I have preemptively called out of work. I feel really awful about that. But there is no way I am moving from this sofa without assistance: I can really only move between the bathroom and the sofa without falling over. Staying awake for more than 15 minutes is really hard. My lungs and abs are very sore. I've got terrible body aches. I look like a bag lady. I'm doing my best to keep hydrated, and Dixie got me soup. Aside from that, I'm kind of praying for a quick and merciful death.