Fly with me, stay free, silverwing!

Miss Yael!

silverwing84 — Thu, 12 Sep 2013 17:44:00 GMT

Is just too adorable.

But I think the coconut fiber has to go. She and I are equally annoyed by it!

Where's the North Bronx Mountain Toad?

silverwing84 — Wed, 10 Jul 2013 01:19:32 GMT

I haven't seen them out all summer. :( Usually the toads love to hang out by the Van Cortlandt Meer when it gets really muggy like this but I haven't even heard any. I blew off steam and wandered around the park the other night, loving how the fireflies lit up the bayou bridge like a dance club, but was sad to find my warty companions were nowhere to be found.

If I ever have an obscene amount of money to my name someday, I think I'll ask Save the Frogs to start a Save the North Bronx Mountain Toad movement.

Personal Responsibility

silverwing84 — Tue, 01 Jan 2013 20:33:46 GMT

As we all fell off the fiscal cliff, a thought occurred to me.

Why is it that when these upper middle class wannabe-richies spend disgusting amounts of money on things like $4,000/month rentals in the most chi-chi neighborhoods, designer clothes, and hitting the bars and clubs every single weekend to the point that they whine about being broke between paychecks, no one bats an eyelash, but it's only the poor and really marginalized groups who frequently have "personal responsibility" shoved down our throats and yelled in our ears?

Hey, I haven't had a fucking vacation in six, soon to be seven, years. I have no debt. I only buy things I can pay for, like the grand total of two electronic devices throughout 2012 I purchased, one of which was a replacement for a stolen phone.
Just saying, it's pretty goddamn patronizing that the same people who whine about their tax dollars going to single mothers with three kids seem to have no reservations about making at least $70K/year and pissing it away on extravagant rentals and the latest styles to the point that they complain they're broke but when lightning strikes and pink slips go out, our tax dollars have to pay for their fucking unemployment checks when they had the wherewithal to build savings while poor people just don't.

Maybe EVERYONE needs to show personal responsibility, not just those who have less.

$250,000/year for a married couple isn't wealthy?

silverwing84 — Mon, 17 Dec 2012 20:37:06 GMT

This comments on this Accounting Today article pissed me off. Apparently, a married couple who earns a minimum of $250,000 a year isn't wealthy.

Yeah, the big game these people talk about how "the 65% who approved the tax increases are not among them" is pretty telling. No shit, Sherlock. In the ever-growing income gap, there's more of us than them now.

And I say this as both someone who spent the past 6 years in poverty, and as someone with two accounting degrees: regardless of where you live, a combined income of $250,000 maybe won't deem you Bill Gates wealthy, but it makes you rich. Granted, it gives you far more purchasing power and ease of wealth accumulation in Pennsylvania or Florida than California or New York, but guess what, you're still rich.

Maybe not owning car elevators and 15 iPads kind of rich, but that's a HELL whole lot more household income than what struggling couples and families are earning. Assuming the income is equally split at $125,000 each then that's still much more than what most individuals are making today, easily two to three times as much. If the income is disparate (ie, one spouse earns $50,000 while the other $200,000) then at least one of them is rich.

Seriously, I'm getting so goddamn fed up with these people who earn at least $7,000 a month after taxes then whine about how they're not rich. If you pay $5,000/month for a nice Upper West Side apartment, buy nothing but local organic food, never take the subway, and have to have the best duds and latest electronics to keep up with the ones who ARE the 1%?

Then you're retarded with money, STFU. That's why you're always broke at the end of the month. There's a difference between being broke because you have little to no income; and having a more generous monthly income than most people and SPENDING IT ALL. There's a big difference between living paycheck-to-paycheck when you make barely $2,000 a month (or far less) after taxes vs. $7,000+ not counting rents and capital gains. I can speak from having worked at a financial services firm that there are so many people who go broke trying to keep up appearances. Yeah, for all the talk about personal responsibility that gets shoved at the people who contemplate suicide over medical bills, I think plenty of these asswipes need to show some as well.

First scene of my novel is done!

silverwing84 — Fri, 09 Nov 2012 15:01:01 GMT

Woohoo! That sucker is 15 pages, no less!

I'm really looking forward to my next all-day writer's workshop tomorrow too. Maybe I'll also get some additional pointers. The teacher was really awesome in the one I had two weeks ago, and her methods have helped me combat my writer's block so much. Like there's so much creativity that can happen in just 10 or 15 minutes, and that it's okay if I want to write out 20 different scenes jumping all over different parts of the book. I had to shake off that "start at the beginning" mentality high school and college classes stuck me with.

So it's one down and....who knows how many more to go!

Toadies!

silverwing84 — Thu, 28 Jun 2012 08:13:25 GMT

Toads are wonderful.

Toads are fucking great.

There's just something about petting a toad that is so relaxing. Some toads are skittish of humans, but others are quite sweet and docile. They are so maligned and most people they think they're ugly, but I think they are the most adorable amphibians ever.

Writer's Block: Wishing Well

silverwing84 — Wed, 23 May 2012 16:16:46 GMT

It's a tough call as many worlds are appealing-- the Land of the Green Isles, Glorianna, the Tri-Island Area...but I'd have to go with Kyrandia. I'd get the beauty and whimsy of a Sierra world where magical creatures and humans live together in harmony, except things wouldn't be trying to kill me every 2 feet.

Writer's Block: Critical Acclaim

silverwing84 — Mon, 02 Apr 2012 15:57:02 GMT

The Critic! God, I loved that show and still do. It's just so 90's it hurts.

But it was too good to last because the humor was intelligent, and it had too much competition from other popular animated shows at the time-- plus it went under fire in that Simpsons cross-over "A Star Is Burns", the only episode where Matt Groening refused to put his name in the credits.

Since network execs concentrate so much on the lowest common denominator, and this was before the days of the internet becoming a means of broadcasting intelligent humor driven shows, it was obvious this gem of a show was doomed and we were lucky it lasted 2 seasons. There were a short series of webisodes that came out in the early 2000s, about 8 years after its cancellation, but because they couldn't get the rest of the original voice cast aside from Jon Lovitz to reprise their roles, it was just about Jay and his new makeup lady and fell flat.

By all means Netflix this awesome show and get overloaded with 90's nostalgia; the 90's are the new 80's. We need Jay Sherman more than ever to pan all the horrible movies out there now!

Writer's Block: Girl Scouts' Day

silverwing84 — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 05:59:53 GMT

Thin Mints, all the way! Loooove those.

Writer's Block: Back to the Future

silverwing84 — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 21:33:15 GMT

I'd relive 1987-1994 at the age I am now, with everything I have now. The late 80's and early 90's were the best not just because I was a kid then, but times were just simpler. It was before the non-geeks took over the internet and it took a serious nerd to boot up DOS...the skills and interests that once defined a select group of outcasts are now expected of today's youth. I remember when people looked at me like I had 3 heads for meeting a guy off an IRC chat and spending more time playing computer games opposed to console games or watching TV: Now people look at me like I have 3 heads because I refuse to start a Facebook page let alone meet some random schmuck off of it.

It was before the days of putting young kids on Ritalin and Prozac just for being kids and these counter-productive anti-bullying movements. (and how it doesn't make one iota of sense that the same school boards and watchdog groups who rain fire and brimstone about childhood obesity are the same morons who don't want kids to run around at recess, or even have recess? Are you kidding me? Am I the only sane person on earth?!)

There's some things that I think are great as a result of the non-geeks taking over the internet and the rise of e-commerce-- like the fact that musicians, filmmakers, and software developers are beginning to phase out the old way of selling their products and raising funds for both projects and growing their businesses. The Angry Video Game Nerd surpassed his funding goal on IndieGoGo to make an AVGN movie, and Tim Schaefer/DoubleFine Productions broke all Kickstarter records by raising nearly $2M in one week! (with a $400K goal, only 25% of which was going to go towards the game itself, with the rest towards the documentary film.) Let the publishers and venture capitalists cry all they want over never seeing a piece of the DoubleFine pie: it's what they get for saying adventure is a dead genre and refusing to put up funds for these projects, or putting up funds only on the conditions of massive payouts and meddling with the project to the point it's totally bowdlerized from what it was supposed to.

It's also pretty awesome that the very same game and documentary can be viewed on a device smaller than a sandwich. Since I'm also an audiophile, I also like the convenience of having every song I own all in one place-- no small feat considering the amount of music I own, and I still haven't gotten around to ripping my vinyl! I remember when my dad had a prototype CD writer in 1997 before they hit the mass markets, and it was a big, big deal that I was able to make mix CDs opposed to mix tapes. I also remember when the CD-Man upgrade from a Walkman catapulted you to royalty in the 6th grade. Now...you can get a CD player for $10 or less!

But despite the way some things changed for the better, I just think that for all of the modern conveniences we have now, we've paid a price in terms of society's outlook just not being as simple as they once were. Now that we're not occupied making mix tapes, leaving computer tinkering to us nerds, and having to make arrangements meeting up with people where you'd have to hope they were in the exact place at the exact time you specified-- people just feel the need to overcomplicate things.

Writer's Block: ONTD Games Giveaway

silverwing84 — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 18:03:22 GMT

Zanthia from the Legend of Kyrandia series (namely Hand of Fate.) A fun and snarky alchemist/mage who didn't take guff from no one.

Writer's Block: First Amendment

silverwing84 — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 03:39:03 GMT

When freedom of speech goes, it is not just a slippery slope but a very quick slide to having all of our rights and civil liberties taken away.

Writer's Block: Cornucopia of colors

silverwing84 — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 17:56:04 GMT

The crisp cool weather that takes away the heat of summer but doesn't make going outside painful from the cold, the delicious pumpkin goodies that crop up everywhere, apple picking all the preparations from Halloween then actual Halloween night...

Fall's just too short! It seems over the second Halloween's done because Thanksgiving speeds by then the shops are dominated by Christmas stuff immediately.

Writer's Block: Remembering Steve Jobs

silverwing84 — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 14:18:23 GMT

He made it through some pretty extenuating circumstances to become successful and revolutionize computing. People looked at him and Steve Wozniak like they had 3 heads at one time for stating that their goal was to eventually put computers into the homes of Americans everywhere...and look at where we are now. I grew up with Macs in the late 80's and early 90's when it took a serious dork to boot up DOS and get games and applications functional (Macs at the time were 10,000 times more user-friendly), and saw all these computers evolve.

Admittedly, I began to hate Macs after System 8 got the axe and OS X made me shun Maccery forever after that. But I can't forget the late 80's and how those early Macs were such an integral part of my upbringing, and got an early start on my love of computers. Then when I got older and learned more about the business side of computing, Steve Jobs really struck me as an interesting CEO that didn't let adversity get in the way of accomplishing his goals. He had one hell of a life and now that I'm starting to live my dream of opening a software company, I hope I get to accomplish and revolutionize half what he did. RIP, he's among System 7 now.

Writer's Block: It’s Women’s Equality Day!

silverwing84 — Fri, 26 Aug 2011 08:17:26 GMT

The fact that this question is being asked and that there's a Women's Equality Day is testament alone that women are still not being treated as equals.

While I don't want kids, I still find it unfair that women who have them/want to have end up having to fear for their jobs, but if a man becomes a father no one thinks anything of it. Consequently, women get less opportunities for advancement than men in a lot of corporate settings. Moms get paid less than dads. Hell, a lot of women get paid less for doing the same job and often have less to retire on as a result. Plus, why is it always assumed that a woman has to stop everything she's doing to "start a family" and be expected to give up (temporarily or otherwise) her career and other aspects of her life to have children? Why are dads who make those sacrifices instead viewed as weak or effeminate?
It shouldn't be about the gender of the parent that stays home; it's about who has better skills with running a household and/or gives up far less income.

Why do women who sleep around get called sluts, but men who do it are da man? Female sexuality is still so repressed in this society it's sickening. God forbid you be honest about your proclivities and intents, yet women get branded as liars! Maybe there's a reason for this?

If a man writes a book about families and relationships, it's considered literature and an important contribution to society. A woman writes a similar book, it's just a chick lit beach read. Why?

If questions like this still have to be asked? It's obvious women are still not seen as equals.

Soap obsession!

silverwing84 — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 02:04:33 GMT

Now THIS is how one should use a filofax, desk organizer, or whatnot!

So to satisfy my bloodlust for natural bar soaps, I bought waaay too many over time and just keeping them in a plastic bowl by the window sill next to my shower wasn't enough. So I bought a desk organizer and WOW what a difference!

I also got in the habit of cutting all my soaps down so I can not only satisfy my OCD-ish behavior of trying like 40 different scents all at once, it also helps conserve the bars. And share them too!

So I may as well point out where these delectable delights came from:

Back row, left to right-- Angie's Essentials/M. Ripoll Designs green tea and grapeseed glycerin sopa, Lux Naturals Citrus Pop, Lux Naturals Bourbon Islands Geranium, Hugo Naturals Spanish Rose, sliver of Lux Naturals Midnight Pomegranate

Left compartment-- big bar is Lux Naturals Almond Oatmeal Heaven, behind it are samples of Lush Love Birds and Snowcake

Second to left compartment, back to front- Angie's Essentials/M. Ripoll Designs lemongrass soap sample, Angie's Essentials/M. Ripoll Designs Cotton Candy, Lux Naturals Chocolate Decadence

Middle compartment, back to front- Bath Treats imitation Karma (which really IS the same exact scent as the Lush soap-- cheaper and smoother too!), Hugo Naturals Patchouli Vanilla, Lush Porridge sample, Lush Demon in the Dark (that's very brown, not green), Villainess ~~Ghost~~ Cob Webs, thanks Amy! Heh a sign I have waaay too much soap....

Right compartment, left to right- Angie's Essentials/M. Ripoll Designs Ocean Mist aloe soap, Lush Rock Star sample, Lush Alkmaar sample, Hugo Naturals Lavender

Not pictured but in my stash: Lux Naturals Sandalwood Amber, Lush Bohemian sample, Angie's Essentials/M. Ripoll Designs Strawberries & Champagne, Linda's Country Cottage Margarita, Linda's Country Cottage Brown Sugar Maple, Linda's Country Cottage Georgia Peach, most of the soaps shown here in various chunks

I'll gladly share samplers!! And do trades of soap samples and other beauty products! I believe in sharing the wealth, plus this way I can try EVEN MORE different kinds of soap. :D

Haha I have problems.

Writer's Block: Better than leftovers

silverwing84 — Sat, 16 Apr 2011 15:26:57 GMT

Pizza! Delicious, delicious pizza. Because you didn't specify what *kind*, and I love various kinds and to make my own too. Pizza is my favorite food group.

still can't move on...

silverwing84 — Thu, 14 Apr 2011 07:32:11 GMT

Can't help but think about how it was about a year ago from now, when tax season was coming to a close, that I got my Eyes of Hate tattoo finished and I just remember it taking me really long to get ready for a show because I kept looking at it then bawling my eyes out.

Getting the piece helped me move on and finally accept that Al's gone. But time to time, like right now when I recently snapped out of the longest suicidal depression episode I've had since high school, I get gripped by this total utter grief and constantly reminded of how I never had a chance to say goodbye. Never got to tell him what a high and valuable place he held in my life. How appreciative I was that he took me under his wing and had faith in me as a musician when no one else did.

I still recall in detail the night he died, refusing to believe it, being a drunk tearful mess at CB's and seeing my entire world split asunder right then.

How it was ironic that one of the last pieces of advice he gave me shortly before his untimely departure was that while it's good to get booked often, don't play too many shows in a row...or else people take you and your band for granted.

It took me a long time to get on with my life and I refused to accept he was gone for years.
I get tearful when I think back to 2006 or so, I'd sometimes half-expect him to turn up at a show, being there to make everyone laugh, telling the younger kids what he thought of their bands, making fun of the shitty bands playing next door, the things I always associated with him.

I didn't know true, actual grief until that fated day.

A year ago on this date too we lost another major influence of mine, though I didn't personally know him, Peter Steele. He and Al inspired me to be unafraid and not care who I offend, and to be tongue in cheek without being a total dick. The world is a darker place without them.

It's almost 6 years later and I still grieve even though I thought I moved on...even though I know he's in a better place than this plane. He's with Dave and Raybeez, and Keith and Joann. As well as Peter.

Nonetheless I think about how I wish he was here for all the major decisions I made in my life. He's the one I need to talk to more than ever about my fear of never having a band again, the first person I want talk to about a major injustice I witness and something I wrote. He was the only other person I ever knew in my life who told things how they were.

I miss you so damn much.

EA-dom

silverwing84 — Thu, 10 Feb 2011 13:44:18 GMT

I'm SO FUCKING HAPPY to announce that I passed Part 2 of the EA exam yesterday!!!

All I have to do now is file a form with the IRS and await a background check before I get sworn in. Wondering what to do about that since I saw a warning when I went to download the form saying that they're working on reduced fees for EAs because of the new PTIN program we all had to pay for earlier this year. Well hey, it said I have 1 year from when I finish the exam completely (that'd be yesterday) to apply for enrollment...so even if the reduced fee's not ready til June, I should be fine waiting til later in the year to apply.

I just can't believe I passed EVERY part on the first try. One of my professors was saying that he worked with an EA at Deloitte and that while it's not as widely known as the CPA exam or designation, that his co-worker said he would've rather taken the bar exam again so this is a huge accomplishment.

Considering how 2011 came in with a total complete bang what with the apartment and crazy Murphy's Law NYE fest and the DYS show, I think 2011 = the year Rachel finally gets cut a fucking break.

Just happy to be moving along with my academic and professional lives...like I'm REALLY feeling it now. Passing that exam yesterday totally capped it for me. It's not official until I get sworn in and have a Treasury card but just the fact that I did the toughest part and got through it...I'm ready to handle whatever the world's going to throw at me!

And the Fall this year will probably be my very last semester, then I get my Master's.

Here's to being Master of the Fucking Universe.

Writer's Block: Connecting the dots

silverwing84 — Fri, 04 Feb 2011 16:08:23 GMT

They don't. AT ALL.

Standardized tests given K-12 are pointless, especially the ones for elementary school students. They don't speak for a student's individual abilities or for how well or crappy a teacher does. Then the government cares more about the stupid, pointless test scores and uses it as an impetus to cut funding, than they do about adequate curriculums and teachers being placed in the schools. It's another instance of rich-get-richer-poor-get-poorer-- a school with very low test scores obviously needs help and the problem could be with the teachers and/or curriculum not the students...the solution is NOT to get their funding pulled.

Then you have the SATs-- in my day the SAT only had a math and verbal section. Today they have a writing section too that a lot of kids are getting way too stressed out with and most colleges don't even care about it! It's like the GMAT I took to get into business school, I did pretty crappy on that test and it was no way indicative of my professional knowledge and experience whatsoever-- and business schools only cared about the verbal and quantitative sections, not the writing assessment (on which I scored a 6-- the highest score possible. But b-schools only cared about the quantitative and verbal.)

So no-- unless it's a professional exam like the CPA, EA, bar, CFP, etc. that DOES test at least one or two areas of which you concentrate (EA concentrates on businesses of all types and individual tax issues-- although I will never do a farm tax return, farming questions were on it) then standardized tests do not tell you anything. Except for the GMAT, I did well with most academic and professional exams in my time because I'm a good test taker.

It all boils down to some testing agency getting money and having some arbitrary means to get ahead of someone else. Which I suppose can be a good thing if you lack education/experience but the institution is impressed at the high test score. But it still doesn't really show your knowledge most of the time.

Argh doctors are fuckin full of it.

silverwing84 — Sun, 30 Jan 2011 23:23:50 GMT

Anyone who knows me well enough knows that I have a pretty deep-seated mistrust in a majority of doctors. Healthcare, like my field and pretty much every other, has its good people and its bad people of course. But I find that a lot of doctors are seriously just overpaid to gloss over a problem/not identify it correctly/not listen to patients/etc.

I can think of SEVERAL examples of this both in my own experience and that of friends and family members; and I am definitely not someone who takes a doctor's word for gospel and just does what they tell me. If I did, I'd be making several pharma corps rich and I think that's just wrong. After all I think they're more concerned with getting paid than helping people but that's neither here nor there.

Point is, I have that second allergist appointment this week with another blood test then discuss the whole 5 year plan of allergy shots.

I don't want to sign onto this shit at all.

The foremost reason is the fact that I have serious doubt it's going to work and stay effective. After all, the allergy shots I had as a kid did absolute donkey dick. I don't remember how often I had them but I remember I spent most of third grade going to the allergist every week. If those shots were effective? I wouldn't have serious nasal pains in dusty areas and be this prone to seasonal throat and nasal problems and just general stuffiness and phelgminess 24/7. But every year like clockwork I get strep at least once.

Secondary to that is I'm not sure to trust this doctor's judgment when I had to fill out these patient information sheets the size of the goddamn Iliad JUST TO GET 20 MINUTES OF MY FUCKING TIME WASTED BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T BOTHER TO READ THEM.

Additionally, I'm only going to have insurance until December. Once that's up, I'm fucked. I don't know if I'll be able to afford that shit anymore. And even if I have a similarly good health plan by landing a cushy government job when I get my Master's in December, still, that's $15-20 per visit. That's....money I won't have to pay bills, buy food, pay rent, pay for my gym membership and other necessary living expenses. (Nor money for shows, clothes, booze, and sundry.)

My other option is to take allergy pills the rest of my life-- which I also refuse to do not just because of my conspiracy theorist and anti-corporate agenda towards pharma corps, but because when I DID take them they were totally fucking useless. Allegra left me dry-mouthed and jumping off walls at 4AM and Claritin was wonderful for a total of 8 days before it gradually began to lose effectiveness to the point that it stopped working altogether.

And now that I'm in a nice new apartment that doesn't have all that elemental exposure with outside critters constantly coming in (and that actually STAYS clean when I clean it), except for a really bad chest cough I caught from someone at the show last week, I haven't been having the major sneezing and snotting up attacks.

So with all that said, it's yet another reason why I call bullshit on the whole being allergic to cats thing. CATS DON'T MAKE ME SICK. Dust does. Mold does. New Jersey does. Stupid people do. But not kitties. Hell, every time I stay at my sister's whenever I'm sick and I get this adorable stripey visitor curled up by my head or my feet every night, it makes me feel BETTER. I had that really horrible month-long case of sinusitus when I was cat-sitting Miss Leeda and she gave me lots of headbutts, nose kisses, and boobie kneadings (I think she knew I wasn't feeling good) and that too made me feel better.
Every time kitties give me nose kisses I don't feel like sneezing/hacking up/etc. So saying I'm allergic to cats is BULLSHIT!

I'm getting a kitty if not after tax season this year, then after tax season next year. Those of you who've heard me make jokes comparing it to women who want babies being told they have to wait/can't conceive/etc.....well, I've also known women who were told that then ended up having perfectly healthy kids which proves most doctors are totally fucking full of it. So I will have a kitty with no problems soon enough.

You know, at least in my profession? A lot of us admit we're only in this for the money and job security. I'm one of the few who actually gives a shit about helping people and changing the face of representation. But at least in my field we pretty much admit we became accountants for money instead of anything thrilling. (I got enough thrill in my personal life, trust me.) Doctors need to admit they just do this to make a fuck ton of money and nothing else.

Macaron madness!

silverwing84 — Sat, 15 Jan 2011 16:49:19 GMT

Heh so I went kinda batshit at Macaron Cafe this past week (on 59th near Madison, there's also another one near Penn Station but I haven't been to that one) first because of an allergist appointment...it was near the office and I had to get some after the doctor fucking tells me that apparently the allergen test turned up dust, mold, and CAT HAIR.

How the fuck could I be allergic to cats? I don't have any but want one and since I'm finally moving out of this goddamn rathole, figured I would get one after tax season ended. But I'm around my friends' and sister's cats ALL THE FREAKIN TIME. I don't feel sick or bothered when the kitties headbutt me or give me nose kisses or boobie kneadings. I probably have just as much cat hair on my clothes and purses as one who does live with a cat...do NOT feel sick from it at all.

Dust and mold however, I can attest to because I've been clearing out a *LOT* of dust in this hellpit while packing shit up to get moved, tossed, or donated and my nose and nasal passages have been itching nonstop. Like painfully so. And sneezing a lot. Mold I get too, I lived in several moldy hellholes throughout my life and would break out into rashes often.

But cats? seriously? And she recommended not getting a cat until I'm either on allergy meds, or have undergone about 6 months to 1 year of allergy shots...which I don't know if I'll be able to afford once the year's up and I no longer have insurance. My dad's plan has me covered so long as I'm a full-time student, even though it's grad school, until I'm 30. But when I'm done with grad school I don't know what the fuck's next, if I get a cushy government job, great, the shots won't be an issue, if not, the kind of plan I currently have would easily be $1200/month. Fuck that.

But yeah, no kitties until I'm on some useless allergy drugs (yes, they are useless to me, I had bad experience with them and do not want to take any because Big Pharma does not deserve my cash) or have shots well underway. She said it isn't totally HOPELESS, just that she's had a lot of patients who like me, got upset at being told they have a slight dog/cat allergy and get one anyway but develop serious problems later on.

So that to me merited a comfort macaron or three.

Then yesterday I got some macarons that were in better tidings...I just passed Part 3 of the EA exam on the first try. I also passed Part 1 on the first try back in September, let's hope I have the same luck for Part 2!

So for those unfamiliar with Macaron Cafe, I'll tell you that it's the closest you'll get in NYC to genuine Parisian macarons. (I may be one of the most brutal hardcore matriarchs that ever existed...but I know my French pastries dammit! Ha every time I walk in there I get reminded of that Metalocalypse episode when the guys are in that pastry shop in Toki's hometown and Nathan says "Yeah man! This is a REALLY BRUTAL place!" Hehe.) And they have their mainstay flavors like raspberry, vanilla, pistachio, honey- lavender, violette flower, dark chocolate, and some that come and go like Nutella, white chocolate, and coconut, but then they have seasonal and limited-time flavors. And ones I'm dying to try but haven't had yet.

And for the uninitiated, a macaron?

Is not the same thing as a macarOON, those icky corn syrup-nut-marshmellow messes I remember getting on the boardwalk when I was a kid.

Macarons are delicate little sandwich cookie like pastries with French and Italian origins, the cookie parts are made of incredibly finely ground up almonds and confectioners' sugar with whipped egg whites and have to piped and baked just right. The filling is usually a creamy or buttery frosting type of type filling but fruit macarons usually have jam fillings. Almost anything creamy and/or spreadable can be used as a filling, you're only limited by your imagination!

(This is definitely something not to make at home unless you're a trained pastry chef because of all the time, money, and mess!)

The classic macaron flavors are vanilla, chocolate, pistachio, and raspberry and Macaron Cafe has those (they're all nummy!) but they make several of their own flavors. Other pastry chefs will make macarons in their own styles and flavors too.

They also sometimes have sanding sugar on top and/or sides or things like finely chopped nuts. Pastry chefs make them with care in all kinds of bright colors, and I and other macaron enthusiasts will happily tell you that macarons are just as delicious as they are pleasing to look at.

So because this is my long-overdue relaxing weekend in...here's my reviews of the macarons! (in no particular order.)

Vanilla- ZOMG fucking delicious, it's like an inverted vanilla cupcake with the cake on the outside and frosting on the inside.

Dark Chocolate- Also pretty delicious but hardcore chocolate lovers might want to get their chocolate fix in a different format, the filling is more chocolate-y than the cookie part. I like the look of gold the shell has, it's either that gold confectioners' sugar or something like Goldwasser!

Peanut Butter- Meh. It looks cool since the cookie part is green, but I was expecting a sweeter filling. The peanut butter reminded me of those ghetto Lance cracker sandwiches with the cheese crackers and questionable but tasty peanut butter in the middle.

Rose- Delicious if you like a Middle Eastern flair, the filling is very creamy and potent with a strong rose flavor-- I imagine a good rosewater was used to make them.

White Chocolate- Meh. I didn't really taste the white chocolate, it was more like weak vanilla. Looks cool though, one cookie is white and the other cookie is green so it doesn't get confused with the vanilla.

Rose-Lychee- Blech. The lychee was overpowering, it had more of a soapy taste.

Matcha- ZOMG if you like green tea/matcha flavor. That's real matcha powder and they don't kid around! But it's nice and sweet. Has a cool little black stripe painted on top. By and far one of my favorites! Matcha is used a lot of Japanese confections since they are green tea freaks and they love those little macarons too.

Orange Blossom- Like how rosewater was used to make the rose macarons, orange blossom water was probably used in these and I liked them even better than the rose-- nice creamy filling, it was like a fancy upscale Creamsicle cookie!

Pumpkin-Cinnamon- I'm a pumpkin freak, I loooove pumpkin, these were tasty and had a light, crisp pastry-like texture with a cream filling but the pumpkin wasn't very prominent. Still would recommend when they have them around Halloween.

Pumpkin- I liked this one better than pumpkin-cinnamon, they're a darker orange and had a softer cookie-like texture-- the filling was more like pumpkin pie! These are by and far one of my favorite flavors and I hope to see it often! (Ironically I didn't see it until New Year's.)

Wedding Almond- closest I'd seen to a classic Parisian macaron, it's nothing but almondy deliciousness! There's little finely chopped blanched almonds on the tops and sides with a creamy almondine filling.

Violette Flower- Okay, this is hard to describe. It's one of the most delicious things I've ever eaten, but I don't know how to describe the flavor: it's...what PURPLE tastes like. Remember that Simpsons episode when Lisa asks Homer at Take Your Daughter To Work Day, she asks if there's any fruit around and he replies, "This donut is purple! Purple is a fruit!" Yep.

Honey-Lavender- Classic French flavor, it's smooth, creamy, and chock full of lavender goodness! If you hate lavender though or really potent floral flavors, you won't like this one.

Raspberry- A classic macaron flavor, these have a jam filling instead of cream filling. Macaron Cafe's are quite delish! The cookie wasn't as crunchy, I rather enjoyed it.

Strawberry- Like the raspberry one, these have a jam filling too and I like it better than the raspberry.

Creme Brulee- ZOMG IT'S ALMOST BETTER THAN GETTING EATEN OUT. I prefer it over actual creme brulee. You haven't had dessert awesomeness until you've had the creme brulee macaron.

Fleur de Sel Caramel- imagine a delicious caramel flavor macaron with kosher salt sprinkled on top, sounds weird right? Actually vanilla-salt and salt-caramel are popular Japanese confection flavors. The Japanese love macarons too so it's no surprise this flavor is made. I love it, it's crispy, gooey, and yummy!

Dulce de Leche- You'll like this one more if salt-caramel isn't your thing, the filling was similar to the fleur de sel caramel. I think both use La Paila dulce de leche syrup as a filling. (I could eat that stuff right out of the bottle.)

Nutella- Yep, it has Nutella filling and chocolate cookies. I like Nutella and this was tasty but I like the other flavors better.

Rhubarb- Meh. Maybe it's because I inherently don't care for rhubarb, the cookie part was good but I didn't care for the filling. If you like a tarter flavor and/or like rhubarb you'll probably like this one.

Rose-Cassis- It was tasty and very creamy, I preferred the rose flavor in it over cassis which was sort of like a muted rum-raisin.

Cassis-Violette- it was purple all around! Liked it better than rose-cassis.

Chestnut- Blech. I guess it's because I don't like chestnuts but I wanted to try it anyhow when I bought a box to share with my sister...she loves this flavor, I hated it.

Coconut- to me it was so-so, I liked the texture more than the taste. It takes an amazing dessert to get me to like anything other than a coconut margarita when it comes to coconut. I guess I was expecting a Mounds type texture but it was nice and creamy. If you like coconut, you'll probably love it.

Coconut-Chocolate- liked it WAY more than the regular coconut! THIS was more like a fancy Mounds. ;) Would definitely get it again.

Flavors they've made that I'm dying to try:

-Pineapple, I imagine it's like an upscale cookie version of pineapple gummy bears.

-Tahini-sesame...I love almost anything with tahini!

-Cheesecake...need I say any more?!

-4th of July special...though I think it's just vanilla with red, white, and blue star sprinkles!

-Milk chocolate...in the gallery but I've never seen it in the shop. Must be tasty!

-Jasmin, I love exotic flavors!

-Mirabelle...I have no clue what it is but it sounds pretty and the picture was gorgeous.

-Gingerbread

Flavors I'm open to trying but are meh about:

-Mango

-Cassis

-Passionfruit

-Chocolate-Passionfruit

-Lemon

-Praline, it's listed on the menu but I've never seen it in the shop.

-Raisin-rum, looks pretty though I don't go batshit over raisin-rum.

Flavors I wouldn't try:

-Matcha-chestnut, I love matcha but hated the chestnut.

-Espresso, not a big fan of anything coffee-flavored.

-Mocha, see above. Would probably like it more than espresso though.

-Apricot, unless someone else got it and said it was tasty and I got a bite. The only apricot thing I really like is that apricot beer I got at Trash over the summer and drunkenly demanded "more apricot goodness!" throughout the night.

-Grapefruit...sounds icky!

Heh so I'm a day late doing this...

silverwing84 — Sun, 02 Jan 2011 17:05:14 GMT

2011 NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS, IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER

1) Stop feeling inadequate, ugly, etc. when I look into the mirror. I may have developed a self-hate free approach to weight loss and health and was so glad I accomplished that in 2010 but I need to stop beating myself up time to time. Considering the long trail behind me, I have to be a pretty hot motherfucker to at least some people.

2) Stop procrastinating when I do laundry. When I'm going out and buying new pajama pants because all the ones I have are dirty...that's a problem!

3) Take more pictures! In general! I have almost nothing recent of me, and really need to start documenting the crazy shit my friends and I do.

4) I swear to every fucking thing that is holy, if I even REMOTELY like a guy for more than just casual sex and friendship, the first thing I am asking him is if he has a girlfriend. And if he does and the said girlfriend is a lameass normal/mundane, I will read him the riot act right then and there about how alt folks don't belong with normals and that being all over a NYHC goddess like myself like a piece of Saran wrap at a show knowing damn well the said mundane isn't there to witness it and no one else will tell her because she doesn't know/talk to/give a shit about anyone else in the punk and hardcore scene...IS JUST PLAIN WRONG.

I otherwise remain resolute in the 99.7% giving up on dating and monogamy, period. Why 99.7% you ask? 99.9% is not only too cliche it's also too certain. I have about a 0.03% chance of attempting monogamy with a man who doesn't turn out to be a womanizing bastard and/or total complete headcase. Plus I remember doing z-scores with the k level of certainty in statistics class, and the probability measures I remember on the chart were 95%, 99.5%, and 99.7% in terms near-absolute certainty tests because nothing ever lands on 100%. 99.7% was the highest it went up to.

So in short...no getting distracted by stupid guys!!! I fuck them and ditch them in stairwells, END OF STORY! Let's face it, there is nobody man enough out there for me. They're all too damn insecure and instead just tell me I'm too intense or whatever other bullshit that just says "Hey, I'm a pussy, I'm going to waste my time with a normal instead. Or a cool girl who just hasn't done as much with her life as you."

Fuck all that. I'm going to be proud of my success, not fucking apologize for it.

5) I will be even ballsier and more unafraid than ever about the clothes I wear, without giving a shit who stops me on the street, who thinks I'm too (insert cool, hard word here) for them or whatever.

6) I will try to stop buying so much crap on ebay! Goddamn addiction! And finding so much stuff I wanted! And it's just a click and return key away...I seriously almost never buy brick-and-mortar anymore except for things like food and toilet paper!

7) I will be more open-minded in terms of the work I do. Farther down the road, I seriously just want enough start-up capital to turn my self-employment into a full-fledged company with a few employees under my wing and also to form a non-profit organization that I hope expands into something revolutionary since I generated interest from a few other accountants and lawyers to help their communities. I'm not the only one who wants to make change and that's given me so much hope we can really work to make a difference in helping people get out of financial trouble and back on their feet and to better educate the public on things like assistance programs, what REALLY happens when you don't file a tax return, etc.

But in the short run I have nowhere near the resources (and will admit, the experience) to do that myself just yet. I know I'm going to have to go a bit easier with my self-employment when I land a job with another tax prep firm or hopefully a cushy government job, but dammit, the whole point of getting accounting degrees was that I figured it'd open more doors since I know too many people with BAs and MAs in things like English, History, etc. that spent years finding work even when the economy was better. If Homeland Security wants to give $60K to do nothing related to what I studied and have busted my ass to earn...maybe I should just take it! I will have the time and money to be current on my CPE obligations and just do taxes and payroll on the side instead of it being my main source of income.

8) I will try to cook at home more. I enjoy cooking but usually end up waiting until my stomach hurts and my blood sugar is crashing to the point I'm at the verge of tears and slaving over a hot stove in my tiny cramped rat-infested kitchen is the last thing I feel like doing. I need to get back in the habit of making stuff like grilled tofu and rice on a day I don't have as much shit to do so I have enough for about 2 days-- lest it goes to waste when I get bored of it! Hopefully if I get the new apartment I will cook at home more because the drop living room suites have bigger kitchens and I'll have more space to actually prepare food.

9) I will try not to sign onto long-term projects/commitments/etc. that I know I probably will flake out of and not complete. I'm better off with several short-term things instead of one long-term thing. I mean this in terms of writing books, albums, etc. I'm better with short stories than novels and 6-song demos instead of entire albums.

10) Every day (or at the least, every week!) I will do something I was totally afraid to do before.

11) Every day I will acknowledge that I basically am a fucking Master of the Universe.

12) After tax season ends, I will strongarm a few of my friends who drum to teach me because it's the only hardcore-centric instrument I haven't mastered. Namely because my coordination is shitty, I'm better with guitars or just tearing the fucking place apart when I sing.

13) I totally WILL get something published, be it the duty of care article I've been meaning to send to the American Journal of Accountancy along with the article on alt professionals I want to write because some people need to have the changing face of today's workforce really stressed to them, or the economic study I wanted to do back in undergrad yet on restaurant and haute-cafeteria eating vs. cooking at home for single-member households-- blowing a misconception in peoples' faces!

14) I will try to read more serious, documentarian and/or argumentative type of non-fiction in my spare time instead of lambasting the Southern Vampire Mysteries and stuff like Laurie Notaro and Jen Lancaster (hey, she brings out the privileged white Republican in me!) or whatever books my forum-lurking tells me have the best sex scenes. I did decide to get inspired by "Girls At The Front", about riot grrl history since I have long identified as one, I just bought it with my BN gift card I got for Christmas and started reading it yesterday.

But hey, I like reading fluff. I have to read enough utterly boring shit for school and updates on the tax code and economy that I figured I earned it. But at least a few serious books should be good to start with.

Writer's Block: Cover me

silverwing84 — Thu, 11 Nov 2010 15:34:43 GMT

Agnostic Front doing Iron Cross' "Crucified". That cover's been associated with AF for so freakin long that I think most people believe it's not even an Iron Cross classic anymore...

Lower Class Brats' version of "Sex and Violence" also just has so much more gusto than Mad Parade's original.

And nearly any cover song Type O Negative has done: enough said!

Writer's Block: Peace for sale

silverwing84 — Thu, 16 Sep 2010 15:40:29 GMT

While we need a defense department and a balanced budget (though federal doesn't have to be; states and cities are required to), too much money has been spent on this war. Money needs to be spent on providing jobs for Americans, namely through more opportunities for higher education WITHOUT having to practically mortgage a house to do so, vocational and union journeyman programs being pushed just as much as college in our high schools, and employee training-- yeah, hear that employers? Don't piss away money on stupid HR propaganda like personality tests that don't tell you anything about your workers; invest in them instead with TRAINING instead of insisting they be born with experience.

While the government needs to have defenses established and military spending is just as important as the other sectors of the budget, not nearly enough is being spent on education, public health initiatives, and environmental actions.