Oh. Insomnia. Now, of all times. Great.
Highlights of my past 24 hours inlude:
-- Very nearly calling 911 after I stopped breathing for a good 10 seconds. Looking back, what caused the breathing to stop is the grossest thing I have ever personally experienced, and speaking as someone with the crappiest immune system ever, that's really saying something. I described said grossest thing ever to Ariel and Don, only to have them both exclaim "OMG EW."
-- Begging the doctor not to put me on an IV. Seriously, I have been on an IV twice before and I spent the entire stay in the hospital BEGGING for the doctor to pull it out of me. That is, when I didn't pass out headfirst and require cleanup on aisle 9. Seriously, the feeling of an IV is the most wiggins-ifying sensation I have ever felt. I have panic attacks when I'm on them. I explained that if she wanted to put me on an IV, she'd have to sedate me first. She declined.
-- That said? You know that episode of Angel where Fred swallows that weird slug thing and is all "OMG WATER"? That's me right now. I am drinking as much water as I can handle. And the metallic taste has yet to go away.
-- I am currently (very nearly) deaf in my right ear. If Sara was irritated that I couldn't hear the fax machine before, she's gonna be really ticked off now. This should be temporary.
-- I have the flu, pneumonia, AND something related to my kidney issues. The doctor was stunned when I told her that I'm largely asymptomatic until it reaches a critical level. Behind her plague-retardant mask, I really do think she gave me the "WTF, lady" face.
-- I was running a temperature of "oh jesus christ" (per Ariel's hand). Translated, that's 102.5.
-- I was laying back on the couch with my laptop on my belly. I coughed so hard that I smacked my forehead on my monitor and the screen resolution went all wonky. I'm a supastar.
-- The pharmacist at the Rite Aid was all, "I'm gonna spray disinfectant. Don't get offended." And if I had enough air in my lungs to finish sentences (which, by they way, I still don't) I would have said, "Look *cough* lady, *hack* I don't ca-*cough*-re what you *hack*-ing do, I *wheeze*-ing have pneumonia!" And then I would have passed out. So I'm glad I didn't. But she still could have been a little nicer to someone who looked like I did, right?
-- So, aside from the pills of jawdropping $$$-ness, I was supposed to pick up prescription cough syrup, too. Ariel and Dixie were like "why didn't they prescribe you something stronger?" Well, turns out, they did, but I was so completely out of it and overtaxed by the simple act of breathing that I didn't notice. Well, the OTC Tussin (basically, the non-prescription-strength version) is doing okay, but if this changes, I will go back to the pharmacy and fork over my left arm. They'll have a matching set.
-- Ack, hiccups + pneumonia = a very special kind of torture. I'm like a Duncan Shiek song over here. Curse my 90's dorkitude.
Let me say though, I am OVERJOYED that Dixie's boyfriend is back home. This means that my chances of dying tomorrow have already decreased eleventy-thousand percent, 'cause if I stop breathing, someone will notice.
Also, my mom called. She's freaking out. Which is understandable, as it turns out that dad's heart attack today was lung-related. He wasn't getting enough oxygen in his bloodstream due to a lung condition they didn't know he had before today. So that her husband and her child both had serious lung issues today is totally freakout-worthy. On the plus side, it looks like he's going to be okay. He needs to see some pulmonary specialists, but once they fix his lung he should be fine.
Okay. I'd really like to sleep now. Aaaaaanytime now, body.
PS-- ARIEL IS MY HERO.
-- Very nearly calling 911 after I stopped breathing for a good 10 seconds. Looking back, what caused the breathing to stop is the grossest thing I have ever personally experienced, and speaking as someone with the crappiest immune system ever, that's really saying something. I described said grossest thing ever to Ariel and Don, only to have them both exclaim "OMG EW."
-- Begging the doctor not to put me on an IV. Seriously, I have been on an IV twice before and I spent the entire stay in the hospital BEGGING for the doctor to pull it out of me. That is, when I didn't pass out headfirst and require cleanup on aisle 9. Seriously, the feeling of an IV is the most wiggins-ifying sensation I have ever felt. I have panic attacks when I'm on them. I explained that if she wanted to put me on an IV, she'd have to sedate me first. She declined.
-- That said? You know that episode of Angel where Fred swallows that weird slug thing and is all "OMG WATER"? That's me right now. I am drinking as much water as I can handle. And the metallic taste has yet to go away.
-- I am currently (very nearly) deaf in my right ear. If Sara was irritated that I couldn't hear the fax machine before, she's gonna be really ticked off now. This should be temporary.
-- I have the flu, pneumonia, AND something related to my kidney issues. The doctor was stunned when I told her that I'm largely asymptomatic until it reaches a critical level. Behind her plague-retardant mask, I really do think she gave me the "WTF, lady" face.
-- I was running a temperature of "oh jesus christ" (per Ariel's hand). Translated, that's 102.5.
-- I was laying back on the couch with my laptop on my belly. I coughed so hard that I smacked my forehead on my monitor and the screen resolution went all wonky. I'm a supastar.
-- The pharmacist at the Rite Aid was all, "I'm gonna spray disinfectant. Don't get offended." And if I had enough air in my lungs to finish sentences (which, by they way, I still don't) I would have said, "Look *cough* lady, *hack* I don't ca-*cough*-re what you *hack*-ing do, I *wheeze*-ing have pneumonia!" And then I would have passed out. So I'm glad I didn't. But she still could have been a little nicer to someone who looked like I did, right?
-- So, aside from the pills of jawdropping $$$-ness, I was supposed to pick up prescription cough syrup, too. Ariel and Dixie were like "why didn't they prescribe you something stronger?" Well, turns out, they did, but I was so completely out of it and overtaxed by the simple act of breathing that I didn't notice. Well, the OTC Tussin (basically, the non-prescription-strength version) is doing okay, but if this changes, I will go back to the pharmacy and fork over my left arm. They'll have a matching set.
-- Ack, hiccups + pneumonia = a very special kind of torture. I'm like a Duncan Shiek song over here. Curse my 90's dorkitude.
Let me say though, I am OVERJOYED that Dixie's boyfriend is back home. This means that my chances of dying tomorrow have already decreased eleventy-thousand percent, 'cause if I stop breathing, someone will notice.
Also, my mom called. She's freaking out. Which is understandable, as it turns out that dad's heart attack today was lung-related. He wasn't getting enough oxygen in his bloodstream due to a lung condition they didn't know he had before today. So that her husband and her child both had serious lung issues today is totally freakout-worthy. On the plus side, it looks like he's going to be okay. He needs to see some pulmonary specialists, but once they fix his lung he should be fine.
Okay. I'd really like to sleep now. Aaaaaanytime now, body.
PS-- ARIEL IS MY HERO.