I feel like I haven't stopped crying since yesterday afternoon. ( Less pleasant stuff.Collapse )

I'll sleep for a few hours here and there, wake up, force myself to drink some water, cry, then repeat the whole process. Had to pull myself together enough to go to the PO to deliver a rush order. Came to Dixie's, cried some more. The shock of the suddenness has abated, but not the expectation that he'll come chasing Olive out of a corner or something. When I fed her this morning, I broke down because he's usually the first to the bowl, and she was unsure about eating without waiting for her brother.

Olive is doing okay. She's usually the skittish one, and thoroughly Jason's cat. Last night, she slept in bed with us, curled up in my arms. She gave me good morning licks on the nose. She knows we're hurting. She's a good girl.

I miss my little Squeaker so much. Jason called him Squirtle. He was just so amazing. So full of love. There will never be another little kitty like Squeaky. Just Thursday, he was climbing me and hanging around my neck like a scarf. We loved each other so, so much. I miss my little man.