And truly, so appropriate.



( Punchline.Collapse )

I have a tendency to switch lappies, thus losing links. My preferred method of keeping track of important links has thus become LJ tags, 'cause I can access those any time I have a computer handy. Thanks to naamah_darling.

For my records:

What is Splainin' And Why Should I Care?

Me? A Mainsplainer? Let me mansplain.

karenhealey: Mansplaning. Also, a follow-up: Why gender-neutral terms don't accurately grok the privilege aspect of the term.

You May Be a Mansplainer If...

In short, favorite exerpts:

--In a nutshell, ’splainin’ [ed: or "mansplaining" in discussions of sexism] is an “explanation” which is put forward in the most patronizing way possible. The ’splainer feels passionately that [his/her] opinion and beliefs outweigh actual lived experience and wishes to inform everyone of this fact.

-- [You may be a mansplainer if you:] Ignore everything everyone says, then accuse everyone else of being sexist to you.

--Here’s a thing about mansplaining and why I care a lot about it: it is annoying, and frustrating, and insulting, and deeply rooted in institutionalized sexism, and often profoundly harmful to women. We talk about all of that. What we don’t always talk about is how easily it shades into gaslighting: your reality is false, my reality is true.

And, as we all know, discussion of a reality that is not the privileged (ie, default) reality is profoundly uncomfortable and therefore must be denied outright, hypothetically or existentially questioned (imho, those most disingenuous of all reactions), or 'splained away.

Example of 'splainin/ mansplaining:

You [read: ladies and men who care about social justice] need to get over [actual phrase used] being angry about sexism and do some nebulous thing that I, random dude on the internet, endorse as enacting positive change. Because if you don't you're just hand-wringing, which is my smug way of characterizing trying to have a discussion about sexism in a public space. No, I don't know what enacting positive change specifically entails, nor will I answer this direct question, but I do know that education won't help, that's for sure. And why does your worldview deserve consideration above my own white dude one, anyhow? Are you sure your morals are right? [Actual question posed.] Actually, there's not a whole lot that can be done about sexism; life isn't fair. I am going to ignore the questions you are posing to me and call you sexist instead. So just follow the golden rule and stop trying to be the thought police. That should fix everything. *flounce*

Mostly paraphrased, of course. Also, did you know that pointing out when someone is trying to problematically mansplain something to you in a discussion about sexism is the same thing as marginalizing them? THIS IS SO SEXIST. WOE! I do now, because a man has told me so! It is so clear now!

Let's all stop talking about sexism-- you know, that tiny thing where women are institutionally marginalized-- and nurse the feelings of the dude who feels marginalized because of a freakin' verb. If we can shift the focus of the conversation back to the privileged view, derailing is complete! Whew!

[What is the sexism equivalent of "White Womens' Tears" anyhow?]

You guys, I laughed. Long and fucking hard, y'all. That privilege blind spot is roughly the size of the goddamn Death Star.

Bean was not at all pleased that we had overnight guests last night and spent all morning yelling at us and nervously pacing. Our guests left, and, her domestic world restored, Bean chilled. She then promptly pulled her dad into a Nap Vortex.

Now, we're off to get steaks for a cozy Valentine's day in! I have roses, stargazer lilies, and chocolates. Yum.