I now own your ass!

Intervention

2011-03-15T10:15:02Z

Hugh Laurie's run out of credit with me and man, did he have credit with me for ABOFAL, Jeeves & Wooster, Blackadder and even Peter's Friends. Cue to m'colleague!

Wit is a huge turn on!

2010-03-05T16:32:02Z

Genius, intelligence, talent, kindness, gutsiness, vulnerability, wisdom, foulmouthedness, verbal wizardry... I ADORE Stephen Fry! Unfortunately YouTube has taken down the Craig Ferguson interview posted here before.
I will always love Mr Fry just for this documentary, The Secret Life Of The Manic Depressive, alone. Get the DVD if you can get your hands on it!

Movie Quotes Quiz/Meme thingy

2010-02-25T00:55:12Z

Inspired by damelola 's promise that she'll guess all of them, even if she's wrong and since I have no other f'listers (who know me well enough) to play games, this is just for the fun of it, mine predominantly. Sorry for the deranged potty-mouthedness of my quotes of choice. It scared me a bit too, especially since I have all these films on DVD and this is just a selection of the English spoken ones.

1. Pick 15 of your favourite movies.
2. Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie.
3. Post them here for everyone to guess.
4. Fill in the film title once it's guessed.
5. NO GOOGLING/using IMDb search functions.

#1 “Try the cock, Albert. It's a delicacy, and you know where it's been.” < The Cook, The Thief, His Wife And Her Lover (Dame Helen Mirren), guessed by lauriestein

#2 “Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive.” < Damage

#3 “I've been called a son of a you-know-what plenty of times, but I've never been called a son of God.” < Dead Man Walking (awesome Sean Penn with awesome Susan Sarandon), guessed by lauriestein

#4 “I don't mean to be flippant or to enrage you or anything, but you're a psychotic man.” < The Fisher King

#5 “I've often thought that there should be beauty contests for the *insides* of bodies.” < Dead Ringers (my man Jeremy Irons), guessed by lauriestein

#6 “We all have our little foibles, and mine is the prompt settling of accounts.” < A Room With A View

#7 “We don't really move, we'd like to but... my mom is sort of attached to the house. Attached isn't really the right word, she's pretty much wedged in.” < What's Eating Gilbert Grape (Depp back in the days when), guessed by Satya

#8 “In a good shoe, I wear a size six, but a seven feels so good, I buy a size eight.” < Steel Magnolias (Dolly Parton in a film that cannot but move your heart strings), guessed by lauriestein

#9 “You're going to meet the most extraordinary men, the sexiest, brightest, funniest men, and you're going to fall in love with so many of them, and you won't know until the end of your life who your greatest friends were or your greatest love was.” < Milk (Sean Penn as Harvey Milk), guessed by lauriestein

#10 “Well, guess what, bitch? I'm better than Annie Oakley and I've got you right in my sights, so let's talk.” < Kill Bill, volume 2 (Uma Thurman for Quentin Tarantino), guessed by lesaubergines

#11 “- Can I ask how you've been? - For the past twenty years? Well, you know... ups and downs.” < After The Wedding

#12 “But our trip was different. It was to be a classic affirmation of everything right and true in the national character. A gross physical salute to the fantastic possibilities of life in this country. But only for those with true grit.” < Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas (Depp, who can be a damn fine actor, with Benicio del Toro in a Terry Gilliam film), guessed by lauriestein

#13 “Madge, have you any objections if I scare your husband so that he'll never look at another woman?” < Top Hat

#14 “You will live on a diet of saltines and Tang, and you will never leave this room again.” < Hairspray, guessed by lauriestein

#15 “- You can't just go 'round killing people just because you don't approve of them! - You know, that's what my doctors used to say. It was the one point we could never agree on.” < Keeping Mum (Kristin Scott Thomas and Dame Maggie Smith), guessed by fionaswaltz

Kate McGarrigle

2010-01-19T23:17:22Z

Yesterday Kate McGarrigle lost her battle against cancer and the world's a sadder place without her.
www.mcgarrigles.com/uncategorized/kate-mcgarrigle-1946-2010

Stella By Artois
(K. McGarrigle)

In Rotterdam, '77
I had a birthday
We were on the road to nowhere
Lookin' for somewhere to make it a night
To call it a day

And we drank cheap champagne from Italy
It was pink, alcoholic, and bubbly
And the boys in the band gave me a candle
Matches to light it for my bedside table
And I let you light it for the very first time that night

So light the candle one more time
For tomorrow I’ll be goin’ and I’ve grown used to the light
Night after night, the same flame glowin’
Won’t you light it just one more time

God knows, I want to stay
By your side, night and day
And to hold you and be held in return
As we did from the south of France clear through to Galway
I can’t help the things that I say

In Rotterdam, '77
I had a birthday

Mr Dalliard!

2009-11-10T15:31:37Z

Love this sketch from A Bit Of Fry And Laurie, season 4 from 1994. Hugh Laurie should really return to comedy, preferably with the magnificent Stephen Fry. Good morning? Mr Dalliard!

Birth month meme

2009-10-13T20:47:24Z

Snagged from laura27md

* Find your birth month and paste it at the top.
* Strike what doesn't apply; highlight what does.
* Post that and all twelve months under an LJ cut.

JANUARY: ~~Stubborn and hard-hearted.~~ Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. ~~Likes to criticize.~~ Hardworking and productive. Smart, ~~neat and organized~~. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses ~~but prone to colds.~~ Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. ~~Loves children.~~ Loyal. Has great social abilities ~~yet easily jealous.~~ Very stubborn and money cautious.

JANUARY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.

FEBRUARY: Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizes dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH: Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves travelling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

APRIL: Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

MAY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

JUNE: Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

JULY: Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

AUGUST: Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride in oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

SEPTEMBER: Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

OCTOBER: Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

NOVEMBER: Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.

DECEMBER: Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egotistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.

Boobie Wednesday

2009-09-30T16:24:06Z

Nearly October and breast cancer awareness month, girls AND boys! Contribute in a serious, for serious is what cancer is, and a fun way. Read this blog and change the settings to your Twitter account and/or your default LJ icon. Women, and men, are suffering and dying and we need to do everything to prevent that. Talking about the issue and boobs in general certainly helps. Also check those girls regularly!

boobiewednesday.blogspot.com/

Wha?

2009-09-24T14:28:05Z

Barry Humphries' Dame Edna smashing Piers Morgan's ego to pieces. Never fails to make me laugh. Plus David Walliams and Matt Lucas roaring with laughter is a nice bonus.

Hugh Laurie at the Emmys

2009-09-21T14:07:23Z

Now it's obvious that I'm a huge Lisa Edelstein fan and that I think her creation of Cuddy should get more credit and awards and appreciation and screen time and love and sex. Lisa Edelstein is pure hotness and the object of my desire and inspiration and House would lose all interest for me without her and Hugh Laurie is, IMO, a better actor for having her play opposite him. I love seeing them bounce off each other on the show and off (Paley center for instance). Huddy (such an unattractive word) all the way.

I am, however, not a HuLi and this is why:

Now don't start on how she doesn't deserve him and how LE should get him as she's so much prettier and sexier and what have you. Jo Green is HL's chosen wife and mother to his three children and has been for over 20 years with all their ups and downs. IMO, these photos show what that entails. If you can't see that here, you can't see it but I think these photos are cute. There, I've said it! Carry on.

Easy reading is damn hard writing

2009-08-31T15:36:14Z

Blog post by the wonderful Doris Egan to whom I and many other House MD fans are particularly indebted but this goes for all screen writers really. What can one do but spread her message?

tightropegirl.livejournal.com/18848.html

Sheer spreading rapture

2009-08-25T14:42:34Z

Don't vex Stephen Fry for he's the master in telling you off in the most charming yet deadliest way. So, boys and girls, keep your flaming and your blasting and the full flavour of your invective to yourself and may you burst with chagrin in the process.

Since I can't seem to do an LJ cut, here's the transcript of that AudioBoo in full.

YeehahBoo

Oh my! Oh my, oh my, oh my! I have already tweeted how happy I am. How entirely overtaken by exultation and joy, how enraptured, how bathing in a bath of bliss, how entirely euphoric, how elated, how completely content. I suppose I’m on to address this Audioboo to those of you who, for reasons I can understand, have tweeted me to say that cricket is ‘Oh yawn, yawn’ or it’s ‘like watching paint dry’ or ‘Zzzzzzzz’. Lots of people feel the need, not to ignore the tweets because cricket isn’t for them, but to let me know how stupid I am for loving cricket. Ehm, it’s a strange thing about human nature, when we love something we feel the need to communicate it but even more so, especially in the age of the Internet, when we hate something we feel the need to communicate it. We feel the need to comment, we feel the need to flame, to blast our perceived enemies with the eh, full flavour of our invective and it’s eh... One of the things that’s most dispiriting I suppose, is that eh, hate is easier and flaming is easier than eh, impassioned defence and love. And I’m not here to defend cricket. If you don’t get it, you don’t get it. If you don’t like it, you don’t like it. But surely you can understand that when people are so absolutely burst with happiness, so surged with contentment and well being and joy and pride and connection, an absolute vindication of their hopes. And their fears and their most terrified nightmares suddenly have come and turned round and become this fantastic result, surely you can understand that that happiness is not a result of boredom. We don’t enjoy cricket because we like being bored. So all I’m asking for is to give us a bit of credit. Those of us who are excited have known and touched levels of happiness and pride which very few other things can give us. And it may be that ultimately it’s irrelevant and stupid and it’s just people in white shirts and trousers playing with a ball and taking five days to do it and yes, you can always make arguments for it being banal and stupid as a pastime and as a way of eh, a way of investing one’s emotional commitment. But eh, you can’t argue with the result of the sheer joy, the sheer spreading rapture that those of us who are happy feel. So I eh, just wanted to make a note of that. Anyway.

Hahaaa, I’m so happy!

Fry and m'colleague

2009-07-18T15:53:10Z

Comfort viewing. Love Jeeves and Wooster, love Fry and Laurie.

Frusciante

2009-06-22T15:59:44Z

This man is jawdroppingly good! Love, love, love the guitar god! So glad he pulled through.

Women!

2009-05-27T14:28:10Z

Admiration, fascination, emulation and, in some cases, plain fancying.

Lorca and Cohen

2009-04-03T21:08:24Z

Take This Waltz

Now in Vienna there are ten pretty women.
There's a shoulder where death comes to cry.
There's a lobby with nine hundred windows.
There's a tree where the doves go to die.
There's a piece that was torn from the morning,
and it hangs in the Gallery of Frost
Ay, ay ay ay
Take this waltz, take this waltz,
take this waltz with the clamp on its jaws.

I want you, I want you, I want you
on a chair with a dead magazine.
In the cave at the tip of the lily,
in some hallway where love's never been.
On a bed where the moon has been sweating,
in a cry filled with footsteps and sand --
Ay, ay ay ay
Take this waltz, take this waltz,
take its broken waist in your hand.

This waltz, this waltz, this waltz, this waltz
with its very own breath
of brandy and death,
dragging its tail in the sea.

There's a concert hall in Vienna
where your mouth had a thousand reviews.
There's a bar where the boys have stopped talking,
they've been sentenced to death by the blues.
Ah, but who is it climbs to your picture
with a garland of freshly cut tears?
Ay, ay ay ay
Take this waltz, take this waltz,
take this waltz, it's been dying for years.

There's an attic where children are playing,
where I've got to lie down with you soon,
in a dream of Hungarian lanterns,
in the mist of some sweet afternoon.
And I'll see what you've chained to your sorrow,
all your sheep and your lilies of snow --
Ay, ay ay ay
Take this waltz, take this waltz
with its "I'll never forget you, you know!"

And I'll dance with you in Vienna,
I'll be wearing a river's disguise.
The hyacinth wild on my shoulder
my mouth on the dew of your thighs.
And I'll bury my soul in a scrapbook,
with the photographs there and the moss.
And I'll yield to the flood of your beauty,
my cheap violin and my cross.
And you'll carry me down on your dancing
to the pools that you lift on your wrist --
O my love, O my love
Take this waltz, take this waltz,
it's yours now. It's all that there is.

Leonard Cohen

Noel Coward and my man

2009-03-29T19:15:10Z

Finally someone uploaded the five Noel Coward songs Jeremy sang on the Last Night of the Proms in 1999. Give me JI and I'll never ever ask for anything else!

Nice article: JI on Broadway

2009-03-22T20:00:43Z

THEATER

Off-kilter is still Jeremy Irons' calling

On Broadway in 'Impressionism,' Irons turns to what he's moved to portray: the damaged soul.

By Patrick Pacheco
March 22, 2009

Reporting from New York -- In "Impressionism," the new play by Michael Jacobs, art gallery owner Katharine Keenan (Joan Allen) playfully teases shy colleague Thomas Buckle about "a hideous sexual problem."

That figures. After all, Thomas is played by Jeremy Irons, who has never shied away from adding portraits of damaged characters to his own gallery, including the creepy Humbert Humbert in "Lolita"; the obsessively weird physicians in David Cronenberg's "Dead Ringers"; murder suspect Claus von Bulow in "Reversal of Fortune," for which he won an Oscar; and even the deliciously evil Scar in "The Lion King." The latest is the villain in Ed Harris' "Appaloosa," which he did for love, and the playboy in "Pink Panther 2," which he did for money.

Irons, 60, is delighted that audiences would hardly find it a surprise that he's trotting out yet another oddball. "Well, for Thomas, that 'hideous sexual problem' is nothing more than not having much sex," says the actor, in his dressing room at Broadway's Gerald Schoenfeld Theatre, where the drama opens Tuesday. And for Irons himself?

"Well, fortunately I don't have one," he says, perched on the sill of an open window and thoughtfully puffing on his self-rolled brown cigarettes. "Not more than anybody else, that is. But I have to say I am attracted to 'problem' plays like this one, both in structure and in content. I mean, it's damage that unites us all as human beings, doesn't it?"

In person, the man who was once described as "the thinking woman's pinup" appears more vibrant and less haunted than the characters he is often called upon to play. Certainly no more so than Thomas, a photojournalist, who arrives at Katharine's gallery heartbroken and bereft. His inability to save a young boy in Africa has left him at sea, an emotional paralysis shared by Katharine, who has her own roadblocks to intimacy.

"It's an eccentric, highly unusual play," says Irons of the drama that has brought the classically trained British actor back to Broadway more than two decades after his Tony-winning performance in Tom Stoppard's "The Real Thing." It's not been an easy journey. "Impressionism" atypically had no previous development, and its original opening was postponed for a couple of weeks after preview audiences found the play confusing, in part because Allen and Irons are called upon to play multiple roles.

"It has been something of a trial finding Thomas," says Irons, adding that he first dismissed the play as a "load of baloney" until he was convinced otherwise by a reread of the layered scenes that move the oddly matched couple toward love. Irons says he was also influenced by the involvement of director Jack O'Brien and Allen, with whom he had just costarred in a Lifetime special about artist Georgia O'Keeffe and photographer Alfred Stieglitz. "I'm much more gut than cerebral, and I just felt what the play had to say about grown-up love and loss was something I wanted to hear."

Irons is no stranger to love and loss, freely admitting that he infuses his varied roles with the emotional scar tissue of his past. He locates his first trauma when his parents -- his father, an accountant; his mother, a homemaker -- dropped him off at a boarding school at age 7. He felt totally abandoned after an idyllic childhood spent on the Isle of Wight with two elder siblings. This was followed by two other ruptures: a painful split with a boyhood chum and his parents' divorce.

"I've never been in therapy; I like my rough edges, not knowing things about me," Irons says. "But I recently wondered about an event when I was young that made me intensely angry, angrier than I'd ever been before." Recalls Irons, at 14 he would often bike four miles into the countryside with his classmate, Henry, to shoot pigeons, drink beer and flirt with a family's daughter at a nearby farmhouse. They were both musicians (Irons started his career as a busker) and the school "anarchists." "We would bend any rule," he says. "And one day, I asked Henry, 'Are you coming along?' And he said, 'No,' by which he meant to say, 'I'm a different person, I'm not a part of you, I'm separate.' And I felt so terribly alone."

Irons says he recovered from this feeling of alienation as well as his parents' divorce the following year in the manner that most people do: retreating into a social carapace. He admits he's terrible at parties, can't stand the Hollywood scene and much prefers the relative isolation of his castle in Ireland where he lives with his wife, actress Sinead Cusack. The couple have two sons, Samuel, 31, and Max, 24. "But it's the peeling back of that carapace, really getting to know the heart and soul of a person, that is the most glorious journey that a person can take," he says. "That's probably why I became an actor and perhaps why I am so strong in that particular area."

The patient "peeling back," Irons says, came when he met Cusack after a disastrously short first marriage, at 21, to actress Julie Hallam. "We were just too young," he says. "I'd been living with her for three years and when her mother said, 'Are you going to get married?' I thought it only gentlemanly to say, 'Yes,' rather than, 'No, I just want to go on screwing your daughter.' " Still, the actor says he was crushed by the split and threw himself into dating a lot. "I'm a terrible flirt, I adore women, I really love getting to know them," he says. "But when I met Sinead, I thought to myself, 'Right, this girl has legs. This relationship could work.' "

More than three decades of marriage later, Irons says he takes nothing for granted about "the real thing." He says that when his parents divorced, he watched as his father went on to another spouse and, in his opinion, wasn't necessarily the happier or more satisfied for it. "I really value family, I've fought for it," he says. "Sinead and I have had difficult times, every marriage does because people are impossible. I'm impossible, my wife's impossible, life's impossible. But I do know that it won't be any more possible with anybody else."

Still, as committed as he is to Cusack, Irons says that he always holds something back, "just for self-protection." That is why he was so attracted to playing the injured Thomas in "Impressionism." The actor recalls that on a recent Saturday night, he was shopping near his flat in Greenwich Village when he happened to pass a Catholic church. The 6 o'clock Mass was in progress and he stayed for it. "I'm not a great churchgoer," he says, taking a puff of his cigarette. "But I looked around and I thought to myself, 'All these people are here because on some fundamental level they're admitting to themselves that they are in some way damaged, lacking. . . . They need something.' And that's why I liked sitting there with them."

www.latimes.com/entertainment/la-ca-jeremy-irons22-2009mar22,0,757871.story

Sitcom quotes

2009-03-09T16:59:57Z

I'd like to engage in witty repartee with you but I don't have the time and you don't have the wit.
Susan Harper in My family

I can tell by your inflection that you think what you're saying is funny, but... no.
Karen Walker in Will and Grace

Honey, I'm too tired to slap you. Bash your face up against my palm.
Karen Walker in Will and Grace

You've really worked out your banter, haven't you?
No, not really. This is a different thing, it's spontaneous and it's called wit.
Lord Blackadder in Blackadder II

Repression is key to a happy family!
Dr Mary Albright in 3rd Rock from the Sun

House MD quotes

2009-03-09T16:54:47Z

My personal favourites collected while (re)watching the show. Great site for House quotes http://www.housemdquotes.com/

H: - It was so perfect. It was beautiful.
W: - Beauty often seduces us on the road to truth.
H: - And triteness kicks us in the gonads.
'Occam's Razor'

H: - I kinda hit that last night, so now she's all on my jock.
13: - Wow! She looks pretty good for someone on roofies.
'The Itch'

[on unconditional love] Everything's conditional. You just can't always anticipate the conditions.
'Son of a Coma Guy'

It's a fake thing. There's no unconditional love. It's just unconditional need.
'Joy'

H: - You know, relative to their size, gorillas have smaller testicles than humans.
C: - Well, then you probably have an edge over a gorilla but not over me.
'All in'

W: - Obsession is dangerous.
H: - Only if you're on a wooden ship and your obsession is a whale. I think I'm in the clear.
W: - You do realize it's a metaphor?
H: - You do realize that the point of metaphors is to scare people from doing things by telling them that something much scarier is going to happen, than what will really happen? God, I wish I had a metaphor to explain that better.
'All in'

H: - You’re supposed to stop me; renegotiate.
C: - Hmm, and you’re supposed to keep on walking, Sorry, guess we both screwed up. Go on, do it again!
'Three Stories'