Jason and I got back from Salem last night around midnight. Much more successful attempt at a vacation than this year's trip to the Outer Banks. There were a few down notes, but overall, a good time was had. ( The trip.Collapse )

Most of my pictures from the trip are up at my Instagram! Holy cats, we did a lot.


As for other goings-on:

-- I made it to Faire once this season. I had a better time than expected (since I've been in a weird headspace lately), and it was nice to not be scrambling from one show to the next. Mostly, I wandered. It was exactly what I needed, along with good times with fun friends (Jen & Laura).

-- I attended a Witches' Tea Party at damejenn's, which was EXQUISITELY decorated. The refreshments provided were well-chosen and delicious. The company was delightful. I made fun cupcakes. Again, pics at Instagram.

-- I've been working on getting a handle on my situational depression and anxiety. I only had one anxiety attack the whole time I was in Salem. Part of that was knowing that the kitties were in excellent hands. Abby is a godsend. But Nox is a bit thinner than I'm used to seeing him, and he's due for a vet appointment in a week, so I'm trying to manage the anxiety that comes from that. We had a great snuggle earlier today, and he's still eating, even if he's being a super fussbutt about it. Good thoughts appreciated.

-- The next two weeks are going to be mostly me completing the next FaerieMag order. It's smaller this month, probably because they ordered so much stock last month that they're still working through. This batch is mostly holiday stuff, and, for the most part, not as work-intensive. Which means I might be able to put out a small holiday retail collection this year, huzzah.

-- Transcendence is headlining the All Seasons Hafla on Sunday!

Wow, so... "new livejournal." It's pretty Tumblr-esque. I'll have to see if it grows on me.

Today, I am having a relaxing day. This weekend was about hunting for a new place to live (hence why I skipped the Transcendence performance at Fez Tones), and then some chilled out social time afterwards. Unfortunately, nothing promising yet on the living space front, though I am making some calls and tracking down private rentals to visit for next weekend. But social time was good! Saturday night, we played Cards Against Humanity with Brooke & Tim. Sunday was Thai food and another fun card game, Gloom, with Jenn & Todd. Gloom is, essentially, Edward Gorey meets Aubrey Beardsley: The Game. If you like the Lemony Snicket books, you'll probably like this, too. Anyhow, really fun! Will have to get a copy.

What things have I not talked about in my flurry of activity? Well, Spoutwood went well. I made enough $$$ to dig myself out of the financial hole that being too sick to work for two months caused. I may not have much left over, but that's infinitely preferable to being in the red. Performing with Transcendence was good, as usual, but I preferred last year's stage to this one. We were mainstage performers this year, which is exciting, but that meant we were sharing the stage with large bands and all of their equipment. Even when they did their best to clear room for us, I was still tripping over mics and trying not to run into drum kits. I never felt like I was entirely focusing on the performance aspect, and so next year I hope we can figure out a better workaround or go back to a less-cluttered stage.

The cats are doing well. Nox is putting some weight back on and overall being less fussy about food. The chemo regimen is greatly bettering his quality of life. We have been spending a lot of cuddle time together, he and I. He is a very happy cat who takes his pills and gets on with his life. I love him so much sometimes I think my heart will burst.

I am NOT looking forward to packing/moving. I have SO. MUCH. STUFF. in my studio that all I can think is "noooooooooooooooo."

My nephew is at that five month old stage where he looks like the Michelin Man. It is very likely my parents will try to attain custody after some preliminary legal hurdles are out of the way. The further away that child is from my sister, the more functional he will be.

My brother is being moved to Hawaii for three years by his job. I am intensely jealous. And sad, because I genuinely like hanging out with my brother. Genuinely liking hanging out with any member of my family is such an anomaly that I'm pretty bummed. But happy for him.

Fandom is good right now. If you're not watching Orphan Black, ye gods and little fishes, you ought to be. The Emmys need to be just a shower of awards for that show, and a crown for Tatiana Maslany. Anything less is a crime.

Jason is adjusting to his CGMS. It's working well as an early warning system, but he's having other health issues right now that are still complicating his efforts to keep his blood sugars consistent. Diabetes sucks not only because it sucks all by itself, but because it causes other, seemingly unrelated things not to work, too. Fuck diabetes, is what I'm saying.

I've been less consistent with the beauty blog, but back to posting this week. I bought myself a really pretty lipstick at Sephora that should be delivered tomorrow, and I can't WAIT to write about that. /magpie

So, there you have it. Nothing terribly interesting. But after the winter I had, uninteresting is okay by me.

I posted my Art of the Belly wrap up over on the beauty blog!

I am here to tell you that cultural appropriation exists. It is a real thing. It is not some term that those mean brown people made up so that they can "play the race card." There is an entire field of sociological study and race theory that deals with issues of appropriation. It is not fucking Santa Claus.

Likewise, "cultural appropriation" does not mean that you should not like Japanese food or listen to rap or enjoy Bollywood films or take salsa lessons, or any number of things that those minorities share with us in the US.

What it means is that we should think about how we enjoy things of cultures not our own, and how we present those things if we perform them.

It means that we should not feel entitled to cherry pick from another culture. It means that we should listen if someone from that culture criticizes how we are presenting those things from their culture.

And not everyone from that culture is going to say the same thing. I have heard Indian women criticize white women wearing bindis in any context. For them, it galls to see a white woman praised as ~worldly and ~cultural for playing dress-up with a bindi, while they themselves receive racist hate when they wear an article from their own culture. And I absolutely understand that.

I have also been given bindis by Indian women to wear in performance.

Here's the thing: neither perspective is more valid. Neither is invalid. Both are valid responses to their own lived experience within their culture. Minorities are not a monolith, and I don't believe it's fair or right to write off a perspective simply because it makes me uncomfortable, or forces me to examine an aspect of my behavior, or clarify if/why wearing a bindi is important to my performance. (For those not in the know, bindis are a pretty standard costume element in ATS, which is a fusion bellydance that fuses Middle Eastern, Turkish, and Indian folk dances with flamenco and modern improv.)

What this means is that with each voice, I add another layer of understanding. I refine my idea of when and where it is appropriate for me to wear a bindi. (For example, now I will wear one within the context of a strongly Indian-influenced fusion piece, which is pretty rare. I will not wear one if I am doing more generally fusion dance. I will never wear one for just fashion.) This is a sensitive issue, and not everybody is going to have the same data or conclusions. But I do think it's one that needs to be more closely examined by our community.

So, in short: you are not a terrible person for genuinely liking, learning, and performing bellydance. But you do have the added responsibility of constantly thinking about how you are presenting cultures that are not your own when you use elements of those cultures in your artistic performance, and adjust your presentation accordingly.

I know there are many professional dancers who do this regularly-- they are scholars of Middle Eastern & Turkish cultures. Who have lived and practiced their art in Egypt. Who have spent years or decades studying those cultures because they understand that you cannot decontextualize bellydance from the cultures from which it comes. For those people, I'm sure I'm preaching to the choir.

I am also tired of hearing that white women wearing articles of clothing from minority cultures (which may have religious meaning) is no different from Arab women wearing blue jeans. Cultural exchange is not evenly weighted on both ends. Institutional racism plays a HUGE role in what is appropriation and what isn't. Educate yourself and stop making these dishonest false equivalencies.

Look, I'm not perfect. There is no world in which I will ever BE perfect on this issue. But I do know that as a white woman who performs a dance that is fused from cultures not my own that appropriation is something I should always be grappling with, and if I'm not, then I'm doing it wrong. There are things I do that I know are problematic, and I'm still grappling with what parts of my dance are genuine love of culture and dance, and which may be appropriating parts of other cultures for the sake of my magpie nature. It's a thing. Pretending it's not is just... to be completely bereft of self-awareness.

Yeah, reading something like Randa Jarrar's article stung a bit, and yeah, that article was chockablock full of inaccuracies and fallacies of its own, both in regards to individual dancers and this history of bellydance. Here's what I know: we can critique that without ignoring the valid points because of her tone. We can not question if she's "brown enough" to talk about her culture because a Googled picture of her shows a woman with lighter skin. We can use more nuanced definitions of "racism" and "prejudice" that include elements of institutional power when we have these sticky discussions so that we don't make false equivalencies. We can not say hateful things, even if we perceive her as having done so.

I also know this: this week's discussions on the topic of appropriation exposed a LOT of ugliness within the bellydance community. It didn't damage the community. It exposed the damage that was already there. And it's damage we need to fix. As long as there are new dancers and new developments to the form, this is a discussion we need to keep returning to. We all need to keep learning and keep listening. Not pretend that cultural appropriation is a term that minorities use to make us feel guilty for liking things.

I've defriended at least five people on facebook today for acting like appropriation is the goddamn tooth fairy. I've BEEN defriended for clarifying terminology. I've cringed in shame at supposed teachers within our community. Can we please stop showing our asses now?

As a result of the discussion, a Decolonizing Bellydance group was founded for those of us who don't want to roll our eyes at the topic. Who want to look at bellydance and issues of Orientalism and appropriation and learn. There's also a Tumblr. I am really glad this is happening. I have a lot to learn.

I went to faire this weekend! I also drank all the wine. All of it.

See this? This is my drunk face:



So much wine, in fact, that when one of the Mediaeval Baebes remarked that she had seen me singing along in the crowd (or rather, mouthing the words under my breath-- competing with a performer is just rude), my response was "yes, I am a giant nerd." Awkward, thy name is Christina.

But it was a good day! Jason and I showed twelvepetals & her wife Jen around, saw the Barely Balanced acrobats (who were absolutely phenomenal), took in thatliardiego's magic show, caught some Cu Dubh bagpipes & drums, saw the Baebes twice, stood in some hellacious lines, and ate lots of things. My purchase of the day was a 2013 faire mug (which I immediately regretted because of course, 10 mins later I saw a GORGEOUS mug but could no longer justify the purchase) and a hip strap for it. And the new "The Huntress" Baebes double album, which features some of the most complex harmonies they've ever done. I am pretty impressed with it, and so far my favorite tracks are "She Moved Through The Fayre" and "Clasp Of A Lion / Phantom" with a special appreciation for the difficulty involved to sing "Dianae."

The last Baebes show also featured a little girl in the crowd who took the platitude to heart and truly danced like no one was watching. My god, my ovaries.

For the final Cu Dubh / Wolgemut show at the Boar's Head, the bands were encouraging dancers to dance, so lapinetrose & I threw down some ATS and people lost their minds. It's always cool to see faces when they realize that no, it's actually improv. And it's fun! Side note: I only saw one of the dancers Cu Dubh brought with them (Elizabeth) perform, and she was lovely. She also helped to confirm my suspicion that if you have an actual professional on the stage, the number of those attention-starved and under-clad ladies who watched a Shakira video and now think they're actual bellydancers decreases by an appreciable amount.

I did end up making the costuming work. The red and purple together was a little odd, but I think worked really well in person, and as a bonus, the velvet kept me sufficiently warm. I would still like to get a violet Ghawazee coat next year, though.

( Clickee for two more pictures.Collapse )

These pictures were taken by twelvepetals / Vasilion Photography.

Now, to get my tush back to work. I had completely forgotten that I'm filling in more days than usual at Terra Firma this week, so I have fewer days than projected to finish up the update!

Things here are good. The Autumn update went up, and now I'm focusing on marketing and expanding my base. I have the most amazing repeat customers, but in order to expand, I need to target new people as well. So I'm doing some FB advertising, with mixed results. If you're someone who has good tips on this sort of thing, I'd love to hear them. I wear so many hats re: my company, and marketing is still something I'm a bit mystified by.

Verve was supposed to perform at this month's Tribal Cafe, but Flissy broke her ankle two days ago, which is a bummer for all involved. I was really looking forward to some swordwork we've been planning, and I'm certain that being laid up for a bit is not her idea of super fun times, either. But! Considering the other two artists on the bill are soloists, Bella and Mavi were totally cool with me calling in reinforcements from Transcendence to do a 4-person set. So I will still be performing. What, I'm not exactly sure. Considering I will be on vacation for a week between now and September 28th, it's a damn good thing we specialize in improv. We're brainstorming ideas, which is good-- but they still don't have a venue locked down since Reef's abrupt closure, which is bad, because we have no idea about the layout we'll be walking into. Will it be a long, thin hallway like Mellow Mushroom or Asylum? A larger open spot, like Reef? Will there be room for props, or to safely bring in a sword? I don't know any of that. So. Improv. Yay for improv.

Or apparently not, because scheduling clusterfuckery that I should probably not publicly discuss. Grumble. But this means Verve will be back in the lineup when Flissy heals.

Side note: the 28th, I'm planning on being at Faire. Because Baebes.

Also, I turn 30 in 8 days omgwtf how did this happen in my brain I'm still roughly 22 omg.

I dyed my hair and added more purple. The result was a darker magenta. Which is fine, I guess. At some point, I'm going to have to use some bleach on it to lift the color a bit, but I haven't put bleach on my hair for over two years, and it's really in fantastic condition right now. It still needs a few washes until the color really settles into whatever it's going to be (Virgin Rose tends to shift from blue-based magenta to red-based fuchsia after about a week or so), and I'll assess then. My hair has also gotten ridiculously long. It's past bra length now. Next year, it'll be at my elbows, if I don't succumb to the whim to cut it first. It's also gotten a lot of natural wave back-- I'm sure that's because I finally got all the damaged bits cut out.

Autumn collections are coming out. I want approximately 30 things on Modcloth (the skull cardigan! I DIE) but I must abstain until after the October trip, where all my money lives. I keep telling myself that I'm going to have a good time and that saving is worth it. But really-- a skull cardigan. That might be worth pulling out the credit card.

Both of my care packages for the swap were sent out early, because I just can't afford to be last minute with all the stuff I have going on right now. That's a relief!

Frustratingly, this week I have to jump through a bunch of hoops to get a new ID before I travel. The Certificate of Birth that my mother was given at my birth (issued by the state, not the hospital), is no longer valid enough for me to use it to get a new state-issued ID. Apparently, after 9/11, some regulation changed, and now people in my generation in MD need a different birth certificate and we have to pay $30 for it. Because of course we do. Thanks, bureaucracy. (Also, a Certificate of Birth, Social Security Card, 2 proofs of address, and my marriage licence, in addition to my last photo ID from MD is not enough for them to issue me a new valid ID. I need the different Birth certificate that I have to pay for. Because of course I do.)

That's all I've got for the moment. Orders must be packed!

1. I am loooooving this fall preview weather. We've had a few stuffy days in the past two weeks, but for the most part, it's been a cooler-than-average 75. It's nice to have fresh air in August.

2. Girl Scouts Thin Mints coffee creamer. Best way to start a morning.

3. Mountain of orders to pack today from the sale. It paid my rent & student loan early, which means that I am freaking out a little less about affording the October trip.

4. I will be vending at the Kallisti Inappropriate Hafla this weekend. I will not be dancing. Taking a year off to just watch. But I will be dancing in DC soon with Verve, and as soon as I have the promo stuff, I'll post it.

5. Verve's been working on a super cool sword choreography.

6. The Autumn update is 3/4ths done. I have some wirework pieces to do-- some amber, some labradorite, some amethyst. But the bulk of it is done and Inappropriate Hafla people will get first crack at it.

7. I had my first Whoopie Pie. It did, in fact, make me go 'whoopee!' Delicious.

8. Care Package Swap questionnaires are due by midnight tonight.

9. Drunk History on Comedy Central may be the funniest thing I have seen recently. Ariel and I should be on that show. Me for the history, her for the funny. Also, possibly Larry.

10. Time to go take some resin out of their molds!

It's raining. Not even good, cleansing rain. Or a thunderstorm. It's humid, sticky rain.

My water is turned off for "routine maintenance" until noon. I have neither showered nor had coffee. My dryer finally got fixed yesterday (it was actually the ducts, not the dryer), and so I have a literal mountain of household things to wash that have piled up over two weeks. But I cannot wash them 'til noon. I am grumpier than GrumpyCat.

Still, dancing happened this past weekend. The Dance Your Heart Out Hafla was on the smallish side, but the stage was very nice. Flissy and I did Natacha Atlas's gorgeous cover of "It's A Man's World" followed by a turbo-fast Raquy drum solo. Then we had to run to our second show with Transcendence completely on the other side of Baltimore, at Stadium Playground. It was a very warm, receptive crowd. However: hardest to dance on surface I've ever been on. It's that recycled tire stuff that they use so kids don't hurt themselves when they fall down. Its whole purpose is to absorb shock. Guess what that does to shimmies? You feel like you're shimmying in quicksand. It was mildly hilarious when we circled up and a brief look of "oh shit" passed our faces. Also given the 97 degree heat and humidity, I felt a bit like a wilted flower after that set, but the audience really loved it.

Also, there's this.



We never did get a chance to get a picture of all of Transcendence on the swings, but at least J got one of me throwing up the horns and scream-swinging.

Also:

 

Today I work on earring wardrobes. I'm still waiting on supplies to pour my next batch of resin, and then I get into heavy wirework. So today it's a lot of straightforward, perfunctory stuff. And making more rose copper headpins.

But! Sale at Sihaya Designs. Through Sunday night, use coupon code RAINYDAY20 at checkout for 20% off your order.

I've been posting less because there simply isn't much to talk about. Things are good for the moment. Even keel. Well, some family drama, but thankfully, I am far, far removed from it. But honestly? Things are goin' fine.

Been doing a lot of hiking and long walks with J, enjoying the weather before it gets sticky and gross (Baltimore humidity rivals New Orleans's, forreals). Been hugging on my kitties. (For those following, Olive is on the mend and back to her usual bossy self following antibiotics.) Been visiting museums and plotting a fitness regimen for the summer (because I've decided that I've been unhappy with my more ample shape for too long; it's just not right for my frame). Been searching for good, fast-paced books to read, been looking for materials for updates, and been keeping my eyes peeled for new brick and mortar vendors. It's all been very chill.

Pulling a dancing double-header on Saturday. First up, Verve is performing at a charity hafla to benefit the American Humane Association. Dancers of many levels and styles will be taking the stage. Here is the info for that. From there, Flissy and I will be booking it to Baltimore to perform with our Transcendence troupies at WINE4WATER, a benefit for Stadium Playground in Baltimore, where several of our members volunteer. Here is the info for that.

On the shiny front, I made a totally frivolous purchase and bought a gorgeous mask that I'm going to plot an outfit for in time for Renfest. I'm going to make myself matching wing earrings with fuchsia holographic glitter. Because of course I am.

So, you know. All good. I have to pack orders today. Then dinner and a movie with J. The weather is warming up, and I maaaaay just take a walk, too.

I leave you with a sneak peek into how I make my wings: What Color Are Your Wings?

Spoutwood happened. I'm still in a state of post-event exhaustion, so I have a lack of eloquence. It was a massive undertaking, a lot of work, and I owe a debt of gratitude for everyone who helped: Jason for manning the booth and aiding in tear down. Meredith for getting me there in the first place. Sarah & Jenn D. for taking shifts while I was dancing. Amy for brainstorming a wonderful solution to display my wings. Jenn H. for painting me an emergency banner when it looked like my vinyl one was lost to the USPS. Flissy for caring after my furbabies. The list goes on.

Overall, I had very, very little time where I was not parked at my booth or dancing on stage. Something like roughly two hours total, and I spent most of that stuffing my face and hurrying from errand to errand. I did pick up one souvenir for myself, a new Dancing Pig Pottery mug, and I saw 1/2 of Cu Dubh's final set. But it was definitely a solid three days of work, so I didn't get to spectate or revel as much as I would have liked. On the other hand, I learned a lot just by jumping in and adapting, and if I decide to apply next year, I have an idea what to do differently so I can have more space for myself. I want to have time just to let the magic soak in.

Transcendence danced three hour-long sets. Day one was colorsplosion day, and my favorite parts were Eugenia reprising her fan veil flamenco piece (sooooo beautiful!), Anne's tray dance, and the energy of our first crowd (because the first performance is always the toughest while you wake up your brain and work out the kinks, like OH HEY I FORGOT THAT PART OF THE CHOREO). Sunday we did our Bal Anat-inspired costumes, and the finale piece was far and away my favorite. We danced to SJ Tucker's "Firebird's Child," with me starting solo, and then swapping out for groups of the other dancers before gathering all of us up in a big spinning frenzy and extending out to the crowd. Sunday also made me quite happy that we all have roots in improv-- one of our dancers had a severe allergic reaction Saturday night and was unable to come on Sunday, so there were a few brief moments of "oh! She was supposed to be dancing right now!," but someone stepped in on the spot and it all worked out.

I also really enjoyed collaborating with Meredith on her vision of a duet to the Medieval Baebes' "Scarborough Faire." Though I admit the song is not my favorite, I have long wanted an opportunity to work with Meredith on a dance piece, and I hope this was not a one-off, and that we can create something else together in the near future.

Business wise: I didn't quite know what to expect, so I don't know how to gauge what I made. I suppose I had hoped to sell a bit more, but from what I gather, my sales patterns were exactly on par with other similar vendors', including the well known vendors. Friday was slow, which was expected. Saturday began slow, but picked up steam by later afternoon. Sunday was gangbusters. If I had made Saturday what I made on Sunday, I would be thrilled. I'd estimate I sold about half of the huge batch of wings I made for the show, and several pieces of labradorite that I made for that purpose, as well. I sold my top dollar item, the Rani collarpiece, on Sunday, and I am thrilled about that!

One thing I did NOT expect was to battle allergies. I've never had allergies before! I suppose with 30 looming, hormones are bound to change. Friday and Saturday were absolutely miserable. I wept uncontrollably all day long, and trying to keep eye makeup on was a total lost cause. By Sunday, enough Claritin had made it into my system that I felt like a person, and not a human water fountain. At least the weather was beautiful.

So, now I'm home. I've had a full night's sleep. I've cuddled the furmonsters. I've replenished my empty refrigerator. I have to clean the place and vacuum, but not today. Today is for being lazy. Thursday, I begin the process of photographing unsold inventory created for the show, which basically means lots and lots and lots of wings. But for now: nap, dinner, tv catch up.