I give you - the Magical, the Mystical, the Marvelous, Ms. Mistoffelees

skye_ds — Thu, 15 Mar 2012 04:45:48 GMT

RIP Jezebel, Miss Jesse James

skye_ds — Thu, 15 Mar 2012 04:32:33 GMT

RIP Jezebel, Miss Jesse James
1989 - 2012

You were the very best of us - the smartest, the bravest, the fastest, the strongest.

Author Unknown ~

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable. All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind. They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart. Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

)O( )O( )O(

If It Should Be ~ Anonymous

If it should be that I grow weak,

And pain should keep me from my sleep,

Then you must do what must be done,

For this last battle cannot be won.

You will be sad, I understand;

Don't let your grief then stay your hand.

For this day more than all the rest,

Your love for me must stand the test.

We've had so many happy years -

What is to come can hold no fears.

You'd not want me to suffer so;

The time has come, so let me go.

Take me where my needs they'll tend

And please stay with me until the end.

Hold me firm and speak to me

Until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time that you will see

The kindness that you did for me.

Although my tail its last has waved,

From pain and suffering I've been saved.

Please do not grieve - it must be you

Who had this painful thing to do.

We've been so close, we two, these years -

Don't let your heart hold back its tears.

)O( )O( )O(

Lend Me a Horse ~ Anonymous

I will lend to you for awhile,

a Horse, God said,

For you to love her while she lives

and mourn for her when she's dead.

Maybe for twelve or fourteen years,

or maybe two or three

But will you, 'till I call her back,

take care of her for me.

She'll bring her charms to gladden you

and (should her stay be brief)

you'll always have her memories

as solace for your grief.

I cannot promise she will stay,

since all from earth return

But there are lessons taught below

I want this Horse to learn.

I've looked the whole world over

in search of teachers true

And from the folk that crowd's life's land

I have chosen you.

Now will you give her all your love

Nor think the labor vain,

Nor hate me when I come to take my Horse back again.

I fancied that I heard them say

"Dear Lord Thy Will be Done,"

For all the joys this Horse will bring,

the risk of grief we'll run.

We'll shelter her with tenderness

we'll love her while we may

And for the happiness we've known forever grateful stay

But should you call her back

much sooner than we've planned,

We'll brave the bitter grief that comes,

and try to understand.

If, by our love, we've managed,

your wishes to achieve

In memory of her we loved,

to help us while we grieve,

When our faithful steed departs this world of strife,

We'll have yet another Horse and love her all her life.

)O( )O( )O(

The Power of the Horse (sic Dog)

by Rudyard Kipling

There is sorrow enough in the natural way

From men and women to fill our day;

And when we are certain of sorrow in store,

Why do we always arrange for more?

Brothers and Sisters, I bid you beware

Of giving your heart to a Horse to tear.

Buy a Horse and your money will buy

Love unflinching that cannot lie--

Perfect passion and worship fed

By a kick in the ribs or a pat on the head.

Nevertheless it is hardly fair

To risk your heart for a Horse to tear.

When the fourteen years which Nature permits

Are closing in asthma, or tumour, or fits,

And the vet's unspoken prescription runs

To lethal chambers or loaded guns,

Then you will find--it's your own affair--

But...you've given your heart for a Horse to tear.

When the body that lived at your single will,

With its whimper of welcome, is stilled (how still!);

When the spirit that answered your every mood

Is gone--wherever it goes--for good,

You will discover how much you care,

And will give your heart for the Horse to tear.

We've sorrow enough in the natural way,

When it comes to burying Christian clay.

Our loves are not given, but only lent,

At compound interest of cent per cent.

Though it is not always the case, I believe,

That the longer we've kept 'em, the more do we grieve:

For, when debts are payable, right or wrong,

A short-time loan is as bad as a long--

So why in Heaven (before we are there)

Should we give our hearts to a Horse to tear?

)O( )O( )O(

There Must be a Heaven ~ Anonymous

There must be a heaven for the animal friends we love.

They are not human, yet they bring out our own humanity. . .

sometimes in ways that other people cannot.

They do not worry about fame or fortune. . .

instead, they bring our hearts nearer to the joy of simple things.

Each day they teach us little lessons in trust and steadfast affection.

Whatever heaven may be, there's surely a place in it for friends as good as these.

Anyone who has loved a pet can understand your loss.

May it help to know how much others care

mile markers

skye_ds — Sat, 28 May 2011 04:31:07 GMT

* This weekend Eric (sineater ) and I have been married 19 years (20 years together).
* Next weekend I turn 41.
* Marcus (sonar0m ) and I have been together 8 years (9 years come Thanksgiving)..

Requiescat in Pace ~ Rest in Peace

skye_ds — Thu, 14 Apr 2011 07:52:22 GMT

At 11 pm Wednesday April 13, Jezebel (gaited Foundation / Old Style Morgan) was in labor with Sjouke's (Friesian stallion) foal. At 1 am Thursday April 14, she delivered a stillborn colt.

Alleluia. Now cracks a noble heart. – Good night, sweet prince, And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest!

O thou who reignest over life and death, in the courts of thy Saints grant rest unto him [her] whom thou hast removed from temporal things. And remember me also, when thou comest into thy kingdom.

Give rest, O Lord, to your handmaid, who has fallen asleep. Where the choirs of the Saints, O Lord, and of the Just, shine like the stars of heaven, give rest to thy servant who hath fallen asleep, regarding not all his / her transgressions.

Life: a shadow and a dream. Which dreams, indeed, are ambition; for the very substance of the ambitious is merely the shadow of a dream. A dream itself is but a shadow.

Weeping at the grave creates the song: Alleluia. Come, enjoy rewards and crowns I have prepared for you. Thou only art immortal, who hast created and fashioned man. For out of the earth were we mortals made, and unto the earth shall we return again, as thou didst command when thou madest me, saying unto me: For earth thou art, and unto the earth shalt thou return. Whither, also, all we mortals wend our way, making of our funeral dirge the song: Alleluia.

skye_ds — Tue, 12 Apr 2011 07:54:18 GMT

"I’m not by nature a moderate person, nor do I really have any middle gears. I’m intense. I have a bad temper, and I throw myself into joy with absolute abandon." ~ mama_hogswatch (Noel Figart)

Exactly THIS. This is it. This is Me. I'm done feeling guilty about it. I'm done apologizing for it. (As always, thanks, Noel, Darlin, *hugs* *loves*)

Upcoming Events

skye_ds — Tue, 12 Apr 2011 06:28:40 GMT

Saturday 4/16 - Concubine's Birthday (Marcus/sonar0m ). We were going to be doing a one day roaming renaissance festival in San Antonio. This is looking like it may not happen, because the organizer is thinking about cancelling it, again. And even if she doesn't, I just had emergency surgery this past Friday, and recovery is going to limit what I do for the next 4 - 6 weeks. May just have a regular park day and/or go see Your Highness in garb:
Old Settlers Park, Virg Rabb Pavilion
3300 Palm Valley Blvd, Round Rock, TX (turn right on Whitlow Way inside park)
3 pm - Darkish

Saturday 4/23 - Fit for a Queen Day. Free Facials for all the women present. Other goodies possibly including massage.
Old Settlers Park, Virg Rabb Pavilion
3300 Palm Valley Blvd, Round Rock, TX (turn right on Whitlow Way inside park)
3 pm - Darkish

Saturday 4/30 - Eeyore's
http://www.eeyores.com
Pease Park, Austin TX, 8 am - 8 pm
Maypole, Fight the Knight, battle games, arts & crafts, astrology & tarot, food booth, mounted security - Eat Drink and Be Merry at the biggest costume party in Austin! :)

May:
Jesse was kind enough not to foal out while I was having emergency surgery, bless her big black heart. But she IS dripping, so by May, there will be another baby. Equestrian Events every weekend in May, but not for us. Baby = May, in a nutshell.

Note to Self

skye_ds — Thu, 31 Mar 2011 23:33:18 GMT

Dear Self:

You have been enjoying yourself, drowning in ever deeper waters of your own subspace lately. Love is infinite, but Time is not. I know you're a Switch, but do you really think it's a good idea to accept the request of that Pretty Young Thing, no matter desperately he begs to be your submissive? I mean Really? Seriously?

He's young. He's hawt. (*fanning Self*). He is a graduate of Baylor Baptist Seminary, fer Chrissakes (literally.) You're old. You're fat. You are a married polyamorous witch/pagan priestess. You need this like you need another hole in your head. I could say a whole lot more, but I won't. You're going to do what you're going to do, anyway. And don't say I didn't "Told You So."

Just Sayin',
The Management

DailyOM: Not Everybody Will Like You

skye_ds — Fri, 25 Mar 2011 02:47:02 GMT

(source: http://www.dailyom.com/articles/2011/27707.html)

March 24, 2011
Disapproving Faces
Not Everybody Will Like You

When someone doesn’t like you, rather than taking it personally we can release the need for approval and move on.

It is not necessarily a pleasant experience, but there will be times in our lives when we come across people who do not like us. As we know, like attracts like, so usually when they don’t like us it is because they are not like us. Rather than taking it personally, we can let them be who they are, accepting that each of us is allowed to have different perspectives and opinions. When we give others that freedom, we claim it for ourselves as well, releasing ourselves from the need for their approval so we can devote our energy toward more rewarding pursuits.

While approval from others is a nice feeling, when we come to depend on it we may lose our way on our own path. There are those who will not like us no matter what we do, but that doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with us. Each of us has our own filters built from our experiences over time. They may see in us something that is merely a projection of their understanding, but we have no control over the interpretations of others. The best we can do is to hope that the role we play in the script of their lives is helpful to them, and follow our own inner guidance with integrity.

As we reap the benefits of walking our perfect paths, we grow to appreciate the feeling of fully being ourselves. The need to have everyone like us will be replaced by the exhilaration of discovering that we are attracting like-minded individuals into our lives—people who like us because they understand and appreciate the truth of who we are. We free ourselves from trying to twist into shapes that will fit the spaces provided by others’ limited understanding and gain a new sense of freedom, allowing us to expand into becoming exactly who we’re meant to be. And in doing what we know to be right for us, we show others that they can do it too. Co-creating our lives with the universe and its energy of pure potential, we transcend limitations and empower ourselves to shine our unique light, fully and freely.

***

Or, as Don Miguel Ruiz says, "Don't Take it Personally" (Agmt 2). Got yet another refresher course, AGAIN, on this, at SCA Gulf War last week. The horses and Arthur-bird are so much smarter than me. They only have to learn once. I keep having to learn over and over again. Although I will say this - it did not bother me so much that the person in question didn't like me. After her temper tantrum and flounce, truthfully, I didn't like her very much either. What bothered me is that she expressed her dislike very loudly with a big Temper Tantrum and teenage Flounce. I don't care that she went away. I didn't want her to go away mad. I just wanted her to go away. Quietly.

Pictures

skye_ds — Tue, 22 Mar 2011 22:39:19 GMT

http://www.photobucket.com/albums/d110/SkyeDS

In the following albums:
>Sjouke
>Faith
>Altair Ibn Mirage
>Xmas
>Faires > SCA - HFS

Sjouke - Friesian stallion
Faith - Drum mare
Altair Ibn Mirage - Al Khamsa Straight Egyptian Arabian

Still living in a Rape Culture and more people on Crazy Pills

skye_ds — Wed, 16 Mar 2011 01:41:01 GMT

http://www.cnn.com/2011/CRIME/03/14/texas.alleged.rape/index.html?iref=allsearch

Texas Criminal Code, § 22.011 - Sexual assault for anyone to intentionally or knowingly penetrate a person under age 17, other than his spouse.

Statutory rape has everything to do with age, and nothing to do with consent. Statutory rape has not a damn thing to do with whether or not the minor said yes or no, whatever the minor was or was not wearing, or where the parents were or were not. We still live in a Rape Culture.

Legislators and Doctors on Crazy Pills: Her baby wasn't expected to live, but Nebraska law banned abortion.

http://www.desmoinesregister.com/article/20110306/NEWS10/103060331

Afraid of the Truth (DailyOM)

skye_ds — Mon, 14 Mar 2011 14:45:48 GMT

(source: http://www.dailyom.com/articles/2011/27699.html)

March 14, 2011
Feeling Threatened
Afraid of the Truth

We avoid the truth because it scares us, or makes us angry, or makes us feel like we don’t know what to do.

Most of us have had the experience of being in possession of a piece of truth that we were afraid to share because we knew it would not be well received. There are also instances in which we ourselves have been unable to handle some truth confronting us. This might be a small truth, such as not wanting to see that our car needs repairs because we don’t want to pay for them, or a large truth, such as not fully accepting that someone close to us is pushing us away. Usually the truth is evident, and we can see it if we choose, but we have elaborate ways of hiding the truth form ourselves, no matter how apparent it is.

For the most part, we avoid the truth because it scares us, or makes us angry, or makes us feel like we don’t know what to do. We often create our lives based on a particular understanding, and if that understanding turns out to be fully or even partially incorrect, we may feel that our whole sense of reality is being threatened. It takes a strong person to face the truth in circumstances like these, and many of us run for cover instead. Nevertheless, we can only avoid the truth for so long before it begins to make itself known in ever more forceful ways.

Ultimately, there is no way to avoid the truth, no matter how painful it is, so the sooner we let down our defenses, the better. When we know the truth and accept that we may have to adjust our lives to accommodate, we are in alignment with reality. At the same time, we can be patient with people around us who have a hard time seeing the truth, because we know how painful it can be. Whatever the truth is, we make a sincere effort not to close our eyes to it, but instead to be grateful that we have access to it.

What fear do you hold and how are you calling that fear down onto yourself?

skye_ds — Mon, 14 Mar 2011 06:34:39 GMT

"In Native American folklore Rabbit is symbolic of how we deal with fears. In many stories, Rabbit started as a fearless warrior until some trust was broken. Rabbits are food for many predators, including Coyote, Hawk, Eagle, Bobcat, Snake, and Man. Fear is a difficult thing to come to grips with. Some amount of fear is a healthy thing that serves the purpose of protecting us. The challenge is first to determine where our fears are irrational and secondly to find strategies to overcome or transform the fear. A phobia is defined as an irrational fear usually with an inability to control emotional and physical reactions." ( http://www.sedonaexperiences.com/AnimalSymbolism.htm)

The Story of Medicine Man and Rabbit

Medicine Man and Rabbit were the very best of friends. When Rabbit was hungry, Medicine Man used his medicine to feed Rabbit. When Rabbit was thirsty, Medicine Man used his medicine to give Rabbit water to drink. When Rabbit was sick or hurt, Medicine Man used his medicine to heal Rabbit.

It was a beautiful spring day with clear sky and Medicine Man went in search of his very best friend, Rabbit. Medicine Man finally found Rabbit hiding beneath a very full and lush bush. Rabbit looked up and saw Medicine Man and began to shiver and shake. Although he knew he was well hidden and could never be seen even by the keen eyed Medicine Man, he started hopping around and around in circles. Finally he could no longer tolerate his growing fear and ran out from the safety of the underbush and shouted up to Medicine Man, "I can no longer tolerate my growing fear of your very powerful medicine. Take your medicine and go away!" Medicine Man was puzzled and hurt. Medicine Man said, "My medicine has only ever given you food, water and healing." But nothing Medicine Man could do or say could sway Rabbit from his irrational fear. Rabbit kept on hopping around and around in circles and shouting, "I can no longer tolerate my growing fear of your very powerful medicine. Take your medicine and go away!"

Medicine Man's great heart was broken over the loss of his very best friend Rabbit. Medicine Man replied, "From now on, you will hold fear. And you will call that fear down upon yourself. You will hide beneath a very full and lush bush. You will look up and see the eagle, and the bear, and the snake, and you will begin to shiver and shake. Although you know you are well hidden and can never be seen even by keen eyed eagle, bear and snake, you will start hopping around and around in circles. Finally you will no longer tolerate your growing fear, and you will run out from the safety of the underbush and shout up to the eagle, the bear and the snake: “Eagle, eagle don’t eat me! Don’t eat me!” "Bear, bear don't eat me!" "Snake, snake don't eat me!" Suddenly hearing and seeing you, the eagle, the bear and the snake, who had not noticed you hidden under the bush before, will swoop down and gobble you up!"

What fear do you hold and how are you calling that fear down onto yourself?

Step by Step Instructions for How to Win the Battle While Losing the War

skye_ds — Mon, 14 Mar 2011 01:05:39 GMT

1. Partner M knowingly behaves in dangerously irresponsible ways, resulting in multiple physical injuries, potential deaths (narrowly averted) and potential lawsuits. Partner M also lies and breaks sworn oaths.

2. Partner F expresses her anger, hurt and upset feelings about Partner M's dangerously irresponsible behavior, lying and oath-breaking.

3. M explains to F why she shouldn't be upset about dangerously irresponsible behavior, lying and oath-breaking.

4. F feels invalidated and becomes exponentially more angry, hurt and upset. She is now exponentially more angry, hurt and upset about being told NOT to be angry, hurt and upset, in addition to dangerously irresponsible behaviors, lying and oath-breaking.

5. M eschews personal accountability and personal responsibility individually, categorically and in the aggregate. M chooses not to Express Regret, Accept Responsibility, Make Restitution, Genuinely Repent or Request Forgiveness. In order to shift accountability and responsibility (blame and fault) away from himself, M with premeditation and malice aforethought, deliberately chooses to shift them onto F - by aggressively attacking F and blaming F for making him angry, hurt and upset. He then demands an apology from F before he will consider making up.

6. As M knew F would, F apologizes and wonders what the holy fucking hell just happened. Eventually, when F recognizes this particular stratagem to be increasing in frequency and happening with clockwork regularity, F becomes exponentially more angry, hurt and upset. M has now won the Battle. F wonders why, if M loves her, M treats her like an Enemy and wages Battles against her. F escalates Battle into War. M is never, ever going to win a war against F.

(With Thanks to Gary Chapman's 5 Languages of Apology and John Gray's Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.)

Why We Love the Ones that Hurt Us

skye_ds — Sun, 13 Mar 2011 19:58:43 GMT

(source: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7793375/ns/msnbc_tv-the_abrams_report/)

Why we love the ones who hurt us
Victims of abuse suffer from the Stockholm Syndrome too

By Clint Van Zandt MSNBC analyst & former FBI profiler
updated 6/13/2005 11:02:33 AM ET 2005-06-13T15:02:33

In August 1973, a heavily-armed robber by the name of Olafson swaggered into a busy bank in downtown Stockholm, Sweden. Firing shots as he entered, he took three women and a man hostage, strapped dynamite to their bodies, and herded them into a subterranean bank vault where he refused police demands for his surrender and the release of his hostages for the next six days.

After the eventual arrest of the robbers (a friend of the bank robber who was in prison at the time had been brought mid-standoff to the bank at the demand of Olafson) and the rescue of the four victims, the continued friendly and caring attitude on the part of some of the hostages toward their captors was viewed with suspicion. This was especially so when the police considered that the captives were abused, threatened, and had allegedly feared for their lives during the week they had been held against their will. Authorities were even more amazed when they found out that one or more of the female hostages may have had consensual physical intimacy with their captors.

The relationship between the robbers and their former captives thereafter saw former hostage Kristin break off her engagement to another man in order to become engaged to Olafson; while another former hostage started a defense fund to pay for the robbers' legal defense.

The relationship that develops between hostages and their captors is now known as "the Stockholm Syndrome," a type of emotional bonding that is in reality a survival strategy for victims of emotional and physical abuse— including not only hostages, but also battered spouses and partners, abused children, and even POWs.

Hostage in abusive relationships
Although not victims of a robbery or hostage situation, 700,000 Americans per year experience non-fatal physical domestic violence. There are about 8 million individuals involved in emotionally and physically abusive relationships at any one time. About 20 percent of all women report having been assaulted by an intimate partner in their lifetime. In same-gender partner violence, over half a million gay men are victims of domestic violence. Ten percent of high school students and 40 percent of college students report being assaulted by a date, and 20 to 25 percent of college women report rape during college. The vast majority of rapes and intimate partner violence, whether the victim is male or female, still go unreported.

The bond that exists between the captor/abuser and his or her victim is strong and can compel the victim to stay with (or otherwise support the actions of the abuser) when the need to run is blatantly obvious to everyone but the victim. The investment that one has made in the relationship directly impacts the ability to recognize the negative or threatening aspects of the association. This also affects the ability to either correct or flee.

People share various intimacies with their significant others (who may also be an abuser). Abusers can threaten to tell other people about the "special" aspects of their relationship, if he or she does not do exactly as the abuser says. Victims may have become financially dependent on the abuser and find themselves unable to pay their own way, or they may believe that they can't make it in life without the other's physical and financial support. Many have allowed an abusive relationship to stay hidden from family and friends, and people have stayed in these kinds of relationships so as not to embarrass themselves or their abuser. (One woman whose husband made her "pretend" to beg for physical intimacy with him told me that she'd be too embarrassed for "her husband's sake" to ever ask for help, even though this aspect of their relationship emotionally devastated her.)

Some abused individuals have had children with their abuser; therefore they keep quiet so as not to "damage" their family reputation or otherwise impact on the "stability" of their family, forgetting that to allowing one's self to be abused in front of one's children only paves the way for further victimization. Allowing abuse to go on in a family also sets a negative example that children may follow, perpetuating the abuse from generation to generation.

Why don't victims just leave?
Abused individuals are questioned by family and friends as to why they take the mistreatment and why they just don't leave. This is one of the many situations in life where you must have walked a mile in the shoes of another to understand their situation. A long-term relationship is just that for many of us— long-term. We have invested much of ourselves into the relationship and it just isn't like selling a car that continues to break down. A large part of one's sense of self-worth and self-esteem is likely to have been invested in the relationship and, like the broken down car, we just want it fixed and running— as we neither want nor can afford a new car or a new relationship.

Hostage negotiators know that they cannot argue or otherwise talk a delusional individual out of their delusion. They will not listen to the negotiator, or they will somehow incorporate the negotiator into their delusion. They can write off the negotiator off as someone who "just doesn't understand."

If you are in a long-term abusive relationship, your choice may be to ignore the warnings of others,believing that those opinions could destroy your relationship. The logic goes that the person offering advice simply doesn't understand your situation and doesn't know that their well-meaning advice, if taken, could destroy your relationship with your spouse or partner. But the long-term effects of abuse include depression; suicide or attempted suicide; anxiety; guilt; withdrawal from school, work and social settings; feelings of shame; and symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder (both on the one abused and on any children in the family).

What to do if you're in an abusive relationship
Understand that an abusive individual will continue to abuse you until you stop him or her from doing so, even if it requires you to emotionally and physically separate yourself from your abuser. But don't allow your abuser to separate you from your contact with family and friends. They are your support system and you need them to help you maintain a healthy frame of reference concerning your life, your relationship, and the world.

If the victim of the abusive relationship is your child or a friend, you need to remain supportive and not put even more stress, pressure, and guilt on the abused individual. An abuser can change, but he/she must want to change, and the longer he is allowed to abuse, the less likely he is to alter his behavior. If emotional or physical abuse is present in a dating relationship, know that the abuser is a loser; the abuse will become worse as time goes by, so turn on your heels and move quickly away from the influence of this person. Period.

If you, your friend, or your child is involved in a long-term abusive relationship, including a marriage with children, again know that the abuse is not likely to end without outside assistance. The more you pretend it isn't happening, or the more you accept abusive behavior in your home and within your family, the more will come your way.

I recall a woman who told us that she helped her husband commit a kidnapping and murder because "If he was occupied doing something else, he was too busy to abuse me."

The abuser may threaten you or even himself ("I'll kill myself if you leave," or "I'll lose my job if you tell") in an attempt to control you and keep you as his helpless victim. He may abuse and then— even beg— for your forgiveness, only to reoffend in the near future. If the abuse is due to a mental disorder, a personality disorder, or substance abuse, there is no way that it will get any better. It will definitely get worse. Some victims will become so conditioned to their abuser's actions that they cannot function without the co-dependent relationship with their abuser.

Like cancer, abuse will not heal itself and if left alone, it can destroy your lifestyle and happiness. It may even take your life. Be quick to demand that the abuse ends— and if it doesn't, know that your decision is either to continue to be emotionally and perhaps physically pounded on, or to seek outside help to save the relationship, and possibly save your very life or that of your children.

Not everyone continues to take this abuse and many have successfully altered the behavior within the relationship— or left the relationship to ultimately survive and thrive. We all need to endure the many challenges and traumas of life in ways that preserve our sense of self worth and self-esteem. We don't have to be victims and we don't have to accept abuse at the hands of others, especially a supposed intimate whom we initially trusted and loved and who now hurts us with clock-like regularity. We each have an inner voice that tells us when something is really wrong. In the case of abusive relationships, listen to the voice and then do something about it. Your very life is on the line.

Oh, and by the way. Remember the Stockholm bank robbery where the hostages gave into their captors? In another similar situation, the police sniper had to shoot an armed hostage-taker who was threatening the lives of two female hostages. When shot, the robber fell to the floor, whereupon his two female hostages picked him up off the floor and held him in front of a window so that he could be shot a second time. (No second shot was needed.)

Stay safe!

To those who consider me their Worst Enemies, Thank you for being my best Teachers

skye_ds — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 20:09:19 GMT

One gentleman took the mic and proceed to tell Buck that he was full of beans, didn't know what he was talking about, and had no basis for his point of view. Bucky paused for a moment, looked toward the speaker, and replied, "Thank you."

As Bucky turned toward another person, the gentleman raised his voice and repeated his denunciation of Bucky and his thoughts, a bit more firmly. Again Bucky paused, looked squarely at the speaker, and replied, "Thank you."

Once again, Bucky turned to another and, once again, the gentleman raised his voice, repeated his diatribe and offered quite a bit of angry energy to his comments, asking why he was being dismissed so summarily.

This time Bucky responded something like this: Did you not notice that I paused to consider what you had to say? I looked inside myself to see if some part of me was reacting to what you had said about me, particularly if some part of me were upset, prone to counterattack, or otherwise affected. I have found that when I am in that kind of reaction, there is typically something there for me to learn about myself, something for which I need to improve. In this instance, I found no reaction. Thus, you were simply sharing your opinion to which you are fully entitled and with which I have no argument. Therefore, "Thank you" seemed most appropriate. ~ Bucky Fuller, speaking to an audience in San Francisco

(source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/russell-bishop/could-your-worst-enemy-be_b_452957.html)

skye_ds — Thu, 24 Feb 2011 20:54:44 GMT

"Everyone is doing the best they can with what they know. No one wakes up in the morning and says 'Today I'm going to be the worst person possible'." ~ Linda Giles

Happy Valentine's Day

skye_ds — Tue, 15 Feb 2011 05:22:26 GMT

Dear Husband, 20 years together
Concubine, 9 years together

Love,
me

Families

skye_ds — Thu, 10 Feb 2011 18:40:00 GMT

(source: hazelden.com)

Coping with Families

There are many paths to self-care with families. Some people choose to sever connections with family members for a period of time. Some people choose to stay connected with family members and learn different behaviors. Some disconnect for a time, and then return slowly on a different basis.

There is no one or perfect way to deal with members of our family in recovery. It is up to each of us to choose a path that suits us and our needs at each point in time.

The idea that is new to us in recovery is that we can choose. We can set the boundaries we need to set with family members. We can choose a path that works for us, without guilt and obligation or undue influence from any source, including recovery professionals.

Our goal is to detach in love with family members. Our goal is to be able to take care of ourselves, love ourselves, and live healthy lives despite what family members do or don't do. We decide what boundaries or decisions are necessary to do this.

It's okay to say no to our families when that is what we want. It's okay to say yes to our families if that feels right. It's okay to call time out and it's okay to go back as a different person.

Help me choose the path that is right for me with family. Help me understand there is no right or wrong in this process. Help me strive for forgiveness and learn to detach with love, whenever possible. I understand that this never implies that I have to forfeit self-care and health for the good of the system.

THIS. Just. This.
amen. Amen. AMEN!
I'm not even going to try to express how much this resonates or all the reasons why.

He that cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he must pass himself...

skye_ds — Tue, 08 Feb 2011 18:00:30 GMT

He that cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he must pass himself; for every man has need to be forgiven. -- Thomas Fuller

Often we're afraid to forgive others who've hurt us because we believe that, in doing so, we are permitting what they've done. This is not true. When we forgive, we are saying, "I pardon you, I give up any claim for revenge, you are no longer an enemy."

Relationships are not all black and white. We can forgive people and still not want to spend time with them. Forgiveness is for ourselves. It is a housecleaning of the heart. It feels good to sweep out the resentments and bitterness, lift up the windows, and let in the forgiveness.

Today let me offer forgiveness, either silently or out loud, to someone who has hurt me.
(source: hazelden.com)

the bad, the good and the pretty (as opposed to the good the bad and the ugly)

skye_ds — Fri, 04 Feb 2011 16:49:26 GMT

To make a long story short, yesterday I was given a pop quiz/learning/teaching moment/opportunity for growth.

The Bad: I blew it. Monumentally. Epic Fail. And not only epic fail, not only did I blow it monumentally either, oh no. I was *worse* yesterday than I have been in the past, before I even knew I had a problem. But wait...there's more!... I had a chance to make life better for a neglected/abused horse. And I blew that, too. And that's the part that hurts the worst.

The Good: I knew I blew it, immediately. Minutes afterward, not hours, days, weeks, months or years after the fact. I repented rather remorsefully. I spent a few hours (not a few days, weeks, months or years) discussing what happened and my feelings about what happened with my loved ones. And it will probably not surprise anyone here that they were far more kind, merciful and forgiving of me than I was. I talked about it. I cried about it. I sat with my feelings. I felt my feelings. I did not attempt to possess them, to control them, or to shape them in any way. I let them run their course, like a river. And when I was done with that, I was able to get down to the nitty gritty dirty work of Owning My Own Shit, Taking Responsibility for Myself - not just catching it, but learning from it, and then releasing it. I even managed to do all the dirty work before I had to go to sleep on it. First thing this morning, I set out to apologize and make amends. Because I judge others so very harshly, I can see how it would be hard to believe that I could judge myself more harshly than I ever judge anyone else. And as harshly as others have judged me, I can also see how it would be hard to believe that I also judge myself more harshly than anyone else does. But there it is. I judge myself far more harshly than I judge others, and far more harshly than others judge me. I think that before I practice anything on someone else, I have to practice it on myself first. Self-courtesy. Self-respect. Self-love. Why should this be any different? I have to stop judging myself if I'm going to stop judging others. (Give the witch a cookie, she can be taught!) My loved ones are teaching me about being kind, merciful and forgiving to myself. Thank you for that, and thank you for your patience with me.

The Pretty: I had a wonderful day yesterday with many people I love dearly (Angela, her children Rebekah and Cody, Alex brezhnev, Eric and Marcus). It's snowing. "Bows and flows of angels' hair. Ice cream castles in the air. Feather canyons everywhere." (Both Sides, Now ~ Joni Mitchell). Dry white fluffy powder. The kind that the horses love to play in. Not the cold wet stuff that makes them miserable. Frost on the ground that looks like a million of the tiniest, most flawless, most perfect diamonds studding every blade of grass. Not dangerous ice. My home is a beautiful winter wonderland. Eric and Marcus got to work safely.

Life is Good (even when I'm not.)

Vulnerability

skye_ds — Sat, 29 Jan 2011 22:19:30 GMT

Thanks emmainfiniti via kulilinei

Is there something about me that, if it were known, would make others want to reject me? This is the meaning of shame. The people who feel worthy of love and connection have love and connection. They have the courage to be imperfect. They have the compassion to be kind to themselves. They have the courage to be their authentic selves. They are willing to let go of the person the think they should be and be who they are. They believe that what made them vulnerable makes them beautiful. They are willing to give of them selves and love with their whole hearts, even when there are no guarantees. I want to believe "I am enough." ~ emmainfiniti

I believe that this perfectly illustrates the deepest level of meaning in Aradia's Words Concerning Love:

Love is the gift of the Spirit's blessings. It is the emanation of Spirit within. Love is the Great Attainment. Receive love when it is offered, and offer love regardless. Yet do not allow the duality of love to cause you despair. For love can lift up your heart and it can likewise drag it down. Accept love in the manner in which it comes to you. Do not possess it, or attempt to control it or shape it. For love is free, and shall come or go in its manner.

I love. I am loved. My best wishes for love, life and harmony, for You All. ~namaste~

Everyone is a Mirror

skye_ds — Sat, 29 Jan 2011 03:21:37 GMT

Today, I read:

"I recently met someone at a friend's home whom I took an instant dislike to. Everything about the man got under my skin. He was loud; he didn't listen to others when they spoke; he seemed particularly dismissive of women; he was very judgmental, from my perception; and it seemed we had nothing in common. Then I heard him mention he was in recovery. What a difference that piece of information made to me! I wondered why I was so quick to dismiss him and then just as quickly forgive him his apparent flaws when I found out we shared the most important of all my values.

This gave me a lot of food for thought over the next few days. I had heard all the clichés "you spot it, you got it" and "everyone is a mirror of yourself." I did recognize some of my own characteristics in this man, particularly those that I abhorred, but I still wondered what allowed me to instantly see him differently when I found out we were both in recovery. I haven't completely sorted this out, but I do think having the willingness to set aside my judgments when I want to means I can set them aside even when I don't want to. They have not become hardened in concrete, but are merely hovering over my shoulders until I throw them off. The decision to do so is always as close as my next thought.

What I most realized from this meeting is that this man served as a great learning partner for me – that every person who crosses our path is a potential learning partner. I was willing to cast him aside after judging him and concluding that he had nothing to offer me. In fact, his very presence reminded me once again that every person is "in my face" for a reason, and there's a lesson to be learned, if not now, later." ~ "Everyone is a Potential Learning Partner," source: Today's Gift, Hazelden.com

***

The seven Essene Mirrors:

FIRST MIRROR reflects to us that which we are. It is something we ourselves are doing or where we ourselves have been in error or wounded. ["You spot it, you got it."]

SECOND MIRROR reflects to us that which we judge. It is something we have an emotional charge with, something we have either been wounded by in the past and have not forgiven. It is good to discern; however if we judge and condemn with an emotional charge, we will attract exactly what we judge into our lives.

THIRD MIRROR reflects back to us something we Lost, Gave Away, or had Taken Away. When we see something we love and desire in another, it is often something we have lost, given away or had stolen in our own lives. Every relationship is a relationship with self and often we try to reclaim what was lost, we gave away, or had taken away as a child. It could be joy, innocence, honesty and integrity, courage or love. All of which can be reclaimed within self.

FOURTH MIRROR reflects back to us our most forgotten love. This could be a way of life, a lost or unfinished relationship. Often it is a past life where a wrong conclusion from past experience was created. These will recreate themselves over and over until the right conclusion is registered in the soul as wisdom.

FIFTH MIRROR reflects back to us Father/Mother. It is often said we marry our father or mother. We also often become them acting out the same healthy and unhealthy patterns we learned as a child. Our fathers and mothers to us as children are Gods. It will often reflect the same relationship we have with others and the Father/Mother God principle.

SIXTH MIRROR reflects back to us the Quest for Darkness or what is often referred to as the Dark Night of the Soul. This is when we meet our greatest challenges, our greatest fears and have been gathering the tools and understandings in life to confront them. God never gives one any more than they can handle and we have a choice in every experience to greet it as a powerful manifesting God/Goddess or a victim.

SEVENTH MIRROR reflects back to us our self-perception. Others will perceive and treat us according to how we perceive and treat ourselves. If we have a low self-esteem and do not acknowledge our wisdom and beauty, others will not acknowledge them. If we are angry, bitter and unloving to others, they in turn will often react in the same way towards us. If we change our perception of ourselves, we change the world. Maybe it is time to be kind, loving and compassionate to ourselves and others. Remember the saying, “The only reason anyone has power over you is you want something from them.” Whether it be love, joy, or a personal God connection, maybe that something can be found within…
~ source: http://newconnexion.net/articles/index.cfm/2000/11/essene.html

***

"One of the most difficult challenges in life is learning not to take things to heart and hold on to it. Especially when we’re younger, or if we’re very sensitive, we take so much of what comes our way to heart. This can be overwhelming and unproductive if it throws us off balance on a regular basis. When we are feeling criticized or attacked from all directions, it becomes very difficult for us to recover ourselves so that we can continue to speak and act our truth. This is when we would do well to remember the old saying about letting certain things roll off us, like water off a duck’s back.

Most of the time, the attacks and criticisms of others have much more to do with them and how they are feeling than with us. If we get caught up in trying to adjust ourselves to other people’s negative energy, we lose touch with our core. In fact, in a positive light, these slings and arrows offer us the opportunity to strengthen our core sense of self, and to learn to dodge and deflect other people’s misdirected negativity. The more we do this, the more we are able to discern what belongs to us and what belongs to other people. With practice, we become masters of our energetic integrity, refusing to serve as targets for the disowned anger and frustration of the people around us.

Eventually, we will be able to hear the feedback that others have to offer, taking in anything that might actually be constructive, and releasing that which has nothing to do with us. First, though, we tend ourselves compassionately by recognizing when we can’t take something in from the outside without hurting ourselves. This is when we make like a duck, shaking it off and letting it roll off our back as we continue our way in the world." ~ DailyOM.com

***

And what I came up with is

"Everyone is a mirror of yourself." Yes; however, the lesson to be learned may not be "you spot it, you got it." That is only the first of seven different lessons that may be learned, called the Seven Essene Mirrors.

I train horses and teach children using baby steps and positive reinforcement. I throw a party to celebrate every successful baby step a child or a horse takes. I try to train and teach myself the same way. I am infinitely patient with horses and children, but I have no patience with myself. My lessons lately have not been Mirror 1 ("you spot it, you got it.") My lessons have been Mirror 7 (Self Perception / You teach people how to treat you) and Mirror 2 (Judgment). The Mirrors aren't interested in Truth, they're just interested in the Facts (just the facts, ma'am).

Mirror 7 - Self Perception / You Teach People How to Treat You

Truth:
"Don’t take anything personally - Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering." ~ Agmt 2, Don Miguel Ruiz

"Don’t believe me, don’t believe yourself, and don’t believe anyone else." ~ Agmt 5, Don Miguel Ruiz

I am solely responsible for writing the Book of Skye and producing the Movie of Skye. I know Me, better than anyone else knows Me. The Me that I know *is* kind, loving and compassionate to the hearts and minds of those around me. I don't belittle the beliefs of others. I simply state my Truth, and I strive to be at peace with those who differ.

Fact:
Up until about 5 years ago, I reacted to being Done Wrong with pure, instinctive reflex. When angry, bitter and unloving attacks and criticism came at me, I responded by returning fire. And while I was defending myself by Doing Wrong back to those who had Done Wrong to me first, I was judging them harshly for Doing Wrong to me in the first place. Stating my Truth, acting my Truth and striving to be at peace used to go right out the window.

*Serious* disconnect there between Fact (outward, tangible, empirical) and Truth (inner gnosis/knowledge). For over 5 years now, I've dedicated myself to taking baby steps towards reconnecting my inner Truth with my outer Fact. I have been working very hard on being kind, loving and compassionate, to myself and to others, even when others are attacking & criticizing me, even when others are being angry, bitter & unloving to me. I can look back at where I started years ago, & I can see that I have been the change I wanted to see. I'm not there yet, but I'm getting there. I celebrate my progress by acknowledging my own Self-Esteem, Wisdom and Beauty. When I'm happy (Truth), I need to inform my face and *Smile* (Fact.) :D

Mirror 2 - Judgment.

Truth: I am open-minded in many ways. I don't belittle nor judge others on the basis of race, age, gender, religion, height, weight, nationality, disability, sexual orientation or gender identity. I state my own Truth, and I strive to be at peace with those who differ. I truly believe in The Ethic of Reciprocity: 1) One should treat others as one would like others to treat oneself (Golden Rule - positive form), and 2) One should not treat others in ways that one would not like to be treated (Silver Rule - negative/prohibitive form). I am pagan, poly, bisexual, kinky and politically independent with Libertarian leanings. I don't want anyone else minding my business, be it my wallet, my bedroom, my spirituality or my politics, and likewise I don't want to be minding the business of anyone else. I truly believe in personal freedom (civil liberties), economic freedom (free markets) and peace. How much more open-minded could anyone be, without letting their brains fall out? (which defeats the purpose)

Fact: I AM proud, I AM prejudiced, and I AM harshly judgmental, about many things:
* Lying: All forms of dishonesty, including lies of omission, lies of commission, hypocrisy, someone lying to me, someone lying about me, and someone calling me a liar.
* Stupidity: Not to be confused with Ignorance. Ignorance is the state of innocence and not knowing. We all start out ignorant, tabula rasa. Stupidity is the willful, deliberate choice to remain ignorant rather than to learn, to be taught, to be educated.
* Meanness: Having the willful and malicious intent as well as the ability to cause physical, mental, spiritual or emotional Harm to another. (Not to be confused with self-defense, when it is necessary to prevent Harm to yourself or another.) This includes but is not limited to being frankly brutal, belittling others, behaving angrily, bitterly and unloving towards others.
* Extra bonus points if lying, stupidity or meanness harms innocent animals, children or other living things.

As much as I believe myself to be inclusive in my thinking, I still pass harsh judgments on people and situations. The Mirror of Judgment points out to me, that while I don't stereotype in the typical sense of the word, I do draw conclusions about people and situations - who they are, their values, priorities, strengths, interests, gifts, and skills. And, then I put them in their own private "labeled box" and this is what I know about them. While I'm not stereotyping, I'm leaving people very little wiggle room for change. I'm damn well judging people and situations harshly. This Mirror of Judgment is damned disconcerting. What a Nasty Surprise! I don't like the Proud, Prejudiced, Judgmental Bitch in the Mirror; I do not like her AT ALL.

Surrendering harsh judgment of others does not mean I have to give up discernment in separating reality from illusion. I can practice discernment without judgment. I can be firm without being harsh. Discernment is an inner guide or compass. It's all about me. It is loving and expansive, and offers freedom, honor and options. Judgment on the other hand dishonors, condemns, and contradicts. Judgment is all about others. It always sets up a polarity or emotional value of this is good and this is bad. An example of this is: Person A looks at Person B and decides that Person B is a Bad Person: particularly abusive and/or dismissive of partners, narcissistic, loud, obnoxious, and doesn't listen when others speak.

Being judgmental forms a vicious cycle. The very nature of judgment is to always focus or look at the bad. And since "like attracts like," looking for the bad creates a primary focus for confirmation bias. The alarming reality of this is that not only does one only focus on the bad in others, but that is all they can see about themselves. To be honest, one first becomes intimate with their own feelings of shame and inferiority. Then as a way to get relief, they target someone else to shame, so they can feel superior (rather than inferior).

Discernment on the other hand is assessing a situation objectively, with no emotional attachment, to decide what ones decision is. In this case: Person A looks at Person B and decides they do not care for various behaviors of Person B. Discernment is all about oneself. This is not for me. Discernment does not offer excuses, blame others or make empty promises. Discerning individuals do not change the facts to what they think they should say, they conform their actions to the facts. They don't throw out facts to fit their theories. They conform their theories to the facts.

Discerning individuals accept others just as they are. And they are aware they have choices or options that can assist them so their best interest is served. For example, I accept that someone in my social circle makes fun of / talks trash about other members of our social circle, when they aren't present / behind their backs. For me, this is not something I enjoy hearing or taking a part in. In a conversation, if I notice she is doing this, I have options as to what I choose to do. I can change the direction of the conversation to a topic that we both enjoy, or I can excuse myself politely from her company and walk away. Discernment is all about choosing what kind of experience and life I want for myself.

Here is what I want to see when I look into the Mirror:
* I know disagreeing is an acceptable option
* I am in charge of my life, and ready to make choices
* I know NO THANK YOU is an acceptable response.
* I realize some people may not like or agree with my decision and choices.
* I choose what brings me peace.
* I can say No, and I can hear No when someone says No to me. I can say Yes, and I can hear Yes when someone says Yes to me.
* If in the process I feel uncomfortable, I know this is acceptable, as I am painstakingly forming a new habit that serves me

If I return fire, and I am judgmental, then I am a Young soul. I see Good people (saints) and Bad people (sinners). I blame other people (Bad people / agents / sinners) for what I Do. If I do not return fire, but I am still judgmental, then I am an Old soul. I see Good people who are imperfect and sometimes do Bad things. I may separate the action from the agent. I may separate the sin from the sinner. But, I still blame the actions of others (sins) for what I Think. To be a mature soul, I will look into one of the Seven Mirrors, and I will see only myself. I will make choices and take sole responsibility for what I Do, what I Think, and for following my own bliss (my happiness).

I choose to discern rather than judge, and to be gentle but firm, rather than harsh, from here on out. But, I do realize that harsh judgment does exist within me, unconsciously at times, formed from past belief systems and old habits that I haven't yet released. So if I do catch myself judging harshly, I will not harshly judge myself! I will simply be thankful it came up to be recognized, and I will release it. I have the option to "switch gears," to discern, and to be gentle but firm at the next opportunity. I'll do better next time. As long as I'm always doing my best (Ruiz Agmt 4).

The true use of speech is not so much to express our wants as to conceal them. --Oliver Goldsmith

skye_ds — Tue, 25 Jan 2011 22:17:40 GMT

Today's Gift from hazelden.com:

The true use of speech is not so much to express our wants as to conceal them.
--Oliver Goldsmith

Learning to communicate, for little children, means squeezing huge desires into little words, like "hurt" or "cookie." We learn early that we're only going to get part of what we want.

Some of us never recover from this disappointment. We use words to manipulate others, to hide our feelings. We may imagine that we have the power to control others, and so we tell ingenious stories to mask what we think is our naked strength.

But we're deluding ourselves, rather than other people. The strategy of falsehood and control finally traps us in a web of lies, where even we don't know what we want. Clarity is a choice, and so is happiness, if we want to choose them.

Bring the Faire to Ye: Renaissance Everywhere

skye_ds — Tue, 25 Jan 2011 05:24:23 GMT

http://sa-shenanigans.webs.com/renaissanceeverywhere.htm

Renaissance Everywhere!

Bring The Faire To Ye!

When: February 5th, 2011
10 am to 7 pm

Objective: To bring a renaissance faire to different places and stores in San Antonio.

Dress in your best medieval/renaissance/fantasy outfit! Don't be afraid to go all out and do hair and makeup. We will parade the streets of San Antonio, act out skits and have a merry good time! You can find costumes on ebay, amazon or event costumes stores in town.

We want to make this event as massive as possible. Please advertise! If you wish to volunteer for this event, please fill out a register form!

Character

skye_ds — Tue, 25 Jan 2011 02:23:05 GMT

People with courage and character always seem sinister to the rest - Hermann Hesse (1877-1962)

If a man's character is to be abused there's nobody like a relative to do the business. ~ Alexander Pope

Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. ~ Abraham Lincoln

Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are. ~ John Wooden

When we see persons of worth, we should think of equaling them; when we see persons of a contrary character, we should turn inwards and examine ourselves. ~ Confucius

I care not what others think of what I do, but I care very much about what I think of what I do! That is character! ~ Teddy Roosevelt

Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street. ~
Elbert Hubbard

Buddha ~ The Sermon on Abuse

And the Blessed One observed the ways of society
and noticed how much misery came from malignity and foolish offences
done only to gratify vanity and self-seeking pride.

And the Buddha said:
"If a man foolishly does me wrong,
I will return to him the protection of my ungrudging love;
the more evil comes from him, the more good shall go from me;
the fragrance of goodness always comes to me,
and the harmful air of evil goes to him."

A foolish man learning that the Buddha observed the principle of great love
which commends the return of good for evil, came and abused him.
The Buddha was silent, pitying his folly.

When the man had finished his abuse,
the Buddha asked him, saying:
"Son, if a man declined to accept a present made to him,
to whom would it belong?"
And he answered:
"In that case it would belong
to the man who offered it."

"My son," said the Buddha,
"thou hast railed at me,
but I decline to accept thy abuse,
and request thee to keep it thyself.
Will it not be a source of misery to thee?
As the echo belongs to the sound,
and the shadow to the substance,
so misery will overtake the evil-doer without fail."

The abuser made no reply, and Buddha continued:

"A wicked man who reproaches a virtuous one
is like one who looks up and spits at heaven;
the spittle soils not the heaven,
but comes back and defiles his own person.

"The slanderer is like one
who flings dust at another when the wind is contrary;
the dust does not but return on him who threw it.
The virtuous man cannot be hurt
and the misery that the other would inflict
comes back on himself."