Encouragement.
A lot of you are having a rough time right now. Being so far away, there is little I can do, but I can do this. When things get hard, and they are, I tell myself a few things over and over again. I whisper them as I fall asleep. And it's enough to get me to take that next breath. So, for you:
Sometimes you gotta just tell yourself over and over again to keep that chin up. That this too shall pass. All of those hokey things that keep us just alive enough to make it to the next day. But you know, it's not really true that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. What doesn't kill you can still be deeply damaging. All of our pride, our harsh words, our emotional withholdings, our suppressed issues, our fears-- they can cut deeper than glass. Once the hurt fades, the best you can do is to wash your face, look into the mirror and see that even with red-rimmed eyes, you're stronger than this, and that you will not give up. There is too much good in this world to give up. Protect yourself. There are those who will inevitably take your vulnerability for weakness-- know your limits. But be honest. Speak with words of love. They might fall upon deaf ears, but at least you'll know that you said them instead of nasty, hurtful things. And trust me, this is usually the hardest part. But it's worth it. It is so very worth it. As my dear Abby likes to say, morality is who you are in the dark. You will know what you're made of when you've got next to nothing left. I would rather look in the mirror and see someone who spoke words of love, not ones of derision. And if you have to walk away, walk away with your shoulders straight, knowing that you did your best.
If any of you need anything, you can call me. My contact info is in the sidebar of my journal, for those on my friendslist. Or you can write, or email. Just know that you are not alone.
* This is actually a small part of one of my favorite Buffy quotes ever. I can't excerpt it without posting it in its entirety, so here it is:
Angel: Buffy, please. Just this once... let me be strong.
Buffy: Strong is fighting! It's hard, and it's painful, and it's every day.
--Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Amends"*
"When you're going through hell, keep going."
Sometimes you gotta just tell yourself over and over again to keep that chin up. That this too shall pass. All of those hokey things that keep us just alive enough to make it to the next day. But you know, it's not really true that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. What doesn't kill you can still be deeply damaging. All of our pride, our harsh words, our emotional withholdings, our suppressed issues, our fears-- they can cut deeper than glass. Once the hurt fades, the best you can do is to wash your face, look into the mirror and see that even with red-rimmed eyes, you're stronger than this, and that you will not give up. There is too much good in this world to give up. Protect yourself. There are those who will inevitably take your vulnerability for weakness-- know your limits. But be honest. Speak with words of love. They might fall upon deaf ears, but at least you'll know that you said them instead of nasty, hurtful things. And trust me, this is usually the hardest part. But it's worth it. It is so very worth it. As my dear Abby likes to say, morality is who you are in the dark. You will know what you're made of when you've got next to nothing left. I would rather look in the mirror and see someone who spoke words of love, not ones of derision. And if you have to walk away, walk away with your shoulders straight, knowing that you did your best.
If any of you need anything, you can call me. My contact info is in the sidebar of my journal, for those on my friendslist. Or you can write, or email. Just know that you are not alone.
* This is actually a small part of one of my favorite Buffy quotes ever. I can't excerpt it without posting it in its entirety, so here it is:
Angel: Am I a thing worth saving, huh? Am I a righteous man? The world wants me gone!
Buffy: What about me? I love you so much... And I tried to make you go away. I killed you and it didn't help. And I hate it! I hate that it's so hard, and that you can hurt me so much. I know everything that you did, because you did it to me. Oh, God! I wish that I wished you dead. I don't. I can't.
Angel: Buffy, please. Just this once... let me be strong.
Buffy: Strong is fighting! It's hard, and it's painful, and it's every day. It's what we have to do. And we can do it together. But if you're too much of a coward for that, then burn. If I can't convince you that you belong in this world, then I don't know what can. But do not expect me to watch. And don't expect me to mourn for you, because... [Snow begins to fall. The sun never rises.]