Do you know what a merkin is? It's a vagina wig.
For all my nervous trepidation, last night turned out pretty okay. Skyler and I hung out, and I attempted to not be a complete disaster in the kitchen, with varying results. I broiled some steak, both well done to save on time, even though anyone who has ever met me knows that my anemic blood likes the cow practically still mooing on the plate. I faked mashed potatoes with a mix (yes, Jon, I can hear your gasps of pure horror from here), but the asparagus draped in mozzarella and lemon pepper was my favorite. I made strawberry empanadas for dessert-- if I have a culinary specialty, I think this would be it, but that's because it's easy. Fresh strawberries folded into a brown sugar and cream cheese sauce, all stuffed inside doughy goodness.
All in all, it was a good time, with awkward tension held to a bare minimum. We joked and teased each other, and agreed to work on building a friendship. There was a bit of Serious Talk about expectations for each other that basically amounted to "look, we've both been defensive jerks in the past, so let's not do that. We'll agree to not do anything to intentionally harm the other person, and if we do something that is unintentionally harmful, we'll address it as is necessary." I mean, in three-page letter form, because I tend to be kind of verbose. But the points got across and were agreed upon, so that gives me hope. The plan is to hang out around one night a week-- maybe do Lost on Wednesdays if he can manage to keep that free. We'll see where this goes. We made a committment to be good to one another, and I intend to see it through.
And now for my quick reactions to the first two episodes of The L Word season 4.
-- Dear writers, you were doing so well with Jenny last season. Remember when she was only sort of nuts? Remember how she actually got semi-balanced towards the end of last season, until you had her do the weird "later Max, I'm sleeping with Claude" thing? Yeah. That Jenny was great. Now you've turned her into the evil bitch queen of the universe. What gives? Mia, I don't hold this against you. You're fun to watch and a great actress, and you can't help that the writers are confounded about what to do with your character.
-- PS? The speech about not wanting Max now that he's identifying as a male? Fuck you, Jenny! You're the one who said you wanted to be a part of his transformation. You're the one who gave him his first shots of T. Jesus christ, woman. Just... fuck you, you little bitch.
-- That said, the way Jenny said, "vagina wig"? So. Funny.
-- Though it strikes me that Pretentious Jenny should have said "vulva wig" just for the sake of correctness.
-- I like Papi. I like that she totally went for Helena seconds after schtupping Alice. I thought the limo sex was a little over the top, but hey-- comedic relief.
-- Die, Cherie Jaffe, you horrendous cuntrag. Just... die.
-- Chane. Erm, Shane. No, baby. Just... no. I love you and all that, but you don't get to dump the most gorgeous woman in the world at the altar, end up in Cherie Jaffe-land snorting blow, and nearly kill yourself in a drunk driving accident and have the world be completely okay because of your non-dealing. And I know this is going to become the "kid saves the irresponsible player's life" scenario before social services or his mother reclaims him at the end of the season, but at least it'll be an interesting character development for her.
-- Rachel Shelley still remains one of the most beautiful women alive.
-- Phyllis annoys the shit out of me.
-- Marina, you are still one hot piece of ass. I'd hit it. Claude, on the other hand? She makes my dick soft. Ew.
-- Daniela Sea! You, like, took an acting course! Good for you! (Also, if you dropped your voice half an octave, I might be tempted to hit it. But you kind of sound like Minnie Mouse, so it's a turn-off.)
-- Max is a lot more tolerable this season. And LOL at Chaiken throwing the trans-support group scene in as a way of saying "alright, alright, street T is so not okay and I promise to fix it!" That said? Never dip your nib in the company ink. Never. Especially not with the boss's daughter, who, even though she's remarkably cute, is capital S straight, and who could get you fired when you inevitably have to say, "oh hey, by the way, I have girlparts."
-- I like Tina when she's not being a push-over. She's still clearly getting hated on by the writers, but at least she looks hotter this season. Just quit with the "HI I AM HETERO NOW, Y R U SCURRED?" schtick. (Laurel, I love you. Chin up, babycakes.)
-- Bette. Like I told Max, workplace nookie is bad nookie. Just say no to the cute young presumptuous TA and the aging mid-life crisis boss. Just say no.
-- You know life is weird when Alice is the voice of sanity and wisdom. Just sayin'.
-- I love Joyce Wichnia's brilliant ass. That actress clearly has so much fun with the part.
-- Mangus the Manny! Where to sign up to get a Mangus? I want to date a Mangus.
-- Okay, I get that Pam Grier is like, a cultural icon. That said? You can see her acting choices a mile away. They're predictable. Boring. That scene in the faux-clinic? It could have been so much better. Instead, I cringed. I cringed a lot. Dear Pam, stop playing yourself, and start playing Kit.
-- Yay, Carmen next week! I have such a weakness for Latina women.
...and there you have it. Tonight, I am pretty much free in the evening. I have lots of pictures taken by Yancy, Kevin, and Jon to post from this weekend's party, and I'm going to try to catch up on Supernatural, 'cause Dean is the hot. If anyone wants to talk, try to hit me up between 7 and 10.
Later!
All in all, it was a good time, with awkward tension held to a bare minimum. We joked and teased each other, and agreed to work on building a friendship. There was a bit of Serious Talk about expectations for each other that basically amounted to "look, we've both been defensive jerks in the past, so let's not do that. We'll agree to not do anything to intentionally harm the other person, and if we do something that is unintentionally harmful, we'll address it as is necessary." I mean, in three-page letter form, because I tend to be kind of verbose. But the points got across and were agreed upon, so that gives me hope. The plan is to hang out around one night a week-- maybe do Lost on Wednesdays if he can manage to keep that free. We'll see where this goes. We made a committment to be good to one another, and I intend to see it through.
And now for my quick reactions to the first two episodes of The L Word season 4.
-- Dear writers, you were doing so well with Jenny last season. Remember when she was only sort of nuts? Remember how she actually got semi-balanced towards the end of last season, until you had her do the weird "later Max, I'm sleeping with Claude" thing? Yeah. That Jenny was great. Now you've turned her into the evil bitch queen of the universe. What gives? Mia, I don't hold this against you. You're fun to watch and a great actress, and you can't help that the writers are confounded about what to do with your character.
-- PS? The speech about not wanting Max now that he's identifying as a male? Fuck you, Jenny! You're the one who said you wanted to be a part of his transformation. You're the one who gave him his first shots of T. Jesus christ, woman. Just... fuck you, you little bitch.
-- That said, the way Jenny said, "vagina wig"? So. Funny.
-- Though it strikes me that Pretentious Jenny should have said "vulva wig" just for the sake of correctness.
-- I like Papi. I like that she totally went for Helena seconds after schtupping Alice. I thought the limo sex was a little over the top, but hey-- comedic relief.
-- Die, Cherie Jaffe, you horrendous cuntrag. Just... die.
-- Chane. Erm, Shane. No, baby. Just... no. I love you and all that, but you don't get to dump the most gorgeous woman in the world at the altar, end up in Cherie Jaffe-land snorting blow, and nearly kill yourself in a drunk driving accident and have the world be completely okay because of your non-dealing. And I know this is going to become the "kid saves the irresponsible player's life" scenario before social services or his mother reclaims him at the end of the season, but at least it'll be an interesting character development for her.
-- Rachel Shelley still remains one of the most beautiful women alive.
-- Phyllis annoys the shit out of me.
-- Marina, you are still one hot piece of ass. I'd hit it. Claude, on the other hand? She makes my dick soft. Ew.
-- Daniela Sea! You, like, took an acting course! Good for you! (Also, if you dropped your voice half an octave, I might be tempted to hit it. But you kind of sound like Minnie Mouse, so it's a turn-off.)
-- Max is a lot more tolerable this season. And LOL at Chaiken throwing the trans-support group scene in as a way of saying "alright, alright, street T is so not okay and I promise to fix it!" That said? Never dip your nib in the company ink. Never. Especially not with the boss's daughter, who, even though she's remarkably cute, is capital S straight, and who could get you fired when you inevitably have to say, "oh hey, by the way, I have girlparts."
-- I like Tina when she's not being a push-over. She's still clearly getting hated on by the writers, but at least she looks hotter this season. Just quit with the "HI I AM HETERO NOW, Y R U SCURRED?" schtick. (Laurel, I love you. Chin up, babycakes.)
-- Bette. Like I told Max, workplace nookie is bad nookie. Just say no to the cute young presumptuous TA and the aging mid-life crisis boss. Just say no.
-- You know life is weird when Alice is the voice of sanity and wisdom. Just sayin'.
-- I love Joyce Wichnia's brilliant ass. That actress clearly has so much fun with the part.
-- Mangus the Manny! Where to sign up to get a Mangus? I want to date a Mangus.
-- Okay, I get that Pam Grier is like, a cultural icon. That said? You can see her acting choices a mile away. They're predictable. Boring. That scene in the faux-clinic? It could have been so much better. Instead, I cringed. I cringed a lot. Dear Pam, stop playing yourself, and start playing Kit.
-- Yay, Carmen next week! I have such a weakness for Latina women.
...and there you have it. Tonight, I am pretty much free in the evening. I have lots of pictures taken by Yancy, Kevin, and Jon to post from this weekend's party, and I'm going to try to catch up on Supernatural, 'cause Dean is the hot. If anyone wants to talk, try to hit me up between 7 and 10.
Later!