What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

Q: What's brown and looks good on a lawyer?
A: A doberman.

Q: What do you call 1,000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a mosquito?
A: One's a blood-sucking fiend, and the other's just an insect.

During the Custody Battle of Horrific Proportions, my mother had a lawyer named Richard Lynass. I never thought I'd see anything that topped that.

And yet.

I just found a memo from one of my boss's lawyers, from the venerable law firm of...

Petit & Weiner.