Virgo:: Bird-watchers in North Dakota are reporting a host of unusual sightings. A mountain plover has been spotted for the first time since the 1930s. The cormorant-like anhinga, which is native to swamps in southern climates, has also made an appearance. So has the Eurasian wigeon, a noisy duck that is rarely found outside of Europe and Asia. In addition, there have been visits by five other species that are unknown in the area. What's going on? Another byproduct of global warming and the weird effects it's generating? Maybe. Whatever it is, Virgo, a metaphorically similar experience will soon occur in your sphere. You'll be mingling with life forms and natural phenomena that you've never come in contact with up until now.

I was supposed to go birdwatching this weekend. Last minute changes rendered me unable to go. Blargh to that, I say.

I'm going to focus on the positive today. I'm trying to clear the cobwebs, shake the haze. I know that the vast majority of my posts as of late have been highly filtered or private-- there's a lot of headspace going on right now. Sorting things out. Figuring out where to go from here. Figuring out what is best for me, which is different from what is most comfortable for me, or what is best for someone else. I'm working on affirming that who I am is okay, and the whomever truly loves me is going to have to accept that. I think I got so used to bending myself to adapt to people and situations that I forgot about what's at my own core. It's cost me a great deal of happiness.

I need to stay in touch with my spirituality. It's not that I've lost touch completely, it's that when I go into stress-mode, it's hard for me to focus and concentrate on a level wherein my studies are effective. As a start, I took the plunge on some Twilight Alchemy Lab oils-- I bought four bottles and two decants to start, with a second order in the works. Among the four I have on order are these:

Lionheart:: Grants you immense amounts of courage and drive. Useful to help you recover from intense depression and ennui. Brings on a positive outlook, renews hope, and replenishes positive energy. Fills your spirit with the courage and nobility of a lion, warmed by the life-giving joy of its solar aspects.

Block Buster:: Used to open up options in your life, overcome obstacles, and create opportunities. This blend increases your potential for success, inspires creativity and quick thinking, and helps you to be more flexible, adaptable and open to change.

More than anything, I need to be able to open my eyes again, to not cling so tightly to that which is comfortable, and to see that I have many paths among which to choose. I'm going to write a ritual in which to employ the oils, and use them in an altar-setting ceremony. As for the next order, I'm thinking:

Road Opener:: Brings you new opportunities, shows you alternative paths and breaks down barriers.

Brass Balls:: Wear to increase courage, especially with regard to social situations. Calms the nerves, instills confidence, and brings your natural charisma to the surface.

I know from the descriptions that these two sets seem fairly interchangeable, but there are subtle differences, from what I understand. I see these two as two parts of the same process-- set #1 for general well being and unblocking, or healing. Set #2 for determining a path and sticking to it. I don't know where this is going to lead, but I know that it has to be better than how I've been feeling. I am willing to accept many possibilities and understand that at this point, I do not have to tie myself to any particular future. The fact that things will change is out of my hands, but there are always choices to be made, and in those choices, there is almost certainly self-determination.

As for other positives-- Agnes / aggiebell and I hit it off quite nicely, and considering she's stolen roughly half of my bookshelf, I think it's safe to say that we'll be meeting up again for more flowering tea.

I also drove to the bus stop today, which, aside from me being so nervous that I almost forgot to put the damn car in drive and almost missed a stop sign (luckily, there was no one coming), went pretty okay. I have a tendency to drive to the left-- I need to remember that I should steer just a teensy bit more to the right than my inclination tells me to.

All of my books from Amazon came in, and my to-read pile is about an impressive two-feet tall at this point. I've been re-reading my favorite novel, as I have a tendency to do once a year, especially when my stress levels are running high. I never formally reviewed it, and I may this time. If you guys get too inundated with the influx of Elizabeth Hand reviews-- well, you can just scroll on by.

Back to work.