The light in me will guide you home.

Thoughts for the dark of the year:
Live with the understanding that the choices you make matter.
We are at the time when the turn of the seasons is about to reach the longest night of the year. It's a good time to think about the paths we take in dark place, and how we guide ourselves.
Live not as if you might die tomorrow (though it's good to live a fearless life, now and again), but as if you will live a hundred more, building on the actions you choose now.
Live with the understanding of the power of that, and the beautiful responsibility that goes with it.

It matters.

-- tamnonlinear. You can read the rest of her brilliant and moving post here.

That has been the lesson that I have learned this year. All year, I made choices that were to help me build the life I wanted to live. The foundation of a future. And things didn't exactly turn out the way I planned, but I walked away without regret because I am proud of every step that I took. I am proud of what each of those steps says about me. And in the end, things didn't turn out so badly after all. In fact, on this, the darkest night of the year, I feel content, happy. Loved. Fulfilled. Blessed. A weight has been lifted. I feel almost as though I have passed a test. Of what, I'm not sure, but the feeling remains. I feel light.

I'm spending the next week with people I love, and who love me in return, just as I am. I can think of no greater gift than that. I am grateful to my friends for buoying me, I am grateful to my teachers for sharing their wisdom, I am grateful to my Gods for their guidance, and I am grateful to myself, for standing firm and advocating for my own heart.

Merry Yule and a Blessed Solstice, everybody.


December 22, 2007; 1:08am, EST: The sun is reborn.