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Ori Brafman

Click: The Magic of Instant Connections Hardcover – Deckle Edge, June 8, 2010

by Ori Brafman (Author), Rom Brafman (Author)

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You know the feeling. You meet someone new—at a party or at work—and you just hit it off. There is an instant sense of camaraderie.

In a word, you “click.”

From the bestselling authors of Sway, Click is a fascinating psychological investigation of the forces behind what makes us click with certain people, or become fully immersed in whatever activity or situation we’re involved in.

From two co-workers who fall head over heels for each other while out to dinner and are married a month later (and fifteen years later remain just as in love), to a team of scientists who changed the world with the magic of their invention, these kinds of peak experiences, when our senses are completely focused on the moment, are something that individuals—and companies—strive to achieve. After all, when you’re in the “zone,” you’re happier and more productive. Why is it that we click in certain situations and with certain people, but not with others? Can this kind of magical connection be consciously encouraged? Is there a way to create such peak experiences, whether on a date or in your job?

According to Ori and Rom Brafman, there is.

In a powerful, story-driven narrative that weaves together cutting-edge research in psychology and sociology, the Brafmans explore what it means to “click”: the common factors present when our brain and senses are fully engaged. They identify five “accelerators” that increase the likelihood of these kinds of magic connections in our work and relationships.

From actors vying for a role on a popular TV series to police officers negotiating with hostage takers, we learn how one can foster an environment where we can click with another person and shape our thinking, behavior, and emotions.

A fascinating journey into how we engage with the world around us, Click will transform our thinking about those moments when we are in the zone and everything seems to fall into place.

Acclaim for Sway:

“A provocative new book about the psychological forces that lead us to disregard facts or logic and behave in surprisingly irrational ways.” –New York Times

“A unique and compulsively readable look at unseen behavioral trends.” –Fortune

"A breathtaking book that will challenge your every thought, Sway hovers above the intersection of Blink and Freakonomics."--Tom Rath, coauthor of the New York Times #1 bestseller How Full Is Your Bucket?

“[An] engaging journey through the workings—and failings—of the mind…Their stories of senselessness…are as fascinating as the lessons we learn from them.” –Fast Company

"Count me swayed--but in this instance by the pull of entirely rational forces. Ori and Rom Brafman have done a terrific job of illuminating deep-seated tendencies that skew our behavior in ways that can range from silly to deadly. We'd be fools not to learn what they have to teach us."--Robert B. Cialdini, author of New York Times bestseller Influence

"If you think you know how you think, you'd better think again! Take this insightful, delightful trip to the sweet spot where economics, psychology, and sociology converge, and you'll discover how our all-too-human minds actually work."--Alan M. Webber, founding editor of Fast Company

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Print length

224 pages
Language

English
Publisher

Crown Business
Publication date

June 8, 2010
Dimensions

5.91 x 1.02 x 8.54 inches
ISBN-10

0385529058
ISBN-13

978-0385529051

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Editorial Reviews

Review

"...serious research explained with interesting real life stories and presented in a short concise format. I think you'll click with it too."--Inc

About the Author

ORI BRAFMAN is an organizational business consultant. ROM BRAFMAN is a psychologist with a private practice in Palo Alto, California. They are the coauthors of the New York Times bestseller Sway.

From the Trade Paperback edition.

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Crown Business
Publication date ‏ : ‎ June 8, 2010
Edition ‏ : ‎ First Edition
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Print length ‏ : ‎ 224 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0385529058
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0385529051
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 12.8 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.91 x 1.02 x 8.54 inches
Best Sellers Rank: #969,872 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #1,334 in Medical Social Psychology & Interactions
- #1,950 in Popular Social Psychology & Interactions
- #56,178 in Business & Money (Books)
Customer Reviews:
(180)

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Ori Brafman

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Ori Brafman is a multiple New York Times bestselling author, researcher, and entrepreneur. His upcoming book, Radical Inclusion: What the Post-9/11 World Should Have Taught Us About Leadership, co-authored by 18th Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, GEN(R) Martin Dempsey, argues that today’s leaders are in competition for the trust and confidence of those they lead more than ever before. Bringing examples from business, academia, government, and the military, Brafman and Dempsey assert that the nature of power is changing and should not be measured by degree of control alone.

The White House, the world’s largest organization for financial professionals, and the Chicago Bulls alike turn to Brafman when focusing on organizational culture change, increased employee engagement, business transformations, leadership development, and adjusting to emerging technologies. He has advised all branches of the U.S. military, the Obama White House, Google, Microsoft, Cisco, NATO, and YPO, among others. His media appearances include the New York Times, the Washington Post, ABC News, BBC, National Public Radio, CNBC, the Wall Street Journal, CNN, Fox News, C-SPAN, and AP Video.

Brafman is founder and president of Starfish Leadership and co-founder of the Fully Charged Institute, which combines his work with that of Tom Rath. Brafman is a Distinguished Teaching Fellow at UC Berkeley’s Haas School of Business focusing on improvisational leadership, data science, and artificial intelligence and a Senior Fellow at the Coach K Leadership & Ethics Center at Duke University.

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180 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book easy to read and appreciate its informative content, with one review noting how lessons apply to daily encounters. The book provides an interesting look at human connections, and one customer highlights its diverse anecdotes from various fields. The story quality receives positive feedback, with one review mentioning engaging little stories that work into how people work. Customers disagree on the value for money.

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19 customers mention readability, 18 positive, 1 negative

Customers find the book engaging and easy to read, with one customer noting it's suitable for readers of all interest levels.

Good book, and a quick and interesting read! Interesting case studies as well....Read more

This book is quick and lively. Its lessons ring true in all sorts of daily encounters....Read more

...Little stories that work into how people work. Pretty awesome.Read more

Wonderful....Read more

11 customers mention information quality, 11 positive, 0 negative

Customers find the book informative, with examples from diverse fields, and one customer notes that the lessons ring true in daily encounters.

Lots of examples. Persuasive, engaging and easy to follow.Read more

...The book is well research written in an open approachable style with examples and anecdotes from diverse fields. It is a fun informative read....Read more

...Not only can I identify with it, but also apply it to real life.Read more

Great thoughts presented. Doesn't totally reflect the digital culture.Read more

8 customers mention pacing, 8 positive, 0 negative

Customers find the pacing of the book engaging, with one customer noting it provides an interesting look at how people connect with one another, while another mentions how adversity can build relationships.

This book really resonated with me, it put words around many of my experiences and relational hypotheses. Plus, it is an easy book to read.Read more

Lots of examples. Persuasive, engaging and easy to follow.Read more

This book is quick and lively. Its lessons ring true in all sorts of daily encounters....Read more

...it doesn't give how-to advice, it's still an interesting look at how people connect with one another.Read more

3 customers mention story quality, 3 positive, 0 negative

Customers enjoy the stories in the book, with one mentioning how they work into how people work, while another appreciates the interesting case studies.

Good book, and a quick and interesting read! Interesting case studies as well....Read more

Just started reading this book, first 2 chapters and you get involved in the book. Little stories that work into how people work. Pretty awesome.Read more

I love thes authors, they achieve their goal by telling entertaining stories that really engage the reader....Read more

3 customers mention value for money, 2 positive, 1 negative

Customers have mixed opinions about the book's value for money.

Excellent book...worth the time and money invested. Well done!Read more

...I think the book was a cheap read and I could not burden myself to read anymore....Read more

...The book shipped very quickly, pleased with the price as well (purchased a used copy).Read more

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Matthew Morine
A Great Refresher on Connections
Reviewed in the United States on August 11, 2010
Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase

This was a good quick read. It dealt with how to establish relationships. It provides five major connectors that are in the majority of friendships. Some of these are just natural, but having the knowledge of them is helpful. In a people business, having these skills, or maybe the knowledge of these skills can be highly helpful. You will learn how to connect at a deeper level with people through the level of communication. You can create better "click" through how you talk to people. You also will learn that adversity will build relationships, and of course similarity. This was a excellent book on relationships. It is not going to give you new earth shaking news if you have a background in communication, but will give a wonderful refresher on the basic components to connections with other people. This is a perfect book for preachers. Also, this is a good back for those trying to make friends in life. I believe I will do a sermon on "why you have no friends at church." This is a good read everyone.

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Carl E. Cleveland
Pretty awesome.
Reviewed in the United States on February 19, 2017
Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
Just started reading this book, first 2 chapters and you get involved in the book. Little stories that work into how people work. Pretty awesome.

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MotoGPTech
"Clicking" Can Lead to Increased Abilities
Reviewed in the United States on December 31, 2011
Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
Have you ever met someone and immediately "clicked" with them? How did that make you feel? Brothers Ori & Rom Brafman describe this as "quick-set intimacy" - and they say we can increase the number of these connections we experience with others. They say there are benefits to "clicking" with people. First, clicking brings about a unique, almost euphoric state, one that we describe as "magical." Second, it permanently alters the fundamental nature of the relationship. Last and least recognized, it can serve to elevate the personal abilities of all involved.

The Brafmans tell us the science behind clicking and describe "click accelerators" - summarized as follows: vulnerability, proximity, resonance, similarity, and shared adversity.

For those interested in increasing your "clickability" with others - whether for leadership, friendship, salesmanship, or romance - Click is an interesting and informative read. Recommend.

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Chris
An OK read, but superficial
Reviewed in the United States on December 12, 2013
Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
I purchased this book because the title and general description interested me and seemed like a natural continuation of some other books I read. The book is a short and easy read, but it left me wanting. From the title, I thought it would be a real explanation behind how and why we engage with people, but it was more observational than exploratory.

My main issue with the book is that the central thesis of the book isn't at all surprising or thought-provoking. This is what I was able to gather of the major points of the work, which the authors sum up in the last chapter:
1. "Magic matters" - the pleasure center of our brain responds when we connect deeply with someone
2. "There's power in vulnerability" - We have stronger connections with others when we are willing to share more personal experiences with them
3. "A few feet make a big difference" - We are more likely to connect with those in close physical proximity to us than those that are further away from us
4. "Resonance begets resonance" - The closest thing to a salient point I can take from this is that when we give others real attention, they tend to return the favor. This back-and-forth leads to stronger relationships
5. "Similarity counts; quantity trumps quality" - We tend to connect with those who we share similarities with. Perhaps the only really remarkable point I found in this book is that these similarities can be entirely superficial; the most important factor is how many - and not which in particular - similarities we detect.
6. "The environment around us can help foster intimacy" - Self-explanatory
7. "Certain people are magnets" - There are some people who tend to connect more easily with others.
8. "Quick-set intimacy can bring out the best in us" - We tend to be more comfortable and civil when we are around people who we feel connected to.

As the list makes clear, there's very little that's surprising in this book. I like books that make me pause or deeply consider their arguments, but as I read this I just kind of hummed along thinking "yeah, of course that's true" more than not. There were various times where it seemed as if the book would reach some genuinely thought-provoking content, but then it shifted back to a superficial level. For example, in the chapter on point 5, the book started to note that humans can form a strong group sense based even on very shallow traits or characteristic, but never really explored why that is.

Overall, it's an alright book, I just expected a lot more than it delivered.

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MLeland
I wish there were more actionable items that came out ...
Reviewed in the United States on July 16, 2015
Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
I wish there were more actionable items that came out of this book for me. Regardless, it was a fascinating look into making instant connections with people.

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Mcconn 318
Explaining th e sublime
Reviewed in the United States on April 7, 2013
Format: KindleVerified Purchase
Another great book by the Brafmans . They deconstruct the complex condition of intense human connections. They examine the why and how we are are able to enmeshed with other for work , play, or love. The book is well research written in an open approachable style with examples and anecdotes from diverse fields. It is a fun informative read. I await their next interesting book.

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andrea from Madison, WI
Loved it
Reviewed in the United States on February 9, 2014
Verified Purchase
The authors did a brilliant job of dissecting and explaining what it means to "Click" with people. I've always wondered about this and they explained the science and the magic of it so perfectly, I loved it. The writing was clear, understandable and I passed it on to a friend.

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JudyCacco
Gets and misses
Reviewed in the United States on November 1, 2016
Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
Great thoughts presented. Doesn't totally reflect the digital culture.

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Ivanka
Fascinating
Reviewed in Spain on May 17, 2014
Verified Purchase

Read it first as a summary on Blinkist and then decidedthere is so much more to learn that I bought a book. Read it in one day, learned even more than expected. Thank you.

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Click
Reviewed in Mexico on May 23, 2017
Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
Muy buen libro la verdad me gusto mucho, lo recomiendo ampliamente para personas que quieran conocer mas acerca lo que trata el mismo libro.

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Schuhschuh
One of the best books that I can relate to and feel everyone ...
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 20, 2014
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One of the best books that I can relate to and feel everyone should read this book at least once in their lives.

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Scott M
Love this book!
Reviewed in Canada on June 23, 2018
Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
This book has some great insight into how we connect with others. I found myself putting some of the techniques outlined in this text into practice without noticing I was doing it at first. Easy to understand, non pretentious language. Highly recommended!

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Top Hat
Four Stars
Reviewed in Canada on November 22, 2016
Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
Well done!

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5.0 out of 5 stars Fascinating

5.0 out of 5 stars Click

5.0 out of 5 stars One of the best books that I can relate to and feel everyone ...

5.0 out of 5 stars Love this book!

4.0 out of 5 stars Four Stars

Fascinating

Click

One of the best books that I can relate to and feel everyone ...

Love this book!

Four Stars