The Nonsensical Ravings of a Lunatic Mind

Let's celebrate! My blog is 13 years old

singeaddams — Mon, 27 Jun 2022 14:58:50 GMT

Here we go again...

singeaddams — Wed, 19 Jan 2022 16:14:15 GMT

Another storm! Ice, snow, sleet, freezing rain, plague of frogs etc will be pelting down from Thursday night until Saturday afternoon. I've already told everyone at work that I'm not going out into that mess on Friday but I get the feeling they're humoring me. People, I mean it, I will never be so committed to my job that I'll risk my neck to reach it (and the buses won't be running anyway.) Right now I'm making an emergency grocery list: salsa, refried beans, hamburger, cheese... I'm having storm tacos before the lights go out. Some food for the cat, too, of course.

Speaking of, Polly's in hell. She makes my dishes rattle when she walks so I've cut her food down. Now she stands by her food bowl and stares off into the distance, with dignity, while she waits for me to do the right thing but I never do. Then she tries to Jedi mind-trick me but my will is too strong. It's annoying to be stared at for hours, though, so I'm going to reintroduce a squirt bottle into our relationship. Her life is so hard.

Anyway, I'm actually looking forward to the snowstorm. It'll be good to have a three day weekend but we'll see what Thursday's forecast says before I get too excited. .

Storm's a'comin,' Maw!

singeaddams — Fri, 14 Jan 2022 15:48:33 GMT

Bad ice storm is hitting us on Sunday OR it's just going to be a bit of chilly rain. Who knows? I've decided to join the herd running to the store anyway. I actually do need bread, milk, and eggs! And maybe a few cans of soup. I always give all my canned supplies away to food drives during the holidays so I need to rebuild. Also, the cold/flu section has become very skimpy since Omicron arrived (luckily I already had what I needed for my miserable cold) so I've ordered huge bottles of meds on Amazon and they arrived yesterday.

I'm ready! Disaster prep is fun and I'm going to enjoy eating snacks and watching the frustrated weather people drive around in STORM TRACKER FIVE looking for disasters.

Speaking of my cold, it's finally starting to release its kung-fu grip. I can breathe! And I can sleep. I slept like a drunken baby log last night and it was wonderful. .

Winter at last...

singeaddams — Mon, 03 Jan 2022 16:55:28 GMT

...and all at once! A blast of wind and a drumming downpour hit my skylight this morning and woke me up. I snuggled down into my warm bed and then my alarm went off, O HELL no. I was an hour and a half late for work just drumming up the courage to get up and leave (plus waiting for the floodwaters to recede) and now I have to go home in a snowstorm. Here's hoping it doesn't turn to ice.

And that's it for the holidays, woe. All we have now is winter-but-never-Christmas. Which kinda suits me fine, I hate summer. I REALLY disliked the 70° weather over Christmas and New Years. That just ain't right, even if I am in the deep South. .

I'm eating elephant balls out of a paint can.

singeaddams — Wed, 22 Dec 2021 16:49:25 GMT

Well, it's an old cookie kit bucket from Wilton's that looks like a paint can and the balls are peanut butter cookie dough dipped in chocolate. WOO HOO! Thanks, Fam! .

The Chocolate War Continues

singeaddams — Wed, 15 Dec 2021 16:57:08 GMT

I tried melting the Nestle chips in the microwave, using careful and short 30 second bursts because I know what I'm farkin' doing, but that didn't work at all. It congealed into a plastic-smelling brick. I dropped a polite note to Nestle telling them to put a disclaimer on their packaging because it simply doesn't melt. I got back a long letter blaming me for everything. Obviously I used the wrong spoon/pot/recipe/technique and they wanted me to provide the name of the store, the receipt, the packaging, a picture of the shelf I took them from, and a blood sample etc... and they don't have any coupons! So don't ask!

I swear to god, the top of my skull came off. I told them I'm never buying Nestle again nor shall my family and friends and I cursed them unto the 7th Generation. They're really gonna lose sleep over that but I did a Google and the chips being un-meltable is starting to snowball into a problem. Good, it's not just me. Seriously, I'm calling on all of ya'll to BOYCOTT NESTLE.

Third time is the charm: I bought some Ghirardelli chips and it was balm to my soul to watch them melt and blend beautifully into the butter, cream, and sugar. Ahhh! Much better. .

BEWARE BAKERS!

singeaddams — Mon, 13 Dec 2021 13:00:13 GMT

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: Nestle has changed the formula for its chocolate chips. They claim they’re ‘smoother’ but what they really are is UNMELTABLE. I tried to make fudge yesterday and the damn things withstood a full pot of boiling sugar. I had to keep the pot on the heat to get them to melt even halfway and the fudge was ruined. Came out lumpy and crumbly. Yuck. I’m going to try again and pre-melt them in the microwave. If the microwave can manage it.

It was a double batch, too, so that's extra money and effort gone. Bah, humbug! .

RIP Anne Rice

singeaddams — Sun, 12 Dec 2021 07:43:29 GMT

I was 14 when I found and read The Vampire Lestat, the perfect age for it, and I swallowed it whole while heavy metal ballads wailed on my radio. I was less fond of everything else she wrote, though, God knows, I enjoyed reading it.

I think she went off the rails with her later work, and her general wankiness was annoying, but I'll always wave my lighter in the air for Lestat. .

Can I make it until Wednesday?

singeaddams — Mon, 22 Nov 2021 21:51:04 GMT

Every nut in the world called today AND we're still missing too many people for work to run smoothly. Everyone chill out, damn.

Meanwhile, I'm still shopping for Thanksgiving. There better be King's Hawaiian rolls at the store! .

A positive post for a change.

singeaddams — Fri, 19 Nov 2021 15:56:16 GMT

Meaning I'm heavily in denial but onward! I'm making out my Thanksgiving list and I'm good to go. The only 'supply chain' issue I've had is fresh cranberries. Luckily I have half a bag in my freezer left over from last year. Google says they're still good. (You think you'll use 'em in a smoothie but you don't.) I'm getting a long weekend for the holiday and I can't wait. I'm not going to do anything but eat, fart, and relax.

Meanwhile, TGIF! This weekend I'm going to make my signature thick chicken broth. I use it in all my cooking. And if I get sick as a dog I can sip it. .

Be not afeared.

singeaddams — Wed, 10 Nov 2021 16:11:32 GMT

Supply line shortage this and supply line shortage that. If I hear supply line shortage one more time I'm going to shit the bed and die. It's just a buzz-phrase to get away with holiday price gouging and/or click-bait. The Republicans are, of course, using it to blame Biden for everything.

Meanwhile, I found a 12 pound Butterball turkey for just $10.75 last night and I snapped it up. There's pumpkin and cranberries and taters and all manner of good things on the shelves so I'll get those later. And mine is just a regular-sized grocery store so you know those huge markets will be even more spoiled for choice.

No worries! God knows Amurcans aren't going to starve if they can't get the precise type of dinner roll they want. Every time people talk about shortages I just imagine Ursula the Sea Witch WASTING AWAY! .

Lovely day!

singeaddams — Tue, 26 Oct 2021 15:46:41 GMT

At least 15 degrees cooler than yesterday and windy so I'm happy. Jungle heat just ain't right when you're trying to get your Autumnal groove on. You can't watch a spoooooky movie if you're sweltering in shorts. The Masked Singer coming on at odd times is also distracting me. I love that stupid show. Even if my favorites lose I don't feel badly for them since they're already rich and famous. Contestants on The Voice or America's Got Talent are trying to afford groceries so I avoid those programs religiously.

Meanwhile, has anybody seen the outline of a kids' chapter book I whipped out not long ago? I can't find the damn thing, even after I sorted through my heap of assorted notes. I wanted to work on it during my vacation since it's small and cute and my bloated SciFi novel is driving me insane. Woe.

Blow, wind, blow! .

OW!!!!

singeaddams — Sun, 24 Oct 2021 18:28:15 GMT

Went to the pharmacy in Target yesterday in the hopes they could squeeze me in for a flu shot. An hour later I got both the flu AND the Pfizer booster, yay!

My arms are falling off. Boooo. Ouch. Not as painful as my Shingrix horror and I'm very glad and relieved I was able to get it done but vaccine patches can't come soon enough for me. (I saw on the news that syringes are going to be completely phased out within 3 years. I certainly hope so.)

One more week 'til Halloween and my vacation! .

Brought some candy for the office...

singeaddams — Wed, 20 Oct 2021 15:57:29 GMT

...and scattered it around so no one has to reach into a potentially germy bowl. Now people are fighting over the butterscotches in every corner. (I amuse easily.) I love Halloween and I'm gonna love this one even more. I go on vacation Friday the 29th and I ain't coming back for a week. I've also planned ahead for Thanksgiving, making sure to get Friday off for a nice, long weekend with lots of delightful leftovers.

Speaking of the office-my Autumn cleaning has torn through here, too. My desk, file cabinets, storage bins, etc...are all organized and sparkling. There must be ORDER!

Soon I'll be breaking into places to clean. Wow, I REALLY need a vacation. .

No news.

singeaddams — Thu, 14 Oct 2021 12:21:35 GMT

So I'll use my foggy Autumn icon. Just because. .

Where's fall?

singeaddams — Mon, 11 Oct 2021 15:15:54 GMT

Here it's mid-October and it continues to be in the mid-80°s and muggy. Bleah. I wanted to use my beautiful fireplace all weekend long but it was too hot to even cook mashed potatoes on the stovetop. Next week will be better so I ordered extra logs from my grocery store. I also ordered a bag of apples. I got a box of firestarter gel cubes and a bag of onions. Anyone want some flash-fried onion rings?

My Autumn cleaning continues. I've done the laundry room! A tiny space barely big enough for the washer/dryer and water-heater but it's organized, by gum. I'm going to invest in some shelving in there and a decent hamper. No more tossing my dirty clothes onto the floor and shutting the door on them. The shelves will be great for extra pantry space. I want to start jarring soup and fresh veggies. That'll be my task for this winter. Store food for the summer so I don't have to turn the oven on. I'm swapping my harvest seasons but that's okay.

Speaking of harvest, the news is alive with AIEEE! BREAKS IN THE SUPPLY CHAIN! THE HOLIDAYS ARE CANCELLED! over here. Bah! Has no one seen 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas?' The holidays will arrive without packages, boxes, and bags but they will arrive. (Unlike an ambulance but that's another story.) .

Whoa, Nelly, everything's down.

singeaddams — Mon, 04 Oct 2021 20:48:49 GMT

The internet outage is a pain but as long as Dreamwidth stands fast I'm happy. I do hope Gmail comes back, though, I have years worth of family pictures stashed there. .

It's OCTOBER!

singeaddams — Fri, 01 Oct 2021 13:49:44 GMT

The heat has broken and the days are cool and fresh. I can breathe! My landlords put out a call for everyone to test their heaters and the burning dust and pollen in my apt set off the smoke detector. Cough! They changed the filters twice over the summer but the airborne gunk was especially bad this year.

I'm decorating for Halloween this very night. My season has arrived! .

RSV?!

singeaddams — Thu, 23 Sep 2021 12:42:32 GMT

My mother has RSV, respiratory syncytial virus, which she caught from her great-grandbabies whom she can't stay away from no matter how often I beg her to love 'em from afar. Ridiculous effort on my part - trying to get between a Granny and her bebes - but I'm trying to keep everyone healthy long distance. I guess I'll send them all some soup. .

BOW DOWN BEFORE ME!

singeaddams — Mon, 20 Sep 2021 15:42:00 GMT

Autumn cleaning has commenced. I spent all day Saturday tackling the monster that is my walk-in closet and LO! It was defeated. I took out four full garbage bags of clothes I'd worn out or outgrown, shoes I never wear, another garbage bag of old papers, and a printer that had died. It killed me to bag up clothes that I'd bought just last year but pandemic worry-weight is taking its toll. We shall meet again, I promise.

But I'm ridiculously proud of myself for getting that done. It was my last organizational project and now I can relax. I'm thinking about learning how to jar soups, veggies, and applesauce. Maybe even boiled peanuts and pie filling.

Gawd, I always get so domestic in the fall. .

That awkward time of the year.

singeaddams — Tue, 14 Sep 2021 15:10:58 GMT

We're back in the high temperatures but I have my personal heater blazing right under my chair. Turn the AC down just a squinch, please? But I'm still eyeballing the trees for progress towards Autumn. I want to take a ruler and measure the golding of the leaves every time I step outside. I just plain do better when the stifling heat is gone so let's GO, fall!

I've started my spooky Autumn reading already with a Shirley Jackson bio by Ruth Franklin. 'A Rather Haunted Life' was excellent and I recommend it but I so want to reach back in time and slap her husband and parents. She lived under a barrage of criticism from them and her fans and probably the dog, too, but she triumphed over them all through her brilliant writing. Sadly she was only 49 when she died. I hope she's haunting the place and having a blast. .

Meteorological Fall

singeaddams — Wed, 01 Sep 2021 14:40:15 GMT

September 1st! Change the calendars and tell summer to BEGONE. Bliss. And bang on cue a strong wind blows dark clouds over NC and the temps fall a good 20°. What a relief it is to be able to breathe. I'll also be able to sit outside on my lovely balcony again without melting and without gnats trying to make a home up my nose. Phnooey!

I LOVE Autumn, can you tell? .

Break, damn you, BREAK.

singeaddams — Mon, 30 Aug 2021 15:49:30 GMT

Hurricane Ida is good for something, the miserable heat is due to break Wednesday night when she passes by NC. That'll be a relief but my heart goes out to everyone she hurt in LA. I hope my turn under a Cat 4 hurricane doesn't pop up this year, or any year, but just in case it does I'm tweaking my emergency supplies - I now have extra canned soup, peanut butter, and a tiny fan that can be recharged. Which'll be great only if I can find a recharging station. Still, it's best to be prepared. .

Lost in Translation

singeaddams — Thu, 26 Aug 2021 15:55:32 GMT

So I just got a phone call from a woman with a heavy Indian accent...

"Hollo, I would do an employee verification for a man, please."

"Sure, which state did he work in?"

"He works in Vagina."

*dies* "Um. You mean Virginia?"

"Yes, Virginia!"

It was a miracle I kept it together long enough to give her the appropriate number to call but when I hung up... .

It's gettin' closer...

singeaddams — Tue, 24 Aug 2021 19:10:17 GMT

...Autumn! Even though every day this week is doomed-to-hell level temps (heat index=109°F right now) I'm staying positive with each new sign of the changing seasons. Starbucks released their pumpkin spice treats today, I found candy corn at the grocery store yesterday, and a definite dusting of gold is beginning to creep across the trees. I just have to stay strong (sniffle!) somehow.

Meanwhile the average American gained 29 pounds over the course of the pandemic. No! Really? Tell me something I don't know, Mofo, and then roll me to the fridge. It's hot and I need ice cream. .