be considered a threat. He can’t help it, everytime things get too peaceful he tends to get stressed. His instincts know better than to trust the deceiving silence of the night. Tonight though, there’s nothing but a steady breath next to his neck keeping him warm.

That’s when he realizes a sleeping Hyukjae sits next to him, back against the wall and head over his shoulder. There’s also Hyukjae’s hand grabbing tightly onto his own and Yoochun panics.
Why the hell is this guy leaning on me?

“Yoochun?” The said man glances at the door; Eeteuk’s standing there with his motherly look on, and Yoochun knows what is coming. He gently pushes the other against the bed, tucking the blankets around the thin frame. It’s kind of hard to make the boy let go of his hand but after few attempts he finally gets free, walking out of the room his eyes glance one last time at the sleeping form before exiting.

*** ***

Eeteuk turns off the oven’s fire; the water in the teakettle is boiling when he drops some green tea leafs inside. A pleasant scent spreads through the kitchen area when the man fills in the three mugs standing over the dark table.

Micky watches all this with meticulous eyes, none of the older man’s steady moves escape him. He remembers the first time he met Eeteuk, almost six years ago; the man has been a constant form of force in his life since then. Making sure he walks the right path, making sure revenge isn’t consuming his heart or his soul.

“Kangin hyung’s tea will be cold.” Yoochun cleverly points out after noticing the absence of the other man.

“He always gets up around this time to drink some, and he likes it better when it’s almost cold.”

“Thank you,” Micky takes a sip of the drink, the taste is pleasant. It helps him clear his mind. “You know you can say it, I know you’re dying to say it.”

“I’m not happy about what you’re doing right now.” There’s a mischievous grin over the boy’s face as he waits for what’s coming next. “I thought you forgot about this…didn’t you say you were over it?”

“I am.”

“No you’re not Park Yoochun.” Eeteuk’s hand grabs the cup with a little more strength. “They killed him, you’re not over it and you’ll never will if you continue to do that kind of work.”

Yoochun rests his back against the plastic chair, one finger going through the board of the cup catching a small drop of tea. How to deny those words? They’re true after all; he has not forgotten that day for one instant and the intention of letting go has never crossed his mind before. His revenge is what he’s living for, there’s nothing keeping him alive, keeping him sane except for that.

“So who’s the kid?” The older of the two starts questioning. It’s so typical of Eeteuk to worry himself over things like other people’s problems, any other person would just let it go and ignore it but not Eeteuk, no definitely not him.

“Lee Hyukjae.”

“Damn it Yoochun…why him? Couldn’t you choose another person to work for?”

“I didn’t want this,” Eeteuk snorts at the answer. “It’s true, I’ve been working for his dad but he came home recently. I had no idea things would end up like this.”

“It scares me what you’re doing.” Yoochun stands and walks to the other side of the kitchen, he stares at the sink at his front and drops the cup inside. Turning the water on he lets the cold liquid hit his hands, his mind lost in thoughts.

“Thank you for the tea, as always it was great.” Eeteuk’s eyes follow the man’s shadow until he’s left alone. He sighs and silently prays, Yoochun needs all the help he can get, even a divine one.

*** ***

Hyukjae watches as the moonlight casts shadows over the palm of his right hand and arm. It’s still hard to believe his life was at risk a couple of hours ago, he tries hard to forget the loud sound of gunshots but he just needs to close his eyes and he’s back in that alley. Another shiver runs through his spine, another involuntary tear rolls down his swollen face…he needs to be strong, needs to keep his sanity.

He closes his eyes again but this time he doesn’t hear anything, he just lets his mind search for a comforting memory and just like that he’s saved. A hand, a soft but strong hand holds his shoulder as two persons run from the devil. The man doesn’t say much; in fact Hyukjae finds it difficult to hear him do so much as breathing, so silent he is, but he radiates strength and that’s all Hyukjae needs to calm his beating heart.

The door is opened and closed fast; Micky walks back into the room, casts his shirt away and stares at the oddly form sleeping in bed. The boy is facing the wall and window, eyes tightly shut to the world but Micky knows he’s awake. Well not his problem if he has trouble sleeping or if he wants to pretend he’s doing it.

Yoochun grabs another blanket from the closet; Hyukjae hears the movements from the younger man down in the floor, trying to find a pleasant position to get some sleep. Slowly he turns and opens his eyes, he can’t see much besides Yoochun’s shadow on the ground but it’s enough to reassure him…they’re safe for now.

“Thank you.” He whispers and he knows the other has heard him.

*** ***

“So how you wanna do this?”

Hyukjae is entering the kitchen room when Kangin shoots the question. He sees the medic, Eeteuk preparing breakfast with a little smile on his face; he seems like a nice guy. The other one, the broad shouldered guy is sitting on one of the chairs, a map (of what Hyukjae supposes it’s the part of the city where the bike store stands) at his front marked with red and blue lines.

“I called Hero, if you can get us safe to the other side of Han River he’ll collect us there.” Yoochun answers with his husky voice. That’s when the red-haired boy notices the man on the other side of the table. Yoochun is tying the laces of his black military boots; he’s dressed neatly in black baggy pants and a tight, sleeveless shirt in the same dark color.

Hyukjae misses a breath, his hands shake slightly at the vision of such confident man. He finds himself eyeing the muscles of Yoochun’s arms, following the way his chest raises up and down, the way his lips twitch up a little when he smirks at something Kangin says. The man’s aura is magnetic and pulls Hyukjae in at full speed.

“Breakfast is almost ready,” Hyukjae jumps at Eeteuk’s voice next to him. “Did you sleep well?”

“Ye-yes, thank you. And thank you for your help, I will return the favor in the future.” Everyone in the room stops talking and three pairs of eyes look in his direction. Hyukjae wants nothing more than a hole to open on the floor so he can run inside and hide.

“Nonsense, you’re Yoochun’s friend that means you’re our friend equally.” The doctor replies, a dimpled smile reaching his face. “Let’s eat, I bet you want nothing more than to reach home fast.

Hyukjae stays quiet; how to explain this was the best night since he can remember despite all the adversities? The first night he didn’t dream of his friend being shot, of blood covering his hands and arms and face…he sits next to Yoochun and starts biting his bread; they speak of untraceable phones and best roads to drive through during day without being detected.
He slumps on his seat, casts his eyes down and waits while his fate is again attached to that house, to that life.

Our most favorite DJ is joining the army T_T

2009-10-06T18:49:23Z

omg no *cries in a corner*

I just found out from Tukutz's blog that he's leaving us to join the army on October's 15 T_____________T
no Epik High for the next 2 years, wth last couple of weeks we only get sad news from Korea entertainment, I'm gonna miss this guy so damn much...and I wanted them to tour Europe like next year or something, guess I'll just have to wait a little longer before seeing them live D:

on another hand I'm super happy because he announced his wedding with his long time term girlfriend (of 10 years, can you imagine? :D) to be happening before his enlistment...go Tukutz go!

Surrender

2009-10-05T01:14:38Z

Author: Slarya
Pairing: Blohyuk
Genre/Rating: AU!Fantasy, PG
Words: 2,323
Length: One-Shot

Summary: Tablo's turn has finally come and now he has to learn how to deal with something beyond his comprehension.

Author's note: I have no idea where this came from, it's weird and completely crazy, yes? :D
Dedicated to lovely hyukka aka hyuknice even though she's MIA and so busy right now and won't probably read it, even so HAPPY ~~belated~~ BIRTHDAY sweetie <3

SURRENDER

Tablo knows this day is kind of fate to come; it’s just that he never really bothers to think much about it. He has heard countless times people talking about it, how amazing and wonderful it is. His first time however is completely different from what he has heard and now a feeling of annoyance and displeasure quickly covers his mind.

The boy stays still at his front; eyes colored in chocolate stare at him in awe and excitement, a big gummy smile spreads over a face that seems too small to contain it -Tablo thinks it must hurt to smile like that-

He’s not happy or pleased; this definitely isn’t what he had in mind in the first place. They remain in silence simply watching each other’s reaction, in Tablo’s case wondering if there is an escape for this entire thing, can he return it?

“You’re sure you didn’t get the wrong person?” He can’t help but to ask.

“That’s not even possible,” The kid replies, smiling again brightly. “I’m yours.”

God, what have I done to deserve this?

Why is the world treating him so wrongly? He is a well known novelist, he contributes to the world’s literature creating fine pieces of art and he is a good citizen, at least he thinks recycling and paying his taxes counts for that…so why is this happening to him? Especially now, during this moment of life when he needs peace not turbulence disturbing him.

“Look I don’t want to sound rude but you can’t stay here.” The other looks in confusion around, the smile never really leaving his lips. “So, wherever you came from you better go back.”

“I don’t understand.” Seriously is it that hard to get what he’s trying to say? This is exactly why he doesn’t want him in the first place.

“I’m busy with my work and I don’t have time to deal with things like you, ok?”

Hearing those words the boy takes one step back, his fingers close tightly around the soft fabric of his white sweatshirt and tears drop from his eyes surprising Tablo, he never thought they could or even would cry. In a blink of an eye Tablo is all alone, his apartment’s front door opened and no vestiges of the boy left.

It seems ages since that meeting but it has only been few hours. The man sits across the wooden table, hands reaching for the laptop and fingers pressing the keys. His initial motivation to write has blown away with the strange kid. It’s getting dark, rays of sun barely touch the windows and he knows it’s going be a cold night, it will probably snow.

Grabbing his coat and keys Tablo makes his way out. He presses the elevator button and starts surrounding his neck with a warm scarf when he notices a shadow sitting at the corner of the stairs. He reaches closer and observes the clean and perfect features of the sleeping boy.

Indeed this creature is beautiful, innocent traces cover his face making Tablo wonder about the true nature of the boy. Where does he come from? Is he the one who chose Tablo or is there anyone above this all?

Chocolate eyes stare back at him again; Tablo’s heart skips a beat the moment their eyes meet. There was this feeling bugging him since that morning. This feeling telling him it was not ok to let the boy go, even worse to kick the boy out. Now somehow he feels a little better, at least the kid hasn’t gone far.

“I’m sorry about today,” Tablo pulls the scarf free and circles the youngster’s neck with it. His hands touch white, pearly skin and it’s cold. “I wasn’t expecting you and I got a little carried away, come inside please.”

Lean legs supporting the weight of a thin body, gummy smile visible again in those warm features and Tablo finds himself smiling back.

“Do you have a name?”

“Yes, it’s Hyukjae.” The writer nods and gently grabs Hyukjae’s hand, their first real contact surprising him with the intensity of his feelings overloading his brain. He quickly lets go, hiding his discomfort behind a frown.

“Let’s go inside, it’s getting cold.”

It is strange and he has no idea how to deal with this new change in his usual steady world. For once he’s out of words, speechless while the boy talks and talks and continues talking.

“I don’t know how I got here, I only remember darkness around me…then the calling.”

“The calling?”

“Yes, it’s the name it gets. It calls us when our keeper’s signal is awaken inside us.” Tablo takes a sip of his beer, listening intently. “When we hear the sign we can’t control anything anymore, that’s why I can’t recall how I got here or how I knew you were even here…I just simply knew I was yours forever.”

“I see,” How can he accept it though? To be the owner of something like this boy? Sure he isn’t human but what is he then? The logical part of his brain refuses to understand and accept Hyukjae as a part of his life. “Well you can leave if you want, I’m not labeling you as mine. You’re smart and young, you can do whatever you want, really.”

“I want to stay here.” Hyukjae quickly replies, excitement all over his voice.

“Why? You don’t even know me.”

“Because I love you.” Again Tablo is left speechless. He won’t ever, ever understand it.

“But I don’t love you.”

“I know,” Hyukjae simply says. “Most keepers don’t. But we feel things entirely differently from you. We live our entire existence with the only purpose of meeting you, I already loved you before I met you…it's part of who I am.”

Hyukjae remains quiet while watching Tablo walking back and forth in the living room. The man looks at his red-haired boy, sitting cross-legged on the floor, a look of blissful happiness tainting his eyes.

“Are you hungry?”

It has been almost one month since the strange boy has walked in his life. Tablo is still trying to understand what exactly Hyukjae is, because it’s absolutely strange to find a word to describe him.

Hyukjae almost never leaves home, the only times he does is when Tablo asks him to come out with him, or when he wants to buy something for Tablo.

Hyukjae never sleeps, at least Tablo can never catch the boy sleeping or eating or even drinking water, according to the boy he doesn’t have too though he can do it if he wants too. Hyukjae also has this incredible sensitivity to his owner’s feelings, whenever Tablo is mad or down, frustrated or happy, sleepy or grumpy…Hyukjae can tell.

Their emotional connection has considerably grown over the last couple of weeks together, Tablo has tried to avoid feeling something, anything for the other but it is extremely hard.

It’s like saying his brain is fighting over the matter while his heart is telling him to just let go and embrace Hyukjae’s small form, whenever the boy jumps in his arms when he gets home from work. Tablo never hugs back though, and sometimes he’s sure Hyukjae forces his smile just to hide away his tears.

Months pass and Tablo gets himself a girl, he is a man after all. A man with urgent needs, because he’s going insane over the creature who now shares a roof and even more importantly a life with him.

Hyukjae knows about her, even though Tablo has never brought her home with him or discussed about her with him, but Hyukjae is Hyukjae and he can always always tell. This not-so secret between them is most probably what unleashes the events of that night.

“Do you love her?” Tablo looks away from his book and eyes the boy at his front with curiosity. Sometimes Hyukjae asks weird questions at weird times but never personal things like this.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean do you love the woman you’ve been seeing the last couple of days?” Hyukjae forces his eyes to the ground, fingers playing with the soft blanket of Tablo’s bed. “Or are you just using her for your own needs like the other men out there do?”

“Despite what you may think love is not that easy. This doesn’t mean I don’t love her, it also doesn’t mean I do or that I’m using her.”

“You always complicate things so much…if only you would let me…”

Hyukjae’s whispered words are the last thing Tablo hears. The boy is fast crawling into his bed, feet barely touching the floor before melting against the bed-sheets. Feathery-like fingers caress his hair, descending over pale skin and pulling Tablo’s chin up. They stare at one another, Tablo wants to run but the intensity of those eyes reading his soul, discovering his secrets…it’s just not possible to move.

Hyukjae’s lips part and his voice comes out like music, soothing down the writer’s confused feelings with a language beyond human-nature understanding. They are so close, Tablo can feel Hyukjae’s breath on his skin, he can feel Hyukjae’s touch on his body, but the question is for how long?

He has heard so many stories about keepers who couldn’t stay apart from them; all of those stories have ended badly. Their job is to keep keepers safe, to protect their lives but not interfere in them. Hyukjae is clearly disobeying the rules, with what purpose? Tablo doesn’t know.

“Stop it.” His voice is soft but commanding. As fast as he came Hyukjae also goes. He’s now standing near the bedroom’s door, hurt written all over his face.

“You think I want to harm you.”

“I know you wouldn’t harm me Hyukjae, but…this can’t happen ever again. Understand?” The boy bows and smirks, but his eyes are too innocent, too real. He can’t hide the pain or the thorns in his voice.

“Yes master.”

“Thank you for walking me home, I had fun tonight.”

The man watches the door closing and walks away, back to his own place. Tonight he noticed he is far more comfortable with Sang-mi when they are just hanging out as friends. Fortunately he’s not her type either and she feels the same as him, making his job easier by not creating a fuss over the matter.

Now he only has to deal with the boy sulking around his home, Hyukjae isn’t talking to him since that discussion. Tablo knows he has hurt the other but he also finds it necessary for Hyukjae to understand they can never be in that kind of relationship.

He pushes the door open and the light in the lobbyer lights, as soon as he steps inside. There’s no trace of anyone living in there besides himself, there’s no sound besides his own foot-steps over the wooden floor.

Tablo takes his coat and navy striped sweatshirt off while walking into the bathroom. Hot water releases his muscles from the tension of the last couple of days, he finds himself drowning underneath the water spray just to avoid the confrontation for a little longer.

Half an hour later and Tablo finds himself in his bedroom, a towel between his hands, drying up the last particles of water from his messy hair. He catches Hyukjae’s form from the corner of his eyes. The boy always stays in that same place when Tablo’s sleeping. Legs pulled to his chest, arms around them and head dropping over it, his corner in the room between Tablo’s working table and window.

It hits Tablo how inhuman this actually is, even if the boy was the first to choose that spot.

“I’m sorry for speaking to you like that, I didn’t want to hurt you.” Hyukjae stays still ignoring his owner. “Hyukjae please can we at least talk about it?”

“No.”

“Fine.”

Turning off the lights Tablo crawls inside bed, pulling the blankets over his body and shutting his eyes. The clock over the nightstand seems to be louder than last night, its tic-toc slowly driving the older man even madder.

“You’re being so childish.” He can’t help but say, frustration finally reaching its limits.

“I’m being me, which is exactly what you hate.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Nothing, go sleep.” Tablo almost, almost throws his pillow at the boy but the thought of being the mature one here stops him in time.

“I’ll go sleep but not because you told me too. It’s because I want too.” Yeah you go man, really mature.

It’s dawn when the feel of something warm reaches his hand. He wakes up with the light touch but pretends to be sleeping; Hyukjae’s lips press closely, in affection, against Tablo’s wrist. The boy stays quiet, kneeling on the floor, head over the bed and again his musical voice speaks in a language Tablo can’t understand but wishes so much he could.

“I wish you didn’t see me as a thing, as something not worthy of your love. No one will ever know you how I know you, or love you so much as I love you, no one.”

Hyukjae’s eyes have tears in them when he looks at Tablo; the older man stares back at him, finally understanding that what this boy is doesn’t affect what they both feel. Their differences is what makes them love each other, it’s what makes them need each other.

“I’m your Hyukjae.” It’s so simple. “Isn’t that enough?”

Tablo doesn’t answer; he has learned words aren’t always necessary or enough. Think, learn, follow and love with your heart.

So he surrenders and pulls this beautiful man into his arms, he lets the faint rays of sun illuminate those sparkling eyes. Hyukjae snuggles against his chest breathing in relief and he realizes people can be really stupid by letting the most treasured things escape from their lives.

“I love you.”