psycho killer

silver_perth — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 04:33:22 GMT

I'm falling in love again. I think it's time. I'm excited.

silver_perth — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 02:18:56 GMT

ayonks.blogspot.com

silver_perth — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 04:48:22 GMT

So I'm going abroad this spring.

I'm going to be in London from February to the beginning of June.

I am so excited. I'm nervous too, but I know this experience is going to be amazing.

On some level I feel like I'm using my study abroad as an excuse to run away from my life for a while...

but maybe that isn't such a bad thing...

yes, i did just put this in a facebook note.

silver_perth — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 18:15:00 GMT

I've begun to realize how much of a waste of time and money college is. It's a trap. Kids are pretty much forced to spend at least 4 years of their young adult life learning something that probably isn't going to have much of an impact on their life afterwards. At least I feel this is my position. As I get older, I realize how much I love learning..and I wish I could just learn for the sake of learning, not to take prescribed classes so I can get a degree. I could spend my money learning something I really love...like history or art...but neither of those are going to do my any real good when I graduate. I don't want to be a teacher or an artist. I would like to have a steady job to sustain myself. I know those aren't the only options for those avenues, but if I wanted to further my options for a job in that field I would have to go to school longer.

I don't think it's fair for families to have to shell out thousands upon thousands of dollars on their child just so they can get a "better than average" job. Especially now that "better than average" jobs STILL mean you barely make enough money to live, let alone pay your mortgage. Sweet.

It makes me sick how this economy is doing. Prices for everything are going up. Including wheat. People now have to pay more for bread. Tuition is going up. Gas is more expensive now in real dollars than it was during the OPEC crisis in the 70s. Granted, its still cheaper than pretty much everywhere else...But people are making LESS in real dollars than they were decades ago. So basically we're earning less and paying more for the same stuff.

And I'm paying 8k out of MY OWN pocket (rather, a loan that I will be paying off from my own pocket) on top of the 10 that my parents are and the 8 that I get from being smart. I know i'm in a better position than some, but still. Other countries pay less for the whole term than we do for one year.

I dont know...I guess what I'm trying to say is that college is no longer the luxury it once was. It's now a necessity, but the luxury price tag hasn't changed.

I'm going to school to get a degree that will (hopefully) guarantee a decent job for me in a field I am midly interested in. However, I will probably leave that job when I want to have a family because (everybody prepare yourselves...) I really just want to be a mom. GOD FORBID. I want to be able to afford to have a family, so I guess that's why I'm in business school getting a marketing degree rather than an art history degree. I want to be able to have a family and live as comfortably as my family did/does. And be there for it. I hate nannys. I want to be the one to take care of my kid - not some random full-time babysitter.

It frustrates me to no end that I have to go through this route to accomplish what was the norm 50 years ago.

It's times like these when I really just want to leave school and move to another country where so much isn't expected from you.

gah. I just don't understand. This really isn't where I want to be, but I can't get away from it without throwing away everything I want to become.

It's a vicious cycle.

</rant>

silver_perth — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 07:06:19 GMT

twenty years. i guess i'm really not a kid anymore.

silver_perth — Tue, 01 Jan 2008 06:09:04 GMT

oh jeez. its 2008. i'm stressed out for some reason.

silver_perth — Sat, 29 Dec 2007 16:31:30 GMT

01. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?
got a job in retail (twice over)

02. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I dont even remember last year...but I'll try this year...really.

03 Did anyone close to you give birth?
no

04 Did anyone close to you die?
a few people who were close to the people close to me.

05 What countries did you visit?
France & Switzerland.

06 What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
my own apartment.

07 What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
my first days at the body shop and fruits and passion (they were soooo different) orientation for suffolk. going to the melting pot with evan for the first time.

08 What was your biggest achievement of the year?
getting a 3.8 gpa while working an average of 20-25 hours a week.

09 What was your biggest failure?
not seeing my friends and being flaky.

10 Did you suffer illness or injury?
nothing serious. colds and migraines....well i did go the er twice about a possible tick bite and concussion....but it wasn't either time.

11 What was the best thing you bought?
hmmm perhaps my perfect tea maker. i dont know.

12 Whose behavior merited celebration?
Evan. for putting up with me. and being there when i needed him.

13 Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Evan...but only a couple times.

14 Where did most of your money go?
food.

15 What did you get really, really, really excited about?
my trip to europe. the melting pot.

16 What song will always remind you of 2007?
um. i dont know. the year is too damn long to sum up in one song!

17 Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder? Happier i think.

b) thinner or fatter? probably a little bit bigger.

c) richer or poorer? poorer, but i'll get by

18 What do you wish you'd done more of?
saved my paychecks instead of squandering them! and visiting friends.

19 What do you wish you'd done less of?
working. crying.

20 How will you be spending Christmas?
kansas

22 Did you fall in love in 2007?
i already was

23 How many one-night stands?
hopefully none!

24 What was your favorite TV program?
ANTM, Project Runway, Lost

25 Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
no

26 What was the best book you read?
harry potter....ugh, isn't that terrible! i think its the only one i read....i have a pile of other books i have started/plan on reading though.

27 What was your greatest musical discovery?
Sweeney Todd - the full broadway music, not the chopped up movie one.

28 What did you want and get?
a more stable family (i think) and a pretty decent job.

29 What did you want and not get?
thinner i guess.

30 What was your favorite film of this year?
there were a lot. i dont even remember. did children of men come out this year? i really liked that.

31 What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
went to the cheesecake factory with some friends and 19

32 What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
having time to do drama.

33 How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
jeans and old navy.

34 What kept you sane?
well its more of a who. and it was kelly or evan, depending on the situation...they also both made me insane sometimes.

35 Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
what does that mean?

36 What political issue stirred you the most?
poop

37 Whom did you miss?
my good friends.

38 Who was the best new person you met?
kelly

39 Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.
dont bite off more than you can chew. (yay cliches!)

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
And all the spilt milk, sex and weight
It all will fall, fall right into place

silver_perth — Tue, 31 Jul 2007 02:39:14 GMT

i'm sitting here, listening to the crane wife and evan eating pretzels.

the stress in my life has come to a head again. I can't deal with it much longer. I am the small child in a messy custody battle between my managers and its wearing me way too thin. i'm scheduled for 43 hours this week, not including the 6.5 i worked doing heavy labor yesterday morning in prep for a huge store change that natick is one of three in north america to take part in for the body shop. i'm not complaining (maybe a little) I mean, i wanted to be a part of that move, i just wish my managers would get over each other so i could actually have a day off. i love how my title is "part time assistant manager" but i work more than both of my managers...and isn't it kind of illegal to schedule people for more than 40 hours? especially because i'm only supposed to work 25?...um yea, sweet deal. I've worked every day since last wednesday and i dont see a day off in the next week or so. I dont know, i just feel like i'm losing touch with my life. I like the people i work with (with one exception), but i see them more than anyone else. I'm sorry i've fallen off the planet. if you want to see me i'll be at work, but i'll appreciate the distraction.
we dont actually have a manager in wellesley. there's an "acting manager"..who is leaving on saturday. and I'm pretty much going to be in charge, which is great because I'm not going to get paid for the work that i'll be doing. I'm pretty much falling into that position and I won't be recognized for it. I talked to my district manager breifly about it today. It's all a mess and its compounding to a terrible mess in my well-being.

and Evan and i cant find an apartment.

I dont need any of this right now.

I burned green tea home fragrance oil today at work and it reminded me of my room senior year, because i burned that scent. and for the first time i really missed being in that room; in that bubble.

silver_perth — Mon, 02 Jul 2007 15:08:24 GMT

well hello livejournal world. what a long time it has been. I've been around...sneakily reading and catching up on everyone but never getting the energy or will to post.

Right now i'm laying on an inflatable bed in Evan's stepdad's record room (thats a room filled with records) in wichita, kansas.

we drove here. it was long.

i work at the body shop in natick and wellesley. stop by you massholes i know.

um. i'm moving to boston at the end of the summer. i'm going to suffolk.

my life is pretty good right now...thats probably why i dont update as much as i used to when i thought my life was SOOO SHITTY (8th - 10th grade?) yeah.

i've had this baby for so long, i should just kill it. but i cant. its a part of me. so much of me is in this stupid online journal. it boggles the mind.

silver_perth — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 18:31:23 GMT

today i gave blood. i felt good. until i got back to my dorm and almost passed out.

i got up the hill to my dorm, then up the stairs to my floor and i had to pee, and by the time i got to the bathroom i was sweating profusely and shaking and nauseaus. so i got into a stall, almost collapsed while fiddling with my belt and then fell onto the toilet. i couldnt get back up. i was still shaking and sweating and nauseaus and i couldnt move. i couldnt take off my coat. it was terrifying. i thought i was going to pass out and someone was going to find me on the bathroom floor. how embarrasing. its one thing to pass out in your room or in the hallway, but in the bathroom...please. so i finally got the energy needed to walk the 20 feet more to my room and i collapsed onto my bed, which is where i am now, and i dont plan on moving. ever. again.

i dont know if i want to give blood anymore.

silver_perth — Mon, 11 Dec 2006 18:07:34 GMT

2006
THIS YEAR: ended up better than i thought.

[PEOPLE]
best friend: evan.
lost any friends: yes.
gained any friends: yes

[PLACES]
went out of the country: yep
moved: nope
new school: yes
how many times on an airplane: 6

[YOU]
have you changed: yes
new look: no.
most depressed time this year: i think 2006 was a good year.

[LOVE]
did you fall in love: yes.
did you get heartbroken: no!
who was your summer love: evan. and he's still around

[SEASONS]
favorite Season: in general? fall.
least favorite season: summer? i dont know, i like them all for different reasons.
good birthday: NO! it was the ONLY time i ever had school on my birthday :( whine whine whine.
any snow this year: yes.
highest temperature: hot.

[FINAL QUESTIONS]
kept your resolution? of course not.
got arrested: no
kissed a boy: yep
had a crush: i guess.
got dumped: nope
lost a family member: nope
got bad grades: nope
got a myspace: no
kept a secret: probably
told a secret: yes
done something you totally regret: probably

In 2006 I...
[x] broke a promise
[x] made a new best friend
[x] fallen in love
[ ] fallen out of love
[x] lied
[x] went behind your parents back
[ ] cried over a broken heart
[ ] disappointed someone close
[x] hid a secret
[ ] pretended to be happy
[x] kissed in the rain
[x] slept under the stars
[ ] kept your new years resolution
[x] forgot your new years resolution
[x] met someone who changed your life
[ ] met one of your idols
[ ] changed your outlook on life
[x] sat home all day doing nothing
[x] pretended to be sick
[x] left the country
[ ] almost died
[ ] given up something important to you
[ ] lost something expensive
[x] learned something new about yourself
[x] tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it
[x] made a change in your life
[x] found out who your true friends were
[x] met great people
[ ] stayed up til sunrise
[x] pigged out over the summer
[x] cried over the silliest thing
[ ] partied more than 5 times
[x] was never home on weekends
[ ] got into a car accident
[ ] found a person you never thought you'd become real good friends with
[x] had friends who were drifting away from me
[ ] had someone close to me die
[x] had a high cell phone bill
[x] wasted most of my money on food
[ ] had a fist fight
[x] went to the beach
[x] saw a celebrity
[x] gotten sick
[ ] liked more than 5 people at the same time
[ ] had a wasted night
[ ] became closer to a lot of people

silver_perth — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 22:44:06 GMT

ok. so basically i really like unh.
but i like evan more. and boston.

i really want to go to school there next year, but i dont have the money
my parents wont let me take out a loan, and they will only give me a certain amount of money.
so i would need a job (duh..)

where should i go?

i'm looking at suffolk's sawyer business school.

i dont know why, but i'm really stressed out about this...

help me!

silver_perth — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 04:41:43 GMT

So, here`s how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don`t lie and try to pretend you're cool... and a lot of the songs fit with the setting

Opening Credits: Alien Ant Farm - Smooth Criminal

Waking Up: Daniel Beddingfield - gotta get through this

First Day At School: Gorillaz - white light

Falling In Love: Run DMC - It's Tricky

Fight Song: Mos Def - Brooklyn

Breaking Up: The Beastie boys - Shake Your Rump

Prom: Aha - Take On Me

Life: New Radicals - Someday We'll Know

Mental Breakdown: Iron Butterfly - Ina GaddaDaVida

Driving: Black Eyed Peas - My Humps

Flashback: Styx - The Grand Illusion

Getting back together: Coldplay - Low

Wedding: Pink floyd - One of my turns

Birth of Child: Ween - Don't Shit Where you Eat.

Final Battle: The Dust Brothers - Ikea Man

Death Scene: Fatboy Slim - Praise You

Funeral Song: men at work - who could it be now

End Credits: The decemberists - clementine

hmm. some of those are very good....others? not so much.

silver_perth — Sat, 14 Oct 2006 14:04:59 GMT

damn. i never actually write in here anymore. oh well, its been too long anyway. i mean, i've had this thing since 8th grade. shit. that's crazy!

but...i'm happy, alive and with evan!

i saw a bunch of dana girls yesterday except ashely and aggie because they were both gone! wtf.

but its ok because i hung out with edie and i'm going to see gemma tonight!!!!!

and i'm bringing elio's pizza.

silver_perth — Thu, 14 Sep 2006 17:41:10 GMT

i got a parking spot!!!!

wooooooot!

now i can have my car here and drive down to f-ham (thats what i call it now) to visit evan!!! as much as i want!!!

yay!

so i'm getting an oil change tomorrow.

i hate spending money. lame.

silver_perth — Sun, 03 Sep 2006 00:12:00 GMT

here i am, in college. the other day jenny brought up degrassi, and i havent seen it in a while. and of course there is a marathon tonight. so i have to watch. and quite frankly.

WHAT HAPPENED TO EVERYONE???

this is making me so upset!!!

what happened to the cute environmentally friendly emma? what is this eating disorder thing????GAHH SHES SO SKINNY!! ew shes turned into a bitch!!

i miss the old degrassi. emma and manni friends, the most scandalous thing was that manni wore a thong to school. this drama is killing me. but i cant stop watching.

dun dun dun...i'm falling back into a teribble cycle of degrassiness.

ITS SO INTENSE!!!! 100%

silver_perth — Fri, 25 Aug 2006 22:20:52 GMT

well shit, here i am...at college.

silver_perth — Fri, 25 Aug 2006 00:22:24 GMT

the Cutting Edge

(66% dark, 46% spontaneous, 26% vulgar)

your humor style:
CLEAN | SPONTANEOUS | DARK

Your humor's mostly innocent and off-the-cuff, but somehow there's something slightly menacing about you. Part of your humor is making people a little uncomfortable, even if the things you say aren't themselves confrontational. You probably have a very dry delivery, or are seriously over-the-top.

Your type is the most likely to appreciate a good insult and/or broken bone and/or very very fat person dancing.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: David Letterman - John Belushi

The 3-Variable Funny Test!

- it rules -

If you're interested, try my best friend's best test:
The Genghis Khan Genetic Fitness Masterpiece

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on darkness
You scored higher than 99% on spontaneity
You scored higher than 99% on vulgarity

Link: The 3 Variable Funny Test written by jason_bateman on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

silver_perth — Fri, 11 Aug 2006 15:17:07 GMT

so for the record -- terrorist plot foiled at heathrow yesterday. 21 people in custody (that i know of) and nobody is hurt (thankfully) but now there is chaos in british airports and you arent allowed to carry on anything except your passport, wallet and keys. so i will check EVERYTHING, and hopefully flights will have returned to a somewhat regular schedule by wednesday....when i intend on returning stateside.
i am alive and there are no terrorists here.
no worries!

silver_perth — Tue, 08 Aug 2006 14:32:48 GMT

hello world, yes i am STILL alive, even though i'm not in the country. i managed to spend a week in london by myself and not get killed! hurrah! i'm halfway done with my trip and already have taken over 350 pictures. i'll send a slideshow to anyone who wants one. um. im hopelessly in love with my boyfriend, so for those of you whom i havent seen, you can blame it on that little fact. i'll try to get around to seeing you guys soon, like days when evan is working. because he is pretty much my life right now. and i'm happy with that. so england, its pretty rad. im in oxford now. and getting a little peckish. i might take a nap and then wander around town. or not. hell, i'm happy just to have a computer again. and yes, it will be weird to see tom (he's in spain right now, coming back tonight) but whatever, i'll just be like 'look, im spoken for, so paws off.'
so yes, i am alive and doing well, and will speak to you all in due course!

silver_perth — Sun, 30 Jul 2006 21:39:30 GMT

Who Was The Last Person That
01. You hung out with? evan
02. Rode in a car with? evan
03. Went to the movies with? evan
04. You went to the mall with?: evan.
05. You went to dinner with?: my family...and evan.
06. Talk on the phone to?: mom.

Would You Rather
01. Pierce your nose or tongue?: nose
02. Drink whole or skim milk?: 1%
03. Die in a fire or drown?: drown
04. Spend time with your parents or enemies?: parents

You Prefer
01. Flowers or candy?: flowers
02. White or black?: black
03. Color or Black and white photos?: both depending on the subject
04. Lust or love?: love
05. Sunrise or sunset?: sunrise
et06. M&Ms or Skittles?: mm
07. Staying up late or waking up early?: waking up early

Do You Prefer
01. Sun or moon? moon
02. Winter or Fall?: fall
03. Left or Right?: right
04. 10 acquaintances or two best friends?: best friends
05. Sunny and humid or rainy and cold?: rainy and cold.
06. Vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream?: chocolate

About You
01. What time is it?: 5 32
02. First and middle name?: anne reno
03. What do you want?: no more humidity!
04. Where do you want to live?: everywhere.
05. How many kids do you want?: two or three
06. You want to get married?: yes
07. Are you double jointed?: in my thumbs
08. Can you cross your eyes?: mmhmm
09. Do you make your bed daily?: aw hell no.

In The Last Month Have You
01. Bought something: too many things
02. Sang: oh yes.
03. Been hugged: yes
04. Felt stupid: almost every day!
05. Missed someone: yes.
06. Danced crazy: yes
07. Gotten your hair cut?: no.

Random
01. I am listening to: the fan, and the tv downstairs.
02. Maybe I should: take a cool shower.
03. I love: my boyfriend (awww)
04. My best friends are: amazing even if i dont talk to them enough.
05. I don't understand: the movie cube 2: hypercube.
06. I lost: the will to move.
07. People talk: about stupid things too much
08. The meaning of my screen name is: a tribute to mitch hedberg
09. Love is: pretty alright.
10. Somewhere, someone is: having sex
11. I will always be: a six year old boy.
12. Forever seems: looming and scary.
13. I never want to: be hot.
14. My cell phone: downstairs and it has a greasy screen.
15. When I wake up I: go back to sleep for a while
16. I get annoyed when: people ask really stupid questions <---- YES
17. Parties are: a place for me to feel really socially awkward and i tend to avoid them
18. My dog(s) is/are: very hairy, very smelly and very cute.
19. Today I: picked up shariar with evan at the airport.
20. Tonight I will: watch movies
21. Tomorrow I will: go to england bitches!
22. This weekend I will: be across the pond drinking good beer.

Favorites
01. Color: lime green
02. Fruit: peaches
03. Song: right now? wildcat by ratatat
04. Person: evan.
05. Tv Show: csi or project runway
06. Thing to do: nothing.

silver_perth — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 17:51:34 GMT

im not quite sure what's happened to my will to update. but i just havent felt like i needed to. i just got back from dc. and that was a good time. evan and i stayed at the grand hyatt on capitol hill, which was basically close to everything. we were only there for two full days so we didnt see everything, but we managed. um there are pictures on my facebook if you would like to see them. they're pretty rad. jesus came with us.

i'm sorry that ive been so anti social this summer. but pretty much all of my time is now devoted to working at my moms store and spending time with evan. some may call that lame, but i'm having a good time.

theres a car parked outside and the sun is bouncing off the windshield RIGHT INTO MY EYES its terrible!!

if i wasnt working i would hang out with more of you, but i really need the money.

in case you havent heard, jenny and i are roomates. even though we didnt request each other...we were placed with each other! weirrddd...

um yea, so basically the rest of the summer (which isnt that much) consists of me working, evan coming up, me going to framingham and then to england and then once i get back its 9 days till college

holy shit!

and im going to ikea on friday..WOO!!

silver_perth — Sun, 02 Jul 2006 01:10:37 GMT

um, yea la was fun. the rest of this summer will consist of me and evan spending as much time as we can with each other. and then me going to england. sweet deal.

so i found this while lj stalking some people earlier. i thought it was interesting.

You fit in with:
Spiritualism

Your ideals are mostly spiritual, but in an individualistic way. While spirituality is very important in your life, organized religion itself may not be for you. It is best for you to seek these things on your own terms.

60% spiritual.
40% reason-oriented.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

yea, thats about right.

silver_perth — Sat, 10 Jun 2006 23:03:43 GMT

i havent taken my lexapro in 3 days because i ran out and havent had time to get more. this is not good. i can feel it draining out of my body and this is the worst possible time becuase of graduation and my entire family being here.

i am not comfortable

i am on the verge of tears and not because i'm sad, but because i'm having a panic attack.

fuckkkkkkkkkk

silver_perth — Sun, 04 Jun 2006 15:05:47 GMT

i feel like i have to update about senior convocation.

it was really surreal that it was happening to me. this whole week is just going to be weird. especially because im going home so much..

i cried. a lot.

and then last night i got sad again because it was the last time evan and i will get to hang out until after i get back from LA.

nadine's gone for the week.

i've started to pack, my room is a shithole, but stuff is coming down and being put in boxes for the last time here. i cant belive it.

i still cant wrap my mind around the fact that i wont be seeing all these people on a daily basis anymore. all i want is to curl up in evan's arms and have everyone i love from dana come live with me.

good plan.

i have to go home now, so i can go to college orientation.