Do-over?
I had some of the worst nightmares I've had in a long time last night. One involved me having an adoptive sister my age who was in her last few days of dying of cancer, then I found out that I had some sort of poison in my bloodstream that would kill me in 48 hours if not treated. I tried to tell my parents, but they accused me of being hysterical because I couldn't cope with my sister dying. I remember panicking in the dream, yelling "it's in my blood!" and begging them to put me on an IV. So strange-- though I am not consciously afraid of death, in the dream I kept thinking up all of the things I've committed to that I wouldn't follow through on if I died soon. They finally admitted me to the hospital, and I could feel the fluid of the IV pushing its way through my veins. I think in that dream, I fell asleep (or possibly died), which gave way to the next dream.
The next dream was very much a strange amalgam of Myst and Silent Hill with a healthy dash of What Dreams May Come-- there were times where I definitely felt I was journeying through the underworld. Even though it was intensely disturbing, it was one of the most visually beautiful dreams I've had, with me paddling a gondola through narrow canals and past vast green courtyards with patina-green fountains. I definitely got the sense even early on in the dream that as I progressed through the world, that beauty would be spoiled... kind of the feeling you get when you just know Pyramidhead is lurking around some corner. One "stage" of the dream involved a horse chase from the Wicked Witch of the West with the characters from The Wizard of Oz. Another involved a beautiful art gallery with bronze statues. As I got closer, the statues were twisted and macabre, and I realized that they'd cast bodies inside. One statue looked disturbingly like the Baltimore Holocaust Memorial, with twisted limbs and flames. I got close and read the placard-- it was the gravemarker of a girl, born 1827, died 1845. It described her silky white-blond hair, and how she was known for her beauty. But it was suspected that she was a witch or a prostitute, and her family threw her out. She got a job at a rubber factory, and one day, as she was having a smoke break, there was an accident. Her feet caught fire, and it immolated her whole. Everyone in the village could hear her screaming but no one would get close enough to the "witch" to help. They entombed her remains in bronze. It was disturbing how detailed it was-- as I stood close to the statue, I could feel the girl's fear, like she was watching from the inside. I remember thinking, "dear god, don't let me become one of these statues."
Also, I had a dream-within-a-dream wherein I woke up at exactly 7:52am. When I woke up for real? 7:52. I asked Dixie, and she also had terrible nightmares last night (one also involving cancer). We're going to smudge the house tonight-- there's just been strange energy in it lately. Then I heard an "ohh fuck!" from the kitchen-- Dixie's kombucha jar had burst in the fridge. The second jar to have burst on its own in our kitchen in as many weeks. One was refrigerated, one was not, and they were different types of jars. And we had a crow fly right in front of the car this morning-- considering that's particularly portentous in my family, I am now resolved to be more on-guard in the coming weeks. It reminded me to send an updated list of my most commonly used passwords to Ariel and Anna, in any case.
The next dream was very much a strange amalgam of Myst and Silent Hill with a healthy dash of What Dreams May Come-- there were times where I definitely felt I was journeying through the underworld. Even though it was intensely disturbing, it was one of the most visually beautiful dreams I've had, with me paddling a gondola through narrow canals and past vast green courtyards with patina-green fountains. I definitely got the sense even early on in the dream that as I progressed through the world, that beauty would be spoiled... kind of the feeling you get when you just know Pyramidhead is lurking around some corner. One "stage" of the dream involved a horse chase from the Wicked Witch of the West with the characters from The Wizard of Oz. Another involved a beautiful art gallery with bronze statues. As I got closer, the statues were twisted and macabre, and I realized that they'd cast bodies inside. One statue looked disturbingly like the Baltimore Holocaust Memorial, with twisted limbs and flames. I got close and read the placard-- it was the gravemarker of a girl, born 1827, died 1845. It described her silky white-blond hair, and how she was known for her beauty. But it was suspected that she was a witch or a prostitute, and her family threw her out. She got a job at a rubber factory, and one day, as she was having a smoke break, there was an accident. Her feet caught fire, and it immolated her whole. Everyone in the village could hear her screaming but no one would get close enough to the "witch" to help. They entombed her remains in bronze. It was disturbing how detailed it was-- as I stood close to the statue, I could feel the girl's fear, like she was watching from the inside. I remember thinking, "dear god, don't let me become one of these statues."
Also, I had a dream-within-a-dream wherein I woke up at exactly 7:52am. When I woke up for real? 7:52. I asked Dixie, and she also had terrible nightmares last night (one also involving cancer). We're going to smudge the house tonight-- there's just been strange energy in it lately. Then I heard an "ohh fuck!" from the kitchen-- Dixie's kombucha jar had burst in the fridge. The second jar to have burst on its own in our kitchen in as many weeks. One was refrigerated, one was not, and they were different types of jars. And we had a crow fly right in front of the car this morning-- considering that's particularly portentous in my family, I am now resolved to be more on-guard in the coming weeks. It reminded me to send an updated list of my most commonly used passwords to Ariel and Anna, in any case.