Mattitude's LJ

"are you an illusion or am i just getting stoned?"

silvercircus — Sat, 28 Apr 2007 04:11:42 GMT

hey, everybody. is anyone still here? remember me? yeah. matt dahan here. still not coming back to livejournal... but this is a tradition of mine, for some unexplainable reason. me and my traditions!

MATT DAHAN - WAITING FOR GRAVITY (53:19)

01. REDEMPTION (4:01)
02. IF THESE WALLS COULD TALK (3:18)
03. THE BACK OF A POSTCARD (3:31)
04. NEW BOYFRIEND (4:22)
05. ANGEL IN REPAIR (3:32)
06. WHAT'S THE SITUATION (5:01)
07. THE GARDEN OF EDEN (3:26)
08. WANT (4:12)
09. SHE DOESN'T BEND (SHE BREAKS WITH STYLE) (3:57)
10. SECRET (3:51)
11. ALL THE WAY (3:49)
12. TELEVISION (4:21)
13. WAITING FOR GRAVITY (5:52)

yeah, i just finished my fifth record. those of you who know me know that i'm keeping busy with my band, the radio knights, but that doesn't mean i still can't do my own thing :D i think if my past records have been about leaving home (one fine horizon), heartbreak (scenes from boston) and being at a crossroads (quotes), this one is definately about finding myself and becoming comfortable with myself as a person. it's weird, cos i never really wrote much autobiographical material, and this record is pretty much full of it.

this record was the project following my self titled EP, just four songs, that came up between quotes and the beginning of waiting for gravity. it's been nearly a year since i started recording it, and put everything i had into it (literally). it's my shortest record, but i think that's because i'm writing songs that are more radio friendly. my other records took much quicker to write and record, but this one i think is the best because i was even more nit-pickey then i usually am, and the production is actually pretty decent (thank you, berklee!)

as for what to expect: 'angel in repair' has the best sing-along chorus i've ever written. 'if these walls could talk' sounds like the cure. 'the garden of eden' is about city love. 'what's the situation' is about as industrial rock as i'll probably ever get. 'new boyfriend' has an accordian in it. 'television' is about depression. and 'redemption' is my most favorite song i've ever written. i sincerely hope you enjoy it, if you want a copy of it, shoot me an email at mattdahanmusic@yahoo.com or AIM for me at mapsandkeys13. i hope this finds you all well and smiling. drop me a line sometime, i'd love to hear from you, i MISS you! :D

*tips hat* be seeing you.

"songs you wrote got me through a lot, just thought i'd tell you that"

silvercircus — Thu, 18 Aug 2005 22:39:17 GMT

MATT DAHAN - QUOTES 55:18

01. TEST 4:06
02. JOANNE 3:27
03. THINGS I DID FOR LOVE 4:18
04. GHOSTS 3:46
05. WINDOW SEAT 3:23
06. PUSH 3:41
07. RUNNING FROM THE WORLD LIKE HORSES 4:39
08. OVERTIME 4:35
09. PARALLEL LINES 3:45
10. KEEP ME BY YOUR SIDE 3:45
11. NEXT TIME AROUND 3:36
12. ALSO 4:48
13. HEALING 7:29

the matt dahan trilogy is completed. that's the first thing i thought when i finished up 'overtime', the last song i recorded for the record. this is probably going to be the last record i do solo, cos greg and i are starting up our band next semester in school and we'll be going over the past 3 albums worth of material for a while before we do our own recordings. hey, it was a good ride. don't think i'm gonna stop recording, though, cos that'll never happen. it's just good to finally have this third record under my belt.

i started it two days after i finished 'scenes from boston', which was late january, and just finished about an hour ago. it's funny how my albums go on a half year basis. next week, it will be a year since i finished 'one fine horizon', and a half year later, i finished 'scenes', now this thing. each record is almost identical in length (55:53. 56:21, 55:18), each album takes a half a year to make. this one's the most powerpop of the three, i think i found a groove on this record. if anyone wants to hear it, just drop me a line or visit my myspace and purevolume pages, songs will surely be up there. and i think it's noteworthy to tell you that this album has a few guest stars: on 'parallel lines', my friend nick baxter from school plays guitar, and on 'healing', jamie morris sings with me. they both rock a lot and are therefore awesome. my favorites are 'joanne', 'overtime', 'running from the world like horses' and 'push'. 'also' is pretty. 'keep me by your side' should have been on the last album. 'ghosts' is full of images. and 'test' is just fun to play.

i hope this finds everyone well. no, i'm not coming back to livejournal. it seems like when i told a few people that i was about to finish 'quotes', they were as excited for the LJ post as much as the album being done. well, here it is, i hope you like this and the album, i'll be seeing you. take care everyone, and if you only know of me through this electronic service, well... you'll probably hear back from me in february.

until then. *tips hat*

New Album

silvercircus — Thu, 24 Feb 2005 02:30:32 GMT

MATT DAHAN - SCENES FROM BOSTON (56:21)

01. HEARTBEAT, HEARTBREAK (5:27)
02. FOUR SHADOWS (3:46)
03. EVEN ODDS (4:12)
04. IT DOESN'T FEEL LIKE FEBRUARY (3:19)
05. LAST WORDS (4:40)
06. WHATEVER IT TAKES (3:48)
07. PARALLEL LINES (3:37)
08. THE FIRES (3:04)
09. CALL ME ANYTHING (3:48)
10. THINKING OUT LOUD (4:56)
11. DON'T LOOK DOWN (3:52)
12. FOR A FRIEND (2:41)
13. PASSENGERS (9:11)

i finished my second album, 'scenes from boston', today... i've been recording since october, and if anyone wants to hear some of the tunes, just get in touch with me, i'd love to show you. my last disk was kind of iffy, but this one is straight up PIANO ROCK. so be prepared for a blast of bruce hornsby/billy joel/ben folds/matt dahan into your system. it is pop piano rock, and i hope you love it as much as i do playing it.

if you're wondering, no... i'm not coming back to livejournal. i just thought about when i finished my last album, and i posted the tracks here first. well, this album is about an hour old, so for sentimentality's sake, there it is. i hope this finds you all well, take care of each other. and who knows. maybe next time i finish a record, i'll be back here. *smile*

"you can be mad in the morning"

silvercircus — Fri, 30 Jul 2004 22:03:55 GMT

TRACK 6: 'LULLABY' (3:53)

smooth out the sheets, go to bed
the day has been long, so rest your head
on nights when a shadow on your skin
feels like the weight of the world within
it’s alright,
sleep easy tonight.

remember the days when we lived like an ocean
forgetting the consequences of our emotions
everything always seemed so right
so drift back there when you can’t sleep at night
it’s alright,
sleep easy tonight.

refusing to bend while willing to break
is a risk that you must be willing to take
for tomorrow is brighter than it seems
you might lose the battle but you’ll win the war
cos there’s something out there to believe in and worth fighting for
isn’t that why we hold on to dreams?

smooth out the sheets, go to bed
the day has been long so rest your head.
on a clear night when the moon is all you see
up in the clouds; that is where you and i will be.
writing down yesterdays, making plans
forging tomorrows with our own hands
making a lullaby.

refusing to bend while willing to break
is a risk that we must be willing to take
for tomorrow is brighter than it seems
we might lose the battle but we’ll win the war
cos there’s something out there to believe in and worth fighting for
isn’t that why we hold on to dreams?

sleep easy tonight.

"i'm standing on the edge of everything new"

silvercircus — Tue, 27 Jul 2004 21:21:29 GMT

01. WHAT ABOUT (5:07)
02. SHINE ON (4:23)
03. DO YOU BELIEVE IN US (3:55)
04. EVEN WHEN I FEEL INVISIBLE (3:47)
05. FOLLOW ME (4:48)
06. LULLABY (4:05)
07. FATE (4:11)
08. COME HOME TO ME (4:24)
09. THE AIR WE BREATHE (3:49)
10. ----- TBA
11. LET THE RAIN FALL (4:02)
12. ALIVE (4:10)
13. ONE FINE HORIZON (5:36)

new developments: the introduction of 'follow me' to the track listing totally shuffled around the original track listing cos of its length and style. and i really love it alot, it really came to life during recording. the song 'lullaby' is currently being worked on, and is in pre-production, i'm planning on starting up dropping tracks this morning. it is alot slower and different in style than many of the other album tracks. and yes, after 'lullaby', there is just one song to go and the album is complete.

just in case y'all were wondering.

"when i speak i cross my fingers"

silvercircus — Tue, 20 Jul 2004 07:01:34 GMT

i bought a bunch of CDs recently. i bought "hopes and fears" by keane, "the beautiful letdown" by switchfoot, "fantasies and delusions" by billy joel and "goldfly" by guster. i love them all and i wish i could listen to all four simultaneously, but that would just be a mess, now, wouldn't it? you can't always get what you want (yes, but if you try sometimes just might find you'll get what you need).

i slept like a brick last night. woot. i found a new appreciation for sleep. it's wonderful, what a novelty. when you're tired, sleep makes you feel better. that's awesome. well, i did stay up kind of late, cos i watched wrestling, and then i watched 'The Joe Shmo Show 2', which has the TV love of my life, Amanda as the star. she's just so nice and genuine, and it makes me feel kind of bad, cos the concept of that show is that she is the only real person on a reality show with all actors. i love the show, but i just wish i could just tell her that the show was fake and they're playing a trick on her. poor girl. i have a feeling she'll be okay when she finds out, though.

i watched a movie last night called "it happened one night", starring clark gable. i think that guy is the man. he kind of acted like me, which is awesome. and even though that movie was made in the 30's, he stole my style. at any rate, if he was around today, we'd be tight.

"she says she has no time for you now"

silvercircus — Sat, 17 Jul 2004 22:17:44 GMT

not sleeping... eh. whatever. i haven't updated in a while... i think i'm kind of losing my taste for livejournal. i'm not going to be updating a ton, but i think i'll stick around. we'll play it as it comes. lets see what's new: i can't decide what song to record, and i am listening to lots of keane and third eye blind. billy joel too. i wish i could write a simple song. something easy. i'm gonna try that, tomorrow. today. it is today, anyways. man. i'm going to sleep now. bring on the morning, i'm ready for it. god knows what today's gonna be like... i sure as hell don't.

one day at a time.

"what's the use in hiding?"

silvercircus — Thu, 08 Jul 2004 05:22:46 GMT

woah.

WOAH.

the dave matthews show last night was absolutely...

woah. *dies*

seriously, he just keeps getting better. his set was so tight, and the combination of his energy, the audience's energy, the atmosphere and the void of being able to control your body made it the most amazing DMB show for me yet. what a way to spend my 4-year anniversary. now, what i always do is a set list review, song by song. i actually wrote the set list on my arm (as did george, who i am no longer mad at cos this show was better than last nights). here is my review, all nicely underneath the lj-cut:

01. TOO MUCH: when dave came on, george and i were screaming for 'two step'. when they kicked into 'too much', though, we kind of forgot about it. it was amazing watching them open with such a powerful song, they are so damn tight. and it also showcased each member of the bend, even my man butch taylor on the keyboards (i have his keyboard).

02. GRANNY: george and i play this dave song every single time we get together with our guitars. it was so awesome, it is such a chill song that had an ending that we didn't wish would... well... end.

03. DON'T BURN THE PIG: one of my three predictions comes true! i went crazy, jumping and flying around and such, which was easy, cos we had aisle seats. we were dancing in the aisle. it was awesome. this song was amazing live, i took out my cell phone and recorded part of it so i can listen to it all the time.

04. SUGAR WILL: the first new song of the night. i was kind of hoping he wouldn't play much new stuff, but i ended up being really into all four new songs they played. this song was a pure groove, full of rhythm and movement. i got excited for the new album instantly.

05. BARTENDER: it keeps on coming. i have never heard a better 'bartender', and they played this for me when i saw them four years ago. what an amazing song, it went on for ten minutes, and butch had an awesome solo. butch is the man, by the way.

06. WHEN THE WORLD ENDS: tight. probably one of my favorite songs off of 'everyday', it's always a welcome addition to any dave set. you can tell how much he loves playing it by the way the band doesn't stop smiling.

07. DRIVE IN DRIVE OUT: the quinnessential (sp?) dave-dance song. i saw this song only once more, the fourth time i saw dave. this time around was even better, with even more dave-dance and the audience was going wild (the wildest being myself). this song has so much energy and tension that it made me want to rush the stage and pick up the extra guitar that dave had on stage, or at the other keyboard that butch wasn't playing.

08. CRAZY EASY: another new tune, and i loved it even more than the first new one he played last night (this is a trend, just for future refrence). all of the new songs he played were both very rhythmic and melodic, reminiscent of old dave. this makes me very happy.

09. LAP STEEL INTRO: who knew that stefan can play lap steel? he dropped his bass and picked up a lap steel rig, and i knew what was coming next... there's only one dave song that has lap steel in it, and sure enough, an awesome lap steel solo went right into ->

10. GRACE IS GONE: amazing. every single time i hear this song live it's such a moving experience. they really nailed it, it is a song that really touches you live. it was great to hear the crowd getting into it too. by this time, i was completely out of my seat and into the aisle. i would not return.

11. RECENTLY: i get a step closer to becoming the zen-dmb-fan like i said, cos this is another one of my three predictions! i love this song so much, it's one of the oldest dave songs ever recorded. i had this weird dance going on with my hands in the air and swaying and... nevermind.

12. GREY STREET: *shivers* holy crap... this song was unreal. i don't know how he did it, i absolutely lost it (along with half of mansfield). he played this for the first time in massachusetts four years ago at my foxboro show... it's like he knew it was our anniversary.

13. HELLO AGAIN: another new song, this one really got me going. it had a such a bluegrass feel to it, and it kicked in like a mofo, i was jumping up screaming incoherantly cos i had no idea what the words were except "hello again". george and i think this will be a great encore song cos he would walk out on stage after leaving and say "...hello again".

14. ANTS MARCHING: okay, wtf, this is seriously the coolest thing ever. busting out ants inside the set was so amazing, i think i was running on pure adrenaline. the roof flew off of the tweeter center, and the crowd lost it. everybody was dancing, it was a sea of movement. by now, there were another 20 people in the aisle of section 11 (where george and i pioneered). it was such a dave moment... anything can happen, and everybody's like brothers and sisters... or husband and wife... or just related. yeah, related.

15. CRY FREEDOM: dave matthews really made a statement by playing this amazing song. it was like he hyped up the audience so much with 'ants' that he had everybody's attention to make a point, and he chose his freedom song. it made me want to cry. what an amazing moving moment.

16. JOY RIDE: can you say 'new single'? i loved this song so much, it made me want to find dave after the show and make him record it studio right then and there, then burn me the first copy. it was the last new tune he played, and i flipped out, it was absolutely incredible. the best new song he played.

17. EVERYDAY (#36): this song is a trip in itself. it's amazing to witness, cos 'everyday' used to be '#36', who's main line was 'honey honey, come and dance with me'. nobody was singing 'pick me up love, from the bottom' or any lyric from 'everyday' to start it out during the beginning of the song, the entire crowd sang along to '#36', which the band loved and they integrated the song into the ending as well. it was so amazing.

18. STAY: if you told me that this would be my favorite moment of the concert, i would say that you were crazy. but this is where i absolutely lost control of my mind and body. by this time, most of our section was in the aisle, and the whole tweeter center turned into one person, moving together to the music. i did not want this song to end, and for a while it didn't... i think he said 'makes you wanna makes you wanna stay' about a million times. he could have done it a million more and i would have still been dancing.

ENCORE:

19. SO MUCH TO SAY: george called this one. i loved hearing the hit song late in the set, any song off of 'crash' is awesome to listen to. i knew he wouldn't end on this song, and boy, was i right, cos it went right into a song that i didn't expect ->

20. ANYONE SEEN THE BRIDGE?: my dave matthews mind went crazy... this little intro song had been around for years, and i never once heard it lead into anything but 'too much', which was the song they opened with. i had no idea what was coming next. to my pleasant surprise... ->

21. PANTALA NAGA PAMPA: ...oh yeah. i was back on track. this short little ditty always lead into one of my favorite dave songs, and one of my favorite dave songs to dance to. this was going to be a rocking finale, i knew it right away... ->

22. RAPUNZEL: i could not stop playing the version of this from 'the gorge' box set i got, but live is a whole different story. it was so tight that my head was going to explode. it was so amazing watching them close on such an amazing song, an amazing set for an amazing night. this song had the most dave dance, he was all over the place. stefan was even dancing, with boyd. carter was going wild, and leroi was soloing like wild. i had died and gone to music heaven.

... woah. i can't believe i just saw dave matthews last night. he better come back soon, cos i don't think i can go another two years without seeing him again.

"i'm wrong, i swear i'm right"

silvercircus — Wed, 07 Jul 2004 09:12:36 GMT

if you go back four years ago tomorrow, it would be the first time i had ever seen the dave matthews band. since then, i have seen him four more times, and i am seeing him tonight. here are the dates that i went:

1. July 8, 2000 - Foxboro, MA
2. December 11, 2000 - Boston, MA
3. June 17, 2001 - Foxboro, MA
4. April 8, 2002 - Boston, MA
5. July 23, 2002 - Mansfield, MA
6. July 7, 2004 - Mansfield, MA

so basically, it's been a long time coming for me on this show, it doesn't seem like two years since i saw him last. i feel like of delinquent, what kind of dave fan am i? well, in all fairness, he did have two solo tours, so dave shows were not as frequent. bah.

i'm pissed at george cos he went last night and his show was ridiculous. they played some songs that i wanted to see tonight, and i know that they won't repeat them tonight (the song that jane likes, warehouse, crush). but the good news is that they did not play my current number-one-dave-song-that-i-have-not-seen-live, and i'm pretty good with those over the past few shows. two shows ago, the song was "lie in our graves", which they played. then last time it was "tripping billies", which they played. this time, it's "two step". oh god, if they play two step i'll probably mess myself, no joke. so yes, i am going to make three bold predictions on what songs they will play, based on recent set lists. they will play "two step", "pig" and "recently". how cool will it be if they play all three? then you can just call me the zen-dmb-fan. yeah, that has a ring to it.

"when it's not enough just to be sorry"

silvercircus — Mon, 05 Jul 2004 03:04:02 GMT

who's up writing and recording at 5:30 again? this guy, right here.

i know that i talked about my three options of songs to record for my next album track, but at about 4 this morning i decided on something completely different (obviously). i dug up a track called "follow me" that i liked but never really fully developed. it has catchy hooks and nearly complete lyrics (at least it has a structure). it's a complex song, though, without a solid chordal structure. so i got out of bed at the said time to play my keys downstairs to try and figure out some chords.

yeah, sleep still isn't coming easy.

i think i've hit a rut. i know it sounds weird, with just three songs to go and all, but i know a rut when i'm in one, i've been in too many not to notice. the funny thing is that i have a half dozen song ideas at my fingertips, but none of them are clicking. it's very frustrating, but if i just stick with it something will surely come. i have a feeling i will not get much work done on "follow me" this morning. but it's better than just sitting around waiting for the perfect ideas. cos really, the perfect ideas never just dawn upon you, do they? you have to be thinking about something really hard and working towards it for a while in order to find what you want.

i guess i just don't know right now. but that's okay, right? i'm just going to take it as it comes right now. roll with the punches, keep going my own way. who knows what will happen. that's actually a good song idea right there... ARG i've got to stop this madness!

this is entry #500, by the way. i hope it didn't suck.

"i just might have lost control"

silvercircus — Sat, 03 Jul 2004 21:33:45 GMT

work was average. i got average tips and my head was spinning by the end of the night, but hey, it's kind of thereputic by now. but i could not stop thinking about my major dillema: the next song to record. i think i have the next song decided, a song called "disappear". it's a sadder song than any other, it's about losing the person that you used to be forever. i like the lyrics alot, and the music is beautiful... i just have to finish the song. i had two other contenders, but i have made up my mind by now. it's going to be mellow but powerful.

happy fourth of july, everybody. on that note, i think i'll start a drum track.

"the story about the world"

silvercircus — Sat, 03 Jul 2004 08:54:56 GMT

yesterday was great, i had an all around good time every second of the day. hingham fireworks were cool too... although george and i agreed that the half hour ceremony was "25 minutes too long" (great minds think alike). dougies party was awesome, he is quite the host as always. lots of volleyball. it seems like only george and i take off our shirts while playing, though. i also think george and i are the most intense, we have one nasty set/spike combo. i think it's starting to scare people. well, if you can't stand the heat, get off of the volleyball court, i say (even though george and i are yet to win a game this season).

marlon brando. i'm gonna miss him, he was a true credit to hollywood and a brilliant versatile actor. he will be sincerily missed. the don forever.

"leave your footprints in the sand"

silvercircus — Thu, 01 Jul 2004 20:52:54 GMT

i finished the song today like i said, "fate"... the milestone song, song 10/13. i'm so excited! and get this... it's a genuinely happy exciting song that is something you can really get into, blast on your stereo. it even has an organ solo, it's totally rocking! you have to hear it to beleive it, though. i'm just glad i wrote a song that turned out to be completely happy for the album, someone suggested that to me a while ago and i'm glad i heeded the suggestion. alot of my album's material is heavier, so this song is a welcome addition. i like it so much, i'm pushing back an older recording that i made to put it in the 5 spot. so here's the track listing so far:

01. what about (5:07)
02. shine on (4:23)
03. do you believe in us (3:55)
04. even when i feel invisible (3:47)
05. fate (4:11)
06. come home to me (4:24)
07. the air we breathe (3:49)
08. -- to be recorded
09. -- to be recorded
10. -- to be recorded
11. let the rain fall (4:02)
12. alive (4:10)
13. one fine horizon (5:36)

so excited! oh my god, this song is really making me happy. if want to be in a good mood, i'll send it to you... "don't let the others try and break you / become who you are / cos fate can only carry you so far!" it reminds me of a slide show of the past...

"are you looking for answers..."

silvercircus — Wed, 30 Jun 2004 21:42:27 GMT

today was quite a day. i woke up at 11-ish, after an interesting dream. it was cool, it had to do with a 24-like situation, and i ended up saving the day. it was awesome! well, i guess you had to be there. hung out with jamie for a while... it was good to see her, i hadn't seen her since my graduation party way back when. we hung out outside, it was a beautiful day today. by the time that wound down, i had to go to work and work i did... i busted my ass from 5-12 and i got such bad tips it should be illegal. i then gave my sister her present, but i felt bad and like a horrible person cos i gave it to her after her birthday. i felt horrible, i am such a bad brother... then i got here. writing. thinking about my next move... i think i'm going to record a song today. seriously, that's what i do, and it beats feeling down about myself, so i'm all for it. the song "fate" is next. then my new exciting song, "don't let go", which i am liking more and more. then again, i have work today too. my soul feels heavy (along with the rest of me) so it's my curtain... at least for tonight.

"oh simple thing, where have you gone?"

silvercircus — Tue, 29 Jun 2004 10:18:18 GMT

i feel so tense... my muscles are aching, and no matter how much i stretch or work them, they're hurting. it's insane, after i got out of bed this morning, i looked at my bed. it was a disaster scene, like someone just threw all my sheets on top of my bed, pillows strewn everywhere. nevermind the fact that i didn't sleep well, this was my failed attempt to even get comfortable. one of those nights again, lost in my own head.

anyways, today i picked up the new dave matthews band live release "live at the gorge", an album that i forgot was being released... you know that i'm having an off day when i forget a dave matthews band release date.

edit (2:46 PM): the version of 'dancing nancies' on "live at the gorge" is probably the sexiest thing i have ever heard. can you say 'eargasm'?

"everywhere you turn i'll be there"

silvercircus — Mon, 28 Jun 2004 17:42:30 GMT

That there, that's not me
i go where i please
i walk through walls
i float down the Liffey
i'm not here
this isn't happening
i'm not here, i'm not here

in a little while i'll be gone
the moment's already passed
yeah it's gone
and I'm not here
this isn't happening
i'm not here, i'm not here

strobe lights and blown speakers
Fireworks and hurricanes
i'm not here
this isn't happening
i'm not here
i'm not here.

"where did you go now?"

silvercircus — Sat, 26 Jun 2004 22:48:01 GMT

listening to lots of third eye blind soothes me. that's not a good thing.

evidence:
exhibit A: "palm reader"
exhibit B: "my time in exile"
exhibit C: "bad company"
exhibit D: "losing a whole year"
exhibit E: "forget myself"

*sigh* this is going to be another long night.

"where is the road i follow?"

silvercircus — Fri, 25 Jun 2004 22:31:17 GMT

looking through my old poetry, i found something that i wrote as a joke a few years ago. i thought of those chinese late night restaurants that always have that one guy inside who is sipping tea, totally alone... why would anyone want to go to a place like that at two AM when you should be sleeping, i thought to myself. but hey, just like "the air we breathe", i finally understand...

sipping at my green tea
at the golden panda
at two in the morning.
they talk to me, but i can’t
understand what they’re saying
i wish that it wasn’t so wierd.
let me think about it for a while...
like the ampersand in the m&m
i always tried
to hold things together
but time got the best of me,
and i was stuck in between.

sipping at my green tea
at the indigo garden at four am.
i don’t know what it is about
chinese food that allows me to
go there when they open.
let me think about it for a while
i didn’t want be over this...
i didn’t want history to repeat
but when my flag falls at your feet
it may be time to surrender.

thats not the way it used to be
i didn’t even drink tea.
we’d stay up all night
talking to the twilight
joking about those
people who crash at
chinese dives in the am.
there's reason about all of these burdens,
i know i should be resigned, but
look at me - i sense defeat.
my flag is falling at your feet.

"we want more than this world has to offer"

silvercircus — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 06:55:32 GMT

1. shine on (4:23)
2. do you believe in us (3:55)
3. come home to me (4:24)
4. the air we breathe (3:49)
5. let the rain fall (4:02)

this is my solo radio release. it's called 'windmill LP', after the windmill in hull. i'm going to make a serious push to get some college radio play over the next few months, and this will be the five-song LP that i will distribute. i already have waiver forms on the way from a lowell radio station, so it's good to get the ball rolling, i have a feeling that this is the start of something good. i can't help but be really excited at times like this. it's a dream come true to be on the radio. as for my full length solo album 'one fine horizon', i expect another month of production could cap it off, so mid july is my tentative date of post production. i'm going to keep very busy with that, so i can get my album out there as soon as humanly possible. also, expect a web site to be launched soon!

"if only i don't bend and break"

silvercircus — Mon, 21 Jun 2004 22:00:36 GMT

how am i supposed to feel?

"get yourself together"

silvercircus — Sun, 20 Jun 2004 21:08:30 GMT

if my life was a movie, this is the soundtrack...

Opening Credits: U2 - Where The Streets Have No Name
Waking-up Scene: Howie Day - Collide
Average-day scene: Billy Joel - Summer, Highland Falls
Best-friend scene: Dave Matthews Band - The Best Of What's Around
First-date scene: Dashboard Confessional - The So Impossible EP
(For You To Notice, So Impossible, Remember To Breathe, Hands Down)
Falling-in-love scene: Dave Matthews Band - #41
Love scene: U2 - Can't Help Falling In Love
Fight-with-friend scene: Foo Fighters - Low
Break-up scene: Stroke 9 - Letters
Get-back-together scene: Bare Naked Ladies - Call and Answer
"Life's okay" scene: Weezer - Holiday
Heartbreak scene: David Grey - Say Hello Wave Goodbye
Mental-breakdown scene: Radiohead - Climbing Up The Walls
Driving scene: U2 - Mofo
Triumphant scene: Third Eye Blind - Eye Conqueror
Lesson-learning scene: Jimmy Eat World - Just Watch The Fireworks
Deep-thought scene: Radiohead - Street Spirit
Flashback scene: Filter - Take a Picture
Party scene: U2 - Discoteque
Happy dance scene: Ben Folds Five - Philosophy
Regret scene: Third Eye Blind - My Time In Exile
Long-night-alone scene: Bruce Springsteen - One Step Up
Death scene: Jimmy Eat World - Hear You Me
Closing credits: U2 - Walk On

"it was a long time ago"

silvercircus — Wed, 16 Jun 2004 06:47:02 GMT

listening to the two most recent songs i have recorded ('let the rain fall' and 'the air we breathe'), i notice how completely different they are. 'let the rain fall' is upbeat and lively, pulsing like wild to a lively tempo, absolutely driven. 'the air we breathe' is the opposite. it is slow, soft, almost jazzy, and drifting. most of 'let the rain fall' is in my high register, and the opposite for 'the air we breathe'. what caused this difference? they are both written solely by me, and going on the same album, how can they be so contrasting?

'let the rain fall' came to me in english class just over a month ago. i wrote 'the air we breathe' almost four years ago. the time difference does not usually show up in my songwriting, but in these two, it's overwhelming. it kind of makes me want to go crazy.

four years ago, i did not write about truth, i wrote about situations. i had an active imagination, and the result was 'the air we breathe'. what i'm saying is, what happens in the song is not real. it's fake. it is something that i grew to hate as a songwriter, cos now i embrace the real and concrete. i thought i would never go back to this song, it's from a stage of my career that i do not think highly of, most of the songs are dark and depressing. but this song has taken on a new life over the past month. i used to think that i was taking a chance by reserving a spot on the album for it. now i know that it is the perfect choice. even though this song does not have roots in real life, it has grown roots in my mind. 'the air we breathe' is about lonliness and searching, and that's where i am at. i never would have thought it, but i have taken the song to heart. i have found the base of this song, and it has increased its value to me tenfold.

now, while this is good for my album, it is not good for me. i've been drifting, just like 'the air we breathe', which is why it is the song that symbolizes my mood as of late. i'm searching for something. what am i searching for? who knows. maybe i'm searching for release, for peace, or perhaps just a way to calm down from the storm of the last month of my life. whatever it is, i hope i can find this calm soon. cos it's starting to get to me.

the funny thing is this: the most powerful line in the song comes in the bridge, when i leave my low register and jump just about an octave up to sing "it was all i ever wanted". oddly enough, this is the most emotional line in the song, and maybe even the most emotional line on the album. it makes me laugh to think about it, cos it had no meaning to me for three years and eleven months. but now it means so much more to me.

my feet hit the ground, the sound is deafening
it's raining down on me
umbrella can't protect me from the fear of feeling lonely.

it was a long time ago,
it was a long time ago.

calling for you in everywhere i look and go
to your house, out my window
i scan the landscape for a sunset,
but my sky is clouded with regret.

it was a long time ago,
it was a long time ago,
it was a long time ago,
it was a long time ago.

forget the pain, i want you here
here by my side, wishing me love
it was all i ever wanted
did we really dissapear into the air,
the air we breathe? in oxygen?
it's everywhere i go...

it was a long time ago,
it was a long time ago.

"hey love, i am a constant satellite"

silvercircus — Fri, 28 May 2004 21:55:00 GMT

tell me what you think... it's a song for the album. it's about finding and being comfortable with the person that you are. it's just solo piano and voice, and honestly... i go through phases where i favor one song that i do quite much. tonight is the night for "alive". look and see, if you will.

Everything around me looks familiar...
Shapes and patterns of yesterday form pages of a diary
That I wrote in when I felt like breathing new air.
Walls dissolve and I can feel the rain on my head
Leaving me breathless and pure.

No I’m not the same anymore.
I grew up with my hands in the air,
Reaching for an ideal that was not even there.
I’ve lived with the risks I took and I fell down again and again;
But it’s okay to fall if you can get yourself up
In the world you’re livin’ in.
From the depths of the places I’ve been,

I’ve found a home
I’m settling down
It’s the air we breathe
It’s all around.
My back to the wind
Flowing with the tide
Hold on
Cos I’m just beginning to feel alive.

Close your eyes till fall feels like springtime
And if you can’t find your way to believing
Trust in the glow, follow the candlelight
Let us dance in the light of angels all through tonight

I can’t feel the anguish of my body hitting the ground anymore
I can’t feel lost in this world I know
I can’t feel nervous when I am holding your hand
I can’t feel numb anymore.

I’ve found a home
I’m settling down
It’s the air we breathe
It’s all around.
My back to the wind
Flowing with the tide
Hold on
Cos I’m just beginning to feel alive.
I’m just beginning to feel alive.

before i go, let me tell you: the song that i'm listening to is so gorgeous and beautiful that it makes me want to write nothing but sweet songs ever again. seriously. check it out, it will change your life. call me a sucker for beautiful piano ballads, but this one has hit me harder than others.

ps. i just realized that i haven't updated in forever. yes, i am recording an album. i'll write more about that later.

"i feel stupid, but it's something that comes and goes"

silvercircus — Mon, 17 May 2004 13:04:27 GMT

i miss y'all in LJ land. i hopefully will be back soon.

leave a comment if you remember i even had a journal :D that would pick me up.

"how do i say goodbye?"

silvercircus — Mon, 18 Aug 2003 14:54:50 GMT

i'm going to finish my musical's script tonight.

i'm going to write a very very VERY long entry about it once it's done... i'm just giving y'all the heads up, cos i don't have any words to say right now, it's strange. i just want to write it, quite frankly. i'll be back, though, no worries.