Seen posted earlier on Tumblr:
What a complete and utter load of shit, though. Men who are ‘terrified’ of women don’t have self confidence in the first place. So what if they might get criticized or turned down for a date. MY, HOW UTTERLY TERRIFYING. Those scary, scary wimmenses, amirite? How ‘bout you ask women what they find “terrifying” about men? I am guessing they wouldn’t apply that word to having to consider their partners’ feelings, just sayin’. (Not to go and say all men are rapists— they’re not, and that’s not what I’m saying. I’m just saying that the word “terrifying” in this context is absolute bullshit, all things considered. I hate that I have to even point that out.)
Protip? 90% of the time when men get called out for saying something sexist, it’s because they actually said something sexist. If a dude suspects what he’s thinking might be sexist, I don’t think it’s a bad thing that he spends time considering it before he says it, or broaching it as a question/discussion instead. And If a man does say what he’s thinking and is wearing his adult pants, he should be able to deal with potential criticism— thinking about what he said from the less privileged perspective, evaluating if he’s got a blind spot, and then move the discussion from there. Not shrink off and write some snot-nosed bullshit about how he’s gotta “suppress his masculinity” or somesuch, because basically what he’s saying is “oh noes, I have to deal with potential criticism for what I’m saying!” Sorry dude, no sympathy here. Adult pants. Wear them while you whine about how women are destroying your precious masculinity.
Also: “masculine” is NOT synonymous with “sexist.” Gender is mostly a social construct, anyway. So you don’t have to suppress your “masculinity.” What you’ve gotta repress is the ability to say stuff you know is probably sexist— just fucking be honest about that, okay?
And honestly, there’s a difference between a genuinely nice guy and a “Mr. Nice Guy.” Mr. Nice Guys often feel somewhat entitled owing to the fact that they’re not total douchebros— that in itself is problematic. (I have known MANY Mr. Nice Guys like this.) If you’ve got to make a conscious effort to “present [yourself]” as a Nice Guy to avoid coming off as an ass, it’s probably because you’re not actually a nice guy in the first place.
Re: beauty products— so, um, you know the ridiculous standards that women have been held to for centuries? How we’re constantly body-policed and told we’re not pretty enough? By the media, by men, by each other? How women take the lion’s share of eating disorder stats and more women wear makeup not because it’s fun (and it is, I love makeup!) but instead because we’ve been told our bare faces are not attractive enough, or that we won’t be taken seriously in a professional environment? It’s all because of sexism. There is a multi-billion dollar industry solely devoted to telling us how we’re not pretty enough unless we buy this lipstick or that foundation or this cosmetic procedure. And even then, nothing is ever good enough because “attractive enough” is a moving target. So it seems to me that the complaint here is “in being told to care about our appearance, we are acting more like women now,” which… let me cry you a river, guy. Let’s start by dismantling the problem— how patriarchy and unrealistic beauty standards suck for everybody— instead of blaming the shelves lined with Axe and dudely hair gel on feminism.
The tl;dr is that I am SO TIRED of dudes talking about how mens’ privilege problems are feminism’s fault. How women are usurping their roles in society. How women hold all the cards blah blah blah. (Rape culture says WHAT? Pay gap still says WHAT?) Newsflash: even though things are beginning to change— thanks in no small part to feminism— this is not actually a zero-sum game. Women are not taking from men in order to change the dynamic into one that is a bit less hostile to them.
This quote comes off as a thinly-veiled whine from someone who probably watches Mad Men as a “man, life was so much better when…” than as the critique of gender roles it actually is.
Oh, I'm sorry. Was this post too terrifying for you?
Men are now generally terrified of women. They hold their tongues for fear of being misinterpreted as sexist; they constantly attempt to secondguess their partner in order to avoid giving offence. They preen themselves with groaning shelves full of beauty products so they won’t incur derision and scorn. They suppress their masculinity and present themselves as cuddly Mr. Nice Guys, and won’t project self-confidence in case it’s regarded as unreconstructed machismo.
--The DailyFail's old as balls and charmingly-titled How Feminism Destroyed Real Men
What a complete and utter load of shit, though. Men who are ‘terrified’ of women don’t have self confidence in the first place. So what if they might get criticized or turned down for a date. MY, HOW UTTERLY TERRIFYING. Those scary, scary wimmenses, amirite? How ‘bout you ask women what they find “terrifying” about men? I am guessing they wouldn’t apply that word to having to consider their partners’ feelings, just sayin’. (Not to go and say all men are rapists— they’re not, and that’s not what I’m saying. I’m just saying that the word “terrifying” in this context is absolute bullshit, all things considered. I hate that I have to even point that out.)
Protip? 90% of the time when men get called out for saying something sexist, it’s because they actually said something sexist. If a dude suspects what he’s thinking might be sexist, I don’t think it’s a bad thing that he spends time considering it before he says it, or broaching it as a question/discussion instead. And If a man does say what he’s thinking and is wearing his adult pants, he should be able to deal with potential criticism— thinking about what he said from the less privileged perspective, evaluating if he’s got a blind spot, and then move the discussion from there. Not shrink off and write some snot-nosed bullshit about how he’s gotta “suppress his masculinity” or somesuch, because basically what he’s saying is “oh noes, I have to deal with potential criticism for what I’m saying!” Sorry dude, no sympathy here. Adult pants. Wear them while you whine about how women are destroying your precious masculinity.
Also: “masculine” is NOT synonymous with “sexist.” Gender is mostly a social construct, anyway. So you don’t have to suppress your “masculinity.” What you’ve gotta repress is the ability to say stuff you know is probably sexist— just fucking be honest about that, okay?
And honestly, there’s a difference between a genuinely nice guy and a “Mr. Nice Guy.” Mr. Nice Guys often feel somewhat entitled owing to the fact that they’re not total douchebros— that in itself is problematic. (I have known MANY Mr. Nice Guys like this.) If you’ve got to make a conscious effort to “present [yourself]” as a Nice Guy to avoid coming off as an ass, it’s probably because you’re not actually a nice guy in the first place.
Re: beauty products— so, um, you know the ridiculous standards that women have been held to for centuries? How we’re constantly body-policed and told we’re not pretty enough? By the media, by men, by each other? How women take the lion’s share of eating disorder stats and more women wear makeup not because it’s fun (and it is, I love makeup!) but instead because we’ve been told our bare faces are not attractive enough, or that we won’t be taken seriously in a professional environment? It’s all because of sexism. There is a multi-billion dollar industry solely devoted to telling us how we’re not pretty enough unless we buy this lipstick or that foundation or this cosmetic procedure. And even then, nothing is ever good enough because “attractive enough” is a moving target. So it seems to me that the complaint here is “in being told to care about our appearance, we are acting more like women now,” which… let me cry you a river, guy. Let’s start by dismantling the problem— how patriarchy and unrealistic beauty standards suck for everybody— instead of blaming the shelves lined with Axe and dudely hair gel on feminism.
The tl;dr is that I am SO TIRED of dudes talking about how mens’ privilege problems are feminism’s fault. How women are usurping their roles in society. How women hold all the cards blah blah blah. (Rape culture says WHAT? Pay gap still says WHAT?) Newsflash: even though things are beginning to change— thanks in no small part to feminism— this is not actually a zero-sum game. Women are not taking from men in order to change the dynamic into one that is a bit less hostile to them.
This quote comes off as a thinly-veiled whine from someone who probably watches Mad Men as a “man, life was so much better when…” than as the critique of gender roles it actually is.
Oh, I'm sorry. Was this post too terrifying for you?
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