Run For Your Lives: The Zombie Obstacle Course / 5k

This was held in Darlington, MD on Saturday. Expectations were high. They'd aired a commercial during the premiere of The Walking Dead, and the website promised a fun race, celebrity appearances, good vending, etc.

Yeah, way to fail hardcore, Run For Your Lives planning people.

First of all, this was the first of the RFYL events. They sold 10,000 tickets. First mistake. An inaugural event should be a) discounted to make up for any shortcomings, or b) under-sold just to get the hang of things. Because this place was a CLUSTERFUCK of EPIC PROPORTIONS. The website said "arrive an hour before your heat." They should have written "arrive 4 hours before your heat" to account for the horrific traffic. We left Pikesville at 8:30am to make the one hour drive to Darlington, which would theoretically give us two hours' worth of leeway before Jason's 11:30 heat. It took us almost three hours to crawl the last 3 miles to the parking site. People were bailing cars and pissing on private property. 10,000 cars on a tiny country road.. it was worse than any RenFaire traffic I have ever seen. When we finally got to park, we had to wait 30 mins for a shuttle bus. We got on site and through registration around 1:30ish.

Secondly: Total confusion. Important things were missing from Jason's registration packet. His timing chip, used to log his run time, for instance. We got bounced to three places across the site while uninformed employees and volunteers tried to figure out how to rectify this seemingly simple issue. Jason didn't actually get to run until the 2:30 wave. Let's add to that: no clocks at the start OR finish. No leaderboards. No announcements over the loudspeaker announcing waves. No real announcement system of any sort. It was just total confusion-- you asked three employees the same question, and you got three different answers.

Third issue: There were three non-food vendors. THREE. A hot sauce vendor, a tee shirt vendor, and a vendor selling cheap plastic jewelry predominantly featuring the plastic zombie cameos that are ubiquitous on Etsy. Food was meh-- the workers at the food stand were awesome and on point, but it was carnival food, and there was only one warm drink option (watery hot chocolate) mid-October. People who wanted beer had to wait in three lines to get some. And "celebrity appearances"? Would you be shocked if I said "nope"?

Fourth issue: The "spectator pass" ($35), which I got as a non-runner, basically means you're paying to watch the finish line, and that's it. Another person on the RFYL facebook page said they got to see a few of the obstacles, but I asked *two* employees/volunteers what part of the course I could watch, and they both told me just the finish. Which was a crappy mangled fence that people could slide under. It was... underwhelming. I won't take issue with the bands they got to play-- they were pretty decent. But basically, if you weren't running, there was NOTHING else you could do with your $35 except spend more money. It was a total rip-off.

Fifth issue: The filth. Cars were getting stuck in the mud because they didn't lay down hay until the evening, port-a-pots were starting to overflow at 1pm, and had long been out of toilet paper.

Sixth issue: The zombie volunteers were great! However, several have said that they had 5 hour shifts and didn't get water until almost 11am. No wonder by the later heats, many were too tired to sprint after runners.

Seventh issue: Jason said that the run itself was pretty fun. HOWEVER. Due to the extreme backups, an estimated 500 people who had already paid for their tickets and sat in hellish traffic were told that they could not run. And (non-staff) people on the facebook pages are having the ridiculous nerve to say they shouldn't be upset because it was the first event and shit happens. Um. No. If you go to a $75 restaurant where the valet fucks with your car, and then your meal arrives 3+ late or not at all, you have every right to speak to the manager. Your waitress forgot your water? That's a "let it go, it's her first day" offense. If this were a community event or a free event, I could see "shit happens." But no, we're talking about a business transaction at a highly commercialized event, and people had every right to be livid. Hell, Jason got to run, and I was pretty cranky all day.

Anyway, he lived. One flag left. Yay. He got a medal and a blank white tee shirt because apparently a logo tee shirt was totally beyond these people. The were too busy counting their money or something.



There are a few more events scheduled between now and next fall. If reviews improve, I'd consider going next year. But right now, I am just very cranky at the shitty planning and execution of this event.

21. A favourite pagan/witchy movie.

As cliche as it is, Practical Magic. I mean, it's a romcom deep at its core, but has several things going for it: Sandra Bullock (I've always liked her), Nicole Kidman's hair, midnight margaritas, "there's no devil in the craft," and the prettiest BOS I've ever seen. Movie effects & Hollywood exaggerations aside, it's at least kinda accurate about the craft. And I do love the relationship between the sisters. It's very realistic, and when it came down to it, it was the strongest bond in the film, romcom be damned.

22. Favorite tarot card/rune/ogham stave/oracle card that carries a deeper meaning for you.

I have three personal runes. They are carved into my athame, and I consider them closest to my heart. I didn't necessarily choose them for myself so much as they just kept showing up, so I adopted them. In some cases, I didn't even realize why they were meant for me until years later.

Nauthiz - the need-fire. Essentially, trials & tribulations lead to strength. They are the fire in which steel is formed.

Perthro - the dice cup. That which is unknowable, the mystery. The ability to shape fate. The ability to see the hidden.

Dagaz - the sign of transformation. The walker between worlds. The liminal. The balance between two opposites. Dawn after a long night. Hope.