Mock Mock Mockity Mock
This link stolen from 
thebitingfaery. See her post here.
www.demonbuster.com
Demons are in everything, including:
-Paisley Prints. Well, asbailunrui pointed out, we kinda knew that already.
-Pierced Ears. ("According to Bible History, the only people who had pierced ears/nose were sorcerers, prostitutes, and slaves. Because of this origin, you should not pierce your skin.") Well, Britney Spears fits two of the above criteria- must be because she's pierced! AHA!
-The Terminator. ("In October 2000, a friend fell and broke some bones in her foot. She also had a place where the skin was broken and this area got infected. As she was seeking the Lord, a friend of hers called and said that she had been attached by a spirit (demon) called THE TERMINATOR. They went on to say that this demon could not kill you, but it could beat you up, cause you pain, cause you to pass out, etc.") Ahhehehehehe. California may well agree.
-Prescription Drugs. ("RX is a symbol used on prescriptions written by doctors. It is generally accepted as representing the Latin word "recipe", which means to take. RX is traceable to the sign of Jupiter, which was placed on ancient prescriptions to appeal to that god for favorable action of the compound.We are not telling you to stop taking prescriptions. However, if you are having difficulty receiving DELIVERANCE from sickness, you may need to call out the name of the prescription.") Penicillin! I cast you out in the name of JAYZUS!!
-Horoscopes. ("Lord Jesus we at the Breakfast Club confess that Horoscopes is a abomination in Your eyes and confess this to be a sin according your Word.") And yet, we were not saved from Ally Sheedy's awful eyeliner.
-Gays and Lesbians. ("How can lesbians and homosexuals be fruitful and multiply? They cannot reproduce naturally. They must either adopt children, or else marry, have children, divorce, and sue for custody of those children. What a terrible thing to do to children in order to fulfill one's own selfish lusts.") Yes. Because straight people *never* are unable to conceive, nor do they ever adopt or divorce.
"Examine the animal world. It has stayed sexually pure as it was created -- male and female -- not male/male and female/female. The only perversion of species has come through the hand of man. Many animals mate for life, and only death separates them.") Except for that *most* animals do not mate for life and... *cough gaypenguinsandfrogsetceteracough*)
-Frogs, owls, and even your goose cookie jar. Or just about any piece of jewelery, foreign object or statue of any kind. ("Some accursed objects are: owls, frogs, unicorns, horseshoes; items from other countries such as Africa, China, Japan; American Indian artifacts, carvings, pictures, Buddha statutes. Dolls and stuffed animals - dolls originated in voodoo. Paisley pattern on anything. Nike is a Greek god, according to the dictionary. Just Don't It!) Collections, Pictures of movie stars, some items passed down from ancestors, Shamrocks, Any kind of good luck charm, Statues, Oriental objects, African items, Indian items, American Indian items, Any items that are used in witchcraft, The Book of Mormon, satanic bible, Books on other religions, Rock and roll music, etc...
"You would do well to read the old classic, THE TWO BABYLONS by HISLOP. On page 102, is a picture of a saucy little GOOSE. Saucy. Little. Goose. There is an ornament around his neck and a little cupid is riding it. Hislop identifies it, not only as a Babylonian god, but also as the Egyptian Seb and the Indian brahmany goose. Today those attractive little ceramic geese are sold for home decorations. They are everywhere, on cookie jars, kitchen towels, etc." -- usually with a blue ribbon around the neck...
"Believers must be careful about bringing incense into their homes. Most people are unaware that much of the incense sold in curio and novelty shops was manufactured by devotees of the Hare Krishna cult. Their wares are dedicated to this demon god of the Hindus and can cause much trouble...
"We have heard that anything that becomes a fad has probably got a demonic background - angel statues, for instance - started by the new agers. Rainbows - started by the new agers... God of course, didn't "start" rainbows, or anything.
"Any type of collection - dolls (roots come from voodoo), owls and frogs (abominations to the Lord, as stated in the Bible), unicorns (lust and financial problems), etc. You may have only one or two of these items, but they are just as deadly as a collection. We have read and heard countless testimonies of what these items can do. Dolls levitate, walk and talk; owls caused cancer and when destroyed the person was totally healed. Please pray and seek the Lord regarding which items you must destroy. With pictures of movie stars you form a soul tie. One example is of a woman who came to us for DELIVERANCE from men and drugs. As I was praying for her the Lord impressed that the picture of Marilyn Monroe that was hanging above her bed was part of the problem. Marilyn Monroe had trouble with men and drugs and she died because of it... That SLUT!...
"The Lord began to show us the legal grounds Satan held. It was in his dolls! He had received one for Christmas and a small plastic boy sailor doll at birth. The Lord also told my husband of various stuffed toys (in shapes of animals - whales, dogs and kangaroos), a plastic toy "Big Bird" and matching bib. No, not BIG BIRD! These were thrown away and curses from them broken. Look for strange sicknesses or diseases that will not heal in children...) Or better yet, take them to a DOCTOR, moron! By the way, the site says that dolls levitate themselves. I dunno about you, but Raggedy Ann just kept falling off the bed. BUT BY ALL COSTS, BUY THEIR MARY KAY MAKEUP!
-Perfume. And pheromones. ("Since getting involved with DELIVERANCE, we stopped using perfume and cologne when we read that the first known use of perfume was traced back to Egypt when it was made and used to attract and seduce the opposite sex. Well, on the public TV they had a program about perfume and cologne. In the program they said that animals (including humans) produce smells that are sexually stimulating to the opposite sex. Guess what? When they make many perfumes and colognes, they try, attempt, and have succeeded at reproducing smells to sexually attract the opposite sex. Sure it smells good! Relate this to your DELIVERANCE, and you may want to go without any artificial stimulants on your skin or clothing.") Dude. DUDE. You produce pheromones *naturally*. How's that a sin?
-Your wedding band. ("Wedding rings are worn on the third finger of the left hand because of an old belief. People supposed that a vein runs directly from the finger to the heart, and thus heart and hand are offered together. Homosexuals normally wear a wedding ring on their right hand.")
-Islam. ("VIRGINS? You think you are getting VIRGINS when you murder and commit suicide? On TV, I heard a language expert say that VIRGINS was translated wrong. Because if it's on TV, it must be true! The real translation is WHITE RAISINS. He said that WHITE RAISINS were very prized by all. Unfortunately, when you die, you won't even get the raisins.") AHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Best. Comment. Ever.
-Your computer. ("A demon named depression causes you to be depressed.
"BOYCE and BOICE are two demons that interfere with any electronic equipment, i.e., phone, computer, printer, automibile.
"If something malfunctions, BIND UP these two demons, and command them to leave your equipment, in the name of Jesus.
"Here is an incoming email received February 9, 2001: "Hi, Just thought I'd let you know it took me all these hours to run off your complete deliverance manual. My computer kept shutting down, the connection to the internet kept shutting off, I got signs coming up this is an illegal action, you probably have heard all this before, but the devil sure didn't want me to get hold of your material....I thought there has to be some good stuff in here if the devil is this mad.....as soon as I finished running if off, my computer is working perfect...not shutting down,....not getting unconnected. Praise Jesus, He's stronger than any devil. I had to keep taking authority over devils to get the manual printed, even the printer tried to jam up. What a praise report....really. Devil you loose!!!Praise the Lord. Thank you for your web site. Blessings!") You're probably just using a Compaq, genius.
-Incubi & Succubi. ("I know there are countless women that this (demons sexually abusing them) is happening to, because every Christian woman I have spoken to about it (sex demons), 9 out of 10 it has happened to." NINE out of TEN!!") Oh. Em. Gee. This is where repressed sexual guilt gets you, people.
-Music. (" Music that you listen to that does NOT make you nervous is in this order, FIRST, the RHYTHM; SECOND, the MELODY (THE WORDS); THIRD, the BEAT. Much music have these three items out of sequence by putting the beat first. This upsets the natural rhythm in our being, as God created it. Rock and roll does this, and most all music, including "Christian" music. One sure sign is the BEAT of the drum (usually starting out the song) is just out there in front most of the time. It is real obvious. Ever wonder why drums are such a part of satan worship services? They "drum up" the demons. The witchdoctors in Africa and other places "drum up" the demons. (When was the last time you said you were going to "drum up" business or something else?) Next time you are listening to "Christian" music, listen for the BEAT. The words might be about Jesus, but if the BEAT is in the wrong place, the enemy may be involved. Find this hard to believe? Do some DELIVERANCE on it first.") Thank you, Saint Augustine. Also? A beat must exist for a rhythm to be established. Melody =/= words. Thank you music geek please move on. *head ----> *desk*
AND!
Can demons transfer from person to person? YES! They kinda CLONE. If you talk to a depressed person, you may find out you get depressed. Casting OUT that depressed demon will get rid of it. (PSYCHOLOGY 101. Take it.)
Can demons understand me Speaking in Tongues? YES! Sometimes they won't leave a person until you Speak in Tongues. The demons also speak in tongues at times. Almost sounds like you.
How do I know when the demons are gone? You no longer have the problem. (Golly, gee.)
Sadly, not a joke.
thebitingfaery. See her post here.www.demonbuster.com
Demons are in everything, including:
-Paisley Prints. Well, as
bailunrui pointed out, we kinda knew that already.-Pierced Ears. ("According to Bible History, the only people who had pierced ears/nose were sorcerers, prostitutes, and slaves. Because of this origin, you should not pierce your skin.") Well, Britney Spears fits two of the above criteria- must be because she's pierced! AHA!
-The Terminator. ("In October 2000, a friend fell and broke some bones in her foot. She also had a place where the skin was broken and this area got infected. As she was seeking the Lord, a friend of hers called and said that she had been attached by a spirit (demon) called THE TERMINATOR. They went on to say that this demon could not kill you, but it could beat you up, cause you pain, cause you to pass out, etc.") Ahhehehehehe. California may well agree.
-Prescription Drugs. ("RX is a symbol used on prescriptions written by doctors. It is generally accepted as representing the Latin word "recipe", which means to take. RX is traceable to the sign of Jupiter, which was placed on ancient prescriptions to appeal to that god for favorable action of the compound.We are not telling you to stop taking prescriptions. However, if you are having difficulty receiving DELIVERANCE from sickness, you may need to call out the name of the prescription.") Penicillin! I cast you out in the name of JAYZUS!!
-Horoscopes. ("Lord Jesus we at the Breakfast Club confess that Horoscopes is a abomination in Your eyes and confess this to be a sin according your Word.") And yet, we were not saved from Ally Sheedy's awful eyeliner.
-Gays and Lesbians. ("How can lesbians and homosexuals be fruitful and multiply? They cannot reproduce naturally. They must either adopt children, or else marry, have children, divorce, and sue for custody of those children. What a terrible thing to do to children in order to fulfill one's own selfish lusts.") Yes. Because straight people *never* are unable to conceive, nor do they ever adopt or divorce.
"Examine the animal world. It has stayed sexually pure as it was created -- male and female -- not male/male and female/female. The only perversion of species has come through the hand of man. Many animals mate for life, and only death separates them.") Except for that *most* animals do not mate for life and... *cough gaypenguinsandfrogsetceteracough*)
-Frogs, owls, and even your goose cookie jar. Or just about any piece of jewelery, foreign object or statue of any kind. ("Some accursed objects are: owls, frogs, unicorns, horseshoes; items from other countries such as Africa, China, Japan; American Indian artifacts, carvings, pictures, Buddha statutes. Dolls and stuffed animals - dolls originated in voodoo. Paisley pattern on anything. Nike is a Greek god, according to the dictionary. Just Don't It!) Collections, Pictures of movie stars, some items passed down from ancestors, Shamrocks, Any kind of good luck charm, Statues, Oriental objects, African items, Indian items, American Indian items, Any items that are used in witchcraft, The Book of Mormon, satanic bible, Books on other religions, Rock and roll music, etc...
"You would do well to read the old classic, THE TWO BABYLONS by HISLOP. On page 102, is a picture of a saucy little GOOSE. Saucy. Little. Goose. There is an ornament around his neck and a little cupid is riding it. Hislop identifies it, not only as a Babylonian god, but also as the Egyptian Seb and the Indian brahmany goose. Today those attractive little ceramic geese are sold for home decorations. They are everywhere, on cookie jars, kitchen towels, etc." -- usually with a blue ribbon around the neck...
"Believers must be careful about bringing incense into their homes. Most people are unaware that much of the incense sold in curio and novelty shops was manufactured by devotees of the Hare Krishna cult. Their wares are dedicated to this demon god of the Hindus and can cause much trouble...
"We have heard that anything that becomes a fad has probably got a demonic background - angel statues, for instance - started by the new agers. Rainbows - started by the new agers... God of course, didn't "start" rainbows, or anything.
"Any type of collection - dolls (roots come from voodoo), owls and frogs (abominations to the Lord, as stated in the Bible), unicorns (lust and financial problems), etc. You may have only one or two of these items, but they are just as deadly as a collection. We have read and heard countless testimonies of what these items can do. Dolls levitate, walk and talk; owls caused cancer and when destroyed the person was totally healed. Please pray and seek the Lord regarding which items you must destroy. With pictures of movie stars you form a soul tie. One example is of a woman who came to us for DELIVERANCE from men and drugs. As I was praying for her the Lord impressed that the picture of Marilyn Monroe that was hanging above her bed was part of the problem. Marilyn Monroe had trouble with men and drugs and she died because of it... That SLUT!...
"The Lord began to show us the legal grounds Satan held. It was in his dolls! He had received one for Christmas and a small plastic boy sailor doll at birth. The Lord also told my husband of various stuffed toys (in shapes of animals - whales, dogs and kangaroos), a plastic toy "Big Bird" and matching bib. No, not BIG BIRD! These were thrown away and curses from them broken. Look for strange sicknesses or diseases that will not heal in children...) Or better yet, take them to a DOCTOR, moron! By the way, the site says that dolls levitate themselves. I dunno about you, but Raggedy Ann just kept falling off the bed. BUT BY ALL COSTS, BUY THEIR MARY KAY MAKEUP!
-Perfume. And pheromones. ("Since getting involved with DELIVERANCE, we stopped using perfume and cologne when we read that the first known use of perfume was traced back to Egypt when it was made and used to attract and seduce the opposite sex. Well, on the public TV they had a program about perfume and cologne. In the program they said that animals (including humans) produce smells that are sexually stimulating to the opposite sex. Guess what? When they make many perfumes and colognes, they try, attempt, and have succeeded at reproducing smells to sexually attract the opposite sex. Sure it smells good! Relate this to your DELIVERANCE, and you may want to go without any artificial stimulants on your skin or clothing.") Dude. DUDE. You produce pheromones *naturally*. How's that a sin?
-Your wedding band. ("Wedding rings are worn on the third finger of the left hand because of an old belief. People supposed that a vein runs directly from the finger to the heart, and thus heart and hand are offered together. Homosexuals normally wear a wedding ring on their right hand.")
-Islam. ("VIRGINS? You think you are getting VIRGINS when you murder and commit suicide? On TV, I heard a language expert say that VIRGINS was translated wrong. Because if it's on TV, it must be true! The real translation is WHITE RAISINS. He said that WHITE RAISINS were very prized by all. Unfortunately, when you die, you won't even get the raisins.") AHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Best. Comment. Ever.
-Your computer. ("A demon named depression causes you to be depressed.
"BOYCE and BOICE are two demons that interfere with any electronic equipment, i.e., phone, computer, printer, automibile.
"If something malfunctions, BIND UP these two demons, and command them to leave your equipment, in the name of Jesus.
"Here is an incoming email received February 9, 2001: "Hi, Just thought I'd let you know it took me all these hours to run off your complete deliverance manual. My computer kept shutting down, the connection to the internet kept shutting off, I got signs coming up this is an illegal action, you probably have heard all this before, but the devil sure didn't want me to get hold of your material....I thought there has to be some good stuff in here if the devil is this mad.....as soon as I finished running if off, my computer is working perfect...not shutting down,....not getting unconnected. Praise Jesus, He's stronger than any devil. I had to keep taking authority over devils to get the manual printed, even the printer tried to jam up. What a praise report....really. Devil you loose!!!Praise the Lord. Thank you for your web site. Blessings!") You're probably just using a Compaq, genius.
-Incubi & Succubi. ("I know there are countless women that this (demons sexually abusing them) is happening to, because every Christian woman I have spoken to about it (sex demons), 9 out of 10 it has happened to." NINE out of TEN!!") Oh. Em. Gee. This is where repressed sexual guilt gets you, people.
-Music. (" Music that you listen to that does NOT make you nervous is in this order, FIRST, the RHYTHM; SECOND, the MELODY (THE WORDS); THIRD, the BEAT. Much music have these three items out of sequence by putting the beat first. This upsets the natural rhythm in our being, as God created it. Rock and roll does this, and most all music, including "Christian" music. One sure sign is the BEAT of the drum (usually starting out the song) is just out there in front most of the time. It is real obvious. Ever wonder why drums are such a part of satan worship services? They "drum up" the demons. The witchdoctors in Africa and other places "drum up" the demons. (When was the last time you said you were going to "drum up" business or something else?) Next time you are listening to "Christian" music, listen for the BEAT. The words might be about Jesus, but if the BEAT is in the wrong place, the enemy may be involved. Find this hard to believe? Do some DELIVERANCE on it first.") Thank you, Saint Augustine. Also? A beat must exist for a rhythm to be established. Melody =/= words. Thank you music geek please move on. *head ----> *desk*
AND!
Can demons transfer from person to person? YES! They kinda CLONE. If you talk to a depressed person, you may find out you get depressed. Casting OUT that depressed demon will get rid of it. (PSYCHOLOGY 101. Take it.)
Can demons understand me Speaking in Tongues? YES! Sometimes they won't leave a person until you Speak in Tongues. The demons also speak in tongues at times. Almost sounds like you.
How do I know when the demons are gone? You no longer have the problem. (Golly, gee.)
Sadly, not a joke.